Self Helpful with Kevin Miller

Latest Episodes:

Is There A Bigger Flex Than Emotional Intelligence w/ Georgetown Professor Patrick Kilcarr Dec 30, 2024

Show notes

I spent a lifetime pursuing external performance. What we achieve athletically, entrepreneurially and even altruistically. I upheld the skill and ability of social awareness and reading and influencing people. I put a high value on controlling oneself. What I missed was knowing myself and understanding emotions. If I could go back, I’d trade in so much…maybe everything, for emotional intelligence. I find no greater understanding, wisdom, and power than that which comes from having high emotional intelligence. Which I don’t have. I still feel I’m in early training. And I’m ecstatic that I found my guest in this episode, Patrick Kilcarr. Patrick has been the Director of Georgetown University’s Center for Personal Development since 1999. He is a master trainer in emotional intelligence, certifying professionals to use the EQ-i2.0 (the most valid and reliable self-assessment of emotional intelligence) to assess and evaluate the social and emotional competencies of individuals in a variety of professional venues. All of Patrick’s work is directed toward strengthening the individual with respect to his/her innate talents and abilities. He has written extensively on emotional intelligence, addiction, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I found Patrick through a book he published in 2022, called Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your Emotional Intelligence to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life.. Dr. Kilcarr maintains a private practice in Washington, DC where he offers individual, couples, group, and family therapy. More information at his website https://theeilife.com/

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How To Accept Your Lack But Not Be Limited By It w/ Erik Weihenmayer Dec 27, 2024

Show notes

We all have areas where we are lacking. Weaknesses. I spent a long time trying to deny mine, and it limited my success. Many people recognize their lack, and let them limit their success. Then there are those who understand and accept where they are lacking, and adjust accordingly to not let themselves be limited by it. Case in point, Erik Weihenmayer. Erik is blind. Completely. He lacks the ability to see anything. He wasn’t born blind but lost his sight due to a rare eye disease at age of 13. There is nothing he can do about it. He accepted this, and adjusted accordingly. And then went on to climb Mt Everest. He has climbed all 7 of the world’s greatest Summits. He has kayaked the Grand Canyon. And he devoted his life to helping everyone overcome the lacks in their lives and do great things anyway. Tom Ziglar and I sat down with Erik to talk about his message and I’m bringing the show back to you from the archives to help you look to the coming New Year with more hope and possibility. Find Erik at ErikWeihenmayer.com and his book, No Barriers, is a great story of his rafting trip across the Grand Canyon and his message of overcoming.

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Work & Money: What Are Your Core Values Dec 26, 2024

Show notes

I’m wrapping up this series on core values in the categories of work and money. These are areas where I find we are very, very often…unclear. We think we work to make money and we make money so we can get the stuff we need. Do the things we want. And we are blind to any core values. And when we are blind, we find ourselves dissatisfied and frustrated with the poor results we achieve. So, let’s do a little drive for some clarity.

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Health/Wellness & Mental Health: What Are Your Core Values Dec 25, 2024

Show notes

Continuing on the topic of core values, let's now look at our health and wellness, and our mental health. Our mental state is what I like to focus on. My muse here is again, Robert Glazer, host of the Elevate podcast, who in our conversation two episodes ago, walked us through how he came to his core values and how the understanding and clarity directed his life to…what he wanted his life to be. And my focus in this series is gaining much more tangible, applicable understanding of what core values are, and what yours and mine specifically are. So we can achieve the results we desire.

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Spirituality & Relationships: What Are Your Core Values Dec 24, 2024

Show notes

As we talked about core values in the last episode with Robert Glazer, host of the Elevate podcast, I am taking the opportunity for all of us to consider our core values in the key areas of life. This is ultimately what I do in my book, What Drives You. The first two I’ll address in this episode are spirituality and relationships. I find a lot of people simply stating, “Yes, I value spirituality in my life.” And, “Yes, I value relationships, of course.” But spirituality and relationships are “what” and core values are “how.” I actually have a resource you can use to help you clarify your core values as we walk through the key areas of life that I think you will find truly helpful.

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Discover Your Core Values & Let Them Direct Your Life w/ Robert Glazer Dec 23, 2024

Show notes

My experience is most everyone thinks they know what their core values are, and in truth, very, very few do. And due to this we find ourselves doing things that are not fulfilling to us, and not engaged with what does fulfill us. Amidst that we grow…frustrated. Even to bitterness. Or fairly apathetic and just going through the grind. So I’ve brought someone on to the show to hear his story, of going from not understanding his core values, to getting very clear on them. I think it will help you better understand what core values really are and how to get clarity on yours…and adjust your life accordingly. Robert Glazer was walking aimlessly through school with his drive…disengaged. He decided to travel abroad and found his interest in business outside the school walls. He started learning the ropes, but it was still later that he found a desire to clarify his values. He spent six months getting clear on four, key core values. When he discovered them, he says the next 15 years were just fantastic. He founded a global marketing agency, started an inspirational newsletter called Friday Forward that reaches over 200,000 readers worldwide each week, and hit the #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller list as author of several books, including Elevate, and now is host of the Elevate Podcast. His show has many similar guests as I do here, and what drives them is a key focal point, but he gives more space to a business focus. As you enjoy the What Drives You podcast, I’m confident you’ll greatly appreciate Robert Glazer’s Elevate podcast. And if you go to robertglazer.com you can sign up for his Friday Forward newsletter on Substack.

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Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount

Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans

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Story: How To Make Your Offering Compelling To The Perfect Person w/ Donald Miller Dec 20, 2024

Show notes

Everyone lives in their own story. They are a character in their story. If you want to offer them something, a product, a service, a message, your influence, a helping hand…whatever, you want to enter their story. The master of this is Donald Miller. I first met Don through his spiritually based memoirs. Don was a writer. An artist. Over time he sold zillions of books to people like me and along the way learned how to translate his gift of storywriting to the world of business. He started a company called Storyline and I attended his very first conference in Portland, OR with my Dad, brother, and uncle. Following is a conversation I had when Don had just released his book, Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen. In it he flips our perspective of how to promote what we have to offer to the public. It’s not about our product or service, it is about the customer. Don takes us through the structure of a good storyline and how we can, and must apply it to our offerings in this format; “A CHARACTER who wants something encounters a PROBLEM before they can get it. At the peak of their despair, a GUIDE steps into their lives, gives them a PLAN, and CALLS THEM TO ACTION. That action helps them avoid FAILURE and ends in SUCCESS.” You can find Don at storybrand.com

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Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

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Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans

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End The Year Soft Dec 19, 2024

Show notes

I saw a post that said this, “Instead of finishing the year strong, why don’t we finish the year soft? Why don’t we finish the year restful and grateful for making it through yet another crazy cycle of earth?” It really stuck with me as I pondered the days ahead, through Christmas and the New Year. I thought about what would bless…myself. And then my family and friends. The holidays are happening and a new year is coming and what could I do to have a more memorable and meaningful time? And I had far less doing come to mind, and a lot more being. Drive with me to ponder it if you would.

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Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount

Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans

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Identity: How Much Does Your Identity Dictate Your Decisions Dec 18, 2024

Show notes

Two episodes ago I had Talia Fox on the show. The turning point in her difficult life was realizing she had to let go of her identity, meaning, quit identifying as the girl who was a victim and had little opportunity or possibility. She did this. And from it she said, “I became obsessed with human and social behavior and how our identities shape our choices and our lives.” I think most of us never question our identity, we just assume we are who we are and that’s that. We can learn and do different things but who we be is set. We think of identity as fixed, like the color of your eyes. And yet I see us change our identities all the time and we don’t even realize it. If we conceptualize it better, we can open ourselves up to…a very expanded self.

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Choice: Having It And Wanting It Are Two Different Things Dec 17, 2024

Show notes

I’ve been intrigued by the sudden superhero concept for a long time. Peter Parker gets bitten by a spider and turns into spiderman. Bruce Banner gets exposed to radiation and turns into the Hulk. Some other guy or girl falls into a chemical vat and develops super powers. None of them chose those things to happen. But in our daily lives, seldom do specific and acute things happen to us like that. In most cases, we have choices to make, and I find that in seemingly hard circumstances, we’d rather there was just one, forced circumstance. Choosing between what looks like challenging options all around can overwhelm us. My muse for this topic is the guest from the previous episode, Talia Fox, author of The Power of Conscious Connection: 4 Habits To Transform How You Live And Lead. The beginning of her book tells the story of her crying in a stairwell while holding the baby she is a single parent to, feeling at the end of her rope. After the sobbing subsided it just hit her that, “Something has to change.” And she changed it. But it brings up this issue of choice and how it feels when we feel backed in a corner.

Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial

Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount

Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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