Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

Latest Episodes:

EP119 Living Beyond Our Walls: The Wisdom and Humanity of Incarcerated Voices Jul 08, 2025

Show notes

In this heart-opening conversation, Heather is joined by Debby Kerr-Henry who is the sponsor of The Unlimited Gavel Club, a Toastmasters group where approximately 60 incarcerated men learn to write, speak, debate, and reclaim their sense of purpose. In this episode,Debby shares why she believes their stories - especially about substance use and recovery - belong in the conversation far beyond prison walls.

Together, Heather and Debby explore:

•What it’s like inside an incentivized prison and how The Unlimited Gavel Club works.

•Who these men are beyond their sentences and the humanity and hope they bring to their work.

•Why voices we often ignore hold vital wisdom about substance use, resilience, and change.

This episode is an invitation to challenge stigma, open your heart, and discover how healing is possible in places you might never expect.

Join the Free Virtual Event: Living Beyond Our Walls: Substance Use Presentations with Testimonials and Q&A.

Featuring the men of The Unlimited Gavel Club at Tomoka Correctional Institution.

Open to anyone impacted by substance use or curious to learn.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP118 Why You Can’t Say No To Your Child – Even When You Want To Jun 26, 2025

Show notes

If you’ve ever decided not to give your child money and still felt like your heart was being ripped out so you said yes anyway… this episode is for you.

In this episode, I’m unpacking what really happens when we stop giving from a place of survival, and why that decision can feel so excruciating, even when we know it’s right.

Learn:

• Why saying no can feel like you're severing the last thread of connection

• What your child might be experiencing at a nervous system level when you say no

• The Survival Cycle that keeps moms stuck in guilt, resentment, and exhaustion

• And the new pattern I call the Connection Cycle that helps you relate in a way that’s aligned with true connection, love, and your values

This episode is not about judgment.

It’s not about telling you what to do.

It’s about helping you understand why it feels so hard to stop, even when you’ve already decided that giving isn’t truly helping.

And it’s about offering a new path forward where you don’t have to choose between your peace and your child.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

A New Perspective About Enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Helanna Johnson Memorial Scholarship

https://forms.fillout.com/t/rzzgZmhYMKus

EP117 Taking Your Life Back Without Letting Go of Your Child Jun 20, 2025

Show notes

If you’ve ever felt stuck between loving your child and losing yourself, this episode will help you see that taking your life back doesn’t mean letting go. It means leading the way with compassion, clarity, and strength.

Heather shares how years of fear, guilt, and hopelessness kept her stuck — and the exact moment she found a path forward. She introduces the two-part approach that helped her feel hopeful again: healing herself first and learning the skills to support her daughter in a way that built connection.

You’ll walk away with a new perspective on what it really means to help your child — and the power you already have to change your experience, no matter what they choose.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

A New Perspective About Enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Helanna Johnson Memorial Scholarship

https://forms.fillout.com/t/rzzgZmhYMKus

EP116 Guilt vs. Truth: One Keeps You Stuck, the Other Sets You Free May 17, 2025

Show notes

Guilt is one of the most common emotions parents face when their child is struggling with addiction, but is it always telling the truth?

In this episode, I’m sharing some personal reflections and hard-won realizations about guilt: how it became my default emotion, how it blocked me from feeling what was actually true, and what happened when I finally stepped out of guilt and into my true emotions that guilt was covering up.

You'll learn:

The difference between helpful guilt and default guilt
Why guilt keeps you from meeting your needs
How guilt dysregulates your nervous system and keeps you stuck
A practical 3-step process to work through guilt
Why releasing guilt doesn’t mean you’re excusing the past, it means you’re free to grow from it

If guilt has become your constant companion, this episode will help you begin to untangle it from the truth. You don’t have to punish yourself to prove you care.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

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EP115 Q&A Should I Kick Them Out? Apr 29, 2025

Show notes

Today we’re tackling one of the most painful questions parents face when their child is struggling with substance use - "Should I kick them out?"

You’ll hear why this question is far more complicated than it’s often made out to be and why it deserves careful thought, not quick advice based on outdated, stigmatized ideas like "tough love" or "rock bottom."

In this episode, Heather shares:

Why the words we use when making hard decisions affect how we feel and show up
What factors to consider before asking your child to leave, including safety, emotional health, and recovery capital
How to recognize when fear, guilt, or pressure might be influencing your choices
What it looks like to thoughtfully create a transition if your child can’t safely stay at home
Why honoring your own values and your child's right to self-determination leads to decisions you can live with

If you’ve ever felt trapped between two terrible options, letting chaos continue in your home or kicking your child out into the unknown, this episode will help you decide what’s best for you and your family.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP114 Our Kids Don’t Steal Our Peace – We Give It Away Apr 12, 2025

Show notes

For years, I lived with my peace tied directly to my daughter Helanna’s addiction. When she struggled, I felt powerless, sick, exhausted, and consumed by fear. But everything began to shift when I realized that peace isn’t something that can be stolen—it’s something we either protect or give away.

Even in the most heartbreaking moments, I discovered that I still had agency over how I related to my emotions. That realization didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me something solid to stand on. And I want that for you, too.

We’ll talk about:

•How to stop bracing for impact and start standing in your power

•The “yes for a no” strategy that filled my needs as a mom

•What emotional intelligence really means in parenting through addiction

•How staying grounded gives your child the best possible chance at change

Peace of Mind Group Scholarship Opportunity

Email the answers to the 5 questions below to heather@heatherrosscoaching.com by the end of the day April 14th, 2025.

1. Why do you want to be part of the Peace of Mind Group Coaching Program for Mothers?

2. What would it mean to you, personally, to find peace of mind and joy in the midst of your child’s struggle?

3. How do you currently cope with the stress and fear that come with your child’s substance use?

4. What do you most want to feel or believe about yourself as a parent by the end of this program?

5. Is financial support the missing piece that would allow you to say yes to getting the help you want?

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP113 The Hidden Judgment in Pity—And How Switching To Compassion Builds Connection Mar 19, 2025

Show notes

There is a crucial difference between pity and compassion—and this distinction can deeply impact your relationship with your child. When we pity our kids, we see them as helpless victims, stripping them of their agency and reinforcing our own feelings of hopelessness.

But compassion is different—it sees their struggles without defining them by them, offering support in a way that preserves dignity and connection.

Heather shares personal experiences that have shown her the stark contrast between pity and compassion. We’ll also explore how parents often unknowingly judge their child’s struggles, assuming they are solely a result of poor choices while overlooking the massive role of other factors.

If you’ve ever thought, “I would never end up in that situation,” this episode will challenge that belief and help you shift from judgment to true understanding.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How pity and compassion create completely different dynamics in your relationship with your child

• Why pity makes your child feel disconnected, unseen, and incapable of change

• How compassion fosters trust, safety, and a stronger bond

• 7 simple ways to shift from pity to compassion in your daily interactions

Plus, don’t miss my free Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclass on Tuesday, March 25th—where I’ll teach you how to set boundaries that actually strengthen your relationship rather than pushing your child away. Sign up using the link below!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/

If you found this episode helpful, please leave a 5-star review—your feedback helps other parents find the support they need.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP112 How Making Whole Helps Men In Early Recovery Rebuild Their Lives: Guest Jeremy French Feb 20, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Heather interviews Jeremy French, the founder of Making Whole, an organization that fills a critical gap in the addiction recovery treatment system. While traditional recovery programs often focus on short-term stabilization, Making Whole provides the missing piece—long-term support through meaningful work, mentorship, and personal growth.

Jeremy shares his journey of asking a pivotal question: Why do some people thrive in long-term recovery while others struggle or don’t survive?

Through his exploration, he identified key elements that support sustainable recovery—mentorship, creativity, problem-solving, and the ability to navigate uncertainty.

These insights became the foundation of Making Whole, where men in recovery not only learn to craft high-quality custom furniture but also rebuild their lives and develop the skills necessary to thrive.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• The importance of creating an environment of change where people want to stay and get better.

• How meaningful work and mentorship create a foundation for sustainable recovery.

• The role of passion, creative problem solving, and embracing uncertainty in healing.

Tune in to hear how Making Whole is changing lives—one handcrafted piece at a time.

Resources & Links:

Learn more about Making Whole: https://makingwhole.com/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP111 The Truth About Codependency and Enabling Feb 14, 2025

Show notes

In this heartfelt episode, Heather shares her perspective on the damaging labels of codependent and enabler that are often placed on parents. She explains why these labels are not only unhelpful but also undermine a parent's natural instincts—instincts that are, in fact, a powerful tool for connection and support.

Heather emphasizes that parents don’t need warnings about what not to do. Instead, they need clear, actionable guidance on how to help their child struggling with substance use while staying connected in a meaningful way.

Listeners will discover:

Why parental instincts are not the problem—they are the key.
How small, intentional shifts in communication and boundaries can create meaningful change.
The importance of questioning harmful labels and trusting their own 'why.'
How having their own back and honoring their values is a vital part of helping their child.

This episode is a powerful reminder that a parent's love is not a disorder, and they are never powerless.

With the right tools and support, parents can show up effectively for their child and themselves.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below.

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

EP110 How To Make Sense of Behaviors That Don’t Make Sense (To You) Pt 2 Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

In the last episode, we explored why our kids can excel in unexpected areas—like chess, gas prices, or mental math—but struggle with everyday tasks like making a phone call or getting to an appointment on time. We looked at the brain science behind these inconsistencies and how substance use impacts different cognitive functions.

But now comes the next step: How do we work with these realities instead of fighting against them?

In this episode, we’ll focus on practical ways to help your child follow through on tasks, build new skills, and gain confidence—without creating more conflict or frustration.

We’ll cover:

How to help your child make a phone call when avoidance and anxiety get in the way
How to get them to an appointment on time without endless reminders and frustration
How to support long-term planning in a way that makes sense for their brain
Why small, achievable steps matter more than big expectations

When we stop seeing their struggles as defiance and start seeing them as brain function, everything shifts. We can adjust our expectations, reduce conflict, and set them up for success in ways that actually work.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

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