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111. {Bonus} You know the root cause of WHY you've allowed yourself to be disrespected by men but... HOW do you stop that cycle? (Listener question) Feb 27, 2022

Show notes

Today in this bonus episode I tackle a question I got via this TikTok video.. "I know the root cause but how do I stop now that I know?" Great question and I answer it today on this episode and the visual from TikTok is here.

Plus I tackle this question I got due to that same video... "How can I help someone who does this (consistently choose men who aren't interested in them)? The visual of this answer from TikTok is here.

Notes on my last answer...

There is no universal "right way" to "do" a relationship. Your blueprint to a healthy relationship lies in you. Make the investment of time and money to figure YOU out.

I reference episode 50 here and 39 here in this episode.

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Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Now, suppose you are ready to invest in yourself, to learn how to do the work to be happy single, truly. You want tools to do better in this area and you know you have nothing else to lose. You're ready to work on you. You need help to get rid of the shame you have in this area of your life, you want peace and you want to feel like you can trust yourself again. In, that case, I invite you to apply to and join the wait list to Single You Academy. How will you end 2022?

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake IG account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeRekaa)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

110. Ce (Licensed Therapist) on: Are there really no good men out there or is it us sis? Feb 24, 2022

Show notes

So I had to bring my Bison sister back to discuss the #1 thing I see/hear women say. Ce Anderson is a Licensed therapist, wellness & trauma recovery expert. You can check her practice out here.

Did we really miss out on a good man? Are they gone... or do we have some growing up and re-evaluating to do?

1:29 Are there really no good men? And why do we say that?
4:08 Who am I attracting and how are they different from what I say I want?
5:05 Not allowing the desires and the fantasy to diminish what you're seeing (for said man).
6:49 Are we even mentally ready to date?
8:35 How should men be maneuvering in dating. What does Ce tell her male clients?
12:27 We will say "well yea, he said he didn't want a girl but he treated me as such...". Holding ourselves accountable and having our own standards.
14:23 Scenarios with men 1. He says he doesn't want a girl | 2. He says that but also treats you as his girl. How do we handle this, especially when 2 happens? Do men say, "there are no good women out there."
15:20 Discussion on scenario 1. What level of access should we give him?
21:30 Why do we ignore that gut feeling?
23:16 Discussion on scenario 2. Dealing with ghosting, especially after you were really feeling him.
26:00 A break up is not a loss. Mentioned Meagan Good and Devon Franklin.
35:20 Discussion on "do men say "there are no good women out there". What is their frustration with women?

...... cont. to next week!!

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake IG account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeRekaa)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

109. {Bonus} My message to you (I need your help) and thank you for 4 million views on TikTok Feb 19, 2022

Show notes

Seriously, I guess I 'made it' whatever that means but I have an imposter. Will the "real Reka please stand up" and that's ME! NOT @justmeRekaa (with the double aa) on instagram. please go REPORT that person. I don't do readings, nor do I say things like "grand rising" in real life!! :-)

Plus on this bonus episode...

Why you can say you want to stop being mishandled by men, know why you allow it (root cause) and yet you're still in that cycle.
Who I am as a coach, who I coach and a snapshot of what Single You Academy is.
Please leave a review.

Here is the TikTok video that went viral.

Listen to episode 41. Titled; Stacey on: A cautionary-tale for women. What can happen if your money mindset and actions aren't right before dating.

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

108. Anwar on: Love overachieving and how that is effecting your life in a negative way. Feb 17, 2022

Show notes

This episode is Part 2 of last week's episode with Anwar. I recommend listening to that episode first and then come back to this one.

So let's talk... is not being in a relationship a failure? Why do we see a single woman and automatically think... what's wrong with her?

0:00 Love overachieving, Anwar's definition. Is love a game or not? (Listen to his full episode here)
4:35 Most people are not themselves when they are dating. Love is not an audition.
6:00 How the awards we get as a little affect how we view relationships.
11:45 How the scarcity mindset in love is affecting you your life. Are you truly never going to find your man?
19:58 Are you the nice girl, hard girl or hurt girl? (Listen to Anwar's full episode here)

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

107. Anwar on: If you were raised to be a daughter instead of a woman, then re-parenting yourself is a necessary step to your healing and love journey! Feb 10, 2022

Show notes

A discussion with Dating & Relationship coach, Anwar White.

0:00 Introduction of Anwar and how he became a coach.
4:34 Why are we failing in this lane of relationships? #1 reason
7:23 How we judge men and don't accept. Unfortunately it causes us to put 'him' on a pedestal.
14:00 How our parents didn't teach us how to be a woman and emotional available to our 'men'.
17:11 Being passive aggressive is at our detriment.
19:00 What I had to re-parent for myself. With men and my parents.
22:00 How loyalty as a child affects our loyalty to men who don't deserve it.
25:11 Not having the audacity to believe we can actually get a loving, fruitful, flourishing and fulfilling relationships
25:30 How no one asks you what you want and need as a daughter. You're just asked to do... 'manage the household'.
28:22 Getting into love over acheiving and the SYA waitlist.
End; becoming a wise woman to re-parent yourself and to stop this cycle of dysfunction with men.

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

106. How can we be so confident in our professional life but not in the lane of relationship? (Kasia Interviews Reka) Feb 03, 2022

Show notes

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

In this episode the tables have been turned and I get interviewed. We tackle....

0:00 From her series titled; from timid to confidence. Kasia Brandford (find her here) has asked me to share my story and how/why I become the "single girls life coach".
6:45 How easy or difficult is it to know that you're in an emotionally abusive relationship when you're in a long-distance relationship?

If you already heard my story skip to....

9:45 Professional confidence. How can we be so confident in one area and not in others?
12:54 Performing Happy. What happens to our confidence when we're in performance mode?
14:35 When you went to Mexico (solo trip) and you started doing 'the work'. What was some of the first things you came to realize about yourself?
17:13 How we're actually creating all the dysfunction in our lives with men... we have more control than we think or know how to execute.
18:35 What are some of the first things (self care) you started to do after your Mexico trip?
21:20 Is your relationship with God ...is that work part of your coming back to your relationship with you? Or is a relationship with God and a relationship with yourself the same?
23:15 What are some things you recommend for people to do to get over shame?
26:55 How do we develop the confidence to set and keep a boundary?
34:16 Mental gymnastic and getting discouraged because of negative thoughts.
37:06 What is the biggest lie that you once believed?

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

105. Cameo on: slowing down the dating process and dating in fear because we're faith based women. Jan 27, 2022

Show notes

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

In this episode we tackle...

00:00 Ugh I had covid and intro of Cameo King. Host of the "Good Girl Podcast".
5:00 How do we slow down the dating process.

Question...

Yeah -one thing I’m like really battling with.. when it comes to dating... is being able to separate my heart from it. Because I be taking men way too deeply sometimes. Any tips when it comes to that I guess?

6:03 It's not about your heart, it's about the men you're dealing with.
10:35 We're looking for a magic bullet to fix our relationship life that doesn't exist.
16:13 Why sex is off the table for me.
18:43 How we date with our heart or not.
21:31 We only allow disrespect with men we like.
32:57 This prescribed version of a good woman we're falling for.
35:12 Men who shy away from questions are hiding something.
36:12 How can 'he' actually love and care for me if he's not...
37:49 I want to be loved correctly and here is how.
39:00 Working through that fear that he'll leave.
43:38 Words vs. actions vs. having both.
46:21 There is a difference in dating a man who wants a relationship and wants to be married vs. a man that doesn't.
48:00 The pressure to get it right because we're women of faith.
54:30 Yes God hates divorce which is why there are steps we have to stop skipping before we get married.
59:00 We all need help. Therapy. A mentor and/or a coach.
1:02:20 Dating without fear and what that looks like.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. Twitter here. Facebook here. Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

104. Tapping in deeper on your self love journey (and my thoughts on the Insecure series finale). Jan 13, 2022

Show notes

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

In this episode we tackle...

How did you feel about Issa ending up with Lawrence? My thoughts...
Review Shout out.
I didn’t just let time pass (because it wouldn't have transformed me)... here is what I mean.
I didn’t just use my insight to change (because it wouldn't have transformed me)... here is what I didn't instead.
The Power of Now.
Poem.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. Twitter here. Facebook here. Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬𝘢

103. Keetra on: what happens when we have the ..."at least he isn't"... excuse and we settle... (her testimonial of SYA) Jan 06, 2022

Show notes

Just in time for that New Year Resolution; Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

:00 Introducing Keetra
3:58 Did your (pastor) parents have a conversation with her about what makes a healthy relationship?
9:46 Why she stayed in her 15 year marriage.
10:57 How 'church' and 'church folk' didn't help.
14:00 After her divorce the fog cleared and here's why.
18:15 Why Keetra signed up for Single You Academy (SYA).
28:04 How reading before you're ready won't help you.
31:02 How SYA is actually helping her son as well.
37:27 Did you know Maya Angelou's quote but still allowed a man to treat you like trash?
46:30 How the tools she got from SYA is still showing up in her life, after she completed the program.
51:59 Setting boundaries and more on what SYA will teach you.

Now, suppose you are ready to invest in yourself, to learn how to do the work to be happy single, truly. You want tools to do better in this area and you know you have nothing else to lose. You're ready to work on you. You need help to get rid of the shame you have in this area of your life, you want peace and you want to feel like you can trust yourself again. In, that case, I invite you to apply to Single You Academy. Applications for SYA will be open until we fill our 5 open spots. How will you be going into 2022. We will review applicants on a first come, first serve basis. So if you want this, go after it.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. Twitter here. Facebook here. Email = Reka@justmeReka.com || My DM is always open!

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬𝘢

102. Lanaya on: We can also ruin good men if we don't hold true to our values and boundaries sis. Dec 30, 2021

Show notes

Just in time for that New Year Resolution; Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

0:00 "We can also ruin good men if we don't hold true to our values and boundaries" - What does Lanaya mean by that?
0:50 If you (women) have the power to help (men) we also have the power to hinder.
3:10 How we ruin me (Lanaya on possibly ruining her boyfriend before he become her husband).
4:00 He can only be helped by us, not changed.
8:50 How my little cousin met her husband and he had to rise to her standards.
13:50 Not every 'good man' is for you.
17:55 do you want to be divided in your devotion to God and you vs God and your husband/kids. Where does that leave you sis?
20:38 I don't need someone to teach me how to be single.
24:25 Getting out the speak in your eye and clearly seeing yourself.

Now, suppose you are ready to invest in yourself, to learn how to do the work to be happy single, truly. You want tools to do better in this area and you know you have nothing else to lose. You're ready to work on you. You need help to get rid of the shame you have in this area of your life, you want peace and you want to feel like you can trust yourself again. In, that case, I invite you to apply to Single You Academy. Applications for SYA will be open until we fill our 5 open spots. How will you be going into 2022. We will review applicants on a first come, first serve basis. So if you want this, go after it.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. Twitter here. Facebook here. Email = Reka@justmeReka.com || My DM is always open!

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬𝘢

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