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Show Summary:
Navigating LGBTQ+ Parenting and Advocacy with Heather Hester
In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens talk about parenting with a focus on LGBTQ+ advocacy. They welcome Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama, and author of PARENTING WITH PRIDE, to discuss her journey, her book, and her podcast, Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ+ Teen. The conversation explores essential parenting techniques, such as listening actively and validating children’s feelings, as well as practical advice for creating a supportive environment for LGBTQ+ teens. The episode also provides vital tips on what to say and not say when someone comes out to you, and the importance of unbiased allyship.
Topics From This Episode with Heather Hester:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:03 Meet Heather Hester: Advocate and Author
02:30 The Shingles Vaccine Tangent << most accurate AI generated description ever.
04:35 Heather’s Journey: Supporting an LGBTQ+ Child
07:28 Creating a Safe Space for LGBTQ+ Kids
13:08 The Four Pillars of Parenting with Pride
31:13 Empowering LGBTQ+ Youth
36:34 Challenges in LGBTQ Advocacy
38:07 How Allies Can Support
40:33 Connecting with Heather
41:07 Look, Listen, Learn Segment
58:48 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell
Look, Listen, Learn
Susanne:
Susanne’s middle-of-the-night intruder (shout out to Ring video doorbells and cameras)
Don’t go outside when you hear search helicopters – listen to find out why!
If you’re looking for Heather’s podcast episode about how to be a good ally, click here – it’s episode 125.
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Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
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Show Summary:
In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens introduce guest Brendan Hansen, a six-time Olympic medalist and renowned swimmer. They discuss Hansen’s illustrious swimming career and accomplishments, including his role as team captain of multiple U.S. Olympic teams. Hansen shares his journey from childhood swimming in Pennsylvania to becoming a leading figure in the sport. The hosts and Hansen delve into parenting insights, emphasizing the importance of water safety, fostering resilience in children, and the significance of maintaining a growth mindset. Hansen also discusses his current role as the Director of Team Services at USA Swimming, and his experiences raising three daughters while advocating for their empowerment and participation in youth sports. The episode wraps up with the hosts and Hansen exchanging personal recommendations in their ‘Look, Listen, Learn’ segment.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:04 Meet Brendan Hansen: Olympic Swimmer
02:44 Brendan’s Early Swimming Journey
05:47 The Importance of Being Coachable
13:18 Growth Mindset and Perseverance
22:47 Challenges in Youth Sports
30:26 Raising Strong-Willed Daughters
32:05 The Rise of Women’s Sports
32:39 Instilling Confidence and Resilience
34:30 Behind the Scenes: Olympic Stories
34:45 The Power of Belief: Katie Ledecky’s Journey
38:28 Engaging Corporate Speeches and Leadership
39:23 Look, Listen, Learn: Personal Insights
45:46 Fun and Educational Family Activities
50:27 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell
Connect With the Mom &… Podcast
Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
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Voting Rights: Why You Need to Know Crystal Mason’s Story
Apr 26, 2024
April 26, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 95 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason
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Show Summary
This episode originally ran on March 25, 2022. Last month, Crystal was finally acquitted. In the words of her attorney:
“Crystal and her family have suffered for over six years as the target of a vanity project by Texas political leaders. We’re happy that the court saw this for the perversion of justice that it is, but the harm that this political prosecution has done to shake Americans’ confidence in their own franchise is incalculable.”
Defense Attorney, Alison Grinter Allen
It’s election year y’all. Know your rights, and remember what a privilege it is to vote.
Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason joined us this week to talk about advocacy and education around voter’s rights and voter suppression. On the Mom &… Podcast we frequently talk about how much influence moms have, and this week’s guests are two incredible examples of this influence.
We talked about convoluted laws and complicated processes that make it difficult – and often impossible – for all people to vote. Crystal shared her story of being arrested and jailed for casting a provisional ballot. Shellie encouraged us to get involved at a local level, to learn the laws and rules, and listen to women of color. She implored us to educate ourselves and then speak out. We talked about ways to get involved – starting with voting – and eliminate voter suppression and voter intimidation.
This episode left us reeling, and more than a little angry. And yet, we are encouraged by advocates and champions like Shellie and Crystal. Change is not going to come easily, but if enough of us speak up (and… vote!), change can happen.
Shellie is a fierce advocate for women from all walks of life stepping into roles of power. Currently Executive Director – Finance and Operations at Planned Parenthood Texas Votes. Shellie was Director of Operations for Annie’s List, is Co- President for Political Action of Black Austin Democrats, Senior Advisor and Treasurer for the Williamson County Democratic Party and a Williamson County Precinct Chair. Shellie sits on the board of Big Brothers Big Sisters Central Texas and the Barbara Jordan Leadership Institute. She is a 2020 Leadership Austin Graduate, 2020-21 NLC Mentor, and an Ordained Minister. Shellie is a frequent political contributor for Pink Granite and The Rabble. Before joining Planned Parenthood Texas Votes Shellie spent 30 years in Management, as well as running for office in 2018. Her belief is that the most vulnerable in our society must be protected and the best way to do that is by electing more pro-choice, progressive women to office.
More About Crystal
Crystal Mason is the founder of “Crystal Mason The Fight” foundation. The foundation is dedicated to fighting against voter suppression. She has a personal story of trials, tribulation and triumph, and through that story, she has become the face of Voter’s Suppression. In
2016, Crystal did what any noble American would do: she cast her vote at the ballot box hoping to be the change that she wants to see. Instead, she was given a five-year prison sentence after casting a provisional ballot that was ultimately rejected. Crystal is adored by her family, friends and colleagues. She is a mother, grandmother, and successful business owner. If asked who she is, Crystal will tell you, “I am a rehabilitated felon that believes
Crystal’s foundation is dedicated to helping felons who are transitioning back into the world. Specifically, Crystal’s goal is to offer education and guidance as it relates to voting rights. Crystal wants to ensure that all people know when they can vote, why they need to vote, and the importance of voting. Crystal helps teach people the importance of understanding who they are voting for, and having a good grasp on policy interpretation. Crystal’s motto in this fight is: “You are not defined by the word felon. You have a voice and with Crystal Mason the Fight your voice will be heard.”
Connect With the Mom &… Podcast
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Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
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Show Summary:
In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Missy Stevens and Susanne Kerns dive into a comprehensive discussion about wellness practices, with a special focus on acupuncture and Eastern medicine. Their guest, Charleen Whipple, a native of Colorado with an extensive background in sports medicine, nutrition, and Chinese medicine, shares her journey from being a competitive dancer to founding The Point Wellness in Round Rock, Texas. Charleen educates on the benefits of acupuncture, debunking myths around the practice and explaining how it can aid in treating various health concerns including anxiety, inflammation, and pain. The discussion also covers managing a brick-and-mortar health business, the synergy between different wellness practices, and the accessibility of alternative medicine through health insurance. Furthermore, the hosts and Charleen explore topics like the impact of ‘tech neck’ on children, managing staff in a wellness setting, and the personal touches that make wellness treatments more approachable, such as the use of panic buttons during acupuncture sessions. The episode also touches on personal and professional development through courses, the importance of supportive communities in business, and the broad application of wellness practices for both physical and mental health improvements.
Topics From This Episode:
00:15 Spring Break Adventures and Changes
01:07 Introducing Charlene Whipple: A Journey into Acupuncture
03:06 Demystifying Acupuncture: Does It Hurt?
06:26 Acupuncture for Everyone: Beyond Pain Relief
18:34 The Business of Wellness: Starting and Running a Clinic
21:26 Navigating the Challenges of Small Business Ownership
26:34 Managing a Team: Lessons Learned the Hard Way
28:35 Spring Promotions and Cryotherapy Treatments
29:24 Personal Experiences with Cryotherapy
30:28 Finding a Trusted Practitioner
31:30 Acupuncture and Wellness Journeys
33:34 Look, Listen, Learn Segment: What We’re Into This Week
Huberman Podcast (Host notes: since recording this episode, Andrew Huberman has been the subject of an article in New York Magazine, claiming he has some credibility issues.)
Born and raised in Denver, Colorado, Charleen emerged from a tight-knit Italian family, where communal bonds were as strong as the Rocky Mountain air. Beginning her journey in competitive dance at 5, she continued this passion through college, pursuing dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Sports Medicine and Nutrition at Colorado State University, while also dancing with the Colorado Eagles along the way. Following graduation, Charleen followed her calling into holistic healing, earning a degree in Chinese medicine from Colorado Chinese Medicine University in 2012. Launching her entrepreneurial path in Denver, she later resettled in Austin, Texas, where she honed her practice within a chiropractic clinic, amidst milestones like marriage and motherhood. In 2021, Charleen’s dream clinic became a reality, marking the culmination of years of dedication, and today, she remains poised for the future with gratitude and anticipation.
Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
[00:00:00] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. You know, all those dot, dot, dots that come after I’m a mom. And I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot writer, foster child advocate, and this week’s spring break prepper.
It’s our last spring break with two kiddos living at home. Crazy,
[00:00:29] Susanne: And it’s our first spring break with just the one kiddo. And
[00:00:36] Missy: And now we’re sad.
[00:00:38] Susanne: I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week I’ve been so busy with work that I forgot that it is spring break next week. And we are doing. Just the one kiddo dragging him along because we spent all of our spring break budget on sending Zoe to L.
A. with her roommate For an awesome week, so the rest of us are going to Marfa. We’re going to Marfa and Big
[00:01:06] Missy: One of my favorite trips ever was Big Bend. Yeah, I will have to talk when we aren’t on the clock and I loved it so much.
[00:01:13] Susanne: Okay, I’m gonna get notes
[00:01:15] Missy: Yeah, I’m so, so excited this week to talk to our guest and full disclosure, I talk to Charlene all the time because her therapist and Charlene have been instrumental in getting me back into fighting shape.
so I get to see her at least once a week, but now we all get to talk to her today. And I’m so thrilled for her to share her knowledge with all of us. Charlene Whipple is a native of Colorado and she attended Colorado State University and studied sports medicine and nutrition. And then she later went on to go to the Colorado Chinese Medicine University, where she graduated in 2012.
And now for the last three years, we’ve gotten to have her here in Round Rock, where she owns the Point Wellness. And we will talk all about that as we go on today. Welcome.
[00:01:58] Susanne: Welcome you. Excited to be here. Oh, well, so excited. And I, I, this is my first time meeting you. I don’t get to see you every week. So I definitely need, and our audience needs, a Charlene 101. So can you tell us a little bit about your career path and how you got to where you are today?
[00:02:16] Charleen: Yes. So I actually always have been in the sports world. I was a competitive dancer growing up, grew up in a family of all boys, with cousins and all of that. So sports has always been my passion. And so when I graduated from Colorado State with sports medicine, I ventured into, do I want to go into PT, OT, chiropractic, and nothing really held my interest until I talked with my current acupuncturist that I was seeing at the time and just fell in love with Chinese medicine and the fact that I can treat the entire body, not just the physical ailments that were going on.
It’s a mind, body, spirit. and started acupuncture school, which was actually a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. so did that and started in Denver. And then my husband and I moved down here in 2013. So I’ve been practicing. I did a solo practice for about seven years. And then in 21, my husband pushed me to open my dream clinic.
And we have been open here for about three years now.
[00:03:14] Susanne: Very cool.
[00:03:15] Missy: So you mentioned that you had an acupuncturist who piqued your interest in all of this and the word acupuncture, I think freaks people out. So I wanted to talk a little bit about what it is. Why it works and does it hurt? Because I do it every week. I know the answers to a lot of these questions because I do it every week or every other week.
but when I tell people I do it, they’re like, Oh my God, that sounds so painful. So I want to talk a little bit about the why behind it and what it is, if you can share that with us.
[00:03:45] Charleen: Absolutely. And I’ll share a little bit on the eastern side and the western side because sometimes when people hear the eastern side of acupuncture and Chinese medicine, it gets a little woo woo for them, a little out there, but there is a good
science behind it that people can actually understand. And it’s a little bit tangible.
So the theory and the basis behind Chinese medicine is that the body can heal itself. We have everything that we need to, to heal ourself. We just have obstruction. Those obstructions can be physical, they can be mental, they can be emotional. So our job is to identify those obstructions and break them free.
Let the body do what it needs to do. And we do that with a number of things, whether it’s cupping for muscle stuff or acupuncture for the internal. We also work with Chinese medicine and herbs. So there’s a whole array of things that we can do. So a typical session is usually when an acupuncturist or Chinese medical doctor will identify what’s going on based off of your symptoms and all of that.
And we usually start out with some muscle work, some palpation, all of that to see where everything is stuck. And then we use acupuncture needles. So I always like to tell people, I actually did this experiment in school because I didn’t believe them, but you can fit 30 acupuncture needles in one hyperdermic needle that a doctor would use.
So that kind of gives you a gauge on
how big the needles are.
[00:05:03] Susanne: heh.
[00:05:04] Missy: tiny.
[00:05:05] Charleen: so they’re super teeny tiny. You can actually bend the needles. They’re not stiff enough or thick enough that they’re, you know, you can’t bend them. They are pliable. So they are super tiny. And most of the time when we do a traditional treatment with acupuncture, you might feel a tiny pinch when the needle goes in, but after that you shouldn’t feel anything.
And most of our patients, Missy, if you can attest to this, most of our patients fall asleep on the table. So. Yeah, it’s very relaxing. It’s a very like it works with the energy. So when we talk the eastern, it helps with the energy blockages, helps open everything up, allow the body to heal and do what it needs to.
From a western side that people can attribute a little bit more knowledge, some tangible too, is when you puncture the skin with a needle, you are actually creating what we call a micro injury. So you are injuring the body. That puts the body into a healing process. So you’re creating a micro injury. It actually takes your body out of fight or flight.
shuts off that sympathetic nervous system and puts it into parasympathetic so that the body can heal. Now that is one of the hardest things for people to do nowadays just with our society with everything go go go is a lot of people can’t shut off that fight or flight system and acupuncture actually forces the body to do that.
So that’s one of the ways that it helps the healing process is it actually forces the body to shut off fight or flight because you’ve now created an injury. So now it’s going to go into the restaurant store to help that body.
[00:06:33] Susanne: Oh, interesting. Okay. So I usually typically think of acupuncture of like, okay, I have something that hurts here, or it’s something that you’re trying to heal or recovery. But say you’re just one of those people where everything feels pretty good, but
[00:06:48] Charleen: Does that person exist?
[00:06:50] Susanne: yeah, exactly. But like aches and pains wise, you’re in good shape, but maybe anxiety or just like you said, they’re just a person who lives in the world and, you know, has that fight or flight.
So that is something that you don’t necessarily have to have, like an acute pain or something specific, an injury that you’re treating.
[00:07:12] Charleen: Absolutely. And those are some of my favorite treatments or what we call maintenance treatments. You’re coming in just to keep everything nice and open and relax and take your mind off of stuff for an hour. And yeah, so definitely for stress and anxiety. I’ve been diagnosed with high functioning anxiety since I was 18, and it’s something that I can tell like when my body gets to that point, like I just need to shut off that nervous system so that my body can do what it needs to do and bring everything out of fight or flight.
[00:07:39] Susanne: Ooh, can you acupuncture yourself?
[00:07:41] Charleen: You can. you can. And I do regularly. I have two acupuncturists that work with me, but there are times that I just need to do. And one of the good systems for people who are anxious about acupuncture is called a regular acupuncture. So it’s actually all done in the ear. So you don’t have to lay down.
You don’t have to be still. Cause some people are like, I can’t lay there for an hour, but you can actually do a full acupuncture treatment with just the ear,
[00:08:06] Susanne: Okay, now that might sound even scarier to people. Are you, like, putting the needles in the, like, where, where
[00:08:10] Charleen: just like on the side, like right in here, it just goes on
the outside. So not in the ear.
But where you would get piercings, I’m sorry, where you would get piercings, you can actually do acupuncture.
[00:08:20] Susanne: Okay, I just wanted to clarify that for anybody who’s like, and what you can do is you can put them in your eyeball. Oh, that’s very interesting. Okay, because yeah, that might be for some people who are a little hesitant. Yeah, that laying down is kind of a submissive position. If you’re like, no, I still kind of feel in control. If you’re seated and kind of do that baby step.
[00:08:42] Missy: And Charlene gives you a panic button when you’re lying down. So, like, before she leaves the room, she tucks this little button under my hand, and I’m always afraid I’m accidentally going to do it, because I have never once panicked. I mean, I check completely out, it’s an out of body experience. I am not in the room with myself when it’s going on, but I’m always afraid I’m going to accidentally, like, fall asleep and twitch and hit that button.
But you do have a panic button if you are worried about lying there with needles in you.
[00:09:08] Susanne: No, any treatment that involves lying down, I’m all for.
[00:09:12] Charleen: Yes.
[00:09:13] Susanne: I might just book an appointment just to come take a nap on your table. That would be
[00:09:17] Charleen: Just a nap pod.
[00:09:19] Missy: I’ve been begging for the treatment plus nap package so that when my treatment is over, then I can just sleep for like 20 or 30 minutes because it’s so relaxing.
[00:09:28] Susanne: Oh, I’m going to have to try it. And I definitely, yeah. I’m curious, well we’ll probably have to talk afterwards, my mom’s been having a lot of trouble with sciatica and she’s tried just about everything else and I feel like, let’s try one more thing.
[00:09:43] Charleen: Absolutely.
[00:09:44] Susanne: so aside from the acupuncture, you’ve got the massage services also?
And what, what else could, what else could we take advantage of there? Are those the primary buckets?
[00:09:55] Charleen: we actually have, so we have acupuncture and massage. We have manual stretching. Then we have a cranial sacral and Reiki therapist. We have an infrared sauna and we have a cold plunge.
[00:10:08] Susanne: Oh my gosh, cool.
[00:10:10] Charleen: And then we do have another company that works with us that does all the vitamin injections, vitamin IVs, Botox fillers, the whole shebang.
So they’re a little bit separate, but they’re out of our clinic.
[00:10:21] Susanne: So how does that work then if someone is just like, something’s not right, I don’t even know what it is. Do you do an initial evaluation, decide what’s, what mix of all those things they need?
[00:10:32] Charleen: yeah, people can come in and just schedule an initial consult. I’ve done them over the phone, I’ve done them via email. And they’re like, you know, I have this problem going on. Can you tell me the best route? And those usually go through me just because I know everybody’s specialty, all of that, and then I kind of help them decide.
And sometimes it’s a combination of, you know, start here, let’s see how you respond to that treatment, and then we’ll move to X, Y, Z.
[00:10:57] Susanne: you’ve got two of us, we, we only fit one demographic of the 50 ish year old women, the menopause ladies, uh, we’ve got all different ages that listen, but I’m curious if you at this day and age what common things are you seeing in patients or do you call them patients clients? What, how do you refer to them. Okay.
[00:11:19] Charleen: don’t have a specific term. So we do work. A lot of our patients are injury related or pain. crossfitters are a big part of our clientele, people that work out anything weightlifting. we do get a lot of post surgery patients. To help with swelling, lymphedema, we take care of all of that.
sadly we have a lot of kiddos that are now starting to come in with neck and shoulder pain. Just the phones, the computers, all of this is
[00:11:48] Susanne: Oh my goodness.
[00:11:51] Charleen: we have coined a new term called Tech Neck. It’s that, you know, everything being forward, the kids are starting to get a little bit more of that hump earlier and earlier.
so we have started working with kids earlier and earlier on, neck and shoulder pain and also anxiety. Anxiety has been a huge KickUp, I would say over the last like five to six years.
[00:12:11] Missy: I bet.
[00:12:12] Susanne: Probably, yeah, probably for all age groups.
[00:12:15] Missy: Yeah. I feel like some of us are starting to feel it creep back up again, right about now. Oh,
[00:12:20] Susanne: as I’m like, Oh, does my kid have a tech neck?
[00:12:24] Charleen: It’s, you know, but it’s everybody. Now, you know, when you say you don’t have pain, I guarantee you everybody has some type of neck and shoulder tightness just because everything we do is forward.
The computers, the phones, even when we sit, a lot of times if you’re stressed in tension, your shoulders naturally come forward.
[00:12:42] Susanne: Yep.
[00:12:42] Missy: this and I feel myself like trying to
[00:12:44] Susanne: I know. I’m like, Oh,
[00:12:46] Missy: I’m like, cause I’m sitting here kind of hunched over.
[00:12:48] Susanne: know, I was just talking to some friends about this. And I think, I don’t know if it’s a woman thing, or if it’s a women with double D cup thing. But, I mean, I think I’ve also done that besides the tech, besides the stress, because it feels really weird as a woman to be like, here they are, here they are, world, and I, I don’t know. It’s, it’s just a weird thing to stand with correct posture. You feel like you’re posing, but I did just go and, uh, one of my friends was going back to work after maternity leave. So we celebrated with a little spa day and I got a massage. And that lady was, she probably needed a massage after my massage.
She literally, it was the first time someone ever got up on the table. And like, she was like kneeling on my butt and doing stuff. Uh, I needed to recover from it the next day, but she was saying that very much. She’s like, I can tell you are
[00:13:46] Charleen: forward.
[00:13:47] Susanne: doing this. And granted, there’s probably, I could list 20 things that do that, but mostly as I’m walking throughout the day, it is just because I don’t know, growing up, we were.
Not necessarily taught to just be like, yeah, throw those shoulders back and get the girls out kind of thing. So, I don’t know, I guess put them
[00:14:07] Missy: know. I think women, a lot of times we make ourselves small
[00:14:11] Susanne: Mm hmm.
[00:14:12] Missy: for whatever reason. That’s probably different reasons for all of us, but something about us doesn’t want to take up space and it’s just something we have to unlearn. Like take up the space and if you got double D’s, let them have their space. I want to talk a little bit about this. I mentioned this to you, Charlene. We can’t talk about services like this without talking about the great privilege it is to be able to get them.
Like, I feel very fortunate that I have access to this. you take insurance. which is amazing. So my insurance covers some of it. I have this crazy high deductible plan, so it covers less of it at the moment. But last year, when I had a major surgery, my treatments at the point were free for a while to me.
so that is a privilege. I have that insurance. I’m able to utilize it. I’m able to pay the copay that I need to pay right now. Are you seeing trends where Western medicine is starting to embrace these kinds of treatments and more people will have access through insurance? are there ways out there for someone who maybe doesn’t have the greatest insurance to find some sort of care like this?
[00:15:21] Charleen: So unfortunately, it is a slow go with insurance companies covering it, but they are even in the 10 years that I’ve been in practice more and more insurance companies are covering it and one of the big forefront leaders is Medicare and a lot of insurance companies go off of Medicare guidelines.
Now, Medicare does cover acupuncture now, but here’s the kicker.
They don’t cover it if it’s done by an acupuncturist. So there’s, we have lobbyists that are working, to overcome that, but Medicare is now covering acupuncture, which means everything else will start to fall in line. and become more available. The VA now has acupuncturists on staff, and we all know the VA is horrible about timely manner and getting people the care that they need.
So the VA is now starting to contract out to other acupuncturists that can take TriWest and TriCare. So although it is a slow process, we are making a lot of headway for that to become available to more people. And if they can’t afford a our treatments or more one hour treatments with an individual so they are on the pricier end, there are a lot of acupuncturists and we’re going to incorporate this into our clinic hopefully by the summer where you can find community acupuncture places.
So these are places where it’s not as You can’t do all the cupping and all the other stuff that we do in a one on one treatment, but you would walk into a setting where there’s like anywhere from five to six chairs set up and all the acupuncture is done elbows down and knees down and we can do the acupuncture in a group setting.
So then you’re not charged as much because the acupuncturist can make up that revenue because they’re treating six people at once.
So a lot of those are done on a sliding scale.
[00:17:09] Susanne: So it’s almost more like a mani pedi setup where you’re all in this communal area. Interesting.
[00:17:16] Charleen: So there are
clinics like that, um, where you can make it more affordable, but we are making headway. It’s just really slow.
[00:17:24] Missy: Yeah. Yeah. So I want to go back to this just briefly because this is not a podcast about insurance, but insurance drives me bananas. Um, if Medicare is not covering acupuncture done by an acupuncturist, where are they, what do they want people to do? What, what are they
[00:17:40] Charleen: are there are chiropractors that are trained in acupuncture.
And there are MDs that are trained in acupuncture, so they are actually Medicare providers, so they can bill.
[00:17:50] Missy: Oh,
[00:17:52] Charleen: the thing is, I actually cannot, like, to bill Medicare, not to get too detailed, but you actually have to have, like, a certain ID number.
I can’t even apply for an ID number, because acupuncturists can’t be providers through Medicare.
[00:18:04] Susanne: Got it.
[00:18:05] Charleen: So, it’s a whole, a whole thing. And it breaks my heart, because those are some of the people that need acupuncture the
most.
[00:18:11] Susanne: Yes.
[00:18:12] Missy: And I’ve just learned how much Medicare is driving other, like I had to get compression garments and it was all messed up. I don’t have Medicare, but Medicare changed something and all the other companies are following suit and everything’s a disaster. And anyway, it’s someone I’m sure has a podcast about health insurance and we need to go listen to it because it’s freaking mess.
Oh,
[00:18:39] Susanne: get me started. I’m very interested about this.
I was going to ask just about starting a business, like a brick and mortar business, because I’d still want to talk about that. But as someone who has a daughter who’s very interested in maybe pursuing physical therapy or this round and very interested in health and all these health and wellness, very curious how one becomes an acupuncturist or anything around Eastern medicine.
[00:19:06] Charleen: absolutely. So there are Austin actually has a school down in north Austin for acupuncture. But it is like I said, it was a lot more intense than I actually planned on going back to school for. But our curriculum that I went through in Colorado is a three year, 3. 5 year program all year round. So it is nine trimesters.
And with that, you learn all the acupuncture points, all the Chinese massage, all the herbs, treatment protocols, diagnosis. We actually have to learn, um, pharmacology also to make sure none of our herbs interact with medications that people are taking
and the counteractions of all of those. But yeah, it is an intense school.
It’s a university. So it’s not a bachelor’s degree, but you have to have certain prereqs done. In order to go and then it is full on three and a half years and that includes your clinicals though. So we did do clinical rotations and so that does include your clinicals.
[00:20:05] Missy: It’s amazing when you go in and say, so this hurts and also Charlene’s amazingly patient because I never walk in and say, well, it’s my shoulder. It’s tight right here. I’m always like, well, my shoulder’s tight right here and I’m not sleeping and I have a lot of anxiety and I’m also a little constipated and I feel sort of tight, you know, like I list a thousand things and she’s like, we got it.
[00:20:23] Susanne: And she probably touches a part of your elbow and is like, it’s all right there.
[00:20:28] Missy: Right. And she will put a needle somewhere. And I, I have at times felt something somewhere else in my body at that moment, but more often than not, I leave there and I’m like, Oh, Oh, like this place that was tight is loosened up and there wasn’t necessarily a needle there. So it’s really fascinating at what understanding of how things are all connected.
[00:20:49] Susanne: is all connected. Okay. So that, okay. So that’s how you start to. pursue a career, but, it’s one thing to have the degree or to have the certification and then to actually start a business. So, I mean, especially this is not something you can do virtually. You can’t do tele, I mean, you can do the consultation like you said, but this is definitely hands on.
AI is not going to be taking your job anytime soon. Um, so. What is that process like? That’s so intimidating to me. Anytime we talked in the last episode about signing a lease for my daughter’s apartment next year, and even that I got a little tense about. So what is it? What does that look like when you’re starting a brick and mortar business?
[00:21:35] Charleen: So starting that is, I would say the first thing you have to do is always have your support system and that’s not necessarily a business support system. It’s everything on the personal side because it is more work than you could ever imagine. And it takes a lot of energy. And if you don’t have that support system, I can tell you right now in the three years that we’ve been open here, I’ve wanted at least shut down two or three times.
[00:21:58] Susanne: Yeah.
[00:21:59] Charleen: And so it’s a lot. So that support system is the biggest piece for me, having that, but really looking for the demographic that you want to work with, where they are situated and then especially this clinic that I opened. So when I was at the chiropractic office, it was just me. I rented one room. I didn’t have any crazy overhead and it helps that I was able to build the business like that.
And then when I opened this clinic, my clientele literally just followed me down the road. but, you know, like you said, with the apartment lease, I was locked into a three year lease here.
And, you know, I’m downtown Round Rock. My rent for my building is three times the amount of my mortgage.
[00:22:44] Susanne: Yeah.
[00:22:45] Missy: Yeah.
[00:22:45] Charleen: is terrifying.
[00:22:46] Missy: It’s terrifying.
[00:22:48] Charleen: it is terrifying, but really looking for, you know, to get started is where do you want to be? What’s the clientele you want to work with? And then really finding out the logistic of like, how much room do you actually need? Because you can start too small and outgrow the space too quickly, or you can start too big and then, you know, have to pay for overhead that you’re not using.
So that’s really fine tuning, working with someone who’s done a brick and mortar business before in that industry or in a similar industry to help you get a grasp on. all of that, but it’s terrifying and find a coach, find a coach, find a coach, find a coach.
[00:23:28] Missy: Yes. We want to talk about that. How did you find a coach?
What did you look for?
[00:23:32] Charleen: one of the big things for me was, you know, I needed a coach that didn’t necessarily have the skills that I did. I don’t need somebody to tell me how to do acupuncture. I needed somebody to help me structure my business, what type of clinic I was looking for.
And then also somewhere that I still fail. And I’m working on is the social media. I am not good at social media. I am not consistent with it. I am not knowledgeable about it. And so that’s kind of where that came into play. And also somebody that’s
[00:24:03] Missy: I don’t relate to that at all.
[00:24:05] Charleen: yeah,
[00:24:07] Missy: at the social media.
[00:24:08] Susanne: I did a pose today, Missy. It looks like someone’s grandma did it. Anyway,
we
[00:24:15] Charleen: so really just finding somebody or a coach that excels somewhere where you’re like. so for me, that was Shailene and Brock’s Marketing Impact Academy, talking about finding your niche, honing in on that, looking for your ideal clientele and expanding from there. Because like I said, I didn’t need the acupuncture help.
I needed the building, the clientele, and the practice, and the social media help.
[00:24:40] Susanne: So what does that coaching, the cadence of that look like? Is it really heavy up front? And then you have like a maintenance that you meet with them on a regular basis, or are they a regular part of your life? How does that work?
[00:24:53] Charleen: So, regular part of my life, but a lot of their academy and their clinics are all done virtually at your own pace. So there are times when I have downtime that I’ll go through several classes and courses and then I do like that I can go back and revisit when I need to, but then definitely the weekly check ins, the monthly check ins, you know, all of that that can be tailored to what I’m working on at the time.
[00:25:18] Missy: And they help with things like the financial side of it. I can’t just, just this idea of having to bill and get people to pay you and deal with insurance and plan that out so that you have the money you need to pay your rent on this three year lease. Like, did someone walk you through all of that?
[00:25:35] Charleen: So not necessarily the business coach and that, and I hate to say it, but a lot of that’s been trial and error, and I’ve learned the hard way over the last 10 years. Um, my brother and my mom were both accountants. So I had some guidance on that, but I learned the old school way by trial and error, and I still to this day, I’m like, why, why am I doing this on my own?
Who’s letting me do this on my own? So,
[00:26:02] Susanne: That reminds me, our taxes are due this week, Missy. I need to do that. So, who was it that we just had on? Well, we didn’t just have on. We just released the episode for recently that was talking about fractional CE, no, fractional CFOs. Um, so that’s probably similarly. I mean, you have the business coach for certain things, but then have this more of the accounting support.
So it takes a village. It takes a village of professionals. Oh, so I was curious it sounds like it’s been. it’s been a real roller coaster. what are some lessons that like looking back, you wish you had known or that you had done differently?
[00:26:42] Charleen: one of the big things that I still struggle with to this day is when I did my own thing, it was just me for seven years. That was my business. I had no knowledge or preparedness for managing a team. And that is probably what I still struggle with to this day. So depending on what your business is going to look like, taking those steps to learn, I did not do enough education.
I did not do enough prep on what it would take to actually manage a team. I thought everybody would come in and do their job. No big deal, you know, and that is not the case whatsoever. So
that I wish I had more. Forewarning of,
[00:27:27] Susanne: Yeah, I don’t think you’re alone. Love, I think it was Lovey A. J. Is that, what’s her name? You know, Lovey
[00:27:33] Missy: Lovey,
[00:27:34] Susanne: So I think it was Lovey that I saw a post from yesterday that it was, I’ll have to share it.
It was basically she said, sometime I’m going to write a book that captures. Over the years, the tens of thousands of dollars that I have lost from employees that did not, you know, they didn’t sign the thing right, or they didn’t check the box, or they didn’t do this, or they left some client engagements, you know, in a bad situation that ended up harming the business.
And just people who don’t care for your business as much as you do, which I mean, I guess is natural. It’s your baby. But, you’re not alone and she’s like smarty pants, knows everything, millions of followers, writes all these books and you know, it still happens to her. So yeah, I can imagine for any small business owner, managing a team like that can be a real challenge.
[00:28:28] Charleen: Absolutely.
[00:28:29] Susanne: Oh my goodness.
[00:28:30] Missy: but we do want for, I know that some people are listening and they are too far away to take advantage of this. So we recommend finding someone in your community that has these services, but for people who can.
Absolutely. Get to Round Rock or live in Round Rock. Do you have any promotions or events that are coming up that you want to share with our audience?
[00:28:48] Charleen: we do. So right now, for the start of spring, we are running a promotion that is $60 for any 60 minute treatment at our office. So for a one hour treatment, we’re doing it at $60. And then we just launched a huge campaign last week that we are bringing in an amazing therapist that is going to work on cryotherapy toning.
So it is a permanent fat loss using cryotherapy. So there’s no downtime, there’s no surgery, anything like that. Just helping people if they want to lose a couple inches before summer. Um, and it’s a pretty cool treatment and it also helps with body inflammation and all of that good stuff. So we are launching that.
And we have some specials going on with that as well.
[00:29:33] Missy: Yeah. And if it sounds like voodoo magic, I did it. I took advantage of a entry price and did a session and I lost two inches around my waist. Two. Yes,
[00:29:45] Susanne: Where does this stuff go?
[00:29:47] Missy: I don’t know. You pee it out, basically, right, Charlene? Basically, you’re just The fat cells, you flush them out.
[00:29:53] Charleen: Yeah. So you actually, when you freeze them, you create damage to the fat cells and then it creates what I call fat trash. And then your body with a lymphatic drainage with leaves and infrared sauna, a vibration plate that your lymphatic system helps to flush all those out.
[00:30:10] Susanne: Oh, I want to
[00:30:11] Missy: crazy, so I’m saving up my dollars so I can do the whole, like, the whole, it’s multiple treatments. But yeah, I did an intro thing and thought It was amazing and it’s short, it takes no time and it sounds like it would be really cold and it’s not, it’s not not cold, uh, but it doesn’t last very long.
So it’s not miserable. You’re not uncomfortable during it before you know it, it’s over.
[00:30:35] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Okay. So now I have, I have another question for people who are outside of our area. what should people be looking for when they are looking for a practitioner? to make sure, I mean, is there some seal of approval or accreditation or certification that they should be making sure people have?
Okay.
[00:30:55] Charleen: Absolutely. So, um, besides three states, Texas being one of them because Texas likes to be an oddball, most
states require that the acupuncturist is nationally certified. So, we usually have a national certification and then usually have a state or local certification. So, definitely making sure that your acupuncturist is nationally certified and all that you can look up online.
You know, you can go to the National Acupuncture Association and search for a practitioner and make sure that their license is valid.
[00:31:26] Susanne: Great.
[00:31:27] Missy: very good advice. You don’t want to go to a quack. I mean, even though the needles are tiny, you still don’t want somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing, just randomly sticking them.
[00:31:37] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Well, this, okay. I think I might be being converted. I’m kind of, I’m not necessarily afraid of needles, but I’m just afraid of, I’m afraid of the unknown.
[00:31:47] Missy: Right.
[00:31:47] Susanne: Yes. So this is, this has calmed a lot of fears. I think I’m ready to give it a try. And I don’t even necessarily have anything that hurts except for my crippling anxiety and just like, and dealing with life.
But other than that, um,
[00:32:03] Missy: it’s been instrumental in my sleep improving,
[00:32:05] Susanne: Oh, Ooh.
[00:32:07] Missy: my sleep improvement has been a slow and steady process, but I think this has really been part of it. And I, for the longest time, I wasn’t having trouble falling asleep, but I was having trouble staying asleep.
And. Yes, I still wake up, but I wake up and just sort of assess that like, it’s still nighttime. I’ve got to go back to sleep and I’m back to sleep, which is amazing. Amazing. And I think this is part of it. Like, so it can do, you don’t have to be hurting to go in. Like there’s a lot of your body systems that need a little tweaking now and then,
[00:32:36] Susanne: Mm hmm.
[00:32:37] Missy: acupuncture is a great way to do it.
And then of course, at the point you can also follow that up with, I sit in the sauna sometimes, which feels amazing. I fell asleep in there yesterday as a matter of fact. I
[00:32:49] Susanne: I’m sensing a theme.
[00:32:51] Missy: know, I mean, it’s awfully hot to fall asleep, but I had, it’s Bluetooth connected. And so I put on the book I’m listening to and, yeah, I woke up and thought, wait, how did he get there?
What happened? What, what’s
[00:33:02] Susanne: my gosh. That’s me. That’s like when I was reading over a story and I was like, how did anybody, everybody end up in the top of a tree? I don’t know.
[00:33:09] Missy: I was really like, wait, we’re driving where now to do what? I don’t know. I’ve got to go back and figure out how that happened. Um, but yeah, there’s all these other things going on at the point that, Um, kind of the work together and the massage is really wonderful. So I highly recommend finding somewhere in your community that can offer this to you.
[00:33:25] Susanne: Awesome. Well, and since we have our, a lot of people listening in our community, uh, before we go to the Look, Listen, Learns, can you share like your website or where people can find you really easily?
[00:33:36] Charleen: So on any social, it’s just at the point Wellness. And then our website is the point wellness.com
[00:33:42] Susanne: All right. So with that, let’s jump into some Look, Listen, Learns and for new listeners. What’d you do?
[00:33:49] Missy: We did really well on
[00:33:50] Susanne: I know. We’re amazing. And we also, we also wasted a lot of time. So we’re doing extra good. We’re still getting back into the group. We’ve had a
[00:34:01] Missy: really are.
[00:34:03] Susanne: Oh, okay. Now I got to stop laughing. Almost. Okay. So it is time for our Look, Listen, Learns. Listeners, welcome and thank you for being here. At the end of each show, we spend a couple minutes with our Look, Listen, Learn segment where we share all the things that we’re either reading or watching or learning about. And we do not like to put our guests in the hot seat first.
So Missy, what are you look, listen, learning this week?
[00:34:30] Missy: Okay. Well, I was going to talk about a book that I’m reading, but I’m not finished with it yet. So I’m, I’m shelving that. We’re going to talk about that when I’ve finished it. I can’t wait to talk about it. so instead I am looking at, um, the new season of Somebody Feed Phil.
[00:34:42] Susanne: Oh, that’s right.
[00:34:44] Missy: I love somebody feed Phil to either.
You don’t watch it. Do
[00:34:47] Susanne: No, but you’ve
mentioned it, before. I’m
[00:34:49] Charleen: No.
[00:34:50] Susanne: it down.
[00:34:51] Missy: So great. It’s on Netflix and, uh, Bill Rosenthal is a TV producer. He’s, I think, done some acting. he was involved in Everybody Loves Raymond. Like, it was loosely based on his life. and so, but now he has this show. He travels the world and he talks to people about the food where they are.
And every show It has a tearjerker moment. It’s also really funny. And, um, he has a charitable component as well, but it’s fascinating to watch where he goes. And it makes me of course, want to get on an airplane. Pretty much every episode makes me want to get on an airplane. but there’s a new season, super fun.
So we’ve been watching a show or two every night. and it’s not a very long season, so we’re almost done, which makes me sad.
[00:35:32] Susanne: How many seasons are there?
[00:35:34] Missy: I think this is the 7th?
[00:35:36] Susanne: Okay. So,
[00:35:37] Missy: I think so. And early on, his parents play a big role, and it’s adorable. Like, he calls them from wherever he is, so there’s a video chat, and it’s really, really adorable.
so it’s great. Just like one of those shows that makes your heart happy. And also makes you really hungry and could be expensive if you buy a plane ticket to everywhere he goes. so I’m watching that. And then I’ve been watching this show that I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that I’m watching, that I’ve been watching, um, Resident Alien.
Anyone even heard of it? Okay. Netflix was like, you might like, I don’t know why Netflix thought I might like it.
[00:36:13] Susanne: they know you.
[00:36:14] Missy: Um, I guess. It’s kind of creepy. but it’s based, I guess, on a comic book, and I’m not a comic book person, so I don’t know. But it’s about an alien who ends up on Earth and, gets really involved in this little town.
He’s able to look like a person. Um, but gets really involved in everything that’s going on in this little town, and it’s It’s very funny, but it’s also kind of creepy at times and also a little sad at times and, uh, like I’m hooked.
[00:36:40] Susanne: Is it a new show?
[00:36:42] Missy: in its third season now, so like I am caught up and I’m now watching week by week as it comes out.
In season three and I can’t believe no one in my family can believe I’m watching it. No one wants to watch it with me. And I’m like, y’all, it’s really funny. Like the alien is really funny. So I don’t know if you just need something a little different than what you’ve probably been watching. Check out Resident Alien on.
I want to say I started it on Netflix, but now I’m having to finish it on maybe Peacock. Like the Netflix doesn’t have the current season. So I’ll find it and put it in the show notes where I’m watching the current season, but I had to flip over to another. And I liked it that much that I was like, I’m out of seasons.
I have to, where do I get the next one? I
[00:37:21] Susanne: my goodness. Okay, well you know what? Chris is out of town, so maybe I’ll try it. So it’s not, because I can’t watch any of our shows that we watch
[00:37:29] Missy: Right. Then you’ll get in trouble. That’s kind of how I started this one. Like there was something Mark and I were wanting to watch and I had a day where I just was chilling. I needed something on in the background. I’m like, I’ll try this alien. Why not? So that and then I’m listening to Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby
[00:37:46] Susanne: Oh, I love that one.
[00:37:48] Missy: so good. And I I’m listening to it. I have not read it, but I’m I still, without having compared the two, I would say, listen, because there’s an, yes, there is an octopus who talks and, um, yeah, it’s so great to hear it in his voice. so I highly recommend listening to that. And ironically, there was briefly a talking octopus in Resident Alien.
So I talking octopi are part of my world right now.
[00:38:15] Susanne: Maybe that’s how you got Algorithmed.
[00:38:18] Missy: Maybe. I don’t know what the universe is sending me, but the universe is sending me. Octopi. Um, I don’t know why. We’ll figure it out. If I find out, I’ll let you know. So anyway, that’s what I’m doing. What about you, Charlene?
[00:38:31] Charleen: So my look is the hubby and I try to have a show that we watch together and we are definitely behind, but we are trying to finish up succession.
[00:38:40] Susanne: love.
[00:38:42] Charleen: So that is what we are doing. And then one of my other favorite looks right now is my little one is six. And this is the first time she’s really trying something that she’s passionate about as far
as a class or activity goes.
And she just started cheerleading and it
just melts my heart that she is so passionate about it. So that is my other look. Like I just love watching her get excited and really find passion in something that she wanted rather than something mommy and daddy put her in.
[00:39:12] Missy: yeah. It’s pretty great.
[00:39:14] Charleen: that, um, my listen is I am really trying to experiment right now with biannual beats.
And, you know, alpha waves versus beta waves versus all of that and how my brain responds to them because everybody responds differently. So that’s really been what I’ve been playing with
recently. And it’s
[00:39:34] Missy: have to give us some links that we can put in show notes for like where you found good ones.
[00:39:39] Susanne: Yeah, because I have a mix of them that I listen to, but I think, is this, it’s weird that I actually start to recognize the patterns now, so I need, I need some
[00:39:48] Charleen: New ones.
[00:39:48] Susanne: fresh, beats.
[00:39:51] Charleen: And then my learn is I am a big fan of the Huberman podcast.
[00:39:56] Susanne: Me
[00:39:57] Charleen: So, I listen to it twice, but his podcasts are always so long, I have to take them in chunks.
But, we recently put a cold plunge on our patio here at The Point, and I’ve been doing it for about six and a half months now, so I’m going through a lot of his research on cold plunging and cold and heat exposure.
[00:40:16] Susanne: Interesting.
[00:40:17] Missy: the next thing I’m trying at the point is the cold plunge.
[00:40:20] Susanne: I’ve got a friend
[00:40:21] Charleen: I’ll hold you to
[00:40:21] Susanne: Portland that’s been doing that just in her pool because it, it works there. And she’ll do a picture every morning and every once in a while she’ll have a bunch of friends in the background that she drug along with her. And I’m just like, Oh. I love heat so much, but I guess you can follow it by heat, right?
Can you warm back up afterwards?
[00:40:41] Charleen: Yep, so we do the, we do the cold plunge followed by the infrared sauna,
[00:40:45] Susanne: Okay. So you get to warm back up. Okay. I’ll, I’ll, you sell me on that. That’s that I’ll do.
[00:40:52] Missy: Yeah. Cause there’s a lot of, we didn’t get into it and we don’t have time to get into it, but there’s a lot of interesting science behind what that does to your body. And it’s really supposed to be great for aging and bone loss and all kinds of crazy things. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so interesting.
[00:41:10] Susanne: Oh my gosh.
[00:41:11] Missy: well, what about you, Suzanne?
What do you look, listening, learning?
[00:41:14] Susanne: Well, I’m going to keep going on this, this health thing we’re talking about, because I’ve been looking at this book, um, I think it’s called Adrenal Transformation Protocol. I don’t, I did not bring it up here. But, um, I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. I had a very exciting adventure in college where my Thyroid nerve, my body decided to attack my thyroid.
and so I just have been chugging along for the past, what, 40 years? No, no, I’m
[00:41:43] Missy: No, not, not that many yet.
[00:41:44] Susanne: Um, but you know, all my thyroid supplements and all those things, but I’ve. just especially with menopause and changing body, just realizing that there’s probably more to be doing to address this than just, you know, taking the thyroid supplements.
So trying to get smarter about the things that I’m eating, not aggravating it. so according to this book, a lot of things that I eat, not even just junk food, but like, it’s like, Oh, you should try eliminating oatmeal. I’m like, no, that’s my magic food that I do forever. Um, and my yogurt that I like to mix with my oatmeal, but I don’t think it means you can’t have it forever, but it kind of starts with this elimination diet type of thing to try to figure out what your issues are.
But one of the other things that came out of it is even if you’re going to just keep eating whatever you want, to start using some supplements like ginseng and the, uh, you’re going to have to help me pronounce this one, uh, the ashwagandha.
[00:42:39] Charleen: ashwagandha,
[00:42:40] Susanne: Ashwagandha and maca and some other things. so now I’ve been researching that, that opens up a whole nother can of worms.
Like we were saying, like, how do you find a trusted acupuncturist? I feel like, how do you find trusted, you know, suppliers of all these different supplements to make sure that they’re not makes another weird stuff in there. so yeah, if you have any tips along those lines, I’m, I’m open because I think that, I mean, We’ve talked about when I was having a bunch of aches and pains, and I had a doctor who recommended just taking. What was it? Cumin? Does that sound right?
[00:43:15] Missy: No, it was,
um,
[00:43:17] Susanne: Uh, yeah, it was cumin. Yeah. And how shocking it was that that just cured me. I’m like, really? I could have just had a bunch of curry? And like, this is
[00:43:28] Missy: Delicious and I don’t hurt anymore.
[00:43:30] Susanne: So I’m very curious to see what, like, these things can do. But I’m also curious from a health expert’s point of view, would you recommend then, like, Trying one.
I, I’m, I’m afraid that if like something works, I’m not going to know what works. So like, do you usually recommend being like, okay, I’m going to try the ginseng. And then if that’s good, I’ll work something else in. Or I know that you were saying that there’s, uh, some things that mix them all together for you just for convenience sake.
So what do you recommend?
[00:44:00] Charleen: So usually when you’re looking at something, um, when you’re looking at thyroid, inflammation, anything like that, sometimes you do have to take a combo because they’re synergistic. So they all work together and they work on different things. I wouldn’t be as worried if you were taking three supplements that are supposed to do the exact same thing, then that’s a problem.
But, you know, like usually with thyroid, we have one for inflammation. We have one for the actual thyroid gland. We have one for the. The libido, and we have one for the energy, and those can all work synergistically. So as long as there’s improvement, we don’t worry too much about which one is it. But if you were doing three for inflammation or three for something, then you only do one at a time to see what’s actually working.
Mm-Hmm.
[00:44:45] Susanne: Oh, okay. Oh, I’m glad I had this
[00:44:48] Missy: to what they’re supposed to be doing for you. That’s good advice.
[00:44:52] Susanne: Okay. I’m hitting you up after this.
[00:44:54] Missy: Uh huh.
[00:44:55] Susanne: Get some information. Let’s see. What am I listening? I am listening to way too many news podcasts and I am not going to survive this election cycle. So I just need to stop. I need to stop. Someone come take my phone away from me.
And.
[00:45:12] Missy: the, uh, no more, no more news phase because it’s just, I mean, like my stomach is just knotted up.
[00:45:19] Susanne: I feel like there’s a duty to become, like to be an informed citizen, but I also like I need to know what that line is between being informed and just being a nervous wreck about the state of the world. So
[00:45:34] Missy: Right.
[00:45:35] Susanne: I don’t know. I do need a little bit of numbing, I think, especially now that I’m not drinking. I’m like, ah.
[00:45:43] Missy: I have no vices left, and the news is really horrible.
[00:45:47] Susanne: can only walk so much. And when I walk, I listen to podcasts, so maybe I’ll just listen to binaural beats while I walk.
[00:45:57] Missy: Or some music. Find some good
[00:45:59] Susanne: I’ll find some new music. Um, let’s see, learning. Oh, I just had a fascinating month at work because I think I’ve. I don’t know if I’ve complained about this before, but, since I bill based on my time, since I’m a contractor, it can be really tricky to be super accurate or maybe as accurate as I want to be with the time that I’m billing my clients for.
And so one of the features on Paymo, which is what I use for my invoicing and time tracking is an actual like timer. Which at first I was like, Oh, that’s going to make me a nervous wreck. Like it almost feels like you’re going against, you know, you flipped over the hourglass and now you’re trying to, but I’ve actually found it to be really grounding and like also make my time more intentional.
So because part of the reason I had to use it is because usually I do my time in 15 minute blocks and I can do. A hundred things in a 15 minute block and I was recognizing that and so now if I’m switching between tasks, I need to like recognize that I’m doing that and like, okay, and it makes me take a little pause because I have to go back to my timer and like turn off the last task I was doing and then go back to it and set it for whatever the next task is going to be.
And some of the tasks, I mean, it’s ridiculous. My time, my invoice for the past month was like 10 pages because some of them are like Two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, but you know, over the course of the month, they add up to be normal chunks of time, but it made me feel so much better that the accuracy was there.
And also it probably saved me. At least 15 to 20 percent of my time a day, because I caught myself at the end of the day and I wasn’t doing this on the books, I wasn’t getting paid for this part where I would be going back and being like, Okay, I know I was sitting at my desk from one to two, what was I working on?
And I would have to go look through our project management thing to be like, Okay, what did I submit during that time? I was even going back into my like, internet browser history to be like, what website was I on during that point? Yeah. Yeah. To see like what I was working on. And now at the end of the day, I hit stop at that last task I was working on and it’s done.
And it was such a beautiful thing. I did it for the whole month. Cause I was like, surely I’m going to get tired of this, but it’s still, I think the number one benefit though, is just, it’s helping me be much more aware of all that. task switching and to thinking about ways that I can batch tasks together so there isn’t so much switching and just be more conscious of the way that I’m using my time.
And also just a way smarter use of my time to not be spending another hour after the workday unpaid, um, trying to figure out what I was doing all day.
[00:48:55] Missy: Oh, it’s my least favorite part of being a contract employee is tracking that. It’s stressful to me, and I want to get it right, and you don’t want to be overcharging your client or undercharging. Like, you don’t want to not get paid for what you’re doing. but yeah, it’s hard, so I
[00:49:11] Susanne: No, to the minute, I haven’t, and it makes me, and again, since I am so conscious of like making sure that I’m being super accurate, because there were times when I’d have a block of time where I knew, I mean, I knew I had not gotten up for a chunk of time. I knew I was working and couldn’t figure out, and I just wouldn’t bill for it because I was like, well, I’m not just going to.
Make it up. So, um, so no, it’s good for me. It’s good for the clients. It’s good for everything. So yay, Paymo. I keep on saying Paymo is like our new Canva and just keep on, keep on talking
[00:49:43] Missy: Brought to you by Paymo and Canva.
[00:49:46] Susanne: I’m a big fan and yeah, super, super helpful. So that has been my learn, that I can make it a whole month using this.
And I have now, I have set myself up as a client so that when I’m not at work, I’m also tracking my own time on there. So I have it broken down into like Caring Hope podcast. So I’m doing my own time tracking as I’m doing my other tracking, so.
[00:50:09] Missy: You’re so fancy. I
[00:50:10] Susanne: I am so fancy. I know, back, remember when we were doing all the Laura Vanderkam time tracking stuff?
I was like, that’s ridiculous. There’s, no one could possibly do that for their whole life, but, it turns out it actually, I mean, I wouldn’t do it if I was just like still doing stay at home ing stuff, um, if I had to run back to my computer every time that I was, I’m going to do, you know, change a diaper now, I’m going to do this now, or I’m going to go run to this meeting or whatever, but since I’m literally just sitting there anyway, um, in front of the computer, that’s been really helpful, so.
That’s me.
[00:50:44] Missy: All right. Well, we’re about two minutes away from our
[00:50:46] Susanne: No, I didn’t start till like 2. 05, so
[00:50:49] Missy: Okay. Oh, good. Good.
[00:50:51] Susanne: but we can say our goodbyes anyway.
[00:50:53] Missy: Yes. Thank you for being here. I know you’re really busy, Charlene, and you’re probably running to go put needles in somebody the minute we’re done, but I really appreciate you taking an hour out of your day for us.
[00:51:03] Charleen: thank you guys so much for having me.
[00:51:06] Susanne: such a pleasure to meet you, and I think I’ll be meeting you in person very soon.
[00:51:10] Charleen: Absolutely.
[00:51:11] Missy: You can come have a whole field trip to this part of the world, Suzanne, and you
can, we can hang out and you can go get a treatment and
[00:51:18] Susanne: Oh, we totally should do that. We can do it.
[00:51:20] Charleen: the street and get some coffee.
[00:51:22] Susanne: Yeah, we can bring back the tipsy ellipses for an episode. can.
Uh, well, thank you again. This has been really great. And I am going to be hitting you up for my, supplement information, get my inflammation down and figure out my junk, but
[00:51:37] Missy: awesome.
[00:51:38] Susanne: thank you so
[00:51:38] Charleen: Alright, thank you guys.
[00:51:40] Missy: Have a great rest of your day. Bye.
[00:51:42] Susanne: bye.
Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.
com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at mom and podcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.
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Show Summary:
This episode of the Mom &… Podcast features a vibrant conversation with special guest Allie Perez, an advocate for women in trades and a successful CMO and COO of George Plumbing Company. The hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, delve into Allie’s journey from an NYU drama graduate to a trailblazer in the male-dominated plumbing industry. Allie shares her experiences of founding the organization Texas Women in Trades to address the lack of female representation and mentorship in the field. She also highlights the importance of setting personal boundaries and prioritizing self-care, and discusses the challenges and solutions related to being a working mom in the trades. Additionally, the episode touches on topics like manual lymph drainage, the benefits of compression wear, and personal updates from the hosts.
Allie Perez is the CMO/COO of George Plumbing Company, Founder of Texas Women in Trades Texas Women Work. She serves on the City of San Antonio Small Business Advisory Committee as the Mayor’s Appointee. She also serves on the City of San Antonio – Workforce Development “Ready to Work” Board. She works with tradeswomen advocacy across the nation. She was recently named one of San Antonio Business Journal’s 40 Under 40 2024. She is a graduate of New York University. Also, a proud mother of a 9-year old firecracker daughter.
Connect with Allie Perez and Texas Women in Trades:
Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
Navigating Motherhood, Careers, and Well-being with Dr. Anne Welsh
Feb 15, 2024
February 15, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 134 / Guest: Dr. Anne Welsh
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Show Summary:
This episode of the Mom &… Podcast features guest Dr. Anne Welsh, a mom, clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Dr. Welsh shares insights about the dilemmas and challenges women often face when returning to work after maternity leave, as well as the importance of understanding that these decisions are not always permanent and can be adjusted according to changing circumstances over time. The episode also dives into the ways in which parenting skills can be valuable in the professional space, and the importance of having a supportive community during these transitions. Moreover, Dr. Welsh introduces her Working Mothers Lifeline group, designed to support working mothers through their shared experiences.
Topics From This Episode:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:00 Hosts’ Personal Updates and Anecdotes
01:39 Introducing the Guest: Dr. Anne Welsh
03:00 Dr. Anne Welsh’s Career Journey and Expertise
05:47 Understanding the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching
07:54 Challenges and Transitions in New Parenting
11:41 Exploring Parental Leave Coaching
14:40 Navigating the Decision to Return to Work Post-Maternity
17:57 The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms and the Importance of Self-Care
28:39 Strategies for Keeping Skills Fresh During Extended Leave
31:38 Parenting as a Skill-Building Exercise
32:19 The Three Categories of Skills Developed Through Parenting
33:09 Parenting as Project Management
33:55 The Value of Parenting Skills in the Workplace
34:34 Transitioning Back to the Workforce
35:35 Tips for Preparing to Reenter the Workforce
35:49 The Importance of Self-Compassion and Getting Help
39:14 The Working Mother’s Lifeline Group
39:24 The Power of Community for Working Moms
41:35 Look, Listen, Learn: Recommendations and Discoveries
Dr. Anne Welsh is a clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Dr. Welsh began her career at Harvard before opening her own practice with a focus on supporting working parents in growing their careers and families. She is a mother of 4 and draws on her own experience as a mother, her research career in the transition to motherhood, and her 15 years in practice to help parents feel less alone, more connected to themselves and their values, and more empowered to make choices that fit for them.
Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
[00:00:08] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot dot dot podcast the podcast that helps you make your ellipses count You know all the dot dot dots that come after I’m a mom and and I’m Susanne Kerns a mom and dot dot dot writer LGBTQ and sex ed advocate and this week I am starting A new client. I’m up to two now, which is pretty exciting, and it’s also my lucky number, so I’m stopping there.
[00:00:33] Missy: All right. Perfect. You’re done. I
[00:00:35] Susanne: I know. Part time needs to stay part time. That’s my motto.
[00:00:38] Missy: That’s right. That’s right. And I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week returner of random items that I’ve bought in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. So note to everyone, don’t shop when you have insomnia because you don’t need any of that stuff.
[00:00:54] Susanne: Oh, are you going to share what any of them were?
[00:00:56] Missy: the one thing, it’s not that interesting, but I bought a mattress pad that we don’t need. Like I woke in the middle of the night in a panic and I’m like, we don’t have a mattress pad for that bed. Yes, yes, we do. Like, I’m not drinking. I’m not on drugs. I just am not sleeping well. And my brain is going on too many things.
And yeah, but I, yeah, and I bought just, you know, shoes that don’t fit and tops that are stupid and, you know, just stuff. Stuff. I get it. And I’m like, what? Oh, I bought a pair of coveralls, like Dickie’s coveralls. Thought they’d be really cute. They were not.
[00:01:26] Susanne: I’m scared. Those always look so cute on people, but I think my boobs are too big. I think that they would do
[00:01:32] Missy: I don’t know what was wrong with my body in them, but it was not happening.
[00:01:37] Susanne: Oh my gosh, okay, and we do have a guest today too, not just our shopping recap. Our guest this week is Dr. Anne Welsh. Anne is a mom and dot dot dot clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Anne began her career at Harvard before opening her own practice with a focus on supporting working parents in growing their careers and families.
She draws on her own experience as a mother of four, her research career in the transition of motherhood, and her 15 years in practice to help parents feel less alone, more connected to themselves and their values, and more empowered to make choices that fit for them.
Welcome. Oh my, those are all our favorite things to talk about. I’m so excited.
[00:02:20] Anne: I’m super excited to be here. I have listened to many of your shows and learned from all of your other guests, so it feels like a real treat to get to be the guest this time.
[00:02:30] Susanne: Oh, yay.
[00:02:31] Missy: Thank you. We’re really glad you’re here. And we learned some about you from your bio, but we’d love to look at a little more and one Oh one and just a snapshot of your career in life and maybe any pivots and how motherhood might’ve impacted any of those pivots.
[00:02:45] Anne: Yeah, I, started out, getting my doctorate in psychology, but there was a pretty big pivot even before that. I had gotten into medical school and decided not to go. Uh, my parents were not thrilled, but I kind of just knew that this was not quite. The fit, even though I had worked really hard to get there.
and so I decided I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology and thought I might want to go kind of academic and, you know, again, Reassessed over time and ended up going into a more clinical focus. but from the beginning, my research was actually on the transition to motherhood. I was not a mom.
I was in my early twenties at the time and I really liked transitions. Um, like that was the thing that I enjoyed studying and kind of how people navigate shifts in their life. And my research advisor at the time was like, hey, why don’t you look at motherhood? it’s really understudied. And that was very true at the time.
And so I started researching and then I actually defended my dissertation like eight and a half months or eight and a half weeks. Sorry, pregnant. So nobody knew I was super sick. Um. But defended my dissertation on the transition to motherhood, and then, you know, promptly nine months later went through it myself and was still kind of woefully unprepared, even though I had been researching it for years.
Um, and so then I went on, I worked at Harvard for a while doing university mental health, which had been my dream job. It had been the thing that I wanted to do for a while. And I, and I did love it. I loved the students. They were interesting and bright and motivated. but once I had my second kid, it just was too intense to do it in a full time way.
University mental health is a pretty intense, It’s pretty intense work. It’s a can be an intense schedule and I asked to cut back even a little bit and there was just no flexibility and so I left to do my own thing. And since then, basically, I’ve kind of shifted my focus into clinical work with new parents, and I do that both through therapy and through coaching and, you know, more recently, kind of in the And I have started to do it in a consulting way as well helping companies retain working parents or bring them back into the workforce after so many left to do caretaking during covid.
[00:04:56] Missy: Right.
[00:04:57] Susanne: Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that’s so interesting. I mean, talk about the transition to parenting, defending your dissertation at eight and a half weeks pregnant. Oh, my gosh.
[00:05:07] Missy: perfect. I love the way the world works sometimes.
[00:05:09] Susanne: and just to give a little context to our conversation, we’ve talked about this with previous guests, but in case it’s anyone’s first time, welcome.
Glad to have you here. Um, or if anybody needs a refresher, can you help explain the difference between therapy and coaching? Um, How you practice those.
[00:05:25] Anne: Sure, yeah. And I think you know I may have a slightly different perspective as someone that currently does both, you know, and I think of them as like a Venn diagram right they’re not separate entirely separate buckets. And I think. It may be the amount of overlap is going to differ depending on who it is you’re working with.
I think the traditional definitions are things like therapy is treating a mental illness. therapy is focusing on the past. and that coaching is present focus and is looking towards the future. But I think even that there’s actually a lot. It’s less cut and dry than that in in that coaching shouldn’t be used to treat mental illness.
But a lot of therapy clients that I work with don’t have a significant diagnosis. They’re going through a transition point. They have something they’re addressing. That’s kind of a moment in time. And that’s what we’re working on. So you don’t have to have like capital M. mental illness to be in therapy.
Um, and I also have coaching clients who have a therapist, right? So they may have anxiety and they’re working on that with their therapist and working with me on career development. so I know that actually probably muddies the waters more than clarifies it. but you know, I think the bigger thing is that, you know, with.
Therapy. It can be long term. The goals are usually symptom remission. It can sometimes feel a little more meandering. Coaching is super goal oriented and usually there is something very concrete we’re working on. It’s usually shorter term, not always. And it is usually behaviorally focused. We definitely look at thoughts, but there is often a, here’s a behavior I want to change, here’s exactly what I want to look different on the other side of this.
[00:07:06] Susanne: Thank you for that reminder. It’s always helpful to, yeah, give us just a little framework for as we discuss kind of the both sides of the services you offer.
[00:07:14] Missy: Yeah. We want to talk a little bit about that new parenting stage. We’re past that. A lot of our listeners may be past that as well, but even if you’ve done it, or maybe you’re doing it for the sixth time, or maybe someone you love is doing this and you want to be able to reach out to them, what kinds of things are you really helping new parents address most in this post COVID world?
Always.
[00:07:36] Anne: I would say, and I would say to your point, right, whether it’s your first or your sixth or whatever in between, it is always a transition because there’s always a new family member. And I would say the stuff that I’m working with new parents on doesn’t go away when your kids are older, often, right, because I’d say the one of the most common things I’m working on is feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you’re failing and sadly, I don’t think that goes away when your kids get older.
Certainly it hasn’t been my experience that it gets easier. It gets different,
but it’s not like there’s less to do. You know, I think in that toddler age, the physical demands are there like it’s exhausting in a physical way when they’re teenagers. It’s still kind of exhausting, but it’s just a different sense of it.
Um, But so I would definitely say overwhelm is a huge one. Um, and so we talk about a lot of boundary setting. What can you put down? What balls can you not hold on to right now? with that feeling of failing. And that’s again true whether you’re, you feel like you’re failing, As a working mom, as a at home mom, as some combination of, of either, we’ll often talk about things like perfectionism and try to grow confidence and think about, like, what are the stories and the expectations we have for ourselves and maybe where is that not true, or not aligned with kind of our values, the other things that come up, and again, I think this is true of new moms or Um, Kind of, uh, veteran moms, if you will, right, of feeling alone and unsupported, whether that’s with friends or with your partner or, with a broader sense of community.
and then also feeling unhappy, right? I think a lot of times it is this sense of, you know, I’m doing this mom thing and I wanted these kids and I’m Doing my best, and I’m not happy, and I’m not sure why, um, and that’s another, a common one, and sometimes, you know, in my therapy patients, sometimes it is that an undiagnosed postpartum depression or anxiety that they don’t recognize, but sometimes there’s other pieces to it.
A lot of times it’s, I’ve stopped asking myself what I want because I’ve been so focused on everybody else, and There isn’t necessarily an awareness that they stopped, right, and so we have to kind of relearn how, how do I even ask myself what I, and we’ll start with like, what do you want for dinner?
Right? What,
[00:09:58] Susanne: Oh, my gosh, you’re speaking to
[00:10:01] Anne: work up, you know, to what do you want to do with your life? What do you want this parenting thing to look like?
[00:10:08] Missy: it’s one of my favorite things to talk about. And I’ve told the story a thousand times on this podcast, or at least a few. And at one point, a therapist asked me, what do you like? And I couldn’t answer it. And it was that it completely that, that I had forgotten to ask myself what I was interested in or what I wanted.
I was just so focused on surviving every day with these little people.
[00:10:32] Susanne: Yes. Well, and speaking of getting ready for life with these little people, one of the services you offer is parental leave coaching, which I don’t know if that didn’t exist 18 years ago when I was going through this, or I
[00:10:44] Missy: We needed it.
[00:10:45] Susanne: have the know how to go even look for it or it’s probably too cheap.
I don’t know. but so what does that encompass when someone comes to you for parental leave coaching?
[00:10:54] Anne: just to answer your other question, you know, it didn’t, I don’t think it did exist. Um, Amy Beacom, who was a guest on your show,
really
[00:11:01] Missy: love
[00:11:02] Anne: Yeah, so she, I would say she really pioneered this field after her kids. So it is new, um, as a service. And now, you know, there are individuals that of us that do it.
There’s a couple companies that are trying to, Get it kind of as a work benefit that would be offered through HR at your
[00:11:20] Missy: Mm hmm.
[00:11:21] Anne: um, and I know Amy is doing that, but really what it entails is support through, kind of dual support through the transition to parent and the transition to working parent, because they’re kind of two massive things that happen simultaneously, and so what that looks like is some coaching while you’re pregnant, right?
there is an assessment that we can do that helps highlight what skills and strengths you’re bringing into this transition, but also maybe where there’s some gaps that we can be filling in ahead of time, um, and there’s a lot of planning around how are you going to take care of yourself and have help during the leave, and how are you going to hand off work to people so that you don’t have to feel super connected to work if you don’t want to.
What do you want that connection to work to look like while you’re out? And then how do you anticipate going back? So lots and lots and lots of planning and kind of thinking ahead. Then during the leave, there’s also coaching just to support that initial transition to, oh my god, I have a human being I have to take care of and what am I doing?
and that’s, you know, more emotional work. And then there’s support. Really important support on the on the other side and and on the transition back and a lot of like stopping and reassessing. Is this working? Does this actually fit? Does this feel okay? What do you need? it’s ideally gradually taking your work back.
But again, that can look different for different people. And kind of recognizing that you’re doing these two massive life transitions back to back, you’re still doing one and then you add a whole nother one, because being a working parent is very different than being a working person. And that’s just inherent in the nature of it.
And so it’s that kind of three, block support for parents as they navigate this whole piece. And it’s not just for mothers, that is true for anybody, um, as they take on a new life in their house.
[00:13:15] Missy: Yeah, there’s so much involved in that, and I think we oversimplify it and probably have oversimplified it for years of just, well, my company gives me X amount of time off. I’m going to take that time off and then off I go back to work. And it is so much bigger than that. And so complicated. I am wondering, it’s been a long time since I was in the traditional workforce and a long time since I had babies, what are some of the common issues currently facing that women are facing when they say, I need to take off?
This time you leave time that I get from my company, what’s going on now? What kinds of issues are they having with companies? Have things improved? Are things worse in some areas? How does it look? What does the landscape look like?
[00:13:56] Anne: You know, I, I wish I could sit here and tell you it’s like infinitely better. Um, It’s not I mean it varies right in terms of what leave actually looks like it really does vary company to company, you know We’re seeing a couple new states have passed parental leave laws where they are required by the state to be funded It’s often very complicated, even then, because it can involve different combinations of firm provided leave, state leave, short term disability, and sometimes you just need help kind of figuring out how and what applies to you for it.
So there is a little bit of a complication with that, but I think Some of the bigger issues, in addition to just like figuring out what your leave is, is figuring out how to navigate it emotionally, logistically, right? And so, you know, first there’s the question of do I even want to go back and what do I want that to look like?
And that’s a big one. there’s the question of What does my house look like now? What is getting out the door in the morning look like as I come back? I’ve seen a lot of moms who, you know, especially if they are the mom that, has more leave, which is not always the case, and, and that’s great. I definitely see a little bit of movement in men both being provided leave and then being able to take it, right, as opposed to, oh yeah, we, we provide it and then we actually frown upon you using it.
Um, but I think I see, you know, moms who’ve said, well, while I’m on leave, I take over all these house duties and baby care duties. And then. There’s a really rough transition when they are also going back to work and the co parent hasn’t had to do these things right and so there’s just so much communication that’s needed around the end of parental leave and whatever that’s going to look like within the couple. There’s also, you just, you miss your baby. Or you do and you don’t, right? And then you feel guilty about it, right? Like, you know, I know some moms who have said, I feel competent at work. I don’t feel competent raising this baby. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. It feels scary and hard. And I want to go back.
And I’m excited about that. And it’s the place that I feel like myself. And then does that make me a bad mom? No, of course it doesn’t, but that there’s just a lot of guilt that shows up kind of no matter what choice you make or how you navigate it, that somehow I must be doing it. Strong or that other people have gotten this figured out better.
[00:16:27] Missy: Why do we always go there? We always go to, I’m screwing up and everyone else is doing okay. What is wrong with our brains?
[00:16:34] Susanne: I know. It’s in so many different areas of our lives too, not just parenting. It’s just a, yeah, it’s a weird phenomenon.
[00:16:42] Anne: well, and there’s some, you know, I unrelated, but there is some data that women’s brains do tend to worry more and go towards, that they’re kind of, I don’t know that I would say less risk averse, but, um, in her book burnout, if anyone’s
[00:16:55] Susanne: Oh yes. I think it’s right up here. Yeah.
[00:16:58] Anne: Um, I think she talks about this and then the other book that talks about it is the confidence code and I’m going to blank on the author of that one, but that.
[00:17:07] Missy: it up and put it in the notes.
[00:17:08] Anne: Yeah, there’s this tendency for women to be more of a worrier, than a warrior, and that they, they tend to ruminate more just biologically. Um, so I think that’s probably, like, I think there is something to be said that we do actually tend to blame ourselves more. But I would also say there’s the cultural component, right, of we have these crazy high expectations of mothers and they’ve only gotten higher and higher and higher, and it’s impossible to meet them.
So, of course, we look at the expectations and say, well, if they’re there, that must be because everybody else is doing it as opposed to these are unrealistic and nobody’s doing it.
[00:17:47] Susanne: Yeah. Who said those? Who said those? I don’t even know. You know what I
[00:17:53] Missy: this to us and why did we just swallow it?
[00:17:55] Susanne: No, I think it is, people trying to sell us things. I think it is like products. And sorry, I, I’m involved in marketing, that’s my career, but, but I do think it is, oh, we’re trying to sell this bleach, or we’re trying to sell this cleaner, or we’re trying to sell this service, or whatever, so we need to make sure that you don’t feel like whatever you’re doing.
Is clean enough is right enough is Enough enough. So yeah, I think a lot of it comes down to that. But okay, so we’re talking about Part of me wants to really focus on the transition back to work, even though you usually talk about it on a Returning after a maternity leave. My maternity leave is now ending after 18 years.
So, so
[00:18:38] Missy: That was your leaf. That’s
[00:18:39] Susanne: I’m also going through that transition. So I’m going to circle back to that at the end if we still have some time. But what got me here 18 years ago was the big decision of. Whether or not to return to work after maternity leave, um, I think I had assumed that I was going to run into the same situation you did where if I asked for flexibility that they were just going to be like, Nope, you can’t.
And 18 years ago, we weren’t really talking about too much flexibility. It was either you worked or you didn’t. and especially you worked. In the workplace, there wasn’t a whole lot of at home or any flexibility there. I literally called, my client was Apple at the time, and I called her, like, practically in tears from the back of a bus once, asking her, like, how did you decide, like, how do you decide whether you go back to work?
Which is not a very professional thing to ask your client. Leaving on maternity leave, but she, I considered her like a mother extraordinaire. She had these three amazing kids and she just seemed to be doing it all. And she had taken also some time off. So I was really curious, like what,
[00:19:42] Missy: like how did you do
[00:19:43] Susanne: yeah, since she had been through it and I didn’t know too many people who had been through it.
And it’s taken time. Everybody I knew from work went back to work. So, I mean, there’s obviously the paycheck to consider, but like, what are the other considerations that people should be thinking of if they’re going on maternity leave, or maybe they’ve been working for 10 years and the baby’s. You know, going into high school or whatever, but they’re thinking of taking some kind of leave to care for an aging parent or to take care of their own health care needs like what, considerations do they need to be making sure they’re aware of, like mine, I discovered was not knowing that social security doesn’t exist for stay at home mom.
So, so even in addition to the income you’re losing, you got to take into consideration your social security that you’re not contributing to for X
[00:20:30] Missy: Long term. Yeah.
[00:20:31] Susanne: so what are some other things that you help moms think through?
[00:20:35] Anne: Yeah, I love this like discernment work. And I think, you know, you made the point of like, do you do it later? That’s the other piece to it. One piece that I think people don’t necessarily consider is that this doesn’t have to be an all or nothing permanent decision. You don’t have to leave when they’re an infant and never go back or work forever.
Right. I’ve worked with moms who went back when their babies were infants and decided to cut back when their kids were in middle school or whatever that like, It’s it’s a constantly evolving decision. It’s like not a one and done thing. So that’s the first piece I would say right is that, you know, you don’t have to think of this as a lifetime decision, you can think of this as a six month chunk at a time
[00:21:17] Susanne: Yeah.
[00:21:18] Anne: and test it out.
And the other thing I would say is that You know, broad brushstrokes is that transitions take time, right? We usually say give you got a new job takes three to six to nine months and somewhere, you know, up to a year to adjust. So, know that that’s going to be your adjustment length on the other side of this.
Because yes, maybe you’re going back to the same job, but you are not the same, right? And, and your home life is not the same. So just lots and lots and lots of grace and self compassion, around it and, and kind of testing things and seeing how they feel. I would also say it’s always worth asking, you know, to your point, obviously you said you didn’t even consider it and I got a big No.
Um, But that’s not always the case, right? I have also had clients who have had success being able to navigate a lot of middle ground, whether that is they do part time, or they can stay remote, or they have one day off a week, or they, contract so that they’re working sometimes and not, and obviously that’s not always an income situation that’s, A possibility for everyone, but, um, you know, if it is, that can be a great option.
So, I’d always say ask, because, you know, the worst case is they say no, but, you know, in my case it wasn’t no and you’re fired, it was, here’s your choices, come back or don’t, full time or nothing. and then I could at least make an informed decision. Um, I think the other things to consider, you know, that we kind of think through are, What do you want child care to be if you go back and and or if you stay home?
How would you like that to look? Having good and obviously this is a challenge, you know care is just so expensive But having good child care can make or break the experience as a working parent and I’ve had both I’ve had bad child care and and it makes All the difference in the world and so being able to think through what does that look like for you if you’re working and if you choose to stay home, what does that look like, because you should have some help.
And it’s not maybe it’s not paid childcare you know we could have a whole episode about childcare options, but basically thinking through how do I want help if I stay home and how do I budget for that and make sure that that’s kind of included in my thinking. Um,
[00:23:36] Susanne: want to put that in my notes with like a hundred stars around it because I think that is something that I did not even allow myself to consider because I felt, I don’t want to say guilty. It wasn’t like my husband was like, Oh, shame on you. No money. It was just like, I put that on myself like, well, I’m not bringing in any money, so who am I to.
Take even more money to cover the thing that I am supposed to be doing. It just, it felt really unnatural to me. And I’m sure a lot of people have felt the same way. So like, how do we convince ourselves that it’s important? We’re worth it. it pays for itself and more in the end, as far as how you’re able to interact with your family, your child, and just how you feel for yourself.
[00:24:19] Anne: Right, I mean, it’s funny. I didn’t even get it until probably I think it was pregnant with my fourth and we were getting life insurance. And I mean, the fact that it took this long to hit me, right? The life insurance person. I was like, well, I don’t make that much money because I was pregnant.
working fairly part time at the time. So I was like, I don’t think we really need much. And the life insurance person said, it will cost your husband 150, 000 a year to replace you just in the work you do at home and childcare. You can’t discount that. And that, that was the first time where I was like, Oh, right.
[00:24:53] Missy: thing happened to us and it changed my outlook. Really, it changed this kind of, I don’t want to say sadness, but there was this had been this emotional burden to not making as much money. And when I looked at it that way, I was like, Oh, I am, I am doing valuable work. Society as a whole doesn’t always value it, but this is valuable work.
it would cost my husband a lot to replace me.
[00:25:16] Anne: Yeah. Yeah.
Right. I mean, not to mention the emotional side, but you know,
[00:25:20] Missy: Not to mention, I hope he’d also be sad. I don’t know.
[00:25:23] Susanne: yes, just as a tangent and I’m really curious because I’m thinking of this I’m like, yeah, that did make me feel better But I also my life insurance is it half the amount of my husband’s so yes It made me feel like I was valued and like yes, I needed some but it also was half the value of my husband’s part of that is because my cholesterol is like through the roof and Hey, no one go get life insurance while you are nursing, by the way, I do have high cholesterol anyway, but apparently that has significant impact on your cholesterol levels and that has for the past 20 years impacted my life insurance rate.
I pay the same amount per month for half the coverage. because I was slightly elevated again, it could just be genetically. I’ve always had high cholesterol, but I’ve heard from many people after that, that while you are nursing. And, you know, post baby. So, get, get your blood test done ahead of time, whatever you need to do, or wait, and I don’t know, you should probably shouldn’t wait until after, because there’s all kinds of considerations, but keep that in mind, because that is a huge, that’s a big cost, and the fact that it did make a decision to do half the coverage, because it did cost so much for me.
It kind of made me feel like half a person,
so, laughs Half a person with really high cholesterol.
[00:26:43] Missy: That’s right.
Oh, I wanna talk a minute about, while we’re talking about leave, I wanna talk about the people who maybe decide to take an extended leave. So they decide to be a stay-at-home mom for a while or for some other circumstance. They end up being out of work longer than they had planned.
We really like to talk about what you can do in that time to keep your skills fresh, to keep your brain sharp, and so that you don’t get stuck in that rutt of telling people at parties, oh, I’m just a mom. So do you have any favorite strategies that you use to help women work through this or any tips or tricks?
[00:27:15] Anne: yeah. I have kind of like a two part, one more like tangible and one more esoteric, but in terms of the tangible answer. So, you know, I, there’s a lot of ways you can do this. continuing to have relationships with your coworkers, I think sometimes people or former coworkers, I think people shy away from it.
There can even if you choose to stay home there can be a lot of grief around that choice and some loss social connections but of the meaning that maybe your work gave to you of what it meant to be a working person. Right, there’s the, it’s. Going back to work is a transition, choosing to stay home and leave the career field is a transition to a big one.
And it can be hard I think to have a try to have a foot in the door And have those complicated feelings and worry what people are thinking of you but if you can kind of have those feelings and still stay connected whether it’s through linkedin and engaging there or Grabbing coffee occasionally as you can with former coworkers.
I think that’s a big thing. volunteering, doing any sort of consulting work is a great way to stay in touch, taking classes or podcasts or reading books on your field of interest, are other great ways. and then I, you know, I would also say kind of just making sure you have time and space for you back to that child care thing.
And maybe that’s a little bit of daydreaming or some career discernment thinking about what you might want to do in the future. Maybe it is just having time to read. said book, um, uninterrupted, but that, that there’s still time for you in there, I think is really important. There’s a, um, newer website called Motherhood Untitled, and I was interviewed for an article on this exact topic actually back in March by then, but it’s, the whole point is women taking career pauses and trying to figure out what’s.
Next and what is it like to be in that pause? Um, so that’s just another good resource for people.
[00:29:12] Susanne: Oh, I just wrote that down. I had how we never heard of that Missy.
[00:29:17] Missy: I know. We’ve got to go check it
out.
[00:29:18] Susanne: know. I’m
[00:29:19] Anne: They, um, I think it’s relatively new. Like I want to say in the past couple of years, um, but I’m not entirely sure when it started. so that’s like the tangible stuff, but the other kind of more esoteric answer I would say is to remember that you are still building skills simply by parenting. So this is one of the big things I do when I’m consulting is helping companies see parenting is.
A essentially leadership class, right? There are so many skills that you are developing as a parent that are applicable to the workplace, and it maybe doesn’t feel like negotiating over whether we cut the grilled cheese into squares or triangles with our three year old is a workplace skill, and yet it takes patience, communication, emotional regulation, right?
I, I like to say there are kind of three categories that I put skills in, like you’re developing people skills, right? empathy, teamwork, emotional intelligence. Communication, right? All of those soft skills that we talk about being incredibly valuable in the workplace. You’re also developing a lot of productivity and hard work, right?
You have to have tenacity. You have to be a problem solver. You’re usually pretty efficient because you don’t have time to waste as a parent. Um, you have to prioritize and make quick decisions. And so you’ve got that chunk. And then you’ve got that, you know, that big picture thinking, that mental load piece, right?
Anticipating needs, getting creative, multitasking, managing projects, right? even like going on a trip to the beach, right, we’re coming to the end of the summer, that requires planning ahead, figuring out what’s going to be needed while you’re going, managing meltdowns of sandy wet children on the other side of it, physically carrying a lot of stuff back to the car, you know, making decisions around who’s going to eat when, watching the sunscreen, whether you need to reapply it, right, all of that feels like, ugh, I’m just in the thick of it, but really, That’s what project management is, right?
Like you are looking at the needs of the organization, in this case your family, you’re kind of following a lot of the, metrics, right? Around time, hunger level, you’re regulating your own feelings this entire time, will other people around you have big feelings? These are work skills, they’re really, really important work skills that not everybody has, and so if you’re in a pause to remember that like, It’s hard to have the line on your resume, but you’re also still really building important things that you can get creative about, calling on or naming when you, when and if you do decide you want to go back into the world of work.
[00:31:58] Susanne: I love that. That reminds me of Zippy Owens. Remember she was talking about how like no experience is wasted. It’s just like whatever the job is, whatever the role is, whatever it is that you’re doing. As long as you are not just hold up in your room, you’re doing something, or maybe sometimes even when you’re holed up in your room, you’re doing something, um, and, and you can put that for your experience, for a career moving forward, or just to make your life more interesting in the meantime, even if you don’t end up using it for a career, but now, as someone who has recently reentered the workforce, I would love a couple of tips on, I, I’m kind of past the shock to the systems.
side of it, but it definitely was, um, in a good way, in a very exciting way. and it was kind of, it did kind of sneak up on me, even though we’ve been doing a podcast about this for three years. the fact that like, I had just kind of put some, like. Oh, it’d be kind of fun to see what’s out there.
And then I got the job and then it was pretty quick. Um, so as much as we talk about preparing for it, I, I had not prepared myself for it. And even the sense of, like, division of labor around the house, we’re still working on that. So, like, what are some tips for making sure we are prepared for when we are committing our time to something outside of the home, or we’re reentering the workforce.
[00:33:12] Anne: Yeah, I mean, I think to echo something I said earlier, right, lots and lots of self compassion, first of all, because it is a huge transition for the entire family system. And so just being able to hold that like, we’re going to mess this up and we’re totally going to forget things and drop the ball and and that’s okay.
And I would say, get more help than you need. And, and honestly, that’s the same advice I tell parents when they are going back after six weeks or 16 years, right? Of, it’s always fine to not use the help, but maybe get it anyway, right? And maybe that help, when you’re going back with older kids, is enlisting the kids to help, if they’re old enough, right?
And having a conversation with them about what lights you up about this new job, and why you’re going back to it, and why it’s so exciting for you. And that maybe they’re going to have to help with dinner or dishes or whatever and kind of what that might look like it might also be things like, you know, again, similar to what you think about with leave.
before I go back, do I get a bunch of freezer meals and have them stashed? Do I tell my friends and family I’m doing this and ask for them to bring me freezer meals, right? Like, I’m having a new baby in a way of work. And so, who around me can kind of support that transition in a way?
And like, you know, maybe you don’t need a night nanny anymore, but you might need extra meals or extra rides for your kids places. and to know that like, when you inevitably, like you said, you know, I, we don’t have it all figured out into the division of labor yet, but that’s okay. Right. It’s a learning process.
I always say to my kids, mistakes mean you’re learning, right? Like, I forget to sign a kid up for an activity. I have, you know, forgotten to get the right school supplies. Like, I’m going to do this stuff. I’m still a good mom. I’ve, Messed up and scheduled a patient when I couldn’t actually see them and had to move them at the last minute.
Still a good therapist, right? Like, I make mistakes, and I learn from them and try not to make the same one again. And we’re gonna, as you do this transition, you’re gonna try some things that end up not fitting and not working, and you’re gonna say, oh, that’s a disaster. But to try to read it as, that didn’t work, as opposed to, well, I can’t do this.
Or I’m failing here. Or this is, this means I shouldn’t have gone back in the first place. No, no, no. You had a night or a week where the wheels fell off the cart. Okay, we’ll try something else next time.
[00:35:32] Missy: That’s an important distinction between I messed this up and I am just a mess. all make mistakes. I allow everybody in my life to make mistakes except for myself. And then I really am hard on myself when I. Schedule something at the wrong time or forget to order the yearbook, for example. I don’t know any moms who did that last year.
Like when those things happen, I am really hard on myself.
[00:35:54] Susanne: I just discovered that I didn’t order class photos for either of my kids for like three or four good years in grade school. So now I’m like hunting down the teachers and being like, certainly you must have one I could scan. But yes, oh, I love that distinction. That’s going on our pillow, Missy.
[00:36:12] Missy: Yes. Every, every episode we have a thing. That’s like, we want it tattooed on our forehead or needle pointed on a pillow. That is a needle point moment
[00:36:20] Susanne: yeah.
Yeah.
[00:36:21] Missy: Yeah. Well, we’re close on time. We’re running. I just looked at the clock, but we want to hear about your working mother’s lifeline group. They’re
[00:36:29] Anne: Yeah. I’m
[00:36:31] Missy: run out of time.
[00:36:32] Anne: Thank you. I’m super excited about it. Um, you know, primarily I do one on one work but I’ve discovered, you know, I think one of the things that’s so important for moms is that sense of community, right? And connecting with other moms so that you realize, oh, no one has this figured out. It truly isn’t just me.
And we have baby groups, right, for new moms, but we don’t have them for a lot of the rest of motherhood. and and I think particularly it can be hard for moms that are working and again, whether that’s part time or full time because you Have just that one more thing that maybe takes you away from being able to volunteer at your kid’s school or meet other moms Right your co workers aren’t inherently other moms so i’m starting a group in january.
So in the in the new year, Uh, small group, you know, 10 to 12 women, all working mothers. And the idea is we’ll do some group coaching. So we’re gonna, I’m looking for women who want to feel more connected to themselves, more intentional in their choices. They want to feel proactive and present and balanced in their lives and less guilty and less uncertain.
And we’ll do work around values and limiting beliefs. We’ll do some work around guilt and shame and perfectionism. We’ll talk about boundaries and communication. And we’ll do it all with a bunch of women that get it and are struggling with the same things. and it’ll run for six months. And so if people are interested, they can check that out on my website.
[00:37:50] Susanne: Oh, wow.
[00:37:51] Missy: You saying
[00:37:52] Susanne: I know. Okay. I’m very
[00:37:54] Missy: I’m like, Susanne, you need to,
[00:37:55] Susanne: You know, how many slots are there again? I don’t know, the last time I signed up for one of our, our guest sessions, I ended up getting a job. That was,
[00:38:05] Missy: right. Great. Yeah.
[00:38:07] Susanne: so who knows how transformative this could be.
[00:38:11] Missy: Oh, well tell us your website address before
[00:38:18] Missy: Okay. We will put it in the show notes as well,
[00:38:21] Anne: Amazing.
[00:38:22] Missy: because I imagine we have a lot of listeners who might be interested in that
mastermind.
[00:38:26] Susanne: who wouldn’t be? I mean, every, I was feeling a little ping, ping, ping, every single thing that you talked about, like, I need that. I need that. I need that. So, yeah, I’m sure we’re not the only ones.
[00:38:34] Missy: Yeah. It’s awesome. Well, we’re right about that time. We’re going to do look, listen, learns, and if anybody’s listening for the first time, we’re so glad you’re here and we hope you will come back and every show we spend a few minutes just talking about things we might be reading, watching, listening to products we’ve found, whatever it is in our life that we are look, listening, learning, and we never put our guests on the hot seat.
So Susanne, you are up first today. What are you look, listening and learning this week?
[00:38:58] Susanne: Let’s see. I was listening to, I love the Good Life Project podcast. So
good,
and I actually, it’s interesting because I did not, I was not really intrigued by the title of this. It was how to live longer and feel more alive. And I was like, Oh gosh, what’s this going to be? I just, they need to have a new title.
but it’s this Dan I’m going to say the name, Bootener, Bootener, B U E T E N E R. Um, and it’s funny, the night before I had just seen like a preview on Netflix for this series, I think it’s four parts, called The Blue Zone, which is all about, certain geographies throughout the world, and it may just be like, One square block in this one neighborhood or whatever, or little island regions in Italy, where people do all kinds of good things, where people are just super healthy, mentally, physically, and they have longer lives, happier lives, less dementia, like all these amazing things.
So he’s spent, God, I think 20 years. Trying to narrow down some of the commonalities between these groups and, uh, not surprisingly, plant based diet, walkable neighborhoods, which part of me is like, well, yeah, of course, that sounds amazing. But like, how many people actually have, I don’t know. I was getting kind of frustrated because so much of it was like also very privileged viewpoint.
Um, the fact that, you know, to have the ability to do have an affordable plant based diet and not fast food, like our whole society is built around the idea of making people think that they only have the time to go through fast food, that type of thing. So that’s a, that’s a hard thing to break walkable neighborhoods.
Yes. That’s amazing. Um, I’ve lived in very. Close to walkable neighborhoods. They’re just not walkable enough that it justifies getting in a car So, I mean, I don’t think that every region goes for that But I agree that that’s amazing as I was listening to it as like, oh, I need to go pick up a prescription at Walgreens I would usually get in my car and drive there, but it’s only like three blocks away So I I walk there so it is a little bit of a shift of like yeah, I can do that And then also the idea of regular connection With at least four more people on a regular basis, people who like legit have your back and that you can count on not just for people who, you go out drinking with or whatever that you may not know very well.
and also this idea of having a sense of purpose. So, uh, the podcast was really good enough that it makes me want to go. watched the Blue Zone on Netflix, although I’m so bad, I wanted to, like, finish my bottle of wine that I had in the fridge first, and also finish some cookies and stuff that my mom brought, because I was like, I know I’m gonna
[00:41:39] Missy: After I watch this, I won’t want them.
[00:41:42] Susanne: know, because you know me.
I’m gonna watch this show and be like, alright, all the meat is gone, no more wine, and blah blah blah. So. I wanted to finish my bottle of Chardonnay before I watch this show.
I should finish it while I’m watching this show. Uh, let’s see here. And then also I’ve been watching, uh, the Bake Off, the Professionals, which is like, it’s like the British Bake Off show, but it’s inside the building.
Instead of in the tent in the yard, it’s inside the building, which is kind of interesting because it’s small, the kitchen’s smaller. So they’re doing like six. People that they get down to a group of three, and then they have another group of six that gets down to three, and then they put those two threes.
Um, and so that has been very interesting. They have different hosts and different judges, which I just haven’t quite gotten the groove with yet. I don’t know. I don’t know. I like the other ones better. But, it’s very interesting because these are the professionals, not just the chef enthusiast kind of people.
But man, their stuff breaks a lot. I feel like… I feel like the amateurs, maybe, I don’t know, Chris insists, he’s like, I think they have more layers of creams and stuff that, so probably,
[00:42:53] Missy: They’re just trying to do such crazy things with food. Of course it breaks. Like,
[00:42:57] Susanne: every episode something is crashing and getting destroyed. And so I’m like, I thought you were pros, but anyway, that’s been fun to watch. and from watching that, I also learned where sesame seeds came from because last night they had a challenge with sesame seeds and both my husband and I just like looked at each other like.
Where do sesame seeds come from? I’ve never even thought about it. And they come out of a pot. It kind of looks like a little jalapeno. And I’ve done way too much research on sesame seeds. They’re very healthy. So, there you go. That is what I have learned. What about you, Ann? Have you been looking, learning anything?
[00:43:33] Anne: Yeah. I, um, so let’s see for look, I just finished. I was kind of reading two books simultaneously, but I finished, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, which.
[00:43:42] Susanne: good.
[00:43:42] Anne: was very good and not what I kind of expected. I, I don’t know if anybody else, maybe this is just a me thing, I am part of the like a Facebook group that’s the Peloton Moms Book Club.
So it’s like thousands of women, and they post all the time about different books they’re reading. And so I just like anytime a book pops up, I put it in my like Libby app as a hold
request. And then it just sends me a book, and I just read whatever comes up next. And so sometimes it’s books that like, I didn’t expect to like as much as I did, which is this one.
Um, so I really enjoyed that. And then I also just finished, Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi. She wrote Homegoing a couple years ago, which I loved. This one was a little different, but I did enjoy it and it’s about a Ghanaian immigrant family and the two children one ends up dying from a oxy overdose and one goes on to study neuroscience and do research on addictions and so it’s like interesting from the biological perspective as well as like the family story. Um, so those were both good. I would definitely recommend, for listening. I, uh, I’ve been stuck on Boy Genius all summer, which is a kind of a indie super group where they, a couple indie musicians have all gotten together. And, uh, it’s, it’s a vibe. It’s definitely like a certain music, but I’ve really enjoyed them most of the summer.
Um,
[00:45:00] Missy: I have to look that
[00:45:01] Susanne: I know I’m gonna I’ve I feel like I’ve heard of that. So maybe Zoe or someone had someone cooler than me had them in their mix because it sounds kind of familiar.
[00:45:09] Anne: enough.
[00:45:09] Missy: I’m always looking for new stuff.
[00:45:10] Anne: Yeah, this song Strong Enough is my favorite. I think that’s probably the most popular one that they
[00:45:15] Susanne: Okay. I’m looking it up.
[00:45:16] Anne: Um, and then for learning right now, I’ve kind of, I’m almost always listening to a book on tape around leadership or psychology or something, you know, kind of a work related book. but right now I have kind of just begun with music because I’m trying to learn the ropes of being a parent of a high schooler because my oldest is starting high school and As I, you know, living when I practiced, I already messed up.
I, we, we planned a vacation this past week and I didn’t know there would be high school orientation. So we had to change our high school, or our plan to come back for orientation for a day and then leave again, which is fine. We were close by, but, um, I was like, all right, I think there’s going to probably be a lot of newness thrown at me in the next couple of weeks and I’ll let that be my learning for the time being.
[00:45:58] Susanne: oh, yeah, well, I
booked I booked our ACL Austin city limits tickets for the weekend of my daughter’s. She just started college her parents weekend at college.
[00:46:10] Anne: you go.
[00:46:11] Susanne: So, yes, I’m familiar with the idea of not checking schedules 1st and.
[00:46:15] Missy: There’s just too many schedules to keep track of.
[00:46:17] Susanne: Oh my gosh. And I think by the time this airs, ACL will be over. But if anybody has any weekend, uh, one tickets they want to swap for some weekend two tickets, they’ll be really excited. Okay, Missy, what about you? What do you look with and learn in?
[00:46:30] Missy: Okay. Let’s see. Well, I have been looking at the split. I’m watching it on Hulu. It’s a British show and it’s about a family of divorce lawyers who all have their own relationship stuff going on. and just a really lovely cast. Of course, it’s British shows have the best actors.
[00:46:46] Susanne: Oh, okay. I was wondering if it was like a documentary or if it was a, it’s a
[00:46:50] Missy: No, no, it’s yes. Yeah. Yeah. And like three seasons. Maybe that’s the other thing I love about British shows for the most part, unless we’re talking like Dr. Who for the most part, you’re not in for just years of commitment. Like it’s a little bit six to eight episodes a season and you know, and then you’re done.
I like that. Um, So I am enjoying that highly recommend it and I’m listening to Demon Copperhead, which has been a look, listen, learn of previous guests, I
[00:47:18] Susanne: me, I’d love that one.
[00:47:20] Missy: okay, I didn’t remember you. I was trying to remember if you had read it, um,
[00:47:24] Susanne: know, I go through so many books sometimes that I forget to mention some of them, but that one was one I really enjoyed.
[00:47:29] Missy: Yeah, it’s a long listen, like, you know, 20 something hours, not quite as long as the one you just
[00:47:34] Susanne: Oh my gosh, what was the one I just listened to? The water, the something of water.
[00:47:40] Missy: It’s like 30 something
[00:47:41] Susanne: it was 30 hours of water. Now I have to look it up on my phone.
[00:47:46] Missy: Yeah. I can’t look at how long they are. It discourages me. Not like I don’t have to do anything but passively listen, but I’m like, Oh, that’s a lot of hours.
Um,
[00:47:54] Susanne: of water, which I also do highly recommend, but whoo, build some time or listen to it at one and a half speed. I don’t know.
[00:48:01] Missy: Yeah. Demon Copperhead. I don’t, I’m having trouble listening with it sped up. Like I missed some of the nuances, I think,
[00:48:08] Susanne: Well, cause he does that accent.
[00:48:10] Missy: it’s yes, it is quite the thick
[00:48:12] Susanne: kind of disturbing because I don’t think it is his accent. Haha.
[00:48:15] Missy: Right, right. So, okay, I’m leaning over to get my, my learn. I just learned about these. These are Kizzik shoes
[00:48:24] Susanne: Look how cute those
[00:48:26] Missy: Z I K. Aren’t they so cute? Um, little lavender shoes, but they, you don’t actually ever do anything with the laces, the tongue, nothing. You just step right in them and go,
[00:48:37] Susanne: Were those from a Facebook ad? I’ve seen, I’ve seen those on Facebook ads.
[00:48:40] Missy: Oh, I don’t know.
A friend of mine mentioned them because I, by the time this we’re listening to this, I will be past this phase, I hope, but I won’t have a lot of range of motion for a little while after surgery and things like putting on my shoes is going to be difficult. So a friend of mine said, you need these. And I, of course.
Since I’ve been buying all the things lately, I was like, yes, I will order those, but I love them. They’re comfy and they’re cute. They have a million different styles and, they’re great. We’ve, my family’s been making fun of me. Cause I’m like, look at me put on my shoes with no hands. They’re like, you sound like a toddler,
[00:49:10] Susanne: Oh! I’m going to tell my friend Allison about those or any, uh, pregnant mothers out there who are having a hard time touching your toes and your feet. That’s a really great idea.
[00:49:20] Missy: slip and go
[00:49:21] Susanne: Yeah. I had a pair of those Converse, what are those, the Chukets or whatever, but they were like a slip on ones, and that’s all I wore my entire pregnancy with my son.
Like, that was it.
[00:49:32] Missy: I got big shoes. Like they were size or two, too big, you know? So I could just like clump my swollen feet and then, you know,
[00:49:39] Susanne: Well, I had to wear shoes. I couldn’t wear sandals. I had to wear shoes because I had to wear those dang thigh high compression stockings. So not only did I have to wear shoes, I had to wear like, well, I didn’t have to, I made the choice because those things do not make your legs look natural. It’s not like pantyhose.
Oh my gosh, luckily I was pregnant with both my kids in Seattle. If I had to do that in Texas, I would move. I would literally just pack all my bags and move, so. Oh, well, that’s a great tip. I’m going to check those out for myself, just out of pure laziness, not wanting
[00:50:12] Missy: I mean, yeah, you don’t have to have like mobility issues to like them. They’re great. And they’re good for those quick. Like I just got to run outside and get something real quick and pop your shoes on.
[00:50:20] Susanne: very cool.
[00:50:22] Missy: All right. Well, thank you so much. And this was great.
[00:50:26] Anne: I had a great time. Thanks for having me.
[00:50:28] Susanne: okay. Say your website again, just for everybody so they can go, uh,
[00:50:31] Anne: www.drannwelsh.com and they can also find me at Dr. Ann Welsh on LinkedIn or, Dr. Dot, uh, Welsh Do coaching on Instagram.
[00:50:42] Susanne: Alright, terrific. Well, thank you so much. Such a pleasure to meet you. So much great information.
Look at, well, these are messy. I took a lot of notes. Look at me. That’s a good sign when I’m like, we always joke when we take notes, it’s serious because you know, we listened to this again, like 300 times while we’re editing it and doing show notes and stuff. But if we have to take notes on the spot, that means
That’s when you’re like, I really
[00:51:05] Missy: do not
[00:51:05] Susanne: stuff. Yeah. So thank you. Really appreciate your time today and happy Labor Day.
[00:51:11] Anne: Thank you. You as well. Bye.
[00:51:13] Susanne: All
[00:51:13] Missy: for being here on your holiday.
[00:51:15] Susanne: Yes.
All
right. Have a great week, everybody.
Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show today. And if you know someone else who could benefit from today’s episode, be sure to share it with them. Also, please subscribe and rate us wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in the show notes over at our website, momandpodcast.
com with the A N D spelled out. In between shows, you can find us at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group. You can find links to the group.
Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you so much. Now go out there and make your ellipses count.
Freelancing & Upskilling with Emily A. Hay
Feb 01, 2024
January 25, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 133 / Guest: Emily A. Hay
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Show Summary:
In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens discuss various aspects of motherhood, juggling work and family, and high school parenting with their guest, Emily A. Hay, a passionate advocate for flexible work opportunities for women. Emily, a relentless creator of flexible job opportunities for women shares her vision behind her business Hay There Social Media, her journey towards being self-employed, and her insight on how freelancing and upskilling can be empowering. The discussion also emphasizes the importance of regular health check-ups, narrating a personal experience of a timely diagnosed health issue.
Looking for the link to 20% off and Free Shipping on Upskilling in a Box? Click here and use the code: haytheremomand
Topics From This Episode:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:03 Meet the Hosts: Susanne and Missy
00:58 Introducing the Guest: Emily Hay
02:21 Emily’s Journey into Freelancing
04:55 The Benefits and Challenges of Freelancing
05:18 Understanding the Freelancing Terminology
09:49 The Importance of Upskilling
14:12 Exploring Social Media Management as a Freelance Career
30:45 Exploring Social Media Courses
31:13 The Importance of Training in Social Media
32:08 Exploring Job Opportunities in Social Media
34:16 The Value of Upskilling and Building Relationships
Learning about mattress toppers for college dorm rooms (you really just have to listen), and also making sure you are prepared for the moment you go viral on social media
Emily A. Hay is a relentless creator of flexible work opportunities for women since 2010. She lives smack dab in what she has dubbed “Work+Life Integration Nation.”
After the early part of her sales career in corporate America, she paved her own way by using social media as her vehicle. For nine years, Emily has led Hay There Social Media, a business she founded that delivers social media marketing services.
Like most women, Emily was challenged by early motherhood. By staying organized and proactive, she began to revel in the small daily victories all moms celebrate to get the fulfillment we all crave.
Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
[00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count.You know, all the little dot, dot, dots that come after I’m a mom and. I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, LGBTQ, and sex ed advocate. And this week, a mom adjusting to life after college drop off. She’s, she has flown away. My little birdie, she’s in She’s in a much better place where it is not 104 degrees.Are we all so jealous? Well, I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate. And this week trying to remember that I have two high schoolers. I literally keep forgetting that the youngest is in high school. We’ll be talking about things. And in my mind, he is mentally still in middle school, but he’s a freshman and it doesn’t seem real, but it’s awesome.Oh my gosh. They’re growing up our [00:01:16] Missy: I know. I know.[00:01:18] Susanne: Oh, and this week we are so excited. Our guest is Emily Hay and Emily is a relentless creator of flexible work opportunities for women since 2010. She lives smack dab in what she has dubbed work plus life integration nation, which as a newly employed woman, I am.Feeling in a very big way. We’re going to be talking [00:01:40] Missy: bet you are. [00:01:41] Susanne: But after the early part of her sales career in corporate America, she paved her own way by using social media as her vehicle. And for nine years, Emily has led, Hey there, social media, a business she founded that delivers social media marketing services.Like most women, Emily was challenged by early motherhood, but by staying organized and proactive, she began to revel in the small daily victories that all moms celebrate to get the fulfillment that we all crave, which leads us to living work plus life integration nation, which we’ll get to you in a minute, but first welcome.We’re so glad you’re here. I[00:02:17] Emily: Thank you. Hey there, ladies. It’s awesome to be here.[00:02:20] Susanne: like, Hey there. Hey there.[00:02:22] Missy: it. I love it. Well, we’re excited. You’re here. We’re excited to see you, even if it’s only virtual. We met you briefly at the mom 2. 0 summit, which so many of our guests we have met that way. It’s an amazing opportunity. If anybody’s thinking about going and we were so fortunate that we just happened to sit down at the same table where you were[00:02:40] Emily: know. That was so great.[00:02:42] Missy: It was fantastic. So we would love if you could share a little more about your bio, kind of an Emily 1 0 1 on snapshot of your career in life and how you got to where you are now.[00:02:53] Emily: Sure. Thank you again, ladies. I’m so excited to be here. I am certainly a mom and dot, dot, dot, uh, wife, entrepreneur, small business owner, as you said, you know, relentless creator of flexible job opportunities for women. That is certainly my thing. uh, in, in a nutshell, I. I grew up with two working parents.I feel like I always understood that, that my household economics relied on my mom’s income. I also knew that my mom never really appreciated that. She had a very rigid work schedule, and so I felt like someday if I could figure out how to have flexibility, then I would be doing better for my family than she felt she did.So it really lit that entrepreneurial fire for me. Um, went to school for marketing, got a job in sales, learned a little bit about corporate America, and then it was really becoming a social media freelancer, you know, social media marketing person, um, around 2009. That was my entry into the entrepreneurial highway.And fast forward a decade after being a mom and a business owner. My company took a pivot just before the pandemic, where we really said, okay, we understand how to do this, this social media marketing thing, you know, for small business owners, they are clients. And what do you know? I got the ability to work flexibly.And so how can I take that and teach it to other women, primarily moms all across the country that are looking for a flexible way to work[00:04:19] Missy: Awesome.[00:04:20] Susanne: it. Yeah. [00:04:21] Emily: that in a nutshell, did that cover it?[00:04:22] Susanne: That really, that really does and social media freelancing is actually how I got back into the workforce a few years ago. it’s so funny to think that I was paid to be a social media expert because now there’s been so many advancements, even in the past 4 years that I feel like I was a pro back then, but now I’m, I’m still catching up.Um, but. But I was able to do that once my second kiddo started school. so I really love that idea that you say that when you freelance you don’t have a resume gap. Because I felt that way as I was applying for my current job that I’m doing. That, you know, I feel like it’s a get because I have not had a job where I’m like going into an office or that is a traditional, you know, nine to five type job, but when I really looked at it on my resume, I was like, Oh, okay.Yeah, this, this doesn’t look so bad. No wonder. I feel like I’m ready to do this. So, for some moms that may have some free time now that are considering, you know, the kids are going back to school right now and they’re thinking, I want to do something, but I don’t quite know what. Can you explain what freelancing means?I think a lot of us think of freelance writers and stuff and don’t know what that means as a day to day job. So what, can you explain that a little bit?[00:05:40] Emily: sure. And that’s, that’s so wild to hear just how personal it is with you, you know, that it resonates personally that term. And I think we are at a point where we all know that words do matter. And, um, you know, I, I did a post on LinkedIn not too long ago where I said, okay, So let’s unpack this. If you are an entrepreneur, you are self employed.If you are a freelance professional, you are self employed. So is an entrepreneur the same as a freelancer? If you are a freelancer, do you call yourself an entrepreneur? Just this whole, like, I was literally asking folks on LinkedIn, like, how would you describe yourself? And even though I have been a self employed professional for over a decade, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a conversation with someone when they say, what do you do that?I said, I’m an entrepreneur. I just felt comfort and well, I, you know, I, I, I do work freelance, you know, I have a freelance agency, but the funny thing is that that Susanne Messy is that for the longest time I never led with freelance. I was, I was scared that it was, you know, inferior, um, or would show that I wasn’t a real, you know, air quote, a real entrepreneur.So I have over the last. I don’t know, six, eight months just enjoyed just doing my own, you know, studying of how people respond to that term. And I do have people say things like, oh, well, I did think freelance was just. Photographers or just writers. I prefer consultant. So and I feel like consultant sits well with a lot of folks that have a strong corporate background.They go out on their own and they might not say I’m an entrepreneur. They certainly won’t say they’re a freelancer, but they’ll say like I’m a consultant. And so I’m just going through these terms because it’s something that for the longest time I really hid and I Always worked from home and as a social media freelance professional, I had a team, but they were contractors.They were also freelancers. And so I really liked the term of boutique agency and that’s how I would describe, Hey there for the longest time. But now it’s. We’ve got this tailwind right of the future of work and freelancing is no longer, just the minority it’s mainstream and businesses are seeing the benefit of freelancing.So I’m really trying to lean into, you know, what it means to freelance and back to your original point when you are freelancing. You are actively working. You are not plagued by that resume gap. I know I’m probably oversimplifying, but freelance work is an active working experience that can really remove that that stigma[00:08:09] Missy: it’s, I love that distinction And I want to talk a little bit also about what are some of the other benefits? So you have this, whatever you call it, if you’re freelancing, what are the benefits this really offers moms who are looking for that flexibility? Like most of us are.[00:08:24] Emily: Sure, and that’s another reason why I feel like freelance is just a great term you get that flexibility you get that professional fulfillment, hopefully financial gain is also part of that. So when when you’re doing freelance work, I mean that can. That can give you the flexibility of taking on as many or as few project as you would like.and that can be something where you might tie that to a number of hours per week that you’d like to work. or you could tie it to, you know, Hey, I’m really looking to make at least X per month. And you don’t necessarily say how many clients that equates to or, um, hours. I mean, there are certainly projects out there and I feel like we could have a whole episode about this, but just the whole model of.Billing for a value exchange, not necessarily an hourly sort of exchange. Um, so it can give you that flexibility of just amount of time. you can hit certain revenue thresholds. my, my business partner and I, we did do an article for fast company, um, not too long ago, where as much of a freelance advocate as I am, there are certainly.dangers in telling someone to air quote, you know, just go freelance because it sounds so easy. Like all you need is a laptop and a wifi connection. You should be earning it like that. And it’s, it’s not like that. So the last thing I want to do is just make it sound like it is literally open your laptop and head to, you know, Upwork and you’re.Boom, you’re earning all the money you could possibly make, but it is just such an empowering way to start with the skills that you have and then start to see, well, I have a marketing sales background, but I’m seeing a lot of jobs for social media marketers or people that, you know, are looking for specific business development roles that are flexible.and then you can, you know, get further into those sorts of specialties.[00:10:05] Susanne: Yeah, as someone who recently was going through a lot of, job listings and looking through and seeing what was available out there. I certainly did see a ton of social media, you know, manager type positions out there. So they’re definitely.I think that’s I think that’s a really good point. But what I have just realized in the past month or so is I’m really getting into the groove of working again is that freelancing or contracting or whatever we’re calling it is. Really helping one of my quirky personality work personality traits is that I will just give it all like I will just work.I will work until like I either of my husband drags me away from the computer or whatever. I just, I’ve learned that about me interviewing coaches over the past three years and identifying what are those work traits that I have that I need to be able to build boundaries around or just even understand and be aware of.But I have also discovered that when I have a certain number of hours that I am contracted to work on a client for, if I’m like, okay, I’m going to be working on them for 15 hours. one of my other quirks is that I would never do anything to like waste my client’s money or to not be really good stewards of their resources.And so those two things balance off each other so well because I’m like, okay, I have 15 hours and it keeps me the Suzanne me that wants to like work instead 50 hours for them to be like, no, I can’t do that because that would. Go over their budget or whatever the case or not to be the best use of their money.So it’s been this really great kind of the bookends of the two sides of Suzanne that could go out of control in a regular full time job where I’m not really thinking about things on an hour to hour basis. And I’m just like, Oh, this, this is what, makes sense. Like if I thought about going back full time, I think I would be at that risk of, I can already feel it where I’d be like, I’ll just put one more hour in on this.I could, I could really. You know, I could really button it up if I put one more hour, um, so anyway, if you feel yourself or you recognize that you have similar traits, think about the positive side from that aspect as well. I found it really beneficial.[00:12:30] Emily: Got it. It gives you some guardrails.[00:12:32] Susanne: I, yes, and I need them.[00:12:35] Missy: Yeah,[00:12:36] Emily: I, I think that’s a great point. I also will say, you know, maybe with the caveat of not, Oh, just overextend yourself to the point of, you know, having no boundary, but if as a freelancer, you do go maybe over an hour or you just give it a little extra oomph, I feel like those are the intangibles that keep your clients happy.It just shows you’re an extra miler. It just, I think lends itself to having the same clients for a long time. And that’s something that I’ve always. You know, we really do advocate like it, the old adage, like it’s harder to get a new customer than to just keep your current one. So, you can be rewarded by being, you know, the extra miler even within freelance parameters.[00:13:16] Susanne: Yes.[00:13:16] Missy: Yeah, sure[00:13:18] Susanne: But I, so as I do know personally now that one of the scary parts of freelancing can be that you are giving up benefits. I did not have any benefits to start with because I was just, I was just volunteering my hours away. but especially health insurance. That is a big one. So what. Other things, aside from the obviously health insurance, should people be thinking of if they are coming from a full time job where they have all these benefits, if they’re thinking of streamlining things, going, freelance that.They need to make sure that they’re having those conversations with their partner or with themselves and their bank account and what does that look like?[00:13:56] Emily: Sure. Yeah. So I, I would say one of the pitfalls of being a freelance professional, or again, an entrepreneur, is it can be a lonely sport. I mean, anytime, you know, you maybe work from home, you know, the coffee shop life, all of that, that’s so in vogue and normal right now. Well, that can get tiresome.I mean, to miss the camaraderie, the ability to bounce things off of people, um, where you offset that is, The blessings of 2023 that we live in this virtual world where they’re all there are plenty of online communities. that’s one of the things that we have built into our foundation is, is no lonely freelancers like it just to be able to talk pricing or how you would handle a situation with a client.I think that’s at least worth mentioning because it is so empowering to think, Oh, I just need the knowledge I have and I can just name my price and I can get right to work. Well, yeah. Sometimes it can be quite lonely.[00:14:46] Missy: that is something to think about and another nuts and bolts thing that it’s always hard for me I really stunk at it when I was having to do it on a regular basis is taxes So you have to set part of your paycheck aside and you have to pay them at a certain time. So for other moms who are listening and thinking, I’m going to DIY my way through this part of the financial side of it.What do you recommend? Are there resources, groups, books that can help them so that they don’t make that mistake of like, whoops, I forgot to pay my taxes [00:15:16] Susanne: Yeah, and what percent [00:15:17] Missy: a whole lot. Yeah,[00:15:19] Emily: Yeah. I mean, you, you’re, you are certainly bringing up from benefits to, to taxes. I mean, obviously these are important factors that go into being a, being a freelance professional and enjoying it. and not feeling like it just isn’t worth it to have all of those things. So I am not a tax professional.What I will say is I truly enjoyed learning about fractional CFOs, you know, just the term fractional. I remember going down this rabbit hole on LinkedIn or just looking up. Well, I. I’ve had an accountant before. I’ve even had a bookkeeper before, but I’ve never had someone help my business in a CFO type role.And so here we are in this, you know, air quotes again, gig economy, um, where there are, there are professionals that you could never afford as a freelance professional to be a CFO, um, on your staff, but you can leverage someone that’s a fractional professional in that space. I listened to all kinds of podcasts.by by tax professionals, and then you find out that they have a bookkeeping business. and again, I’m used to charging monthly retainers and working in that capacity. So, it certainly aligns to hire a fellow entrepreneur that can offer some of that advice. So I hate to disappoint Missy and say that I am not your expert, your go to person on the tax side of things.But that is that is certainly a prudent thing to keep in mind.[00:16:33] Missy: Yeah.[00:16:33] Susanne: Oh I[00:16:34] Missy: Yeah, I lovethis term fractional CFO. I’ve never, I’ve never heard it called[00:16:39] Emily: good. Oh, now you’ll see it everywhere.[00:16:41] Susanne: Oh, my [00:16:41] Missy: see it everywhere and it just brings up a great point and it’s something we talk about a lot. We all need other people, whether it’s a coach to help you get going or a professional who knows something more about whatever it is you’re trying to do.None of us have all the pieces of every puzzle. So there’s no shame in reaching out and getting help. And if it’s, I don’t know how to do the financial side, or I don’t know how to structure benefits or what to do if I don’t have corporate benefits, like go find somebody who does know.[00:17:13] Susanne: Oh, Missy. Actually, I needed to really hear that because we are, I mean, I am getting paid as not our LLC. Missy and I have an LLC together. She’s in my will, but we, uh, but my husband and I have, well, he has a couple of LLCs, but we have one that I’m actually getting paid through. So like when I bill the agency that I am doing freelance work for or contract work for, I am billing them as. Um, and so I’m sure there’s all kinds of other implications for that, that we’re not aware of from a tax standpoint, whatever. So, yes, I’m going to tell my husband. He actually used to be an accountant when I first met him, which [00:17:57] Emily: well,[00:17:58] Susanne: which shocks everybody. He’s what is my husband not done? He’s amazing.Um, but so he knows a little bit of it, but I think maybe we need to, you know, We need to reach out. We need to be vulnerable and ask for help for some of these things.[00:18:10] Emily: sure. And I guess the one thing I will say, again, this is not to be misconstrued as like sweeping this very important topic under the rug, but. As women, I think it’s in our nature to what if ourselves to the point that you never get going. And so I feel like, yeah, so if there is, if you were even interested in taking on one freelance project, do not say to yourself, well, I don’t know the tax implications.I don’t have an LLC. I don’t, what if this nevermind? I just won’t, I won’t nevermind. So there’s my, my little[00:18:42] Susanne: Yes. Because even though I’m doing that for this round, when I was doing freelance work for the social media freelance work several years ago, that was just as Suzanne Kearns, I decided to do it on a Tuesday and I was working on a Wednesday and,[00:18:57] Missy: that[00:18:57] Susanne: and yeah, and, and everything worked out fine. So yeah, just driving home that same point. You don’t necessarily have to. We just happen to have an LLC, so we’re doing it that way. And[00:19:08] Emily: Which is right. Yeah. Me too. Long time LLC holder here. Remember?[00:19:13] Susanne: And also, I am lucky that I happen to be freelancing in a field where I’ve Tons of experience. And so I’m doing advertising, marketing stuff again. but for someone who is interested in doing some freelancing in something that maybe is a new field for them, where do they start dipping their toes into that?Do you have any recommendations?[00:19:34] Emily: Sure. So I, one of the ways that I built my business, was I’m laughing because I’m thinking ahead. I, I looked at a business I wanted to work with and I offered to do their work for free. Like full mic drop where people say, wait, we’re in this era of charging what we’re worth and don’t be taken advantage and don’t give away your skills.You got to get started somewhere and to be able to do the work test what I like test the services. I wanted to do, figure out how the client valued those. Come up with the price point and ultimately be able to walk away with two things out of it. A darn good testimonial, you know, something you can put on your website, something you can put as a LinkedIn recommendation, a willingness to refer other prospective clients back to that person who cares.I’m sorry, I’m probably overcompensating saying who cares if it was a free project like you get a lot of intangibles out of that experience. and then the other part is. That is a portfolio. I mean, people, I think it up in their heads about portfolios being really complicated and needing a lot of time to, to make a portfolio project, but that is simply taking what you did and making it visual, whether you throw it into a PowerPoint or you take some screenshots and a word doc and make it a nice PDF.It’s just something to send to that first perspective client. To justify why you’re billing them or, or proposing a certain fee. So that would be the, the shortest advice I give is do the work you want to do for a duration for the ideal client at no charge in exchange for testimonial.[00:21:08] Susanne: Oh, I love that idea, which I know that is hard because we, especially as writers, like, usually get asked to do things for free or for exposure or that type of thing. But I think if we kind of flip this idea of Like, we encourage moms to do volunteer work to help fill their resume and build those skills.So consider this volunteering for yourself. Like, or, you know, um, so I think that, yeah, as long as you don’t like year after year continue along[00:21:37] Emily: Of[00:21:38] Missy: Right. That’s a, that’s a limited[00:21:39] Susanne: it is, it is a limited engagement.[00:21:41] Missy: Yeah.[00:21:42] Emily: No way. And we’ve seen that happen to Suzanne that And I say, we, you know, the, the women that we train, that we say. If this is a test client, then give a formal proposal, give your price, cross out the fee, say, I am waiving it in exchange for, and this is what I want out of this.And this is what the fee will be after this many weeks or this many months. So having formal parameters around it, no, do not take that as I certainly would never tell someone like, Oh, just do it for free as long as that person’s happy. And yes. So, but I know the advice, trust me, I love empowering women and I never want women to not.Make what they’re worth, but you have to start somewhere, and that can be a good way to do it.[00:22:23] Missy: Right. Well, speaking of building skills, you use the word upskilling a lot. what, what is that? What is that and how do we do it?[00:22:32] Emily: Upskilling, such a fancy, fancy, trendy phrase, right? Well, it’s actually not that trendy. Upskilling is simply acquiring or polishing one’s skills. So whether you work at a company and you are going through an upskilling program, like a formal training program, or if you are heading to free YouTube and watching some videos on the weekends, you know, learning how to do Things on email marketing that you didn’t know before it’s, it’s just acquiring new skills or updating your current skills.And I think that to me, that really makes it less intimidating for a number of reasons. One, not a huge cost or time investment. number two, it isn’t a long term commitment. Like I am now going to study all of these SEO videos with the intent of being an SEO expert forever and ever. Amen. Just[00:23:18] Susanne: it’s funny. You bring up it’s funny. You bring up that topic. Even when I was at an agency, I was like, thank God we have a department that does SEO. I will never.[00:23:26] Missy: SEO does seem like this weird nebulous thing, and just when you think you’ve got it, you find a new video or article that’s like, now this is what you have to do for SEO. And it just, ah,[00:23:38] Susanne: okay, so I digress. Sorry.[00:23:40] Emily: No, no,it’s good. [00:23:41] Susanne: favorite topics to just not [00:23:43] Missy: it’s a hair puller.[00:23:44] Emily: Well, that makes sense. But I mean, think about, I mean, I, I, I study so much, you know, with resume gaps and return to work. And so some of the other prudent advice is if you have a gap in your resume, or you’re looking to change careers or whatever that might be a show that you have done something in the meantime.And if that isn’t freelance work, it can be, I’ve picked up some additional skills. and again, digital era. You can go through LinkedIn learning and get certifications. Like my company offers a certification. There are all kinds of ways to, to show in a formal way, that you have obtained new skills.And it again, speaks to what one has spent doing, with their time. And I don’t know, you know, Suzanne, you talk about being a power volunteer. I mean, I am all for, and love this movement of including all of the. More air quotes soft skills, you know, all of the things that one acquires when they do volunteer work.There’s it’s not like it doesn’t count Just because you were in a volunteer role. So having that on your, on your resume as well, super useful stuff.[00:24:44] Susanne: Yeah, especially knowing how to spin it, but I think you bring up a good point because we were going to say that. mom’s, unfortunately, usually think about upscaling, like the week before they’re going to start a job search. It’s like, or even while they’re doing the job search, like, Oh, it would have been nice if I had done this.So, how can moms then be thinking about that? It’s so. Because, you know, we’re coming here, like, Missy’s got the two in high school. My son, even though he’s still in middle school, is pretty self sufficient. So we, we’re looking at things through a little bit of a different lens right now. It’s like, oh, sure, I’ve got this time in my schedule that I could go take this class or, you know, look at the LinkedIn video, that type of thing.But for those ones that still have the littles running around, who are maybe trying to fit stuff in between nap times and that type of thing, do you have any tips of Would it be like those LinkedIn courses? What type of things that they could be doing to start exploring, upskilling, or learning, even learning about what they want to be learning about?[00:25:41] Emily: Sure. I mean, again, I, I go back to just dabbling in what you might already have skills in. So if you, you know, maybe you consider yourself a visual person and, learning Canva, like I’ve seen so many women just Do amazing things with that tool. before you know it, you learn like, oh, I can make videos on Canva.And then before you know it, you’ve made enough videos on Canva that you say, well, I just read a job description that talked about someone being a video creator. Like just create video content for a social media account. Um, but I, I guess I would just encourage moms of littles and my mine are seven and nine, so I certainly.Still feel in the little camp, but I totally understand. It’s not the sleepless night phase. Um, I feel like I have some bandwidth now. Um, just, just follow your curiosity. And I hear so many women, whether it’s. I never thought I had any skills to freelance or I didn’t know social media manager was a thing like I didn’t I didn’t know those were things.I didn’t know that you could get paid to create content for a brand, just like ad hoc like it paid per per video so I think just going down those rabbit holes and seeing what other people are up to and then it’s a good way to just learn what’s out there. To see your, like, your menu options. And then, um, from there, figure out, Okay, well, if I want to be the video creator, what do I need to know how to do?And how can I go teach myself by playing on Canva?[00:26:59] Missy: Right. Yeah. We love Canva.[00:27:01] Susanne: You’re, you’re not the first person who has recommended Canva as something that people should be spending their time with, because we’ve talked about, oh, you can make your Christmas cards with it. You can do birthday invitations with it, but that is how, when I was doing the, what was the role, like the advertising role of our PTA at the elementary school, that’s when I started playing around with Canva, and it is, it was just for this little volunteer role I was doing, but before I knew it, I was You know, whipping up logos and whipping up, other stuff that we’re doing for my informed parents of Austin group.So, yeah, I did not think I had a creative, like, visual bone in my body, but I was like, Oh, okay. But [00:27:37] Missy: Hannah makes it [00:27:38] Susanne: with a little help from Canva, I can do it too.[00:27:41] Missy: Yeah. And I started doing it the same way through like volunteering and now I do it all the time and love it.[00:27:47] Emily: Well, it’s just a huge part of like, it’s a, it’s a main requirement as a social media manager, right? You’re creating content. So to be able to know how to use a tool like Canva, I feel like our episode, our, your episodes should be, it should be sponsored by[00:28:01] Susanne: I know it should. Hey[00:28:03] Missy: Hello, Canva. We talk about you all the time.[00:28:06] Susanne: can you pay for our membership?[00:28:08] Emily: Yes.[00:28:09] Missy: I want to talk a little bit more about social media management. So, hey, there, social media really focuses on freelancing and social media. But what does that even mean if somebody is listening and they’re like, all I know from social media is that sometimes I post a picture of my kids on Instagram. What does this even mean?[00:28:26] Emily: Thanks, Missy. So that, that’s it. Let’s be honest. We all know how to use social media. It’s just. Becoming confident enough with the skills you have to know that a business will pay you to do that for them. So that’s one of the reasons I love social media manager roles, you know, being a freelance social media manager is because you have the opportunity to work with businesses of all sizes.You can work with the smallest business owner. That’s an author that says, I know I need to be on Instagram. I want to get into this book talk thing on tech talk, but I don’t, I don’t know where to. So that could be a really small scope of work for one author where you’re helping that author with her to, you know, social networks.Um, so being a social media manager, you get to work with small businesses. You can subcontract. That I remember was a big, you know, when you think of like, Your growth, your business growth over the years. That was one of those like big, big jumps for my business when I learned about subcontracting and maybe I was too linear with, um, okay, so businesses will hire me contract me directly, but you mean an agency would contract me to help work on their projects.And this is where I feel like you ladies have had plenty of experience,[00:29:30] Susanne: that’s what I’m doing. That [00:29:32] Emily: Yes, it’s such a cool way to work. So you get to work on bigger projects, maybe bigger budget projects. You get to be a member of a team. So, I mean, jump on in with that, but that is something too, that social media managers are needed to, staff, you know, agencies too.[00:29:47] Susanne: Yeah. I’ll do a little pitch for my agency, Creative Noggin in San Antonio, and they, it was founded by a mom. It has even before COVID, like for the past 10 years, it’s all been virtual. And people are located all over the country and everybody, you know, makes it work via zoom and it’s really nice.It’s primarily cautious at all women. I think it is and mostly moms and, you know, we’ll have our little in out Skype when people are coming in and out and everybody will be like, I got to go pick up my kid at the bus stop. I got to do to do. I’ll be right back. And it’s just so nice that there’s just this.That’s. Yeah. The energy that the whole company is built around is this understanding that there’s dentist appointments, there’s pickups, there’s sick kids, and we have the flexibility around that. So, um, so [00:30:33] Emily: that work life integration.[00:30:36] Susanne: Oh my gosh, let’s see, are we getting close to the, we’re getting so close to the end.[00:30:40] Missy: but we have a little bit more time.[00:30:41] Susanne: We do have a little bit more time. Okay.[00:30:44] Emily: I love chatting with you ladies. Thanks.[00:30:45] Susanne: oh, my gosh, it’s been so much fun. Well, okay, so I do want to, um, for listeners who are thinking that this sounds interesting, but they want to just do a little bit more research for themselves, would love any recommendations that you have there.And then the ones who are ready are like, yeah, I want to jump in and learn more about what hey, their media, social media has, what are those 2 things we can help those listeners with?[00:31:07] Emily: thanks Suzanne. So we, our website, heytheresocialmedia. com and it’s H A Y, um, that you’ll see that we offer two courses. We just launched our, our, upskilling in a box. Um, so this is our light version of our training. We have our signature training that we’ve been offering for a few years, and that is, uh, our more in depth six week program.Won’t make it a total, hey there commercial, but I’m excited about the light version that is literally like just hitting, hitting doorsteps after Labor Day. [00:31:34] Missy: Exciting.[00:31:35] Emily: thank you. I mean, training is very intangible, right? And it’s not always that exciting. So we felt like, how can we make it physical and how can we make it something that You know, you can can literally order and have sent your way.Um, so all the details would be there. But I mean, I am happy if more women see the potential in freelance careers, and it doesn’t have to be the rest of your life, you know, use it to get yourself moving out of a certain season of motherhood, use it as a way to Dabble in projects that you were wondering if you would like, and then you find out and not so much, but you can’t go wrong with social media because of it being such an in demand field.And so even if you use it as, you know, a launch pad into something else or into a more more full time or a part time role at a company, I just see, I see it work every day for women. So I’m obviously, uh, I’m very biased. Um, I, I’m a proponent of it from what I see every day.[00:32:30] Susanne: now I agree. And I do encourage people if you’re like, oh, sure, that sounds nice, but is there really stuff out there? Go, just go to, what are those websites called? I finally got a job now I can’t remember.[00:32:43] Emily: Oh, like in Indeed or, okay, yeah,[00:32:46] Susanne: or go to one[00:32:47] Missy: Yeah. Search the listings and just see what’s out[00:32:49] Susanne: Yeah. And go see.[00:32:51] Emily: I mean, that’s a, that’s a freelance marketplace, you know, The Mom Project, We Are Rosie, um, Opre, there are plenty of places to at least start to just see, you know, like you mentioned Indeed, you know, where these, these opportunities are and how they’re described and what they need you to do.And remember the classic advice of like, don’t sit and not apply just because you don’t meet all the criteria.[00:33:11] Susanne: yes. Or if you really don’t meet, I mean, because, oh, who did we talk to about that?[00:33:17] Missy: Breyer,[00:33:18] Susanne: It was probably Breyer, [00:33:19] Missy: like you needed like 50% of the things or something. Yeah.[00:33:23] Susanne: yeah, but even if you, so if you do look at that, you’re like, I don’t even hit the 50%, you know, I, you’re[00:33:29] Missy: Then think like a man who would be like, I actually don’t know any of this, but I think I should be your CEO.[00:33:34] Susanne: No, but that probably is the point, because you don’t want to go blow, you don’t want to go blow your first shot out there. So, I mean, but that does then drive home the point then, okay, go do some of the additional training. Go see what, hey, their social media has available. If some of those roles sound interesting, but you’re like, I can’t even do the 50%.I’m assuming that, hey, their media, social media is going to get you way past the 50% so that you are ready to actually apply for some of those jobs after not. And this isn’t like a, now I sound like a commercial. This isn’t like a two year program or anything. I mean, how quickly could people really be up and running and applying for some jobs after training?[00:34:11] Emily: we, so with our, with our core training, our signature, we’ve had women, it lasts six weeks, but it’s, um, a very light.we’ve had women start earning before they finished their six weeks. Um, and again, we talk about portfolio projects and maybe a start of a free project and then you start a small paid or you start with a small paid and you move into medium. So, um, it’s it’s certainly something that we see and could talk, talk to various examples if anyone’s interested.[00:34:39] Susanne: Yeah, and I’m thinking about that as we like, we’re talking about volunteering or doing those free jobs. I like, maybe there is, cause I’m, I’m thinking authors, you use an author as an example before those are people who notoriously do not have like tons of money flowing for social media stuff. But if you have a favorite author or a favorite someone that you’re like, you know what?That would be a fun relationship to build and be like, Hey, do you need some help with your social media? I see that you’ve got a new book coming out or whatever. Let me help you or whatever. I think that could be a really fun way to volunteer. You’re volunteering for them, but you’re volunteering for yourself.You’re getting some, you’re upskilling and then probably building a really interesting relationship with someone that you like. So yeah, I think that’s a cool idea. It could be a business, it could be a person, it could be a whatever that go see if they need some help and if they can help you get to that next step.[00:35:26] Emily: Well, I’m glad that resonate. Thanks, Suzanne.[00:35:28] Susanne: Yeah. Okay.[00:35:29] Missy: I hope some of our listeners go out there and look into it, but now it is time for look, listen, learns. We’re getting close to our hour. so anybody who’s new here, we’re really excited you’re here. We hope you will come back next week and the week after that. Uh, then every show we spend a few minutes just talking about our look, listen, learns.It can be really serious stuff. It can be really goofy stuff. It can be a new lipstick, just whatever you’re doing, learning, thinking about this week and we don’t like our guests to be in the hot seat first. So Suzanne is going first.[00:35:59] Susanne: Okay. I think even though we recorded our last episode like a month ago, I think I was still listening to this same book. The Covenant of Water. It’s not short. It’s not a short book.[00:36:12] Missy: Yeah. Wait, how many hours did you say it was?[00:36:14] Susanne: 30?[00:36:15] Missy: Yeah. It made me cry. It’s too much.[00:36:17] Susanne: It’s I mean, it was really funny. Well, this is another thing I’ve been looking at Pretty much the entire country as we drove from Austin to Rochester to go drop her daughter off at college But I was telling my husband I was like even if I listened to this book for every minute of this road trip It would still not be over like[00:36:37] Emily: Way to keep yourself motivated, Suzanne.[00:36:39] Missy: Right. All right.[00:36:41] Susanne: But we did,[00:36:42] Missy: long.[00:36:43] Susanne: no, but I don’t, but I do not want to convey that it was drudgery. I enjoyed this book very much and every minute I was listening to it, I was looking forward. Reading it, Laura Luthman to it, it was really, really good. It was a very, not to play on the water metaphor, but it felt like this nice ride down a river.Like there was never anything that was like too like cliffhanger or dramatic. I mean, there was definitely some, but it was just a nice, beautiful, beautifully written little cruise down a river of, I mean, it was intergenerational, so you get to meet the great grandchildren of the original character that you’re introduced to and just see how people’s lives kind of Mixed together and intertwine.And yeah, it was really beautiful. Although be prepared. Um, as I rolled into the epilogue, is that what’s at the end of the book, the epilogue, the narrator was actually the author, which I was scared of, but it actually ended up not being too bad. and in the epilogue, he talking about how he’s a doctor.So there’s a lot of medical procedures, very, very detailed medical procedures within the book. and it goes, it talks a lot about, um, oh shoot, it’s such a big part of the book. How am I forgetting? The people who lose like parts of their hands and their feet, but leprosy, it covers, yeah, it, it covers a lot of, medical issues around people who have leprosy and procedures around it.And so I was like, how do you know all this stuff? Which I guess he is an actual doctor. And so that was very interesting to hear that perspective. I kind of wish I would have known that before I read it. So, um, let’s see. Look, I looked at the whole country. Learn. I learned as I was going across the country.I did not think that this was that weird of a thing, but if you are coming and listening to this podcast, because this is how you found me, I hope you’re not disappointed. So going to college, you need to get your kids. That’s what you don’t need to. Those of us who get the things for our kids that are excessive for their dorms room.Uh, they have the twin XL beds and I, you know, Dorms are not particularly comfy, I don’t think. So it’s like, and she’s used to a foam mattress at home, and we weren’t about to try to squish it in the car because it would have taken up half of the space in the truck. But in order to ship stuff to the school, I couldn’t like ship it two months in advance or whatever.So you had to wait till the very last minute, which by then… You know, everybody’s going to call it. So every Twin XL mattress pad in the country is gone. But then I did a little bit of math and a king size mattress pad is exactly two Twin XLs. And it’s not necessarily twice the cost. So I wasn’t even trying to cost usually I’m doing it because I’m trying to save money.But this time I was just like, this is the only way[00:39:32] Missy: So what you got to get?[00:39:34] Susanne: And so I just went to the parents page for the school and was like, Hey, anybody else want to go in anybody else wait until the last week and they’re out. And another mom was like, yes. My son needs one, whatever. so, drop off, there’s just a lot.There’s a lot going on. A lot of moving pieces. But we ended up going and getting this giant king size thing that we got through Home Depot. Picked it up, but then the whole trip, I was like, How am I going to cut this thing in half? Because you usually have to use a bread knife. And I know this, I’m a pro because I make tons of these beds for my dogs because they eat their beds a lot.So we always use the kids old mattress pads and, you know, cut them up with a bread knife. And I know that’s what you need to use, but I wasn’t going to bring it because I could drive it there, but I couldn’t fly home with it. And I didn’t want to check my bag. So every Applebee’s we hit, which was like a hundred on the way there, Zoe’d be like, does this knife look serrated enough?Or like, it’s like,[00:40:28] Missy: Put this one in my backpack.[00:40:29] Susanne: put this on my backpack, and then every time we go buy a Dollar General, I was like, Does Dollar General just sell knives? But then I was like, how safe is a Dollar General serrated knife? I don’t know. But then, so we happened to be at a Target picking up the 100 things that she needed, and I found that one last knife.It wasn’t even hanging. It was like just laying there on a shelf somewhere. I was like, one knife! It’s meant to be. It’s 8. It’s perfect. At the same time, I’m getting, like, texts from that mom, like, we’re driving into town. We’ve got like a half hour between now and when her son’s appointment to check in was.So I was like, well, I’m at the Target. I got a knife. I got a foam mattress. I guess now’s my moment. And so she’s like, I’ll meet you at the Target parking lot at this time. And it was like 10 minutes away. So. As we were checking out the target, I saw that they had a bunch of cardboard boxes that they were taking out to recycle and I was like, hey, can I take a couple of those and the lady’s like, whatever crazy lady.So I took those out into the parking lot and laid those down. So it wouldn’t get dirty and then unrolled this giant mattress pad and then proceeded to. Well, that was the other thing when you unroll it, it does not look normal. It’s all like mushed in places and whatever. So I was like, which side’s top bottom side?I don’t know. So the lady got there and I’m holding the knife. I’m like, I don’t know where to make the cut. Like it’s like a shrinky dink. I was like, I don’t know which way is the top and the bottom. And she’s like, you know what? My son doesn’t care. So we just were like, fine, we’ll just, we’re just going to cut down the middle of somewhere.And she like handed me 60 bucks and drove off and. And I posted a picture of it, like, squashed into the trunk. I was like, hey kids, Make a good first impression at college by cutting this thing in half and I mean I do a Hundred dumber things every day but for some reason this one Really resonated with people and so it went[00:42:15] Missy: really did.[00:42:17] Susanne: And[00:42:18] Emily: that’s hilarious.[00:42:19] Susanne: still going it’s like a hundred and gosh who knows I’m like, I’m like Cuisinart should sponsor that post.but it was just really fun. It’s funny to see like the things that catch people’s eye or just they’re fancy and that makes them laugh and that they can relate with. And I do think it’s just that there’s just such a crazy energy around drop off. And, you know, what do you remember? What can you pack?What do you forget? What does your kid really need? What is like over the top umbrella parent or helicopter parenting? And I think this kind of probably covered all of those in one. And I[00:42:54] Emily: Over a hundred thousand views though. That’s incredible.[00:42:57] Missy: It’s [00:42:57] Susanne: was a hundred that no, it had millions of views. It had a hundred thousand, like likes, hearts, whatever’s. Like I think it’s [00:43:07] Emily: I love it. [00:43:08] Susanne: whatever, but I mean at first it got up when it got up to a thousand. I was like, that’s it. Like this is so exciting. It’s so fun. But yeah, I did take advantage of that. That was my little learn like be ready for those moments because they do. I mean, I’ve been posting stuff to Facebook for A decade and nothing’s ever caught on like that.So I popped right in there and I was like, I am milking this moment for all it’s worth. I have a podcast and go on over there. If you think I was nuts, cutting something in the parking lot, just wait till you hear what I do when I’m trying to do a job interview. So, so yes, anybody who’s come welcome. We’re excited you’re here.[00:43:45] Emily: That’s right. Pivot this podcast to a mom hacks. Right.[00:43:48] Susanne: Yeah.[00:43:49] Missy: that’s right.[00:43:51] Susanne: Anyway, that’s me. What about you, Emily?[00:43:54] Emily: So yeah, so look, I mean, we’re coming off of summer. I live in Michigan, and we did a lot of lake trips. You know, there’s so much, so much beautiful water around us. So we spent a lot of time near the water. In fact, I feel super spoiled to say you kind of forget about summer. Ocean beaches. You just get used to lake life.[00:44:14] Missy: Mm[00:44:14] Emily: that was, that was something I really enjoyed. And I, we do watch a lot of TV in the winter. So, um, so I feel like this summer we, we kind of dialed back a little bit there. but if I had to choose something I’m watching, I will literally always watch an episode of shark tank. I don’t care if it’s from 2012 or 2023, I will always watch an episode of shark tank.There’s always lessons to be learned. And I’ve enjoyed watching it with my children because trying to explain what’s going on to them. It’s neat to see like where they get interested and where they’re just. Not interested.[00:44:40] Missy: Yeah,[00:44:41] Susanne: true, that would be fun with the kids, we haven’t done that. Or the kid. Oh.[00:44:46] Emily: I know. You’ve[00:44:47] Susanne: The one kid.[00:44:50] Emily: Um, I listen. I would just, I guess I’d give a shout out to whether you do the audio book or read the book, uh, Fair Play. Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. I mean, you know, that was something we connected about at Mom 2, um, when I had the pleasure of meeting you ladies, that, that book really changed, changed my life, um, when I read it, and it’s, it’s something that has touched our life in a personal way with my husband and I sharing our story in the Fair Play documentary, which is not just the movie version of the book, um, but, but something that you can catch on, on all the streamings, um, For for, you know, a very affordable price to check that out.Fair play. and then learning. I mean, thank you for giving me the opportunity to to share with so many women, um, ways that I watch other women learn every single day, really through upskilling and freelance. And just again, not not looking at it so narrow and saying, Well, I don’t have skills to freelance with.It’s We are living the future of work right now. It is unfolding in front of us. And so as cliche as it sounds to, you know, throw away what you knew before. I mean, Anything kind of goes now, like there’s so many different ways to work and it’s exciting.[00:45:54] Susanne: it is.[00:45:54] Missy: Yeah.[00:45:55] Susanne: Oh, love it.[00:45:57] Emily: So thank you for letting me have my turn.[00:45:59] Susanne: Oh, yes. And oh, we should link to the actually the fair play. Yeah, the documentary.[00:46:06] Missy: it’s really interesting for sure. [00:46:09] Susanne: what have you been lookless and learning?[00:46:11] Missy: um, I think that this has already been a look, listen, learn of mine, but I think it was a really pretty long time ago. So maybe we have some new people who don’t remember it. And I can’t remember. I have no idea when it was.I just feel like I’ve talked about it before, but, um, I am rereading devotions by Mary Oliver and it’s a compilation. Poems from all of her books and I just love them so much. I love Mary Oliver. I’m sad that I never met her or knew her like I feel like we would have been good friends. Um, so I love that one.Even if you’re not a poetry person, I think she’s really accessible poetry, and just has a beautiful spirit and a beautiful eye. So if you’re just looking for something lovely to read a little bit every day. I highly recommend it. And then because we were always on the cutting edge of entertainment, we have just started watching Suits, which I guess has been off the air for many years.Like it’s, we’d never watched it. I didn’t know anything about it and it has just been, I guess it’s on Netflix now and when it comes up, like people will start watching things and then it starts just being sort of part of the conversation again. I think that’s what has happened.[00:47:18] Susanne: Well, I think it is because even Chris brought it up just this week. He’s like, Oh, the number one Netflix show right now is The Suits. We should check it out. I was like, is that the one with Meghan Markle in it? He’s like, [00:47:28] Missy: It is! [00:47:29] Susanne: he’s like, I don’t think so. It’s this new show. I was like, no, it’s not a new show.So you [00:47:34] Missy: I couldn’t [00:47:35] Susanne: more cutting edge than Chris this week.[00:47:38] Missy: well, I can’t even count the number of people who have said recently that they’re watching it. And so finally, just the other day I looked at Mark and I was like, should we, should we try it? Like everyone else and their dog is watching it. So we’ve watched exactly one episode, but we really did enjoy it.So I think we’re going to keep watching it. And it’s got like nine seasons. So well, and since the writers and there’s the strike going on, no new TV is coming.[00:48:00] Susanne: true.[00:48:01] Missy: So go back in there. Yeah, go to the Wayback Machine and find some shows that you missed the first time around and that’s what we’re doing now.[00:48:09] Susanne: This episode brought to you by Suits. Brand[00:48:13] Missy: and Canva and Cuisinart. So, yeah, and I have kind of a serious learn by the time this episode is out, this will be kind of old news and everyone will know, but I want everybody to go get their mammograms because I got my annual mammogram and there was a spot this year that was not there last year. And that’s why you go do them every year.And I am thankful that what I have is DCIS, it’s ductal carcinoma in situ, depending on where you read it. Some people will be like, that’s pre cancer, not real cancer. My oncologist says this is cancer. It’s just cancer that is trapped inside a milk duct and hasn’t gone anywhere else yet. So that’s why you go get your mammograms because if I hadn’t done it, who knows what it would have done.It’s a pretty big spot and it grew that big in a year and eventually it can get out of the ducts. And so I’m glad we found it when we did. And, um, I’m going to have a mastectomy, so I’m sure we’ll have some episodes where we talk about what that is like. Um, and as we record, I haven’t done that yet, but by the time you’re listening to this, that will be in the past.And I bet I’m. Back to business, at least I hope I am. but yeah, go get your mammograms and if you have questions or fears or want to just want to talk about it, just reach out to me, you can find us on social media and I’d be happy to talk to you about my experience or connect you with other people I’ve met through this experience and share what I know and what I don’t know, there’s so much I don’t know, but we’ll, yeah.Every day I’m learning so much.[00:49:47] Susanne: yeah, you’ve had a crash course on it in the past few weeks. So,[00:49:51] Missy: It’s been a really fast process. Again, this is old news by the time you’re listening to it, but it’s been fast. It went from We’re now at about a month from my mammogram, my original mammogram. And then it was a callback and a biopsy. And I was one week from biopsy to oncologist. And it has been a really super fast process and I’m thankful for that because the more time I have, the more I think about it and I just, let’s just get it done.And I am fortunate that I think this mastectomy will be my treatment. That’s not the case for a lot of women, but I think we will go in, have surgery and hopefully be done.[00:50:24] Susanne: yes.[00:50:25] Missy: So go get them squished ladies. Go get themsquished. It’s not fun, but go do it.[00:50:30] Susanne: No, it’s such a good reminder. I know I always it’s frustrating when things are awareness months or whatever, because[00:50:37] Missy: know, when this run, well, maybe will it be October when this is out[00:50:41] Susanne: it might[00:50:42] Missy: or close or close.[00:50:44] Susanne: yes. So become pre aware and. Yeah, no matter what month you’re listening to this, because some new listener may be listening to it in February, make that your awareness month, just whatever. Yeah, make sure you’re on your[00:50:57] Missy: Yeah. And just go talk to your doctor and get it scheduled in some places. Some places I think will allow you to self schedule. don’t know all the laws. I don’t understand all the insurance. I am learning, but I think there you can self schedule and say, I just want my annual mammogram [00:51:14] Susanne: It’s good to know. Yes, and you have inspired me too. Even though I am on schedule with my mammogram, I am way behind on my colonoscopy. Which that is where, that’s where Suzanne has her problems and I’m, I’m supposed to be on a more aggressive schedule of doing that. So[00:51:31] Missy: All right. Get it done.[00:51:32] Susanne: I’m getting it done. You’ve inspired me.[00:51:35] Missy: Talk about not fun. The colonoscopy is not fun, but get that done too.[00:51:39] Susanne: But I always treat myself to a donut afterwards. So that makes it kind of [00:51:43] Missy: Right. And a really rockin nap.[00:51:46] Susanne: Yes. That [00:51:48] Missy: great nap afterwards. Like, I just do nothing that day because I’m in kind of la la.[00:51:52] Susanne: My favorite 10 seconds of life is that. Like when they have you do the countdown, that little twilight, like,[00:51:59] Missy: Yeah, it’s not even 10 seconds because you’re like,[00:52:01] Susanne: no, it’s like two [00:52:02] Missy: goodbye. [00:52:02] Susanne: but it’s, it’s like the best margarita you’ve ever had is like, yeah,[00:52:09] Missy: Yeah, you gotta look for the silver lining.[00:52:11] Susanne: we do, we look for the silver linings where we can find them.Well, I’m so grateful you shared your story so that other people, um, can. Can realize how important it is and that it can impact anybody. So yeah, get,[00:52:24] Missy: Might screw up a month or two of your life, but you’ll be glad you got it done.[00:52:28] Susanne: Hey, get some, get some rest and relaxation and heal and take care of yourself. And so I do think we did have some episodes pre recorded.We might end up with a little bit of a bonus summer gap there sometime in September, October, depending on things roll. But, yeah, so just know that we’re not [00:52:47] Missy: the time you’re listening to this, yeah, we will, we’ll have announced like what it’s going to look like, I think by the time this episode runs.[00:52:54] Emily: Your episodes are very binge friendly, ladies. I feel like I listen to them in batches.[00:52:58] Susanne: Oh good.[00:52:59] Emily: for doing all this work for us listeners. I’m a listener too.[00:53:02] Susanne: Oh,[00:53:03] Missy: for listening.[00:53:04] Susanne: you. And yeah, we’re so excited. Just doing freelance work is what helped fill up my resume so that I could get this, freelancing gig that I have now between doing the work for myself to be able to be in a place where I can do this job.So that is great. Keeping my skills fresh and being ready to do that. But then also doing the work of listening to these episodes and, listening to all the coaches that we’ve talked to over the past three years has gotten me into the place to know exactly what role I was looking for and being really confident that like, yes, this is whether it’s with this agency or another agency or whatever that ends up being in the future.This is a really great mix for me So yeah, learn about yourself and then learn about. how things like, hey there social media and other places can help you get the skills that you need to whatever it is that you want to take on your next chapter.[00:53:59] Emily: Thank you, ladies. Thank you. It’s been so fun.[00:54:01] Susanne: Thank you.So nice to see you again.[00:54:05] Missy: whenever that is. We’ll see what is the[00:54:07] Susanne: Whenever mom [00:54:07] Missy: that, whenever that is.[00:54:08] Emily: I can’t wait to listen. Yes, I’ll be listening to more episodes and we’ll think ahead to next year’s conference, conference meetup.[00:54:14] Susanne: can’t wait. All right. Well, [00:54:16] Missy: All right. Have a great afternoon.[00:54:18] Emily: Thanks, Suzanne. Thanks, Missy.[00:54:20] Susanne: Bye bye.[00:54:21] Emily: Bye. Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at momandpodcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.
We’re Back from Battling Cancer, Relaunching Careers & Missing Y’all!
Jan 11, 2024
January 11, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 132
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Show Summary:
In this comeback episode of the podcast, co-hosts Missy Stevens and Susanne Kerns discuss the importance of maintaining the balance between work, family, and health.
The episode delves into personal challenges both women have faced, such as Missy’s recent breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, and getting back to work after a break. Susanne shares her insights on freelancing, and the adjustments that come along with returning to work. They discuss their career paths, highlighting the need to assess skills and interests. The episode wraps with some conversation about what’s ahead for the show, along with Susanne and Missy exclaiming how excited they are to be back behind their microphones, sharing information and inspiration with listeners.
Topics From This Episode:
00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates
02:21 Welcome to 2024 and Podcast Plans
03:19 Missy’s Health Update: Breast Cancer Journey
09:28 The Importance of Regular Mammograms
13:05 Living Flat: Life After Mastectomy
16:44 Susanne’s Career Transition and New Job
25:51 Finding the Right Workplace Culture
26:24 The Impact of COVID on Workplace Culture
26:55 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Career Pivots
28:07 The Role of Volunteering and Side Projects in Career Development
29:13 The Diversity of Job Opportunities
30:38 The Importance of Exploring Interests and Passions
31:09 The Joy of Getting Paid and Future Show Plans
31:47 Changes in Show Schedule and Upcoming Episodes
32:28 The Challenges and Solutions of Freelancing
33:00 The Importance of Time Management in Freelancing
35:49 The Impact of Major Life Changes
44:28 The Struggles of Returning to Work After a Break
48:50 Closing Thoughts and Future Plans
Look, Listen, Learns
No LLLs this week.
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Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
[00:00:00] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week resume getter togetherer.
I
[00:00:37] Susanne: Ooh, we know some people who could help with that.
[00:00:40] Missy: Thank goodness. I need some help. Oh,
[00:00:45] Susanne: I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot dot dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week, I am counting down the days until my daughter goes back to college, but not in like the mean way, in the in the nice loving way, and that I do not want her to leave.
But man, we’ve had like Three weeks. I feel like college kids get a, get a good
[00:01:07] Missy: get a nice long break. Yeah. Have y’all had so much fun?
[00:01:10] Susanne: it has been wonderful. I think she’s probably bored to tears, but for the parents,
[00:01:15] Missy: at her? I’d just be like,
[00:01:17] Susanne: sometimes I do. She turns around and just like, Hmm.
[00:01:23] Missy: think I am going to be in Harvey’s hip pocket when he comes home next year and he’s going to love it. He’s gonna love it.
[00:01:28] Susanne: Okay, we’re off track already.
[00:01:30] Missy: I know it’s our gift
[00:01:31] Susanne: All right. Well, welcome to 2024. It is a new season of the MawMan dot dot dot podcast. We have been on hiatus for the last few months. so today we’re going to talk about where we have been and plans for upcoming episodes.
[00:01:48] Missy: because we’re back baby
[00:01:50] Susanne: Yay! Oh my gosh. And as both Missy and I have decided, it’s even though it’s just been a It’s Short break, kind of? Well, three months is a while.
[00:01:58] Missy: three months
[00:01:59] Susanne: We have apparently forgotten all of the things about how microphones work, and how Zoom works, and how to talk into a camera. And so, so bear with us as we do this.
[00:02:10] Missy: Yes. Yeah. This is like our dry run, our practice run, and then
[00:02:14] Susanne: And then we’ll invite guests to talk to you. But for just today, it’s just the two of us, a quickie on where we’ve been, and yeah, what we’re looking forward to the next couple months. Don’t miss it.
[00:02:24] Missy: months felt like three years.
[00:02:25] Susanne: Yeah, I know, but it’s probably the biggest news has been, everybody’s been very kind and checking in on you health wise, and part of the reason for our hiatus was, around health, so I’ll let you do a little update.
[00:02:39] Missy: Okay. Um, and I, I told you beforehand, like, I, I could do an hour long episode on this if anybody wants an hour long episode at some point, we can talk about it. People have questions. I’m happy to answer questions. Just if you have questions just because you’re curious, fine, reach out, especially if you are going through something like this or know somebody going through it, reach out to me.
I’m happy to talk about it. some people think, Oh, I don’t want to bring it up. Or does it, you know, just make you sad or is it stressful? And no, I mean, I have sad moments and mad moments. I’m angry a lot, which is a whole other thing we’ll get into. but. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it.
So I was diagnosed with breast cancer in August. and I was diagnosed with DCIS. We’ve talked about it before. So there’s an episode. We’ll link to it where we go back and talk about that. And I had some choices to make about my treatment. And I chose what is basically a one and done treatment if the pathology comes back clear, which mine did.
The pathology came back and they got everything in. I had a bilateral mastectomy and had one lymph node removed on my right side, which is the side the cancer was on. I’m happy to talk to anybody who wants to know about my decision making process. That’s a long conversation. We don’t want to use this whole hour talking about it, but if you’re curious, I’d love to talk to you about it.
it’s a big decision, and I had options, and that’s where I landed. Um, and my pathology came back that they got everything in that surgery, so I did not have any follow up radiation or chemo. which I’m thankful for, but I had that surgery at the end of September. I was supposed to have it at the beginning of September, but I got COVID. So
[00:04:16] Susanne: Yes,
[00:04:17] Missy: a super fun month.
[00:04:19] Susanne: oh my gosh, that
[00:04:20] Missy: can’t believe I’d never had COVID. I went three years, never caught it. Got it in September. so I had to bump surgery, get over COVID and then have surgery. So I had about a three week window in there to get better and have surgery. so I had that done September 27th and then took a couple months to recover.
And I am now to a point where I I’m not fully recovered. It just takes a while, but I am pretty normal, as normal as normal can be. Um, like I have almost a full range of motion. What’s left is like this tiny bit and I’m going to therapy, physical therapy to get it. and yeah, so that’s where I have been.
And it’s been a crazy road and, um, maybe we’ll do an episode sometime on like what things I’ve learned. And, I’ve learned a lot about what not to say to someone who’s diagnosed with cancer. I’ve learned a lot about what is amazing. I mean, people, people showed up and just did things that I wouldn’t, I didn’t even realize were like, that I would need or want, you know, like they just, they just showed up They brought themselves to that and it would, I learned a lot about if someone else in my life is going through it, what mattered to me and what helped me and, yeah, so happy to talk to anybody about that too,
[00:05:40] Susanne: Oh, I think that’s, that’s such a good. Lesson to be able to share with people because I know I’m one of those people is just like kind of we talk about it all the time, but you’re not going to do it if you think you’re going to do it wrong. And I always think I’ll do something wrong. And so that stops me from doing things sometimes.
Just because, yeah, you’re like, I don’t want to make them sad or I don’t want to do this or I don’t want to give them this if that’s going to hurt their tummies or like, just like overthinking things to the point of not doing anything. So, oh, that
[00:06:09] Missy: And I will tell you, I think the thing to do is just do whatever it is you think of, just do it. the hardest is when someone’s like, what can I do? Cause you don’t know. I didn’t know what I would need from day to day. I didn’t know what I would want. I had, I was clueless. And so anytime someone showed up however they showed up, I was just grateful for it.
you know, it’s just, you just know someone’s thinking about you and it’s really nice.
[00:06:32] Susanne: Oh, I love that. Okay. So I do think we need to get something on the books and maybe bring in a co expert to, from the medical side, because, you know what, I think that Sadly, the statistics are to the point where if it’s not you, it’s going to be definitely someone in your close ring of friends who’s going to be impacted by this.
So it’s a, if,
[00:06:56] Missy: It’s one in eight women. One in eight. And I don’t know, as we’re recording this, just yesterday a CNN anchor whose name is escaping me. I feel terrible about it, but we will link to it. She announced on air that she’s going to be taking some time off because she was diagnosed with a stage three cancer, has a quite an extensive treatment ahead of her.
And she talked about that one in eight statistic again, and she asked everybody to just stop for a minute and think about. Women or seven other women that they know about those seven and yourself one of you is going to be diagnosed It’s a crazy statistic. She had no family history and Found herself the stage three cancer and she’s also a person of color and so there’s a whole aspect to that because I think it’s something like women of color or Black women in particular are 41 percent more likely to die of breast cancer than white women.
It’s a whole shitshow with our medical system. Um, so there’s a lot there. I would love to bring on somebody who is not just regurgitating statistics but understands it and can speak to it. Because there’s a lot to cover.
[00:07:59] Susanne: But I think the most important thing is that you caught it early and
[00:08:05] Missy: my routine mammogram.
[00:08:06] Susanne: routine mammogram. So I know that we do a lot of stuff around October. Well, not we, the, the country
[00:08:13] Missy: Yeah.
[00:08:13] Susanne: we general public usually in October. Everybody does their, you know, their pink ribbons and all those types of things. Um, and then sometimes we tend to forget about it once the, all the pinkness goes away.
So we’re here to remind you that every month is a good month to go do your, well, don’t do it every month.
[00:08:34] Missy: It’s a horrible, barbaric process. You only want to do it when you have to.
[00:08:38] Susanne: I shouldn’t give medical advice. Um, but yes. Uh, if you have not and actually this is an interesting point because I think the last recording we did Uh, we were talking about it and I was like, oh and yeah, i’m up to date and blah blah blah And sure enough. I went and checked and I was not so here we had been it had been a central point in Having you going through this and talking about it, and I still, it’s shocking how much we can misremember time periods, like it felt like it was a couple months ago, but it had been, it wasn’t a long time, it was like 14 months, but it was more than a year, so, um, so I got on there, and you know what, I, even if you are not So, Do for a while, start scheduling now.
I noticed that the scheduling for it was a lot slower than in past years in the sense that, um, I think just medical things are backed up a little bit more than usual. So you,
[00:09:39] Missy: local to Austin, and a lot of people used to easily go to A. R. A. imaging, well, ARA has been bought and they’re not taking certain insurances that they used to take. And so they have such a huge, they can handle a huge volume of people, but now they’re not taking all these insurances.
So it’s harder to schedule because you have to find one of the other imaging locations that will take your insurance. They’re like, they’re not taking big, major insurances, and I think you might’ve run into that.
[00:10:07] Susanne: Well I did run into that. And then I got a bonus trip to go see Missy out of it because I had to drive away out of my neighborhood to But so yeah, that was the reason that I had to book it so far away from my neighborhood place that I would usually go to for it. And I had to wait a certain time period. So even
[00:10:30] Missy: I do believe,
[00:10:32] Susanne: okay.
[00:10:32] Missy: can leave this in, but I believe, and I will confirm it, you do not need a doctor’s order to schedule your annual screening mammogram. That is a test that you can call and schedule yourself. You don’t have to go see your doctor. Now I recommend going to see your doctor. Because they do a lot of other things that you need to have done.
But, if you’re dealing with some anxiety around that, and you’re putting off going to the doctor for some reason, at least schedule your mammogram. You can call and do it yourself. And, I mean, it saves lives. Mine was really fast growing. It wasn’t there the year before. It had gotten pretty sizable in a year.
And I feel like had I let it go, it could have escaped. It was still stuck in those ducts, but it could have
[00:11:11] Susanne: Mm hmm.
[00:11:12] Missy: gotten out, you know, so I do it. Just call in schedule.
[00:11:16] Susanne: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Let’s see. What else do we want to talk about that? I mean, I do think it warrants its whole, whole episode.
[00:11:25] Missy: I mean, I think it could, we can talk about, you know, I had to make a decision whether or not I did any kind of reconstruction, which I chose not to, I left it kind of open. I could do it later. And now I’m, what is this a little over three months out, right? No, not quite. Where am I? I don’t know where I am.
Yes. A little over
[00:11:44] Susanne: Three months. I think
[00:11:44] Missy: What day is it? And I think I’ve decided I will never do any kind of reconstruction. So I am now part of a growing number of women who choose to stay flat, which comes with its own set of crap. You know, like it was a choice I made. I’m glad I made that choice. I have to learn to dress myself again, not as in physically how to put clothes on, but what clothes do you put on?
Um, everything looks weird and different. And, the other day I got like a huge pit in my stomach because I thought, well, I figured out winter pretty well. I can layer. It’s pretty great. But now I have to figure out summer and swimsuits and all that. But there are, I mean, there are Facebook groups and there’s all kinds of people that, you know, dedicated to this.
So it’s not like I’m out here alone doing it. But, um. It’s a choice that gets some pushback from surgeons. Not mine. Mine was great, but sometimes people have trouble. Their surgeons do not want them to make this choice. Um, it’s a choice
[00:12:44] Susanne: That
[00:12:45] Missy: to women since. Yeah, I’ve talked to women since who get pushback from their partners.
It’s just,
um, you know, but it’s a big decision and it does have a lot of repercussions in your life as you go along and every day something new occurs to me and every once in a while I’m like, holy crap, I don’t have any boobs. It’s weird.
[00:13:04] Susanne: Like you were just saying, you were cold today.
[00:13:07] Missy: Yes. Cool. I lost a lot of padding. I lost five pounds in one day and, um, that was a lot of padding that I was used to having. And, you know, I mean, it’s, it takes a while for your brain to wrap around it, even though I was very certain that was the decision I wanted to make at the time of surgery. And as the months have gone on, I’m still really certain that that’s what I’m sticking with. I feel good about it. It is the right decision for me. I don’t have any regrets. Just a great thing to be able to say. Like, I feel super confident with this decision, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of like, huh, interesting.
You know, it’s just, it’s weird. I mean, it’s weird. I’ve had boobs since I was like 10. There’s a lot of decades to carry those around, and they’re a part of you, and it’s a big part of your life in a lot of different ways, and I’m having to learn to be without, and I would, I’d be happy to talk to someone if you are trying to make that decision, because it helps, like, I listen to a lot of other women’s stories that made, you know, the gamut of decisions, not necessarily that ended up in the same decision I made, same, I’ve shared my story with a lot of women who are trying to make a decision, and it, It just helps.
You just need information and you just want to hear other people’s experiences. And so, we can totally do an episode on it. Or if you just want to reach out to me and talk, I’m here.
[00:14:24] Susanne: That is very generous and very helpful. And yeah, I think that’ll be a really valuable, this is a valuable episode, but I think the additional information that we’ll have on that dedicated episode will be really, really important. So stay tuned for that and, and many other exciting episodes coming up.
[00:14:43] Missy: Well, now we get to talk about what you’ve done for the last, well, three months, but six months really. And it’s way more fun than breast cancer. So. No. No. No. No.
[00:14:53] Susanne: is for sure. I mean, it has its days, but, um, no, it can’t even compare. Uh, yes, my new, I, I would call it my new job, but as we were just saying, I just had my six month anniversary, which, which is really funny because I remember, gosh, one of the episodes back when I started, I was feeling bad because it had been like three weeks and I didn’t feel like.
I was caught up to where I needed to be. And we talked to someone who’s, or no, I had, I think I just Googled like how long to be ready
[00:15:26] Missy: Yeah, you did. You
[00:15:27] Susanne: like you’re working
[00:15:28] Missy: Mm hmm.
[00:15:29] Susanne: Um, and they said at least three months and, you know, usually like closer to six months. And there’s still stuff I’m learning on a daily basis.
I’m sure that there are still people at my office who are like, okay, new girl, like, that’s not how you do that. but as far as like getting into the swing of things and feeling like I’m really steady with what’s going on, I got to say six months is a really nice milestone. Um, it’s, well, it didn’t help that, was it two months ago?
Like around September, October, um, I took on a new client. So that was also, every time you take on a new client, it’s almost like starting a new job in terms of learning about them and all
[00:16:11] Missy: Mm hmm.
[00:16:12] Susanne: So it was almost like starting two jobs a little bit, um,
[00:16:16] Missy: Well, you and I had lunch or brunch recently, and you were, we were talking about how different things, like, things work differently than the last time you had a job like this. Like, the world has changed a lot, so you just have that learning curve
[00:16:30] Susanne: Yeah. Yeah. And I, it’s so much of it is okay. So I’m working at an agency, which actually I want to have the CEO Tracy come on some time because I love the philosophy of the agency is called Creative Noggin. And the whole reason she started it. I mean, gosh, was it 12 years ago, 13 years ago, it has always been a digital or not digital agency, but, uh, yeah.
Remote agency. Everybody works from home. And the idea, and I think pretty much all of us except for one, uh, are, women, and so very much this idea of being able to, if you want to care for kids or have some flexibility, with Child care, home, or whatever other thing that you need to have flexibility with, you can do that.
And not necessarily time wise, I’m the only one who works on a contract basis. most people are full time, but it’s flexible in the sense of I need to pick up my kid from school this time and no one gives a shit about it. Or
[00:17:35] Missy: as it should be.
[00:17:36] Susanne: It’s just completely expected and it’s very flexible on the, Oh, I’ve got this dentist appointment.
I, and you know, people say, I’m going to be here these hours instead of these hours. So it’s just very open that way. No one would ever think twice about someone going to pick up a kid or leaving early for a game or leaving early for a recital. It’s just. It is woven into the fabric of the agency, which I just love so much.
Uh, mine is extra flexible because I do freelance work and so, I just work for the hours that I’m contracted to for my clients. So I’m even, I’m able to hop out and do a podcast recording in the middle
[00:18:17] Missy: Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Yeah. I was so happy when you got your job, and I’m not going to lie, there was part of me that was like, Oh no, like, what if we can’t podcast anymore? And I’m working actively towards going back to some more hours, like, kind of like you have something a little more permanent and steady.
And same thing, I want to make it so that we can, I still want to do this.
[00:18:41] Susanne: Yes, I love it. I love, well, I love talking to you on a regular basis, and I love talking to smart women on a regular basis about their expertise and all the things that they can help other people
[00:18:52] Missy: It’s so much fun, like we’re the luckiest.
[00:18:55] Susanne: I have missed it so much,
[00:18:57] Missy: Me too.
[00:18:58] Susanne: Yay, we’re back. Um, but yeah, so what about the job? It’s Ugh, I should have a whole episode on that too.
[00:19:07] Missy: Well, I think we should. I think we should have your boss on and I think that we should talk about everything that’s entailed because it really dovetails with what we do here,
[00:19:16] Susanne: oh, it’s it’s everything about what we do. Yeah, I mean, that was really the point. It’s, it’s It’s been very interesting how it’s all kind of, not consolidated. What is it? It’s kind of crystallized in this idea of like everything that we’ve learned about. It hasn’t been like one episode was what changed my life, although you could probably I would argue that Breyer did a big,
[00:19:41] Missy: changed a lot of people’s lives. I think I have another friend who just used her teachings. Yeah.
[00:19:45] Susanne: oh my gosh, Breyer’s amazing. Um, but I think it’s just, it was taking a little bit from each episode and pulling it together and having it repeated and smashed into my head a few times about, I think especially the idea of. What is it called this skill blocking or something like that? Obviously it really stuck with me, but I can’t remember the name of it.
Well, there’s upscaling, but there’s also this idea of breaking down what your skills are. And also breaking down what the things that you like are and then taking a look at different jobs and saying what, what elements of these jobs do I like that matches up with each of those things, my skills and the things that I actually enjoy doing because I spent probably the first year of this podcast.
Being pretty sure that I was never going to go back to advertising and I probably, I hope none of my clients start with the first few episodes because I
[00:20:52] Missy: in there. I come around to it.
[00:20:54] Susanne: oh my gosh, no, I mean because it really was, I, it wasn’t necessarily that the Career wasn’t what I was interested in. There’s very many parts of it that I’m interested in.
I love the data analytics part of it. I love the clients and interacting with the people. I love the project management aspect of it and managing the schedules and stuff. So those are things that I really, really enjoyed. The elements I did not like in the previous iteration of my advertising job was all of the travel and it was, you know, the 70 hour weeks and it was, you know, XYZ, other elements
[00:21:30] Missy: we are right now.
[00:21:32] Susanne: Yes, that do not, the big long drives to work, those types of things. So it, when I actually broke down the pieces of different jobs, I realized. Wasn’t necessarily the quote unquote job that I didn’t like it was this part of it and not necessarily All jobs are created equal in a particular field. not all agent ad agencies are created equal to
[00:21:55] Missy: Absolutely not. No.
[00:21:58] Susanne: mentality of And like I was just saying, the culture at Creative Noggin is very much, if that would have been what I had, you know, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, I, I may have not even left work in the first place.
Right. so
[00:22:15] Missy: all have. We carry the past traumas of workplaces. Like, we’ve all had bad experiences. I don’t know anybody who hasn’t had at least one horrible job. And you carry that with you. And so you had to do the work to figure out, like, to unpack that and then figure out where you could go from here. And I think that’s so great. And I think that’s something we’ve learned. I’m doing, that’s what I’m doing right now is putting on paper, like, what have I done? What are the skills I’ve gotten from there? And how do I want that to translate to what, what I’m doing going forward? It’s a crazy process to try and sit down and remember all the things you’ve done,
[00:22:52] Susanne: And I remember we’ve had a few guests who have told us to do that. And I was like, no, I just know I don’t, I don’t want to do that. I never want to do that again. And I’m glad that it took a few coaches coming on and, you know, repeating the same thing for me to be like,
[00:23:08] Missy: Mm hmm. Okay, I have to do that.
[00:23:11] Susanne: Um, and I probably, you know what, I probably, I don’t know.
If it would have been the same type of culture and the same type of processes of other places I’d been, then it probably would have just reinforced that nope, agency work isn’t for me. So maybe that was just a fact of really hitting the sweet spot of a workplace that shares my same values. Um, but then that’s all part of the, all the values exercises and stuff that we’ve talked about in several episodes too.
So. Yeah,
[00:23:41] Missy: hopefully it’s a sign that some of this workplace culture, I’m sure not everywhere, but it’s changing. And we’ve talked about it in many episodes, but COVID made a big impact on that and People are realizing there’s, there’s more ways to do this than just the traditional, you should live and die for this job and you should be here 70 hours.
And if you have a family, then you’re not any good to us. I think that I’m sure it exists in places still, but I think it’s maybe becoming less the norm. I hope,
[00:24:11] Susanne: I hope so. I
[00:24:13] Missy: or at least we know that that’s what we are looking for. We deserve it.
[00:24:18] Susanne: So, yeah, I’ve got to say that after what, two and a half years of doing the podcast and trying to figure out a whole, it was so funny because I mean, one of the points I thought it was going to be a pivot, like type pod. of like, trying to uncover this secret career route that, you know, was this ideal route.
And it was going to be a big surprise, you know, there was going to be this big reveal of like, you really should have been a neurosurgeon or, I And so it’s, I don’t know if it’s laziness or just serendipity that it all ended up coming back to, you were doing what you should have been doing all along.
You were just doing it at the wrong place, apparently, so, um, but
[00:25:04] Missy: mean, for some people, it may be a big pivot. That may be what comes out of the process of going through this. I’m finding, and I think we’ve found in some episodes, you know, the big pivot comes with There’s a lot attached to that. It usually requires some different education, at the very least a different kind of certification.
and that’s fine. I mean, if that’s, that’s where you’re led, like there are opportunities for that. Um,
[00:25:26] Susanne: and that being said, a lot of my pivots, which I still am exploring, so I mean, it’s not to say that, and who knows, I might have a different career in a few other years. I don’t know, but
[00:25:37] Missy: have to be one thing.
[00:25:38] Susanne: exactly, but a lot of the extracurricular, like volunteer work and other contract work and stuff that I have done.
Over the years that were not aligned with advertising, like my Informed Parents of Austin stuff, doing the podcast, all helped lead me to get this particular role because it happened to do with a client that was around Careers and coaching and those types of things. So it was just happened to be really aligned.
so I do say that just kind of explore what’s interesting and as long as you’re having fun with it and just like the podcast, we do not want this to end just because I have this job now doesn’t mean I don’t want to continue to help other people explore and can learn myself about interesting things that moms can do.
Um,
[00:26:26] Missy: lot of jobs out there. Do you think, you know, we’ve said this before too, but I think when we were out getting jobs for the first time, life was not presented to us that way.
[00:26:36] Susanne: yeah.
[00:26:36] Missy: And, and I have, I read a statistic recently and I won’t say it cause I’ll butcher the number, but it was something like if you asked high school kids, current high school kids, to name as many jobs as they could think of.
The average number was 12. They could think of 12 jobs and most of them were the traditional doctor, lawyer,
[00:26:55] Susanne: Oh, my
[00:26:56] Missy: they, you know, sales kind of job. But there are thousands and thousands of kinds of jobs. There are so many jobs that don’t even require a degree. Um, you know, there’s a lot of paths out there to success.
And I think we’re still kind of doing a disservice to kids if they can only name 12. But I know when I was going through school, I thought of a fraction of the things available to me,
[00:27:21] Susanne: Well, even six months into Zoe’s college planning, we had never even heard of medical illustration, and who knows,
[00:27:28] Missy: never heard of it until you told me about it.
[00:27:30] Susanne: know, but that may not, you know, who knows if that ends up being her career, but it’s her current major, and I mean, who would have thought, I know, I was like, what?
There’s something that like overlaps all her interests in this one field? Fascinating. Um, so yeah, so explore, Do all those volunteer gigs, do the, do, well, do all the volunteer gigs that you find really interesting and that excite you and that light you up, or invent your own, as the case may be for Foreign Parents of Austin.
Um, so yeah, everything kind of led me to where I am, which I’m enjoying very much now and that’s going to lead me to whatever the next thing is and it’s all just very exciting. And you know what? It’s awful fun to get paid. Ha, ha, ha.
[00:28:16] Missy: I’m real excited about that
[00:28:17] Susanne: Oh, my gosh, I’m
[00:28:20] Missy: having, like, you have a kid in college. I will have a kid in college soon, and, uh, I’m super, super excited, and that’s some of what we want to talk about in upcoming shows. Like, we’re in different places in our lives than we were. When we started this show during the pandemic, the height of the pandemic, a lot has changed since then.
And we have these different perspectives. And so now there’s a lot of different kinds of guests that we are looking forward to having on to talk about those
[00:28:48] Susanne: so excited. Yes. Well, and if we do have a, well, we should probably let people know, we’re going to be probably changing our pace as we are getting our momentum back after being off for a couple of months that we’re going to be doing every other week for the foreseeable future. We will see where that goes.
We’re going to see. See what brings us joy and we’ll, we’ll adapt and edit from there. Um, but super excited that some of the upcoming episodes and apologies to these guests whose shows have been in the hopper for months. And, uh, if any of their timely offers have passed by, we apologize.
[00:29:26] Missy: Do you have new offers? We’ll reach out to them if they have new offers.
[00:29:28] Susanne: we will,
[00:29:29] Missy: put those out.
[00:29:30] Susanne: but Emily Hay from Hay There Media was particularly helpful for me because she talks a lot about, especially around social media, but about the idea of freelancing, which is just a whole different conversation.
Ball game for someone who is either been a not working or be working, you know, a 40 hour
[00:29:49] Missy: Right. A
[00:29:50] Susanne: quote unquote job, traditional role. Um, so it is a different, different animal. Um, in fact, I’m helping some of my friends and this is my shout out brought to you by Paymo. Paymo is my favorite app. I pay 5 a month for it and I would pay a million.
Don’t let them know that. Um, but it is, it’s my time. So for each of my clients, each of them probably have like 20 different tasks or billing codes under each of them. And so it’s not just a matter of like, Oh, I worked five hours on this client today. It’s like, no, I worked 15 minutes on this client’s emails and then 15 minutes on this one’s landing page and then 15.
And so trying to keep track of that is a monster and Paymo. Not only does it keep track of it for me, but then at the end of the month, I just. Click on the end of the beginning of the day and it spits out this beautiful consolidated invoice that I can send for my billing. And then it has all the backup information, however they want to see it broken down by day, broken down by client, breaking down by task.
so it’s just awesome. And I just have
[00:30:54] Missy: love that because that was my least favorite part of freelancing was tracking my time. And when you showed it to me, I’m like, Oh, I can maybe do that again,
[00:31:03] Susanne: Oh, yeah. It’s so,
[00:31:04] Missy: in my decision making process. That is one of the things where I’m like, I hate tracking my time.
[00:31:09] Susanne: mm hmm.
[00:31:10] Missy: And, but Paymo does make it look really easy.
It feels like a Paymo ad, but Paymo changed that forever.
[00:31:16] Susanne: I do love it. It’s the best. It’s kind of, it’s kind of like the canva of timesheets. It’s,
[00:31:22] Missy: Oh, Canva, another one of my favorite things.
[00:31:25] Susanne: uh, so
[00:31:26] Missy: Emily Hayes coming on. Bye.
[00:31:28] Susanne: Yeah, Emily Hayes, come on. And then we’ve got Anne Welsh is the episode after that. And so Anne was around, uh, the topic of parental leave coaching, which I was hoping
[00:31:41] Missy: wish I’d had.
[00:31:42] Susanne: right now. Well, first of all, I wish I’d had that, but then I also have a friend who just went on parental leave.
And so I was hoping I was going to have that one live for her a while ago. Sorry,
[00:31:52] Missy: have just centered the
[00:31:53] Susanne: I could have just sent her the tape. Yes, and I gave her some tips out of it too. So, yeah, that’ll be a really good 1 coming up here.
[00:31:59] Missy: Yeah. So if you know anybody who’s on the verge of taking parental leave, that’s going to be a great episode for them.
[00:32:06] Susanne: Yes. And you know what? I, I would say any kind of leave. So, even if
[00:32:10] Missy: Yeah. Really.
[00:32:11] Susanne: if there is no infant or child or elderly parent, or any special needs that are involved, if you’re just taking a break for your break, um, it’s helping you
[00:32:21] Missy: Good information.
[00:32:22] Susanne: Plan for that pause or for that shift in your life.
So,
[00:32:26] Missy: Yeah.
[00:32:27] Susanne: highly, highly recommend both of those that are coming up. And then, yeah, we’ll just have to wait to hear about the rest.
[00:32:33] Missy: I think we’re going to have some business owners on talking about that and
[00:32:38] Susanne: Some midlife amazing women. Um, yeah.
[00:32:43] Missy: cool stuff. And then like we talked about earlier, some health and wellness, and I’m very interested in exploring some of this, like when your life is, I don’t want to say upended, that feels dramatic, but my life changed drastically, quickly. And, or not my life, my body, I don’t know,
[00:33:01] Susanne: That’s your life. It is your life. Yeah.
[00:33:04] Missy: lot happened.
And so I’m really interested now in, you know, coming back from that and what that looks like. And I know I probably haven’t done it all quite right, but we’re going to have some experts come on and talk to us about that mindset and the shift and how you, how you get back to whatever, I don’t know, I don’t like to say normal, but you kind of get back to whatever it is you’re going back to,
[00:33:27] Susanne: Yeah. And especially if where you’re going back to is a workplace, I’ve got to imagine that enters some, some other complications or just some nuances to think about. So
[00:33:38] Missy: And like, it’s like a phase, my phase of life is so different. I do not recommend, if you have a choice, I do not recommend turning 50, which I haven’t yet, but it’s coming in soon, um, turning 50, sending your first child off to college and having cancer in the same year. I don’t recommend it. Yeah.
Zero out of 10 stars in a real mind fuck. Um, so, yeah, it’s a lot. So we’re going to talk to some experts about what to do when everything just feels really different and trying to wrap your head around it
[00:34:11] Susanne: Yes. Oh, my gosh, I’m so excited. And you know what? We’re going to be kind of selfish this year about answering some of the questions we really want answers to and bringing on coaches for those. But we want you all to be selfish too. So definitely either in the socials or reach out to us, let us know, um, some of the things that you want to hear about some questions you want to have answered.
I know I’ve had a friend reach out specifically. She’s managing a team of people who work from home. so not even necessarily. freelancing part time, but a full time workers working from home and trying to navigate the ins and outs of that, the different ways of managing your time around that, how to avoid any pitfalls when you have two of you working from home, how do you divide the space or how are you managing the division of labor around the house?
[00:35:02] Missy: It’s just the bandwidth, like the internet bandwidth, like just as we started. I was like, Mark’s getting off any minute and he’s going to leave the internet and mine will speed up. How do you have enough juice coming into your house to do that?
[00:35:14] Susanne: Yes. So working from home is going to be probably something, again, kind of a new reality post COVID that people are running into more and more of like how to make this work for me, how to make your space work for you, how to make your time work for you. I spent two days last week cleaning out this, What do we call it, our closet office?
[00:35:35] Missy: our Clawfice
[00:35:36] Susanne: And it’s so silly, I’ll just send a picture of it, one of the small things for the past three years, I have been balancing this laptop right here on a box. I think it was the box that my microphone came in. Yes, just in case I need to return it.
[00:35:52] Missy: by the
[00:35:53] Susanne: It is a good box. In fact, I may, now I did, I finally recycled it.
But I realized I’ve got this, I was like what could I put it on that’s a little more elegant and I put, oh actually I probably should, I was wondering why I’m a little off from usual, oops I gotta pull it up, but I’ve got a little cute wooden um jewelry box that was always shoved behind a bunch of like shirts and stuff in the closet and so I took the time to clean out and organize that and now My laptop sits on top of that, so when it’s not in use, I don’t have this microphone box just sitting on my dresser for an
[00:36:29] Missy: It
[00:36:29] Susanne: amount of time.
[00:36:30] Missy: my Clawfice is, oh. I mean, not to make excuses, but for a while, it was really hard for me to reach and lift.
[00:36:38] Susanne: yeah, that’s not an excuse. That is legit.
[00:36:41] Missy: I can’t even really do justice to what I did in here, which was just kind of throw things in places and I hung things like the easiest place to reach.
So my clothes are all crammed in weird places. And so now I can reach and lift and I need to come in here and just reset. I need a big reset.
[00:37:00] Susanne: Yes. You know what? I was just talking to a friend’s mom about She had had, uh, mastectomy years, decades ago, and that range of motion point, she’s like, she was so mad, she said, I can’t believe no one told me, how Big of a deal that was going to be that I can’t lift my arms more than, you know, a few inches for quite a long time.
And she was, so I do think, again, we keep on saying we need to have that dedicated episode, but I think there’ll be, some really good points that are brought up just so, cause I’m sure when that happened to you, you were like, well, surely something must be wrong. Like there, this can’t be something that happens.
[00:37:39] Missy: I was warned and actually I was, I was told my restrictions would be even more extreme than they were, but I was told to prepare to have T Rex arms
[00:37:47] Susanne: Yes.
[00:37:48] Missy: a while. And, um, I was terrified actually because it sounded horrible and my surgeon’s a little more liberal with that and as soon as she saw that I had healed to a certain point, she was like, you can’t hurt it. You need to go and do. And of course at the time I was like my, I could get my arms about here and she’s like, Oh no, you need to be doing more. But even so I had to advocate hard to get into physical therapy because she thought I could just do it on my own.
And maybe some people can, but I knew myself, I was going to be afraid to like do too much. And even though she said you cannot hurt it, do whatever. I still was afraid, um, so I had to advocate hard to get physical
[00:38:28] Susanne: Good for you.
[00:38:29] Missy: get into physical therapy, which is a whole other thing.
Um,
[00:38:33] Susanne: Yeah,
[00:38:34] Missy: I mean, it was stunning to not be able to do, like, I couldn’t wash my hair because I couldn’t get my hands up there. And guess what? Mark, not a great hair washer. Not so good at it.
[00:38:47] Susanne: Oh, I think we cut the part out earlier where we said our sons had such beautiful curly hair because of, because of not washing it. It’s so fun, the less they wash it, like the curlier and more beautiful it gets.
[00:39:01] Missy: Right. Yeah, don’t kiss him on the head, but it really looks cute.
[00:39:04] Susanne: It doesn’t work for us as well. Oh my gosh. Okay, so is there anything else we need to let people know about what’s coming up here?
[00:39:12] Missy: I think so. We’ll put it on the socials too, but for real, if anything we’ve said, like, sparks something in you and you know an expert or somebody that we should talk to, let us know. And if there’s anything you want us to talk about, Let us know, because we have an exciting year, it’s wide open in front of us.
We can do all kinds of great mom and dot, dot, dot things.
[00:39:33] Susanne: Yes. And if you do not bring it up, like I said, we’re getting selfish this year. We’re bringing in everybody for stuff that we specifically want to know about. So,
[00:39:42] Missy: I mean, if we want to know about it, surely at least a few other people want to
[00:39:46] Susanne: Well, certainly, cause you know what? I really do think once you get to kind of this stage in life We all have like the same six things we care about.
So I’m sure if we care about it, y’all care about it too. Sorry if you’re some 22 year old who just stumbled in here. All the lessons will be really relevant except for, well, you know what? You can never start planning for menopause too
[00:40:08] Missy: I was getting ready to say, the more knowledge you have before you get to that perimenopause place, the better, so if you think, oh my gosh, it’s so far away from me, it’s coming sister, and you need to know about
[00:40:21] Susanne: We’re going to scare them away.
[00:40:23] Missy: you know, it’s coming, and it’s great, it’s fine, you’re gonna like it,
[00:40:26] Susanne: You’re going to love it. It’s the best. You’re warm all the time. It’s cool. Okay. So I think that is it. We’re going to post this and then in, uh, we’ll see how ambitious I am. I was going to say it’s going to be two weeks after that. We’ll post the next episode, but it’s such a good one.
[00:40:44] Missy: our
[00:40:44] Susanne: Okay, every two
[00:40:45] Missy: should like get on our schedule, that’s good for everybody,
[00:40:48] Susanne: Okay, we’re getting on a schedule, you all. Thank you for helping me set boundaries. Look at me. I’m just so excited to share this episode with
[00:40:55] Missy: Which is a downfall we both have, like, we just get excited and we do it. But we’re gonna, we’re gonna stick to a routine so that everybody knows what to expect, including us.
[00:41:08] Susanne: Oh, I gotta tell you. Okay, so I do want to, this is my closing thoughts of like, for the years I had between career gaps or whatever, and the shock to the system of starting back up. Um, not that much more than the shock to the system of going back to after like a one and a half week holiday break like so just, I mean, just any kind of pause.
It is a shock to the system. So I, I just want to encourage people to just know that even people who are working full time jobs, they, they feel that same amount of like, do I remember like how computer works, like there really is, I mean, you don’t, don’t be too hard on yourself for thinking that you’re too far back there.
It’s just that period of adjustment that is a little bit of a shock to the system, but it. It, oddly enough, was not it’s like, gosh, this Monday was,
[00:42:09] Missy: Just as hard
[00:42:10] Susanne: It was, I mean, it felt like starting up a big long train.
Like, it’s just, you got to get the wheels started again. Then once you start cruising, you’re going fine. But it, yeah, it takes, it takes a minute.
[00:42:23] Missy: brain science, more around health and like physical fitness type stuff, but it applies to everything, of course. Our brains desperately want homeostasis.
[00:42:34] Susanne: Mmm.
[00:42:35] Missy: the brain is like a computer and it wants things to stay the same. And so. Even if the change is good and it’s a change you want and it’s in the changes, whether you’ve been off a week and a half and you have to go back to work or you’re changing the way you eat or whatever it is, your brain is like, No, we we do this now, like the last week and a half we’ve done this.
And so this whatever you’re trying to do today is too hard. And so you just have to be really conscious and be like, Nope. We know how to do it. We’re good. Here we go.
[00:43:05] Susanne: And it does not help when you have two teenagers who still have, like, two weeks of vacation left, just, like, leisurely doing the things that you were doing last week. I mean, like, wait a minute! And your brain’s like, well, why aren’t we still doing that? That looks fun.
[00:43:18] Missy: we just going on a hike or watching a movie and eating popcorn? Or, yeah, it’s hard.
[00:43:23] Susanne: nice. But yes, the boy went back to school today.
[00:43:26] Missy: Oh, good. Yeah, mine went back last week.
[00:43:28] Susanne: Saturday. Oh, really?
[00:43:30] Missy: Our district got out, like, Full week before Christmas,
[00:43:33] Susanne: Oh, wow.
[00:43:35] Missy: yeah, or a little more. So we went back last, on Thursday, and everyone else went back this week.
[00:43:40] Susanne: Oh, yes. And it’s, it’s nice. It’s nice to kind of, like you’re saying, your brain likes a little schedule. So I’m sure,
[00:43:47] Missy: quickly adjusts though too, which I think is amazing. Like in that week and a half, your brain went. This is how we do it now. So you just need a few days to be like, no, this is what we do now.
[00:43:56] Susanne: but you know what? This is a nice little reminder because he’s going to be coming from home from school in about a half an hour. And I’m sure that me being all revved up and ready and like have been doing my thing for the past week is going to have that expectation for him. And just, I know a little.
Reminder to be gentle to your littles who are heading back to school this week. And yeah,
[00:44:16] Missy: 17 year old came in yesterday. So day three of being back at school, but it had a weekend in between there. And he said this, it was such a hard day. Like, I felt like I had a little kid that he doesn’t, he doesn’t usually act like that. He rolls with things pretty well, but it’s hard to make that adjustment back.
[00:44:31] Susanne: yes. Especially cause a lot of them are changing classes to mid semester or
[00:44:35] Missy: Mm hmm.
[00:44:36] Susanne: but at the break between the two semesters. So, okay. Little reminder, I’m going to be extra nice.
[00:44:42] Missy: Be extra gentle with them because, yeah, and they hold themselves together all day long and you know, act like good, decent humans and then they come home to us and don’t have to do that.
[00:44:51] Susanne: Yes.
[00:44:52] Missy: It’s hard.
[00:44:53] Susanne: Good reminder to us all to be gentle to our children and gentle to ourselves when making these big transitions in life. So,
[00:44:59] Missy: Their little computer brains struggle.
[00:45:01] Susanne: yes. Oh, well, I got to do a transition back to work.
[00:45:06] Missy: All right. Have a good rest of your
[00:45:08] Susanne: I know I’m going back to work. and so, yeah, good. We’re so excited to be back with y’all.
[00:45:15] Missy: happy
[00:45:16] Susanne: So. oh, you know what?
Glennon Doyle has been saying this a lot. Apparently Apple did, Apple podcasts, uh, did some type of update over the past month or so, where sometimes the podcasts that you were following or subscribed to got, I think it’s like a pause.
I don’t know exactly what happened.
[00:45:38] Missy: I couldn’t find something the other day and I bet that’s why.
[00:45:41] Susanne: Yeah. Well, and Abby Wambach was like, I had to go unpause my own podcast. Like she wasn’t following her own podcast anymore. Um,
[00:45:51] Missy: do a big push.
[00:45:53] Susanne: yeah,
[00:45:54] Missy: Tell everybody we’re back because they might not be able to find us.
[00:45:57] Susanne: Yeah. So just in case you had been following or if you had not been following and this is your first visit, go follow, because we’ve got lots of good stuff coming up and while you’re waiting in between weeks, that gives you a ton of time to go and catch up on some of our past episodes.
Uh, so. We’re so excited to be back. We’re so excited to be with you. Go follow us on all the socials so that you can get all the good information and so you can reach out to us and let us know what you want to hear about this year.
Generation Anxiety – Gaining Control in Uncertain Times
Sep 21, 2023
September 21, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 131 / Guest: Dr. Lauren Cook
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Show Summary:
When was the last time you felt anxious? Did just reading that question bring up some uncomfortable feelings? For many of us, anxiety is more than just a buzzword. This week, we are talking with Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist and the author of GENERATION ANXIETY (available now!), about anxiety and mental health. Dr. Lauren’s expertise lies in helping people understand what anxiety is, where it lives in our bodies, and how we can manage it.
Dr. Lauren Cook is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, company consultant, author, and speaker. With a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and her Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy, Dr. Lauren appears frequently in the media to provide commentary while also working with companies as well as individual adults, couples, families, and teens to help reduce anxiety and improve personal and professional outcomes. She integrates evidence-based tools from a systems lens and she speaks internationally, both in-person and virtually. Dr. Lauren owns a private practice, Heartship Psychological Services, serving all clients residing in California. Dr. Lauren’s latest book, GENERATION ANXIETY, hits the shelves in September 2023.
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Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.
Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.
[00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the MomAnne dot dot dot podcast, the podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. You know, all the little dot dot dots that come after I’m a mom and, and I’m Susanne Kerns a mom and dot dot dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate, and this week I am soaking in every minute of the last week with our daughter living under our roof.
We drive off in a week and.
[00:00:29] Missy: I just can’t even believe it. By the time this Episode is on, she’ll be like settled in.
[00:00:34] Susanne: I know. I know. And I think this may be a really smart thing to do. Uh, we’re going to be driving with her across the entire country for three days, which after that, we may just have had all enough of each other that we’re ready to say goodbye. We’ll see. Or it’s just so amazing that it makes it even harder.
So we will see. But she’ll be back for ACL. Like, yeah, it’s
[00:00:58] Missy: Oh, soon.
[00:00:59] Susanne: Yeah, she’ll be back soon, so that’s
good.
[00:01:02] Lauren: where’s she headed?
[00:01:03] Susanne: is heading to Rochester, Rochester Institute of Technology, so pretty far from Texas.
[00:01:10] Lauren: Oh, that’s amazing. That’s a big milestone moment.
[00:01:13] Susanne: Yes, we’re excited.
[00:01:15] Missy: Well, it’s hard to follow that, but I’m Missy Stevens, mom, and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week I’m just in post vacation recovery and am a hot mess. But we’re getting it all together. Our guest this week is Dr. Lauren Cooke. Lauren is a licensed clinical psychologist, company consultant, author, and speaker with a doctorate in clinical psychology and her master’s in marriage and family therapy.
Dr. Lauren appears frequently in the media to provide commentary while also working with companies as well as individual adults, couples, families, and teens to help reduce anxiety and improve personal and professional outcomes. Dr. Lauren owns a private practice, HeartShip Psychological Services, serving all clients residing in California.
You can connect with Dr. Lauren through TikTok, Instagram, where we met her, her brain health book club, and through her podcast, The Boardroom Brain. And of course, stay tuned for her latest book, Generation Anxiety. It’s back there behind Suzanne set to hit the shelves in September, 2023, which I think this will be airing in September, 2023.
[00:02:20] Susanne: Yes, but we got a sneak peek, yay!
[00:02:23] Lauren: Well, thank you. I feel like this is gonna be a fun conversation. I like the two of you. This is fun.
[00:02:29] Missy: Thank
[00:02:29] Susanne: We like you too!
[00:02:30] Missy: Thank you. We’re so looking forward to it and we’re going to jump right in. We got a picture of what you’re doing in your bio, but we’d love if we could get like a Dr. Lauren one on one to give a snapshot of your career in life. And especially if you had any pivots, like maybe motherhood.
[00:02:47] Lauren: Yeah,
[00:02:47] Missy: Yeah.
[00:02:48] Lauren: like 10 weeks ago, .
[00:02:50] Missy: Oh my gosh.
[00:02:51] Susanne: Oh my goodness!
[00:02:53] Lauren: I know I have a little two month old in the other room and I’m like low key sweating, hoping we. It’s recording without some big tears, but yeah, so I’m a very new mom and, uh, author, psychologist, speaker, and navigating all of those changes happening right now. But, but honestly, it’s been really good. And I was just posting about that the other day of like, I feel like everybody tells you all the, like, really hard parts about being a parent.
And it wasn’t until I got pregnant that people started saying, like, how amazing it was. And it, and, you know, now that I’m in it, I’m like, yeah, this is pretty cool. Like, this is pretty amazing. I’m glad I did this. And regrets. Um,
[00:03:37] Susanne: I have a friend who’s due soon, so I’m going to play that clip for her over and over. I’m glad I did this. I’m glad I did this.
[00:03:45] Lauren: it’ll be
[00:03:45] Missy: Yeah.
[00:03:46] Lauren: So, and I write about that in Generation Anxiety, like, There’s no perfect time to do a lot of things, especially becoming a parent. Uh, and so I’m glad I took the plunge, even if I had a book coming out four months later, like that’s, you know, that’s just the
[00:04:01] Missy: That’s some timing.
[00:04:03] Lauren: isn’t it?
[00:04:03] Missy: You had all your babies at once.
[00:04:05] Lauren: Yes, I had twins this year, like human baby, book baby, you know,
[00:04:10] Susanne: Oh my gosh. And now, was that a straight line for you then? It sounds like your career has been your path, you know, since college. Is that true? Or have there been any pivots in your career as well?
[00:04:22] Lauren: well, I’d say my pivot was more in college. You know, I went in as a biz econ major at UCLA and quickly saw the calculus courses and said, Okay, that’s maybe not for me. And then I got into journalism, actually, like I spent some time at NBC News and E News and thought maybe I wanted to be a journalist.
but, you know, there was a part of me that was really wanting to have that like one on one experience with people and also not travel quite so much at that time. I mean, new journalists, you got to be ready to move wherever they’re going to send you.
[00:04:56] Missy: Right.
[00:04:57] Lauren: So, you know, I thought, Okay, I feel like psychology really marries all those components that I want to have that you.
There’s still that storytelling and that narrative piece in psychology for sure, but, you know, really helping people build on their future and how they want to grow in their lives. And so that’s what really pulled me into psychology. and I love it. It’s been a really, really great path. I, I haven’t met many psychologists that say they regret this career and I’m included in that.
[00:05:24] Susanne: And now, okay, so we want to jump to your new book, which, baby number two, Generation Anxiety, which, I mean, I think every generation has their own anxiety, and we’re going to get to that in a little bit. But before we I think you addressed very early on in the book something that probably a lot of our listeners may be feeling is it feels like sometimes that everybody has anxiety now.
It’s just, it used to be so taboo and no one would ever talk about it, but now it’s like hashtag anxiety for pretty much everything that’s going on in anybody’s life. So how do people differentiate if they are just Feeling anxious about a particular thing, or if they truly have an anxiety disorder, or they are just a human that is living in 2023.
Like how, how can you tell the difference between these things?
[00:06:20] Lauren: Yeah. No, I’m so glad you bring that up because I was just having a conversation about this the other day with someone that it, the term almost is getting overused. You know, everything is anxiety. Is it really though, you know, and we talk about what we call the four D’s. And I think this is a really helpful way to differentiate.
you feeling stressed, worried, which is pretty normal from time to time, or is it something like a generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, OCD, something like that. So four D’s, here we go.
[00:06:49] Susanne: Mm
[00:06:50] Lauren: One, if you yourself are feeling distressed by your experience, if you’re worrying about how much you’re worrying, right, we call that meta worrying, there’s one for you.
If you’re noticing a deviance, and what I mean by that is if we’re looking at a bell shaped curve, a deviance from the norm, so a norm in your own life, for example, where you’re like, ooh, this isn’t how I normally operate day to day, I’m noticing like a real increased reaction here, or deviance in terms of when you’re looking at your peers and people around you.
Ooh, I’m not noticing that everybody else is having a panic attack when we’re out to dinner. For example,
[00:07:23] Susanne: hmm.
[00:07:24] Missy: Yeah.
[00:07:24] Lauren: dysfunction. And I think this one’s really, really key to note here. Are you not able to keep up with the obligations in your life? Are you not able to achieve and work towards the goals that you want to do if there’s dysfunction happening?
And the last we’ve got to normalize this is if there’s any sense of danger, if you yourself are feeling unsafe, if you’re waking up saying. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Or if you’re having thoughts of hurting someone else, those four D’s components of them are present, that’s when we may be meeting more criteria.
But I think that’s something that is really important for us to talk about because yeah, everybody says, Oh, I’m anxious. But do we really understand what that means
[00:08:04] Missy: It is such a buzzword now that I, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t said they are anxious and especially in the last, I don’t know, five years or so. Um, and particularly in the last three. And, You know, I think, I think it’s so great to give that framework to walk through like what is this really doing to your life,
[00:08:24] Lauren: Yeah. And it’s, it’s hard, right? Because I mean, I’m on TikTok myself. I love a good psychology TikTok. It’s hard because we see these 30 second soundbites, right? Of like, here’s
[00:08:35] Missy: right?
[00:08:36] Lauren: of anxiety. And it’s like confirmation bias. Well, I have that. I don’t always sleep through the night.
So I must have anxiety,
[00:08:44] Missy: Hmm.
[00:08:45] Lauren: And on the one hand, it’s so great. We’re normalizing it. But we also don’t want to minimize it either, because for folks living with anxiety, it can be really debilitating.
[00:08:55] Missy: Yeah.
[00:08:56] Lauren: something I write in the book that, you know, it’s not just some casual thing. It can really cause a lot of distress for someone who’s experiencing it.
And so, it’s great. We’re normalizing it, but we also don’t want to minimize it at the same time.
[00:09:10] Missy: No. And you talk a lot about the key to starting to get a grip on all of this is really understanding it and understanding the biology behind it, which I found really, really fascinating. And I’m wondering if you can take a few minutes to talk to our listeners about that because I was eyeopening to look at it from a truly like, this is a biological thing, not all just our world around us.
[00:09:33] Lauren: No, 100%. And there’s two kind of key components of this. So one is that amygdala part of the brain, right? It’s almond shaped, very small. It’s how so, so deep in our brain at the real kind of instinctual level. know, folks who experience anxiety tend to have an overactive amygdala.
[00:09:50] Missy: Hmm.
[00:09:51] Lauren: there are a lot of different things in the environment that may cause some stress for some, but if you’re experiencing anxiety, it’s going to be level 10 for you.
It’s going to be much more intense. On the flip side, you have people who have underactive amygdalas, right? They might be the person like Alex Honnold who free climbs, you know, Yosemite, right?
[00:10:09] Susanne: love that example. That is, that spoke to me in a deep way.
[00:10:13] Missy: I have a couple people in my life who I think maybe don’t have an amygdala, like they just aren’t worried about anything. It’s all mine. I’m like, how?
[00:10:23] Lauren: Total chillers, right? I know. Yeah. And that really can be on a neurological level. You know, the other side of this, and this is something I get so excited about, because we often talk about anxiety from such a heady space. Anxiety is so physical, like it is so housed in our entire body. And we’re really starting to have cool conversations about this gut brain access connection.
of our serotonin is housed in our gut. So it’s not surprising when you hear 60% of folks with IBS also have an anxiety disorder. It’s very closely connected. So it’s interesting as we’re starting to talk about even the foods we eat, the things we drink, how that affects our, body chemistry and in turn our experience of anxiety.
I know for myself, like, healing my gut, that actually healed my panic attacks, more than cognitive work ever did. And obviously, I love some good cognitive work, I’m a therapist, but we gotta look at the whole body when we’re looking at healing anxiety.
[00:11:24] Susanne: Ooh, okay, let’s, let’s tangent there because I find that fascinating and I, I think just like anxiety has been kind of a buzzword, I think gut has also become a buzzword and also a whole industry for people selling all kinds of products that are supposedly going to fix your gut and make it perfect and whatever.
So what are some actual everyday little changes that we can work into our life or at least be more conscious about when we are making decisions about what to put in our body and that could impact our gut and therefore our anxiety.
[00:11:58] Lauren: Yeah, well, I always say start with getting your blood work done. There are so many folks that have not gotten their blood work done, spend thousands of dollars on therapy, and lo and behold, someone had, you know, a B12 insufficiency, for example,
[00:12:13] Susanne: Mm hmm. Mm
[00:12:14] Lauren: times with people who are vegan, for example.
[00:12:17] Missy: Right.
[00:12:17] Lauren: they’ll come in and they’ll say, I have all these ADHD symptoms, brain fog, all these things. Let’s look at B12. So, start with your base, your baseline blood work. That’s really important, especially looking at vitamin D. There’s a huge percentage of people in this country that are vitamin D deficient.
Uh huh.
[00:12:34] Susanne: hmm.
[00:12:35] Lauren: that really can contribute to symptoms of anxiety and depression. So we have to look at all these things, other things that really make a big difference. And all this one is so hard for me because I am such a sugar addict. Like that’s the thing I really have to work
[00:12:50] Susanne: Yes.
[00:12:51] Lauren: It’s so inflammatory in the gut.
[00:12:53] Missy: Right.
[00:12:54] Lauren: look at how that impacts anxiety. And in turn, Alcohol as well. You know, it’s interesting. There’s really a movement lately, you know, sober curious and things like that.
[00:13:04] Missy: Yeah.
[00:13:05] Lauren: back on their drinking and in turn seeing that their anxiety often really does reduce in that process.
so those are some things cut back on the sugar cut back on the alcohol. Stay hydrated, right? Hydration is huge for the brain. We could go on and on about these things. And I have a whole list in the book. But, um, yeah, that’d be a good starting place, I’d say.
[00:13:25] Missy: We’ve talked about this some before in the podcast, but we’ve both cut way back on alcohol. And during the pandemic, we, we ramped it up. We didn’t even realize we were doing it, you know, that like, Oh, well, we’re, school’s closed for two weeks. It’s kind of vacation. Let’s have a cocktail turned into the world is ending.
Let’s have a cocktail turned into this is never going away. Like it got out of control. And of course, it was also a highly. Stressful time in the world. And so anxiety was way up. And I think we’ve both noticed a huge difference in taking that down. We’re still dealing, I mean, COVID is still a thing. There are all kinds of other issues in the world, but like I’m sleeping through the night and it’s a huge, huge difference.
[00:14:09] Susanne: it’s just a cruel part of nature that the things that we think we’re doing to comfort and calm ourselves, like having a glass
[00:14:16] Missy: A cookie and a glass of wine.
[00:14:19] Susanne: to some ice cream. I mean, it’s just like so mean. Like, why would nature make us want those things when it’s so bad for us? It’s not nice.
[00:14:29] Lauren: I agree, I agree. Yeah, those, those things though, like ice cream, yeah, they do like, they trick our brain, right? Because
[00:14:36] Missy: Yes.
[00:14:37] Lauren: have ice cream, but yeah, it’s, it’s, uh, it knows exactly how to get into our brain in that way.
[00:14:43] Susanne: Yeah, my body is convinced that peanut butter puffins were a building block of my ancestral line. I don’t know.
[00:14:51] Lauren: Me and Cocoa Krispies, right
[00:14:53] Susanne: Oh, so good. So good. Okay. But no, I, I do want to echo again that point about getting your blood work done. I had an issue when I was in college. I was down for the count for about two years, which we couldn’t figure out what it was.
I. think it was when my Hashimoto’s kicked in. And so, I had an undiagnosed thyroid issue, which once got that under control, everything seemed to be a lot better. I was like, well, that was a waste of two years in bed. so that was unfortunate and no one ever thought to check. My blood.
[00:15:31] Missy: I mean, that’s
[00:15:32] Susanne: I know. I mean, how I was going to these doctors forever.
So demand the blood work. Same thing. This was not related to anxiety, but when my appendix exploded, um, I went for almost five days. for five days. I do not know how I lived. And at the point when I was going into the doctor they were like, Oh, no, you’re fine. Just go on a brat diet. It’s just stomach upset.
And no one ordered a blood test despite the fact that I’ve been having all these symptoms for a week. So just always Command the blood work and I do know that that is that is a privileged standpoint to take because not everybody has the insurance coverage to be able to do that. And I also noticed, even for those of us who are privileged to have the insurance to cover it that vitamin D test.
Was a huge extra charge. I don’t know if labs are trying to tamper down demand because people are getting it checked so frequently. But I had to have, uh, the doctor before they even drew my blood last time were like, By the way, the, the vitamin D portion of this, do you still want to do it? Because it’s going to be XYZ extra. cost on it. So just be aware of that. Um, make sure that you are aware of what your insurance covers and doesn’t cover. I mean, I felt it was valuable enough to know because it has had such an impact on my life, but, um, just be aware of that. So, we talked about the nutritional advice. Okay. Sugar and alcohol.
I can do that. We can do that, people.
[00:17:04] Missy: can’t do it.
[00:17:05] Susanne: it’s not asking too much.
[00:17:08] Missy: No,
[00:17:09] Susanne: Yes.
[00:17:10] Missy: no.
[00:17:10] Lauren: one quick thing on that, too, because I’m I’m right there with you in terms of accessibility. one company that I really like the work that they do on this is called base, and it allows you to take action to get the blood work that you want for yourself. So you do still have to pay for it, but then you don’t necessarily have to go through a doctor to get that information.
So that can be a resource to for folks because I agree. The accessibility is It’s really frustrating, and that’s something that we need to absolutely make a change with.
[00:17:41] Susanne: Oh, that’s really
[00:17:42] Missy: that information and put that in our show notes so that, because sometimes you do think like, what are my options? I don’t know what to do. Or your doctor won’t order something can be very frustrating to be asking and asking and not get it.
[00:17:55] Susanne: Yeah.
[00:17:56] Missy: Well, we want to pivot a little bit cause I really, we could do three podcasts, I think on just the gut brain connection.
I think it is fascinating, but we have more things we want to talk to you about today. And, one of the things we really found interesting in the book is we are Gen Xers and we are raising Gen Zs, but a lot of our listeners are also millennials raising Gen Alphas and, um, you know, yes, like you. And. We all have these defining moments in our generation that are impacting our anxiety.
What should we be thinking about for our Zs and Alphas that we are trying to raise with a healthy brain and body?
[00:18:32] Lauren: Yeah. So I write a lot about this in the book, this idea of empowered acceptance, because let’s be real. There are a lot of things happening right now that are really scary for our young adults and our kids. You know, I remember distinctly as a millennial. You know, when Columbine happened and that kind of set off a whole trajectory, you know, where now these things happen on a daily basis.
What’s really interesting too, when you look at these studies of what people say are defining moments in their generation, almost every generation, obviously Gen Z doesn’t have a 11th. Was a huge turning point in people’s lives of really feeling like the world is unsafe. The world is changing. I mean, that really set a precedent, especially for millennials, you know, being in elementary, middle school, high school, watching this play out on television was very much a turning point in reality.
So, you know, as we look at these things, we have to accept what is we have to talk about these situations that are happening. We can’t just put our head in the sand and say, La la
[00:19:38] Missy: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:39] Lauren: this isn’t going on, you know, even with climate change, right? We can’t just ignore that. It is in fact getting hotter, right?
We are
[00:19:46] Missy: It is
[00:19:49] Susanne: Especially in Texas.
[00:19:51] Lauren: Yeah, we
[00:19:51] Missy: Yeah,
[00:19:52] Lauren: how hot it is and we can’t just ignore these things, but on the flip side of that, we also have to be empowered in our approach. We have to take action because what we naturally see happen when people experiencing all these sad, scary events. You feel helpless and you feel hopeless, and that leads to anxiety, and over time, that leads to depression.
We don’t want people to be apathetic and say, Okay, this is just what it is. No, we have to say, Okay, I see this for what it is, and I’m going to do something about it. That’s something I get especially excited about with Gen Z. I mean, we’ll see what happens with Gen Alpha, but Gen Z, they are like, uh uh.
Like, I am not going to stand by and just watch the ship go down.
[00:20:36] Missy: Right.
[00:20:37] Susanne: Yeah.
[00:20:37] Lauren: we’re going to rebuild the Titanic as it’s sinking kind
[00:20:40] Missy: Yeah. Right,
[00:20:41] Lauren: So I have a lot of hope, you know, with Gen Z, especially Millennials. We got to get in on it, too. And Gen X. Let’s support our kids and in all of this, you know, to make sure we’re all speaking up about these things, these injustices that we see happening so that it doesn’t feel just so stuck to one generation to solve all these problems.
[00:21:01] Susanne: I know
[00:21:02] Missy: I, do always say I’m hopeful,
[00:21:03] Susanne: yeah, I know my
[00:21:05] Missy: but they’re like, it’s not just me.
[00:21:06] Susanne: fix us, fix us kids. They’re like, you’re the ones that messed it up. Oh, I like that idea about taking action though and how that can help give a little bit more feeling of. control or some autonomy over things.
[00:21:21] Lauren: Mm hmm. Yeah. We have to jump in. And, and we have to do it individually in our own lives. Like, we can’t avoid, you know, I, I talk all the time about not letting anxiety call the shots on your life. You are going to feel anxious sometimes and that’s okay, but we also have to do this collectively as a society too, because people feel so isolated and lonely right now.
And we really need community to say like, Hey, I’m not going to stand by and let these things happen. Let’s be a part of changing things for the better together.
[00:21:52] Susanne: Love
[00:21:52] Missy: a great point.
[00:21:53] Susanne: Come on. Come on, youngsters. Help us.
[00:21:56] Missy: no pressure. Save us all. Mm-hmm.
[00:21:59] Susanne: But okay, so there’s all these external factors that are happening in the environment that we can take actions toward to help improve them. but you know, they still can contribute to anxiety, but I think I don’t know, Missy and I talk about this a lot. I think the biggest number is what we do on ourselves through our own negative thoughts, um, that don’t have anything to do with what’s going on in the outside world, usually.
So how can we address like these negative thoughts that we may be having by also avoiding what I just love that you referred to as the BS of positive thinking. So maybe talk about what you mean about the BS of positive thinking and then also talk about how we can use what, what replaces that positive thinking to, um, help address those negative thoughts.
[00:22:47] Lauren: Yeah, yeah. I hate to say it, but we can’t just positively think our way out of situations, you know? Try as we might. So the brain is hard, right? I say in the book it’s a wild and free agent, and it is. Like, our brain gives us all kinds of wild, weird thoughts all the time. And a lot of people get really anxious about what does it mean that I’m thinking this?
What does this say about me?
[00:23:12] Missy: Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
[00:23:13] Lauren: is just going to do weird, funky things. And that’s the brain. That’s what it does. and most of the time, in fact, they’re negative in nature. They’re ruminative. And so the more we know that about the brain, the more we can stop thinking I’m the weird oddball.
[00:23:28] Susanne: Hmm. Yeah.
[00:23:28] Lauren: and odd, you know, that’s why I say like, I wish people could come to a therapy session and hear what people say behind closed doors, because we’d all realize, oh my gosh, we all are thinking about that time in second grade when we, you know, farted in class or. That time last week when we said that thing and we’re still thinking, what did that person think about my comment?
All these things, right? So we have to really be mindful of that. And this is where I’m a, I’m a big behaviorist, actually, you know, you have to take action in your life to show yourself. That you can live with anxiety, that you are capable. So many people have really bad imposter syndrome because they let their brain just absolutely call the shots on their life.
And the brain’s going to tell you all the time, you’re not ready, you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough, blah, blah, blah. And you have to say to yourself, Okay, I feel anxious. I feel scared. That’s okay. I don’t need to let that stop me from asking that person out on a date or talking to my boss about asking for a pay raise.
And what’s really cool about all of this is that the more you do it, the lower those waves of anxiety are going to be. It’s going to get easier over time and you ride out those waves and see, Oh, I did get through that. The world didn’t end. I survived. And then the brain starts to buy in and say, Ooh, okay, maybe you can do this.
so that’s why I’m a behaviorist more than a positive thinker. You have to show yourself the evidence and then the brain will buy in.
[00:25:02] Missy: I love that so much, and I love what you’ve said about like if other people could hear what was going on in therapy sessions, like, I think because we are more and more isolated in the last few years have been incredibly isolating. You start to get in your head and you’re like, I am the only one.
I had a conversation the other day where a friend just was telling me about something happening in her marriage. Not devastating world ending stuff, just marriage stuff happening. But I hadn’t had a conversation like that in a while. And it made me realize that like, I had forgotten that that’s just normal stuff in a marriage.
So the last time that I had had a moment like that with my partner, I was thinking, well, that’s it. We’re probably, you know, we’ve been married all these years, but we’re probably not going to make it one day more because he’s driving me crazy. And. You have to have those conversations if you can’t get to a therapist individually, what do you recommend for people who are feeling isolated and maybe don’t have the access to a therapist or the means for a therapist?
Like, are there things to do?
[00:26:01] Lauren: Oh, yeah. Yeah. We need to be having real talk with our friends. I had a similar situation with one of my besties, Hannah, where we, we really got real with each other and we need that, you know, so much of the time we’re so just starved on small talk with each other. It amazes me. You know, sometimes I’ll go out to a meal with like on a couple state and we’ll just talk the whole time about what, what are we watching?
What are the cool restaurants in town? Okay, that’s fine. But like, we’re not really going deep and getting to know each other. My husband’s like, well, Lauren, that’s because you’re a therapist. I’m like, know. We really have to get vulnerable with each other and like
[00:26:41] Missy: Yeah.
[00:26:42] Lauren: other on a deeper level.
So I think we’re kind of starved socially in that way. And, you know, I do think not to be too cliche here, but I do think social media plays a part in that where People really just post the highlights of everything that’s going well in life. Um, or they’re posting the real, like, deep, low lights, too. And not always the ordinary mundane, you know,
[00:27:05] Missy: Right.
[00:27:06] Lauren: sometimes life is boring.
And that’s okay. I think sometimes we feel like we need these extremes. the reality is, you know, a lot of the time, a, it’s a normal, boring Tuesday. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean your life is not amazing and wonderful at the same time.
[00:27:23] Susanne: Well, speaking of normal, boring Tuesdays, one of the things that you bring up in the book is this idea of all the what ifs and how they can keep us from trying new things. And then eventually that can turn into then regret for the things that we did not try and we wish we had tried. And I haven’t mentioned this for a while, but for a long time I was talking about There are so many things that I did not do just because I didn’t know where I was going to park when I got there.
Like that, that was one of my big hangups of what ifs of like, what if I get there and there’s no parking or what if I get there and dah, dah, dah, and the most ridiculous thing, but I feel like admitting that like hopefully will let other listeners know that, yeah, that’s just normal. Some people get hung up on really ridiculous things that make no sense.
And then, you know, you
[00:28:12] Missy: real, real worry. Real
[00:28:14] Susanne: but you can problem solve your way out of that in about five minutes. But for some reason, I managed to use it to stop from doing, or even thinking about doing some, you know, some, some things that could have been really fun. so how do then you, yeah, well, you do it a lot in the book.
For people who have not read the book, talk about reframing these what ifs. So that you can try some things that you might really love doing and also just get rid of the potential future regret of not having tried them.
[00:28:45] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think one thing is really important to know that are capable, you know, obviously, we all have different things that can get in the way different things that can make it difficult, right? We have to acknowledge different variability levels, of course. We also have to remind ourselves, though, like, I have capabilities.
I can do different things that maybe my anxiety is telling me that I can’t do. And this part, I think, is really important. I can handle discomfort. You know,
[00:29:14] Susanne: Mm.
[00:29:15] Lauren: have gotten to a place, I think, a lot of times of like, I only want to feel comfort. And a lot
[00:29:21] Missy: Yeah.
[00:29:22] Lauren: happens in the discomfort. And we can live through the discomfort.
You know, I, I see this a lot of times in therapy too. People will experience those things that they’re afraid of. They’ll, they’ll face it either on purpose, like how I have faced my fear of throwing up in therapy actively, or the things that maybe they didn’t plan, but here it is, your partner broke up with you, and now we’re, we’re sitting in the muck of that.
[00:29:45] Missy: Right.
[00:29:45] Lauren: are often really surprised of like, oh wow, like, yeah, this sucks, but like, I’m living through it. I’m getting through it. And our brain, that anticipatory anxiety can be so hard for people sometimes and feel like I could never get through if this and that were to happen. Well, it happens. And then they’re kind of surprised of like, Oh, I’m actually functioning.
I’m getting through it, even though it is hard.
[00:30:10] Susanne: Mm hmm.
[00:30:10] Lauren: that’s important for us to remember, too, that we can sit with discomfort, and it’s often in the discomfort that sometimes really cool, good things come out of that, too.
[00:30:19] Susanne: I want to get that on a T shirt. Yeah, we’ll put that on a pillow for you, Missy. I
[00:30:23] Missy: Yes. Yep. I always want to needlepoint certain things on pillows that I will have guests that say things and I’m like, that’s my pillow this week, but
[00:30:32] Lauren: I love
[00:30:32] Missy: yeah, and like the growth happens in the uncomfortable stuff is really important to remember. I do want it tattooed on my forehead because we don’t want to be uncomfortable. I think about it with my kids, they don’t struggle with anxiety on any level that. You know, do you would think of, Oh my gosh, that’s a really anxious kid. but yeah, they just don’t want to do certain things because it feels scary.
[00:30:55] Susanne: Mm hmm. Yeah. I think mine feel the same way, and it’s because it’s been modeled for them by their mother for the past however many years. Those poor kids. Oh,
[00:31:08] Missy: I mean, Mark and I are very guilty of being like, well, we don’t know what that’s going to be like when we get there. So maybe we don’t want to spend our day doing that because it might be hard when we get there. Yeah. It might suck, but it might be the best thing ever.
[00:31:20] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:21] Missy: Right.
[00:31:22] Lauren: Or it might be boring, too, but like, still an interesting story. You know, like, speaking of those extremes, too, like… It’s okay if it just is what it is, you know, but I think on the whole, it’s pretty cool to try if we can. And yeah, I felt that just this past weekend, we took a trip to Lake Arrowhead.
It’s like an hour and a half and we had, you know, our son in the backseat and he’s crying and. I don’t know. My husband’s like, we shouldn’t have done this. We shouldn’t have done this. No,
[00:31:50] Susanne: Ha, ha, ha.
[00:31:52] Lauren: I’m like, but like we’re teaching our son, hopefully a message of like a little discomfort if he cries sometimes.
That’s okay. Like, someone gave me the I saw, like, a pamphlet the other day that said, Your child should not cry longer than one minute. And I’m like, Oh man! Okay,
[00:32:10] Missy: it takes longer than one minute to get from point A to point B when you’re crying.
[00:32:14] Lauren: like, am I not supposed to drive a vehicle then for the next, like, year? So, like, we have, I mean, even at a young age, like, it’s okay, like, if we feel discomfort, it’s okay if our kids feel discomfort. That doesn’t mean we’re bad parents. You know, because our kids get a skinny, you know? That’s a great book, by the way.
so we have to, we have to embrace the discomfort, for sure.
[00:32:36] Susanne: okay. Speaking of discomfort, one of the things that causes us a lot of discomfort is saying no to people. It’s setting boundaries. And I don’t want to break any rules by like reading too many things out of the book. Let’s
see. Oh, do I have my readers here, Missy? see, because you talk a lot about how to tell if you are a people pleaser.
You know, a
[00:33:01] Missy: Am I a recovering people
[00:33:02] Susanne: have been too bad of an idea here. Okay, so you can look at the cover of the book while I read this for all of you on YouTube. Okay, so I feel like I need to say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. We do that. And what’s, what’s our little quote that, uh, uh, say no so someone else can say yes or something like that?
I always love that one. often saying yes quickly and then regretting it immediately after. Yes. having trouble confronting others when I’m upset or pretending to agree when internally I really disagree with what’s being said. Oh my gosh. I’d rather feel overwhelmed than disappoint someone.
I mean, check.
[00:33:45] Missy: That is, used to be me, that is my husband to a T.
[00:33:48] Susanne: Really?
[00:33:49] Missy: Oh my gosh, he does not want to disappoint. Well, he’ll disappoint me if he doesn’t want to disappoint. Like anyone, if he tells somebody he’s going to do something, he would rather drown than disappoint them.
[00:34:01] Susanne: Yes, I get that. And then another one that I don’t know, I think this, I’ve been trying to model this for my, my kids recently, and it’s really hard, but, um, I’m friends with people who I don’t really enjoy being around because it’s easier to go along with, than end of friendship. Uh, so yeah, that can be a big.
a big version of people pleasing. And it is something that I had been modeling badly, for my kids. Um, and it’s, it’s hard to tell them because you feel like you’re being judgy.
[00:34:33] Lauren: Mm hmm.
[00:34:35] Susanne: sometimes it’s just a case of like, uh, the chemistry isn’t there, or, you know, it’s just, we don’t have the same values.
And that doesn’t mean that their values are bad, but it just doesn’t align with mine. And that causes. you know, this emotional conflict that, you know, it’s just, I can have other friends that don’t cause that and spend time with them instead. well, for those of us who are going check, check, check, check, check, is there hope for us?
And, uh, what are some good ways to start boundary setting, especially as school is starting back up and we’re going to be getting asked to be on this committee or to sign up for this room mom or to do, do, do. Do so like, how, stop us, stop us. My, my husband used to take all the pens out of my purse before I went to the class meetings.
What’s another way that you can stop?
[00:35:22] Lauren: That is amazing.
[00:35:24] Missy: That’s pretty great.
[00:35:26] Lauren: I feel it too. I mean, this, this for me is one of the hardest pieces, this people pleasing. I think especially, you know, for those who identify as women, it is like ingrained at a young age of like, Be accommodating, you know, it even gets associated. It’s like, are you a good person or are you a bad person?
You know, these like very extremes that really like on an unconscious level, I think sink in for people So one coming back to that discomfort piece get comfortable saying no sit
[00:35:55] Susanne: Mm hmm. Yes.
[00:36:05] Lauren: yes or no to this?
Will I feel relief for saying no or will I feel excited to say yes, know, pay attention to what that data is for you and give yourself just that pause. You know, I think especially with people pleasing, we get what’s called those, you know, permeable boundaries where we take on anything and everything and then we really feel burned out and resentful in that process.
So as we’re doing that again, sit with the discomfort, give yourself that 24 hour window. Don’t immediately say yes. me think about it. Let me get back to you on that. and to your point too of what you were bringing up about, you know, friendships that maybe aren’t a good fit. Friendship breakups, honestly, I see giving people more anxiety sometimes than like a dating breakup.
Sometimes
[00:36:51] Susanne: Yes.
[00:36:53] Lauren: hard to break up and in relationships with a friend. So one thing I think is really important here is clearly Really communicate if something is not working for you. People actually much more appreciate an honest answer, even if it’s hurtful, if you just ghost on them.
Because a lot of times with people pleasing, I’m uncomfortable, so I’m just going to run away from this. And then the other person is left ruminating, well, did I do something wrong? What, what happened? It’s better to clearly communicate, you know, than to, you know, ghost on someone. And then that leads to their own anxiety as well.
[00:37:28] Susanne: Oops. Okay. I did that wrong.
[00:37:30] Missy: like, I think I have created a wake of anxiety behind me at times in my life.
[00:37:36] Susanne: Oh my
gosh.
[00:37:37] Lauren: in the water is bad, bye! Have fun with
[00:37:39] Missy: Just like, I can’t handle that anymore. I’m gone. But then I leave behind me this mess. And yeah, it’s really hard for a people pleaser to be up front and communicate and say, this is not, this is not serving either one of us anymore. Like, and that’s okay. It’s okay.
[00:37:58] Susanne: And I love the idea, sitting in the discomfort of no’s and having enthusiastic yes’s. It’s so funny because that’s one of the main rules of, well not a rule, but for like comprehensive sex ed, is to like have an enthusiastic yes. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s a no. And so I, I think that that rule should apply through everything.
And I think that’s a, Another important lesson for kids to get. It’s not just about sex ed, it’s about ed for all things in life. That, if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it’s a no.
[00:38:32] Missy: And The taking the time to answer. I just think that needs to become standard. Whatever it is, no one should ever demand an answer of you right away. You say I need 24 hours or a week or whatever it is to look at this, then that’s the gift you are to be given.
[00:38:48] Susanne: yeah. Just, okay.
[00:38:51] Missy: I hate that we have to move
[00:38:53] Susanne: have a really big pillow. I have so many things I need to put on this pillow, Miss C.
[00:38:57] Lauren: 100%.
[00:38:57] Missy: I really hope that everyone will get the book. And to that end, where is the best place to find the book? We’ll put all of your socials in the show notes, but is there a central location for finding the book? Where can they order it?
[00:39:09] Lauren: Yeah, so you can buy the book wherever you like to buy books, whether it’s an indie bookstore, Amazon, Target, whatever you like. If you go to drlaurencook. com, you’ll see the Generation Anxiety page there, and there’s all different things that you can do, free downloads and things like that to build off the book.
but, Yeah, I’m so excited for people to get their hands on it. September 19th is the day. And if you prefer audio, I did the audio recording of the book myself. I fought hard for that because there’s a lot of my own story of anxiety in there. So I think I was like 38 weeks pregnant when we recorded And I was like, Oh, please don’t go into labor.
[00:39:47] Susanne: Oh my gosh. The second half of the book is like just some dude.
[00:39:54] Missy: Dr. Lauren is in the hospital.
[00:39:57] Lauren: Right?
[00:39:58] Susanne: Oh my gosh, good for you though, oh my gosh, talk about being a mom and dot, dot, dot doing it all.
[00:40:08] Missy: And also, I just find, I keep getting examples of this in my life lately. So I feel like it’s one of those things the universe is bringing me, but for so long, I feel like women have been relegated to, well, Oh, you’re pregnant then, Oh. You can’t, or you’re a mom and you can’t, and I mean, that’s why we started this podcast.
You are a mom and dot, dot, dot. You can be 38 weeks pregnant and record your book and you can have your baby and then launch your book. You can do all of that.
[00:40:35] Susanne: Yes.
[00:40:36] Lauren: Missy, thank you. That’s really nice to hear. Yeah, yeah. We can do it. And it’s gonna be like messy and not perfect, but… Damn it, we’re going to do it.
[00:40:46] Susanne: Yep,
[00:40:46] Missy: do it.
[00:40:47] Susanne: we can sit in
[00:40:48] Missy: stop listening to that external stuff going, Oh, Oh no, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe you, you have kids. Don’t do that.
[00:40:54] Susanne: Yeah, and the internal stuff that we’ve created because of the external stuff being pounded into generations of brains. So yes.
[00:41:02] Missy: Right. And again, our brain going at us with the. You can’t. That’s scary. Don’t do
[00:41:07] Susanne: hmm. Mm hmm.
[00:41:09] Missy: Mm
[00:41:10] Lauren: you can do it. You can have a career and be a mom. Like, I am a huge advocate of that because a long time in my life I didn’t believe that was true and that is absolutely not the case.
[00:41:22] Missy: hmm. Absolutely not. You go do it, moms. You can do it.
[00:41:25] Susanne: Oh, whoops, I was going to point to the book, but I put it down when I was quoting it. All right. Generation anxiety, y’all. So yeah, by time this airs. They’ll be pretty darn close to being able to get, if not already. But pre orders are fun.
[00:41:38] Missy: Pre
[00:41:38] Susanne: the gift you give, yeah, pre orders are the gift you surprise yourself with later, because you forget you ordered it, and then you get it in the mail, it’s like you get a little present, so do it now.
[00:41:47] Missy: And it’s so good for the author. Pre orders are fantastic. but it is now time to close up with look, listen, learns, and for anyone who is new here, we’re so glad you’re here. And we hope you come back and listen again.
And the look, listen, learns. Our segment we do at the end of every week, something fun. We talk about what we’re watching, reading, learning might be serious, might be ridiculous. You never know what you’re going to get. And we don’t like to put our guests in the hot seat. So Suzanne, you get to go first. What are you LL ing this week?
[00:42:15] Susanne: Let’s see. I am looking at, I have a ton of new framed artwork. I will give you the photos to put in the show notes, Missy.
[00:42:24] Missy: I saw you were going to talk about this and I need this information because I have a stack of stuff
[00:42:28] Susanne: oh my gosh, I have spent, okay, so my husband bought out, it was an Antones. It was some, I think it was Antones, and they had all these cool concert posters, like signage. We literally have a brunt sign of our booth in our kitchen, um, like exit signs, all kinds of stuff. So a bunch of this was posters that he had gotten.
Um, and. They just weren’t looking right in my 5 Ikea frames and, and, you know, especially with this Willie Nelson, one that was over the fireplace that we just. It needed a little something special to highlight it and I had been looking through second hand stores and Goodwill and like some would be kind of the right size but like what are you gonna do with the matting and blah blah blah or not quite right I so I just was googling like vintage frames in Austin and I came across a vintage framing studio Which is it’s one woman She works out of her garage.
And so she basically goes and gets all these old, all the good stuff from either, you know, I think she says she clears them out of like, what are those things called? The storage units. When people are cleaning stuff out, she’ll go and get it from there, or she’ll get them from consignment shops. And so she just has.
All these frames that you can choose from and then if anything doesn’t quite fit right, she also does the matting and you can choose all the different custom matting to go with it. And of course, if you’re like me, you have a lot of frames that have broken glass in them. Um, so she’ll cut the glass and she’ll reuse glass from other things.
So it’s a lot of reduce, reuse, recycling going
[00:44:06] Missy: I love it.
[00:44:07] Susanne: And so we just went there. It was hot, but because it’s in her garage,
[00:44:14] Missy: writing it down, not like I won’t have access to this information later, but I’m writing it down right now.
[00:44:18] Susanne: but so we just went through and she pulls out a bunch of ideas. You kind of say what you’re looking for and of course she’s pretty familiar with what she’s got and she’ll pull out some stuff and she’s got like all the little swatches of the different matting that you can choose from so you can mix and match and so Like two and a half weeks ago or so, we just took everything and we’re like, here it is and we found a frame for everything.
We had probably seven pieces, I think. so we were shocked that we were able to find something for everything, but she’s so. I don’t want to say loosey goosey. She’s just kind of, she’s kind of Austin, like, in the sense that, like, we just handed over all these prized posters to her, and she wrote something kind of like on a little steno pad, like, oh, it’s going to be about this much, and she showed it to us.
That sound okay? And no receipt, no everything. We drove away. Chris is like, we are never seeing those again, and that was our big joke for a couple weeks. We’re like, yep, those are on eBay right now. Like, we’re never gonna see them again, but nope. she’s legit,
[00:45:16] Missy: Oh good, because I have a stack. I probably have 10 pieces that need to be done, and I’ve been dragging my feet on it because it’s expensive. I’ve
[00:45:23] Susanne: oh, and that was the other thing, we did all these pieces, I think it was like 300. I
[00:45:28] Missy: made more than that for a piece
[00:45:30] Susanne: I know, I know. And so that’s the matting, that’s the glass, that’s the frame, that’s the everything and all her consultation and help that, I mean, she’s probably spent at least an hour with us going through and trying to decide and make these decisions.
So love, love, love her vintage framing studio. she also had a bunch of random like vintage clothes kind of in the yard too. So maybe you get some clothes while you’re there too. I don’t
[00:45:57] Missy: All right. That’s always good.
[00:45:58] Susanne: I celebrate all of it. Um, let’s see. And I’m listening to the Covenant of Water. I’m a little confused. I think I may have fell asleep on the Plain because we’re in a different country now, and I’m not quite sure how we
[00:46:10] Missy: You don’t know how you got there.
[00:46:12] Susanne: So I went and kind of read something online that I think clarified it. I do need to let you know, it is 31 hours. And that was like, I did not know that when I downloaded it. I was just like, Oh, people say this is good boop. And then I was like, Oh my God, it’s 31 hours. And then I was so I was freaking out.
I yelled that at my husband while I had my headphones on. And then I was like, Oh my God, it is narrated by the author, which I love for nonfiction. But for fiction. I sometimes, I’m like, no, just go ahead and let the pros do it.
[00:46:41] Missy: You gotta pro do it.
[00:46:42] Susanne: yeah, nonfiction. I love it when I actually greatly prefer that it’s read by the author.
But for this is the first time I’ve read fiction read by the author and, but it’s been okay. It’s fine. It’s fine. But just be know you’re, you’re in the, for 31 hours of, if you’re doing the audio book. Um, and then my learn is that, no duh, Seattle summers are much better than Austin summers. We just got back from our week in Seattle and Washington coast and, oh my god, we really need to get a summer house, once the kids, or even before, I don’t know.
You know, the problem is the dogs. It’s not even the kids. We could totally
[00:47:21] Missy: you’ve got to drive the dogs
[00:47:22] Susanne: yeah, what are we going to do with these dogs for the summer? So that’s the problem. Um, any. Other than that, I just, yeah, we need to get out of here for the summer. All our neighbors do. We’re just completely surrounded by empty homes for 3 months because they all go away to hang out with their kids or whatever.
[00:47:38] Missy: We won’t share your address. Empty homes.
[00:47:41] Susanne: no, actually, they do have house sitters, but they’re not the people that we can hang out with on the patio. Um, so, yeah. I’m jealous of all you Seattleites. I know come November. We’ll be happy. We live here, but oh my gosh, not right
now. But yes, what do you look listen, learn and Lauren?
[00:47:59] Lauren: Oh my goodness. Well, we are very into the show The Bear right now.
[00:48:04] Susanne: Yes.
[00:48:04] Lauren: Yes. Have you both watched it?
[00:48:06] Missy: Yes.
[00:48:07] Susanne: Okay.
[00:48:07] Lauren: Okay. Yeah.
[00:48:09] Missy: What episode are you on?
[00:48:10] Lauren: We just started season two.
[00:48:13] Missy: Okay. Okay. You’re in for a treat. It’s just so good.
[00:48:16] Lauren: I can’t wait. I can’t wait. Yeah. We have watched a lot of TV this summer home with the newborns.
[00:48:23] Missy: Yeah. You have.
[00:48:24] Lauren: spending a lot of time there. And, you know, I’m always looking for a great read, obviously, with Brain Health Book Club.
I just read this book called The Power of Fun by Catherine Price.
[00:48:34] Susanne: I
[00:48:37] Lauren: And like we’re not having that much fun lately and like, how do we get back into having fun? It was a bit of a wake up call for me of like, Ooh, I don’t have that much fun. I need to work on this.
[00:48:49] Susanne: just wrote that down. That sounds awesome.
[00:48:52] Lauren: it was good. The power of fun. So I’m coming back to that. You know, coming back from our trip at Lake Arrowhead this weekend, I’m learning like the value of family traditions, especially, every summer growing up, we would spend a week in a beach house rental.
And I want, my son to have family traditions that he looks forward to, too. It’s Such a blessing that both our parents are still alive. And so I want him to like soak up that time with grandparents and, I’m committing to that. That’s important to me.
[00:49:25] Susanne: I love
[00:49:25] Missy: I think that’s so great because it really is special time and not everybody has the privilege of having that. So yeah. Soak it up while you have it.
[00:49:34] Lauren: Exactly. Absolutely.
[00:49:35] Susanne: What about you, Missy?
[00:49:37] Missy: Um, let’s see. So I’m reading. I meant to bring it in here. But again, since I ran and plunked down in my chair, I did not grab the book on my way. But I am reading. There’s No Coming Back From This by Ann Garvin. And Ann was a guest. I
[00:49:50] Susanne: Three
[00:49:50] Missy: been a while now. Yeah, it’s a while now that we’ve had our little break in between.
But, It’s really fun. Very fun. it’s about a woman who takes a job in California on, like in Hollywood, making costumes for a movie. And she has no costuming experience and she’s actually making costumes for animals. Not, it’s not even people. Um, so, and there’s a little mysterious element to it, and there’s a little bit of romance and there’s high stakes because she has to make this work and it is a lot of fun.
I just got back from the beach and I read it on the beach as much as I could. I was with a bunch of girls and women, you know, there’s not a lot of time to read, but there’s a lot of talking. But, um. I highly recommend that book. And then yesterday, speaking of anxiety, I watched After the Bite on HBO Max, or I guess it’s just Max now.
and it’s all about, the increase of sharks off of Cape Cod. And then they’re talking about, is this environmental? Is this because of humans? Is it because we’ve overfished? Is it because we’re overprotecting the seals? And there’s conflicting groups. Everyone has their own opinion. There are people that it’s not until the end.
I’m not really giving a spoiler, but there are people who are like, There’s a lot going on here. The water is hot. We cannot ignore the fact the water is hot and it is changing things So it was very emotional. I thought I don’t know. I thought I was in for like a shark week esque Documentary I should have known it would be slightly better than your typical shark week thing But it was much deeper much more thoughtful and at times really hard to watch so I don’t know if I’m recommending it or not, but It’s really, really made me think, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
So, uh, and if you love Cape Cod, like I do, it’s also like, it’s important to understand what’s going on there.
[00:51:43] Susanne: Yeah, I mean, I read some articles last week about, like, the hot tub temperatures and Florida waters, and yeah,
[00:51:51] Missy: off the coast of Southern Florida.
[00:51:53] Susanne: that’s,
[00:51:53] Missy: in a hot tub, ideal temp is
[00:51:56] Susanne: oh my god, yeah,
[00:51:59] Missy: 102. So just crazy scary. So, um, yeah, watch it or not. I’m not sure if I’m recommending it. It was fascinating though. and my learn is I’m teaching myself some Photoshop. I. I’ve used it off and on through the years, but I needed to do something to a graphic image. And I was like, I can either find someone and pay them, or I can watch tutorials and figure this out.
And, um, I did it. There was some cussing and a lot of sweating, but I did it. And so, and I enjoyed it. I realized as I was doing it, like, yeah, it was stressful because I wanted to get it done and do it right. but it was also kind of fun. So I’m doing. A little bit here and there, like I’m in no rush, but doing some tutorials.
So if anybody also wants to learn Photoshop, I can point you to some people I’ve found on YouTube that are very good at like, do this now, do this like very, like it is step by step. And, and they’re not like, go find the whatever tool they’re like, find the tool. It’s over here. And it looks like this. And this is what I’m like, okay, thank you.
[00:53:00] Susanne: Those are my people!
Show
[00:53:02] Missy: my
[00:53:02] Susanne: the button to press!
[00:53:04] Missy: Yes, and I’m like, I’ve gotten good at rewinding YouTube. I’m like, tell me again, tell me that one more time what I’m going to do.
[00:53:11] Susanne: Play it at 5 speed, I love it. Wait! Wait!
[00:53:14] Missy: like, oh, then I’m like playing it, you know, to the side while I’m trying to do it on my end.
[00:53:19] Susanne: Now,
[00:53:19] Missy: but it is fun.
[00:53:20] Susanne: is there a free version of Photoshop, or do you already have Photoshop?
[00:53:23] Missy: there’s a new free, they have a thing that’s kind of like Canva now.
Um. But I went ahead and did the, like, entry level, bought Photoshop that came with several things, because I think I am going to start playing some more with that, because I enjoy it. And so it’s a skill I can add to my resume.
Who knows where it will go? But I didn’t really realize how much I enjoyed it. And I thought, well, if I had fun, even in the midst of sweating and crying, like, maybe there’s something to that.
[00:53:52] Susanne: You can sit in the discomfort, see? That’s where
[00:53:54] Missy: did sit in the discomfort. That’s true. That’s true.
[00:53:58] Susanne: You did it. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, we have looked, listened, learned some good stuff. I’m going to, the power of fun. And who was our guest? Oh, the real simple editor,
[00:54:10] Missy: Oh, Van Ogtrop,
[00:54:12] Susanne: Christian van Agtrop,
[00:54:13] Missy: Van Ogtrop.
[00:54:14] Susanne: um, who is not actually the real simple editor anymore, that was the previous, but, uh, we had her on. Yeah, we had her on for her book. Gosh, do I have it here? Yeah. Okay. So Christian van, I dropped the author of did I say that out loud?
She was a previous guest, but remember she mentioned that they were doing like a values assessment as a group. I think it was a bunch of. It’s either in some type of coaching thing or part
[00:54:39] Missy: It was a professional
[00:54:40] Susanne: like a company retreat type of thing. And everybody had like achievement and, you know, all these big words.
And she was just like, fun, like, like, is that okay to say? Like she was the only person who had included fun on her list. And so I do think that we, we forget about it sometimes. So the
[00:54:59] Missy: You do. And you’re right. We haven’t had a lot in the last few years.
[00:55:02] Susanne: Yeah, that’s
[00:55:03] Lauren: that
[00:55:04] Missy: Yeah.
[00:55:04] Lauren: playfulness.
[00:55:05] Missy: Yes.
I think it’s Bernie. Bernie Brown. Yeah. It’s Bernie. Brown says the opposite of work is not rest. The opposite of work is play and fun.
[00:55:14] Susanne: And you,
[00:55:15] Missy: is how we restore ourselves. And yeah, I mean, obviously we need to rest as well. I’m a huge proponent of rest, but we need to incorporate just fun.
Just have some freaking fun.
[00:55:25] Susanne: yeah. And part of that though, the fun, like we were talking about is getting rid of the idea of like, well, what if this, what if this? And part of that is addressing our anxiety and helping, Whatever generation you’re in, you are generation anxiety. I know this book is. I’ve got Millennials and Gen Z’s, but I think we can all relate to the lessons in it.
So, uh, highly recommend, uh, being able to get more fun in your life by replacing some of the anxiety and the anxiety causing behaviors that you have. So.
Thank you
[00:55:55] Missy: thank you for
being here. Especially being here with a baby in the next room. It’s impressive.
[00:56:01] Lauren: think we made it.
[00:56:02] Missy: You
[00:56:02] Susanne: You did.
[00:56:04] Lauren: Oh, I think he napped through and my cat was quiet. So got a Siamese too. So that’s a win as well. So,
[00:56:13] Susanne: I am shocked we did not see any cat butt during this interview because that’s usually what happens.
[00:56:19] Lauren: but I know
[00:56:20] Missy: know.
[00:56:20] Lauren: my little like Yogi cat up here, but the Siamese Mochi is sleeping off to the side right now. He chilled out too.
[00:56:27] Susanne: Oh, awesome. Well,
good. High five to all the kitties and babies who are cooperating so that moms can get stuff done today.
[00:56:35] Missy: That’s
right.
[00:56:37] Susanne: Speaking of which, I got to go find some of my kiddos there.
[00:56:40] Missy: Yep.
[00:56:41] Susanne: My daughter has had her license forever and has never had a successful filling up her car with gas trip. I mean, to the point where one time it just started like flooding out of the side of the car.
It like, it didn’t turn off automatically or just things are broken. And we keep on saying, okay, I’m going to go with you one more time. until you have like this good experience. It’s and. It has not happened yet. So I gotta do one more so she can go to a movie. She’s going to college next week. She’s got to be able to get her own gas.
[00:57:12] Missy: Yes, she does.
[00:57:14] Susanne: So we are going to sit in the discomfort of trying to get gas in that car. So wish us luck. Thank you so much for joining us. It was so nice meeting you. And thank you for
the
[00:57:25] Missy: rest of your day. Yes. And thank you for the book. It’s fantastic.
[00:57:28] Susanne: Yes,
[00:57:29] Lauren: so much. Thanks Susanna. Missy. Good to be with both of you.
[00:57:31] Susanne: you too. Have a good week.
Bye.
bye.
Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.
com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at momandpodcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.
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Procrastination, ADHD, and Tools to Help You Take Care of Your Future Self
Mar 09, 2023
March 9, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 111 / Guest: Natalie Borrell Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Our guest this week, Natalie Borrell, is a school psychologist and teen life coach. If you’re thinking that doesn’t sound like the typical Mom &… Podcast guest, you’d be right, and wrong....
How to Have a Kid and a Life with Guest Ericka Sóuter
Mar 02, 2023
March 2, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 110 / Guest: Ericka Sóuter, an Encore Presentation Listen, Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts This week, we have a special treat for you: an encore presentation of one of our favorite episodes with Ericka Souter! We’re sharing it again to help us kick off...
Reframing How You Think About Sex Ed with guest Kara Haug
Feb 23, 2023
February 23, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 109 / Guest: Kara Haug Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: TW/CW: This episode may be triggering for those with sexual trauma. If you are struggling and need immediate help, call 800.656.4673 or visit https://www.rainn.org/resources for resources and live chat options. This episode...
100% Guilt Free Self Care with Guest Tami Hackbarth
Feb 16, 2023
February 16, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 108 / Guest: Tami Hackbarth Listen, Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Our friend, Tami Hackbarth, is back with us this week to talk more about self-care! (Can there ever be enough self-care talk?) Tami has a new book all about erasing the...
Create Your Identity Outside of “Mom”
Feb 10, 2023
February 9, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 107 / Guest: Erin Pepler Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: It was so great to finally have Erin on the show. Longtime listeners may recognize her name as the Hero in the Raspberry Compote Incident at the 2018 Mom2.0 Conference. She saved...
Coping with Grief & Life Transitions with Megan Young
Jan 26, 2023
January 26, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 106 / Guest: Megan Young Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Many of us automatically associate grief with losing someone, but as Megan Young shares with us, grief touches our lives in many ways. We talked with Megan about a couple areas of...
Time Tracking & Taming the Chaos with Guest Laura Vanderkam
Jan 19, 2023
January 19, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 105 / Guest: Laura Vanderkam Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Laura Vanderkam is a time-tracking genius. Over the last seven years, she has tracked her own time and taught people all over the world to do the same. More importantly, she helps...
Time Tracking, Word of the Year and 2023 Kick Off
Jan 12, 2023
January 12, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 104 / Featuring the Hosts Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: This week features Susanne and Missy, sans guest, talking about prep work we’re doing for an upcoming episode with Laura Vanderkam. We’re working on our time management skills, and tracking our time...
Preparing for Maternity Leave & the Post-Baby You
Jan 05, 2023
January 5, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 103 / Guest: Kimberly Didrikson Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Kimberly Didrikson says that she was on a career track she loved, and then once her son was born she didn’t know who she was or where she was going anymore. Sound...
Airing Our Grievances with Guest Jen Mann
Dec 22, 2022
December 22, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 102 / Guest: Jen Mann Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Warning: This episode contains holiday spoilers that may upset young listeners. Headphones recommended! Jen Mann is back! Jen was our very first guest, back in episode 4, and she came back a...
Preparing for a Pivot in the New Year
Dec 16, 2022
December 15, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 101 / Guest: Cait Swamy Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Note: We mention the New Year several times in this episode, but due to some rescheduling/shuffling of episodes, it’s running BEFORE the New Year. Just close your eyes and pretend it’s January...
Supporting Women-Owned Businesses This Season (And Every Season!)
Dec 09, 2022
December 9, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 99 / Guest: Lizz Porter Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: We love highlighting amazing women doing amazing things, and Lizz Porter fits that description perfectly. This we we’re talking about running a business, and doing so while navigating medical issues, major life...
When Motherhood & Career Collide with Guest Ashley Reckdenwald
Dec 02, 2022
December 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 98 / Guest: Ashley Reckdenwald Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Ashley says the collision of motherhood and career was “like an explosion.” We think most of our listeners can relate that sentiment. Her company, Working Mom Notes, was born out of the...
The Thank You Project – A Gratitude Practice For Any Season
Nov 24, 2022
November 24, 2022 Mom &… Podcast Re-Release of Episode 10 Guest: Nancy Davis Kho, Midlife Mixtape and The Thank You Project Subscribe and review wherever you listen to podcasts. In this season of gratitude, we are re-releasing an episode with one of our gratitude heroes, Nancy Davis Kho. Even if you’ve heard the episode, we...
Start More Than You Can Finish with Author, Becky Blades
Nov 17, 2022
November 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 97 / Guest: Becky Blades Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Becky Blades wants us all to be stARTISTs! Her daughter coined the term “startist” when she noticed that Becky had her hands in a lot of different enterprises, from business, to art,...
Salesforce 101: A Huge Relaunch Opportunity for Moms
Nov 12, 2022
October 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 96 / Guest: Heather Black Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: You’ve probably seen Salesforce ads with the cute little cloud, but if you’re like us, you didn’t understand the scope of the company. Our guest this week, Heather Black, is a Salesforce...
Vote! Know Your Rights & Get Involved
Nov 03, 2022
November 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 95 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary This episode originally ran on March 25, 2022. With election day coming up next week on November 8, we wanted to re-run this important conversation with Shellie and Crystal. ...
Friendship in Midlife – With Guest Kat Vellos
Oct 27, 2022
October 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 94 / Guest: Kat Vellos Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Kat Vellos helps people make and maintain connections. In a time where we have access to numerous methods of communication, many people still struggle to develop lasting, meaningful friendships. We had such...
Create Your Just Right Life One “Experiment” at a Time
Oct 20, 2022
October 20, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 93 / Guest: Robbi Crawford Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Robbi Crawford called us cool people, and while we love* hearing that, Robbi is most definitely the cool one. She has a depth and breadth of life experience that she now uses...
Learn How to Plan Your Own Mini-Retreat with Guest Jenny Remington
Oct 13, 2022
October 13, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 92 / Guest: Jenny Remington Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Life Coach Jenny Remington is back! She’s now in the lead for most guest appearances on the Mom &… Podcast. At 3.5 episodes, she is well on her way to the Five-Timers...
Pivoting to Blend Creativity into a Professional Career with Guest Amanda Hill
Oct 07, 2022
October 6, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 91 / Guest: Amanda Hill Subscribe or Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Direct Link to Episode on Apple Podcasts Direct Link to Episode on Spotify Show Summary: What ISN’T Amanda Hill? She embodies the idea of making our ellipses count. It was so fun to welcome...
Creating a Flexible Career You Love with Guest Kristin Shaw
Sep 30, 2022
September 30, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 90 / Guest: Kristin Shaw Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: More About Kristin Shaw: Kristin Shaw grew up attending classic car shows with her parents, and she has a soft spot in her heart for a 1957 Chevy Bel Air, preferably in...
You Deserve Guilt-Free Self Care, with Guest Tami Hackbarth
Sep 22, 2022
September 22, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 89 / Guest: Tami Hackbarth Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Do you feel like you’re out of bandwidth? Like you want to make change in your life, in the world around you, but how and when and with what energy? Tami Hackbarth...
From Data Analyst to Consciousness Coach: Career & Life Transformation, with Guest Dmitria Burby
Sep 16, 2022
September 15, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 88 / Guest: Dmitria Burby Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Y’all. If you read the words Transformational Yoga and Consciousness Coach and were concerned Susanne might be a woo-woo party pooper, rest assured, Dmitria blends just the right amount of data and...
Are you a Hummingbird or a Jackhammer? With Guest Natalia Tamburini
Sep 08, 2022
September 8, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 87 / Guest: Natalia Tamburini Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: After achieving success in several fields, Natalia Tamburini pursued a new path in coaching. She now thrives on helping people learn to enjoy and find fulfillment in their work, without putting pressure...
Enneagram Refresher with Guest Steph Barron Hall
Sep 02, 2022
September 1, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 86 / Guest: Steph Barron Hall Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Content Warning: We use a word that rhymes with textual in this episode. It’s not used in a graphic context at all, but within the discussion about the Enneagram. If you know about...
Get Your Sh*t Together With New (School) Year’s Resolutions!
Aug 26, 2022
August 26, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 85 / New School Year Resolutions Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: We don’t know about you, but even before we were parents back-to-school time was our true New Year, not January. With the exception of the years between graduating from college and...
Building a Life Beyond Labels with Mabel’s Labels Co-Founder, Julie Cole
Aug 18, 2022
August 18, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 84 / Guest: Julie Cole Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: This week’s guest, Julie Cole, was a successful lawyer who left the law behind to start a business. A lot of people in her life thought she was crazy, but she and...
Decluttering Our Closets While Unpacking Some Issues with Guest Judith Gaton
Aug 11, 2022
August 11, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 83 / Guest: Judith Gaton Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Loving what you wear, and knowing why you wear it, starts with your mindset. Our guest this week is Judith Gaton. She helps women become confident in their clothing choices, and with...
Be a Mom Who Dares – with Jodi Silverman
Aug 04, 2022
August 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 82 / Guest: Jodi Silverman Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: This week’s guest was on the cusp of an empty nest, and while she had a thriving business and a family she loved, Jodi Silverman wasn’t fulfilled. She asked herself, “Is this...
Make a Difference Through Simple Acts – with Natalie Silverstein
Jul 29, 2022
July 29, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 81 / Guest: Natalie Silverstein Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: An episode topic close to our hearts this week: advocacy. Not only advocacy, but a discussion about getting the whole family involved. Our guest, Natalie Silverstein, has made giving back a way...
Get Control of Your Family’s Phone Use – With Guest Catherine Pearlman
Jul 21, 2022
July 21, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 80 / Guest: Catherine Pearlman Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen To Podcasts Show Summary: Our guest this week is Dr. Catherine Pearlman, The Family Coach. We are lucky enough to know Catherine in real life, and want all of our listeners to know her, too. We...
Kick-Start Your Midlife with EvolveMe
Jul 15, 2022
July 14, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 79 / Kick-Start Your Midlife with Guests: Founders of EvolveMe, Linda Lautenberg and Judy Schoenberg Subscribe and Rate Our Show Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to Week 4 of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping...
Slay Self Doubt with Katherine Wintsch
Jul 07, 2022
July 7, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 78 / Slay Self Doubt with Guest: Katherine Wintsch Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to Week 3 of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their passions while their...
Prepare for Relaunch with Carol Fishman Cohen
Jun 30, 2022
June 30, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 77 / Summer Camp for Moms with Guest: Carol Fishman Cohen Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to the second week of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their...
Julie Lythcott-Haims: Get Out of Neutral Today
Jun 23, 2022
June 23, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 76 / Summer Camp for Moms with Guest: Julie Lythcott-Haims Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to the first week of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their passions...
How to Create Your Own “Mom Summer Camp”
Jun 16, 2022
Episode 75: Summer Camp for Moms Subscribe & Rate Us Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Today’s mini-episode is a bit of a summer camp for moms. You know how we start planning our kids’ summer camps sometime around Thanksgiving, perfectly curating opportunities that fit our kids’ interests and talents or areas they’re curious about while...
Celebrate Being YOU, From Middle School to Middle Age
Jun 09, 2022
June 9, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 74 / Guest: Wendi Aarons Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts (Search “Mom and Podcast with Susanne and Missy”) June 9, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 74 / Guest: Wendi Aarons Show Summary: This week we talk with our friend and fellow Austinite, Wendi...
Embrace The Work, Love Your Career with guest Fran Hauser
Jun 02, 2022
Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts June 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 73 / Guest: Fran Hauser Show Summary: As two Obligers and Enneagram Nines, we are so happy to know Fran Hauser. In this episode we talk through why it’s good to be nice at work, but also how to...
Gun Violence: Taking Action & Making Change
May 25, 2022
May 26, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 72/ Gun Violence Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Your favorite not listed? Search for: “Mom and Podcast with Susanne and Missy” We rescheduled today’s planned episode, because honestly, we didn’t feel like we were in the right mental space to honor a guest’s message....
What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Pivots & Pandemics
May 19, 2022
May 19, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 71 / Guests: Margaret Ables & Amy Wilson, Hosts of What Fresh Hell Podcast Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary – “What Fresh Hell“ It’s as hard as you think it is. –Amy and Margaret, talking about parenting. We think it’s the perfect...
Lessons from Recovery: Reframe the Next Chapter of Your Life
May 12, 2022
May 12, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 70 / Guest: Maria Leonard Olsen Show Summary – A Midlife Mom’s Lessons from Recovery TW: This show includes discussion around substance abuse and recovery. If you or someone you love needs more information, please visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration site. We had...
Teacher Appreciation Week: Learn From Two of the Best!
May 05, 2022
Subscribe & Rate wherever you listen to podcasts May 5, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Episode 69, Tipsy Ellipses / Guests: Jewellyn Forrest and Jen Mangels Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is recorded monthly via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, May 3, and featured guests, Jewellyn Forrest and Jen Mangels, both...
On a Career Pause? Get Strategic About it!
Apr 29, 2022
Subscribe to Mom & … Podcast Wherever You Listen to Podcasts April 29, 2022 / Episode 68 – Get Strategic About Your Career Pause with Guest: Emily Stark, Marketable Mama Show Summary This week’s episode is all about helping moms get jobs. Emily Stark’s clients are women coming off of a career pause, or looking...
April 21, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 67 / Guest: Dr. Kim Hires Subscribe & Rate Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary / TW: Suicide TW // Suicide from minute 3:45-4:08 of podcast and in first paragraph of show notes If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or...
Find Your Joy with Guest Jennifer King Lindley
Apr 14, 2022
April 14, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 66 / Guest: Jennifer King Lindley Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary Jennifer King Lindley writes about positive psychology. Regular listeners may remember that we learned about positive psychology in episode 38 with guest, Ann Imig, who is a positive psychology coach. Jennifer...
Tipsy Ellipses with Guest Sarah Maizes
Apr 08, 2022
April 8, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Sarah Maizes Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, April 5, and featured guest, Sarah Maizes. Sarah is an...
April 7, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 65 / Guest: Pat Duckworth Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary “We could talk about this all day!” –Missy and Susanne to Pat Duckworth What is this? It’s menopause, baby. This is an episode for everyone. Really, everyone. You’re either going to experience...
Zibby Owens – The Woman Behind the Books
Mar 31, 2022
March 31, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 64 / Guest: Zibby Owens Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Even though Zibby Owens told us that her career never really made sense to her until very recently, there has been one common thread: After a tragedy, Zibby decided that whatever she...
How You Can Advocate for Voting Rights
Mar 28, 2022
March 25, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 63 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason Listen & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason joined us this week to talk about advocacy and education around voter’s rights and voter suppression. On the Mom &… Podcast we frequently talk...
The Parental Leave Playbook: Your Guide to Managing Career & Parenthood
Mar 17, 2022
March 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 62 / Guests: Amy Beacom & Sue Campbell Listen and Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell were, like so many of us, completely taken aback by the enormity of transitioning from career to career-plus-parenthood. They met when their children were...
LGBTQIA+ Ally 101: What Parents of Trans Kids Need You to Know
Mar 11, 2022
March 12, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast BONUS Episode / Guest: Amber Leventry Listen & Subscribe Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary It’s bonus day! We have nothing to add to your paycheck, but we do have something valuable. In this episode, we got to talk with our friend, Amber Leventry, about how to...
How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide with Ericka Sóuter
Mar 10, 2022
March 10, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 61 / Guest: Ericka Sóuter Listen & Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Ericka Sóuter started out writing celebrity news, but becoming a mother changed her, and ultimately, changed her career. She wrote How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide, a...
Tipsy Ellipses Bonus Episode with Amy Impellizzeri
Mar 04, 2022
March 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Amy Impellizzeri Download and Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, March 1, and featured guest Amy Impellizzeri. Amy is a...
Quit Your Day Job (or Come Live Vicariously Through the 40 Year Old Intern)
Mar 03, 2022
March 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 60 / Guest: Alisha Fernandez Miranda Subscribe & Rate Us Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary Alisha Fernandez Miranda has had a lot of brilliant ideas and great jobs. One of her most creative ideas was to intern at some of the jobs she considered dream...
The Sandwich Generation – Practicing Self-Care While Caring for Everyone Around You
Feb 24, 2022
February 24, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 59 / Guest: Kay Newton, The Midlife Strategist Subscribe, Rate & Review Wherever You Listen To Podcasts Show Summary Kay Newton is The Midlife Strategist, focusing on simplicity and support to help women find their spark in this new phase. She shared her story, including how she...
Get Strong – Mentally and Physically (and at Your Own Pace)
Feb 17, 2022
February 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 58 / Guests: Ashlee Brandt, Robin Winkles of STRONG by Ash B Download and Subscribe Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary This week we’re veering ever so slightly out of our usual career-focused lane, but trust us when we tell you there is a reason. One...
Career Sequel – Identify & Develop Your Strengths During a Career Break
Feb 10, 2022
Career Sequel: Identify & Develop Strengths During Career Breaks February 10, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 57 / Guest: Lee Koles, PhD, CareerSequel Listen to this episode wherever you listen to podcasts using the links below Show Summary Lee started the show by comparing us to Oprah. So that’s it. We have to retire...
Tipsy Ellipses – with Guest Abby Mathews
Feb 04, 2022
February 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Abby Mathews Listen & Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts using the links below Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a (usually) monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Monday, January 31 and featured friend...
Restart: Designing a Healthy Post Pandemic Life
Feb 03, 2022
February 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 56 / Guest: Doreen Dodgen-Magee Subscribe and Download Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Using the Links Below Show Summary This episode is packed – and we mean PACKED – with wisdom. Some of our favorite quotes include: “It’s easier to establish healthy norms than it is to...
The 15 Minute Formula for Productivity & Goal Setting with Cara Harvey
Jan 27, 2022
January 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 55 / Guest: Cara Harvey, Author of The 15 Minute Formula Listen & Subscribe Using the Links Below Show Summary Cara Harvey returns to the Mom &… Podcast to talk about her new book, The 15 Minute Formula: How Busy Moms Can Ditch the Guilt, Say Yes...
Jill Smokler: The Mother of Reinvention – From Scary Mommy to She’s Got Issues
Jan 20, 2022
January 19, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 54 / Guest: Jill Smokler, Creator of Scary Mommy, and the She’s Got Issues podcast Click below to listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary Jill Smokler joined us this week to talk about the journey from building the wildly successful website, Scary Mommy,...
Midlife Bites: Is Anyone Else Falling Apart or is it Just Me? With Guest, Jen Mann
Jan 13, 2022
January 13, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 53 / Guest: Jen Mann, Author, Midlife Bites Use the links below to download and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Show Summary Jen Mann is on her way to the Mom &… Podcast guest Hall of Fame. She’s back for her second visit, this time to...
Make the Most of an Extended Leave or Career Pause
Jan 06, 2022
January 6, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 52 / Guest: Linda Gardner of Your Next Career with Linda Show Summary This episode covers finding career purpose, making a pivot, and maternity leave policies. We talk with Linda about what it was like to make a bit change in her own career, and how she...
Four Steps to a Great New Year (No Resolutions Required) – Part 2
Dec 30, 2021
December 30, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 51 / Featuring Susanne & Missy Show Summary Part two of a two-part series featuring hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, talking about self-love, self-compassion, and incorporating those concepts into planning for 2022. This week the focus is deciding on a Word of the Year and using...
Four Steps to a Great New Year (No Resolutions Required!) – Part 1
Dec 23, 2021
December 23, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 50 / Featuring Susanne & Missy Use the buttons below to listen or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Part one of a two-part series featuring hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, talking about self-love, self-compassion, and incorporating those concepts into planning for 2022. This time of...
Illuminate Your Purpose, Prioritize Yourself, and Make Intentional Decisions
Dec 16, 2021
December 15, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 49 / Guest: Nicole Wood of Ama La Vida Show Summary Nicole Wood started Ama La Vida Coaching in an effort to make coaching affordable and approachable for everyone. We talk with her about the benefits of coaching, and how the process works. If you’re reticent about...
You Can Give Back (No Matter How Little Time You Have!)
Dec 09, 2021
December 9, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 48 / Guests: Ellen Evans from Foster Village, Inc. and Kristin Finan from Carrying Hope Show Summary Note: Originally scheduled to be the December Tipsy Ellipses episode, this recording became a numbered show. Tipsy Technical Troubles Took Toll. (Sorry, we had to.) If you are looking for...
Tame Your Inner Critic & Define Your Core Values for a Great New Year!
Dec 02, 2021
December 2, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 47 / Guest: Amy Wolfgang of CoachWolfgang Show Summary Amy Wolfgang’s early career pivots help give her a unique insight into the challenges her clients face finding careers that match up with their core values and their unique talents. In today’s episode she answers our questions about how...
Bonus: Why You Need to Spend December with Us
Nov 30, 2021
TLDR: Spend December with us over in our private Facebook Mom & … Community group where we’ll be spending the month discussing our favorite exercises and top learnings from Megan Logan’s Self Love Workbook for Women. You need this & you DESERVE this! —- We were supposed to be recording an episode with Cara Harvey...
The Thank You Project – A Thanksgiving Gratitude Re-Release
Nov 25, 2021
November 25, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Re-Release of Episode 10 Guest: Nancy Davis Kho, Midlife Mixtape and The Thank You Project In this season of gratitude, we are re-releasing an episode with one of our gratitude heroes, Nancy Davis Kho. Even if you’ve heard the episode, we think it’s worth another listen! Nancy Davis Kho...
5 Steps to Streamlining Your Workload
Nov 18, 2021
November 18, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 45 / Guest: Whitnee Hawthorne, The Savvy Working Mom Show Summary When Whitnee’s first child was born, she went back to work and almost immediately realized that what worked before didn’t come close to working anymore. Even with a supportive husband, she found that doing it all...
Slay Your Inner Critic & Live the Life You Want
Nov 11, 2021
November 11, 2021 / Mom & … Podcast Episode 44 / Guest: Katherine Wintsch of Slay Like a Mother Show Summary Early in this episode, Katherine Wintsch says that she had the trappings of success on the outside, but felt hollow inside. If you, like we did, felt that punch directly in your gut, give...
Tipsy Ellipses FB Live with Cindy Whitesides
Nov 05, 2021
November 5, 2021 Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode Guest: Cindy Whitesides, Life Coach Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, November 2 and featured friend and guest, Cindy Whitesides. Cindy is trained as a Wayfinder Life Coach with...
Self-Love: Release Self-Doubt & Build Self-Compassion
Nov 04, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel November 4, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Guest: Megan Logan, MSW, LCSW, Author of SELF-LOVE WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN Show Summary Megan Logan is a licensed therapist and author of the SELF-LOVE WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN. In this episode we talk about Megan’s experience writing the workbook, and veer off into...
Imposter Syndrome, The Murky Middle, and How to Get Past Them
Oct 28, 2021
Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel October 28, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 42 Guest: Christina Joy Whittaker Show Summary When it comes to showing women and professionals of color how to pivot and advance in the workplace, no one does it better than Christina Joy Whittaker, founder and CEO of Pivot Brand Group...
Build “Super” Skills, Habits and Confidence
Oct 21, 2021
Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel October 21, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 41 Guest: Lori Oberbroeckling, Secrets of Supermom Show Summary Lori Oberbroeckling is the author of Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home and How You Can Too! She is a wife and mom to four tiny humans,...
Top Lessons from 40 Weeks of Coaches & Inspiring Moms
Oct 14, 2021
Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel October 14, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 40: What We’ve Learned in 40 Weeks of Podcasting Show Summary Hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens talk about what they’ve learned in 40 weeks of interviewing life coaches, career coaches, and women who are embracing life in their ellipses. After...
Tipsy Ellipses – Fitness in Menopause Facebook Live
Oct 08, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: October 2021, featuring Maria Luque, PhD If you’ve followed us for any time, and have ever joined us for a Tipsy Ellipses episode, you know that usually, we sit – cocktail in hand – and talk with our guests. Not this month! For October’s Tipsy episode,...
How to Pause for Parenthood Without Killing Your Career
Oct 07, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 39: Lisen Stromberg Becoming a mother was the defining moment for Lisen Stromberg. If you’re thinking, “well, duh” we implore you to listen to her story, and how Lisen’s entire perspective on work, ambition, and purpose changed when she looked at the situation with her children –...
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 38: Ann Imig A decade ago, we met Ann Imig through LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, a stage production of live readings, all centered around motherhood. We say this in the episode, but we can’t say it enough: being part of the LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER movement changed...
Goal Setting with More Intention & Less Perfection
Sep 23, 2021
Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 37: Cara Harvey “It’s not about perfection, it’s about intention.” -Cara Harvey This… well, this is tough for ambitious people-pleasers. Throw in some Enneagram 9-ness, and the Mom &… Podcast hosts have a lot to learn about intentionality in our work. Our guest this week, Cara Harvey,...
Navigate Your Mid-Life Career Transition With EvolveMe
Sep 16, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 36: EvolveMe Our guests this week are Judy Schoenberg & Linda Lautenberg, founders of EvolveMe, a network developed specifically for mid-life women facing a pivot or relaunch. People who need to drop everything and listen right now (we mean it, now!) include, but are not limited to:...
Watch This Episode At Our YouTube Channel September Tipsy Ellipses This month, we invited our group text to get Tipsy and talk ellipses with us. None of us can remember exactly when we started texting every day – and we mean EVERY DAY – because we can’t scroll back far enough. In fact, so many...
How a “Family Business Plan” Can Help You Achieve Your Personal Goals
Sep 09, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 35: Danielle Bettmann Our guest this week is an early childhood specialist. Wait! We know you’re here for mom-related content, and we guarantee this episode brings it. Danielle Bettmann puts her whole heart into her work. Her company is even named Wholeheartedly. She wants families to have...
Give Yourself Permission to Take That Next Step
Sep 02, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 34: Carolyn Turkington / MomBabes Carolyn Turkington is one half of The MomBabes. She and her sister, Christina, launched this project after experiencing the ups-and-downs of motherhood during the early days, while simultaneously grieving the loss of their father. Carolyn says they are living out their dad’s...
Rediscover What Floats Your Boat with Stacy Kim’s “Lighthouse Method”
Aug 26, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 33: Stacy Kim Have you ever thought, I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m motivated, but I have no idea how to mobilize and figure out my life?* US, TOO. You need to meet Dr. Stacy Kim, and learn about the Lighthouse Method for finding your way. The huge...
Stop Doubting & Start Doing – with guest Raquel Kelley of Momgul
Aug 19, 2021
Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 32: Raquel Kelley, MOMGUL * * * In this episode we discuss postpartum depression. If you, or someone you know, is struggling, talk to a trusted healthcare professional, friend, family member, or reach out directly to one of these resources: Postpartum Support International – 1-800-944-4773 Substance Abuse...
A Sleep Away Camp Just for Moms? Yes, Please!
Aug 12, 2021
Watch Episode at our YouTube Channel Episode 31: Gillian Behnke, Mom Camp Gillian Behnke is passionate about helping moms create lives they don’t want to run away from. If you’re sitting in a pile of unfolded laundry, or at a desk piled with the endless to-dos of your job, balancing all the things at home...
It’s “Your Turn” to Decide What You Want, with Julie Lythcott-Haims
Aug 05, 2021
Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 30: Julie Lythcott-Haims Julie’s new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, was written with the 18-34 set in mind. It’s a book about adulting, and sure, young people need to learn a lot about being adults. It turns out, however, that we, um, slightly older...
Tipsy Ellipses: Mary Katherine Backstrom & Holy Hot Mess
Aug 03, 2021
Watch This Episode on Facebook Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel MK & Susanne causing trouble, per usual. Welcome to the Mom & dot dot dot podcast Tipsy Ellipses edition – Once a month, we do a Facebook Live taping of the podcast – It’s a much different format than our usual “numbered” episodes...
How to Quit What’s Not Working & Build an Intentional, Fulfilling Life
Jul 29, 2021
Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 29: Goli Kalkhoran We talk a lot about relaunching, but today we’re going to talk about… quitting. Our guest, Goli Kalkhoran, is a professional quitter. Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. But here’s the deal: Goli found herself in a place many of us have been in,...
Advice from The Original Relauncher & #ReturnToWork Pioneer: Carol Fishman Cohen
Jul 22, 2021
Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS PocketCasts YouTube Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 28: Carol Fishman Cohen So, you’ve been home for a while, and out of the workforce. Maybe you’re raising children, or perhaps you’re caring for elderly or ill family members. It’s time, though. You’re ready to...
Prowess Project: Helping Moms Get Career Clarity & Get Hired
Jul 15, 2021
Watch This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 27: Ashley Connell, Prowess Project Our guest this week saw a problem, and she decided to do something about it. That’s our kind of woman! Ashley had a career she was passionate about, but there was an undercurrent of worry. She knew that it was going to...
Dog Fans Bonus Mini-sode with Mecca Brown & … PUPPIES!
Jul 08, 2021
Watch This Minisode Over at Our YouTube Channel Bonus Episode: Mecca Brown As so often happens, we start talking with our amazing guests and WE CANNOT STOP TALKING! Mecca Brown, (featured in Episode #26) is now breeding goldendoodle and poodle puppies, and has a litter at her house. We got carried away talking about all...
Tipsy Ellipses – with Simone de Muñoz
Jul 08, 2021
Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: July 2021, featuring Simone de Muñoz Most of the time we interview career & life coaches, or authors who have written books specifically about expanding the possibilities outside of “mom” life. But there are SO MANY AMAZING MOMS out there who aren’t necessarily coaches, yet are...
You Need These Resume & LinkedIn Tips (Even if you’re not looking for a job!)
Jul 01, 2021
Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 26: Mecca Brown At 18, Mecca Brown got pregnant. She went from high school graduate, on track to attend one of the top universities in California, to facing a host of obstacles: she was (in her words) an African-American, plus-sized, college dropout, teen mom, working and raising...
Developing Value-Based Habits During Transitional Periods
Jun 24, 2021
Watch the Video of This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 25: Jenny Remington Returns to Talk About Habits We have our first return guest this week! We love talking to Jenny Remington, and hope she’ll continue to join us frequently (Hey Jenny, will you be a regular contributor, please?). If you haven’t listened to...
June Tipsy Ellipses “Father’s Day Edition” with Our Brothers
Jun 17, 2021
Watch this Episode at Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: June 2021, featuring Matt Evans and Michael Lewis For our June Facebook Live, aka Tipsy Ellipses, we welcomed our brothers to talk all things Dad &…. Matt Evans (Missy’s brother) is a dad and dot, dot, dot equine veterinarian, artist, and stand up comedian. He is...
Shannon Rafalowski – Preventing & Recovering from Body Image & Eating Disorders
Jun 17, 2021
Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 24: Shannon Rafalowski (Trigger warning: eating disorder thoughts and behaviors and self-harm/cutting) Today’s episode is Part 2 of our discussion with Shannon Rafalowski (from Episode 22, when Shannon joined us to talk about defining our values and mind-body connection.) Our conversation went beyond those topics to include...
Reclaim Your Confidence by Identifying Your Superhero Skill Set
Jun 10, 2021
Watch the Video of This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 23: Morgan Seaman, This Empowered Mom Morgan Seaman loved her job, and loved being a working mom. After eight years of balancing work and parenthood, though, she felt like there could be a better way to approach things. Morgan sought coaching and counseling for...
Defining Your Values & Understanding Mind-Body Connection with Shannon Rafalowski
Jun 03, 2021
Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 22: Shannon Rafalowski Almost every week on The Mom &… Podcast, the concept of values comes up. Understanding your personal values allows you to focus on what matters in your life. Every week when this comes up we think, we really should learn more about how to...
Redefining Maternity Leave – Why Most Moms Need 6 Months, Not 12 Weeks
May 27, 2021
Watch the Video of this Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 21: Lauren Smith Brody As a new mom, Lauren Smith Brody started having candid conversations with her co-workers at Glamour Magazine about how hard it was to parent an infant and succeed at work. Her book, The Fifth Trimester, was born out of these...
How to Remove the “Crisis” from Midlife
May 20, 2021
Watch This Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 20: Lisa Levine Lisa Levine had a non-crisis midlife crisis (if you’re going to have one, that sounds like the way to do it). She found herself sitting in meetings, thinking,”This is not what I want to talk about.” A longtime fan of Martha Beck, Oprah’s life...
Defining and Creating Work / Life Balance, with Suzanne Brown
May 13, 2021
Watch The Episode at our YouTube Channel Episode 19: Suzanne Brown When her son was born 10 weeks premature, Suzanne Brown was still working a full-time corporate job. The plan was to continue in that role, but she quickly realized that things needed to change. After negotiating her role down to part-time, Suzanne started getting...
How to Set (and Enforce) Boundaries with Family, Friends & Co-workers
May 06, 2021
Watch This Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 18: Justine Sones Boundaries. Got any? We don’t. Well, sometimes we have boundaries, and sometimes we feel bad about enforcing them. We’re learning. Enter: Justine Sones. If you have the time, we recommend pausing after everything Justine says, and just letting it… Simmer. Soak. Absorb into your...
Tipsy Ellipses – with Special Guest Kate Strzinek of DomestiKateThis
May 03, 2021
Watch Full Video (with bonus photos!) on YouTube Now! Welcome to our May Tipsy Ellipses episode. On the first of every month, we (Susanne & Missy) do a Facebook Live bonus episode. The show is (mostly) unedited and non-bleeped, so keep those earbuds in if you’re around the littles. To watch the live version, be...
Balancing Mental and Physical Health While Pursuing Your Passion with Michelle Garrett
Apr 29, 2021
Episode 17: Michelle Garrett Please Note: This episode contains a discussion around depression, with a reference to self-harm and suicide which may be difficult for some listeners. If you need resources for yourself or someone you love, please visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. We are honored, and so grateful,...
Master Your Money & Career Break Challenges
Apr 22, 2021
This week we are un-taboo-ing (that’s a thing, right?) an often taboo subject: money. Our guest is Janice Scholl, the host of The Money, Career & Motherhood Podcast. Choose from the icons above to listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. If you would like to watch the video version of this episode, it...
Surviving Midlife Indignities & Career Changes with Kristin van Ogtrop
Apr 15, 2021
Episode 15: Kristin van Ogtrop Thinking about making a big career change? Considering a huge shift, whether from home-to-work or work-to-home or something in between? This is the episode for you! And if you happen to be in mid-life, you’re in for a great time. You can watch a video version of this episode over...
Even Pros Can Benefit from Coaching – How a Coach Can Help with Career Pivots
Apr 08, 2021
Episode 13: KJ Dell’Antonia This week, our guest is KJ Dell’Antonia, the author of the viral New York Times essay Why I Didn’t Answer Your Email, the former editor of the Times’ Motherlode blog, and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a timely,...
Welcome to our April Tipsy Ellipses episode. On the first of every month, we (Susanne & Missy) do a Facebook Live where we recap our top learnings from the previous month’s episodes and give a sneak peak at what’s coming up in the month ahead. The show is unedited and non-bleeped, so keep those earbuds...
Career Solutions for People Dealing with Chronic Health & Life Issues
Apr 01, 2021
Episode 13: Alison Tedford Alison Tedford is a mom & … writer, marketer, indigenous (Kwakiutl First Nation) activist based in Abbotsford, British Columbia, and author of the soon to be released, Chronic Profit – Building My Business While Managing Persistent Pain, which is filled with career solutions for people dealing with chronic health & life...
Moms as Leaders & Creating a Flexible Schedule Through Multiple Revenue Streams
Mar 25, 2021
Episode 12: Kelly Rippon, Mom &… Leading by Example Kelly Rippon, started her consulting company, Authentic Change, in 2006, with the mission of changing the world one conversation at a time. Those conversations, combined with her work as a college instructor, corporate trainer, and single mother of six incredible children, including her oldest son, Olympic...
One Year of Covid: Thanking Our Local Heroes and Helpers
Mar 18, 2021
It’s Spring Break here in Austin so today’s episode was taped during a Facebook Live on our Mom & … Facebook Page last week. You can watch the full video at our Facebook Page or over at our YouTube Channel. This week marks a full year of Covid lock down for the Stevens and Kerns...
Mom & … Gratitude – with Nancy Davis Kho
Mar 11, 2021
Episode 10: Nancy Davis Kho Nancy Davis Kho is a speaker, author, and podcaster whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, and NPR affiliate KQED. Nancy’s book THE THANK-YOU PROJECT: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time was published by Running Press in December 2019. Nancy covers “the years...
Mom & … Habits – with Jenny Remington
Mar 04, 2021
Episode 1.9: Jenny Remington, Habits This week is the second part of our conversation with Jenny Remington. Basically, we had a blast talking to her about StrengthsFinder and got carried away. The next thing we knew, we were talking about habits and realized we had a second episode on our hands. The topic of habits...
Hello – Welcome to the Mom & … Podcast Tipsy Ellipses episode with Susanne & Missy. If this is your first time joining us, the Tipsy Ellipses episodes are different than our regular numbered episodes. On the first of each month, we do a Facebook Live on our Mom &… Podcast Page where we recap...
Mom & … StrengthsFinder with Jenny Remington
Feb 25, 2021
Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS Episode 1.8: Jenny Remington, Strengths Finder This week, we are talking with Jenny Remington, a professionally trained and certified coach with the International Coach Federation. She has empowered hundreds of professionals, entrepreneurs, and parents to reignite their career, discover their path, or realign their life. Jenny...
Austin / Texas Freeze Update and How to Help
Feb 18, 2021
Download wherever you listen to podcasts The show starts at 2:38, but we didn’t want to use up extra electricity doing edits, so you can just FFWD a bit or listen to us chit chat before we jump in. Today we had a fabulous Strengths Finder Episode with Jenny Remmington scheduled to air but since...
Mom & … Steph Barron Hall of Ask An Enneagram Coach
Feb 11, 2021
Listen & subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! FYI: We use the word ‘sexual’ a couple times near the end of the episode. It’s not used in a graphic context at all, but within the discussion about the Enneagram. Just a warning, though, if you don’t want that word flying around the inside of your...
Friends, you showed up and we loved it! Thanks for hanging out with us, and if you weren’t able to make it to our first Tipsy Ellipses Facebook live, we got you covered. We’ve uploaded an unedited re-play of the Facebook live event. This makes for a slightly longer episode than usual, and of course,...
Mom & . . . Niksen – Embracing the Dutch Art of Doing Nothing with Olga Mecking
Jan 28, 2021
Episode 1.6: Mom And… Niksen: Embracing the Dutch Art of Doing Nothing, with Olga Mecking Episode summary: In this episode, author Olga Mecking joins us to talk about the concept of Niksen. Olga Mecking is a journalist, writer and translator. Originally from Poland, she lives with her German husband and three children in the Netherlands....
Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS Episode summary: In this episode, we talk to enneagram enthusiast, Jill Johnson, about how to zero-in on our Enneagram numbers, and then how to put that information to work on our quest for self-knowledge and growth. Some of the Topics we covered this week: Enneagram Institute...
Jen Mann: Mom & . . . Author, Blogger, Throat-Puncher
Jan 15, 2021
Episode 1.4: Jen Mann Episode summary: This week we talk with the author, Jen Mann, about work-life balance, raising teenagers, knowing who we are, traveling mishaps, and more. We also do the second installment of Look, Listen, Learn, in which we decide the name is sticking. Some of the Topics we covered this week: Set...
Episode 1.3: Backfilling the Busy Video available here. Episode summary: In this week’s episode, Susanne and Missy talk about the unnecessary chores and extra volunteer work they’ve used as avoidance tactics, rather than tackling work they’re truly passionate about. They also talk about what’s coming up in the next couple months, and introduce a new,...
The Goal of the Mom & . . . Podcast is to share information that truly helps moms, no matter which phase of parenting/professional grownup conundrum you’re in. We know what our questions are, but we want to know what’s on your minds so that we can tailor episodes to you, so what’s your question?...
Welcome to the Mom & . . . podcast. We’re Missy & Susanne, two moms trying to figure out what comes after “mom”. Whether you’re a stay at home mom of a newborn or a a mom who is already an empty-nester, our podcast will feature interviews with career and life coaches helping moms answer...