Show notes
Julie & Tolin's solo couple episode: We’re in our third trimester (!!) and finally sitting down to talk through our IVF experience. So many of your Q+As were about IVF, so that’s where we focused most of this conversation… sharing the raw, weird, wonderful parts of it all.
From how much it cost, to how we prepped for transfer and the two-week wait, to the quiet grief and constant worrying we carried through it all… this is the journey behind what brought us to Starburst!
Every IVF journey is unique. It’s not linear. There are so many challenges and unknowns along the way. This episode isn’t about fear-mongering at all, it’s about sharing our experience, how it unfolded, and what we wish we’d known before we started. Because it was a long road (months and months), and there were so many moments we found ourselves asking, “How did no one warn us about this?”
We cover the full breakdown: cost, steps, how to find a clinic, and what helped us navigate it all. We also talk about how meditation was a huge tool for calming our nervous systems, especially during the hardest days and weeks. After miscarriage, through IVF for genetic reasons… it was a lot to process, a lot of decisions to make, and we truly took it one day at a time, learning and making decisions as we went through it in real time.
IVF isn’t just physical with shots. It’s a relationship process, something that stretches and shapes you as a couple. It’s spiritual. It’s mental and emotional. And you really don’t understand that until you’re in it.
This one’s for anyone in limbo, waiting, or walking through the thick of it. For anyone who’s had to let go of the IVF timeline, the plan, the “perfect” month to get pregnant. You are not broken. Your story is sacred. And if you’re doing IVF or thinking about it, you’re not alone in this—I hope something we shared today brings you a little comfort or clarity.
It’s just a phase and we’re walking through it with you!
TOPICS COVERED
➡ Why we did IVF without an infertility diagnosis
➡ Exactly what we spent (yep, $34k+) and where it all went
➡ What we wish we knew before embryo testing + transfer
➡ How we prepped our bodies for implantation
➡ Why the two-week wait is its own psychological sport
➡ What the emotional load looks like as a couple
➡ Realistic nursery expectations
➡ Building our birth team and what we’re doing differently this time
EPISODE RESOURCES
➡ SART.org — compare IVF clinics and success rates
➡ EvidenceBasedBirth.com — real research for real decisions
➡ “The Vaccine-Friendly Plan” — take what works, leave the rest
➡ Our doulas Megan + Courtney (if you're in RI/MA, DM us)
➡ “Pregnancy Prayer” by Dr. Laura Graye — we listened to this every single day during our IVF process
**In this previously recorded episode, we noted that the Pregnancy Prayer Medigraytion was free. It is not free, but can be listened to with free 2-week trial period.
** If you want to invest in the meditation membership use code BALANCEDBEYARS for $88 off the yearly membership)
➡ Palm Heights (Grand Cayman) — babymoon goals, beach naps, and cookies at turn-down. 10/10 experience.
➡ Podcast Rec: Fertility Docs Uncensored (we binged listened to so many of these episodes!)
ABOUT US
We’re Carly, Alaina and Julie Beyar, three silly sisters helping you thrive through every phase of womanhood—cycle health, fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood—with real talk, hormone education, zero shame...and with a healthy dose of humor. From fertility to postpartum, and everything in between, join us every Wednesday for candid conversations, empowering insights, and the occasional dose of laughter.
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