Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

Latest Episodes:

Guarded Vs Carried Away Mar 21, 2022

Show notes

I think it pretty much goes without saying that our past can leave us damaged, especially when it comes to finding love and healing our hearts in preparation for finding our person. With some of my clients, that has led them to approach dating being guarded in fear of getting hurt again. On the other hand, I have seen other clients of mine get really swept up in the giddyness of something new and they have found themselves getting carried away when they needed to be a bit more cautious. In this episode, let’s look at both of these situations, how they affect your dating life, and how you approach dating from a more clear and up-leveled place so that you can really find your person.

This topic has a ton of nuance and can vary widely depending on your past and where you are on your journey of healing your heart and finding love again. If you want to sink your teeth deeper into these tools and get coached, then I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos. To learn more, or if you have any questions, go to my website https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode:

Reflecting back and looking at what you can do differently next time
Being a nonjudgemental curious witness
Identifying the root thought that is preventing you from creating the results
Being guarded doesn’t serve you. And neither does getting carried away.
What it looks like when you’re getting carried away
Working on this area of your life doesn’t mean turning off your feelings
Thinking of yourself as “The Bachelorette” in your own dating life
How being guarded is getting in your way, and isn’t fair to you or the person you are dating
The fear can be there and you can still show up and be present

Resources:

PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

What's Loving Yourself Got To Do With It? Mar 07, 2022

Show notes

Short answer: loving yourself has everything to do with it! This week I am back with another one of my amazing clients, Christine, so that you can hear her experience of going through the group coaching program and the transformation she has gone through. Before she came to me, she had been working with another coach and was listening to this podcast, and was honestly a little nervous about joining a group program. However, no matter what else she was going through, or where she might have gotten stuck, she kept showing up to get coached.

By coming to the calls, asking questions, and seeking out coaching, she has been able to truly see that at the end of the day, it’s all about loving herself, and any man or relationship she has is just a bonus. In our conversation, Christine shares some of the ways she was feeling the heartbreak, where she was stuck in her journey, and she shares the night and day difference she feels now, and how we got there together.

If you are feeling stuck and, like Christine, you are ready to take your healing to the next level, I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos. To learn more, or if you have any questions, go to my website https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode:

When you’re thinking “Clearly I’m the problem”
The reason why my program and course are broken up into the 3 sections of stop wanting him back, falling in love with you, and finding someone better
Making the most of falling in love with you
What to do when you get stuck in the work
Overcoming the shame of heartbreak
Closure and heartbreak
The difference you feel when you have self-compassion
Taking back your power and remaining open to the possibility

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

The Power Of Your Word Feb 28, 2022

Show notes

As the world continues to open up and I’m showing up socially more and more, I’ve been really struck by the language I’m using in social situations. Over the years I have done a lot of work to own myself and show up as my full authentic self. However, recently when I’m making small talk with others I’m finding myself commiserating over complaints, or downplaying who I am, and this isn’t something I want to keep doing. I am proud of what I do and who I am, and I needed this as a reminder to show me that the thoughts I have are important, and they have power.

And this translates into your heartbreak and dating lives as well. When it comes to the language that you’re using in your thoughts and the words you use to express how you’re feeling, these words have power. They show us more about how we’re thinking about these areas of our lives, and having awareness about these things will allow us to change our thoughts and create new results. In this episode, let’s look at the ways in which you are using words to communicate with others about your heartbreak, in your dating life, and on the dating apps. Let’s make sure that it’s aligned with how we want to feel, and the results we want to create for ourselves.

If you’re like my client who doesn’t know what her thoughts are or how to self-coach to get clear on your words and on your thoughts, then I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and if you purchase my course before March 1st, I will be hosting 3 live group calls the first week in April 2022. To learn more, go to my website https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode:

Owning who you are and how you’re feeling
Giving yourself compassion while also recognizing something you want to change
How to begin the work of investigating your thoughts
Your words are actions
The practice of creating new habitual thoughts
Choosing your version of discomfort

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

It's OK to Need Feb 21, 2022

Show notes

One of the results that I help my clients create for themselves is to fall in love with themselves, along with healing their hearts and finding someone better. And part of what I help coach my clients on is to date themselves and to get so solid in that relationship that it’s merely a bonus with their Mr. or Ms. Right shows up. This sense of independence is really important, but I also want to share with you that it doesn’t mean that you can’t need your partner, or need things of them in order to be in your ideal relationship.

This episode was inspired by a dear friend of mine who recently told me that she feels like her partner isn’t stepping up to the plate in the way that he once was. She has always been pretty low maintenance in their relationship, and now she’s afraid of needing more from him. But I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to need! It’s ok to have needs and to have certain expectations from our partners. In this episode, I give examples of the kind of needs I feel it’s ok to demonstrate, getting clear on why it’s important to you, and key tools to be sure you get your needs met.

If you aren’t clear on what your needs are, or why it’s important to you, or even if you are struggling with your relationship with you and healing your heart, I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and if you purchase my course before March 1st, I will be hosting 3 live group calls the first week in April 2022. To learn more, go to my website https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Examining what it means to need something in your relationship
Getting clear on your reasons for these needs
Giving ourselves what we feel we need from others
Are you giving what you are needing?
Setting the expectation that your needs will change over time
Owning your needs

Resources

Episode 5, My Heartbreak Story

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It's Just February 14th Feb 13, 2022

Show notes

No matter where you are on your heartbreak journey or if you’re on the path to finding the one, Valentine’s Day and all the hoopla around this day can bring up a lot for people. So with that in mind, I wanted to share with you how you can move through it. If you’re having triggers around this day, let’s address it. Valentine’s Day itself is actually a neutral circumstance. It’s your thoughts about it and what you make it mean that can dictate your feelings. But luckily, with coaching tools, you can change your thoughts, and create new feelings. In this episode, I share with you mindset tools that can be used, whether you are reeling from a fresh heartbreak, or if you are dating and looking for the one. Go heal your heart, be the future woman in her ideal relationship, and take care of you. You deserve it!

If your heart is heavy and you’re experiencing longing whether it’s continued longing, or you’re hit with a resurgence of longing because of Valentine’s Day and seeing pink and red and flowers and chocolates, I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and if you purchase my course before March 1st, I will be hosting 3 live group calls the first week in April 2022. If you have any questions, please reach out to katie@clairetheheartbreakcoach.com

Topics In This Episode

What heartbreak drama sounds like
Valentine’s Day is just any other day of the year
Examining what is under the hurt, and what that can show us
Validating you that all of your thoughts feel very real
Getting clear on your intentions with self-care
Some actions you can do for yourself on this day
Being alone on Valentine’s Day is not a problem

Resources

Episode, My Heartbreak Story
Heart-Healing Crystals with Courtney Abbiati, of The Urban and The Mystic: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/9/30/heart-healing-crystals-with-courtney-abbiati
The Urban and The Mystic: https://theurbanandthemystic.com/
Episode, Calling In Love With Feng Shui

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Let's Talk About Boundaries Feb 07, 2022

Show notes

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries recently, especially as I learn more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person, and I’m realizing just how important it is to create boundaries in your heartbreak and in your dating life. Truth be told, earlier on in my dating life, it didn’t even occur to me to have boundaries, and if I had, I might have found out earlier on in some relationships that the other person and I weren’t right for each other if I had boundaries.

Simply put, boundaries are an imaginary line that separate you from another person. And even if you don’t identify as a highly sensitive person, or as an empath, I think it’s critical that we all have separations from others that allow for us to prioritize ourselves and the relationships we have created with ourselves. In this episode, I share with you the effects it can have if you don’t have boundaries. I also list out some boundaries that I believe will serve you, and how to implement them, even if it means having difficult conversations with people you are dating and the people in your life.

If this is something you struggle with and want a coach to help you take this work to the next level, I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. It’s a one year program where I coach you through the three results of stopping wanting Mr. or Ms. Wrong Back, falling in love with you, and finding someone better. We do this through three calls a week, plus you have access to “Ask A Coach” where you can write in and get a coached response within 24 hours, as well as access to over over 60 videos of coaching. To learn more and apply, go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/

Topics In This Episode

Traits of highly sensitive people
Saying no is an option, even if you are available
Creating boundaries around your schedule
Using labels to understand and educate ourselves
Being willing to move through the discomfort of someone else’s feelings in order to prioritize what you need
Having boundaries doesn’t make you a bad friend, daughter, partner, etc
You get to choose how much you want to share, and how much you want to take on
Be on to all the ways you may be getting into your own way in your dating life

Resources

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

You Didn't Waste Your Time On Him Jan 31, 2022

Show notes

I know that, for women especially, there is this pressure to settle down and start a family, and that pressure may grow the older you get. I get it! I used to face this same struggle in my dating life when it wasn’t working out, and I just hadn’t found my person yet. And the longer you spend in your dating life without your Mr. or Ms. Right, it may be easy to think about “wasted time” that you spent with the wrong person. I’m going to let you know right off the bat that wasted time is just a thought. The time that you spent in the relationships you were in is a completely neutral circumstance.

I believe that the time you spent in previous relationships, or time you spent healing your heart was definitely not wasted. You are exactly where you need to be in order to find your person. In this episode, I dig into those reasons you may feel like you wasted your time so that we can clean up that drama and that urgency, in order to call love in. Let’s also look at examples of where I believe that you may be delaying finding your person and how you can move through that so you can find the love of your life.

If you are struggling with cleaning up your past or making difficult decisions in order to call love in, with your person, I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and will also be able to join me for 5 live group coaching calls the first week of February 2022. This is my most affordable and accessible offering. If you have any questions, please reach out to katie@clairetheheartbreakcoach.com

Topics In This Episode:

You aren’t the right fit for everyone that you’ll date - and you’re not supposed to be
Coming to coaching with elevated thinking
Preparing yourself for future success in your dating life by cleaning up your past
The time you spent in a relationship is a neutral circumstance
Living in regret over something that you can’t change keeps you stuck
Looking at what you are in control of and what you can change
Becoming the best version of yourself in order to call love in
Getting clear on future you in your ideal relationship
When your dreams aren’t compatible with theirs

Resources:

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

Taking Things Slowly Jan 24, 2022

Show notes

This is a topic that I know will benefit some of you because this is the exact thing I needed to hear when I was dating before I met the love of my life, Larry. I know how it goes. You’re dating someone, you’re a few dates in, and you are getting those butterflies and you just want to invest all of your time and energy with them to learn more about them and get close to them. My loves, this is your reminder to really slow it down, and take your time. You’ve done the work of healing your heart and relationship with yourself. Take this time to see what’s out there, while also enjoying in the results you have created so far. This will not just benefit you, but it will benefit your dating life and your future as well.

In this episode, I share with you some examples of circumstances that have happened as a result of not taking it slowly. I also share with you some of the benefits of dating at a slower pace. I know it can be fun to be swept up in the excitement of something new, but it also might not be serving you to dive in headfirst.

If you find this to be hard and difficult, I invite you to head over to my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com, where you can apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and will also be able to join me for 5 live group coaching calls the first week of February 2022. This is my most affordable and accessible offering. If you have any questions, please reach out to katie@clairetheheartbreakcoach.com

Topics In This Episode

The first step in healing your heart is to clean up your story
My recommendation on how many dates you should go on in one week
Continuing to swipe
Notice the expectations you’re placing on the people you are dating
Pay attention to whether or not they are on the same page as you
There are no guarantees, so you have to be willing to feel the discomfort
Having the conversation about slowing things down

Resources

Episode with Kelly, From Lost to Found: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2022/1/17/from-lost-to-found
Episode, Empath Life In Romantic Relationships: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2021/8/9/part-one-empath-life-in-romantic-relationships

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

From Lost To Found Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

New clients and members of my group coaching program come to me from all different parts of the journey of healing their hearts and their relationship with themselves, getting closure on their ex, and finding true love. Today I have Kelly on the podcast to share with you her experience of coming to me for coaching and how she has been able to find her Mr. Right. It has been an absolute joy to be a part of this and to see the transformation she has experienced, and I am so excited she is here on the podcast to share it with you.

When she decided to make the investment and dive in on healing her heart, we didn’t even start with her dating life. She heard me say on the podcast that how you show up in one area of your life is how you show up in all areas of your life, so we began with her job. In this episode, you’ll hear Kelly share how we worked through the toxic thoughts she had about her job, and how this laid the foundation for being able to get clear on what she wants in all aspects of her life. Kelly also shares how the process went for her to find her person, and why she continues to get coached, even as she is in her ideal relationship.

If you are ready to create the kind of growth and results like my clients, I invite you to head over to my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com, where you can buy my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60-video course, with the same title as this podcast and as my group coaching program. With this course, you get lifetime access to the videos, and will also be able to join me for 5 live group coaching calls the first week of February 2022. This is my most affordable and accessible offering. If you have any questions, please reach out to katie@clairetheheartbreakcoach.com

Topics In This Episode:

Identifying where you may be unavailable to yourself
Making the money decision to go all in on coaching
Being stuck in your healing is not a problem
Getting coached in the group by a guest instructor
Creating comfort and security within yourself so that you don’t have to look for it in another person
Our brains will look for toxicity until we clean up the toxic thoughts
When you are so clear on what you are looking for, you see people in a new way
Getting in your ideal relationship, and then trusting your feelings when it all feels new

Resources

Episode, Empath-Life In Romantic Relationships: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2021/8/9/part-one-empath-life-in-romantic-relationships
Episode, Are My Feelings Valid Or Am I Being Dramatic? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2021/7/26/are-my-feelings-valid-or-am-i-being-dramatic

Editing and show notes by Roth Media

When You Don't Believe You'll Find Him Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

When you have experienced heart break, it can be tricky to believe that you will find love and that your Mr. or Ms. Right is out there. I have heard from people who tell me that they feel like their person is out there, but there is a distinct difference in having those thoughts, and really believing them. And not only that, but also having that belief when you don’t have any current evidence to support that belief, so that is what I want to share with you today. In this episode, I detail how you know when you have that belief, what happens when that belief may feel unsteady, and the seven steps for get you into belief that your person exists.

Our brains look for evidence, and they will create limiting beliefs where they are using that evidence from our past to dictate our future. If you are struggling with belief and truly knowing that your person is out there, then I invite you to check out my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In this program, I coach you through the three results of stopping wanting Mr. or Ms. Wrong Back, falling in love with you, and finding someone better. We do this through three calls a week, plus you have access to “Ask A Coach” where you can write in and get a coached response within 24 hours, as well as access to over over 60 videos of coaching. To learn more and apply, go to https://course.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/