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    Games & Hobbies

    Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

    Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Fable Part 6 - Deep Lisa Turtle Lore Dive Jul 09, 2018
    Show notes

    Did Fable harness the power of the Xbox and our hearts? Or was it a fetid balverine of disappointment? We give our final review of Fable as we finish the game and delve into the extra Lost Chapters content. Topics include: a glyph that unlocks prime Saved by the Bell knowledge; Vanessa's molten lava attraction; Matthew's trail of carnage and SO MUCH MORE.

    04:40 - Level Up 15:05 - The Quest Log 01:07:35 - Bullshit Minigame Corner 01:10:00 - Squarely Against

    This Week: We finish Fable! And the Lost Chapter! Next Week: We play until you reach Banon and the Returners Base in Final Fantasy VI.

    Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis! MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Fable Part 5 - You Kracken, Me Up! Jul 02, 2018
    Show notes

    Since Jim has given up on his Fable quest, he's resorted to coming up with the worst Dad Jokes to help us through rescuing The Scarlet Robe, infiltrating a prison, stopping a kidnapping, looting a graveyard, and other spooky RPG tasks! It may not be the penultimate episode of Fable that you expected, but it's the one you deserve.

    This Week: We rescue the Scarlet Robe! Next Week: We finish Fable! And the Lost Chapter!

    Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis! MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Fable Part 4 - The Sock Method Jun 25, 2018
    Show notes

    We're still giving inappropriate books to schoolchildren in Fable, but that's not the least of our adventures. There's scorpion slaying! Murdertimes! John striking out bad! Trying out fun names for big evil door heads! Plus: we meet the Jack of Blades, and deep secrets are revealed!

    This Week: We conquer the Arena! Next Week: We rescue The Scarlet Robe!

    Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis! MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Fable Part 3 - Rear Eye for the Right Guy Jun 18, 2018
    Show notes

    HELLO PATRIOTS. GET YOUR BACKSTAGE PASSES READY, IF YOU'RE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. WE'VE TAKEN THIS PODCAST IN A LUCRATIVE NEW DIRECTION. Did we say lucrative? We mean patriotic. And not les patriotes, we're talking real American Patriots! NO CANADIAN HISTORY LEARNING HERE. Also: Vanessa leans in to her poly preferences, we discover teaching school children in Albion can be rewarding, Matthew keeps murdering, John gets a crush on a boss, and burp fart my butt my butt.

    06:00 - Level Up 19:15 - The Quest Log 01:05:55 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner 01:13:45 - Squarely Against

    This Week: We defeat Twinblades and enter the Witchwood! Next Week: We conquer the Arena!

    Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis! MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Fable Part 2 - Spotify: The Monster of Blades Jun 11, 2018
    Show notes

    Now we find out just what happens when you fall in love with Matthew and then he asks you to follow him somewhere. The answer? You get sacrificed at the Temple of Scorn, and then can't skip more than two songs without paying their premium: YOUR SOUL. Also in this episode: mushroom talk, fishing, Yuko's Island Express, Matthew gives excellent Troll advice, and much more!

    02:25 - Level Up 10:15 - The Quest Log 01:07:00 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner 01:11:05 - Squarely Against

    This Week: We escort the travellers through the Darkwood! Next Week: We enter the mysterious world of the Witchwood!

    Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis! MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Fable Part 1 - With The Power Of The Xbox Jun 04, 2018
    Show notes

    It's FABLE TIME. Harnessing the power of the Xbox, will you be able to grow a tree? Play as a lady? Create procedural rivalries? Make an AI friend named Milo? Teach virtual pets morality? NO. Of course not. But Lionhead's ambitious RPG is not all disappointment and terrifying child faces. There's plenty of great stuff in here!

    15:05 - Level Up

    20:53 - The Quest Log

    58:00 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner 01:00:00 - Squarely Against 01:09:20 - Peter Molyneux's Career At Silver Shamrock

    This Week: We beat the Queen Wasp in Lookout Point in Fable! Next Week: We escort the travellers through the Darkwood!

    Our intro and outro music for this series is THEoneNILS's cover of the Oakvale theme! TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Grandia Part 10 - Disney Dog Logic May 28, 2018
    Show notes

    Holy crap. Gaia is now some kind of giant bug and we have to crawl inside. From the bottom up. Yeah. It's kinda gross. We criticize the parenting of Feena and Justin's children, Jim is convinced that Justin gets swole, we debate if Mullen earns his ending, we optimistically announce Bad Dragon as our dream sponsor, there are many, many plugs to our Patreon, AND SO MUCH MORE.

    02:20 - Level Up 15:55 - The Quest Log 48:45 - Mullen It Over 51:45 - Final Thoughts on Grandia

    This Week: WE FINISH GRANDIA! Next Week: We beat the Queen Wasp in Lookout Point in Fable!

    Our opening theme is Charles Ritz's awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz's music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

    Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Grandia Part 9 - Mullen It Over May 21, 2018
    Show notes

    Grandia is almost over, and it may be breaking the Square Roots crew to their very cores. Except for Jim. Jim for some reason is finishing this game in record time. This week on Square Roots: Vanessa gets Royal Fever, Jim turns into a robot, Feena becomes a corporal, Justin won't solve the Trolley Problem, we debate the worst voice actor of the game, there's much plant carnage as Baal makes it go total Jenova, and so much more!

    02:25 - Level Up 20:35 - The Quest Log 01:07:20 - Mullen It Over 01:08:40 - Squarely Against

    This Week: We reach Zil Padon after the attack by Gaia! Next Week: WE FINISH GRANDIA!

    Our opening theme is Charles Ritz's awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz's music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

    Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Grandia Part 8 - Deus Ex Manta Ray May 14, 2018
    Show notes

    Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    NEXT GAME ANNOUNCED!

    This l'il chunker has all your favorite Grandia bits: rainbow roads! Falling out of a plane! Jenova-ing monsters! Plant arms! Convenient manta rays! Secret Icarians! There's a lot of plot and a lot of action, even if poor ol' Vanessa is sick.

    Level Up: 04:00 Quest Log: 12:50 Squarely Against: (I think we forgot it this time)

    This week: We play until we reach Alent. Next Week: We return to Zil Padon after the Lyonlot and the Luzet Mountain Camp scene.

    Our opening theme is Charles Ritz's awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz's music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

    Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

    Twitter: @squarerootspod

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

    Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Grandia Part 7 - The Worst Name For Dog People Imaginable May 07, 2018
    Show notes

    Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Let's not forget that Grandia was made in the halcyon days of 1996 in Japan, so the name of the dog people did not carry the same kind of political weight as it does now. But that's just the start of the revelations we have today. For instance: the true nature of Darlin! Where Lainians keep their wisdom! How snowballs work! Ghosts! And so many more!

    Our opening theme is Charles Ritz's awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz's music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

    Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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