Talks with Dr Shafer

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Are You Really Stuck or Free? Come Back to Your Body to Find Out May 18, 2024

Show notes

Bringing it Back to Your Body: Heavy or Light, Stiff or Flexible, Stuck or Free

Heavy and light, stiff and flexible.

We can feel all of these things at different moments. One moment we are nimble and light, and it is as if we could spring from leaf to leaf, climbing higher and higher towards the heavens, no fear of falling, only focused on reaching the warm blue expanse above us. Next, seemingly without reason, we can feel weighed down, tethered to the earth, encircled by stones and shadows, unable to move a millimeter as our limbs feel stuck in the mud, while the wind blows and sand stings our eyes. What is the overall difference in our mindset when we are experiencing something positive versus something negative? Our minds are hard-wired to focus on the negative to keep us safe. Has that food gone bad? Your mind won't let you forget the pain of food poisoning for a long time, if ever, because it wants you to remember that lesson and avoid such danger in the future. But in many situations, our mind's focus on danger prevention creates fear and avoidance that are harmful, not helpful. While we may rejoice for a moment over a victory such as getting a new job, completing that chore we have been putting off, or starting that new business and getting our first customers, our brain sees little benefit in focusing on these wins long-term. Instead, when we succeed, our mind goes on to the next step. That success felt good. How can we build on it and achieve it again? Our positive experiences lead to the secretion of happy neurochemicals in our brains, and we seek out experiences to get the next positive feedback. Our negative experiences trigger fight-or-flight type nervous system responses, which our bodies then remember to avoid repeat negative experiences. The drive to avoid pain can be all-encompassing and act as a distraction from seeking positive reinforcement. We can only focus on one direction, after all. So if our head is turned, looking over our shoulder at the mistakes and pitfalls of our past, we can't possibly focus effectively on working towards today's and tomorrow's accomplishments. A way to help us come back into the present moment from our past so that we can determine where we want to direct our energy moving forward from this moment is to focus on how we feel in our body. How does this memory make us feel? Can we process it and release what is no longer serving us? Picking up on a single word such as Stuck, can help us.
I feel stuck.
What does it feel like in your body to feel stuck? Literally, I feel like I am in molasses. What would it feel like to pull yourself out of that molasses? That would feel... freeing. How would it be to be free?It would be a completely new experience. From the perspective of yourself in this moment, feeling free and new, where do you want to go? We are free. Our circumstances or controlling people or situations may make us feel that we are not, and limiting beliefs in our minds may echo and cage us, but the truth is, it isn't a cage, it is more like a hamster wheel. There is a way out. But you have to choose. You have to stop running the unwinnable race, stop heading in the same direction that isn't taking you anywhere, step off of the wheel, and choose your path. It isn't easy. But it is possible. And that is the power of coming back into your body, into the present moment, and choosing in an embodied state where you want to go from here. Heavy or light, stiff or flexible, stuck or free. You get to choose what you believe you are, and that is what you will be.

We Hope You Enjoy Today’s Episode. Please Like And Subscribe To Get The Next Inspiring, Growth-Focused Episode Of Talks With Dr Shafer Follow And Rate The Podcast To Help Spread Dr Shafer's Message Of Growth, Healing, And Reclaiming Your Story To As Many People As Possible!

You can learn more at ⁠www.drshaferstedronova.com⁠

Little House Of Dreams Entertainment, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

What Is a Hospital Chaplain & Spiritual Director? Rev. Christine Davies Explains & Inspires May 16, 2024

Show notes

On this inspiring episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, Dr. Shafer interviews Rev. Christine V. Davies, a writer, speaker, hospital chaplain and head of the hospital chaplaincy department at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, Minister, Pastoral Educator, Seminary Professor, Writer, and Spiritual Director. We discuss the role of a hospital chaplain and the importance of spiritual care in healthcare settings. Rev. Davies shares her personal journey and how she transitioned from pursuing a career in medicine to becoming a chaplain. We also explore the concept of spiritual distress and the ways in which chaplains provide emotional and spiritual support to patients and their families. The conversation highlights the need for open and honest conversations about grief, loss, and spirituality, and the importance of holding space for others without trying to fix or provide answers. Rev. Christine V. Davies discusses the practice of spiritual direction and its role in deepening one's spiritual life. Rev. Davies emphasizes the importance of individual grounding and finding a sense of spirituality, sacredness, and depth within oneself. She also highlights the need for individuals to untangle their beliefs and experiences from past religious trauma and find their own authentic spiritual path. An inspiring, deep conversation into real-world experiences of faith, illness, and connection with our families and communities, Dr Shafer and Rev. Davies create a safe space for difficult conversations and challenging moments.

We hope you enjoy today’s powerful episode. Please like and subscribe to get the next inspiring, growth-focused episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, and comment, follow and rate the podcast to help spread Dr Shafer's message of growth, healing, and reclaiming your story to as many people as possible!

Learn more about Rev. Christine V Davies on her website, www.christinevdavies.com

You can sign up for her newsletter at https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/

You can follow Rev. Christine V Davies at these links:

Linked In - https://www.linkedin.com/in/rev-christine-davies/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cvdavies/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/christine.davies

You can learn more about Dr Shafer on her website, ⁠www.drshaferstedronova.com⁠,

and follow Talks with Dr Shafer on Facebook @TalkswithDrShafer, Instagram @talks_with_dr_shafer, TikTok @DrShafer, Youtube @Talks with Dr Shafer, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music.

Little House of Dreams Entertainment, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

#talkswithdrshafer #revchristinevdavies #toughtalks #death #hospitalchaplain #spiritual #grief #loss #spirituality #support #beliefs #trauma #mindset #growth #toxicpositivity #hospital

Chapters

00:00Introduction and Exploring Roles

02:19 Rev. Davies' Journey to Becoming a Chaplain

06:22 Recognizing Signs of Spiritual Distress

10:47 The Importance of Open and Honest Conversations

23:21 Toxic Spirituality and Harmful Religious Platitudes

27:22 The Power of Silence and Presence

28:41 Finding Groundedness and Depth in Spirituality

29:08 Introduction to Spiritual Direction

31:32 Untangling Beliefs and Experiences

36:35 The Process of Unraveling and Rebuilding

38:23 Pruning for Growth and Change

44:49 Supporting Individual Spiritual Journeys

Talks with Dr Shafer Discusses Coercive Control with Guest Jennifer C Parker, Therapist and Author of Coercive Relationships May 14, 2024

Show notes

*Disclaimer: Today’s episode discusses Intimate Partner Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence

On this episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, with your host, Dr Shafer, we welcome special guest, Jennifer C Parker, who worked as a therapist for 35 years and is the author of Coercive Relationships: Find the Answers You Seek, which she wrote to reach victims and non victims of Intimate Partner Abuse to educate and promote healing. Coercive Relationships was a finalist in the 2022 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Since retiring from therapy, Jennifer trains therapists in effective therapy for abuse victims, markets her book and blog, and reaches out to survivors with information on social media. Today, Dr Shafer and Jennifer discuss her concept of the 12 Bricks in the Coercion Wall, the dynamics of Coercive Relationships, and the importance of coming back to yourself and your values to regain autonomy if you recognize that you are experiencing coercive control in your relationships, and how this can be a long and difficult process requiring grace for yourself and your past. We hope you enjoy today’s powerful episode. Please like and subscribe to get the next inspiring, growth-focused episode of Talks with Dr Shafer!

Talks with Dr Shafer listeners can receive a 20% discount with Jennifer’s publisher, Black Rose Writing: https://www.blackrosewriting.com/nonfiction/coerciverelationships

Promo code: CR20 (if used before May 31, 2024) for 20% discount on print book

For those who prefer Ebooks: Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/ dp/1684336678/

You can learn more about our Guest, Jennifer C Parker, her books and her mission at www.madisonmentalhealthcounselor.com and you can follow her on the following platforms

Blog signup: https://madisonmentalhealthcounselor.com/blog

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferCParkerMSSW

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferc.parker/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/jennifer-parker-therapy-training-consultation/

You can learn more about Dr Shafer on her website, ⁠www.drshaferstedronova.com⁠,

and follow Talks with Dr Shafer on Facebook @TalkswithDrShafer, Instagram @talks_with_dr_shafer, TikTok @DrShafer, Youtube @Talks with Dr Shafer, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music.

#jennifercparker #talkswithdrshafer #podcast #womensvoices #intimatepartnerabuse #coerciverelationships #therapy #choose you #drshaferstedronova #domesticabuse

Resources:

Jennifer recommends the following resource for physical and emotional safety planning: https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/comprehensive-guides/a-guide-to-domestic-violence-safety-planning

You are not alone. Help is available.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-7233

Call 9-1-1 in the case of an Emergency

Little House of Dreams Entertainment, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

Talks with Dr Shafer featuring Therapist and Author Caitlin Sigouin May 10, 2024

Show notes

On this episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, with your host, Dr Shafer, we welcome special guest, Caitlin Sigouin, Therapist and Author of the Children's Book, A Rainbow of Feelings. We discuss the importance of allowing children to express and navigate their emotions, as well as the role of parents in supporting their children's emotional development. Caitlin highlights how learning new tools as parents can help us become more emotionally aware and better able to help both adults and children in navigating their emotions. We discuss different therapies and tools to aid in identifying and expressing emotions, such as using a color wheel to help identify emotions. We also touch on the challenges parents face, on learning to give grace and support to ourselves and one another, and the importance of authentic connection in our lives.

You can learn more about Caitlin and her book, A Rainbow of Feelings, on her website www.caitlinsigouin.com, and download a free coloring sheet featuring the main character, Tito, in her book about emotions!

You can follow Caitlin on Instagram at @caitlinsigouin

You can learn more about Dr Shafer on her website, ⁠www.drshaferstedronova.com⁠,

and follow Talks with Dr Shafer on Facebook @TalkswithDrShafer, Instagram @talks_with_dr_shafer, TikTok @DrShafer, Youtube @Talks with Dr Shafer, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music.

#caitlinsigouin #talkswithdrshafer #podcast #lifecoach #therapist #arainbowoffeelings #emotions #drshaferstedronova #author

Produced by Shafer Stedron

Little House of Dreams Entertainment, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

Embracing Emotions on Talks with Dr Shafer with Special Guest Therapist and Author Caitlin Sigouin Part 2 May 10, 2024

Show notes

On this episode of Talks with Dr Shafer we welcome back special guest, Caitlin Sigouin, Therapist and Author of the illustrated Children's Book, A Rainbow of Feelings, for part two of our discussion on embracing emotions and empowering parents and children to accept all of their feelings. We discuss parenting through challenging moments, learning how to accept our emotions and gifting children important lessons of listening to their emotions.

You can learn more about Caitlin and her book, A Rainbow of Feelings, releasing May 24, 2024, on her website, www.caitlinsigouin.com

Download your free coloring pages from the book, A Rainbow of Feelings, at www.caitlinsigouin.com

The author hopes you will post your colored pages to Instagram and tag her so that everyone can enjoy your colorful creations!

You can follow Caitlin on Instagram at @caitlinsigouin

#caitlinsigouin #talkswithdrshafer #podcast #lifecoach #therapist #arainbowoffeelings #emotions #drshaferstedronova #author

Do you love Talks with Dr Shafer and want to hear about a certain topic on the show? Let us know! Comment on the show, or contact us on our website at www.drshaferstedronova.com

Talks with Dr Shafer is Produced by Shafer Stedron.

Little House of Dreams Entertainment, LLC, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

Talks with Dr Shafer featuring Special Guest, Terry Tucker May 07, 2024

Show notes

On this episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, with your host, Dr Shafer, we welcome special guest, Terry Tucker. Terry Tucker is a truly inspirational Motivational Speaker, Author of the informative and inspiring book Sustainable Excellence, and founder of Motivational Check LLC. In this conversation, Terry Tucker and Dr. Shafer discuss the importance of learning from mistakes, developing character and values, and overcoming fear. They emphasize the power of storytelling and the impact that sharing our stories can have on others. Terry shares his experience as a motivational speaker and cancer warrior, and highlights the importance of purpose, service and making a positive impact on others. This episode’s conversation explores the importance of leaning into one's purpose and finding fulfillment through service and connection. Terry discusses the significance of doing something you enjoy and are passionate about in order to sustain excellence, and he introduces the concept of the 40% rule, which emphasizes pushing past your perceived limits and finding strength in difficult times. You can learn more about Terry Tucker and his mission on his website, www.motivationalcheck.com, and you can follow him on the following platforms: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terry-tucker-9b5605179/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motivationalcheck X (Twitter): https://mobile.twitter.com/terrytucker2012 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sustainableexcellenceauthor/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl2CUA6R1zP2ZcjzhzGKWkQ Talks with Dr Shafer is hosted by Neurologist, Mom, Life Coach, Musician and Author Shafer Stedron, MD, who is passionate about storytelling as a tool to help reclaim your story and create your most beautiful future. You can learn more about Dr Shafer on her website, www.drshaferstedronova.com, and follow Talks with Dr Shafer on Facebook @TalkswithDrShafer, Instagram @talks_with_dr_shafer, TikTok @DrShafer, Youtube @Talks with Dr Shafer, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music. #terrytucker #talkswithdrshafer #podcast #lifecoach #motivationalcheck #sustainableexcellence #cancer #cancerwarrior #purpose #drshaferstedronova Little House of Dreams Entertainment, 2024. All Rights Reserved. Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

Thank you, Taylor May 05, 2024

Show notes

In today’s episode, Dr Shafer reflects on listening to Taylor Swift’s newest album, The Tortured Poets Department, and on the impactful and vulnerable storytelling gifted by the author. Taylor vulnerably lays bare experiences of love, betrayal, loss, and of becoming aware of the lessons and strength earned by coming through life’s challenges. We hope you enjoy this reflection, and would love to hear your thoughts on The Tortured Poets Department and the art of storytelling through music. Thank you, Taylor Swift! Talks with Dr Shafer is hosted by Dr Shafer Stedron, MD www.drshaferstedronova.com Little House of Dreams Entertainment, LLC 2024. All Rights Reserved. #talkswithdrshafer #ttpd #thetorturedpoetsdepartment #podcast #thankyou #storytelling

Feeling Stuck? Make a Cup of Tea, Short Talk on Talks with Dr Shafer May 03, 2024

Show notes

Feeling Stuck? Make a Cup of Tea, Short Talk on Talks with Dr Shafer. When we are overwhelmed and not feeling able to tackle anything on our to do list, it can help to do something. To set a small, actionable goal, and complete it. This goal can be something as small as stopping to make a cup of tea, sitting down and drinking it. When you do what you set out to do, you show yourself that you can do what you set out to do, breaking you out of the cycle of feeling stuck and unable to start, which reinforces limiting beliefs and fears that you cannot do the things that you want to do. Show yourself, even in the smallest ways, that you can, and that data will do amazing things to help reinforce what you know: that you can do this. We just have to start, and keep going, bit by bit. #habits #cupoftea #tea #talkswithdrshafer #podcast

www.drshaferstedronova.com

Little House of Dreams Entertainment LLC, 2024

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse.

Connection, Not Correction Apr 25, 2024

Show notes

Connect, don't Correct: Life Coaching Life Hack In our common conversation, most of us have had a particular style of communication modeled: listen to respond. We want to keep the flow going. We want to entertain. We want to impress the listener. We want them to feel less alone in their experience. All of these are valid reasons to share personal anecdotes and stories during a conversation. We may see ourselves, our past mistakes, our would have, could have, should have gremlins may awaken as we reflect on what someone is telling us, and we want to offer advice to help the speaker deal with the challenges they are sharing with us. We have been programmed to respond. Which is to say, we are programmed to assume that when someone shares a part of themself with us, that they are asking us indirectly for our opinion on that matter. That they are asking us for our acknowledgement, for our validation of their experience and their choices. Put that way, how do you feel about this way of responding? Do we share our stories for validation? Do we want advice? When we think back to the most healing, connecting moments in our lives, they don't usually include receiving advice. Or if they do, that advice was very cleverly cloaked in love, presence, and acknowledgement for how we were showing up in that moment, with that challenge, to face it. We felt empowered. The listener served to help reflect back to us what we had already shown: that we were capable of facing this. We need support, we need community, we need love. And more than anything, we need to know that we are complete and capable. When leaving our childhood home for the first time, a common feeling shared by many is the feeling that we just don't know what we are going to do. Are we going to make it? What is the right path? And many of us, 10, 20 years down the line, may look back at that time with a bit of sadness and grief if what we received in that moment was advice. Was a roadmap. Because we weren't asking for that. What we really wanted was to feel that we could succeed. To know that the world was big, but our potential was even bigger, and we just had to trust ourselves. Learn to follow our gut, to invest in our future, to build our skills and habits and trust in ourself. To collect the data to prove to ourselves that we are capable of doing great things. That we can fail, fall, get back up, brush ourselves off, and keep going, new lessons in hand. We can't take the fall with us, but the lessons? Those are portable. If we were deprived of our autonomy, and given the roadmap, and we followed it, and did not listen to our inner voice, once we get to the big goal on that map, it's very likely that we won't feel the desire to celebrate. Because we haven't proven to ourself that we are capable of being true to ourselves. We unknowingly left ourselves behind long ago, and arrived at a place that may be a desirable place, may be a safe place, but if it isn't our place, we can't find peace and satisfaction there. And we may grieve and resent the younger version of ourselves, or those who advised us. But resentment just cycles us back to the past, and keeps us on that path that wasn't ours. So, what do we want to do? How can we help one another to stay on our path? How can we show up for one another in a way that honors our completeness and recognizes the unique gifts that we have to share with the world…

Talks with Dr Shafer featuring Special Guest Sergeant Major Clint Markland Apr 22, 2024

Show notes

On today’s episode of Talks with Dr Shafer, Special Guest Sergeant Major Clint Markland, 24-year career veteran, life coach and co-creator of The Father Forge shares his journey of personal growth and transformation. He shares the inspiration for The Father Forge program that he has created to help other men seeking personal and professional growth. Sergeant Major Markland discusses the importance of being present at home and the challenges of balancing a military career with family life. He emphasizes the need for men who wish to have a meaningful connection with their partner and family to make a choice to be present and engaged at home, and to prioritize their physical and mental well-being. Sergeant Major Markland explains the Father Forge program, which focuses on empowering men to become strong, capable, and authentic fathers and husbands. He also highlights the importance of self-awareness, worthiness, and building a strong support system on the journey to personal and professional fulfillment.

You can learn more about Sergeant Major Clint Markland and The Father Forge at www.thefatherforge.com. On his website you can find a free resources including The Father Forge. Transformation Guide Ebook and The Man of Steel: The Father Forge’s Ultimate Fitness Playbook.

You can follow Sergeant Major Clint Markland on instagram at @clint.markland, X @ClintMarkland, Facebook @Clint Ray Markland.

Talks with Dr Shafer is hosted by Neurologist, Mom, Life Coach, Musician and Author Shafer Stedron, MD, who is passionate about storytelling as a tool to help reclaim your story and create your most beautiful future. You can learn more about Dr Shafer on her website, www.drshaferstedronova.com, and follow Talks with Dr Shafer on Facebook @TalkswithDrShafer, Instagram @talks_with_dr_shafer, TikTok @DrShafer, Youtube @Talks with Dr Shafer, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music.

#clintmarkland #talkswithdrshafer #podcast #lifecoach #thefatherforge

Little House of Dreams Entertainment, 2024.

Music Credit: Shafer Yost, Impulse

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