Pillow Talks

Latest Episodes:

Episode 90: Why Missionary Is (Secretly) Our Favorite Position Feb 09, 2023

Show notes

Is it OK if you and your partner keep finding yourselves coming back to the missionary position during sex? Does that make your relationship - gasp! - vanilla? Missionary often gets judged as being boring, predictable, or beginner, and a lot of us feel embarrassed to admit that we like it.

Well, take it from a sex therapist… vanilla is popular for a reason. Missionary can be wildly intimate, erotic, and even kinky when it’s done right. In this episode, we show you all the different ways to spice up Missionary. You don’t have to step outside of the box every night to have a smoking hot sex life; just a few tweaks can majorly turn up the heat!

Links & Resources:

Next Level Intercourse

Dirty Talk

Episode 53: How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

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Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode90

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Episode 89: How To Get The Intimacy You’ve Always Craved Feb 02, 2023

Show notes

Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in the right place! We’ve been together for 15 years and know from personal experience how a relationship can ebb and flow right into a rut. You’re too tired, too overwhelmed, too embarrassed by how stale things have gotten, and you find yourself in the land of stagnation.

Good thing we’ve come up with the cheat code!

Whether you’re looking for more emotional or physical intimacy, or BOTH, we have you covered. This episode is jam packed with tips for rekindling the connection, how to get your partner on board with creating more intimacy, and even some real-life feedback from couples who have used our advice to find their way back to each other.

Links & Resources:

Our Book: Sex Talks (available for preorder until Feb 7th)

Challenge: Intimate or Nasty (Preorders get $30 off this challenge)

Free Guide: How To Get Your Partner On Board For Intimate Or Nasty

Thanks ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode89

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Episode 88: How To Decide If You Should Have Kids Or Not. And Are We Still Child Free By Choice? Jan 26, 2023

Show notes

When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode in Pillow Talks’ history, hands down. Talking about it publicly was challenging, emotional, and the most intimate we’ve ever been with our audience… until now.

After listening to the episode, so many of you reached out to share that you’re struggling with whether or not to have kids. You’re having a hard time identifying your own desires under all the layers of pressure and expectation. In this episode, you’ll find a roadmap to guide you through this weighty, personal decision process, along with some great advice from those in our audience who have been on either side of the fence. Whichever way you go, we’re here to help make sure it’s the right choice for YOU.

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks

Episode 37 - The Truth About Why We’re Child Free

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off site wide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode88

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Episode 87: Sex Talks: Sharing All The Secrets Behind Writing Our First Book Jan 19, 2023

Show notes

If you’ve been following us for a bit, you probably know that we have a book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, coming out February 7th with Simon & Schuster. We’re so excited for you to get your hands on this book, and bring more connection, pleasure, and fun into the bedroom! But do you want to know the real story behind the book?

In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtains on what it really means to write a book, get it published, and then get it to your audience. There were moments that shocked us, some that terrified us, and some that completely changed the way we see our business. Join us as we break down the numbers, lay out the timeline, and explain just how much of a village it truly takes to publish a book. By the time you finish with this episode, there won’t be anything left to do but click the link to preorder!

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks

Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year!

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode87

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Episode 86: Ask Us Anything Part 4: This Time It’s Personal Jan 12, 2023

Show notes

It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the business questions and keep it personal.

We asked you to send in the questions you’ve been dying to know, and you delivered! Religion? Sex position burnout? The ways we still embarrass ourselves with each other? You bet! We cover it all and more, so make yourself comfortable and feel free to giggle along as we reveal all sorts of things for the sake of the podcast. We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never knew you needed to have!

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks

Dirty Talk

Initiation 101

Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode86

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Episode 85: Make 2023 The Year You Finally Feel Sexy Jan 05, 2023

Show notes

What makes a person sexy? We all want to be sexy, but most of us don’t feel that way very often (or at all). It can be hard to see yourself as sexy after long hours at work, taking care of kids, or watching your body change over the years. Even worse, we don’t know how to change that, because we don’t know what “sexy” even means! Google certainly isn’t helpful. What the heck are we supposed to do?

Listen to this episode, that’s what! We want you to feel sexy and confident on a regular basis. In this episode, we teach you how to identify and create your own definition of sexy, so you can make 2023 your sexiest year yet.

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks

The Foreplay Guides

Next Level Intercourse

Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship

Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body – Even If You Don’t

Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process

Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping.

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode85

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Episode 84: Top 10 Podcast Moments of 2022 Dec 29, 2022

Show notes

What a year 2022 has been!!! In 52 episodes, we’ve gotten more vulnerable than we’ve ever dared, tackled the topics we never thought would see the light of day, and busted more myths than we thought possible - and loved EVERY minute of it!

So we thought it’d be a blast to count down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks this year. Take a listen and see if your favorites made the cut! Revisit the times we laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe, the crazy things we still can’t believe came out of our mouths (much less put on the air), and the a-ha moments that changed everything.

We can’t thank you enough for the support and the community we’ve built, one orgasm at a time. From us to you, Happy New Year!

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks Book Preorder

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode84

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Episode 83: How To Fight Fair In A Relationship: Breaking Down A Listener Argument Dec 22, 2022

Show notes

Be honest - if you look back at your last fight with your partner, are you happy with how it went? Was there anything you wish that you had said differently? Or would take back Maybe you were feeling defensive, a little misunderstood, or just plain hurt! It would be nice if there was a referee to throw a flag or call time out when we cross the line in an argument.

We reached out to our Instagram audience and found a couple willing to share a fight that they recently experienced. In this episode, we go through their text fight line by line, calling out what worked, what didn’t, and different choices they could have made to communicate more effectively. You’ll get a sneak peek at the kinds of fights other couples really have, while learning how to manage relationship conflict in a healthier way. Learning how to fight fair can be a process, but with some practice, you can turn those moments of tension into opportunities for growth and connection.

Links & Resources:

Mental Load Workbook

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode83

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Episode 82: The 15 Lessons That Keep Us Saying “I Do” After 15 Years Dec 15, 2022

Show notes

On December 15th, 2007, a tired girl got dragged to a Christmas party and met a DJ with a heart of gold, and the rest is history.

Here we are 15 years later, married and running a sex and relationship business, reflecting back over what it took to get us here. In this special episode, we celebrate our anniversary by sharing on the lessons we’ve taught each other, the revelations we’ve stumbled upon, and what we’ve had to learn the hard way. Join us as we take a walk down memory lane, share some laughs, get sentimental, and get, as always, just a little bit naughty. Stay tuned all the way to the end for some bonus lessons from the only people who talk about our relationship as much as we do.

Links & Resources:

Sex Talks Book

Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow

Check out the show notes (and see the infamous freak dancing photo) at vmtherapy.com/episode82

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Episode 81: Ho Ho Help! How To Survive Holiday Stress Dec 08, 2022

Show notes

It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved ones and celebrate each other with presents, food, and quality time.

But what happens when we start to see cracks in the perfect holiday picture we had in our mind? You and your partner start to bicker over budgets. Or maybe your mom’s disappointed that you’re going to your in-law’s this year. Or you’re just feeling like an enormous grinch this year.

The truth is that the holidays are an incredibly stressful time, and many of us get swept up by inflexible family traditions, present-giving politics, and socialized gender roles. So we’re here to help you navigate the holidays with ease and grace. There’s a lot of laughter, tons of compassion (because BOY have we had our own holiday disasters!), and as always our very best advice, all so you can have the tough conversations without losing the holiday spirit.

Links & Resources:

Episode 4 : Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship

Episode 27 : Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide

Episode 30 : Sex With Other People…Around

Mental Load Workbook

A Sex Therapist Explains: What Is The “F**k First” Rule?

Go to GreenChef.com/pillow599 and use code pillow599 to get $5.99 per meal on your 1st box — and your 1st box ships free!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode81

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