Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Latest Episodes:

Can Anything Good Come From a Bad Breakup? with Lisa Cleary Ep. 143 Jun 02, 2021

Show notes

Lisa Cleary went through a bad breakup at age 31. In addition to grieving the demise of her relationship, she lost her job and ended up homeless. She slept on friends’ sofas for months. She felt defeated and demoralized—this was not where she expected to be at 31. And while her life unraveled, her friends’ lives seemed to play out perfectly. Lisa got knocked down hard, but through her pain and struggle, she developed grit and perspective. She shares her experience in her book, How to Survive a Breakup: When All of Your Friends Are Birthing Their Second Child,and she joins us to discuss the question, “Can anything good come from a bad breakup?”

Specifically she delves into:

Toxic Milestones: the tendency for women to berate themselves if they’re “missing the mark”
How she felt the need to “prove her worth” with the perfect relationship and high-powered job
The problem with being a Type A personality when dating
Trying to make a relationship something it isn’t meant to be
The beauty in honoring the “process”—as opposed to the relentless focus on the “outcome”

Join us to consider the “good” we can glean from “bad” in various realms of love and life!

Lisa Cleary

Website: http://https://lisacleary.com/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

What if the “Sparks” are Due to a Trauma Bond or Anxious Attachment Style? Ep. 142 May 26, 2021

Show notes

In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer 3 questions:

1. How can I tell if the attraction I feel for someone is healthy? What if the “sparks” are a result of a trauma bond or anxious attachment style?

2. How can I address the topic of a pre-nup with my fiancé? He has a son and I’m currently taking care of us financially because he’s in school. I just want to be sure I’m taking care of my finances as we move forward.

3. Do women need to “signal” to other women that they’re in a relationship? I see many women “flexing” to let others know their man is “off limits.” I’m personally not into this. But, if I’m with a guy, will he want to see me posture in this manner to let to other women know he belongs to me?

Join us to hear my thoughts on these questions!

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

Think Like a Girl! Harness the Power of Your Female Brain with Dr. Tracy Alloway Ep. 141 May 18, 2021

Show notes

We say it every week on Love & Life,“Take charge of your thoughts! Take charge of your life!” And what better way to do so than by taking a deep dive into female brain chemistry! Thanks to Dr. Tracy Alloway’s new book, Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You, we now have a comprehensive resource for harnessing our female brain and appreciating its superpowers! Join us to discuss:

What you need to know about your female brain if you’re in leadership—or hope to be someday!
How a bucket of ice can help with rational decision making!
The ONE main quality to look for in potential romantic partners (it predicts successful, happy, lasting relationships!)
How to be attracted to people who are GOOD for us!
Attachment styles in dating—you’ll be surprised what you’ll learn about attachment and men!
Oxytocin and bonding—what you need to know to cultivate and nurture your partnership/marriage!
The research on how to remain madly in love!
The differences between men and women when it comes to lying—spoiler alert: we both lie, but we lie about different things!

Dr. Alloway provides research based takeaways for how to level up in love and life by leveraging our innate cognitive processes and leaning into our “Think Like a Girl” power!

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

How to NOT Get Love Bombed: Slow Your Roll! Ep. 140 May 11, 2021

Show notes

In last week’s episode Dan and I answered your questions—many of which surrounded the beginning of our relationship. We noted we started dating in late August and Dan asked me to be exclusive in early January—about 4 ½ months. Much to my surprise, I received a lot of feedback from you with comments like, “How did you wait so long?” “Wasn’t it hard knowing he was dating other people? I’d be so jealous!” “I have Anxious Attachment—I couldn’t handle a relationship being undefined for so long!” Obviously, I felt comfortable with the pace of our relationship but many of you (65% according to my Insta poll) felt differently. Your responses got me thinking—about my history of taking things slowly, the science substantiating this approach, and also, about how slowing our roll can serve as our best defense against love bombing!

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

How to Have a GREAT Relationship: Dan and I Tell All! Ep. 139 May 04, 2021

Show notes

Recently, I posted a poll on Instagram asking if you had any questions or topics you wanted Dan and me to discuss on the program. You had a LOT to say and today we respond to you questions and concerns in an episode devoted to how to have a GREAT relationship. Specifically, we cover:

What do men worry about when dating? What were Dan’s concerns?
Do men really change for a woman if she’s The One?
How dating in your late 30s/early 40s differs from dating earlier in life.
How Dan and I met (for more on this, check out episode 46).
How our relationship progressed—did we date other people while dating each other? Did we know we were dating other people? Were we jealous about these other relationships?
Why we decided to choose to be exclusive with each other (for more on this, check out episode 89).

We received so many questions, we decided to make this a two-part series.

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com

Instagram: @dr.karin

Let’s Talk Therapy! with Eli Weinstein, LCSW Ep. 138 Apr 27, 2021

Show notes

There’s still a bit of mystery—and sometimes, stigma—surrounding psychotherapy, so I’m starting an occasional series called, “Let’s Talk Therapy!” In these episodes we’ll pull back the curtain and provide the inside scoop on what counseling is all about! Today, Eli Weinstein, LCSW, shares his professional and personal journey as a social worker and therapist. Join us as we discuss:

The lingering stigma surrounding mental health.
The “dream” of treating emotional health with the same frequency as our physical health.
Why saying “I’m having a panic attack!” when you’re actually just nervous, is problematic for ourselves and others.
The relationship between your health insurance provider and therapist.
What therapists can do to see their clients more objectively.
What YOU can do to be sure you pick the right counselor for you!

We wrap up with Eli’s philosophy on dating, relationships, and marriage—some of our fav Love & Life topics!

Eli Weinstein, LCSW

Website: https://www.elivation.org/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

Thriving After Trauma! with Shari Botwin, LCSW Ep. 137 Apr 20, 2021

Show notes

No one makes it through childhood unscathed—and for some, childhood consists of multiple traumatic events. We carry these wounds with us as we step into adulthood—at which point, we may hope to just survive. But can we actually THRIVE after trauma? Shari Botwin, LCSW, joins me to talk about her book, Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing. Shari discusses her own childhood trauma and the steps she took to move through pain and move toward wholeness and health. We talk specifically about the shame inherent to trauma, how to find an appropriate therapist to assist you in your journey, and ways to feel empowered despite years of feeling disempowered. Shari’s story and wisdom will inspire you to believe in the possibility of thriving after trauma!

Shari Botwin, LCSW

Website: http://www.sharibotwin.com/

Instagram: @warriorbotwin7

Warrior Women Speak Podcast: https://anchor.fm/shari-botwin

Book: http://www.rowman.com/ISBN/9781538125601/Thriving-After-Trauma-Stories-of-Living-and-Healing

Use discount code 20RLFANDF30 at checkout for 30% off%!

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

How to Choose Well When Picking a Partner! Anita Stoudmire, MA, LPC Ep. 136 Apr 12, 2021

Show notes

Relationships don’t have to be so difficult—they can actually be fluid and even EASY! But they definitely can’t be easy if we pick unhealthy, toxic partners. And all too often, we’re completely unaware as to why we keep attracting—and being attracted to—dysfunctional people in the first place. For years, Anita Stoudmire chose men who were incapable of being the partner she desired. Eventually, she’d had enough disappointment and frustration. Anita began to unpack the dynamics causing her to choose poorly. She joins me to explain how she fixed her “picker” and finally learned to choose well!

Anita Stoudmire, MA, LPC

Website: http://www.betterlovemovement.com/

Instagram: @betterlovemovement

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

Why Core Values are the Secret to a Happy Relationship! Ep. 135 Apr 06, 2021

Show notes

One question I often receive is, “I know ‘core values’ are important in relationships, but to be honest, I’m not sure I actually know what mine are.” In this episode, we discuss the definition of core values and how we can identify the ones that matter most to us. Furthermore, we explore how clarifying our core values not only allows us to better understand ourselves, but also prepares us to recognize our person! We wrap up the episode discussing the psych research surrounding core values and how our values set a foundation for successful, fulfilling relationships!

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201807/39-core-values-and-how-live-them

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/relationship-values-every-couple-must-have/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

How Can I Ever Learn to Trust Again? And More of Your Questions! Ep. 134 Mar 29, 2021

Show notes

It’s hard to trust when our heart has been broken multiple times. We get jaded and bitter. We build up a wall of protection. We worry we’ll never be able to trust anyone ever again. This week I answer 3 listeners’ questions. One listener asks exactly this: How can I trust again after being cheated on multiple times and spending 9 years in a toxic relationship? Another listener wonders if she should change her name now that she’s divorced. She’s concerned because she has 3 school aged children and although she’d like to step away from her ex’s name, she’s concerned about how her children might feel should their mom have a different last name. The final question is from a woman wondering how to respond to an ex’s new gf who insists on bad-mouthing her to their mutual friends.

Dr. Karin

Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin

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