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*DISCLAIMER* This episode contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears 80. Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George **Transcription Below** Zephaniah 3:17 NIV “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Vickie L. George, M.Ed., M.S., LMFT, LPC, CST is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Therapist, and is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor, an Approved Clinical Supervisor (ACS) by CCE of the NBCC, and a Certified Professional Counselor Supervisor (CPCS) by the State of Georgia. She has a Master’s degree in counseling from Georgia State University, a Master’s degree in Christian Psychological Integration with a specialization in Sex Therapy from Richmont Graduate University (formerly the Psychological Studies Institute), and also has completed post-graduate work in marriage and family therapy training at the University of Georgia and training in supervision. Vickie has been counseling, teaching and consulting with several organizations since opening her practice in 1984. During her 30 plus years, she has gained extensive experience as she has helped clients work through difficult issues such as couple problems, sexual problems, addiction, abuse, women's issues, and examining spiritual issues. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Vickie’s Website Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie The New Codependency by Melody Beattie It Will Never Happen to Me by Claudia Black Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sam Glenn Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. For nearly three decades, award-winning speaker and author Sam Glenn has been captivating audiences of every size from every industry with his inspirational, art-based talks that focus on recharging attitudes for success. To learn more about Sam's speeches, books, and art, visit samglenn.com. We have Vickie George back as our returning guest. Last time we had the opportunity to chat, we discussed gender differences and conflict in relationships. And that's an episode you don't want to miss. And now we're back together to discuss hormones, codependent relationships, and how to understand our spouse's different manifestations of sexual desire in marriage. [00:01:19] Here's our chat. Welcome back today, Vickie. Vickie George: Oh, it's good to be back. Laura Dugger: Do you mind just giving us a glimpse into who you are? Vickie George: Well, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor, and a certified sex therapist. I'm also an approved supervisor. So a great deal of my life and practice is to the passion of all three of those. I have about 30% of my practice where I am supervising therapists both in training in grad school, post-grad, and also therapists who may be also licensed. Mentoring the next generation of therapists is extremely important to me and a passion of mine. I want to make sure that I do that well and that the next generation is able to pass on the important things that make marriage and family and relationship therapy so important in a world that feels very disconnected at times or not relational. [00:02:29] The connecting is more at each other rather than with each other. Laura Dugger: So good. For anybody who isn't aware of this, you were my supervisor in graduate school and taught me so much. And you continue to just be available, willing to answer questions. So I really appreciate getting to connect with you again today. Vickie George: Yeah. It's a delight to have you back in my office. Well, and I work a lot, not only with couples, but I work a lot with trauma and also addiction. So all of those are loves of mine in the field. It is complex and that is the type of thing that I like working with. Because the more complex it is, the more the joy as they unpack and get healing in the many complex areas where there may be wounding or deprivation, etc. Laura Dugger: Let's just dive right in. We often hear hormones have a big effect on us, but can you explain further how they specifically affect our mood, sleep, and sex life? [00:03:38] Vickie George: They affect all of it. That's the bottom line. And therein lies why as you age or menopause or andropause for men, as that lessens then mood can get more swinging-like, sleep problems because hormones bathe the brain and then therefore the body in what it needs for a sense of calm or arousal. It affects how well we think. That's why, you know, people will laugh about menopause brain because literally it's not being bathed as much so memory will get iffy at times. It affects everything from how you are able to have muscle mass, those are just a few things. Some of that you've probably heard on television, you know, promoting certain things that are helpful. Part of that, yes, can be done through medicine. [00:04:45] But it's really important not only to know how they're needed in the body, but also that they need to be in the correct ratio in the body so that when you're younger, if things are not going well or whatever, it may be a hormone problem in men and women. So going and having a complete physical to see what hormone levels are and are you in the average range and are the ratio of all three of the main hormones that all men and women have which is estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone. They have to be in the correct ratio. So an over or an under of any of those will affect the person as well in a negative way. Laura Dugger: You mentioned that medication may help with some of that, but is it possible in any other way for us to help harness our hormones or help that ratio be in the correct relationship? [00:05:47] Vickie George: Well, first of all, everything is interrelated and holistic. Everything from neurotransmitters that are in the body, especially that you hear about in the brain, but also neurotransmitters like serotonin is in the digestive area. And they all interconnect with each other. For instance, serotonin is connected with estrogen and is almost a synthesis. That's why sometimes when women who have hormonal issues may go on something like an SSRI, which is an antidepressant, a low dosage of that will affect the serotonin level as well as the estrogen so that they feel better. Of course, what are things that we know that help? Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, watching sugar intake, exercise. One of the things that we have said for a very long time is 45 minutes of intense aerobic activity four times a week is equal to 20 milligrams of generic Prozac. [00:06:53] Of what it does in changing the structure of the brain and helping promote Serotonin in the brain, which of course is connected with estrogen indirectly. And there are things that you can take over the counter that can be helpful. But you want to talk with your healthcare provider about that especially if like naturopathic type of things that some people are okay with other people or not. It's a personal choice. Certain things... GABA, that helps, 5-HTP are things that help with calming, and all of those together. Laura Dugger: And we're throwing out a lot of terms here. Maybe we should back it up and we'll unpack a few of these hormones and then even serotonin. How would a listener know what serotonin does for them or how they would have a measure of if it might be off in their body? Vickie George: Serotonin is part of what gives you a sense of calm and well-being. [00:07:56] That is how serotonin is used mostly in the body. I just saw some recent statistics that 52% of women at some point or another will have a shortage of serotonin. One of the things that we know is that women suffer more with depression. So seeing your doctor, seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist, those are avenues where you can talk to the experts about that. But if you are feeling sugar cravings, anxiety, depression, problems with sleep, those are some of the telltale signs that can be that serotonin may be off. Laura Dugger: That is really helpful. Can you do the same thing with the three main hormones? Just a little glimpse of what they do and how we know if they're out of whack. [00:08:56] Vickie George: Lack of estrogen in women, they really don't have any type of sexual desire very often. If they are estrogen dominant, which means that they don't have enough testosterone or progesterone, they can be very agitated, irritability, or whatever. So it's once again that too much or too little of anything. The same way with testosterone in men, if there is kind of a lethargy, or it will come out in lack of desire sometimes for sex, that can be a testosterone issue. Because anytime something is off, the first thing that you want to do is go and have a full panel done, having a complete physical check, and have a complete physical with all the blood work and hormones tested, thyroid tested, etc., those types of things to see. I mean some people can feel like they're depressed and they may just be having a problem with B12 which gives you energy or that you may not be metabolizing it. [00:10:09] So, not to get too complex, the bottom line is if you're not sure, visiting your doctor and having a complete physical where they do a lot of blood work for those types of things and see what the doctor says. One of the things that has come into my office is that people will have their tests done for hormones or thyroid and the doctor will say that they are in the normal range but it's in the low normal range. And low normal for lots of people is actually low. So having hormones or thyroid, etc. that is in the mid-range is really what's helpful for overall health, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, etc. Laura Dugger: And progesterone is one that we don't hear about as much. So is there anything that would alert us if ours is off? [00:11:08] Vickie George: It's a misunderstood hormone. It's considered, quote-unquote, the prickly hormone in one sense that you can be irritable or agitated with it, but it also has its benefit in balancing out the others. So once again, if there's too much of it, the prickly or whatever, but where there is a deficit of it, then you will run into some health issues. So it's needed to balance the body out. A lot of times progesterone therapy will be used to balance these out or even in menopause. That's why talking to your health care professional, somebody that you believe really knows what they're talking about... You know, sometimes you just have to find who works best for you. Laura Dugger: Another obstacle that many women face is negative body image. How does that affect their level of enjoyment and freedom in the bedroom? Vickie George: It affects it a great deal. [00:12:08] You're going to have to come to having an acceptance about your body. Now, that's easier said than done, given the nature of our society, how skinny and everything is championed, how you are only as good as you look so often is purported in Hollywood and everywhere else. So it is tough for lots of women to accept that, but it needs to be a work in progress. The other thing is, are you being not okay with your body because of you? What messages did you get? Where did this come from? Are you being perfectionistic? Because 100% of all women have some quote-unquote body issues, something on their body that they don't like. [00:13:09] The other thing is when you ask men, they like a woman who takes care of themselves. That does not mean they have to be a size 2. They just like a woman who works at trying to take care of herself physically. She does not have to look like something off of television. The other thing that's a total shocker for most women is that most men do not notice 10 additional pounds. They do not. And women will g…
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