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**Single You “The Podcast”**

In September of 2020, after 18 years in radio, I stepped down from my full time job— to focus on what God is calling me to do in this season. I’m called to guide women who need to hear that singleness is not a punishment and you are worthy regardless of your relationship status.

I’m the Founder of Single You Academy & the host of this Podcast!

I help the loyal frustrated woman who is tired of giving 2nd chances and trusting he will change stop that cycle by teaching her how to set and KEEP her boundaries.

Latest Episodes:

150. I'm Over the 50/50 Conversations Jan 18, 2024

Show notes

I’m over the 50/50 conversations.

Cause who’s really talking splitting money with a guy who can’t even locate himself?

I’m talking vibe change.

You ask.

He acts like nothings changed.

Why isn’t there more of: “look I’m processing something— we are still good but give me a minute.”

Instead of acting different and making me feel like I’m tripping.

If we say “at this big age” we are going to be open, honest and transparent… then there is a moment where vulnerability will help us “win the relationship” but you choose otherwise and expect me to “pull the emotions” out of you… we will lose the relationship every time. Why am I always put in a position where I have to think “am I tripping or did the energy shift?” — and it’s never the man with enough integrity to explain what’s going on with him or why the energy shifted.

I can’t figure out my emotions and yours sir.

So, is it really about the 50/50?

-I have thoughts about him-

Originally Written: December 2023

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You know where to find me @justmeReka on IG & TikTok.

149. 2 Gifts My Parents Gave Me About Relationships + Why I've Been Absent Nov 21, 2023

Show notes

You know where to find me.

IG = @justmeRea

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

148. Why Can’t We Pull Our Men Up? (Guest J.Hall) Jun 08, 2023

Show notes

Relationships, Statistics, and Self-Exploration: Unveiling Truths about Dating (each other) for Black Men and Women. An argument as to why we should give the bus driver a chance.

In this thought-provoking podcast episode hosted by Reka Robinson, she engages in a candid conversation with J. Hall about the complexities of relationships, the influence of statistics in dating, and the dynamics surrounding Black men and women. Together, they delve into the following thought-provoking questions:

Should we base our choices on relationship statistics or on the reality we experience? Reka and J. Hall ponder the implications of relying solely on statistical data when it comes to dating and whether it aligns with personal experiences and individual needs. And where does faith come in?
Nurturing Black men: Reka and J. Hall examine the idea of supporting and uplifting Black men. They question whether assumptions about their strengths and comfort levels hinder our ability to truly understand their needs and desires. The importance of open communication and asking questions is emphasized.
Room for questions: The conversation navigates around whether Black men allow space for questioning, or if their ego obstructs genuine dialogue. Exploring the facets of self-discovery, they wonder if Black men truly explore the potential of the man they aspire to become. Why can’t we call our men up?
Acknowledging collective struggles: J. Hall shares his newfound understanding that the challenges faced by women in their interactions with men impact society as a whole. “I use to say that sucks for you, now I know it sucks for us.”
The path to healing: Reka opens up about her personal journey, revealing that she believes true healing can only be achieved by embracing the discomfort and vulnerability that comes with building relationships. She wonders if she will be able to reach that point with a Black man. Can we get past that wall?
Financial stability and trust: The discussion shifts to the topic of financial stability and its impact on dating within the Black community. Reka and J. Hall question whether Black men should refrain from dating until they achieve financial stability and whether Black women are expected to meet them at the bottom as a way to gain their trust.
Reflecting truths: Reka shares her belief that she has the ability to make men confront their own selves, which can be uncomfortable for them, leading to avoidance. Which is why they run and why relationships never work out for her.

Throughout the episode, Reka and J. Hall provide listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking dialogue that challenges preconceived notions about relationships, explores the dynamics between Black men and women, and encourages a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

You can find J.Hall here.
His Blog here.
The episode of 'The Good Girl Podcast' we mention is here.
The history of being Black; here.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

147. Nurturing a Healthy Marriage. Meg on: how she refuses to lose herself in her marriage. (Guest Meg Watt) May 25, 2023

Show notes

"I am intentional about not losing myself in my marriage." - Meg

(host) Reka, sits down with the inspiring Meg Watt to explore the dynamics of her decade-long relationship with her husband, Darrel. Through their conversation, they uncover valuable insights on building a healthy marriage, the importance of proper planning and strategy, and the need to embrace personal growth.

Meg begins by acknowledging the widespread desire many people have for the kind of fulfilling relationship she shares with Darrel. However, she highlights the unfortunate reality that most individuals fail to listen to her advice, missing out on the secrets to long-lasting-healthy love.

The journey of Meg and Darrel's relationship takes an unexpected turn early on when Darrel breaks up with Meg after two years. Meg candidly shares this experience, explaining that Darrel felt unprepared and uncertain about their future together. Reflecting on this challenging period, Meg emphasizes the significance of therapy in their reconciliation and subsequent reunion.

The podcast delves deeper into Meg's decision to give their relationship another chance despite her initial reservations about Darrell's previous breakup. Meg challenges the notion of holding onto an immature attitude and emphasizes the importance of personal growth and maturity in nurturing a strong bond.

Furthermore, Meg reveals the 'trauma plans' she and Darrel have implemented in their relationship. She sheds light on the significance of recognizing and addressing past traumas, emphasizing how this awareness contributes to a healthier and more resilient partnership.

Throughout the conversation, Meg shares her perspective on how individuals often normalize suppressing their own needs and desires, especially within the context of relationships. She encourages listeners to break free from this pattern, advocating for open communication and self-expression as essential ingredients for relationship growth.

Meg also touches upon the importance of empathy towards those who break up with us. She suggests that, that maybe these individuals (men) may have only experienced our unique type of love in their dreams and how overwhelming that can be for them. So having grace for ourselves in 'choosing wrong' and their choice to retreat is a crucial approach to our healing.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

146. So are we going to date the bus driver? Commentary on Eboni K. Williams, her preference and more. (Guest: Dr. Tiyahri Wilson) May 11, 2023

Show notes

"We have to stop internalizing people’s fruit inspection of us. - Tiyahri

In this podcast episode, my guest is Dr. Tiyahri Wilson and we explore the topic of preference when it comes to dating, specifically for Black women. We start off by discussing whether Eboni K. Williams is allowed to have her own preference and if Black women are allowed to be vocal about theirs. We also touch on Eboni's comment, "If he owns the bus," and whether men were too sensitive about her preference.

Dr. Tiyahri shares a quote that encourages people to stop internalizing others' opinions of them. Myself and Tiyahri also reveal whether WE would date a bus driver and while our preference isn't exactly aligned with Eboni's, we do express our support for her answer, her reasoning and more. Then we move on to the rebuttal made by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant about the criteria used to measure men being off, which sparks a conversation about the cultural push for marriage and motherhood and how it may maintain patriarchal control and dominance.

Dr. Iyanla Vanzant said: "The standards and the criteria we use to measure men are off, for who we are as women and who they are in this society.”

The conversation then turns to the difference between "finding love" or "falling in love" versus "choosing love." This episodes ends with us discussing the idea that as long as the competition is "I'm not gonna let you out love me," the marriage will work. Overall, the episode provides thought-provoking insights on preference, love, and the societal norms that surround relationships.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

145. Stop giving love with the intent to change. Plus what is the difference between falling in love and choosing love? (male perspective)(Guest Bryan Thomas) Apr 27, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the podcast hosted by (Me) Reka Robinson with guest (life coach) Bryan Thomas, Bryan talks about his divorce and the lessons he learned from it. He explains why he was with her for a few years but only married for months and that when love is given with the intent to change instead of cover, problems arise. We discuss the concept "Love is meant to cover and not change, according to God." (1 Peter 4:8)

We also discuss the concept of loving blindly and how it can lead to problems. Bryan stresses the importance of finding someone who matches our values and needs. He also discusses his decision to remain single until he finds someone who matches his discipline. Bryan believes that we should stop giving potential partners the benefit of the doubt. They also talk about what marriage taught Bryan about women and himself. Finally, they delve into the difference between falling in love and choosing love.

16:47: "When love is given with the intent to change and not the intent to cover. That is where you will run into a problem. God never says that ‘love changes’ but he says ‘love covers." - Bryan
26:53: becoming the person that I’m called to become that is my responsibility, that is not the responsibility of the person I’m with. The thing that I’m asking you, is that when I make mistakes, will you hold my hand and say “I got you” as I’m elevating or are you going to push me to the side because maybe what you signed up for didn’t included the capacity to be able to handle the downside to the evolution that I’m bringing.
50:24: What did marriage teach him about women?
1:01:04: What did marriage teach him about himself? + “Falling in love vs. choosing love”.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook ⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

144. 'They' really think that a Black women's hyper-independence is self imposed and that narrative is so tired. Plus MAFS commentary. Let's talk (Guest Tiyahri) Apr 13, 2023

Show notes

"Share what you want him to know and then allow him to ask the questions that go along with that." - Dr. Tiyahri Wilson. Find her here.

In this episode of the podcast hosted by (myself) Reka and mental health therapist Tiyahri, we dive deep into the societal pressure on women to measure their worth by marriage and kids (The Ashanti of it All). We discuss the harmful comments that are often directed towards unmarried women in their 40s and question why finding true love is not taught as an uncertain reality of life. We emphasize the importance of not measuring one's value by marriage and instead being careful about the way we perceive and understand this beautiful institution (around 14:46). Then of course we analyze MAFS (Married at First Sight. Season 16) couples, such as Jasmine and Airris, to understand what emotional unavailability looks like and whether the therapists on the show are ethical (around 25:50). Here is where Tiyahri defines "emotional unavailable" and we give tangible examples.

The podcast hosts also take a closer look at Kirsten and Shaq (around 44:45), discussing what it means to be extremely guarded and questioning why someone so shut down would go on a show like MAFS. They explore what "doing the work" looks like for someone who is guarded and provide advice on how to open up in a relationship. Additionally, the hosts discuss Dominique and Mackinley and analyze the way Dominique mishandled the situation (around 55:43). They question whether 25 is too young for marriage and discuss the importance of being honest about what one wants in a relationship. This podcast episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to understand societal pressures on women, emotional unavailability in relationships, and the intricacies of marriage.

"Ya'll really think that a Black women's hyper-independence (general speaking) is self imposed and that narrative is so tired. All these Black women are out here asking for help and expressing their needs, receiving nothing. That is what breeds hyper independence address that." - IG Streets. (around 19:14)

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.

Twitter ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
Facebook ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
TikTok ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

143. Masculine and Feminine energy is not real life. Lets talk! (Plus let's celebrate Cameo for being on the Red Table... yes that Red Table!) Mar 23, 2023

Show notes

The first 28 mins is my discussion with my friend Cameo King (of the Good Girl Podcast) about her experience on the Red Table (Talk).

The episode she was on is titled: How to Find and Keep a Healthy Relationship and you can listen to that here.

Then we get into the following;

28:10 When it comes to 'finding and keeping a healthy relationship' what did we learn from; Dating coach Matthew Hussey, author Stephan Labossiere, podcast host Lewis Howes and relationship advisor DeVon Franklin?
30:00 Masculine and Feminine is not real life.
31:08 Being a 1 dimensional feminine woman can be boring... here is why...
34:01 Again what is the difference between compromise and settling... I think we found our answer through Matthew Hussey.
36:54 Why is dating so fun and intentional in the beginning but 3, 6 months down the road he falls off?
39:00 I fear making the wrong decision yet again.
43:03 That masculine and feminine energy conversation puts people in boxes.
45:58 Seriously who am I dating? Ever dated a man who couldn't locate himself?
50:21 I can't heal this side of me until I get on the other side of a relationship.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠here⁠.

Twitter ⁠here.⁠
Facebook ⁠here.⁠
TikTok ⁠here.⁠
Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

142. What is the difference between settling vs. compromising? Marriage requires personal sacrifice... but what does that mean? (Guest: Cameo King + MAFS commentary) Mar 09, 2023

Show notes

Lets all welcome my friend, Cameo King back to the show, you can find her here.

Jump off discussion is about "MAFS" up to episode 8. Points were made & topics were talked about;

3:11 Overall thoughts on Dominique and Mackinley for Cameo. Was Mackinley's response about never dating a Black woman a red flag? Will race play into their issues?
9:58 How I've switched from Dominique's side to now feeling sorry for Mackinley. Who is Cameo rooting for and why? Is there gaslighting going on?
13:45 Is Dominique over judging Mackinley's living situation? We assume her fear is that he is a moving target and not serious about marriage... are we correct?
16:26 If you were entering this MAFS situation do you 'slow burn' (treating it as a dating situation) or 'hard launch' (already treating it as a marriage)?
21:30 Is there a difference in his love for you if he WANTS to 'take out the trash' vs. him doing it just because you want him to? Is that part of the love languages?
24:31 How Dominique's actions are very childish and predictions.
27:48 Shaq & Kirsten is actually Cameo's favorite couple but why?
32:26 Is she crazy due to no pictures in her house? Is she really minimalist for real?
37:20 What is the difference between settling vs. compromising? Marriage requires personal sacrifice... but what does that mean?
47:33 How us believing men 'should just know' is at our detriment. We need to get better at emotionally expressing ourselves.
51:52 Predictions on Shaq & Kirsten.
53:25 Airris and Jasmine. The awkwardness & the drama. How Jasmine's attraction to Airris is blinding her.
56:22 Is Pastor Cal right, that Airris is feeling the pressure of having to have all the feelings for Jasmine because they are already married? Can he turn that around as time goes on?
01:00:00 Is Airris' cousin stepping over the line? Especially how she is treating Jasmine?
01:04:41 When we really like a guy and we are holding out hope, what is the limit? How long do we hold out hope?
1:07:14 Walking in uncertainty and being uncomfortable, as a phase, is that what we are to expect in a relationship?
1:15:00 Why I lean into the slow burn space. Why I hate words from men, especially in the beginning. (let's be clear I do want it later).
1:16:04 Our predictions on Airris and Jasmine. Will they stay married?

Statistic; "Married At First Sight" Has Matched 59 Couples So Far — 15 couples are living happily ever after since the cameras stopped rolling. That's 25.4% of staying married. LESS than finding someone to marry on your own. (source)

“Marriage requires a lot of personal sacrifice” - Pastor Cal

141. How often are you trying to be someone your partner will like? Plus MAFS commentary & predictions. (Guest; Dr. Tiyahri Wilson) Feb 23, 2023

Show notes

Welcome to Season 3 of Single You the podcast. I started this podcast in August of 2020, thank you for every listen, every review, every DM & every share. You have helped me stay consistent.

Now let's get into the tea of S16 E5 & E6 of the reality show "Married at first sight": Marry Me in Tennessee, Nashville. What can we learn from the behaviors of these 3 couples? What behaviors do we not want to execute in our own dating lives?

Points were made;

2:56 Dominique & Mackinley. Are they really meant for each other? Red Flags we see.
4:52 How much is trying to change for someone at our detriment?
6:50 Do opposites truly attract? Is that a good or a bad thing?
11:32 How often do you try to be someone your partner will like?
14:39 Fast launch or slow burn when it comes to this show and making it to decision day.
16:52 Jasmine & Airris. Red flag that he's never been in love and he's 39?
26:10 Would Dr. T tell Jasmine to pack it up and go or wait it out?

More discussion on the following;

How I see love very differently now at 39 vs. 22.
What questions should we be asking about sex?
Should we be that honest when it comes to our attraction to our partner?
Shaquille & Kirsten. What does all that complaining mean for Shaq?
Can attraction grow? Can we date someone long term we aren't attracted to?
Why I no longer say "this is God" especially when it comes to men.

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The first two seasons of “Single You” have been about the journey into a toxic, abusive relationship and the journey out and into healing. They served a specific purpose and those shows will always be there.

Now it’s time to pivot; I want to go on a journey of proving that a marriage can be healthy, people can be happy but it all depends on the truth we tell to ourselves and the work we do.

I speak to the Black woman of faith who desires to be married. Who wants to date with intention.

You can find Tiyahri on Instagram here.

At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.