Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Phantasy Star IV Part 1 - No Jokes About Birth Valley Feb 19, 2018

Show notes

Phantasy Star IV - Part 1

We begin the epic space journey with Alys and Chaz in the town of learning, but something doesn't seem right. Why is the headmaster so evasive? What's up with those monsters in the basement? Is Jim the Hahn of the podcast? Why did we start with Phantasy Star IV? Does the game explain anything about any of its systems? Why is Vanessa so interested in Zio? How many fake languages is Matt going to have to learn? Does John want to make kissing with Professor Bearsley?

We answer all these questions and more in this deep dive into one of Sega's finest RPGs.

Level Up: 02:45 John Explains Phantasys Star I Through III: 09:45 Quest Log: 13:55 Jim's Rate-A-Babe: 01:07:29 Squarely Against: 01:10:25

This week: We venture deep into Birth Valley, and Rika emerges from its depths. Next week: We secure the Psycho Wand and head to Nurvus.

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots Versus Commander Shepherd: The Song Feb 17, 2018

Show notes

Julian Titus from Nerds Without Pants joins Jim and John as they decide if the Miracle of Sound Commander Shepherd song deserves a Renegade or Paragon interrupt! This episode contains a careful review of the imagery used by Miracle of Sound, as well as a mailbag full of questions about Krogan genitals, Crossing Jordan, Asari babies, and Normandy crew slash fiction. Plus basic misunderstandings of microfilm!

Level Up: 03:40

Commander Shepherd Review: 13:40

Mailbag: 38:10

Please find Miracle of Sound's Commander Shepherd song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiRDJLcYua0

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 6 - Dr. Ian Masseffect Feb 12, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect - Part 6

Stay tuned through the end of the podcast for incredible dramatic readings of Matt's notes! We finish off BioWare's first venture into their epic science fantasy universe and decide whether or not we're Squarely Against or Roundly For Shepherd and their adventures. Also? Vanessa and Matthew turn out to be twinsies; Matt is obsessed with a geth ship with a face; Vanessa's Rate-A-Hunk goes macro; and SO MUCH MORE!

Level Up: 02:56

The Codex: 16:23

Vanessa's Rate-A-Hunk: 57:10

Squarely Against: 01:03:03

Dramatic Readings of Matt's Notes: 01:14:36

This Week:We finish Mass Effect 1! Next Week: We start Phantasy Star IV and play through until leaving the BioPlant with Rika!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 5 - Promethean Toilet Culture Feb 05, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect 1 - Part 5

Next game is announced!

WARNING: JOHN MAKES THE VERY WORST JOKE EVER IN THIS EPISODE. Okay, now that we're past that, Shepherd and their crew head to Ilos to catch up with Saren! Also covered in this episode: meeting Lord Darius; Vanessa's Rate-A-Hunk; steamy Mass Effect love scenes; punching Ambassador Udina; the sexiest exposition-spouting VI; the terrible Pinnacle Station DLC and SO MUCH MORE.

This Week:We get in trouble for the nuking and then break some rules, punch some ambassadors, go to Ilos and drive our space truck through a portal. Next Week: We finish Mass Effect 1!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 4 - Howl's Moving Castle Doctrine Jan 29, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect - Part 4

On this dangerously exciting episode of Square Roots and Mass Effect: We talk about the pros and cons of prefabricated space housing and office buildings; Matthew makes a reference to a commercial no one has seen; there is much bandying about of the term "Terminator Cthulus"; we make a difficult choice between crew members and one may get some smoking lazer holes; Matthew decides to grow up and get a 4, 0, 1 and K; Father Kyle learns the error of his ways and SO MUCH MORE.

This Week: We head to Virmire and leave it a bit nuked. Next Week: We get in trouble for the nuking and then break some rules, punch some ambassadors, go to Ilos and drive our space truck through a portal.

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 3 - Space Rumspringa Jan 22, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect - Part 3

Things go from aggressive fungi to getting real cool as we descend on the Galt's Gulch that is the corpoplanet Noveria. Matthew delights in Matriach Brazzeria but somehow Vanessa isn't loving it; Ashley wants to put Earth first; aliens with New York cabbie accents; super space secretaries; further rating of hunks; Vanessa and Matthew tell teacher and SO MUCH MORE. You won't believe all the space adventures in store!

This Week: We plunge into the icy depths of Noveria! Next Week: We head into Virmire. Someone on the Normandy's crew... won't make it back alive.

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 2 - Geth Who's Coming to Dinner Jan 15, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect - Part 2

We finally blast off the Citadel and get to explore the Milky Way with our favorite crew of misfits, rebels and space racists. On this episode: Matthew tries desperately to figure out who Tonya Harding is, we debate the physical properties and applications of OmniGel, Freighter Crane's tossed salad and spiked grenades, Liara's psychic head rubbies, birthing Asaris, and so much more!

This Week: We rescue Liara T'Soni and find the secret of Feros! Next Week: We plunge into the icy depths of Noveria!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mass Effect Part 1 -This Is My Favorite Cuckshed on the Citadel Jan 08, 2018

Show notes

Mass Effect 1 - Part One

Forgive sick Johnny's heavy breathing this ep, his nose was heckka plugged.

It's Janu-Warey! Poor, poor hick Jenkins. BimJanks, Eden, Evil and Kimothy Shepherd unite to fight the evil, evil Nihilus after he kills… wait. Wait. Saren is the bad guy? But Nihilus is the bad guy name!

What's the deal with the Epiphany Witch? Why is Jim's neighbour on a campaign of misinformation? Is Kittizard or Ferians a better fantasy name for the Turians? Do the Turians even have genitals? Is Ashley a big ol' Space Racist? Has Jim played Flandia? Do Asari look like whatever you find attractive?

This Week: We find the beacon on Eden Prime and prove Saren's guilt on the Citadel. Next Week: We rescue Liara T'Soni and find the secret of Feros!

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots Versus Radical Dreamers Jan 01, 2018

Show notes

Nadia Oxford from USGamer and Axe of the Blood God joins us to dissect the strange relationships between this visual novel / text adventure and Chrono Trigger, as well as its role as a map for Chrono Cross. Things to enjoy this week: Jim getting angry at Radical Dreamers and Chrono Cross yet again, self-insert Chrono fan fiction, Radical Dreamers as a management parable, fashion montages, fushigi, and hyper gory text descriptions.

This week: We play through the first ending of Radical Dreamers! Next week: We finish Eden Prime and the Citadel to take command of the SR Normandy in Mass Effect!

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

The Bard's Tale (2004) Part 4 - The Christmas Cinematic Universe Dec 25, 2017

Show notes

The Bard's Tale 2004 - Part Four

Things draw to a close and we try to end on a positive note on what we liked about this strange game. We track through the three endings, discuss the stated theme of the game, and give long, long sighs as we hit one of the most weirdest endgame of any RPG we've seen.

This Week: We play Chapters 11 through 14 of The Bard's Tale. Next Week: We radically dream!

Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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