Show notes
January 13, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 53 / Guest: Jen Mann, Author, Midlife Bites Use the links below to download and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Show Summary Jen Mann is on her way to the Mom &… Podcast guest Hall of Fame. She’s back for her second visit, this time to talk about her new book, Midlife Bites: Is Anyone Else Falling Apart or is it Just Me?. We talk about what it’s like to have it all together – on paper, at least – but feel like you’re losing your mind… and physically falling apart… all while wondering what happened to your relationships. Midlife is hard, but it’s also pretty funny at times. Above all, this phase of life is filled with potential. Jen Mann writes about it, and talks about it, with her trademark wit. More About Jen Mann Jen Mannis best known for her wildly popular blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is the author of Midlife Bites: Is Anyone Else Falling Apart or is it Just Me?, as well as the New York Times bestseller People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is also the editor of the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. She lives in Kansas with her husband and two children. Topics From This Episode (Complete transcript is available below… scroll to the bottom!) Zibby OwensPurposeMental healthHumor during tough timesStages of adulthoodStages of parentingFriendshipMenopause Connect with Jen Buy the new book, Midlife BitesHer website – links to buy all of her booksFacebookMore Facebook InstagramTwitter Pinterest LinkedIn Look, Listen, Learn Missy The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ KluneKathleen Madigan, Bothering JesusGo see the dermatologist! Jen Single’s Inferno on NetflixSmut-Tok (the romance, erotica side of TikTok)Ruby Dixon’s Ice Planet Barbarians Susanne The Midnight Library by Matt HaigThe Amazing Race Connect With the Mom &… Podcast Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!Follow our Facebook PageJoin our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)Follow us on InstagramBecome a patron – check us out on Patreon! Musical Notes Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock. Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Transcript* From This Episode *Please note that this transcript is automatically generated through our editing software. Expect odd errors and misunderstood words. In fact, if you find a really funny one, send it to us, and we may feature it – and you – on our socials! [00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast. I’m Susanne Kerns, a mom and dot.dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And today a podcast studio arranger up until about five minutes ago, and it is a work in progress and will probably be rearranged before our next interview with Jill Smokler in an hour. Missy: I’m Missy Stevens mom and dot.dot writer, foster care advocate and this week. I’m a plant doctor trying to help everything recover from the freeze. It all looks real, real Susanne: Ah, Missy: but we are going to talk about that today. We’re going to talk about Jen Mann and Midlife Bites. I’m holding it up right now. We are so excited to welcome back, Jen Mann, anyone who’s watching, we’re all holding up our copies. Um, she was our very first guest, like real guest on a real episode, we had like three intro episodes and then episode four was Jen. Susanne: It was exactly a year ago to, Jen: That’s crazy. Missy: Yes. So she [00:01:00] is back. She’s going to be, um, we’re working on like the Saturday night live, you know, they do the five timers club and they get the jacket and they make a big deal out of it. So you’re on your way to the five timers club? Jen: that’s so cool. Missy: . Okay. So I’ll get into. A little refresher for people who are listening and may not know Jen, which I don’t know how that is, but Jen Mann is known for her wildly popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is the author of the New York times bestseller People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is also the editor of the New York times bestsellingI Just Want to Pee Alone series. And she lives in Kansas with her husband and do children. And now she’s the author of Midlife Bites: Is Anyone Else Falling Apart or is it Just Me? And we’re going to talk about the book a lot today. That’s why you’re here. but I just want to say before we get started, that it’s so funny, but also I cried and I cried these tears of like knowing and being known so well done and welcome back. Jen: Thank you. Susanne: Uh, Jen: Yeah, my goal is make you laugh or make you cry or both at the same [00:02:00] time. We’ll see. Susanne: Yeah. Does it, it goes there and we’re going to talk about that, but first of all, okay, so the book was just released last week, January 4th. Correct. And. Even before the release, I’ve seen these pictures of you all over social media. And I was like, wait a minute. I recognize that women, first of all, was you. And then Kristin Van Ogtrop, who is another one of our previous guests. Jen: see her book there behind Susanne: we’ve got our series of books over here right here. But you and Kristin were at Zibby Owens for some amazing shindig for the authors of books, that she had selected for Katie Couric Missy: I mean, Susanne: Eddie, correct. Media’s list. Right. As far as the books that you need to read in 2022. Jen: it was kind of two different things. Yeah. So I met Zuby a few months ago when I was trying to find people the blurb, , for midlife bites and I’d found Zibby, I think like all of us do, we all listen to her podcasts, probably, um, moms don’t have time to read and I thought, [00:03:00] oh, wouldn’t it be great if I could like, get her to blurb my book. But you know, she does a really big deal people. And so. Susanne: You’re a big deal person. Jen: like a minor deal. Like I will, I will admit, like, I am like, I’m like a minor deal. Like there are some doors that will open, but you never know. , so I sent off, you know, an email and a book and a wing and a prayer. And then she came back and said she was a little bit late. And so she was like, oh shoot. You know, I think I missed the deadline. , but who loved this book? Could I blurb it still? And I was like, absolutely. And she gave me this amazing blurb and wrote me this beautiful email about it and just was really, she’s such a champion of books in general, but she just really connected with midlife bytes. , and then I was already going to New York. , in early December, I was going to go see, , faith Salie I blurbed her book, which is called approval junkie. And she had turned it into a one woman show off Broadway. And so I was already going to New York to see Faith’s show. [00:04:00] And I sent Xavi an email and said, Hey, could I take you out for a cup of coffee? I’d love to meet you in person. And then that’s when she came back and said, I’ll do you one better. I will have a luncheon in your honor, for you and Kristin. So, we did, she had, and then the Couric came out like before, like maybe a week or two before that. And she had already been working on that. but that was really cool too, that she included me on that list that she included midlife bites on that list, but the luncheon was kind of different and it was more just like a midlife midlife lady luncheon and, Susanne: even better. Jen: at her gorgeous home and she invited several of her friends and neighbors and that kind of thing. And we just had a really fun time. And it was the first time I’d really gotten to talk about midlife bites. So it was kind of interesting cause I kind of had to figure out what my narrative was and what I’m going to say about it. And but I didn’t have books yet the book wasn’t out yet. Susanne: Oh, shoot. Jen: yeah. So now, like if you’re listening to me, I want to come back and we’ll do another one. Susanne: I live well, you know what? I already did reach out to her too, because I was listening to her on the hashtag am writing [00:05:00] podcast and she has a really fascinating story. So as much as I love, like all her podcasts and we’d love to talk about that. I just think she has a real, you know, for kids, a really interesting story, as far as she’s in a position where, because of her father and the way that, you know, financially, She’s kind of pretty set. She’s got the nice apartment. Instead of just resting on that and being like, oh, I’ll just go hang out and travel, whatever. Like she works as if like, as if she’s paycheck to paycheck, like she really works for it. And I just, I love that about it. And I just, I’m really curious what in her is that, you know, that drive Jen: Well, I think it’s funny because so many people saw the photos that we put up and they were all just like, what was it like, you know, what was, what was she like? And I’m like, she’s super cause you’re right. She comes from a very unique background in that, like her father is a billionaire. And so she kind of has a lot of things already going for her, I [00:06:00] guess, in that regards. But then she is such a tireless worker and she’s so down to earth too. Like I, you know, I didn’t know what to expect. I went, you know, I’m up on the upper east side of Manhattan and I showed up at her apartment and yeah. the, the floor mat outside the door, I took a picture of it and I put it on the social media. Cause it said, you know, there’s a whole bunch of kids up in here or something like that where you’re just, you know, and I was like, okay, she’s my people. Like, I doesn’t matter. What’s behind this door. Like, I don’t care what she lives like, but it, um, but she’s so generous with her time and her space. I mean, she invited all these people into her home and welcomed them and fed them. And then, but what cracked me up was that, you know, she, we were there for a certain time and I really wasn’t sure, I, you know, I was sort of like, I’m here as long as you want me to be here, you know, kind of thing. Like I’m I got nowhere to be. And then she came back and people, you know, the event was over, but people are still visiting. Cause again, it’s like this gorgeous space. Why wouldn’t you stay and hang out and be comfortable? She came back and she was like, oh, you guys are welcome to stay, but I’m going to head upstairs. I have to record a podcast. [00:07:00] Like, and then she’d already mentioned that she had something going on that night, Susanne: Oh my gosh. Jen: And I was like, if I was having a lunch in, at my house for like 30 people, like that’s all I would do that day. Like I would be like, Ooh, and I’m spent, so I just admire her work ethic. And like, you know, and now she started her own publishing company and, I’m on the advisory board for that, which was a huge honor to be invited to do that. Susanne: Oh, how amazing. Jen: a really cool person. Susanne: Yeah, I got that feeling and I just think that she has a really interesting story. And just, Yeah. Anyway, we’re talking here to talk about you though Zibby. So for people. Jen: It always Missy: when she’s on the show. Jen: Everybody always wants to know about her. Susanne: I know, she seems really interesting. So but for people who have not read the book. Oh, so good. So good. But anyway, we don’t want to give it all away, but just for some of you who want to know a little bit more about it, I’m going to read part of the back copy. So it’s for women who may feel isolated [00:08:00] or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story, as well as advice and wisdom from the online community. She built tackling everything that bites about midlife, where Nothing. is off limits. It is a rarely vulnerable book. Yes, this is, this is different for you. You go there and yeah, you say in the intro to the book that it’s a departure for you. And it, I mean, I was really like, whoa, she wasn’t kidding. It really is. so What did it feel like to make that change and just share in this way that you don’t necessarily always do. And then also if you have a three easy steps or being more vulnerable, uh, Missy and I would really like this Jen: Yeah, Missy: fix us now. Jen: I think that’s the thing, you know, coming out of, , people, I want to punch them throat, writing that for years where, you know, I’ll tell you all, you want to know about like my vagina, but then like, but if we’re going to talk [00:09:00] about like, you know, how I’m really feeling, you know, like, you know, and that was really kind of hard for me. Like I’m really good at making jokes about stuff. And I’m really good at sort of like diverting the conversation or keeping it, you know, you think, you know me, but maybe there’s a lot of stuff that I don’t tell you, but you know me, but you don’t know me. So that was interesting. So when I wrote the book, the book came from a blog post, so. I was feeling overwhelmed and I was feeling all this stuff and I realized I hadn’t been talking about it to anybody and that to my husband, that’s my friends, nobody. And I sorta kind of whispered it a little bit to some close friends. And I was like, Hey, are you guys like anybody else kind of going crazy? You know? And this was all mind you. This was all pre pandemic too. So it’s like, I mean, now we’re all crazy like that Missy: before we all truly Jen: now we’ve all gotten there. But before this, this is when everybody was still kind of pretending like the world wasn’t on fire yet. And, you know, and I wrote about it on the, on my blog, [00:10:00] on people. I went to punch in throat and when I hit published that night, I just thought I’m either going to start a really important conversation, which hopefully I’m ready for it. Or I’ve just blown up my humor career. Like, we’ll see. Susanne: Yeah. Jen: And luckily my editor at random house, Pamela Cannon, she read it, she follows my blog and she read it and she sent me a note. She sent me an email within an hour or two and was like, this is what your next book should be about. Like, this is what we’ve been waiting. And we’d been kind of trying to figure out, you know, I, I, I only have so much people, I want a punch in throat inside of me, you know, like I only have so many stories I can tell. And so we’d been kind of brainstorming where to go next. And so this just seemed like the natural transition, but because it wasn’t like my idea of like, normally I conceive of my own books. Like I already know what I’m going to write. I already know what it’s gonna look like. And so for this one, you know, it just was this blog post. And I’m like, what kind of book? What, what, what am I going to write? And so, and so she worked [00:11:00] a lot with me on that. and she was, and this is our third book together. We’ve done two other people. I want to punch in the throat books together. And I think that helped a lot too, because, you know, I would send them. And I send off the draft and I’d be like, okay, it’s good. It’s really good. It’s done. You know, and then she’d come back and she’d be like, be more vulnerable. you know, you can do it, I know you can do it. And so she kind of, you know, she, she pushes, um, and she knows where to push me and she knows kind of what I like, what I’m capable of. Um, and maybe what would be too much, you know, she’d be like, or maybe don’t if that’s, you know, too much for you, but I really credit her for kind of keeping me. Keeping me honest and keeping me sort of open because I would have a tendency to like close off and she’s just like,…
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