Relationship Advice

Latest Episodes:

The Secret Language of Empathy & How To Use It Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skillset, and in this episode, we break down its secret language. From how to stop jumping to advice-giving to what true emotional presence really looks like, we explore the four essential attributes of empathy. If you’ve ever wondered why your support sometimes falls flat—or how to help your partner feel more understood—this episode is your guide to getting out of the “fix-it” trap and into deeper connection.

We talk about topics such as:

- The Four Attributes of Empathy

- Why We Default to Fixing Instead of Empathizing

- Empathy ≠ Agreement

- How to Build the Empathy Muscle

- and more!

Brene Brown Empathy Video mentioned

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If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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How To Dismantle Shame Jun 25, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the experience of shame, tracing it back to early childhood moments when we first began to believe something was wrong with us. They explore the difference between shame and guilt, how shame shows up in relationships through defensiveness or withdrawal, and why healing it requires identifying core shame messages and grief over unmet needs.

In this episode, we talk about:

- Shame is the fear of disconnection

- Shame shows up in relationships

- Grieving unmet needs

- Replacing shame with truth

- and more!

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Why We Rush To Solutions & What We Should Do Instead Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

We often rush to offer solutions when a loved one expresses emotional distress, not because we don't care, but because it's uncomfortable to witness pain—both theirs and our own. While advice and plans may seem helpful, skipping over empathy and validation can make others feel dismissed or misunderstood. In this episode, the hosts unpack why we default to fixing and offer tools to slow down, connect emotionally first, and ask what support is actually needed.

In this episode, we cover topics such as:

- Fixing as a Coping Strategy

- Forms of Fixing

- Impact of Fixing

- What to Do Instead

- And more!

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Knowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And Others Jun 11, 2025

Show notes

Being able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more vulnerably and effectively.

In this episode we talk about:

Language Shapes Emotional Awareness
The Four Core Emotions
People Vary in Emotional Intensity
Connection Requires Vulnerability
Self-Reflection Tools
And more!

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Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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Making Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s Responses Jun 04, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection.

We cover topics such as:

We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities.
Generous assumptions reduce conflict.
Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.”
Mutual generosity creates safety.
And more!

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PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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When Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made Explicit May 28, 2025

Show notes

Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic.

We cover topics such as:

Protected vs Vulnerable Requests
“You Should Just Know” Myth
Context Over Commands
Collaborative Communication
And More!

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Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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For When You Feel Disillusioned In Your Relationship May 21, 2025

Show notes

This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go.

We cover topics such as:

Feeling let down in a relationship is normal
Life stress makes connection harder
Attraction isn’t just about looks
Early relationships feel easier because there's less pressure
And More!

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Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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How Much Of Our Intimate Partner Relationships We Should Be Sharing May 14, 2025

Show notes

This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape our comfort with disclosure. The conversation emphasizes that couples benefit from explicit conversations about preferences, risks, and the importance of flexibility when navigating this topic.

We cover topics such as:

Motivations for Sharing
Risks of Oversharing
Family, Cultural, and Attachment Influence
Need for Individual & Mutual Reflection
And more!

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Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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How To Know When To Call It Quits In A Relationship May 07, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult.

They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathering support, experimenting with boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help like couples therapy or intensives for greater clarity.

We cover topics such as:

Why It Feels Hard To Leave
Signals It’s Time To Leave
Importance of Gathering Input
Professional Support & Intensives
And more!

Give Me Discounts!

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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How to Know When To Take A Break in Conflict Apr 30, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as avoidance but as tools for better communication can help couples build trust and deeper understanding.

We cover topics such as:

Recognizing Dysregulation
Breaks vs Avoidance
Organizing During Breaks
Fear of Not Returning
Reengaging Vulnerability
And more!

Give Me Discounts!

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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