Relationship Advice

Latest Episodes:

Sex: When To Say Yes & When To Say No Feb 12, 2025

Show notes

Today Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response.

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

Understanding Individual Preferences
Accelerators & Breaks (Turn Ons/Offs)
Importance of Communication
Counter Offers / Negotiation
Creating a Safe Environment

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Boundaries Feb 05, 2025

Show notes

Today Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propose counter-offers based on personal capacity and relational dynamics.

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

Binary Boundaries: Resentment vs. Guilt
Values-Based Decisions Making
The Cost of Impulsive Responses
Counter Offers: Editing Requests
and more!

Give Me Discounts!

Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off

Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code “IDO” for 40% off.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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Pursuers Jan 29, 2025

Show notes

We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!

In this episode we discuss:

The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards
How pursuers handle conflict
How we can love our pursuer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers

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Withdrawers Jan 22, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, we discuss:

The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards
How withdrawers handle conflict
How we can love our withdrawer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers

Sponsored

Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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You Can Either Be Right Or Be In A Relationship. Jan 15, 2025

Show notes

In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important.

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

Focusing on how vs what
Understanding emotional needs
Effective Communication Strategies
Why we are not pavlov’s dogs
and more!

Sponsored

Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off.

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Individuation Is The Key To Your Relationship Jan 08, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges, emphasizing the importance of understanding and negotiating needs.

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

Understanding Individuation
Emotional Needs vs. Actionable Requests
Raw Spots and Their Influence
Negotiation and Boundaries
Effective Communication Strategies
and more!

Episode Links

Actionable Requests Document

Emotional Needs Document

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490: The Window of Tolerance And Staying Emotionally Regulated Jan 02, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpersonal dynamics.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

Window of Tolerance Overview
Emotional Regulation
Fight, Flight, Freeze Impulses
Triggers and Resources
Relational Applications
Practical Tools

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Episode Links

Thrive Therapy

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489: What Can You Learn After 500 Episodes? Chase Celebration! Dec 26, 2024

Show notes

On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being.

In this episode we discuss topics that include:

Chase's Reflections on Hosting
Attachment Styles
Effective Communication
Balance in Relationships
Friendships and Support Networks
Therapeutic and Somatic Practices

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488: Foundations of a Healthy Relationship Dec 18, 2024

Show notes

This episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance
Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles
Vulnerability
Emotional Connection
Roles of Boundaries
Building Skills Through Practice

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Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

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487: Protective Moves Dec 11, 2024

Show notes

In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies.

Key Points Include:

Understanding Protective Moves
Examples and Intentions
Origins and Patterns
Moving Through Conflict
Building Resources

The hosts emphasized that while protective moves are natural, fostering awareness and understanding can transform them from barriers to bridges in relationships. They closed by advocating for patience, self-compassion, and communication to navigate these dynamics effectively.

Sponsors:

Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices