Stay ConnectedTIRED OF THE LIES AND THE SPIN perpetuated in the culture about men and women, sex and love, marriage and motherhood? If so, get ready to hear hard-hitting truths that will make you cry out “Yes! Finally someone tells it like it is!”
In her signature no-nonsense style, author and relationship coach Suzanne Venker offers support, motivation, and countercultural guidance on how to prioritize love and family and build strong relationships at home.
Copyright: © suzanne venker
Whom we choose to marry, and how that marriage fares, has the single greatest effect on our happiness and well-being than anything else we do. The outcome of that singular decision will dictate the entire course of your future. What sense does it make, then, to NOT prioritize it?
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:15 Who we marry and how that marriage fares has the single greatest effect on our happiness and well being than anything else we do
2:35 Your marriage has to come first, and you have to be a team
3:30 Suzanne reads an entitled, “ Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love”
6:20 Where are the parents?
7:50 For millennials, marriage is viewed as a capstone, rather than a cornerstone, of their life
11:00 When you live together with your boyfriend/girlfriend and prioritize your respective careers, it makes it harder to combine your lives as a married couple
12:35 The cohab mindset leads to poor preparation for marriage and diminishes happiness by “sliding into marriage”
15:45 Whether it’s 1971 or 2021, most mothers step out of the workforce at a far greater rate than fathers
Suzanne discusses two money non-negotiables for having a strong marriage.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 Too many modern couples entering marriage with the same mentality they had when they were dating (“yours” and “mine”)
5:00 Separate accounts cause problems in marriage
9:45 Sex differences: The difference between a husband's income and a wife’s income
11:00 Married women typically earn for different reasons (autonomy, extra spending money) than married men do
13:30 You have to be on a budget and be on the same team
13:45 If you spend more than your husband earns, you're undermining the marriage
17:30 If a wife earns significantly more than her husband, it undermines the marriage
18:00 If you want to build something together you have to think as “we”/ “ours”
Suzanne tells the truth about women’s fertility, as opposed to the watered down version we get from the culture.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:10 Modern women are not aware of the truth about their fertility
4:05 You have to account for the process in what is involved in trying to have a family.
8:25 On average, a woman under 35 years old is more likely to conceive
10:00 Here are some examples of women who bought the cultural script and had trouble getting pregnant
12:10 - Know your body, Ladies!
2:00 My boyfriend won’t say “I love you” and is not expressive or open to talk about next steps for the future
5:00 My son is asking me to open a bank account in my own name to save money because he is dating a girl who inherited money and lives at home. This girl wants to live with my son, in a house she owns, and have him pay half the bills. He wants to save because he is afraid that “when she kicks him out” he’ll be able to afford to set himself up, etc. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
10:00 I’m newly married to a great guy, but I'm struggling with where we live. We want to start having children but there is no community where we live. What should I do?
15:35 Help! I feel guilty for wanting to step out of the workforce to raise children.
20:15 What is your take on Victoria’s Secret shifting their marketing approach to showcasing overweight women?
22:45 How do I go into a marriage-minded relationship when the woman will be making more money than me?
28:15 My wife and I are going on 16 years of marriage and having trouble, my wife won’t go to counseling. Is there any hope?
Suzanne discusses fives reasons women don't get what they need from their man.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:00 Reason #1: They have their guard up
9:55 Reason #2: They micromanage.
11:10 Reason #3: They can't “let go” and learn to receive.
14:00 Reason #4: They complain and/or nag.
15:15 Reason #5: They assume the worst.
Suzanne reads evolutionary biologists Bret Weinstein's and Heather Heying's article, "An Evolutionary Biologist's Guide to Finding Love in the 21st Century" and provides the roadmap needed to get men and women back on track.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 Suzanne reads an article from Daily Wire
4:50 The entire issue (especially regarding sex) is largely due to birth control
8:48 Birth control rewrote the rules of human mature and wrecked the sexual logic that governed the system
10:10 Babies are best raised by a team (mother and father) and extended family
11:00 Men and women have different reasons and requirements for choosing a spouse
13:00 Sex used to be thrilling because it was scarce, and the stakes were high
14:00 Women go along with the cultural narrative of casual sex even though it goes against their natural tendencies to be selective and want commitment
15:50 A woman who demands commitment competes for male attention alongside every woman who does not
16:30 For men, casual sex is the “sweetest deal in the universe”
20:29 The dating landscape is a minefield with no guardrails
22:15 Suzanne reads comments from men
Once upon a time, women were groomed to be wives and mothers, and they gave little to no thought to having a career.
Today, women are groomed to become career women and to give little to no thought to marriage and children.
The former option is long gone, never to return. And the second option is just as bad. Fortunately, there’s an Option 3.
Here are 4 things young women need to consider when mapping out their lives if they want to achieve genuine work-life balance:
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:25 In previous generations, raising a family was a taxing, all-consuming endeavor
5:40 “Work/Life” balance does not meaning doing everything you want simultaneously
6:30 There is no highly successful person (a lot of money or a lot of clout) whose life is NOT out of balance
7:10 Big careers are all consuming
7:50 If you want a balanced life, the only alternative is to accept the trade-offs and not compare your life to anyone else’s
10:45 Where do you want to be geographically? Lifestyle?
13:40 Doing something later doesn’t translate to doing something better
15:00 Know who to listen to and who NOT to listen to when it comes to the issue of work/family balance
19:00 The idea that kids are resilient and that mothers should not feel guilt are pervasive and massive lies
20:28 Guilt is a signal feeling which women should pay attention to
22:45 Understand what children need and what is needed of you as a mother
27:10 After Covid, many mothers are choosing NOT to go back to work
Referring to an article in the Wall Street Journal entitled "Women Still Do More of the Housework. Here's How to Share the Load," Suzanne discusses why the mental load of motherhood is not a social construct but a matter of sheer biology.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:50 The “50/50” marriage does not take into account the biological leanings of men and women
4:55 Playing tit for tat in a marriage will KILL a marriage
5:00 There's a completely different way to manage childcare and housework
5:20 If there’s respect in a marriage, it shouldn't matter who does what
5:35 Whomever is home more does more at home
6:10 If both husband and wife are pursuing demanding careers and taking care of a family, the opportunity for conflict escalates
6:35 It is women who take on the mental load of motherhood
8:15 It is a biological fact that women are more invested in the details of running a home
10:00 You want your husband to do things the way you want them done, but men don't think like women!
10:44 Couples who divvy up the breadwinning/household tasks do not tend to keep score and thus have fewer conflicts
11:40 No matter how you plan your time, life will rarely run smoothly. The real enemy is time.
𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱) 𝗡𝗢𝗪: https://amzn.to/38naFOL
Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey!
𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
A new documentary about the student loan crisis, entitled “Borrowed Future,” will stream on October 14th. Suzanne discusses how this crisis is undermining love and family formation—and why, with a shift of one's mindset, it doesn't have to.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 Student loan debt is affecting a couple's availability to marry and have kids
4:50 Debt is undermining marriages and keeping couples from being successful
5:30 We've sold student debt without making young people aware of how it affects their future
6:00 Marriage is on the decline due to MONEY issues - “We can't afford to get married!”
7:40 Couples can't succeed in getting out of debt if they're not on the same page
10:25 When you do not combine finances and do not get on the same page financially, you are essentially saying you do not trust your spouse
13:55 Parents of should not encourage their kids to get into student loan debt
14:45 It does NOT matter where you get your degree
America has become a nation with far too many narcissistic, self-entitled, excuse-making moaners who simply refuse to own their problems and the subsequent solutions.
You may have heard people make excuses for themselves, or maybe you’ve even said some of these things yourself. Many of these have been served up on silver platters by psychologists and lawyers:
But it wasn’t always this way. Here to talk w us about this massive phenomenon that has infected America is Dr. Brian Russell. Brian is a psychologist, attorney, and author of the book Stop Moaning, Start Owning: How Entitlement is Ruining America and How Personal Responsibility Can Fix It.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:40 Personal responsibility has drifted with increasing inertia to an age of entitlement with divorce, remarriage, parental abandonment, consumer debt/national debt, etc.
7:30 Dr. Russell and Suzanne discuss no-fault divorce laws
9:40 With private school, you have commonality among parents about education
11:20 You can send your kids to Catholic schools for a very reasonable price
12:00 Parents today are not around, or they are very self absorbed
14:00 Technology has taken over for kids, and parents have let it happen
16:00 Yours kids do not care if you’re “happy” or not
18:15 When you walk down the aisle, your mission should be to help that other person
20:00 People who chase happiness as a feeling are doomed to never catch it in a sustained way
24:40 Emotions, even negative ones, have purpose
28:00 Feminism and hurt both men and women; we are snuffing out nature in each sex
29:55 The difference between making “value judgements” vs. “being judgmental”
31:10 When you take away social consequences, it's dangerous
33:45 It is a parent’s job to set boundaries and say “no”
38:50 The world does not “owe” you and you are not “entitled” to much
40:10 Dr. Russell talks about the “deadly vows” series he was involved in
43:00 Infidelity, financial problems and blending families are typically the root causes of spousal murder
45:40 The cure
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