The Art of Charm

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Fan Mail Fridays #7 Mar 21, 2015

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HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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385: Chris Taylor | Deliberate Choice: Going Beyond the Picket Fence Mar 16, 2015

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Curiosity is important at any age. "There is something interesting about every person you interact with." -Chris Taylor The Cheat Sheet: What is a squiggly career and why is it a good thing? If it ain't broke don't fix it: should you follow this old adage? What is the Stockdale Paradox and why is it so important to success? How to be selfish in a conversation, in a good way. The one question to ask to cut through all the BS and get you to your end result. And so much more... (video) Have you stopped to consider why you make the choices you make in life? Are they simply a matter of programming and societal influence, or do they come from your personal values? Here to explore those topics (and more) is Chris Taylor. Chris is the founder of Actionable Books and the author of Beyond the Picket Fence. He joins us to talk about the three types of choices, including deliberate choice, and the true ROI of curiosity (if there is any). We delve into a few other subjects too on episode 385 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Get 10% Off Onnit! (Direct Download) More About This Show: Over 6.5 years ago Chris founded Actionable Books, a web site with free summaries of books in the business, personal development and growth industries. Every month they publish 20 summaries of books and give that information away to the public, at no cost. Chris explains how he's created this as a business model and made a healthy living, as well as the role curiosity plays in success. He believes there is an ROI on curiosity and it should be explored while being coupled with drive and focus. When we explore unrelated areas of life, we often find breakthroughs and new insights we would never have found otherwise. But if we're always curious how do we balance that with enjoying where we're at in life and still maintain our drive to move forward? This is a fascinating question Chris sheds light on. There are three types of choices in life: unconscious, conscious and deliberate. The first, unconscious choice, is the type of choice we make that we don't even realize is a choice. We sign up for college because that's just what we do after finishing high school. Or we work 80 hours at our job because that's the way it's done. We don't think or explore another way of doing something, it's doesn't even occur to us that it is a choice that can be done in another way. The second is conscious choice. This is the type of choice where we do something because it's what is expected of us by society. We choose to work more hours because we want a certain type of car or we need to buy a house in a certain neighborhood; it's what we're expected to do so we make choices to make it happen. The third and final type of choice is deliberate choice. This is the topic of his book Beyond the Picket Fence and it's the type of choice we make based on our values and what's important to us in our lives. With these choices we are in tune with our values and how we want to live, how we want to spend our days. These choices are where we can balance enjoyment, contentedness with ambition and drive. With the deliberate choice we connect with what matters to us and chose from that space. Chris and I also talk about how to lean in and make a conversation great, how to find that special something in every person we talk to and how to ask for what you want in such a way that you get what you want, they get what they want AND they get something they didn't even know they wanted. Special thanks to Chris for making the deliberate choice to be here and thanks to you as well! We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS CHRIS TAYLOR! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Chris know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Chris on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Actionable Books' web siteActionable WorkshopsBeyond the Picket Fence, Chris' first bookThe 21st Century Workplace Podcast, Chris' podcast Chris Taylor on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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Fan Mail Fridays #6 Mar 13, 2015

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In this one: -Married guy who "doesn't need AoC" gets arse handed to him by listeners -Working out before heading out HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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384: Nick Onken | Turning Passion Into Profit Mar 11, 2015

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Your passion will drive you. "You are the creator of your reality." -Nick Onken The Cheat Sheet: Nick shares how to find your why. Is there a formula to creating your vision? Why no idea is actually new, and why that's okay. Being successful all comes down to what? What's been the trigger for the biggest growth in his career? And so much more... Getting paid to do what you love is something all of us have dreamed of at some point in our lives. But why do some achieve that goal and others don't? And why do some artists have phenomenal careers and others never really take off? Nick Onken joins the show to share his thoughts and experiences on those very subjects. Nick is a world-renowned photographer who works with people like Jessica Alba and Usher. He shares the lessons he's learned about turning passion into profit on this episode of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: If you're passionate about something and want to create a business and an income from it would you be willing to invest 5 or 6 years to get there? That's what Nick Onken did and today he's a famous photographer working with the likes of Usher, Justin Bieber and Coca-Cola. But it did take him years to get where he is today. Over the last few years he worked as a freelance graphic designer and spent his days creating visual graphics for others. In his free time he perfected his photography skills, all the while keeping his eye on the prize of making a living with his art. On today's show he talks about how to find your passionate why, how to translate that into a vision of a business and some of the most valuable lessons he's learned on his rise to the top. Nick and I cover several subjects but two we'll highlight here are the importance of your inner circle (the people you spend the most time with) and raising your inner game. Who you hang out with, your inner circle, is one of the most influential factors in where you will go in life. If you have the right people in your life, people who are where you want to be, you will stay on track no matter what it takes. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and people you can add value to and inspire as well. Nick reiterates this on the show because it was an important factor for him. He also touches on the topic of raising your inner game or emotional IQ. In the 5-6 years it took him to build his business Nick found that he had a lot of self-criticism and self-doubt he had to face. And it was only by becoming aware of his own thoughts that he could do so. Everyone, Nick included, who has been successful has had these same thoughts and limiting beliefs, they've simply faced them and pushed through them. It's a normal part of doing something outside of your comfort zone, but you can get through it. Nick also talks about what separates those who succeed from those who don't, how to find your why, your vision and turn your passion into profit. Special thanks to Nick for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS NICK ONKEN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Nick know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Nick on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Nick Onken's web siteSHOPTalk, Nick's podcast Nick Onken on TwitterNick Onken on Instagram The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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383: Sam Cook | Life-Saving Negotiation Skills Mar 09, 2015

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If you have options and resources negotiation is easier. "In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king." -Sam Cook The Cheat Sheet: Why there's no such thing as a safe and secure job. What's the hardest part of negotiation? He who cares the least ____. Sam fills in the blank. What does Sam say is the secret to life? How he doubled his team's productivity. And so much more... Our guest for today's show has negotiated with some of the most militant insurgencies in the world, and some of the most dangerous members of those groups. Sam Cook is a former officer in the US Army who spent 13 years serving, including two tours in Iraq. He joins us to share how negotiation skills helped him when dealing with opposing forces. All of that and so much more on this episode of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Get 10% Off Onnit! More About This Show: Sam Cook spent 13 years in the armed forces, but when he was just 7 years away from retirement age he left. He knew he had been passionate and dedicated to his service for those previous years, but he wasn't feeling the same way about the next 7. Sam had always turned to digital content and web sites throughout his career so it made sense to go into that arena as a civilian. As the head of Prism Communications today he is on a mission to help experts with powerful messages get those messages out into the world. His key to success is using the networking and negotiating skills that served him so well throughout his military career and brings them into the business world. Today we talk about the tactics and strategies of negotiating and networking as he's learned them, whether in a hostile environment or simply a business deal. One of the most important skills he says is to always be networking. It's something we discuss at length here at The AOC and Sam reiterates this belief. People skills and soft skills helped him fight insurgencies in Iraq and they'll help you whether you're asking for a raise, negotiating a buyout or building a network to advance your career. A powerful perspective Sam recommends is to put yourself in the other person's shoes. When you're talking to them be sure they know you understand their position and where they are coming from. By doing so you're showing empathy and respect which will go a long way towards creating a solution. He also says it helps to keep things in perspective. In your negotiations no one is going to die, most likely you're just talking about money. In the grand scheme of things it isn't that big of a deal since no one's life is on the line. So keep that in mind. Remember you have options and you have other resources, these two things combined are one of the most potent combinations you can have in your corner when negotiating. And you'll have options and resources because you've continued to build your network. Spend the money to meet people face to face, it's completely worth it. Sam has done this in his business and he knows people value the relationship they have with him because they've met in person. In fact, his team's productivity doubles every time he meets with them! In today's digital age face to face has become a novelty so set yourself apart from everyone else and break bread with people, it'll go a long way towards creating lasting, powerful relationships and partnerships in your professional career. Sam also shares some tips on taking your emotions out of the negotiation and some fascinating stories from his negotiations with insurgents. Special thanks to Sam for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS SAM COOK! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Sam know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Sam on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Sam Cook's web site Sam Cook on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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Friday Five Minutes #5 Mar 06, 2015

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In this one: -This stuff works everywhere, so quit cryin' -Why you need AoC "even though you're married" -A Chipotle hack that Jordan is particularly proud of. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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382: Ian Kerner | She Comes First Mar 04, 2015

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Female sexuality is quite different than male sexuality. "For a woman to turn on parts of her brain need to turn off." -Ian Kerner The Cheat Sheet: Sexual attention deficit disorder: what is it and how does it relate to porn? Is Ian in favor of or against pornography? What is IELT and why does it matter? How often should couples have sex? What is the sex pyramid? And so much more... When it comes to sex do men think about it more than women - or is that just a myth? And if you're in a relationship how often should you be doing it, how often is healthy? These are just a few of the questions we answer on today's show. Joining us is sex and relationship expert and the best-selling author of several books including She Comes First, Ian Kerner. We talk about all of that and more on episode 382 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Sex is a crucial aspect of a romantic relationship, yet it's one of those areas most couples (and singles) don't have the vocabulary to talk about. Ian Kerner is a man on a mission to change that and he's written several New York Times best-selling books to do so, as well as work with clients in his private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist. One of the first things we discuss today is the fact that male and female sexuality are different, despite the fact that our culture treats them the same. A guy typically only needs one sexual cue to get turned on. However a woman often needs multiple cues and her arousal is much more context-oriented. What that means is a woman often needs a safe, comfortable and secure environment without distractions in order to be fully ready for sex and orgasms. In fact, functional MRI scans have shown that certain parts of a woman's brain actually dim during arousal, the parts associated with stress, anxiety and high emotion. So arousal cues different, but do men really think about sex more than women? Not as much as you might believe. Studies of college students have shown that men only think about sex 17-20 times a day while women think about it around 10 times a day. So yes men think about it more, but not that much more. And once you're in a sexually active relationship, how often should you be doing it? Ian recommends at least once a week to keep the connection there and to keep that sexual chemistry in the air. He also recommends using his sex pyramid to keep a good balance of familiarity and novelty to keep your sexual life healthy. The sex pyramid is grouped into multiple types of sex from romantic love-making to fantasy sex to sensual sex. Ian gives us the full details of how to blend those sex groups on today's show! We also talk about how to use porn in a healthy way, how to deal with premature ejaculation and much more. Listen in and enjoy! Special thanks to Ian for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS IAN KERNER! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Ian know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Ian on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Ian Kerner's web siteShe Comes First, by Ian Kerner 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex, by Ian Kerner Good In Bed Ian Kerner on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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381: Adam Braun | Pencils of Promise Mar 02, 2015

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An ordinary person can create extraordinary change. "One of the biggest things missing in the non-profit space is the sense of for-profit business acumen." -Adam Braun The Cheat Sheet: How much money did he start Pencils of Promise with? Why must all communities that receive a school contribute 20%? Why non-profits can sometimes have adverse effects. What are the three forms of compensation? Adam shares what to consider when making your next career move. And so much more... Many of us dream about giving back, adding meaning to our lives and making a positive impact in the world. But how many of us do anything with that dream or even think we're still capable of pursuing it? Adam Braun of Pencils of Promise has pursued his passion for education and has now written his book, The Promise of a Pencil, to inspire and show the rest of us it's not too late and that ordinary people can create extraordinary change. Join us as we chat about that topic and more on episode 381 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Founding an educational non-profit wasn't always a dream of Adam Braun's. Born in NYC, he moved to the suburbs of Connecticut when he was a small child. His parents always placed a strong emphasis on education and he went to one of the best public schools available. He played basketball while in school and saw the distinct economic gap that existed. Some of his teammates lived in the worst neighborhoods while others lived in large mansions. He was fascinated by this and asked the parents who lived in the mansions what they did for work. The resounding answer: Wall Street. By 13 he was obsessed with getting a job on Wall Street and opened his own trading account. At 16 he spent a summer interning at a hedgefund and at 20 he was exactly where he wanted to be: he was playing collegiate basketball for Brown University, studying economics and on his way to his dream career on Wall Street. All of that changed when he did a program called "Semester at Sea". It's a collegiate program in which students and faculty spend a semester on a cruise ship traveling and exploring 10 different countries. Students and professors and administrators come from over 200 different schools to participate and Adam was one of them. Their first stop was South Korea, but on their way they were caught in a superstorm. Their ship was hit by a rogue 60-foot wave that knocked out their power and navigation system. When the announcement came to get to their muster stations everyone, including the adults on board, believed they were going to die. After a few minutes though, Adam knew he was meant to do more than simply die at sea at the age of 21. A feeling of calm came over him, and soon everyone onboard was safe. They continued their semester at sea and Adam enjoyed the backpacking and exploring of each country. As a project during his travels he asked a child in every country what their dream was. In India one child's answer floored him. The child simply wanted a pencil. When Adam handed him his own pencil the child lit up. That experience was the origin of Pencils of Promise. On today's episode we talk about the steps he took to building his non-profit after that experience, why it's been so wildly successful (people like Lewis Howes and Gary Vaynerchuk sit on the board) and how he wrote The Promise of a Pencil. He also shares how stepping away as the CEO of PoP actually helped the organization to grow and thrive, and he explains how you can apply his same lessons learned to your business. It was a pleasure to have Adam here and to find out the fascinating story behind Pencils of Promise. Listen in, enjoy and then join me in thanking Adam for being here with us. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS ADAM BRAUN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Adam know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Adam on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Pencils of Promise web siteAdam Braun's personal web siteThe Promise of a Pencil, by Adam Braun Email Adam here to raise money for PoP Pencils of Promise on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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Friday Five Minutes #4 Feb 27, 2015

Show notes

In this one: -How to tell someone they have bad oral hygiene -Why you shouldn't have lunch meetings -More on the issue of race/ethnicity and mentorship HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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380: Tim Larkin | How to Survive The Unthinkable Feb 25, 2015

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Violence is simply a tool. "The best information for survival is going to come from the worst part of society." -Tim Larkin The Cheat Sheet: Why has Tim been banned from the UK? What advice did Tony Robbins give him after going through his training? Why women's and men's perception of violent situations are so different. Why banning weapons does little to stop physical attacks. What did his South Boston grandpa teach him about violence? And so much more... If you were ever in a situation where your life and other lives were in physical jeopardy would you know how to respond? Our guest for today's show believes you would sink to the level of your training, not rise to the occasion of violence. So unless you know how to use violence as a tool, you won't stand a chance. Here to talk about the evidence behind his stance and his book, Survive The Unthinkable, is Tim Larkin. Join us as we chat about this and more on episode 380 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Get 10% Off Onnit! More About This Show: Tim Larkin has spent 20 years educating others and understanding the role violence plays in various cultures. He has witnessed violence crossing all demographics and acknowledges anyone can be on the receiving end. But what can set us apart and help us to survive the unthinkable is to use violence as a tool. In fact his company motto is violence is really the answer...but when it's the answer it's the only answer. And what he means by this is not to indiscriminately use violence in any scenario but to know that you will know when violence is necessary and to use it accordingly. Violence is a tool and a tool we have used to survive since humans first walked the planet. We used it to fend off attacks from animals and to protect ourselves, and we did it very well because we're still here today. Tim goes on to say criminals will use violence as a tool to get what they want, and we have to do the same to protect ourselves just like our ancestors did. With his trainings and in his book Survive The Unthinkable he makes certain we understand what scenarios we don't have to respond to with violence, and he also explains how to survive when we do have to have use violence. In essence he helps us think like violent offenders without becoming one. The best tactics, the best information we can find is going to come from the worst part of the society: the violent offenders. These people see violence as a currency, a way to get results. What's incredibly fascinating is how most of us see violent attacks as good or bad. For example, if a woman is attacked and defends herself by stabbing her attacker in the neck we applaud her and press no charges against her in court: she was after all just defending herself. Now if we reverse the situation and the attacker goes after the same woman and stabs her and kills her, we want him thrown in jail for life (at minimum, perhaps even seeking the death penalty if that's an option). Tim encourages us to look at the situation differently: what was successful in this attack and how can you use that knowledge? Odds are high that if the woman was able to stab and kill her attacker, she struck first. And vice versa. He gives several more examples like this one on this show. We also talk about why MMA and UFC fight moves won't help you, a simple approach to communicating that disarms and diffuses most aggressors and much more. Massive thanks to Tim for his valuable insights on this episode. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS TIM LARKIN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Tim know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Tim on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Tim Larkin's web siteSurvive The Unthinkable, by Tim Larkin Tim on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)!

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