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    Kids & Family

    Sunshine Parenting

    Camp Director, Mom, Author, and Speaker Audrey Monke and other youth development experts discuss summer camp, family life, raising thriving kids, and ideas for living more connected and happier lives.

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    Latest Episodes:
    [ENCORE] Ep. 159: "The Social Dilemma" with Jean Rogers Jul 23, 2021
    Show notes

    SHOW NOTES

    Join Audrey's email subscriber community for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families.

    Jean Rogers is the Director of the Children's Screen Time Action Network, where she leads a coalition of practitioners, educators, advocates, and parents who collaborate on practical methods to reduce children's time on screens and digital devices, mitigate the dangers, and preserve childhood in the digital age. Jean is the host of Action Network Live!, a webcast bringing experts to parents on how screens impact all aspects of child development. She writes a weekly blog and speaks widely to parents, teachers and activists, empowering them to implement simple solutions to a complex 21st century parenting challenge.

    Jean earned Masters' degrees in Education and Parenting Education at Wheelock College, where she took up the mantel of Susan Linn and Diane Levin, trailblazers in media literacy, play-based learning, and avoiding a commercialized childhood. Prior to working at the Action Network, Jean was a freelance marketing writer, illuminating products and services for nonprofit and business clients. She was also a music teacher, director of a large church school, and a college writing center consultant. Her greatest role is mother to 5 children.

    BIG IDEAS

    • The Social Dilemma is fantastic because it helps you understand that social media apps were designed for profit for the companies that designed, not for the benefit of the users (a good term because of the addictive nature of the apps).

    • If you have preteens or teens, we encourage you to have them watch The Social Dilemma with you. They'll understand more at the end, they'll maybe see themselves or their friends in it or their cousins. They'll understand it from the perspective of one of those ages. If you have young children, the film is really a cautionary tale. It's something that if you watch it now you can prevent some of these things from happening.

    • While we do have the children's online privacy and protection act, that has not translated into the regulations for social media that you would expect, and kids are still able to scroll. They're able to find things.

    • For our kids, it's so easy for them to believe everything that they see and for us to need to explain that not everything is real on the internet. Fake news and stories spread much faster than true ones.

    LINKS & RESOURCES

    • Where to connect with and find out more about Jean and the Children's Screen Time Action Network: Website Facebook Book: Kids Under Fire Action Network Live

    • Jean's interview with Audrey and Lenore Skenazy on Action Network Live.

    Happy Campers at Home: Navigating Summer with Children during COVID-19 from CCFC on Vimeo.

    • "The Social Dilemma"

    • Cyberwise

    • "The Great Hack"

    • Cal Newport

    • Digital Wellness Collective

    • Wait Until 8th

    • Turning Life On

    QUOTES

    • Audrey: "I had heard that a long time ago about Steve jobs, that his kids weren't allowed to have iPads."

    • Audrey: "These tools that have been created are starting to erode the social fabric of how society works."

    • Jean: "The Children's screen Time Action Network is a project of Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood."

    • Jean: "Creating routines reduces stress."

    • Jean: "I think one of the things they say in the film is, it's not like a bolt of lightning that happens. All of a sudden your kids are converted to this world. It's a gradual change in their behavior. And so we don't want to wake up someday and not know our kids."

    • Jean: "There are studies that say, we learn a lot more. We absorb a lot more by reading the real book."

    • Jean: "You can't change it. That only the industry can change it, but you can change what's going on in your own home."

    IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE...

    Ep. 156: The Tech Solution with Dr. Shimi Kang

    Ep. 148: Connecting with Nature & Each Other During COVID with Ariella Rogge

    Ep. 144: Raising Happy, Durable Kids in the Digital Age

    Ep. 116: Why We Need to Unplug and Connect with our Families

    ONE SIMPLE THING

    This week's One Simple Thing is one from Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

    MY FAVORITE

    Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport

    I think we're only scratching the surface on the damage caused by our current technology habits. As I argued in Digital Minimalism, these tools are both powerful and indifferent to your best interests. Until you decide to adopt a minimalist ethos, and deploy technology intentionally to serve specific values you care about, the damage it inflicts will continue to accumulate. -Cal Newport, Do Smartphones Make Us Dumber?

    SUBSCRIBE TO SUNSHINE PARENTING THANKS FOR LISTENING!

    If you enjoyed this episode and know of others who would be encouraged by the ideas, please share!

    Leave a review for the Sunshine Parenting Podcast on iTunes! Reviews are very important for helping podcasts find their audiences, and I would love your support in helping people find Sunshine Parenting!

    Would you like to have access to bonus posts, resources and podcast episodes? Join me as a supporter on Patreon!

    Audrey


    [ENCORE] Ep. 85: Grit is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone (PEGtalk) Jul 09, 2021
    Show notes

    Today's show, Episode 85, was recorded live at Pegasus School in Huntington Beach as part of their PEGtalks parent education series. I'm with my frequent guest, Sara Kuljis, the owner and director of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. We talked about my book, Happy Campers and we discussed Camp Secret #5,…

    The post Ep. 85: Grit is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone (PEGtalk) appeared first on Sunshine Parenting.


    [ENCORE] Ep. 98: "Camplifying" the World with Tom Rosenberg Jun 25, 2021
    Show notes

    In Episode 98, I'm chatting with Tom Rosenberg, CEO of the American Camp Association. Last year, in Episode 46, we talked about summer camp, accreditation, and #CampKindnessDay (July 20, 2021). In this episode, we talk about the research about the positive impact of camp, our joint passion for partnering with parents to bring camp to schools and homes. Tom uses my new favorite word, "camplify," to describe this spreading of the camp message to other venues outside of camp.

    Big Ideas
    • There are an estimated 14 million kids going to camps in the U.S. this summer.
    • Ninety-three percent of American Camp Association camps offer financial aid and scholarships for campers. Parents need to work well in advance to apply for those resources.
    • Parents can use the 'Find A Camp' tool on the American Camp Association's website to search for the ACA accredited camps. This is a parent's best assurance that a camp has met the foundational standards of a safe and healthy camp experience for their child.
    • There are many different kinds of camps. There are camps for specific cultural groups, for kids with a particular medical disorder, for kids with a specific area of interest, and many, many more.
    • It's important for parents to visit a summer camp before sending their child to one so that they can see what camp is all about.
    • At camp, kids have the opportunity to learn to be themselves, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and try again.
    • The American Camp Association website provides wonderful videos and other resources for parents.
    • Camp helps kids build relationship skills and learn from people with different backgrounds and experiences.
    • Camp is about positive risk.
    • The more kids put into their camp experience, the more they get out of it.
    • People who been camp counselors before becoming teachers or parents really have an advantage when it comes to relating to kids.
    • Camp techniques work at home too.
    • On Tuesday, July 20, we will be celebrating Camp Kindness Day across America.
    Quotes

    Tom: "All different kinds of camp experiences are more accessible than ever before and we're working hard to provide more equity around the affordability of camp, and the accessibility of experiences. Ninety-three percent of American Camp Association camps offer financial aid and scholarships. The trick is that parents have to work well in advance of the summer to apply for those resources."

    Audrey: "This is the time to start thinking about next summer. If there's a camp that you're really interested in, you can tour the camp while it is in session to see if its a good match for your family, meet some of the staff and campers."

    Tom: "I'm a former camp director and I'm the CEO of the American Camp Association but I still, as a dad, find myself trying to help my child not make mistakes. I find myself trying to protect him and camp is a place where kids have the opportunity to learn to be themselves and make mistakes. And learn from those mistakes and try again."

    Tom: "It's hard for a parent that hasn't been to camp before to have the experience, and to understand the experience, and to know how professional camp directors build a physically and emotionally safe place where young adult mentors and camp professionals create these opportunities for kids in ways that we, parents, can't do by ourselves."

    Tom: "At camp kids learn different ideas, like learning to accept that you and I might agree to disagree about something. At camp kids have the freedom to listen and communicate better with their friends about what they believe in. And even if they don't agree on everything, they learn to disagree amicably."

    Audrey: "In the world today, those communication skills, resolving conflicts and 'agreeing to disagree' are so important and many adults aren't modeling that. One of the great things about camp is that there are going to be conflicts in the group and that's what we want to happen. That's how kids learn to work through things and communicate."

    Tom: "Part of growing up and getting to go to camp is to have an opportunity to take some positive risks on a progressive basis, in a structured way, so that you take risks that you're ready for."

    Tom: "The Pure Research Center's study on teens, technology, and friendship found that just one out of four teens in the study were having daily out-of-school social contact time with a friend, in person. And that a great number of the new friendships that they were forming were digital. Only one out of five of those digital relationships were finding their way into the in-person realm."

    Audrey: "I'm finding that kids at camp really enjoy being off their technology when they're at camp. Just hanging out and making these really close friendships at camp is intense face-to-face time for them. It's very different now from their life outside of camp."

    Tom: "The Knowledge Works Foundation predicts that the most sought-after competencies for the best jobs for kids and young people in 2030-2040 are going to be those that, quite frankly, have camp skills. We're talking about problem-solving, critical thinking, creativity, coordinating with others, emotional intelligence. So camp is positioned to help kids develop a strong inner self that will allow them to be resilient and reflective. And build strong relationships."

    Tom: "If we do our jobs right, as parents, teachers, and camp directors, this generation will be, I hope, a generation of inventors, innovators, design thinkers, and creatives."

    Tom: "Here at the American Camp Association, we are looking to help provide camp and camp-like out-of-school-time experiences for every young person in our country."

    Tom: "What we're really trying to do is help young people and their parents bring those camp values like empathy, kindness, generosity, and compassion from camp home, from home to school, and from school and afterschool activities back to camp."

    Audrey: "We need to just continue to go out and 'camplify' the world. That's the basis of what we do. We want to bring the magic of connection, relationships, nature and appreciation of differences to the whole rest of the world."

    Topics We Discuss, Links, & Resources

    American Camp Association (ACA)

    Videos for Camp Parents (ACA)

    Accreditation (ACA Standards)

    Camp Kindness Day

    On July 20, the camp community will participate in Camp Kindness Day – an event highlighting the practice of intentional kindness that happens every day at American camps. This is an opportunity to raise awareness of the great work that camps are doing to teach kindness in engaging, simple, repeatable, and high impact ways that live on in the daily lives of campers and staff members when they return home.

    Focusing on our youth and young adults, Camp Kindness Day will help showcase the commitment of the camp community to fostering the core values of kindness, compassion, generosity, and care, and integrating those values more fully into every aspect of our society. These values are already part of the fabric of the camp experience. We share the mission for our youth to be nurtured, taught, supported, and inspired to grow into our new generation of kind, compassionate, socially-minded, community-oriented citizens.

    Camp Kindness Day will allow camps to incorporate into their July 20 programming fun theme-based activities and cooperative games, cool projects, and memorable moments which will celebrate the value and impact of kindness.

    About Tom Rosenberg, CEO of the American Camp Association

    Tom Rosenberg has a distinguished career in the camp profession and a long resume of service to ACA. He most recently served as the executive director of Camp Judaea in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Prior to Camp Judaea, Tom spent more than two decades with Blue Star Camps in North Carolina, most of those years as a director. Tom is a past national treasurer and board member of the ACA as well as a past board president and treasurer of ACA Southeastern. A founding board member of the North Carolina Youth Camp Association, Tom was awarded the Henderson County Chamber of Commerce's inaugural Camp Industry Leadership Award as well as the American Camp Association's National Honor Award and ACA Southeastern's Distinguished Service Award.

    With an educational focus in business, Tom graduated with distinction from the Marshall School of Business at the University of Southern California with an MBA and from the AB Freeman School of Business at Tulane University with a BS in Management. He is also a graduate of ACA's Camp Director Institute.

    Tom melds his experience in the camp profession with business expertise, inspirational vision, successful fundraising experience, professional agility, organizational skills, and strategic focus — attributes that are essential to achieving success as ACA's President/CEO. We are indeed fortunate to have such a thoughtful, dedicated, and experienced leader who is willing to take his commitment to camp, youth development, and ACA to a greater level. Tom, his wife Pam Sugarman, and their son Daniel live in Atlanta, Georgia.

    Links & Resources

    American Camp Association (ACA)

    Parent Blog (ACA)

    Find a Camp (ACA's searchable database)

    Accreditation (ACA Standards)

    Kindness Evolution

    Related Posts

    Ep. 87: The Impact of Camp Experiences

    Ep. 46: Camp Kindness Day (2018)

    Research Finds Children Learn Social Skills at Camp

    5 Reasons Not to Worry While Your Kids are at Camp

    The Power of Kindness

    Too Much Screen Time? 4 Ways Summer Camp Can Help

    Happy Campers, 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

    If you're interested in joining a group conversation, seeing videos and additional resources related to Happy Campers, visit the book page.


    Ep. 174: The Magic of Camp (Happy Campers Book Excerpt) Jun 04, 2021
    Show notes

    HAPPY CAMPERS: 10 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Indendent, Capable Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

    Let HAPPY CAMPERS serve as a resource you'll refer back to throughout your parenting years as you connect with your kids, create a positive family culture, and coach your kids to grow their kindness, optimism, grit, responsibility, independence, and friendship skills.

    Learn ways to better connect with your kids, implement positive parenting practices, and help your family thrive, all during your busy days at home, at work, or on the go.

    Thank you for joining me in raising kids who become thriving adults!


    [ENCORE] Ep. 39: How to Handle Your Camper's Homesickness Jun 04, 2021
    Show notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more episodes & resources.

    Subscribe for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families.

    In Episode 39, Sara Kuljis (of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp) and I continue our conversations and advice for parents new to the overnight camp experience.

    In Episode 37, we talked about how to prepare yourself and your camper for overnight summer camp. In this episode, we talk about preventing homesickness before camp starts as well as handling your child's homesickness once they are at camp!

    Prefer to watch our video chat instead of listening to the podcast?

    Resources/Related:

    Ep. 173: Homesick and Happy with Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

    10 Messages for a Homesick Camper

    Homesickness Help

    Secondary Homesickness: When Your Camper Doesn't Want to go Back to Camp

    Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable

    More information about Audrey's new book is here: Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

    In Happy Campers, Audrey shares what she's learned from three decades of creating a culture where kids become happier while gaining important social and emotional skills. The book is based on her thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, her academic research in positive psychology, and interviews with camp directors from across the country.


    [ENCORE] Ep. 91: 4 Reasons Not to Worry While Your Kid is at Camp May 28, 2021
    Show notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more episodes & resources.

    Subscribe for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families.

    In Episode 91, I'm chatting with my longtime friend and fellow camp director, Maria Horner. Maria and her husband, Tom, have been the executive directors of Catalina Island Camps since 1995. We discuss four reasons why parents don't need to worry while their child is at camp this summer.

    1. You have chosen a camp program that's accredited by the American Camp Association. This means that the camp meets the ACA's high standards to ensure a safe and nurturing environment for your child.

    2. You have been in touch with the camp director. Always be upfront with any issues your child may be dealing with so that the staff can be prepared to help them. Take time review at all the material that the camp has sent you ahead of time and phone them with any questions you may have.

    3. You have prepared your child for the experience:

    • You've allowed your child the opportunity to sleep away from home with adults other than parents.
    • You've reviewed the materials from the camp with your child.
    • You've packed for camp together so they know what they are bringing with them.
    • You've talked to your child about camp, focusing on the fun. Develop strategies with your child to address anything they may be feeling nervous about.
    • You've expressed confidence in your child. Say, "I know you're going to have a great time and enjoy this!"

    4. You have prepared yourself for the experience:

    • Manage your expectations.
    • Be realistic about contact with your child while they're gone.
    • Don't over analyze the communication you do get from your child.
    Quotes

    Audrey: "One of the reasons not to worry is actually the amount of training we do with our staff."

    Maria: "You chose an accredited camp, so if you're coming to my camp, or if you're going to any other camps in your Happy Campers group, those camps are all accredited by the American Camp Association, which means that those camps care enough to undergo a thorough peer review of its operation. And that includes everything from staff quality and training to emergency management--all things that they're doing voluntarily to ensure that their program is top notch."

    Maria: "Camp professionals from around the country can volunteer to be what we call standards visitors. So every five years, a team of trained standards visitors go into each accredited camp and observe, both through documentation and practices actually in place, based on the identified standards, to see that the camps are in compliance with all of them."

    Maria: "If you're going to allow me to take care of your child for two or three or four weeks during the summer, I'd actually think it stranger if you don't want to talk to me first. I would imagine you would want to know who's the person in charge of the place where your child's going to be spending a lot of time. Pick up the phone and actually talk to the person who is running the show."

    Maria: "I really encourage parents to be as upfront and transparent about your child as possible. We can do a lot at our camp and we can do it way more successfully when we know in advance. If we have to spend a few days figuring out what's going on with the kid, either socially or behaviorally, or even with their food issues, that's time lost. If we knew that up front, we would be able to meet those needs right from the very beginning."

    Maria: "Get online and watch videos from camp. Besides our promotional videos, we have a program with our go-pro cameras and the kids make videos every summer. And that's a great way to get an insight into what camp looks like through the eyes of our campers."

    Maria: "I think you really want to focus on the fun when you talk with your child. I think definitely engage your child in conversation to get a sense of their excitement level and if there are things that they are nervous about, you work together to develop strategies for the child to be able to address those."

    Maria: "It's okay for me to be nervous, as a mom. It's not okay for me to project that onto my child."

    Audrey: "What I really want parents to communicate to their kids is: 'Hey, at camp there are all these adults there to help you have a great experience. So if you need anything and I'm not there, here are some people you can talk to: your counselor, the camp director Maria, the head counselors.' I think that if you look on the website, or call the camp, you can find out who those people are. I think that empowering your kid to talk to those people is really important."

    Audrey: "I do think we are very connected with our kids, which is a good thing and close relationships are fantastic. But the dark side is that it makes it a little harder--when your child's doing something independent from you--for you to have the separation."

    Maria: "One of the things that I often tell parents is to really take advantage of this opportunity. Consider what it means to have some time either just to yourself or for you and your spouse together. That doesn't happen very often in the craziness of life and raising children."

    Maria: "We tell kids, it's okay to miss home when you're at camp. You can miss home and still have fun at camp at the same time. Those two things aren't in conflict with one another. The same thing is true for the parent's side. Of course, you miss your child and worry about them. That's to be expected. And you can still allow them to have this amazing growth experience, even if you're a little bit nervous.

    Audrey: "Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself. Spend some more time on a hobby you haven't had time for, go out to dinner, go to movies--there's nothing wrong with that. And actually, you giving your child the gift of a more relaxed, happier parent when they get home from camp is amazing."

    Maria: "It okay to have an incredible experience not all together. It's okay to let your child do fun things without you and it's okay to do fun things without them."

    Audrey: "It's always this kind of mixed bag; you're excited for your kid when they have some new adventure or get some great job far away, but then you're also like, 'Oh bummer. They're kind of far away.' I think always keeping these things in mind that it's okay to have both feelings."

    Resources & Related Posts

    5 Reasons NOT to Worry While Your Kids are at Camp

    100 Questions about Summer Camp

    Why choose an ACA accredited camp?

    Happy Campers Camps

    What are good questions to ask when selecting a camp program?

    Ep. 10: Homesick & Happy with Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

    Ep. 76: Partnering with Your Child's Camp Director

    Ep. 37: How to Prepare for Overnight Summer Camp

    Ep. 87: The Impact of Camp Experiences

    How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims

    How Camp Helps Parents Raise Adults

    Other Podcast Episodes with Maria Horner:

    Ep. 22: Jedi Mom Tricks, Part 1

    Ep. 33: Jedi Mom Tricks, Part 2

    Ep. 42: Jedi Mom Tricks, Part 3

    Ep. 64: Home for the Holidays

    Links

    American Camp Association


    [ENCORE] Ep. 87: The Impact of Camp Experiences with Laurie Browne, Ph.D. May 21, 2021
    Show notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more episodes & resources.

    In this episode of the podcast, I interview Dr. Laurie Browne, Director of Research for the American Camp Association, about the five-year camp impact study being done by an external research team through the University of Utah. The study explores the lasting impacts and the ways camp experiences prepare young people for college, their careers, and their lives beyond camp.

    I hope you enjoy this conversation with Laurie and learn more about the incredible research that's finding that camp truly does have an amazingly positive impact on the development of young people.

    BIG IDEAS
    • The ACA wants to make sure that camps thrive into the next century and that they serving more campers and in better ways.
    • The heart of this five-year study consists of three major components: the youth, the staff, and leadership development. Its objective is to determine the lasting impacts of camp and the interplay between camp, school, home, and future jobs. Through this study of over 500 families, they will identify camp's role in the "learning landscape".
    • The data collection and analysis is being done by an independent research institution outside of the ACA through the University of Utah.
    • We discuss:
      • the outcomes and benefits for parents who prioritize camp.
      • the importance of having other adults to mentor our children, especially the positive influence of camp counselors.
      • what families and schools can learn from camp
      • having campers reflect on what they learned at camp so they can apply it to real life situations.
    QUOTES

    LAURIE: "This is a multi-layered study which builds off itself, starting with qualitative approaches, interviews, and surveys. Then the findings were quantified and a longitudinal study was designed which is tracking campers and their families over time."

    LAURIE: "We've known for generations that camp does great things for kids. But I think the environment is far more ready for the type of social, emotional learning related outcomes that camp provides. We've known for a hundred years that camp promotes things like relationship skills, but only now we are seeing in the education, mental health, college and career readiness spaces, the value of relationship skills. We have employers saying that is the number one skill they expect in college graduates. That is harder and harder to find."

    AUDREY: "Other places (school, sports) have another focus that is their most important priority (academics, sports skills) but at camp, our number one focus is on the community building, the cultural building, and training our counselors to facilitate friendships and relationships among campers."

    LAURIE: "It all layers on top of one another, the interplay between camp and school and home. All the spaces work together to create a thriving, successful child. And now we know that camp plays a very unique—even critical—role in that overall landscape."

    LAURIE: We're interested in the family dynamic around camp. How do families choose to go to camp? How do they integrate camp with the other things in their lives? (In this study) parents are emerging as beneficiaries and have their own outcomes relating to camp. We're specifically having parents share with us the value and benefits to them of sending their kids to camp, day camp and overnight camp. Parents are recognizing that kids come home and in many cases, are more active citizens in the family. So it improves family processes when they send their kids to camp. But specifically, in overnight camp experiences, parents are saying, 'I'm a better parent. I get some time to connect with my partner, to engage in some of the things I don't always get to do when I am busy caretaking.' Then when the kids come back, they are really happy so as a family unit, it brings all kinds of benefits to parents as well."

    AUDREY: "I've heard from many parents that it's almost a relief to know their children are being taken care of. They can relax. They don't need to be monitoring, following, texting. It's a much-needed break for parents who feel so much pressure to be so involved with everything. For so many parents who are working and taking care of kids, their lives are so full that what often gets neglected is their own well-being and what brings them happiness."

    AUDREY: "I tell parents to use the time when their kids are at camp to have their own 'camp' type of well-being experience: be with your spouse, your friends, do hobbies that you don't normally have time to do, so that when your kids come home and have all these great things to share about what they've done, you can share, too."

    LAURIE: "We have to cultivate happiness by doing things other than work and caregiving. It's an investment in our own well-being and we are better parents when we make that investment. I think as mothers we feel really inclined to set aside our well-being for our kids. But now there's so much dialogue around the importance of our time away from kids and to know that your child is thriving because they're apart from you, is literally one of the findings we are seeing."

    LAURIE: "The opportunity for kids to practice a sense of independence and from that, they can develop a true sense of responsibility and not just that they do their chores but they see themselves as a responsible contributor to their family, to their community and they get to practice that at camp. There are benefits to campers and parents."

    AUDREY: "Even if you don't send your kids to camp ever, it's important to find other adults who can mentor your kids because there are some things that your kids either won't do with you there or will be more tentative about trying. It's okay for parents to know that you're not supposed to be able to teach your child everything. That's why you have teachers at school, sports coaches, camp counselors…So much of who my kids are is because of these amazing role models. How fun for them to get to learn from and interact with other adults. That's the other lesson that camp can provide for parents: You don't have to feel like you're alone in this."

    LAURIE: "Camp counselors are simply younger and more relatable than a lot of the adults that kids encounter in other spaces of their lives. That closeness in age is a really critical opportunity not just for mentorship but for kids to see themselves as an emerging adult. Camp counselors seem attainable. Our staff members are the ones that are really modeling these outcomes, facilitating opportunities to learn and helping those outcomes to stick over time."

    AUDREY: "I think parents looking at camps need to know that you don't need a fancy facility or fancy equipment. It really is all about the camp counselors—how they treat kids and how focused they are on the kids as their top priority."

    LAURIE: "A culture of caring, a culture of inclusiveness, a culture of belonging is created by all the people combined. We have staff, and then we have campers, but you put all of them together with the traditions and the norms of camp and that creates a culture that in and of itself is so powerful as a mechanism for lasting learning. It's about intentional culture building around care, safety, and inclusiveness—it's really what matters.

    LAURIE: "What a great opportunity to practice being a member of a community that isn't their family—especially in adolescence. As kids grow up, they have to be able to see themselves in worlds outside of their homes. That's a critical part of their developmental process."

    LAURIE: "Kids are making connections between camp and home and school. What a great opportunity for parents, educators and camp professionals to help bring more visibility to those linkages. Help campers identify the connections between them."

    AUDREY: "We have kids reflect before they leave camp about what they're going to bring home with them. We ask them, 'what have you learned here that you're going to use in your life' and it's amazing to hear them articulate what they're going to take back. They learn these great things but they need to take the time to figure out how they're going to translate this to the rest of their life, the other weeks of the year beyond camp."

    LAURIE: "Research is exciting, but it really doesn't matter near as much as what really amazing camp professionals are doing with campers and staff. That's where the magic happens."

    LINKS

    American Camp Association

    The Camp Impact Study

    Susan Pinker- The Village Effect Ted Talk

    RELATED POSTS/PODCASTS

    Research finds Children Learn Social Skills at Camp

    Why Kids Flourish at Camp

    Ep. 32: 10 Benefits of Summer Camp for Teens


    [ENCORE] Ep. 132: Creating Structure, Fun, and Connection May 20, 2021
    Show notes

    Show Notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more episodes & resources.

    Join my PATREON squad for special perks, including bonus podcast episodes, exclusive posts, and resources.

    Subscribe for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families.

    Let's all take a few nice, long, deep breaths.

    Hi Friends,

    We'll be needing a lot more deep breathing in these coming weeks!

    This week's episode is a recording of a live webinar Sara Kuljis & I did earlier this week. Our topic was Creating Structure, Fun, & Connection while we have our kids home and have a whole lot of unstructured time on our hands.

    Participants shared many amazing resources, which I have included in this post (scroll down). If you'd prefer a downloadable PDF (with links), use the sign-up box below.

    While this is a challenging time, we can also view it as an opportunity to evaluate, do a reset and add in more fun and connection to our family lives.

    Please send me your challenges, questions, and feedback. I'd love to connect!

    Stay well!

    Big Ideas

    Connection is weaved through everything we do. Try weaving some connection into the structure of your day - a walk with the dog, family dinner, or a nightly game or puzzle are all great options!

    STRUCTURE

    The schedule at home will not be the same as at school, and that's okay. But it's good for there to be some predictability. For kids who have synchronous classes, their schedule will be dictated by their online classes. For younger kids, or those who do not have scheduled online classes, consider having guidelines about getting school work done before other activities or in the morning.

    Instead of following a rigid schedule, consider using a "Daily Checklist." This allows kids (and parents) some autonomy to choose when to do different things. We're all feeling a lack of control right now, so giving our kids some choices (when possible) is helpful. Audrey's daughter, Gretchen, created a checklist for her high school students that works well for adults, too. It incorporates not just the school work, but the other things that will make us feel emotionally and physically healthy.

    Read more and download Gretchen's checklist for her high school students (that also works for adults)!

    REMEMBER THE "ESSENTIALS"

    I talked with Dr. Jess Shatkin about the "Triumvirate of Good Health" (Sleep, Exercise, Nutrition) in Episode 24. Now's a good opportunity to look at how we (and our kids) are doing in those important areas!

    It's also important to attend to your kids' emotional needs during this unsettled time, listening and empathizing with them over their losses and frustrations, some of which may seem trivial from an adult perspective. Rather than discounting their feelings, we need to validate their emotions and show empathy. I made this one-minute video about validating kids' feelings a few years ago. It seems especially applicable right now.

    This is also an excellent opportunity to make sure your family has enough of each of what Challenge Success calls "PDF": Playtime, Downtime, & Family Time. These are common-sense strategies to promote health and well-being. Download Challenge Success PDF for Elementary-Age Kids Download Challenge Success PDF for Teens

    CONNECTION & FUN

    Try having at least one meal together. If you haven't been able to have family dinner, try starting now! And let the kids cook or help you cook!

    Do some sort of family sharing.

    If your family has a faith tradition, consider watching a live-stream of the service or listening to a podcast together.

    Exercise together! Get outside if you can to walk, hike, run, or bike. If you have a ping pong table, basketball hoop, or trampoline, take advantage of those resources. Or, stream a fitness or dance video to do together. It could be good for a laugh trying to attempt some new dance or yoga moves!

    Cultivate gratitude during these stressful times. With your family, name people, things, experiences and opportunities you are grateful for. Gratitude builds hope, stamina and a kind of "emotional immunity," and helps us feel less alone. Model how to keep moving forward for our children.

    Read together. Consider doing a family read aloud of one of your favorite books.

    Come up with a hobby or new activity you can try together, either in pairs or as a whole family.

    Pull out some games or puzzles. Learn a new card game to play together.

    Want more ideas? Check out these resources, curated by Audrey & Sara and shared by webinar participants:

    Family Activity Ideas & Resources
    • My son is 12 and really misses playing with his friends. We take our whole family (son 12, daughter 8) and throw and catch a football on the beach. We only last a half hour or so, but they love it. Also we bike a lot and that is great with social distancing.
    • We are doing a lot of reading aloud. Right now my kids are LOVING the book "Ungifted". It makes us laugh a lot.
    • Went for a walk and did physical distancing with my 23 year old niece yesterday to connect with her. Books - it is nice to step away and get into a story.
    • Reading out loud with kids while they work on puzzles/legos.
    • There are several restaurants in my town that are offering pick up. I'm taking my daughter a few times a week to pick up her favorite lunch and walk to the beach to eat.
    • If you have access to fleece via amazon or elsewhere kids can make fleece blankets for a group called Project Linus. They are easy to make and fun to do while chatting or listening to music .
    • Beetles Project - resources usually for outdoor educators, but in these times, perhaps for families, too
    • Coursera classes are often free and wonderful. My daughters and I did a Yale course on the science of well being and I highly recommend it.
    • For families of the Christian faith, I think this is a great time for family bible studies or book clubs, too.
    • We've started asking our kids to research something and bring fun facts to dinner to share with all of us. Funnily, our son thought I asked him to bring facts about Candyland instead of Canyonlands, a place we want to visit, so last night we got a great laugh over the miscommunication!
    • 20 Screen Free Things to do with Your Kids Indoors
    • Watch a TV series together.
    • Take a virtual trip to a museum
    • Another virtual museum list (Travel & Leisure)
    Self-Care Ideas & Resources
    • Peloton App - yoga, strength workouts, outdoor run/walks and treadmill/spin bike workouts
    • I do the Calm app each morning with my husband, plus 7 minutes of Pranayama (free app) first. We've been doing that for the past 3 years, so nice to already have established.
    Academic/Educational Opportunities
    • PBS Kids for Parents provides resources on things like how to talk to your children about Coronavirus as well as activities to do together .
    • PBS LearningMedia helps you design at-home learning across grade levels .
    • DreamBox is offering free 90 day accounts for online math resources grades K-8.
    • BrainPOP is offering free accounts to students of closed schools, and has short videos on a wide range of subjects with quizzes to take afterward.
    • Outschool - online classes for homeschoolers and is offering discounts during school shutdown
    • KQED TV will be broadcasting educational programming aligned with state standards .
    Activities kids can do independently (or, for younger kids, after setting them up)
    • Bitsbox - coding for kids
    • Creative Bug - online art classes for kids and adults
    • Hulu (galinaatencio)
    • The CEO Kid - very cool program for kids to brainstorm and walk step by step thru starting a business
    • The Jackbox Party Pack on AppleTV for super fun multiplayer games.
    • Write in names of favorite books & color (from My Ideal Bookshelf)
    • Let's Doodle Together
    • Audible is streaming kids books for free while schools are closed!!
    • Let Grow's Independence Kit

    https://letgrow.org/free-curriculum-independence-kit

    Final Encouragements

    "Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."

    - Corrie Ten Boom

    Watch Facebook Live (webinar was streamed) Further Listening (or Reading)

    Ready for Adulthood

    Ep. 124: Promoting Mental Health

    Ep. 130: Uncluttering our Schedules & our Homes

    https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/coronavirus-homeschooling-parent-strategies/

    https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/strategies-for-grieving-children

    https://letgrow.org/social-distancing/


    Ep. 173: Homesick and Happy with Michael Thompson, Ph.D. May 14, 2021
    Show notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more posts, podcast episodes, and free downloadable resources.

    Best-selling author of nine books, child development expert, and psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D. talks about "good enough" parenting and the benefits of summer camp and other away-from-parents experiences. Hear tips from on expert on how to help kids grow their decision-making, self-reliance, and independence. About Michael

    For nearly thirty-five years, Michael Thompson, Ph.D. has worked as a clinical psychologist, school consultant and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools and parenting. He's authored nine books focusing on the emotional lives of boys, friendships and social cruelty in childhood, the impact of summer camp experiences on child development, the tensions that arise in the parent-teacher relationships, and psychological aspects of school leadership. Michael's work with independent schools and public school districts throughout the United States, and with international schools in Europe, Asia and South America takes him to about fifty schools a year to lead workshops for teachers, administrators, parents and students.

    Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow

    Every child has to practice being independent and every parent has to practice letting his or her child be independent.

    Most kids feel some apprehension before going on their first adventure away from home without parents. Many parents are also nervous about the separation from their child, especially if your camper is expressing anxiety about going away to camp.

    The biggest source of parental concern is often how your child will handle the separation from you and if they will experience negative emotions, often referred to as "homesickness," while at camp. While most kids do not feel extreme symptoms of homesickness at camp, many experience emotional challenges during their first (and subsequent) experiences at summer camp and other away-from-parent experiences. These feelings are normal and are something that we have helped many campers work through. Campers feel a great sense of accomplishment when they successfully overcome the challenge of homesickness, and we encourage you to view this experience through the lens of the long-term positive outcomes for your child.

    Homesick and Happy, by Michael Thompson, Ph.D., is an excellent resource, not only as you prepare to send your child to camp this summer, but also as you think about and prepare your child for other future adventures away from you (like college!).

    Quotes from Homesick & Happy

    Children want to be independent, and they realize that they cannot be truly independent until they beat homesickness, even when they have a painful case of it.

    At sleepaway camp, campers send an average of zero texts per day. Into the space created flows a bunch of old-fashioned human behaviors: eye-to-eye contact, physical affection, spontaneous running and jumping, or simple wandering.

    Resources/Related

    Michael Thompson's Website

    Ep. 10: Homesick & Happy with Michael Thompson

    Ep. 39: How to Handle Your Camper's Homesickness

    How to Respond to a Homesick Letter from Your Camper

    Homesickness Dos & Don'ts

    10 Messages for a Homesick Camper

    Secondary Homesickness: When Your Camper doesn't want to go BACK to Camp


    Ep. 172: Screen-Free Week with Jean Rogers May 07, 2021
    Show notes

    Visit Sunshine Parenting for more resources & episodes.

    In this episode, Jean Rogers, Director of the Children's Screen Time Action Network, and I talk about children's well-being, ways to maximize your family's screen-free time together, and fun resources for celebrating Screen-Free Week.

    Jean and I talked about The Social Dilemma (documentary) in Ep. 159 of the podcast. You can listen to that episode here.

    I joined Jean and Lenore Skenazy on an Action Network Live webinar "Let them make pancakes: Helping kids flourish during a camp-less, COVID-19 summer."

    About Jean Rogers

    Jean Rogers is the Director of the Children's Screen Time Action Network, where she leads a coalition of practitioners, educators, advocates, and parents who collaborate on practical methods to reduce children's time on screens and digital devices, mitigate the dangers, and preserve childhood in the digital age. Jean is the host of Action Network Live!, a webcast bringing experts to parents on how screens impact all aspects of child development. She writes a weekly blog and speaks widely to parents, teachers and activists, empowering them to implement simple solutions to a complex 21st century parenting challenge.

    Jean earned Masters' degrees in Education and Parenting Education at Wheelock College, where she took up the mantel of Susan Linn and Diane Levin, trailblazers in media literacy, play-based learning, and avoiding a commercialized childhood. Prior to working at the Action Network, Jean was a freelance marketing writer, illuminating products and services for nonprofit and business clients. She was also a music teacher, director of a large church school, and a college writing center consultant. Her greatest role is mother to 5 children.

    Screen Free Week Resources

    Screen-Free Week is an annual invitation to play, explore, and rediscover the joys of life beyond ad-supported screens. During the first week of May, thousands of families, schools, and communities around the world will put down their entertainment screens for seven days of fun, connection, and discovery.

    Even though it's about turning off screens, Screen-Free Week isn't about going without – it's about what you can get! An hour once dedicated to YouTube becomes an hour spent outside; ten minutes whiled away on social media turn into ten minutes spent doodling; a movie on a rainy afternoon is replaced by time spent reading, chatting, or playing pretend!

    You can celebrate Screen-Free Week at home, in your school, in your community, or anywhere – just put down those entertainment screens and do literally anything else! You might be surprised at what you find.

    About Screen Free Week

    Resources for Families & Individuals

    Screen-Free Saturdays

    Images Related Posts/Episodes

    Salsa & Sunshine Walk & Talk #7 (Screen-Free Week)

    9 Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

    Ep. 159: The Social Dilemma with Jean Rogers

    [Encore] Ep. 116: Why We Need to Unplug to Connect with our Families

    Ep. 96: Unplugged & Happy at Camp

    Ep. 35: Unplugging Your Family with Jill Stribling

    My 24 Hours Unplugged

    Ep. 17: Unplugged Middle School Lunch with Rebecca Gogel

    Why We Need to Unplug to Connect with Our Families

    5 Reasons to UNPLUG

    Get Unplugged

    Ep. 7: Family Pace and Space with Sara Kuljis

    Raise Thriving Kids Workshop Wait List


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