On Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#122: Why You Should Prioritise Self-Care in a Relationship Dec 05, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about the importance of self-care in a relationship, and how prioritising self-care can (somewhat counterintuitively) be far more nourishing and constructive for the relationship than being overly focused on the relationship itself.
We'll cover:

why anxiously attached people tend to obsess over the relationship
how neglecting ourselves when the relationship is under strain makes things worse
why we should all be prioritising our self-care if we want a thriving relationship with ourselves and our partners

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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#121: What is Emotional Availability? Nov 30, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional availability. Emotional availability is one of those terms that is thrown around a lot on social media - and it seems like everybody is on the lookout for the "emotionally unavailable" people that are to be avoided at all costs. But as always, I think it's important to approach these conversations with nuance and curiosity, before slapping labels on others and declaring them to be the problem. As we discuss in this episode, our focus on others' emotional unavailability can often mask the parts of us that are hiding behind inauthenticity.
We cover:

what does emotional availability (and unavailability) actually mean
why we might be attracted to unavailability in others
how emotional unavailability can manifest differently for anxious vs avoidant people
how our own unavailability might be impacting our dating patterns

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
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#120: 10 Tips for Healing an Anxious Attachment Style Nov 21, 2023

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✨ DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF GUIDE HERE ✨

In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 tips to start healing your anxious attachment style. While "healing" is not something that really lends itself to a formula or a 10-step plan, having guided thousands of students through the process of healing their anxious attachment I can certainly attest to the key growth areas for most folks with anxious attachment patterns.
We'll cover things like getting your mindset right, learning about your nervous system, building self-worth, voicing needs and boundaries, how to have healthier conflict, and diversifying your life so you're not solely focused on your relationship.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#119: Am I People-Pleasing or Just Being Nice? Nov 14, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about people-pleasing: what it is, why we do it, and how it's different to "just being a nice person". For many of us, people pleasing is second nature. We are so accustomed to accommodating others and burying our own feelings and needs that we don't even realise we're doing it.
Unfortunately, this typically leads us to feel disconnected, lonely and exhausted - not to mention it usually backfires insofar as building healthy relationships is concerned.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#118: Why Anxious & Avoidant People Are Drawn to Each Other Nov 08, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the common question of why those with anxious attachment patterns are typically attracted to those with avoidant attachment patterns (and vice versa). As we know, this is a very common relationship pairing - which can be confusing when you feel like the challenges of that dynamic are at odds with your preferences and desires.
As we'll cover, oftentimes this is driven by subconscious patterns that propel us to recreate the familiar in a way that reinforces our core beliefs about ourselves and others.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#117: How to Know When a Relationship is Worth Fighting For Oct 31, 2023

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In today's episode, I'm answering a listener's question of "How do I know if my relationship is worth fighting for?" This is a big question, and unfortunately it's one of those messy ones that no one can tell you the answer to. What's worth fighting for according to one person, might be simply too hard and too much for another.
We'll cover:

fear of regret no matter what we choose
focusing on what you can control
how to do things differently rather than staying stuck in the same loops

🎉 CLICK HERE TO ACCESS PRE-SALE PRICING (40% OFF) FOR MY NEW RELATIONSHIP COURSE, SECURE TOGETHER 🎉

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#116: 5 Things to Normalise in Long-Term Relationships Oct 24, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about things that we need to normalise in long-term relationships. So much of the time, our expectations about our relationships - that they should be harmonious 100% of the time, that we should love everything about our partner, that we should never doubt or question our choices - leave us feeling confused and anxious.
When really, the problem is not with our relationship - it's with the pressure we've placed on our relationship to meet an unrealistic standard of perfection.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#115: 5 Things Secure Couples Do Well Oct 17, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking about 5 things that secure couples do really well to build safety, intimacy and connection in their relationships. We'll cover:

raising important issues and knowing when to let things go
prioritising connection, play and intimacy
validating each other's experience rather than needing to be right
balancing togetherness and separateness
engaging in meaningful repair when things go awry

⭐️ Get my FREE masterclass, Where Anxious Avoidant Couples Go Wrong ⭐️

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#114: Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Q&A (feat. my partner Joel) Oct 10, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're answering your questions about how we've navigated aspects of the anxious-avoidant dynamic in our relationship.
We talk about:

doing "the work" individually and as a couple
how we've built trust and safety over time
how we manage conflict and have hard conversations

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#113: How Stress Impacts Our Relationships Oct 03, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about stress and the profound impact it can have on our relationships. We live in a world where stress is chronic and constant - and not only does that spell trouble for our health and wellbeing, but it can leave us feeling lonely, resentful and disconnected in our partnerships.
We'll cover:

how stress can exacerbate existing attachment dynamics
why we aren't designed for chronic stress and what it does to us
how our nervous system's stress response affects our perception and our stories
tips for managing stress more adaptively as an individual and within your relationship

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

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