Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

Latest Episodes:

Healing Your Heart Faster Than Expected Aug 15, 2022

Show notes

I see you. You’re really in the thick of it with your heartbreak, and you feel like you’re never going to feel better, or you just can’t imagine a time when you aren’t aching with a broken heart. That’s why this week I am back with another guest and client, Sheeva, who is here to share her story of healing her heart. In this episode, you’ll hear all about Sheeva’s journey from heartbroken, to being a podcast listener, and then making the jump to being a client in my group program. You’ll also hear about how she really dove in head first to the work, and because of that, how she was able to heal her heart faster than she ever thought possible. Her story is so beautiful and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

Even though every single person is different, and their heartbreak stories and situations may differ, I believe it is so helpful to hear each other’s stories and be able to apply things that work for them to our own journeys. It’s one of the many reasons I believe in the work in my group program- seeing others getting coached may unlock something for you in a whole new way and just continue to up-level your own healing. If you are looking to heal your heart and find love, then I invite you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/.

Topics In This Episode

There’s no right or wrong timeline for heartbreak
A major component for allowing the work to work
Learning how to have compassion for yourself and to feel your emotions
Giving yourself permission to feel the pain
Doing the work without being attached to an immediate outcome or result
Deciding for yourself what works for you and what doesn’t - in coaching, and in your dating life

Resources

I’m also really excited to share with you the upcoming webinar I created called, “Will He Come Back?” This webinar is really focused on those who are still really in the thick of it with their heartbreak. I know that when we’re heartbroken, this is one of those repetitive thoughts or desires that we have surrounding them coming back and fixing things and no longer being heartbroken. You are not alone. Dive in on getting the answers to your questions and healing your heart. To learn more about this webinar, go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/willhecomeback.

PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Settling For Crumbs Aug 08, 2022

Show notes

This is a topic that I know I’ve talked about across many episodes, but I wanted to set aside an entire episode on settling for crumbs because it’s something that I know I have done, as well as many of my clients. And until you are able to recognize the why and the how, it will just keep repeating itself, which won’t bring you to a happy and fulfilling relationship. One client that I know has dealt with this a lot in her recent dating past is my friend, colleague, and guest coach in my group coaching program, Katie Johnston, who I’ve asked to join me in this episode. Together we talk about what it looks like when we settle for crumbs, why we do it, and what it takes to really break the habit so that you can stop settling and instead, ask for what you need and get it in return.

Topics In This Episode

Falling in love with your life and yourself in a whole new way

The timeline for healing your relationship with yourself

Recognizing when what they’re giving you is not enough

Different ways in which he’s not showing up for you and he’s offering crumbs

Not everyone will be compatible and able to meet your needs, but your person will be

You will keep attracting the crumbs until you say no

Resources

Previous episode, When He Wants Space

Episode 5, My Heartbreak Story

Part 1 of the empath mini-series, Empath-Life in Romantic Relationships

I say it in almost every episode, the coaching that I share might not suit every situation or your specific circumstances. If you are looking to get really clear and focused coaching for your exact situation, I invite you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/.

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When He Wants Space Aug 01, 2022

Show notes

There are so many times in my past when I was told that I was just too much for someone, particularly in my dating relationships. I have an anxious-attachment style, and my love language is definitely quality time. When I’m with someone, I just want to be with them! But inevitably, it would be too much for whoever I was dating, and they would tell me that they needed space from me, leading me to feel shameful about my needs and needing to spend time with them.

I know that I am not the only one who has felt this before because I have heard this same thing from my clients who are struggling with trying not to be “too much”. If you have an anxious-attachment style or your love language is quality time, or even a quantity of time, this episode is definitely for you. Let’s take a look at those moments when they tell you that they need space, what you’re making it mean, and how to get what you need from the person that you are dating.

My love, you are worth getting everything that you want from the relationship that you are in. If you are falling in love with Mr. Unavailable or are struggling with asking for what you need, then I highly encourage you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Negotiables versus nonnegotiables in your love life
Am I being needy?
Owning your love language and attachment style
Letting someone else’s opinion about your needs influence your thoughts about your needs
Old traumas showing up, even in your ideal relationship
What it looks like when someone is unavailable
Your ideal person wants what you want

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Heartbreak on Vacation Jul 25, 2022

Show notes

How often have you looked forward to a vacation as a chance to get away from it all and forget about your life for a bit? I recently went on an amazing trip to Cabo San Lucas with my partner Larry, and it got me thinking about what it’s like to be on vacation with a broken heart. I know for many of us, we look forward to these trips as a way to heal us or to just forget about our problems for a while, but when you’re in the thick of a broken heart, it just isn’t that simple. No matter how much healing you do and how secure you are in your ideal relationship, triggers and trauma responses can and will still show up. In this episode, we get clear on our expectations around taking a trip and I share my 5 tips for navigating heartbreak on vacation.

If maybe this episode wasn’t super specific to you or what you’re going through right now, then I highly encourage you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the work for someone else may be completely different from what you need. That is why it is so important to dive in and hire a coach. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Getting clear on your decision to take a vacation
The trip is not the solution to your heartbreak
Some of the results that you may experience on your vacation
How do you expect to heal your heart if you’re constantly running?
Being able to recognize action steps you can take that will create the result of healing your heart
Retail therapy and treating yourself in your heartbreak
Establishing boundaries so that you are taking the best care of yourself

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Airing Dirty Laundry to Friends Jul 18, 2022

Show notes

I think it’s natural for us to share things with our loved ones, our wins, our challenges, and even difficulties in our love lives. Sometimes we just really need to vent about something, but what if that venting and sharing is actually doing damage to your relationship or the relationship with your loved ones? There’s a difference between sharing things with a coach and sharing things with your friends and family members, and it can create lasting effects with those you love. In this episode, I talk about who I personally choose to share things with, creating boundaries with my friends and loved ones, and how I coach my clients through challenges and difficulties they are facing in their love lives.

If you are looking for a safe space to air your dirty laundry and get coached, please apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the work for someone else may be completely different from what you need. That is why it is so important to dive in and hire a coach. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Being so solid in your relationship that you’re not worried what others think
Consulting with others can make things tricky
The consequences of sharing about your love life with friends and family
Moving through the discomfort of your loved ones holding on to negative thoughts about your partner
A pivotal conversation I had with a friend in the journey of healing my heart
Working with clients who aren’t feeling willing to make a change in unhealthy relationships
When you know you’re in a really healthy relationship

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

The Lies We Tell Ourselves When Dating Jul 11, 2022

Show notes

So you’ve healed your heart, fallen in love with you, and you are out there on the dating scene to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. But are you actually ready to find that love? Or, are you telling yourself little white lies about your dating life which might actually be holding you back from finding your person? Let’s take a look at six stories you may be telling yourself which might seem like no big deal, when in fact, they are keeping you in the suffering and from finding love. If you missed last week’s episode, The Lies We Tell Ourselves In Heartbreak, be sure to give that a listen if you are still in your heartbreak and ways you may be holding yourself back.

And if you are looking for coaching on your specific situation, please apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the work for someone else may be completely different from what you need. That is why it is so important to dive in and hire a coach. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

The 3 steps for stopping wanting him back
Living in denial is a way of avoiding pain
Is he actually busy? Or is he just not making time for you?
Going too fast, too soon
Allowing yourself to not be ok when things don’t work out
Listen when someone tells you who they are, and what they’re looking for
Can you ignore someones texts?
Saying no after you’ve said yes

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

The Lies We Tell Ourselves In Heartbreak Jul 04, 2022

Show notes

Here’s the deal. You’re already suffering in your heartbreak, and you may be telling yourself some sneaky little lies to make yourself feel better. But when you tell yourselves these lies, you end up perpetuating the suffering. And not only that, but you’re keeping yourself from becoming the healed version of you that will be able to call in Mr. or Ms. Right. Some of these lies have come up for clients in my group coaching program, and they are things that I have definitely heard other women say. So in this episode, I share with you the five lies you tell yourself in heartbreak, and we dive into how they are holding you back, and the coaching I gave my clients that allowed them to free themselves from heartbreak.

If you are looking to really get deeper on your situation, healing your heart, and cleaning up your stories, then I invite you to join my program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Recognizing the stories we tell ourselves
What’s required in order for things to go back to the way it was in the beginning
When we blame ourselves and what we make that mean
No contact may be difficult, but staying in contact derails your healing
Staying with the thought when all you want to do is move out of it
Empty promises for the future that they cannot promise
The reformed version of you doesn’t have time for the current version of him

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Going To The Hardware Store Looking For Bread Jun 27, 2022

Show notes

You might not know it, but I’ll bet that you have gone to the hardware store looking for bread. This is something my former therapist used to say to me and I had forgotten about this phrase until someone said it recently. And the more I thought about it, I realized that there are actually a couple of different ways this may apply to you and your heartbreak and dating life.

Have you dated someone, or maybe you’re currently dating someone, who just can’t give you what you need or want? Maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. Or, let’s say you just really need some advice about your relationship so you reach out to friends or a family member, maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. In this episode, let’s look more at what this means, and how you can go to the right place to get exactly what it is you need.

If you are looking for expert advice and coaching in the area of heartbreak, dating, and finding love, I invite you to join my program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

A recent, awesome win for one of my clients!
He can’t give you something he doesn’t have
How much time you should spend with someone when you’re newly dating
You don’t have to be available for every time he asks you to go out
Navigating your dating life after a traumatic situation

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

How to Bottle Up The Good Feels Jun 20, 2022

Show notes

Let’s say you’re on a fun date, or maybe you’re even spending time with friends and you think, “How can I bottle this moment up so that I can feel access these feelings again later?” This happened with a client recently who wanted to know how she can capture the happiness and good feels in the moment so that when she’s not feeling so good in the future, she can access these feelings again. In this episode, I share with you the coaching I gave her on bottling up those good feels, and how to manage those moments when things aren’t feeling so great so that you can move through them with self-compassion and you can access the good feels again.

This is the third part of a 3-part series based on some coaching I gave my clients in my group program a couple of weeks back and they said that it absolutely blew their minds. I highly recommend if you want to sink your teeth deeper into this work with me and truly learn and feel like you are your best friend, join my program! There’s so much magic happening there with like-minded women just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Why this episode is so important
You won’t always feel the good feels
Sometimes the solution isn’t necessarily to move to a new thought in order to feel better
Needing to feel good all the time isn’t realistic
You can’t control how you’ll feel in the future
The work is to meet yourself where you’re at

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When The Right Thing Feels So Wrong Jun 13, 2022

Show notes

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all been there before: there’s something we need to do - whether that be to start an uncomfortable conversation, cut contact with an ex, or finally leave a relationship - and we just can’t bring ourselves to do it because it feels so wrong. We know that it’s the right move, but it’s hard to do because it doesn’t feel good. That’s what I’m talking about this week. This episode was inspired by a client in my group coaching program who was facing a situation that just didn’t feel good, and I coached her through taking the steps she needed to take so that she could do the thing she knew she needed to do.

I am fascinated by the conversations I have with people who don’t understand coaching. Some people think that it is fun and there’s nothing really tough when it comes to coaching. I would argue that while coaching with the right coach can lead to amazing results, it definitely requires you to go through the hard stuff in order to get there. Leaning into the discomfort and vulnerability is hard work. But when you make it through to the other side, you will see that the rewards are so worth every bit of it.

If you are stuck and maybe even avoiding doing something you know you need to do but it feels so wrong, I want to hear from you and I want to help coach you through it! I invite you to check out my 60-video course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better, where I take you step-by-step through the process of healing your heart, falling in love with you, and finding someone better. And if you are ready to really dive in and take your healing to the next level, I also have a one-year group coaching program, by the same name. To learn more and apply, go to my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Doing the right thing may feel so wrong, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t do it
Coaching through the triggers
You can still take action, even if it doesn’t feel good
Examining better feeling thoughts you can think
The essence of growth work
Being willing to feel emotional pain