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“Wholeheartedness is like a North Star. You can never get there. But you know when you’re heading the right way.”- Brene Brown
Cultivating is about creating something positive. It’s moving you forward by putting your oars in the water to row your boat on the sea of life.
Letting go is about removing resistance. It’s detaching the anchors from your boat, so you make effective progress when you row.
Without creating the positive, you won’t move forward. And without releasing what weighs you down, your progress is limited, slow, and painful.
The term “guidepost” also signifies that wholeheartedness is a way of travel, not a destination.
Guidepost 6: Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go of Comparison
Creativity doesn't require talent- everyone is creative! Comparison impedes creativity
Watch a kid being creative- Zero pressure
ACTION STEPS:
What’s your favorite way to be creative?
Start creating and share your gifts with the world!
Pay attention to when you get caught up in comparison. How does comparison feel?
What’s good in your life?
Check that list against your to-do list and to accomplish list
Take that NAP!
Guidepost 7: Cultivating Play and Rest, Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth
Sleep and Rest go hand in hand. Sleep debt is real! Pay your debts.
“Play is the stick that stirs the drink. It is the basis of all art, games, books, sports, movies, fashion, fun, and wonder—in short, the basis of what we think of as civilization. Play is the vital essence of life. It is what makes life lively.”
― Stuart M. Brown Jr., Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
May 2008 TED Talk : https://www.ted.com/talks/stuart_brown_play_is_more_than_just_fun?language=en
“Kids don't run to get in shape; they run to feel the wind in their face and the grass beneath their feet. Kids don't chat over coffee; they make jokes and play games with their friends. Kids don't network; they bond while they're having fun together. There is no ego. There is no guilt. There is no past to regret, and no future to worry about. They just play.”
― Charlie Hoehn, Play It Away: A Workaholic's Cure for Anxiety
ACTION STEPS:
Schedule time for unstructured play. Have a dance party- even if you have 2 left feet. Heck, play with slime!
Notice when the thought that “play and rest are luxuries” shows up in your mind. That’s like a warning sign that you’re in need of rejuvenation. Use it as an opportunity to recommit to your top self-care practices.
Brene suggests - make a list of “Ingredients for joy and meaning”- what specific conditions are in place when everything feels good?
GUIDEPOST 8: Cultivating Calm and Stillness and Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
Calm is a practice!
“Creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity”- Brene Brown
“The Dance of Connection”- managing anxiety- over functioning or under functioning
ACTION STEPS
Find what works for you
Mindfulness- Start a daily meditation practice or a 5 min journaling practice
GUIDEPOST 9: Cultivating Meaningful Work, Letting Go of Self-Doubt and Supposed-To
What is meaningful work?
Self-doubt undermines the process of finding our gifts and sharing them with the world- Brene Brown
Imposter syndrome
Supposed to- the battle cry of fitting in, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and proving yourself
To overcome these- we have to start owning the messages
What makes us afraid
What's on our supposed to list
Who says so?
Why?
Do not ignore these messages- acknowledge them, write them down and ask the messaged “What do you do? Where are you from? How are you armor? Can I let you go and be safe?”
I’m a wife, mom, CRNA, Mentor, Digital course creator, Life Coach, - The slash effect. You contain multitudes.
Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we are enough and letting go of what the world says we are supposed to be and call ourselves
ACTION STEPS:
Identify what meaningful means to you
Reflect on what your unique gifts are, and start sharing them with the world. As Howard Thurman instructs: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
When you notice that you’re should-ing on yourself, pause and switch directions. Drop “should” and “supposed-to” from your vocabulary and replace it with “want.” (So “I should do X” becomes “I want to do X/Y/Z.”)
GUIDEPOST 10: Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance. And Letting Go of Cool and Always in Control
Next time you have the thought “But what if people think I’m weird…” Remember that fitting in is far less important than making authentic connections with others. Don’t let a fear of looking weird prevent you from doing the things that serve you.
ACTION STEPS:
Make a playlist that helps you let go and be goofy and lean into the joy of movement and singing
Notice the little opportunities for laughter and play and take them
IN SUMMATION
Play, dance, take joy in not comparing your creativity with anyone else's, take a nap, slow down, notice your “shoulds” and take solace in the fact that you are enough as you are right now in this moment.
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