It’s Not Normal It’s Toxic: Rid Your Life of Toxic People

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#222 Making the Impossible Your New Normal - with Fiji McAlpine Feb 29, 2024

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Dr Heidi knows it can feel extreme to ask for help, at least it did for her. Maybe one of her service offerings would feel less extreme, and would be totally confidential. Let her experience be your secret weapon.

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I know that you are going through times of adversity in your life, the high demands of your relationship and just plain keeping life in balance often seems like more than you can handle. Today you will be listening to me speak with a guest who has also had her share of adversities. Fiji McAlpine, today's guest is a yoga virtuoso who turned personal adversity into a global movement. After a debilitating back injury at 21, Fiji discovered the transformative power of yoga. Not just a remedy for her physical pain, yoga became her lifeline out of anorexia as well as an unhealthy marriage. This was an eye opening episode for me to record as she calls out many things that I KNOW I need to be implementing into my journey of healing and self discovery. She even calls me out and gives me a challenge, join me in the 14 day Yoga challenge that can be found on her website here: https://www.doyogawithme.com/content/14-day-yoga-challenge

Without changing something our adversities grow, the more they pile up the more impossible making a change feels. Where body and mind connect is where Fiji has found her "Possible"

#221 The "Just Enough" Relationship & the Confusion they Cause Feb 13, 2024

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The “Just Enough” Relationship is a devistation that almost no one ever sees coming. The just enough relationship is one that gives you “just enough” to keep you invested in the relationship, but not enough for you to feel safe, accepted, or appreciated.We tend to lower our standards as we accept less and less from those who are giving “just enough”. Real effort is not given unless the relationship is threatened.One is giving the least amount they can get away with giving and the other gives until they are desperately drained. You can become used to the way the “just enough” relationship is and accept not being valued or settle much less than you deserve.Relationships do not have to have huge flaws in order for you to justify leaving or changing one that is not right for you. How long have you stayed in the "just enough" relationship, at the "just enough" job, in the "just enough" friendship because you grew used to the poor treatment.

#220 It's All About the Kids! - with guest Elle Barr Feb 03, 2024

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We all know that divorce is hard. It is something that affects everyone who is in the lives of those who are separating. With so much going on many do not realize the impact these changes have on the children that are caught in the middle. Those going through an amicable divorce can usually navigate things well so the children adapt with everyone else, but for those who are going through a high conflict divorce the storyline is much different. As a family law attorney and GAL for the state of Pennsylvania Elle Barr, has dedicated her life to making sure when there are kids involved she keeps her focus on them. Listen how she got into this work and how it has become her passion to protect those who are not able to protect themselves as "mom & dad" try to settle their differences.Learn more about Elle Barr here: https://ellebarr.com/Be sure to follow her on social media:https://www.linkedin.com/in/elle-barr-252b14104insta: @elle.barr.gal

#219 Are you "On the Fence?" Jan 23, 2024

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How many time have you gone back and forth between, "I should leave this relationship" and "maybe it's not that bad"? More than you care to remember I am sure. Making this decision is not easy, I know this because if it was easy, you would have already made it. If you are anything like me when I was in your position, then you are trying to make this difficult decision with only half of the information. You are the only one who can make this decision, but we don't realize it. Instead what we do, is allow their mood to make that decision. If they are in a good mood, we choose to stay, and when they are in a bad mood or treating us badly we will choose to leave. The problem with that is, it is never consistent, it is always unpredictable. So we swing back and for from staying and leaving almost on a daily basis. \Take the Toxicity Profile Analysis

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#218 A Deeper Look into Betrayal with guest Dr. Debi Silber Jan 16, 2024

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Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Over the last 30+ years, she has supported thousands of people to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
She is fully dedicated to this mission because she believes that betrayal is one of the most painful experiences one could ever have. She knows because she has been there.

It was her own betrayals, first from her family and then from her husband, that shattered her heart, trust, and life as she knew it.

Betrayal can be something you carry around for a very long time without even realizing it. There is more than just one stage of betrayal, which one are you? Post betrayal syndrome will carry over into all aspects of your health and your life. Dr Debi walks with others through each stage giving the support that she knows her clients will need in order to stay focused and value the changes that the act of betrayal brought into their lives.

Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Follow Dr Debi on facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform

or instagram https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/

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#217 Dr Heidi's Instructions for Life Dec 29, 2023

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2023 is coming to an end. I can not believe another year has come and gone. This year was a years of... UGG.. learning, digging, admitting, understanding, & growth for me. I had an indescribable year. If there is an emotion out there... I had it! If there was a feeling...I felt it! If there was a doubt...I questioned it! If there was trust... I tested it! And if there was change...I resisted it! 2023 wore me slick out, but in the end, it was incredible. I NEEDED IT! Dr Heidi Instructions for life that you will hear in this episode were born out of this year of transformation. They will not all resonate with you, but that is to be expected.... They are "MY" instructions for life. I hope you enjoy and I hope you take the time to reflect and write your own. Here is to another beautiful year.! Thank you for your continued support and trust in me! - Dr Heidi

#216 The Holiday Betrayal Roller Coaster Dec 19, 2023

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Are you going through yet another holiday season, that does not all resemble the one you once had pictured in your mind. When you have relationships in your life that are not healthy for you, where controlling behaviors are present, or where that has been betrayal the supposed "Peace on Earth" doesn't seem so peaceful. Rather than spreading your "Joy to the World" you would rather "Deck someone's Halls". How do we navigate this time of year while attempting to balance all our normal responsibilities plus the added holiday demands while the toxic people in our lives go off the rails to ruin it all for us. We know they do this because your focus is not all on them like it normally is. This caused discomfort to their security and thus causes new, changed, or amplified behavior. Needing some tips to get you through the next couple weeks? Listen as our "betrayal expert" Dr Debi Silber shares with us how to juggle the painful devastation of betrayal while still longing to enjoy your holidays.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) institute. Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

#215 Been There, Done it, Now Helping Others-(with Guests Kerry McAvoy Ph.D. & Tara Blair Ball) Nov 21, 2023

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Today I was able to speak with fellow podcast hosts to get their perspective on the toxic relationship when there are narcissistic behaviors present. Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D, a mental health clinician, & Tara Blair Ball, a certified relationship coach, together are the hosts of the podcast "Breaking free from Narcissistic Abuse".

The long term effects for those involved in toxic relationship are devastating. Those around you will not understand which will lead you to feel isolated to protect yourself. Kerry & Tara discuss how the brain changes when you are in relationships requiring survival from day to day. Why we see things differently than many and how to overcome the challenges that face us post toxic relationship. Some misconceptions about the toxic relationship are debunked giving some insight on how to heal yourself.

You can find them here on their website or on social media sites

@breakingfreefromnarcabuse.

#214 The Masks We Wear Nov 17, 2023

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Masking our personality is something that we all struggle with. It is easy to want to cover up who we really are around people who may not like us, around those who make us feel unsafe, or around those who we are threatened by. We change who we are in certain environments so our vulnerable ares and weaknesses do not show. Why would we do this?To gain approval/acceptance of others - To avoid conflict - To lessen fear - To gain love - To make others happy.I am not pointing fingers at anyone because I myself had perfected the art of mask wearing when I found myself facing the shame of being in an emotionally abusive relationship for many years. I did not realize the damage that had been done to my emotional health until years later. In order to hide my past I began to wear masks to that I would not have to explain to others anything about the shame I felt. I am not sure that anyone knew the true Heidi for many many years. What masks do you wear?

#213 Making Things Little is a Bigger Deal Than You Think Oct 31, 2023

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Why is it that with the toxic relationship comes the art of minimization? To minimize is to take significant things, either good or bad, and lessen the importance or degree of them. In a nutshell minimizing makes the good things seem not so good and the bad seem not so bad. When we learn to minimize in a unhealthy relationship it allows us to avoid dealing with our emotions and our feelings. Do you minimize the things you should be celebrating? Are you minimizing abusive behavior? Learning how the emotionally abusive relationship can change so much in us just out of our need to survive.

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