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140. With dating and the way things are in 2023, do we still want to be married? Plus MAFS commentary & predictions. (Guest; Dr. Tiyahri Wilson) Feb 09, 2023

Show notes

Welcome to Season 3 of Single You the podcast. I started this podcast in August of 2020, thank you for every listen, every review, every DM & every share. You have helped me stay consistent.

Now let's get into the tea of S16 E1 & E2 of the reality show "Married at first sight": Marry Me in Tennessee, Nashville. What can we learn from the behaviors of these 3 couples? What behaviors do we not want to execute in our own dating lives?

Points were made;

2:30 Are most married people miserable?
7:35 With dating and the way things are in 2023, do we still want to be married?
10:47 Why do we watch dating shows? These relationships never last.
16:35 Why would one sign up to marry someone at first sight?
18:52 Couple 1; Domynique/the old soul & Mackinley/The introverted dreamer. Overall thoughts on them as a couple and red flags we see.
22:04 Is 25 is too young, in 2023 is too young to be married?
24:18 Should you be thinking of marriage if you live with your best friends parents?
29:30 Our prediction of Domynique & Mackinley, staying married or divorcing at the end of the show.

Statistic; "Married At First Sight" Has Matched 59 Couples So Far — 15 couples are living happily ever after since the cameras stopped rolling. That's 25.4% of staying married. LESS than finding someone to marry on your own. (source)

30:05 Couple 2: Jasmine/Queen without a King & Airris//Reformed & ready for love. Overall thoughts on them as a couple and red flags we see.
33:10 How we feel about Airris' cousin.
35:00 Is it a red flag if a man says "I have a lack of witnessing traditional relationships" and is sleeping with someone 2 weeks before you get married on MAFS a red flag?
39:25 Our prediction of Jasmine & Airris, staying married or divorcing at the end of the show.
41:28 Couple 3; Kirsten/Ms. Great Expectations & Shaquille/The Devout Workaholic. Overall thoughts on them as a couple and red flags we see.
45:35 Is Shaq masculine enough for Kirsten?
49:15 It's her vain-ness for us. Yuck!
50:04 Can you stay with someone for the long haul, if you aren't attracted to him?
55:42 Relationships are NOT fantasy.
59:23 Our prediction of Kirsten & Shaq, staying married or divorcing at the end of the show.

The first two seasons of “Single You” have been about the journey into a toxic, abusive relationship and the journey out and into healing. They served a specific purpose and those shows will always be there.

Now it’s time to pivot; I want to go on a journey of proving that a marriage can be healthy, people can be happy but it all depends on the truth we tell to ourselves and the work we do.

I speak to the Black woman of faith who desires to be married. Who wants to date with intention.

You can find Tiyahri on Instagram here.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.
Facebook here.
TikTok here.
Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

139. Tiyahri on: How I strategically left my husband after 15 years and living my best life! (now) Dec 15, 2022

Show notes

On this episode, I speak with Dr. Tiyahri. She so graciously shares with us her story of growing up in the church. Being married young, in what she feels was an arranged marriage to strategically leaving her husband after 15 years. Why did she leave? Why does she feel the marriage was arranged? What was she strategic about and how? Let's talk.

Intro: Did anyone have a conversation with her about what makes a healthy relationship vs. Unhealthy in the church before she got married?
6:13 We didn't even know to ask. Growing up on Bel-Air and the Huxtables and bridge we didn't know we needed to close.
8:49 How to keep your husband happy (what she heard from the church).
14:27 Why she felt she was in an arranged marriage.
25:30 Was she tired being his wife and wife of a minister?
37:20 Did she blame herself or him stepping outside of the marriage?
40:09 Church just taught me to cry out and leave it on the alter but therapy taught me...
48:24 What is a healthy marriage to her and is she dating?
52:50 In her professional opinion what are green flags? And It's ok to change your mind.

You can find Tiyahri on Instagram here.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG here.

Twitter here.
Facebook here.
TikTok here.
Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

138. Should we be mad at God for our terrible relationship(s) or is it more about our accountability? (Guest; Claudia Noriega-Bernstein) Nov 17, 2022

Show notes

What about those moments we should leave but don't and why don't we? A conversation with Abundance Coach, Published Author, Creative and Art Director; Claudia Noriega-Bernstein.

Some great moments.

10:28; What do we need to unlearn "about love" from our parents?
23:58; When your "vibe" "energy" is off and your always scared is a great indicator to leave but we don't.
25:12; Other moment(s) we should leave but we don't.
32:27; How do you know if he loves you?
38:17; What is the difference between lust vs. love?
43:14; Communication is key but what does that mean?
45:10; How did religion affect the way you saw relationship negatively?
49:00; Life is about choice but should we be angry at God for those terrible relationship(s)?

"I have dedicated the last twelve years of her life to empower people, especially children, and women. As a life/abundance coach, I have helped people from different backgrounds to discover and implement the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing.
Born in Peru; I come from a culture of taboos and beliefs that had not always empowered me to become what I believed was my calling. In the process of self-discovering, I fell in love with myself again and found my passion for helping others.
Giving back, paying forward, gratitude, and kindness are my pillars for a better world, and I credit them for inspiring my belief system and transforming my life." - Claudia

You can find Claudia and buy her books at the following links;

www.BrighterDaysBook.com
Instagram: @Cindifreakinrella
FB Page: @MyBloomingFamily
Twitter: @Noriega_Clau

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Now, suppose you are ready to invest in yourself, to learn how to do the work to be happy single, truly. You want tools to do better in this area, unlearn bad Christian dating theology, learn how to set and KEEP boundaries and you know you have nothing else to lose. In, that case, I invite you to apply and join the wait list to Single You Academy.

Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

137. Hosted by Cameo; How we participate in our own suffering... when it comes to men, church and everyone else. (A conversation with Reka & Cameo from The Good Girl Podcast) Oct 13, 2022

Show notes

You can find The Good Girl Podcast here. What other topics would you like me to cover? Plus I always love your feedback, please reach out if you feel led. I'm always here. :-) --- Now, suppose you are ready to invest in yourself, to learn how to do the work to be happy single, truly. You want tools to do better in this area, unlearn bad Christian dating theology, learn how to set and KEEP boundaries and you know you have nothing else to lose. In, that case, I invite you to apply and join the wait list to Single You Academy. Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help. DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now! My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_) Twitter here. Facebook here. TikTok here. Email = Reka@justmeReka.com Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here. Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

136. Mel on: Honk for Jesus (movie). Our commentary on the movie and his thoughts on loyalty from his lens of not growing up in Church. Sep 22, 2022

Show notes

Today's guest is Mel from the PreInternet Friend's Podcast. You can find him on IG here and his podcast here.

Flow of show;

Has anyone ever had a conversation with you about what makes a healthy relationship vs. unhealthy?
Not having those conversations… Was that at your detriment?
You didn’t grow up in church — so how would you feel about dating a women who felt she could change you solely by praying for you? Do you feel sorry for women like Trinity?
Would you ever advise a woman to continue to stay with a man she wasn’t happy with? Who continuously embarrassed her/broke her trust? Can a man like that change solely because she wants him to?
Have you ever stayed too long in a relationship— hoping she’d change? If you worked harder? If you love her harder?
What should be the cut off?
Back drop: loyalty is #1 on most Men’s list for a woman - what does loyalty look like to you in this situation? do you have the same expectations for yourself to her? What does loyalty look like in general and explain.
How did you view relationships/love (20s) vs. how do you view relationship/love now? (35+)

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

135. Did you watch Honk for Jesus yet? Cause it's almost time to discuss.... Sep 15, 2022

Show notes

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. is a 2022 American dark comedy-drama film written, directed, and produced by Adamma Ebo, in her feature directorial debut, and is a feature-length adaptation of Ebo's 2018 short film of the same name. Starring Sterling K. Brown and Regina Hall.

This movie has SUCH A LOUD message and I want to discuss. So coming up next week, I ask my homeboy Jay... who didn't grow up in church the following;

Has anyone ever had a conversation with you about what makes a healthy relationship vs. unhealthy?
Not having those conversations… Was that at your detriment?
You didn’t grow up in church — so how would you feel about dating a women who felt she could change you solely by praying for you? Do you feel sorry for women like Trinity?
Would you ever advise a woman to continue to stay with a man she wasn’t happy with? Who continuously embarrassed her/broke her trust? Can a man like that change solely because she wants him to?
Have you ever stayed too long in a relationship— hoping she’d change? If you worked harder? If you love her harder?
What should be the cut off? When do you leave said relationship?
How did you view relationships/love (20s) vs. how do you view relationship/love now? (35+)

Leaving you with this scripture;

And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief (Matthew 13:58)

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. (Matthew 10:14)

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

134. Nikita on: Yes, single can be loud but let's discuss.... How do you manage being single? How do you manage being alone a lot? Sep 08, 2022

Show notes

Flow of show:

1. Yes, single can be loud but let's discuss.... How do you manage being single? How do you manage being alone a lot?

2. Question from DM.

I was sharing scenario of why I’m single to a non believing relative and some church friends … one said “opposites attract, so where your put together be prepared to fill in his gaps” while another argued “science” says that “like attracts like, so you will always pull broken brothers because your broken”- I honestly was stuck to think, this is how people see me??? Damned either way. I’m not perfect, but I surely am not broken, I’m on a journey to be better and heal to be ready and equipped in my authenticity nor will I be codependent for someone either.. have you ever been pigeon holed with these statements & how do you respond?

3. Are you 'dating' and what are you running into as of late while dating. Plus the question I've been asked by a man that I've never been asked before.

4. What do you think single women have to give up once they get married/have kids?

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

133. "Relationships are ego driven and not pure" - Lauren London and I overstand what she meant. Let's talk... Jul 21, 2022

Show notes

Angie Martinez IRL Podcast | We're All Gonna Die: Lauren London. Click here.

Check out episode 49. Titled: How can we be so confident in our professional life but not in the lane of relationship? Click here.

Check out episode 50. Titled: Anwar on: If you were raised to be a daughter instead of a woman, then re-parenting yourself is a necessary step to your healing and love journey! Click here.

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

132. Sis, if you just ended a toxic relationship (yet again)... Do this so you can stop this cycle you keep having with men. Jul 14, 2022

Show notes

Excellence comes from order > which brings peace.

"In the Bible no one is called your blessing unless they have the power to produce well-being in you and are deeply connected to you in faith and social bond". - God's wisdom for navigating life by Timothy and Kathy Keller

You are going to have to decide, do you want what the word has been offering you for the rest of your life or do you want to see what Gods got for you, like for real? Not the level you're settling for cause God loves you regardless but if you want more peace, the peace that is promised from God. You have work to do.

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10-29
10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

Let's reverse engineer this thang and start from with in instead of outside of you. Seeking the attention of men.

Listen to episode 43. Lanaya on: What does a God fearing man even mean... look like? Plus how it may be causing you to be mishandled by men consistently. Click here.
Listen to episode 43.2. Becoming her; a woman who holds herself accountable to future you... the woman you say you want to be! Click here.

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

131. The ugly truth about wanting to be picked by him so badly. Jun 30, 2022

Show notes

New to me? My name is Reka and I work with Women of Faith: READY for guidance on KEEPING boundaries & getting over the shame of constantly being mishandled by men.

Listen to 59. I don't believe a lot of Women Of Faith know what love truly is.... here

Listen to episode 60. Lu'Cretia on: I thought that if I did girlfriend things then 'he' who I dated would eventually choose to be with me. Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Also the episode with my former client Nikkita is titled; Having shame as a professional Black woman who's single and constantly being mishandled by men (her testimonial of SYA). and you can listen here.

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Thank you again for your consideration. I look forward to learning more about you and how we might be-able to help.

DM me *boundaries* or Click here to complete your application now!

My DM is always open! Find me on IG here. (the fake TikTok account, I'd love for you to report = @justmeReka_)

Twitter here.

Facebook here.

TikTok here.

Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Single You the Pillow Collection; Shop Here.

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a