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    Comedy

    The Topical

    The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It’s using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

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    Copyright: © The Onion

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    Latest Episodes:
    The Final Episode Of The Topical May 20, 2021
    Show notes

    Leslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time.

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    Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce Feb 05, 2021
    Show notes

    Hear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances.

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    Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird Feb 04, 2021
    Show notes

    It looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it.

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    Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees Feb 03, 2021
    Show notes

    Hear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound.

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    Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted Feb 02, 2021
    Show notes

    Plus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners.

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    Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God Feb 01, 2021
    Show notes

    It’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God.

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    Nation’s Hypnotists Announce You Are Now Under Their Command Jan 29, 2021
    Show notes

    Hear why, when they snap their fingers, you will make the sound a donkey makes.

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    Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan Jan 28, 2021
    Show notes

    Hear why authorities now believe the suspect stalked the 4-year-old buck for several hours before shooting him in the chest.

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    Dept. Of Homeland Security: ‘Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?’ Jan 27, 2021
    Show notes

    Hear why scrambling DHS officials are calling the missing folder “no big deal,” but they would really like to find it.

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    Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids Jan 26, 2021
    Show notes

    And they weren’t even playing with it right. Hear why these dead children apparently thought it would be a good idea to ruin the fun for everyone else.

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    1 2 3 26 Next

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