Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

Latest Episodes:

Why SHE Has Love & I Don't Jan 02, 2023

Show notes

For some people, it just looks like life comes easy to them. Maybe they are successful in their career, or they have a great social life, or maybe they have an amazing loving family. This is something a client brought to me recently after watching the Netflix documentary about Harry and Meghan. If you haven’t watched it yet, at one point, Meghan shares that she decided to take time off, travel in Europe, and not worry about dating at all. She just wanted to be free and detached. But lo and behold, a literal prince was dropped in her lap when she was set up with Harry by a mutual friend, and the rest is history. So my client came to me and asked me “Why does she have love, and I don’t?”

Let me just say, I get it. When you’re doing the work, you’re healing your heart, you’re out there swiping, you’re dating with intention, it can be frustrating when you see it come so easily to others. Let’s talk about how we can reframe this so that instead of spending your energy wanting what someone else has, instead, you can focus on you and creating the love you desire. In this episode, I have a question for you that I want you to wake up asking yourself, every day. Let’s make this the year when you’re thinking “Let’s make 2023, all about me”.

Topics In This Episode

“It’s not fair”

What’s happening for her has nothing to do with you

Carving out time and energy on others when it should be focused on you

Do not wait to be happy

Being detached from finding your person

Not just accepting your life, but embracing it

You get to be the heroine of your love life, right now

Resources

This work is very nuanced. So if you want me to look at your specific situation and get coached on how to heal your heart, fall in love with yourself, and find someone better, I invite you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I now offer my group coaching program in six- and twelve-month options and have a payment plan available. If I was able to transform my life with this work, then I can coach you to get the results of healing your heart too. To learn more, visit my website at: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When You Like Someone New Dec 26, 2022

Show notes

Picture this. You have healed your heart, done the work, and you’re out there swiping and dating, ready again to find your person. You hit it off with someone and you start talking to them, maybe you’ve been out on a date or two, and then your brain starts to freak out. Am I liking them too much? Is this too fast? Am I following the same patterns and making the same decisions I did in the past which lead to heartbreak? My love, these thoughts will still come up even when you’re doing the work. Let’s take a look at what it means when you like someone new, some ways you can check yourself, and how you can show up differently.

This episode is coming out right at the height of the holiday season, and I know what it’s like to be heartbroken this time of the year. Two of the worst Christmases of my life were spent crippled over with heartbreak. Or maybe you’re lonely or a little hesitant to put yourself out there this time of the year. I want to invite you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I now offer my group coaching program in six- and twelve-month options and have a payment plan available. If I was able to transform my life with this work, then I can coach you to get the results of healing your heart too. To learn more, visit my website at: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com

Topics In This Episode

There’s no shame in heartbreak
Three questions you can use to check yourself when you like someone new
It’s ok to get excited!
Sticking to your plan to show up differently
You can’t fuck it up if they’re your person
Are you scared of getting hurt?
Anxiety surrounding dating and getting back out there
My advice for how available you should be to them in the early days

I’m excited to share that my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better, is back for the month of December 2022, and now includes 20 new videos. Plus, there’s a whole bonus dating guide, where I guide you through from the moment you match on the apps, all the way through to when you decide to make things exclusive. There will also be 5 live group-coaching calls in the month of February. So to learn more, be sure to go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/thecourse

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Covert Narcissism Dec 19, 2022

Show notes

I have shared on this podcast before about my experiences of dating narcissists, and the heartbreak I went through when those relationships ended. When I was heartbroken, I spent so much time trying to find the coach that I am today, someone to help me understand why I was falling for Mr. Unavailable, and how I could heal my heart and find my person. And that is exactly what I now have the honor to do.

This episode is inspired by a current client as I help her to get out of a relationship with someone who checks off all the boxes of being a covert narcissist. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be toxic, but because they keep drawing you in, it can feel impossible to leave. If you are dating a narcissist, this episode is for you. Or, if you dated a covert narcissist in the past and are struggling with the fallout and the heartbreak, this is for you. Let’s look at the signs of covert narcissism, what it looks like to date someone with this personality disorder, and talk about why you deserve better, and how to get there.

Topics In This Episode

My experience as a victim of covert narcissism
Overt vs covert narcissism
10 Signs of covert narcissism
How he became a covert narcissist is not your fucking problem
I promise you, not being with them is so much better than the pain of being with them

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

My Thoughts On Affairs Dec 12, 2022

Show notes

Either being in an affair or victim of one is really not all that uncommon and I'm surprised it's taken me this many episodes to talk about it! This episode was inspired by someone who reached out to me on Instagram who said she was happy to hear that this is a judgement-free zone, because she was the other woman and was looking to get coached. Now, I want to be clear that there are some extreme circumstances where I would say that it's ok to be in an affair. But in this episode, we're talking about relationships where you want an exclusive and monogamous relationship, and yet, you are the other woman. You are spending time and energy with someone who is committed to someone else, and yet, this is not the kind of relationship you truly want.

I want to share with you that I have been there and I can speak to this with experience. I have been a victim of an affair, and at one point, I was in an affair. In this episode, let's take a look at why it is we stay in these relationships, the excuses we make for them, and how to end it and find the relationship you truly want and deserve. Let this be a reminder that although it may not feel like you will find someone else, if this guy can’t give you want you truly want, there is someone out there who can and who will. And once you end the affair and heal your heart, you’ll then have the time and energy to find him.

Topics In This Episode

Evaluating if you truly want out of the affair or not
Excuses men give in affairs
If they truly wanted out of their other relationship, they would leave
Not entertaining it when exes come back into your life
Equating physical chemistry and attraction with love
Looking at your reasons for justifying the situation
You deserve the relationship that you desire to have

Resources

And if you are looking to get coached on your specific situation and really want to dive in on finding your person who will love you, and all of you, I invite you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I now offer my group coaching program in both six and twelve-month options and in this program, I guide my clients to the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. If I was able to transform my life with this work, then I can coach you to get the results of healing your heart too. To learn more, visit my website at: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

How To Know If He's Cuffing You Dec 05, 2022

Show notes

Not only have we reached the holidays, but this time of year also means that it is cuffing season. In case you haven’t heard this term before, it refers to a period of time from October to February when people seek out short-term relationships to help get through these colder months. Since it’s colder, people are less motivated to get out there and find their person, and for many, they seek the comfort of a relationship, even if it’s just something they see as short-term.

This is a term that I became familiar with only within the last couple of years. And honestly, I’m glad that either it didn’t exist, or I didn’t know about it when I was single. I can see how the idea of cuffing season could create a sense of panic that maybe the person you’re dating doesn’t see this as long-term, or that they aren’t taking the relationship seriously. In this episode, let’s take a look at how it doesn’t serve you to fixate on this, and also some tips on how to avoid getting cuffed.

These tips are obviously focused on identifying ways to avoid cuffing, but they are no different from tips I share with my clients throughout the whole year on ways to identify and avoid unavailable partners. If you want to learn more on how to avoid Mr. or Ms. Wrong, heal your heart, fall in love with you, and find your person, I invite you to apply for my group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better.

Also, I’m excited to share that my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better, is back for the month of December 2022, and now includes 20 new videos. Plus, there’s a whole bonus dating guide, where I guide you through from the moment you match on the apps, all the way through to when you decide to make things exclusive. There will also be 5 live group-coaching calls in the month of February. So to learn more, be sure to go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/thecourse

Topics In This Episode

There are no guarantees
Take his dating profile with a grain of salt
Pay attention to the conversations you’re having
Planning for the future
Why you shouldn’t avoid the difficult conversations
Being a conscious dater

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

The #1 Most Important Dating Tip Nov 28, 2022

Show notes

Are you on the edge of your seat to find out my #1 most important dating tip? Here it is. I’ve refined all my coaching and guidelines down to one thing, my number 1 most important dating tip. If you’ve listened to this podcast or have worked with me before, you know that I have created a 5-step process for finding someone better. I also have rules and guidelines I create for my clients so that I can help them see their own blindspots and be able to heal their hearts and find their person. So here it is, my number 1 dating tip, my loves: be a human.

In this episode, I share three very specific examples from clients who are actively dating in order to find their person, but they’ve recently really gotten in their head and getting in their own way. It’s common for me to see clients doing the work who are really wanting to make sure they are following the rules and doing the “right thing”. But sometimes, this worry about the rules and making a wrong move is actually preventing them from creating results! So let’s talk about what it looks like to trust yourself and be a human.

Again, I want to be very clear that the coaching I shared with these clients in this episode was very specific to them and to their situation. If you want me to take a look at what is going on with you and to get your heart healed, I want to invite you to join my group coaching program by the same title as this podcast, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, I coach all women, it doesn’t matter your age, race, religion, etc. This program is for all women looking to heal their hearts, fall in love with themselves, and then prepare to get back out there and find their person. I know you can do it because, not only have I done this work myself and found my Mr. Right, but I’ve also helped so many other women be able to do the same. To learn more and apply, visit my website at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode:

Being a tough-love coach
100% Technical. 100% Organic. 100% Fuck it.
Profiles don’t create your person, but they are an incredible tool.
Asking yourself what is it that you truly want, and what is the worst that can happen?
Sitting with the unknown

Resources

We are entering the holiday season, and this year I believe you should treat yourself to a healed heart and the love of your life. My course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better, is coming back for the month of December 2022, and now includes 20 new videos. Plus, there’s a whole bonus dating guide, where I guide you through from the moment you match on the apps, all the way through to when you decide to make things exclusive. There will also be 5 live group-coaching calls in the month of February. So to learn more, be sure to go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/thecourse

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Addicted To Love Nov 21, 2022

Show notes

Calling all love addicts! Maybe you are having a really hard time letting go of that Mr. Unavailable, or maybe you jump from one relationship to the next chasing the infatuation and the highs and lows. This episode is for you. I’m excited to bring back a client and guest instructor in my group coaching program, Katie Johnston. Katie and I have definitely been through it before with having an addiction to love and Mr. Wrong, and we have a lot to share with you about how to identify if you’re a love addict and what you can do about it.

We both recently watched the interview that Matthew Perry did with Dianne Sawyer where he discussed his battle with substance addiction, and that is what inspired this episode. It’s important to note that neither Katie nor myself have struggled with substance addiction, and we aren’t saying one is easier or more difficult than the other. We just know the toll it can take on a person who just can’t quit their need for that unavailable love, and we want you to know that you can do it. You can get to the other side where there is love, a healed heart, and even your ideal relationship with your person, and you are worth it.

If you need help finding resources for addiction or abusive situations, please email me at hello@clairetheheartbreakcoach.com and I will help you find the help you need.

If you can identify with what it looks and feels like to be a love addict, whether you’re in that relationship still, or you’re trying to end the hot and cold, back and forth, I want to invite you to join my group coaching program by the same title as this podcast, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, I coach all women, it doesn’t matter your age, race, religion, etc. This program is for all women looking to heal their hearts, fall in love with themselves, and then prepare to get back out there and find their person. I know you can do it because, not only have I done this work myself and found my Mr. Right, but I’ve also helped so many other women be able to do the same. To learn more and apply, visit my website at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Being a love addict can look like many different things
Telling yourself that you want stability and calm, yet you’re chasing the highs
Signs of love addiction
As with all addiction recovery, admission is the first step
Choosing the discomfort that is going to actually serve you in the long run
Handling the fear of not being able to find what you love about this person or this relationship in the future with someone new
Believing that you are worth the necessary pain and recovery it takes to heal your heart

Resources

Previous episode with Katie, Settling For Crumbs
Episode 5, My Heartbreak Story
Episode, Calling Love In With Feng Shui

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

I Don't Want Him To Think I'm a Bitch Nov 14, 2022

Show notes

I am fired up about this topic! I know that for many of us, we were raised to be lady-like, kind, and sweet, and as adults, this has translated into us wanting to be laid back and go with the flow. Because the alternative of saying no, standing up for what we need and deserve, can be seen as bitchy. We all are familiar with the representation of what it means to be a bitch. A bitch is someone who is miserable, has a bad attitude, and sucks the fun out of everything, and we have this fear of being her.

This episode is inspired by a client who is facing a situation where she can’t just fully cut contact with her ex. She has to see him and be around him, and in a recent group coaching call, she shared that she is ready to put her foot down with him and really end things, but she doesn’t want him to think she’s a bitch. I’ve heard this from many clients when they are ready to show up for themselves and what they truly deserve. So in this episode, let’s take a look at what it looks like to stand up for yourself, and why I want you to be the baddest bitch you need to be so that you can get to where you want to go.

If you want to sink your teeth deeper and have me look at your brain and your specific situation, you have the opportunity to apply to my group program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. If you are looking for the results of healing your heart, falling in love with you, and healing your dating and love life, this program is for you. This is a high-vibe group of women that are really digging deep and showing up and doing the work so beautifully. If you join us, you are going to learn, heal, and grow next-level because you are watching women just like you move through and grow through things just like you. To learn more and apply, visit my website at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Worrying that you are ruining the fun
If you’ve gone back to him before, he may not believe you that this time it’s for real
Spelling it out clearly, distinctly, and firmly
Anger is a healthy emotion to feel and express
It’s not bitchy to stand up for yourself and stop accepting bullshit
If they are turned off by you speaking up for what you need and what you deserve, then they are clearly not your person

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When Your Ex Does "The Work" Nov 07, 2022

Show notes

If you are a client of mine, a course student, or have listened to this podcast, you are doing “the work” of healing your heart and falling in love with you, and maybe you are even in the process of finding your person. This work is so powerful and can lead to amazing results and I wholeheartedly believe in it and what I do to help women create these results. So what if you find out that your ex has also been doing the work? And not only that, but now he’s with someone new. How are you supposed to handle these feelings that come up around him being this new upleveled version of himself that is with someone else? That’s exactly what we get into in this episode, and I share with you how you can reflect on your own healing and focus on continuing to heal your heart and your relationship with you, so that you can become the best version of you that finds her person.

Topics In This Episode

Is he really a better version of himself?
You can be doing the work and still be a hot mess
Learning how to handle and heal from the evitable pain we experience, in all areas of our lives
What will it take so that you stop entertaining the idea of him coming back?
Your ideal person may not be who you want it to be
Growth work isn’t always fun
Maybe you just weren’t compatible

Resources

Episode 5, My Heartbreak Story

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

How To Not Jinx Your Love-Life Oct 31, 2022

Show notes

Are you worried that your next date or maybe even your dating past has jinxed your love life? This happened with a client of mine who shows up regularly in the group program with vulnerability and ready to do the work. However, she’s noticed that she feels resistant to the dating apps and is worried that she may have jinxed herself. Let me tell you, with my dating past, if I hadn’t put in the work and healed my heart, I definitely could have believed that I was a bit cursed with all of the doozies I met and dated. But you know what? At the end of the day, I was committed to showing up and to the result that I would find my person, and I have. In this episode, I share with you what you can learn from your past, how you can protect your energy, and stay committed to finding your person.

And if you find that you are overwhelmed by this process, then I invite you to apply for my program Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I now offer my group coaching program in both six and twelve-month options and in this program, I guide my clients to the results of healing their hearts, falling in love with themselves, and finding someone better. If I was able to transform my life with this work, then I can coach you to get the results of healing your heart too. To learn more, visit my website at: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/