Pillow Talks

Latest Episodes:

Episode 70: How To Keep Stress Low And Pleasure High When You’re Trying To Conceive Sep 22, 2022

Show notes

Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods of their relationship. But if you don’t get pregnant right away, things can quickly take a turn - worrying that something is wrong, fear that it will never happen, the medical appointments, the pressure, the schedules…

With all that stress, it’s no wonder that your sex life can really suffer while trying to conceive.

Today we’re sharing 5 ways to protect your relationship during your TTC journey. It’s a heavy topic, but we’ll try to make you laugh along the way.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

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Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode70

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Episode 69: What Do Men REALLY Think About… Part Two! (Lingerie, Boobs, Money, Queefing, and More!) Sep 15, 2022

Show notes

Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think about lingerie? Can they handle a woman who makes more money or has a higher sex drive? When it comes to breasts, do they care about size or symmetry? Nipple size or color?

We also polled the men in our Instagram community so we could take an even deeper look at the male psyche.

And we even talk about the two topics that have caused some serious issues in our relationship.

Don’t miss the laughter, the deep dives, and return of Xander’s dulcet tones serenading the podcast!

Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode69

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Episode 68: The Ultimate Butt Stuff Episode Sep 09, 2022

Show notes

No, you’re not having deja vu… Butt Stuff is back!

We originally released a Butt Stuff episode almost a year ago, and it has consistently been one of our top 5 episodes. It has been so popular that we decided to turn it into a course… conveniently named Butt Stuff as well 🤣

In celebration, we decided to re-record a podcast episode with all of your most pressing questions. We cover everything in this episode! Hemorrhoids, hairy buttholes, safety, straight dudes being on the receiving end, and the one big fear that so many of us have… will there be poop?!

We know there’s some fear and anxiety surrounding the back door, because 72% of our Instagram audience said they’re intimidated by butt stuff. But with 67% admitting to still being curious, we decided to bust those myths and give you the facts so you can decide if anal play is worth a try. (Pssst! It is!)

Links & Resources:

👉 ⁠⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER)⁠

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode68

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Episode 67: Hot Takes: How We REALLY Feel About Your Most Requested Topics Sep 01, 2022

Show notes

Definition of hot take: a quickly produced, strongly worded, and often deliberately provocative or sensational opinion or reaction. You guys are always asking us for our “hot takes” on some of the most divisive sex topics like threesomes, strip clubs, pegging, 69, and even the age old spit vs swallow debate, so we decided to put them all together in one episode!

We’re getting real and holding nothing back as we dish on over a dozen hot topics that you sent in. (Spoiler alert: we don’t agree on all of them!) Some of our answers may surprise you, but we promise you will be entertained.

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode67

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Episode 66: The True Story Of How We Built A Sex Therapy Business Aug 25, 2022

Show notes

You’ve asked us over email, Instagram, YouTube, everything short of a carrier pigeon… How the heck did we get into the sex therapy business? And do we manage working and living together every day as a married couple? The time has come for us to share all the details about our business, from how we started to where we are now.

You’ll hear about it all… Vanessa floundering to figure out her path. Why we moved to Berlin. Xander’s identity crisis. Our most embarrassing moments, and plenty of business “fails.” We get vulnerable about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the journey that took us from corporate hell to living out our dreams together.

And stick around to the end to be the first to hear what’s coming next!

Get $400 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at BirchLiving.com/pillow

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode66

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Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process Aug 18, 2022

Show notes

Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over drinks with friends. The thing that you don’t even admit to yourself if we are being honest.

Let’s talk about the shame surrounding sex.

Our Instagram audience tells us that 74% of us have experienced it in our lifetime, with 30% currently going through it. (But we’d bet real money that both of those numbers are much higher.) There are so many things that plague us when it comes to sex: body counts, sexual identities, doing things “the right way”, doing something too much or not enough or not at all.

It’s EXHAUSTING, but it doesn’t have to be!

Sex should be about pleasure and joy, freedom and exploration, certainly not about worry and regret. In this episode, we walk you through reprogramming the way you approach sex in your life, in 7 steps.

Links & Resources:

PDF Guide: 7 Steps to Deconstructing Sexual Shame

Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode65

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Episode 64: Are You Roommates or Romantic Partners? Aug 11, 2022

Show notes

Are you worried you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? We asked our Instagram audience, and the numbers were shocking! A whopping 91% said their relationship has gone through a Roommates Phase, and 46% said they’re in one right now.

So why does it seem like no one is talking about the Roommates Phase?

In this episode we do a deep dive into what the Roommates Phase means, and how to get out of it before it’s too late. Let us help you end the drought and get back that lovin’ feelin’!

(Psst - Xander even sings about it within the first four minutes of this episode…)

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode64

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Episode 63: Does Your Partner Care Enough About YOUR Pleasure? Aug 04, 2022

Show notes

Do you ever find yourself feeling kinda… disappointed after intercourse with your partner?

Or worse, faking it just to “get it over with”?

Maybe you’ve tried talking to him about it and telling them you need more, but he got defensive and nothing changed.

This episode has been a long time coming! We hear SO many stories from our audience about how men just don’t prioritize female pleasure as much as they should.

There are a lot of reasons why there’s such a huge orgasm gap in male-female sex, so we break it down into 3 main categories, complete with real-life examples. (Including an example from our own relationship!)

We firmly believe that everyone who wants an orgasm, gets an orgasm. This episode will take you through, step-by-step, exactly to make sure that happens!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode63

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Episode 62: The Truth About Money and Relationships Jul 28, 2022

Show notes

Are you sick of fighting about money in your relationship? Maybe you’ve even thought you and your partner are incompatible because of how differently you both think about spending and saving. Trust us, you’re not alone!

This episode is for you if you feel like you need to keep purchases a secret. Or maybe you’re just exasperated by how much money your partner spends. We know how easily that tension and resentment can build.

Today we’ll be addressing money issues within relationships advice column style — with real life stories and questions from our audience. As we help them troubleshoot, we’ll be giving easy to implement tips on approaching money issues in relationships.

Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode62

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Episode 61: Putting The O Back In Mom: Reigniting Your Sex Life After Kids Jul 21, 2022

Show notes

Are you struggling to have a great sex life now that you’re a mom?

As women, we wear so many hats and have so many identities. We’re wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters, friends, and mothers. But what happens when these identities feel like they’re in conflict with one another?

A whopping 91% of our Instagram followers said their sex life got harder after kids. We heard things like, “It’s hard to feel confident in my new body,” “Everyone always needs something, and I’m tired of giving,” and, “I’m just EXHAUSTED!”

In this episode, we’re here to give you practical tips to creating the sex life you deserve!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode61

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