The Carvery with Alex Dorr

Latest Episodes:

Tips for Overcoming a Super Negative Person at Work Jan 02, 2019

Show notes

When working with a client earlier this year I was told about a somewhat toxic situation that happened between a manager and a large number of employees that were accusing her of being basically the most negative person ever.

By the end of the situation, the manager who'd been considered negative had left the organization and it seemed as if a large number of employees had really teamed together and built some rapport over the fact that they "survived" the negativity of this person.

This story inspired me to discuss, on this episode, some very important concepts about human behavior we often see in companies we work with when the ego is out to play and causing a lot of chaos in our teams.

While this may seem like a more specific case, this idea of how much drama can be caused when the ego is out to play and unchecked is a great lesson for us all to learn from and be aware of in our day-to-day interactions.

So if you are someone wondering:

How to deal with someone who is negative
What can I do to be less negative
What to do with a negative manager
How to overcome a negative work culture
How to manage egos

Then this episode will have some great ideas for you to think about.

To be honest, I didn't think this was one of my best episodes that I'd done initially but after the edit I truly think it is one of my best that addresses a simple yet all to common situation when it comes to negativity with those around you.

Hope you enjoy. Thank you for your time and ears.

Excited to kick off 2019 and another year of this journey!

Much love, Alex

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

How to Start Your Speaking Career Dec 14, 2018

Show notes

Being a speaker is something so many people connect with me on to hear my story on how I got started and advice for getting started themselves. After my almost 4 years as a speaker and learning directly from New York Times Bestselling Author, Cy Wakeman, who has built a successful speaking business over the last 20 years, I wanted to share all of my learnings with you!

On this podcast episode, I speak with Marcus Chambers about how he can get started with his speaking career. Marcus has recently graduated from the University of Oregon and has been signed by Nike as a track and field athlete. He is an Olympic hopeful and an incredible guy who has an electric spirit and a hunger to share his story and become a speaker.

I hope this information gives you some great ideas and tips for getting started on your journey.

In this podcast we cover:

My story of getting started speaking 4 years ago
My best tips for getting your first few speeches
Best-practices for getting momentum to get your name out there
How to get more testimonials after your speeches to build credibility
How to build out your speech
Best practices I've found in models to present your information
How to learn from the best speakers in the industry
And much more!

I think I've now had 10+ meetings on people that are interested in sharing their story through the platform of a live stage. This call is your reference to what I typically talk about in those meetings!

Always happy to connect if I am in your city to grab a coffee an discuss further.

I hope you enjoy and find this information helpful!

Much love. Alex

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

Top 5 Common Mistakes When Starting to Lead and Live Reality-Based Dec 05, 2018

Show notes

The Reality-Based Leadership philosophy really resonates for so many people. It reveals some universal truths and actions steps to start living a drama-free life both at work and at home. However, the ego and the human condition can play tricks on us and often causes some common challenges when first starting to try out the techniques and ideas. Be aware of these as you begin your journey!

I feel this is one of the most important episodes I've created to date because if you are starting to believe that you "get it" and others don't when it comes to ditching the drama, you are actually being introduced to the next evolution of your ego that returns you back to judging and not helping.

That ego is so sophisticated.

This episode is meant to streamline you through the next phase of development as you are practicing the Reality-Based Leadership philosophy and feeling what it is like to have less drama in your life. This will help you sustain that momentum so far!

Understanding these 5+ common mistakes that people run into once becoming fans and practitioners of the philosophy will help you jump the next level of drama and emotional expensiveness you can get into.

So give these some good thought, attention and self-reflection as you continue your learning.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

How to Solve a Lack of Buy-in in 20 Minutes Nov 19, 2018

Show notes

I had to jump in on this viral clip that went out from a college football player that was upset about a "lack of buy-in" that was hurting their team.

So many athletes and coaches talk about the importance of buy-in of all involved in order for a team to be successful. The problem, however, is that buy-in has remained an illusion and unteachable for so many.

Most struggle to fully buy-in, leaders get frustrated because others buy-in and it remains an ambiguous and confusing concept. The video (you can watch the video version here) I created and now, this podcast episode, clears all of that up by bringing in the research on what buy-in truly is, why it is so crucial to success of teams and leaving you with 2 important tools to ensure that buy-in happens with your teams.

I love jumping on to these videos that go viral of passionate athletes that are struggling with cultivating high-states of accountability on their teams and this one was juicy for our research on ditching the drama around buy-in to help out.

So for all of my athletes, coaches and parents of athletes out there - I'd love for you to pass this on with ANYONE you think it could help. EVERY single team at any level I work with talks extensively about the importance of buy-in, but they do not know specifically how to teach it and ensure that it is happening. This episode can be a resource to clarify all of that moving forward.

For those in the corporate space you will find some great lessons from this example as well.

If you loved this clip, I broke down another amazing speech from a North Carolina college basketball player that was given an amazing call to greatness that changed the entire course of his career here. This video helps you understand the brain science and why that was such a powerful moment as well!

Topics covered in the episode are:

What does it mean to TRULY buy-in to a team, program or organization?
Why is their "No Third Option" when it comes to buying in?
What to do if some people just don't know any better about why buy-in is important?
Tools to facilitate individuals to choose to buy-in or not
The best ways to set standards and get clear on "are you in or are you out?" when it comes to buy-in
How the 4 factors of accountability can helps us understand why it is impossible to "hold people accountable" that are never TRULY committed in the first place.
Why conditions on our buy-in leave us never fully committed and frustrated with our experience.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

How to Learn Faster, Better and Uglier with Trev Ragan Oct 31, 2018

Show notes

Everyone is a learner and everyone wants to get better at something. The problem is that we haven't yet utilized the research when it comes to learning in the best way. Trevor Ragan is on a mission to magnify the best research out there to make us all better learners.

In this podcast, Trev and I talk about ditching the drama from the learning process to open up the natural learner in all of us.

Trev speaks across the country on the topic and has started a movement of those open to learning by "training ugly."

For more on Trev's bio click here. He's a beast out there speaking on all things learning and spreading the word!

We let this one flow a bit and cover so many overlapping topics of how drama gets in the way of learning and event taking steps outside of our comfort zone.

You'll find great ideas about:

What is the difference between a zoo tiger and jungle tiger when it
comes to learning?
Comfort Zones
Recognizing Jungle Tiger Moments
The four triggers of fear that try to stop us from learning
Fear
How to recognize and move beyond fear
Practical questions to tune into self-doubt and limitations
What makes a bad, good and great learner?
How does accountability fit in with learning
The resistance to change and how it affects learning and growth
Feedback and how it ties into learning
How to give and receive feedback and not miss the learning
Tips to overcome negative feedback you receive
We make up the word "zoo justification"
How to help your team learn more and take on jungle tiger moments
Why being a translator of research is so powerful
Why "robbing reps" prevents others from learning
The four factors of learning from a mindset of accountability
How to understand resilience and be more resilient

His newest video he mentioned How to Build a Growth Mindset:
https://youtu.be/V7XjFTrPl6o

How to Overcome Fear:
https://youtu.be/qKCJbDOmuTI

A Study on Praise and Mindsets:
https://youtu.be/NWv1VdDeoRY

Growth Mindset Introduction
https://youtu.be/75GFzikmRY0

Learning - How it Works & How to Do it Better
https://youtu.be/u9WpHHJz5Dc

You can connect with me and continue the discussion here as well:
Instagram
My Facebook
Twitter
Snapchat | Alex Dorr

Be sure to give Trev some love and let him know that our podcast brought you to his work! He is @trainugly across platforms.

Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Youtube

3 Ways to Stop People From Venting (Nicely) Oct 22, 2018

Show notes

We dove deep on venting and whether it is helpful or not in the workplace.

As we discussed, an attendee in one of my sessions wanted to know our best ways to stop the venting, but to do it nicely where it doesn't hurt the person's feelings AND doesn't look like you are taking the side of the other person, group or department involved. Here are my 3 best suggestions for that situation!

This is always a sensitive subject in most workplaces because many have been allowed to vent or they may be chronic venters at their organization.

In fact, some egos get a little defensive when we share the research that venting is just the ego's way of avoiding self-reflection and sharing it's version of the story. That act of avoiding self-reflection is what most people don't realize is all that is keeping the ego alive in that moment. One great coaching question or moment in "What could I do to help?" or "What do I actually know for sure?" just might put the ego that is complaining and venting to sleep and get us accountable.

Why venting feels good in the moment, I promise you accountability, toggle-switching to your high-self and having impact in the situation feels WAAAY better.

So for those that want to carve away the amount of time and energy you spend each week venting or listening to those who are venting. This is the episode for you!

My 3 best ways to free up time, hear less complaining and all doing so in the most respectful way possible.

Can't wait to hear how this works for you!

So if you are someone wondering:

How do I stop someone from venting?
Is venting good for me?
Does everyone need time to vent?
Am I allowed to share feelings at work?
Nice ways to deal with venting
How to stop people from complaining

Or anything along those lines - this podcast will get you started!

I talked about the technique for editing other people's stories in the first tip...Grab that for free below!

Here is a link to our [Edit Your Story tool][1]

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
[Twitter][2]
[Instagram][3]
[Facebook][4]

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my [YouTube Channel][5].

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my [Speaker's Page here][6] to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

What if Leadership is Making Poor Decisions Oct 09, 2018

Show notes

Ever find yourself confused of decisions by leadership? Many share with me that the organization seems to have no idea what is really going on and are even making poor decisions. This episode will open up some freedom to know how to move forward to succeed anyway.

So often in my speaking engagements people get through about the first half of training and the content is really resonating with them. They truly understand the power of personal accountability and what happens when we can stay clean in our thinking and not argue with reality. They even let me know that their team members are always doing this and then they drop the big question...

What if WE get it, but it seems as if LEADERSHIP doesn't. Like they just seem to be making the worst decisions and even though we are doing all of this work, they don't like to consult us on where to take the company.

And this introduces the next evolution of our ego. Where we believe we got it and nobody else does.

I've been here before. It is as draining as it is confusing.

But this question is directly where the next level of freedom lies.

So let's find a better way to move forward!

In this episode, I discuss how to get clear on what is happening when you believe that leadership is making poor decisions.

You'll soon understand how the ego creates stories about those that are letting us know how the organization is trying to stay competitive and how we respond to this news - ESPECIALLY if it gets us out of our comfort zone.

You'll also learn about the 3 main roles we can play at work and how by understanding those roles we can quickly conserve energy that would be lost in getting frustrated with decisions we aren't supposed to be involved in.

Lastly, once we clear up how you can quickly settle into the most high-value place during these confusing times I will give you a couple of my best strategies on how to actually add impact with expertise and not opinions.

Thank you again for following along!

Here is a link to our Edit Your Story tool to get you started on noticing when you are stressed or frustrated and to better tune into your thoughts. This is the introduction to unlocking so much in your life.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page here to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

When Someone Constantly Frustrates You at Work Sep 24, 2018

Show notes

One of the most common questions we get in sessions boils down to "How can I change another?" So many of us are frustrated with a colleague who consistently doesn't do what they say they are going to do. They may even consistently let us down.

In this episode, I answer a question from a session of mine when someone brings up that they are having a constant issue with someone they work with. With that question in mind, I dove deep into the philosophy to give you our best tips for navigating this all-too-common challenge for so many people.

This is one of the most common questions I hear during my speaking engagements during Q&A and it boils down to basically a question around "How can I change another?" This is such a setup question because you cannot actually change another. You can try some of the techniques I mentioned here to bypass their ego and you can try to stop the co-creation cycle yourself and limit your judgement, but you cannot change another.

By using some of the tools I mention in this podcast you do what you can actually do in this situation that would be productive - you can stay at a non-judgement, high-level of accountability yourself AND you can stop enabling some of the behavior of the other person.

This ability to stop enabling actually may help reality and natural consequences do it's own work to eventually lead to a better result.

So if you are someone wondering:

How to deal with a tough co-worker?
What if someone constantly frustrates me?
What if someone is consistently resistant?
How to get someone to listen?
How to get someone to do what I want them to do at work?
Tips for solving conflict at work

Or anything similar! This podcast will have some great ideas for you.

I talked a bunch about this idea of Stop Judging and Start Helping and the Edit Your Story tool below is the foundation for learning that great mental process to carve away drama. Grab that for free below!

Here is a link to our Edit Your Story tool to get you started on noticing when you are stressed or frustrated and to better tune into your thoughts.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page here to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

How Stories Cause Suffering, Create Identities and Limit Our Experiences Sep 03, 2018

Show notes

Who would you be without your story?

This was the central question in a recent 9-day retreat I experienced and what a journey it took me on! In this episode, I share how I dove deeper into the power of our unquestioned stories and how they create suffering in our lives and eventually solidify into identities that can keep us from being our authentic selves that can experience so many amazing things in the world.

This self-reflection was me trying to articulate how much I thought I understood this universal principle of our suffering being optional, only to discover I have so much more to work left to do in understanding my own ego and its games.

Over the last month or so since the retreat I have been journaling and looking deeper at these unquestioned stories and how they have unknowingly settled into identities. By returning to that anchor of "Who would I be without the story I'm believing?" I have discovered so many ways in which I can experience the world from a different perspective with a new open mind. This has been so rewarding!

I've learned that as you continue to slowly dissolve some of these identities you become a more authentic you and move through the world with much less fear. It truly is another way to carve away drama to reveal our natural state of success and happiness.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

If you'd love for me to speak at your next event you can check out my Speaker's Page here to learn more.

Let's keep ditching the drama.

Can We Leave Work Even Each Day Jul 25, 2018

Show notes

I am fascinated by how many people report that they leave work completely drained each day with no energy left for families, friend or hobbies. What we've found in our research on drama is that it is not our daily jobs and tasks that exhaust us, it is all of the drama caused by poor mental processes and drama that we bring in to our jobs. This episode elaborates on what I mean by leaving work "even" and breaks down some counter-arguments I've encountered while out speaking on the topic with organizations.

I hope this episode opens your mind up to the idea that you don't need to follow the wave of "grass is greener" thinking when it comes to your job or career. We have found over and over that the same job that many were upset with the day before, can be a job they love after a subtle mindset shift and new understanding of how to navigate personal mental drama and the drama of others.

If you are interested in calculating your own Employee Value Equation to have a baseline of where you are at you can take our FREE assessment here.

This is also a great resource to start a dialogue with your team about the cost of drama when it comes to the true value we are adding to the cause. It can be a real eye-opener for some.

If you have any feedback or questions let's continue the discussion at any of the places below:
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

For more of my videos and behind-the-scenes footage of my keynotes and speaking engagements check out my YouTube Channel.

Let's keep ditching the drama.