The Way You Show Up

Latest Episodes:

Dr. Richard Tedeschi: Turning Trauma Into Growth Jan 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, we dive into the transformative journey of post-traumatic growth with the renowned Dr. Richard Tedeschi. A pioneer in the field, Dr. Tedeschi unveils how traumatic experiences can lead to profound personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose.

Key Highlights:

Understanding Post-Traumatic Growth: Dr. Tedeschi explains the process of turning adversity into advantage, challenging core beliefs, and emerging stronger.
Trauma and Core Beliefs: An in-depth discussion on how trauma can shake the foundations of what we believe, leading to anxiety, confusion, and ultimately, growth.
Expert Guidance: From his extensive experience as a clinician, researcher, and professor, Dr. Tedeschi shares valuable insights on navigating the complexities of trauma.
Personal Transformation: Discover how traumatic events can reshape your view of the world, strengthen relationships, and open new life paths.
Healing and Moving Forward: Practical advice on overcoming the overwhelming feelings of trauma and channeling them into positive life changes.

This episode is a must-watch for anyone looking to understand the psychological impact of trauma and the potential for positive change in its aftermath. Whether you are navigating personal challenges, supporting a loved one, or simply interested in psychological resilience, Dr. Tedeschi's insights offer a beacon of hope and a roadmap to recovery.

Today's Guest: Dr. Richard Tedeschi
Dr. Richard Tedeschi is Executive Director of the Boulder Crest Institute for Posttraumatic Growth, in Bluemont, Virginia, where he has been one of the developers of programs based on posttraumatic growth principles to help combat veterans and first responders. He is also Professor Emeritus in the Department of Psychological Science at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, where he served for 42 years.

He has published nine books and numerous professional articles on posttraumatic growth, an area of research that he developed while at UNC Charlotte.

Dr. Tedeschi serves as a consultant to the American Psychological Association on trauma and resilience, and is a Fellow of the Division of Trauma Psychology and the Division of Psychotherapy. He is also a member of the Division of Military Psychology and the Division of Independent Practice. He is a Past President of the North Carolina Psychological Association.

LINKS:
https://bouldercrest.org/
Read More About Post Traumatic Growth
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Kimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 200,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Mastering Habit Transformation with Dr. Mel Davis Jan 16, 2024

Show notes

Unlock the secrets to lasting habit transformation with Dr. Mel Davis, a brilliant mind in neurobiology and behavior, as we unravel the layers of willpower management and habit building. Dr. Davis guides us through the journey of self-improvement without overwhelming oneself, highlighting the significance of incremental changes and the patience required, similar to mastering an instrument or earning a degree. We delve into prioritizing habits that will most positively impact your life, offering actionable strategies to build momentum and bolster self-efficacy.
Confessing my personal struggles with syncing my nutrition with my steadfast exercise regimen, this episode offers a candid look into why it's tougher to break old habits than to form new ones. Dr. Davis shares her expertise on the psychology behind habit formation, discussing the ins and outs of a balanced diet rich in vegetables and the necessity of focusing on behavior for sustainable health. Especially as the festive season brings its share of temptations, learn how to enjoy life's indulgences in moderation and maintain a consistent approach to wellness.
Strength training myths get debunked regardless of gender, as we illuminate its benefits, from osteoporosis prevention to body composition enhancement. We discuss the right equipment for every level and the proper frequency for strength sessions to maximize benefits while managing hunger on a calorie deficit. Dr. Davis also imparts wisdom on protein and macronutrient balance tailored to individual needs, ensuring listeners leave armed with knowledge to navigate their fitness journeys with confidence. Join us for a robust conversation that marries exercise, nutrition, and the craft of developing habits that stick.
Today's Guest: Dr. Mel Davis
Dr. Melissa Davis holds a PhD in Neurobiology and Behavior and has 10 years of research experience. She has earned awards for teaching, scholarship, and research. A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt and a repeat IBJJF Master World Champion, she has represented the U.S. in the Abu Dhabi World Pro twice. She currently does contract work for Renaissance Periodization, where she writes books, coaches clients, and develops nutrition and training products. In her free time she hikes, backpacks, hunts, forages, gardens, and trains her horse and mule in Montana.

Links:

Instagram: @regressive_underload

Habit Book: ebook: https://rpstrength.com/evidence-based-habit-building

print, kindle, audio: https://www.amazon.com/Evidence-Based-Habit-Building-Finally-Done/dp/B09HHM1NL4

RP Coaching: https://rpstrength.com/rp-coaching?selected=diet-and-training-coaching-menu_coaching
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

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"Madly In Love" Researcher Talks Love, Limerence, and Mating For Life with Dr. Helen Fisher Jan 09, 2024

Show notes

Unlock the mysteries of your heart as we traverse the captivating landscape of love with the guidance of Dr. Helen Fisher. This episode promises a profound understanding of the intricate dance between brain chemistry and romance, as we delve into why we fall for the partners we do, and whether that intense spark of new love can blossom into a lifelong flame.
Join me in this heartfelt conversation with Dr. Fisher, where we dissect the essence of limerence and its metamorphosis into enduring love. Ever wondered if there's a science to staying happily in love? We've got you covered, sharing secrets on maintaining passion, the art of emotional regulation, and the magic of 'positive illusions'. Prepare to be enlightened by the anthropological undercurrents of relationship dynamics and practical strategies for rekindling romance, armed with wisdom from both Dr. Fisher and relationship expert, John Gottman.
As we wrap up our journey with Dr. Fisher, we shed new light on how novelty, personality, and even the biological forces at play shape our romantic relationships. Explore the four personality styles that dictate our love lives, and understand the profound implications of love in our later years. We'll also unveil the biological patterns that often lead to divorce and why long-term commitment holds the key to a healthier, more fulfilling life. This episode is not just a treasure trove of insights—it's a roadmap for deepening the connections that mean the most to us. Let's dive in!
Today's Guest: Helen Fisher, PhD Biological Anthropoligist
HELEN FISHER, PhD BIOLOGICAL ANTHROPOLOGIST, is Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute; and Chief Science Advisor to Match.com . She uses brain scanning (fMRI) to study the neural foundations of romantic love, attachment, rejection in love, love addiction and long-term partnership happiness. She has written six internationally best-selling books on mate choice, romantic love, marriage, gender differences in the brain and the evolution and future of the family in the digital age. Her books include: ANATOMY OF LOVE (2 ND ed); WHY WE LOVE; and WHY HIM? WHY HER?. Fisher is currently studying the biological basis of personality--using her fMRI data and data collected from her questionnaire, the Fisher Temperament Inventory, now taken by 15+ million people in 40 countries. She is currently writing her 7th book, applying these data on four foundational temperament dimensions to business and personal living. Her personality questionnaire has been called “a disruptive technology” and “the next Myers-Briggs.” Helen is the co-founder of a business consulting company, NEUROCOLOR. She is in the media regularly. She is a TED All-Star with over 21 million views of her TED talks, a recipient of the American Anthropological Association’s Distinguished Service Award for her work at presenting anthropological data to the public; and chosen in 2015 by Business Insider as one of “The Fifteen Most Amazing Women in Science.”
LINKS:
Website: https://helenfisher.com/
Personality Test
Books: https://helenfisher.com/books/
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlyb

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Why THIS Fad Diet Isn't Good - Try These Goals Instead Jan 02, 2024

Show notes

As the confetti settles and the last echoes of "Happy New Year" fade away, I'm reminded of my New Year's Eve wedding and the profound sense of beginning anew it instilled in me. That's why this episode is dedicated to the art of self-reflection and goal setting, not just as a seasonal tradition, but as a transformative practice that can steer the course of our lives. I'll take you on a personal journey through the highs and lows of setting intentions, sharing the heartfelt story of how my own New Year's resolutions have evolved—from festive ambitions to a deeply rooted pursuit of personal growth.
Goal setting can sometimes feel like a mountain that's insurmountable, especially if we're scaling it with the wrong equipment. That's where I challenge the one-size-fits-all mentality of popular programs like the 75 Hard challenge, and instead, advocate for a more individualized touch. I delve into the nuances of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, supported by the insights of psychological experts Sheldon, Elliot, and Deci, to reveal why some goals stick and others slip away. In this heartfelt discussion, I emphasize the power of aligning goals with our innermost values and passions, paving a path that's uniquely ours to tread.
As we wrap up this episode, I invite you to contemplate self-concordant goals—those that not only resonate with who we are but also connect us to something greater. I'll share strategies for setting purposeful objectives that bolster our sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness, creating a harmonious balance that elevates our wellbeing. You'll leave this conversation equipped with the knowledge to choose goals that not only promise a year of intention but also a lifetime of fulfillment—goals that are as unique and personal as the stories we write with each new chapter of our lives.
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

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Lessons I Learned From 2023 Dec 26, 2023

Show notes

2023 has FLOWN by! We thought we would put together an end of year recap of the most popular episodes of the year! We'll be back next week with an all new episode to kick off 2024 ❤️
Episodes:
Sherry Gaba
Dave Delaney
Toi Sweeney
Julie Beckerman
Dallas Jenkins
How Attraction Leads To Love
Jamie Gagnon
Karla McLaren
Dr. Laurie Watson
3 Steps to Heal A Broken Marriage
Jefferson Fisher
Andrea Beach
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a review!

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How To Spot A Liar: Unraveling Truth and Trust in Relationships with Andrea Beach Dec 19, 2023

Show notes

Are you feeling overwhelmed by dishonesty and half-truths in your life? Join us for an engaging and enlightening conversation about communication, truth, and trust. In this episode, we're joined by Andrea Beach, a renowned hypnotherapist, who explores why people sometimes choose to be untruthful and how we can detect these falsehoods. We'll look at the impact of deceit on relationships and the importance of honesty in strengthening our connections with others.

Get ready for an insightful journey as we tackle how to confront deception in our lives. Drawing from our own experiences and offering practical advice, we'll discuss the importance of trusting your instincts when dealing with dishonesty. Plus, we'll introduce the unique TEAM framework - Touch, Education, Affirmation/Appreciation, and Metrics - a powerful tool for building trust in your relationships.

This episode isn't just about improving communication and trust; it's a guide for personal development and success in both personal and professional realms. If you find this episode helpful, please share it with others who might benefit and consider leaving a review to support our show's growth. Let's dive in!
Today's Guest: Andrea Beach
Andrea Beach is an entrepreneur, investor, humanitarian, and a highly acclaimed life & business coach. She has empowered thousands of people from all around the world through her Master Classes, books, videos, and live events. A leading authority on human behavior, Ms. Beach is a certified hypnotherapist, and trained in NLP (Neuro- Linguistic Programming) and DHE (Design Human Engineering). She has worked with Fortune 500 companies, and people from all walks of life to create successful programs for transformation and success.
Website:

https://lifeunleashed.online

Launch video:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=sPtwBMDIkcI&feature=sharea

YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@the_andrea_beach

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090920945177&mibextid=LQQJ4d

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/lifeunleashedonline?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a review!

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Transforming Communication with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Dr. Diana Hill Dec 12, 2023

Show notes

Are you ready to transform your communication skills? Let us accompany you on this insightful journey with clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Diana Hill. Be prepared to reframe your approach to challenging conversations, armed with acceptance, compassion, and a respect for the delicate dance of human interaction. Dr. Hill generously imparts wisdom from her own recovery journey and research, expertly merging scientific insights with spiritual influences. She also introduces us to acceptance-based practices such as Aptide Awareness Training and dialectical behavior therapy, showing us how aligning our actions with our personal values can lead to a life of deeper meaning.
Next, we delve deeper into the world of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) guided by a therapist who has co-authored a journal on this very topic. Find out how ACT stands apart from other therapeutic methods and how you can apply its principles in your daily life. We’ll navigate through the concept of creative hopelessness, acceptance, the importance of being present, and committed action, all crucial components of the ACT process. This is an enlightening exploration for anyone curious about ACT or those seeking tools to navigate changes and live a life of fulfillment.
Our conversation doesn’t end there. We examine the challenge of aligning our efforts with our values, particularly for those with ambition and drive. Here we discuss the idea of wise effort, a guide for channeling our energy effectively. Learn about the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, embracing honest communication, and remaining steadfast in our values. This episode promises to be a compass guiding you towards a life that’s healthier, more productive, and ultimately, more fulfilled. Don’t miss this opportunity to turn your listening time into a masterclass on personal growth! Let's dive in!
Today's Guest: Dr. Diana Hill
Diana Hill, PhD is a clinical psychologist and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the ACT Daily Card Deck, and the upcoming book The Self-Compassion Daily Journal (May 2024). A leader in the practical application of acceptance and commitment therapy, Dr. Hill trains mental health professionals in ACT, hosts the podcast Your Life in Process, blogs for Psychology Today and Mindfil.org and teaches on Insight Timer Meditation. Dr. Hill regularly leads workshops and retreats at InsightLA, Blue Spirit Costa Rica, Mindful Heart Programs, Yoga Soup and PESI Conintuing Education.

Instagram
YouTube
Podcast
Website

Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

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The Undervalued Power of Attachment Styles in Relationships with Dr. Stan Tatkin Dec 05, 2023

Show notes

Get ready for a transformative journey into the world of relationships with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a renowned expert in human behavior and relationships. In our discussion, we explore the critical role of attachment styles and their significant influence on relationships. We delve into the challenges commonly faced in relationships, focusing on how stress-induced reactions, rather than the issues themselves, escalate conflicts.

Our conversation with Dr. Tatkin also covers the complex dynamics of differing relationship structures, examining the principles of honesty and mutual agreement essential for relationship success. We discuss the biological aspects of attachment and how they can be misconstrued as love, as well as the impact of children on a relationship.

Further, Dr. Tatkin sheds light on the "fish bowl effect" and its effect on relationships, revealing how our childhood experiences shape our attachment styles and influence our behavior as adults. We critically analyze the behaviors of people who tend to either cling or distance themselves in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and resilience in developing secure, healthy relationships.

In a vital part of our discussion, Dr. Tatkin introduces the concept of secure functioning in relationships. This involves establishing social contracts and agreements to reduce stress and foster harmony and safety between spouses. We delve into the significance of shared principles, mutual respect, joint decision-making, and embracing each other's differences. This enlightening conversation offers valuable insights and practical advice for anyone seeking to understand their attachment style and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Join us for these invaluable insights from Dr. Tatkin, and don't miss the chance to enhance your understanding and connection in your relationship. Let's dive in!
Today's Guest: Dr. Stan Tatkin
Dr. Tatkin is an expert on human behavior and relationships and can speak on all topics related to relationships, dating, marriage, love, intimacy, and mental well-being. He speaks and teaches around the world on how to understand, create, and support secure-functioning relationships, along with authoring six bestselling books, and training thousands of therapists around the world.

Dr. Tatkin's TEDx Talk
Get Dr. Tatkin's book!
The PACT Institute

Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a review!

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Overcoming Denial and Betrayal in Relationships with Dr. Jane Greer Nov 28, 2023

Show notes

Do you ever feel like you're blind to your own actions? Or maybe you're caught in a pattern of self-blame and denial in your relationships. I had the privilege of sitting down with Dr. Jane Greer, renowned author of "Am I Lying to Myself? How to Overcome Denial and See the Truth," to discuss these very issues. Together, we shed light on denial as a defense mechanism, how it can distort our reality and ultimately lead to betrayal in relationships. Dr. Greer's expertise helped us explore the intricate dynamics of setting boundaries, dealing with demanders, and navigating the challenging path of overcoming betrayal.
We offered insights on navigating these difficult issues and moving towards a healing path. So, take a seat, open your mind, and join us on this journey of overcoming denial and betrayal in relationships. Let's dive in!
Dr. Jane Greer's bio:
"I am a Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychotherapist, Author, and Radio Host of the Doctor On Call Show at healthylife.net featuring Shrink Wrap, Pop Psych, and Let’s Talk Sex: conversations about love, work and life. My Shrink Wrap brand focuses on the trials and triumphs of relationships, with a spotlight on what we can learn from the celebrities.
I have been a prominent national authority appearing on numerous television shows including Oprah, The Today Show, The Early Show, CBS News, Dateline, The View, Good Day New York, CNN News, Anderson Cooper 360, and Fox News. I have contributed to newspapers and magazines such as The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The Chicago Tribune, and I have been featured in People, US Weekly, In Touch, Cosmopolitan, Self, and Life & Style.
I was a contributing editor writing the "Let's Talk Sex Column" for Redbook Magazine and am a blogger for Psychologytoday.com and Brides.com.
My newest book, “AM I LYING TO MYSELF? How To Overcome Denial and See The Truth” is now available."
LINKS:
Facebook

Instagram

Website

Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a review!

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

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Mastering the Art of Communication with Jefferson Fisher Nov 21, 2023

Show notes

Ever wondered how to turn a heated argument into a productive discussion? This episode promises to decode the art of communication with our special guest, Jefferson Fisher, a lawyer, acclaimed for his practical advice on effective communication. From his journey transitioning from law to social media, we uncover the power of dialogue, insightful phrases, and strategies to navigate conversations with not just colleagues, but also children and spouses.
Dive into the world of conflict management, guided by the experiences of our guest, raised amidst a family of attorneys. Discover how a calm demeanor and a lower voice can de-escalate tense situations. The emphasis here is on how communication positively impacts relationships and conflict resolution. As we shift gears, we plunge into the realms of AI, the responsibility of voicing opinions in the social media space, and the art of parenting with effective communication principles.
Each chapter of this conversation is a treasure trove of communication wisdom, from understanding others' perspectives to setting clear goals and boundaries. The episode culminates with three key takeaways for having productive arguments and conversations, and Jefferson Fisher's enlightening inputs on these strategies. This episode isn't just a podcast, it's a masterclass in communication. So, lend us your ears, take notes, and transform your conversations. Remember to share this episode and leave a review to help us grow. Let's dive in!
Today's Guest: Jefferson Fisher
Jefferson's mission is to revolutionize the legal landscape by creating a transparent and technologically advanced law firm that prioritizes client advocacy. With an unwavering commitment to client-centered approaches, he emphasizes the value of teaching clients to argue less and communicate more effectively.

Today, we'll explore Jefferson's insights on teaching clients to engage in productive conversations, especially with loved ones. We'll also delve into the profound impact of finding one's purpose, drawing from Jefferson's own journey. Join us as we uncover the secrets to better communication, personal growth, and purpose-driven living.

Website: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/
Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships

Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a review!

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