Relationship Advice

Latest Episodes:

Managing Your Boundaries with Family Over the Holidays Nov 19, 2025

Show notes

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. CLICK HERE TO JOIN

The holidays can bring a mix of love, laughter, and a little chaos. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about what happens when family dynamics, politics, and expectations collide at the dinner table—and how to stay grounded through it all. You’ll learn how to manage emotional triggers, set flexible boundaries, and focus on connection instead of conflict. Whether you’re hosting or visiting, this episode helps you keep your peace while staying true to your values.

Main Talking Points:
• Navigating family triggers
• Setting flexible boundaries
• Hosting vs. visiting dynamics
• Planning exit strategies
• Dodging heated topics
• Leading with values

DISCOUNTS & LINKS:
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If you love this episode, would you mind leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts? It means the world to us and only takes a minute.
– Colter, Cayla & Lauren

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People Pleasing and When You Get Invited To Chilli's Nov 14, 2025

Show notes

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS

Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.

CLICK HERE TO JOIN

Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore the roots, costs, and recovery process of people pleasing, highlighting how it often stems from fear of conflict, guilt, or learned conditioning. The hosts discuss the emotional and relational toll—like resentment, burnout, and lack of authentic connection—while also offering practical tools to build awareness, set boundaries, and communicate needs more clearly. Ultimately, they emphasize shifting from guilt-based to values-based decision-making in relationships.

Main Talking Points:

Fear and guilt origins
Childhood conditioning
Emotional costs
Boundary setting
Practicing “soft no’s”

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Amazfit - Visit to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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Has Psychobabble Infiltrated Our Culture? A conversation with Joe Nucci Nov 05, 2025

Show notes

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS

Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.

⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠

In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter and Cayla sit down with therapist and author Joe Nucci to unpack themes from his book Psychobabble. They dive into common therapy-related myths—like the idea that “everyone needs therapy” or that “more emotional intimacy is always better”—and explore how cultural messages about mental health can sometimes oversimplify or distort deeper truths. The conversation blends humor and insight as they challenge overused self-help tropes, advocate for nuance, and discuss how real growth happens both inside and outside of therapy.

Main Talking Points:

- Myth: “Everyone needs therapy” — therapy is beneficial but not always necessary

- Limited therapist availability and mental health as a social justice issue

- Myth: “More emotional intimacy = healthier relationship” — intimacy looks different for everyone

- Dangers of over-standardizing “emotional health” in relationships

- Therapy as preparation vs. real-world relational growth

- Attraction patterns, emotional awareness, and learning through experience

Joe’s Links:

- Instagram

- Website

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NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Beducate - Visit beducate.me/relationship69 and use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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How To Navigate Family Drama Part 2 - In Laws Oct 29, 2025

Show notes

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS

Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.

⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠

Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack the tricky dynamics of navigating family drama—especially with in-laws—through relatable stories, humor, and therapy-based insight. They explore how couples often get caught in “who’s right” battles instead of understanding each other’s emotional experiences and family conditioning. The conversation moves from examples like holiday conflicts and boundary differences to practical strategies for curiosity, validation, and creating teamwork when families collide.

Main Talking Points:

- Holidays & expectations: balancing rest, traditions, and competing family rituals.

- Boundaries & input: navigating unsolicited advice and over-involvement from in-laws.

- Cultural & parenting differences: managing contrasting values, politics, or child-rearing styles.
- Underlying emotions: shifting from “who’s right” to sharing how it feels (e.g., feeling stuck, unseen, guilty).

- Triangulation awareness: avoiding being pulled into sides or family alliances.

- Repair & curiosity: using calm, validating conversations outside conflict to understand each other and build connection.

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Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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How To Navigate Family Drama Oct 22, 2025

Show notes

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS

Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.

⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get heated. They explore common sources of family drama—holidays, parenting, politics, religion, and generational expectations—and how guilt, resentment, and old patterns keep us stuck. Ultimately, the conversation centers on learning to slow down, identify our triggers, set boundaries with compassion, and find ways to stay connected even when we disagree.

Main Talking Points:

- Common sources of family conflict (holidays, parenting, money, politics)

- “Rules of the game” in family systems

- Understanding triggers and nervous system responses

- Balancing boundaries with connection

- Compassionate communication and timing

- What you can—and can’t—control in family relationships

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NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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Creating A Positive Cycle Oct 15, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection.

Main Talking Points:

Awareness of triggers & old cycles
Naming stories with curiosity
Accountability vs. defensiveness
Intentional “deposits” of connection
Repair through validation & empathy
“Help me help you help me” negotiation

Give Me Discounts!

NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica Baum Oct 08, 2025

Show notes

Jessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation—as a pathway toward secure attachment and earned security.

Colter, Lauren, and Jessica talk about topics such as:

- Codependency = anxious attachment

- Cultural pressure for independence

- Healing through safe connection

- Importance of anchors/secure people

- Co-regulation before self-regulation

- Familiar vs. healthy attraction

Freebie from Jessica: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview

Give Me Discounts!

NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Can't They Just Get Over It Oct 01, 2025

Show notes

This episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection.

Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into topics like:

- Why little things often hit deeper emotional scars.

- How “just get over it” shuts down closeness instead of fixing the problem.

- Signs that your partner’s reaction is about more than the moment. - Simple shifts—curiosity, empathy, and listening—that help your partner feel seen.

- How repair after conflict builds more trust than avoiding fights.

Give Me Discounts!

NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Love Withdrawers Well Sep 24, 2025

Show notes

Most people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster secure attachment, and strengthen your bond.

Cayla, Colter, and Lauren discuss topics such as:

Understanding Withdrawers
Key Challenges for Withdrawers
Common Patterns in the Relationship
Practical Strategies for Loving Withdrawers
Balancing Needs in the Relationship
Shifting Toward Secure Attachment
And more!

Give Me Discounts!

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Love Pursuers Well Sep 17, 2025

Show notes

This episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics.

Key Discussion Points

Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior?

Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments of disconnection or conflict, attempt to restore the relationship by seeking engagement. However, their strategies—such as high-energy behaviors, demands, or criticisms—often come across as overwhelming to their partner. Pursuers act out of fear—fear of being abandoned, ignored, or dismissed. Kayla highlights that beneath the demands and criticisms is often a deep sense of insecurity and fear of losing the relationship.

Give Me Discounts!

Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice

Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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