On Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics Aug 19, 2025

Show notes

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be.

While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carry emotional significance.

In this episode, we’re exploring how different attachment styles can impact the way we relate to our friends, why friendship ruptures can feel just as painful (if not more so) than romantic ones, and how to navigate these dynamics with more clarity, compassion, and self-respect.

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#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup Aug 12, 2025

Show notes

If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again.

In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it.

I’ll walk you through:

Why grieving fully is essential (and how we often mistake rumination for grief)
The stories we tell ourselves post-breakup, and how they shape our suffering
How to find closure within yourself, instead of waiting for your ex to give it to you
What it means to really learn the lessons of a breakup
Why getting clear on what you want in future relationships is one of the most powerful things you can do before moving on

Whether your breakup was recent or something you still carry with you, my hope is that this episode supports you in finding your way back to yourself — with clarity, compassion, and courage.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#200: How to Like Yourself More Aug 05, 2025

Show notes

So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like?

In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-judgment, or just wanting to feel better in your own skin, this episode is for you.

We’ll explore:

How to identify where you’re out of alignment with your values
Why following through on your boundaries builds self-trust
The importance of noticing who or what brings out the worst in you
Why prioritising your wellbeing is essential
Why you should seek out opportunities to make yourself proud

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#199: How Our Early Imprints Shape Our Lives & Relationships with Lael Stone Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us.

We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us.

Whether you’re deep in your healing journey or just beginning to explore your inner world, this conversation is a reminder that we’re not defined by our past — and that we have the power to tell a new story.

Connect with Lael Stone

Instagram: @laelstone

Website: laelstone.com.au

Purchase Lael's new book, Own Your Story

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#198: What Anxiously Attached People Need to Thrive in a Relationship Jul 22, 2025

Show notes

When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs.

In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support security, growth, and genuine connection.

What we cover in this episode:

How consistency supports nervous system regulation and builds trust over time
The importance of emotional validation in helping you feel understood and connected
Why clear and reliable communication matters more than constant contact
The role of safe conflict in creating long-term security and repair
How having a shared vision helps settle the fear of uncertainty and misalignment

Whether you’re currently dating or in a relationship, this episode will help you get clearer on what’s supportive for you — and how to recognise when your needs are being met versus when you’re stuck in a cycle of over-functioning or hoping for crumbs.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship Jul 15, 2025

Show notes

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning.

Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance.

We’ll cover:

Why space needs to be respected, not punished
The importance of having a partner who can self-regulate rather than emotionally offload
How clear, direct, and honest communication builds safety
The value of each partner having a full, meaningful life outside the relationship
Why pacing matters — and how moving too fast can trigger shutdown
Balancing lightness and heaviness

Whether you’re avoidant yourself or in a relationship with someone who is, this episode will help you better understand the conditions that allow these relationships to thrive.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships Jul 08, 2025

Show notes

If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways.

In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else.

You’ll learn:

Why self-abandonment is often a survival strategy rooted in early attachment wounds
What self-abandonment looks like in dating and relationships
The trade-off between authenticity and connection
Why the work must begin with us

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System Jul 01, 2025

Show notes

In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck.

We’ll explore:

Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the time
The importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilience
The equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulation
How to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recovery
A simple metaphor to help you reflect on how you’re currently supporting your system

Whether you’re feeling burnt out, dysregulated, or just curious about how to better support your emotional wellbeing, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate reframe of what nervous system care can look like.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your Relationship Jun 24, 2025

Show notes

If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you.

This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. Of giving so much, while wondering if you even matter to the person you love. And when that becomes a pattern, it can quietly erode your sense of self-worth.

In this episode, I’m unpacking:

Why anxiously attached people are so sensitive to feeling deprioritised
How this dynamic often plays out in anxious-avoidant relationships
The emotional cost of constantly striving to be chosen
What you can focus on to reclaim your power and stop abandoning yourself in the process

Whether you’re currently in a relationship or reflecting on a past one, this conversation will help you make sense of what’s happening and offer practical ways to move forward with more clarity, dignity, and self-trust.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#193: The Gifts of Anxious Attachment Jun 17, 2025

Show notes

While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with anxious attachment can become powerful strengths in our relationships and our lives.

I’ll be exploring:

Why it’s important to move beyond pathologising anxious attachment
The qualities that often develop through lived experience with this pattern
How your sensitivity, attunement, and relational depth can become assets
The difference between operating from fear vs. secure self-expression
How to start embracing your relational gifts without losing yourself

Whether you're in the thick of healing or just starting to understand your patterns, I hope this episode leaves you feeling acknowledged for all that is beautiful about you!

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

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