Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

Latest Episodes:

EP109 How To Make Sense of Behaviors That Don’t Make Sense (To You) Pt 1 Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever felt completely baffled by your child’s behavior? Maybe they can play chess skillfully but can’t seem to get ready for an appointment on time. Maybe they have zero concept of time but can tell you the gas prices at every station in town. These inconsistencies can feel frustrating and even personal—like they don’t care or aren’t trying.

But what if there’s a scientific explanation?

In this episode, we dive into the brain science behind these confusing behaviors. I’ll break down how substance use affects different areas of the brain, why some skills stay intact while others decline, and how understanding this can reduce frustration, increase compassion, and help you better support your child.

We’ll explore:

How the prefrontal cortex, dopamine system, hippocampus, and amygdala all play a role in motivation, memory, and decision-making
Why time blindness makes planning and follow-through so difficult
How survival-based thinking can cause hyperfocus on things like gas prices but not daily responsibilities
Why understanding these brain changes can help you find peace of mind and set realistic expectations

When we understand the why behind their struggles, we can stop fighting against reality and start working with it.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP108 Q&A How Can I Live a Happy Life Knowing My Child Might Die? Jan 23, 2025

Show notes

When we have a child struggling, it’s easy to feel like our happiness is tied to theirs. That belief, often summed up in the phrase, "You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child," can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But what if letting go of that belief could create more peace, joy, and connection—not just for you, but for your child as well?

In this heartfelt episode, Heather dives into three powerful questions inspired by a mom from her Facebook group:

How do you live a happy life knowing your child might die?
Are we really only as happy as your unhappiest child?
How can you be happy when your child is so unhappy?

Through her own experiences and hard-earned wisdom, Heather shares how shifting our focus inward, questioning unhelpful beliefs, and embracing acceptance can lead to healing and peace of mind.

Recommended episodes:

EP102 How To Accept The Unacceptable
EP103 Acceptance meditation
EP03 What to do When You're Paralyzed With Fear That Your Child Will Overdose & Die

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

EP107 Siblings Supporting a Brother or Sister Struggling with Addiction - Guest Dominique Dajer from For Love of Recovery Jan 17, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Heather welcomes Dominique, founder and host of the podcast For Love of Recovery, which focuses on helping siblings navigate the challenges of having a brother or sister struggling with substance use. Together, they dive into the unique experiences that siblings face, which are often overlooked.

Dominique shares her personal journey, the inspiration behind her podcast, and insights into the sibling perspective on addiction and recovery.

The conversation explores topics like the pressure to be the "perfect child," the effects of stigma, how parents can better support siblings, and the emotional complexities of navigating a family member's substance use.

This heartfelt discussion offers valuable insights for parents and siblings alike, shining a light on the importance of understanding and support for all family members.

Website: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/

Podcast: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/podcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

EP106 How to Navigate the Holidays with Peace and Intention Nov 22, 2024

Show notes

The holidays can be one of the most challenging times of the year, especially when your child is struggling with substance use. The stress, uncertainty, and longing for things to be different can feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to define your holiday season.

In this episode, Heather shares simple yet powerful strategies to help you take care of yourself, honor your emotions, and create moments of peace, connection, and even joy. These practical tips are rooted in compassion and intention, helping you navigate this time of year with greater clarity and resilience.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How to plan ahead to meet your emotional needs and set the tone for your holidays.
The power of acceptance and how it can bring a sense of peace.
How to be present with your pain without adding to it or minimizing it.
How to embrace the "AND," making space for both grief and joy.

Heather also shares personal insights from her own journey, offering hope and encouragement for parents navigating similar challenges.

Resources Mentioned:

The holidays may never be perfect, but with these steps, you can take back control of your experience and find moments of peace and possibility.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

In Person WeWomen Retreat Information https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

EP105 Manipulation or Desperation? How to Tell the Difference & Respond Effectively Nov 12, 2024

Show notes

Heather explores the complex topic of manipulation in the context of addiction and family dynamics.

When your child is using substances, it’s common to experience behaviors that feel manipulative or self-serving. However, Heather emphasizes the importance of stepping back to see these actions through a compassionate lens, which can empower parents to respond with clarity rather than react out of frustration or hurt.

Heather covers:

Understanding Manipulation: What manipulation is and isn’t, and how labeling behaviors as manipulative can reduce loved ones to harmful stereotypes.
Influence vs. Desperation: How to distinguish when behaviors stem from true manipulation versus desperation or an attempt to meet a basic need.
A Compassionate Perspective: Shifting from a “victim-perpetrator” mindset to a more empowered approach, recognizing manipulation as a universal human behavior rather than one solely tied to addiction.
Strategies for Intentional Responses: Tips for responding thoughtfully, using the CRAFT approach (Community Reinforcement and Family Training).

With insights drawn from her own experiences, Heather shares the importance of language, self-awareness, and finding less charged ways to label challenging behaviors. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to navigate difficult behaviors with compassion and maintain peace of mind in the face of addiction.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

In Person WeWomen Retreat Information https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

EP104 What To Do When You Can't Stop Crying Oct 18, 2024

Show notes

Description: In this episode, Heather offers gentle support and guidance for those days when it feels like you can’t stop crying. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions and unsure of how to move forward, this episode is here to help.

Heather shares tools for self-awareness, honoring your feelings, and finding the willingness to sit with discomfort. She also provides practical tips for managing the really hard days. Whether you’re navigating grief, sadness, or anxiety, this episode offers comfort and reassurance that it won’t always feel this hard.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

In Person Retreat Information

https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP103 Acceptance Meditation Oct 04, 2024

Show notes

In this short meditation (pairs with ep#102), Heather guides you through a calming practice designed to help you embrace acceptance.

Remember, acceptance is a practice—listen to this meditation as often as you need to regain clarity and find peace.

Let this be your go-to tool whenever you need a moment of stillness to process and reset.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/ If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In Person Retreat Information

https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

EP102 How To Accept The Unacceptable Oct 04, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Heather delves into the concept of acceptance, highlighting that it's not a final destination but a continuous practice requiring intention and effort—especially when life unfolds in ways we never anticipated and find unacceptable.

We'll define what acceptance really means, why it’s so critical for your peace of mind, and provide three actionable steps to help you move closer to it. You’ll also hear about the role of grief in acceptance and the importance of separating facts from the stories we tell ourselves. Plus, discover how self-compassion can help you let go of resistance and step into a space of empowerment.

If you find this episode helpful, please consider subscribing, rating, and reviewing the podcast to help other parents find it too!

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

In Person Retreat Information

https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP101 Overcoming Overwhelm With Guest Debby Kerr-Henry Sep 10, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Heather welcomes Debby back for another deep conversation about wellness and the overwhelming pressures many women face today. They discussed why so many women are on the edge of burnout—juggling multiple roles like mother, spouse, friend, and employee while feeling unseen and disconnected from themselves.

Heather and Debby dive into how living in a state of overwhelm has become the norm for so many, and how this sense of losing oneself can actually be a turning point for rediscovery and empowerment.

They reflect on their personal experiences with overwhelm and how strategies like redefining relationships with personal roles, the 8 dimensions of wellness, core values, and boundaries can help women take back control of their lives without feeling the need to run away.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in responsibilities, this episode will provide insight, compassion, and actionable steps toward finding balance.

In Person Retreat Information

https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Contact Debby:

Website: https://momentousliving.com

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/ If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP100 How To End The Chaos Aug 27, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, you’ll learn six impactful changes that can transform your approach to loving your child through their addiction. These insights will help you reduce the chaos using practical tools. You’ll also learn the value of shifting your focus from trying to control the situation or your child to controlling what is within your power—you. By reducing the chaos and taking charge of your own responses and behaviors, you can create a more stable and supportive environment for your whole family.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

Invitation To Change Group For Parents Enrolling NOW

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/itcgroup/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM FOR MOMS - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/