Self Helpful with Kevin Miller

Latest Episodes:

Grace: Who Deserves It, What About Justice & How Does It Help Us w/ Julia Baird Dec 02, 2024

Show notes

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You hit me, I hit you back. You disrespect me, I disrespect you. That would be the opposite of grace. Grace is generally considered offering a kindness, anyways. When it’s undeserved. I don’t feel the culture gives much value to the idea anymore. We are afraid that letting a wrong go unpunished will enable others. But as our mental health continues to decline and we find more people in more relational conflict than ever, I wanted to dig into the lost art of grace. So I sat down with Julia Baird. Julia is an Australian journalist, broadcaster, and internationally bestselling author who contributes to the New York Times and the Sydney Morning Herald and is a cohost of the Not Stupid podcast. She has a brand new book out, titled bright shining: how grace changes everything. I dug into the hard questions around grace and ultimately came away asking myself, what kind of person do I want to be? What behavior will add the most to my life? One who errors on the side of grace? Or tit for tat?

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Self-Compassion: What Is The Payoff of Concern vs Indifference For Yourself w/ Dr. Kristin Neff Nov 30, 2024

Show notes

As a guy, the concept of compassion has little place in my life. Especially as an athlete, there was no value in compassion. You ignore any pain and keep going. It reminds me of the depiction of the army sergeant yelling at the soldier to suck it up and march on. As a culture, I think we still put more value on sucking it up and keeping going and being indifferent to ourselves, than having compassion. Though we miss that we can still keep going when the circumstances demand it, and have some needed compassion. Compassion is having concern for others and ourselves and the opposite of concern is indifference. I can’t find value in indifference to self, in normal life, outside of maybe sports and the battlefield. Seven years ago I sat down and had a conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff about it. Kristin received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, studying moral development. At the time she had done a TED talk with millions of views, and published a book, “Self Compassion”, The Proven Power of Being kind to yourself. I talked with her, as I perceived the value of self-compassion. But in truth, it’s taken me a long time to let it actually integrate into my life. I wish I’d stuck with it then. But, better late than never. I spent some time recently discussing self-compassion with my own therapist, and am bringing this conversation back to benefit us both.

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Giving Thanks For Self: What Would Make The Holidays Better For Everyone Nov 29, 2024

Show notes

Imaging waking tomorrow for Thanksgiving. You are in a jail cell. You look out the one, small window of your cell where you can see a perfect, Norman Rockwell scene of the holidays. Kids outside sledding, people ice skating. People cooking. Eating. Laughing. And loving. A voice comes over an intercom and tells you to give thanks for all you see outside. You reply and say, OK, but can I please just go out and be a part of it all?” The voice says, “Yes!” So you say, “Well, who is going to let me out of here?” The voice responds, “You can, as soon as you are thankful for yourself.” I think this is how many people go about trying to give thanks. Drive with me a moment.

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Positive Programming: How To Properly Program Your Mind For Goodness Nov 27, 2024

Show notes

My recent show with Upworthy VP Lucia Knell and head of content and innovation Gabriel Reilich about the book they put together called, GOOD PEOPLE: Stories From the Best of Humanity, has me continually thinking about how much good programming I put in my head. In reading the book which is a compilation of great stories of humanity, I got to considering how much I fill my mind with uplifting messages. The news and most of media focus on bad news. Problems. Drama. Most movies and shows are the same. What I realized is that while I spend a lot of time taking in great messages of personal and spiritual development and human potential, I don’t really take in many, truly uplifting messages, and I am missing out on a vital ingredient to be and feel my best and improve my mental health. Let’s look at what we may be missing and what we stand to gain with intentionally taking in good news.

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Worldview: How It Controls Your Existence & How To Revise It For Greater Benefit Nov 26, 2024

Show notes

What is a worldview? AI defines it as a person's or society's fundamental way of thinking about the world, and it's made up of their values, beliefs, and expectations. I take this one step further to say your worldview ends up being your experience of life. People by far and large think reality makes up their life experience. A reality would be the latest presidential election, but as we all know, the experience people had of it is vastly different. I submit their experience of it is their worldview, as it can’t be reality. And people will debate this based upon two things - Faith & Prediction. Let’s break it down.

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Good News: Are People Actually Bad & Is The World Really A Trashcan Fire. Or Not. w/ Gabriel Reilich & Lucia Knell of Upworthy Nov 25, 2024

Show notes

You may well have heard of Upworthy. Upworthy is a media brand that focuses on positive storytelling. They have millions of followers on social media and email subscribers, who tune in to hear good news. Upworthy recently came out with a book, that focused on key areas of human goodness, and it is just stories. Just incredible stories of the best of humanity that people share with them each and every day, at a great amount. The book is called Good People and I was really curious as to what led the authors to sift through the stories and land on certain categories, such as chapter one which is, "The Kindness of Strangers." They shared how many stories came in of what we generally call, random acts of kindness. Following is my conversation with the authors, Lucia Knell who is Vice President of Upworthy, and Gabriel Reilich who is head of content and innovation. I think you'll find a really uplifting, inspiring and honestly, equipping discussion here. It really bolstered my faith, which bolsters...everything.

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Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

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Expectations: How To Have High Expectations & Not Disappoint Yourself Nov 22, 2024

Show notes

The topic of expectations continues to come up as I talk with people in the human potential movement. As an aspiring person who would be listening to a podcast like this, of course you have some positive expectations for yourself. And yet I’d say the enemy of expectations is disappointment. So how do we have high expectations but not set ourselves up for disappointment? I’m bringing back a podcast from when I did The Ziglar Show, with Christine Hassler. Christine made expectations a focus and wrote a book called, Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself From Your Past, Change your Present and Get What you Really Want. Right off the bat you’ll hear Christine say, “Managing your expectations is not about lowering your standards.” Christine Hassler is the best-selling author of multiple books. She left her successful job as a Hollywood agent to pursue a life she could be passionate about. She is a keynote speaker, retreat facilitator, spiritual psychologist and life coach, and host of the top-rated podcast “Over it and On With It”, www.christinehassler.com

Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial

Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou

Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Non-Productive Activities: Can Help You Be More Productive Nov 21, 2024

Show notes

Wrapping up this series on productivity that started with my conversation with Israa Nasir about the message in her book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More, I’m looking at un-productive activities. But it’s not just idle time and entertainment. Think of it more like play, which may be a foreign term for you at this point in life. I want to look at activities that aren’t necessarily producing anything, you are just doing them to do them and for the joy and energy they give you. And looking at how they can fuel to be actually be more productive overall.

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Busyness: Is Your Busyness Attracting Or Repelling People? Nov 20, 2024

Show notes

I continue to ponder the message from Israa Nasir in her book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More. And I’m thinking about the people in and around my life and what attracts me to some and not others. And I’m realizing that the really busy people, even if they might seem important, don’t inspire me to pursue them. And the people that are more available, I innately have more respect and desire for. Which has me looking at myself and considering how I come off to others and how I’m probably limiting my opportunities for relationships and connection.

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Proving Ourselves: Who We Are Trying To Impress & Why Nov 19, 2024

Show notes

In my previous episode with Israa Nasir we talked about the message in her book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More. Looking at being addicted to productivity and busyness, I want to look at our motives. To a degree, I feel we are often trying to prove ourselves. Prove our worth. Why? Well, our self-worth must be in question. And who are we trying to prove it to? Others, or ultimately, ourselves?

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