The Topical

Latest Episodes:

Town Council Votes To Rename Statue Of Robert E. Lee Aug 03, 2020

Show notes

Hear why residents of Bedford, VA believe now is the right time to change the name of the 14-foot-tall Confederate statue.

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Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredging Lake Jul 31, 2020

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Police in Franklin Country, IL have called off their search for missing 12-year-old Brittany Morel after reeling in what they believe to be at least a 20-pounder, which would make it the largest bass ever hooked on Rend Lake.

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Jimmy Carter Added To Mount Rushmore After Becoming 5th Former President To Bowl Perfect 300 Jul 30, 2020

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Hear how Carter managed to pull off the amazing feat during an official PBA-certified game two weeks ago, earning his face a coveted spot on the massive stone structure.

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Fisher-Price Announces Company Has Grown Out Of Making Stupid Toys For Babies Jul 29, 2020

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They want to make cool toys for big kids, like video games and airsoft guns. But is the company best known for making rattles and corn poppers mature enough to make the leap?

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U.S. Requires Hurricanes To Quarantine For 2 Weeks Before Traveling To Other States Along Coastline Jul 28, 2020

Show notes

The NOAA is ordering all tropical cyclones to storm in place for a minimum of 14 days before moving on to destroy other parts of the country.

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Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue Fucking Over Americans Jul 27, 2020

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OPR has the latest on the One Percent’s shining commitment to oppress the powerless, even in the face of economic uncertainty during the pandemic.

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Study Finds Couples Who Live With Moldering Corpse Of Mother Having Less Sex Jul 24, 2020

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More couples are being forced to move in with other family members to cut costs, but how is it affecting their sex life? Hear how residing along the putrefying remains of Mother can result in a noticeable down turn in your desire to get it on with your partner.

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Frustrated Mayors Demand Constituents Stop Paying Such Close Attention To Everything They Do Jul 23, 2020

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In the wake of an unprecedented health crisis and mass protests against police brutality, all eyes are on local government officials to keep our communities safe. Hear just how sick and tired mayors across the country are getting of having every little decision they make be held under a goddamn magnifying glass.

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Heavily Armed Fans Guard Statue Of Yogi Bear In Case It Turns Out He Supported Confederacy Jul 22, 2020

Show notes

Confederate monuments continue to be dismantled across the country, but not without some resistance. Hear how one armed group of counter-protestors—dubbed the Jellystone Militia—are standing by to protect a sculpture of their favorite cartoon bear.

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CDC Horrified After Discovering Existence Of Thousands Of Public Pools Jul 21, 2020

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says they’ve discovered evidence of these disease vectors in nearly every city in the nation. Hear just how horrified they were to learn of the existence of these germ-infested public wells of moisture.

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