On Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#192: Boundaries vs. Ultimatums Jun 10, 2025

Show notes

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the subtle (but important) differences between requests, boundaries, ultimatums, and dealbreakers. While these words are often used interchangeably, they carry different energies — and understanding those differences can help you communicate more clearly, hold your ground with integrity, and honour your needs without falling into patterns of control, people-pleasing, or collapse.

We’ll explore:

Why the energy behind your words matters more than the words themselves
What makes an ultimatum different from a boundary or dealbreaker
The common trap of over-explaining instead of taking aligned action
Why communication problems can't be solved in isolation

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#191: Pleasure, Rest, & Feeling Good in a Culture of Chronic Stress Jun 03, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us struggle to access pleasure, rest, and a felt sense of wellbeing — especially in a culture that glorifies productivity, self-sacrifice, and chronic stress.

If you've ever felt like slowing down or doing something just because it feels good triggers guilt, anxiety, or even restlessness… you're not alone.

We'll look at:

How chronic stress and hypervigilance disrupt our ability to feel good
Why pleasure and rest often feel unsafe or unearned
The role of the nervous system in receiving nourishment and joy
How burnout and self-worth issues intersect
Small, everyday ways to start rebuilding your capacity for pleasure and ease

This episode is a gentle invitation to notice the forces that have pulled you away from yourself — and to begin reclaiming the parts of you that long to feel good.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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#190: How to Stop the Anxious Spiral May 28, 2025

Show notes

If you find yourself spiralling into anxiety — overanalysing a text, catastrophising worst-case scenarios, or feeling like your nervous system is in overdrive — this episode is for you.

Today we’re talking about how to stop the anxious spiral before it takes over. I’ll walk you through what actually happens in your body and mind during a spiral, why it makes so much sense if you struggle with anxious attachment, and what you can do to interrupt that cycle in the moment. I’ll also share some longer-term strategies for building resilience and emotional regulation so these spirals become less frequent and less intense over time.

We’ll cover:

What triggers the anxious spiral and how it gains momentum
Simple tools to calm your system and regain perspective
Why nervous system regulation is essential to breaking the pattern
How self-worth plays a role in stopping spirals before they start

Whether you’re in the thick of anxiety right now or want to feel more in control next time it hits, I hope this episode leaves you feeling more grounded, compassionate, and empowered.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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#189: Why Anxiously Attached People Struggle with Jealousy May 25, 2025

Show notes

Jealousy is one of the most common—and most shamed—experiences for people with anxious attachment. In this episode, we’re exploring where jealousy really comes from, how it manifests in relationships, and why it makes so much sense through the lens of self-worth and attachment wounding.

I share personal reflections from my own journey with jealousy, alongside insights to help you understand your patterns with more compassion and clarity. Whether you obsessively compare yourself to others, feel threatened by your partner’s past, or find yourself spinning out when you don’t feel like a priority, this episode will help you start untangling the deeper fears driving those reactions.

We’ll cover:

Why jealousy is often a symptom of deeper insecurity and low self-worth
The difference between jealousy and envy — and why both show up for anxiously attached people
Common behaviours (like social media stalking or reassurance-seeking) and why they don’t actually soothe your fears
What to do when jealousy arises — and why shame only makes it worse
Why building self-worth is the most powerful antidote to chronic jealousy

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
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#188: When Your Relationship Feels Stuck (& What to Do About It) May 17, 2025

Show notes

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Like things are off, disconnected, or just… heavy? You're not alone. Relationship ruts are common — and they're often more about what's bleeding into the relationship (stress, burnout, life overload) than about the relationship itself.

For those in anxious-avoidant dynamics, these ruts can feel especially charged. The anxious partner often wants to fix it, while the avoidant may feel overwhelmed or pressured — leading to even more distance.

In this episode, I share 3 powerful shifts to help you move out of a rut and back into connection:

Shift your focus to what is working — Appreciation and warmth go further than criticism.
Reconnect through something light — Play, fun, and novelty can do what words sometimes can’t.
Tend to your own world — Reclaim your centre so the relationship doesn’t carry the full weight of your wellbeing.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
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#187: Is It Better to Heal While Single or in a Relationship? May 10, 2025

Show notes

Whether you’re single or partnered, you might find yourself wondering: Am I in the right place to do this work? There’s often an unspoken belief that there’s a “best” time to heal — and that if we’re not doing it in the ideal conditions, we’re doing it wrong.

In this episode, I’ll explore:

The advantages and limitations of healing while single
Why being in a relationship can accelerate your growth (but only under the right conditions)
How emotional safety plays a key role in healing
Why the question itself might be coming from a place of fear, shame, or comparison
How to work with whatever season you're in and meet yourself there

Whether you're currently dating, in a relationship, or consciously taking space from romantic connection — this conversation will help you better understand the unique opportunities (and challenges) each path offers.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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#186: When Life Hasn't Gone to Plan Apr 30, 2025

Show notes

We all have visions for how we thought life would unfold — timelines we hoped to follow, milestones we expected to reach. So what happens when life doesn't go to plan?

In today’s episode, I’m speaking to those moments of disappointment, grief, and disorientation that come when our reality looks nothing like we’d imagined. Whether it’s relationships, career, family, or a more intangible sense of where you “should” be by now — it’s easy to spiral into self-blame, shame, or despair when life veers off course.

We’ll explore:

Why unmet timelines can stir such deep emotion and shame
The hidden comparison traps that make us feel like we’re falling behind
How to hold space for grief without collapsing into hopelessness
The difference between giving up and gently letting go
What it looks like to reimagine your path from a place of self-trust and compassion

If you’re navigating a chapter that looks wildly different from what you’d hoped or planned — I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
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#185: How Caretaking Impacts Our Relationships Apr 26, 2025

Show notes

Many of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships.

Caretaking often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or an old belief that love must be earned through over-functioning — anticipating needs, smoothing over discomfort, managing someone else's feelings or life for them. While it can look like love on the surface, it often leaves both partners stuck: one overextending, the other under-functioning, and both feeling disconnected.

In this episode, we explore:

The key differences between caring and caretaking
How caretaking can create resentment, imbalance, and emotional dependency
Why caretaking is often a hidden form of control
Signs you might be caught in a caretaking dynamic
How to shift towards healthier, more empowering ways of loving and relating

Building secure, connected relationships isn't about fixing or rescuing each other — it's about standing alongside each other, with enough trust to let each person take responsibility for themselves.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#184: Understanding the Power Struggle Stage of Relationships Apr 16, 2025

Show notes

Most relationships move through a phase where things start to feel harder than they used to. The spark has dimmed, tension is bubbling beneath the surface, and it feels like you’re constantly clashing or misfiring. This is what’s often called the power struggle stage — and while it can be incredibly challenging, it’s also a powerful opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about:

What the power struggle stage is and why it happens
How insecure attachment patterns can intensify this dynamic
The common traps couples fall into during this phase
What to do (and not do) if you want to move through it
When the power struggle becomes a sign of misalignment rather than a phase

If you’ve found yourself wondering whether you’re growing apart or just navigating something difficult and necessary — this episode is for you.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#183: How to Be a Better Partner Apr 08, 2025

Show notes

When we think about improving our relationships, we’re often focused on what isn’t working — what our partner could do differently, how we’re not getting our needs met, where communication is breaking down.

But in this episode, I want to invite a slightly different lens: what does it mean to be a better partner? Not from a place of self-sacrifice or perfectionism, but from a grounded, secure place. One that’s rooted in love, compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to show up with care.

In this episode, we explore:

Why our capacity to sit with discomfort can shape the tone of our relationships
What it really means to listen with curiosity, rather than defensiveness
How our own insecurities can make us self-focused without realising it
The importance of meaningful repair after conflict
The difference between blame and honest self-reflection
Why it matters to love your partner the way they receive love—not just how you like to give it

These aren’t tips to make yourself more palatable or easygoing. They’re invitations to grow, to connect more deeply, and to take ownership of your part in creating a secure and nourishing relational space.

Free Masterclass: Anxious-Avoidant Relationships

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

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