It's My Pleasure - TopPodcast.com

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Ep. 64: Not Sexual (Enough) May 21, 2020

Show notes

We are going to talk today about this idea of not being sexual, and what that even means. Women often say to me, “I’m just not that sexual”, and it seems like an innocent thing, but I want to unpack why this sneaky thought is negatively affecting your ability to become more sexual. We’re all here because we want to have better sex, and believing you aren’t sexual is holding you back from the sex you deserve. I’m also going to share a simple technique you can use to shift away from this thought and to be able to identify as a more sexual person.

Topics in this episode

The difference between being asexual versus not feeling very sexual
When you think “I’m not sexual enough” it’s going to affect your ability to access pleasure
The roadblocks in starting from a place of “not enough”-ness
When we identify ourselves in a certain way, it feels like it’s set in stone and impossible to change, but it’s not
Your brain will sabotage your desire to even change this belief you’ve created
An exercise to remove old beliefs about yourself
When you can see it as a thought in your brain that you are a sexual person, you can begin to direct your brain to think differently

This is a sneaky thought that is so commonly overlooked. And when you are starting this journey with this belief, you are starting at a disadvantage. Give yourself the possibility of pleasure by recreating your self-concept and your identity as a sexual being. If you want to be guided with this, this is the exact kind of work I do with my clients and I’m more than happy to talk to you about what that would look like. http://daniellesavory.com/coaching

Ep. 63: "From Rejecting to Relishing in Her Body” an Interview w/ Jamee May 07, 2020

Show notes

In this episode I share with you another interview with my beloved clients, Jamee. I just love hearing her paint the picture of what it looks like to be a vibrant woman who’s alive in her body. She shares with you just how she went from rejecting her body, for a number of reasons, to now being able to relish in the pleasure of it. She wanted to make choices from a place of love, and now she can because she’s in a deep love affair with herself. She also talks about the new approach she has to sex, now that she has recognized that she truly enjoys it and wants it for herself. By learning how to tap into that pleasure, she’s now able to apply it to other areas of her life, and she talks about the transformation she’s seen because of it.

For any of you that are ready to do this work, my group program, Better Sex in 90 Days, is open right now. I’m so excited to take you through this transformational journey because I know what it’s like on the other end. As I take clients through this process of falling in love with themselves and redeveloping this deep relationship with their bodies and their partners, they can dive deep into their sexuality. And also by doing this work, they can bring integrate what they learn into their lives and become a fully expressed person. It’s the most incredible work you can do. Take a look at it at: https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Topics in this episode:

Getting curious about the fact that sexual pleasure isn’t just about your partner, and that it can be for you too.
Opening up to pleasure, instead of ignoring yourself and your needs
“I wonder what else feels good.”
Spend more time thinking about what it is you do want, instead of all the reasons why you don’t.
Making the shift so that you are able to actually ask for what you want.
Having compassion for yourself shows up in having compassion for your partner, and allows you to be able to show up for yourself and for sex.
Part of the reason it doesn’t feel pleasurable is that sex is under the veil of obligation. But once it becomes a choice that you are free to make, you will feel the pleasure of making that choice.
The ripple effect of being a pleasured woman, and how that changes our parenting, and the people around us

It’s been my absolute pleasure to bring you this episode where we got to hear all about Jamee’s journey and where she’s at. It’s been such a delight to work with her and to keep doing this work with her through our group program, so that she can continue to find new levels of pleasure. I hope that by being able to hear her story and the ups and downs she’s experienced, and what it’s like on the other side, that it inspires you. Sex doesn’t have to be a “have to”. It can be a choice you make for yourself. To learn more about this work and going on this journey, go to

https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Ep. 62: Burning Through Shame Apr 30, 2020

Show notes

I interviewed one of my clients, Deise, and in this interview, you’re going to hear exactly what doing this work looks like from the inside. In our conversation, she is open and honest about her experience starting from the first time we got on the phone, what motivated her to start this journey, the fear about moving through the good girl identity she grew up with, to now being completely transformed and on the other side. It can be hard to picture the before and after of what it means to be an empowered woman, and in this episode, Deise does such a beautiful job painting that picture for you.

If you’re ready for this level of growth, I encourage you to apply for the new group program I have created, Better Sex in 90 Days. It’s the most comprehensive coaching program available to women to learn the exact process that I take women through, like you and like Deise, to have better sex, and to feel empowered and sexually alive. https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Topics in this episode

Deises journey before coaching that culminated to make sex seem unimportant in her life
Coaching through the fears and the stories we tell ourselves
Defining what is actually pain, versus a fear from past pain
The journey of self-pleasure
How this work allows you to connect with yourself more
Sex can be so much more fun when we’re not dependant on the other person to meet our needs
The steps to gaining confidence and being able to communicate what we want, within sex and beyond
Ways to help get into your body and to enjoy self-pleasure and the connection to yourself
Deise answers the question I ask all guests on my show; how would the world change if more women were pleasured?

It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this work with you that Deise has done, and the transformation that she’s had. I hope that it gives you insight into what is possible for you. Doing this work on your sex life and integrating this into who you are can change everything. If you want to do this work with me, I encourage you to check out Better Sex in 90 Days. I take you through a step-by-step process to unleash that wild woman in a safe and loving way that you walk out of it knowing how to keep falling in love with yourself, your relationship, and more in tune with your sexuality and your power. https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Ep. 61: Turn On the ONs & Off the OFFs - Step 3 Apr 25, 2020

Show notes

We are on part 3 of our series based on a recent masterclass I did called 3 Steps to Mindblowing Sex. These steps are essential for being able to uplevel your sex life, no matter where you’re starting at. Two episodes back we covered Step 1, have sex. We talked about why so many of us aren’t having sex and how to recommit to that action so that you can start showing up for the right reasons. In Step 2, Getting Out of Your Head and Into Your Body, we covered the disconnect between the mind and the body, and how to cultivate a connection to be able to access that pleasure.

To listen to Step 1, go here: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-59-first-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2F

To listen to Step 2, go here: https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-60-second-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2F

Step 3 - Turning On the Ons, and Turning Off the Offs

This step is really about getting into the mindset work and tweaking our thoughts one at a time to create more pleasure in the body
Reasons why it may be more difficult for you to get turned on
The more power you have on the “ons” side, the more you’re going to be able to experience pleasure
Our turn ons and turn offs aren’t just confined to what we’re doing when we’re having sex.
Common turn offs, and how to move through them so that you can access pleasure:
- The environment in which you’re having sex
- Stress
- The belief systems
- Physical discomfort
- Trauma
Knowing when negative emotions are present and knowing how to be with them and process them so that you can have room for pleasure

It’s been my absolute pleasure to share these 3 steps for mindblowing sex, and remember: have sex, get out of your head, and turn on those ons, and turn off those offs. This is such important work. When you start to lean into these 3 steps and start moving toward your potential for pleasure, it is one of the most rapid ways that you can develop and grow as a person and help you become the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

For those of who you would love my help, I do have spots open for one-on-one coaching and I would really encourage you to take a look at the 90 Days to Better Sex group experience program I’ve just launched. If you want expert guidance from me, support from a group of other powerful women, and you want to get the skills and step-by-step processes that I’m talking about, go and check out the group program and apply at:

https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Ep. 60: Second Step to Mind-Blowing Sex Apr 24, 2020

Show notes

I know that this episode is coming out earlier than expected, but I wanted to go ahead and record and release all 3 parts of the series all in a row. I know that right now a lot of you are at home, and I want to help you have better sex in your quarantine with your partners. This series is based on a masterclass I did that was called, How to Have Mindblowing Sex. In the last episode, I went over Step 1, have sex. To hear that episode, please go here:https://www.daniellesavory.com/blog/ep-59-first-step-to-mind-blowing-sex%2F. This series is for anyone, no matter where you’re at, and following these 3 steps will help you have the better sex that you deserve.

I’m so excited to share with you that I have been working on something that I can now share with you. I am starting group coaching sessions, called Better Sex in 90 Days. All of the steps that I’m talking about here, these are the foundational pieces that you can take and apply right now. If you want expert guidance from me, support from a group of other powerful women, and you want to get the skills and step-by-step processes that I’m talking about, go and check out the group program and apply at: https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Step 2 - Getting Out Of Your Head and Into Your Body

The reasons we’re not in our head to begin with
We need to be comfortable with uncomfortable emotions
Your brain wants to protect you
Learning to cultivate the connection between the mind and the body so that we can be present for the thing we are experiencing
Your brain wants to take advantage of the time that it has to do something else
Realizing when your mind wanders, and bring it back
You’re watching the sex you’re having, instead of experiencing the sex that you’re having
The practiced skill of paying attention to what’s happening in your thoughts

In the next episode, we get into the third step, turning on more of the ons, and decreasing the offs. As always it’s been my absolute pleasure to bring this to you, now go and practice getting out of your head and get into your body. Get into the sex that you’re having. Let yourself experience the ecstatic pleasure that’s possible for you.

Ep. 59: First Step to Mind-Blowing Sex Apr 23, 2020

Show notes

Last week I did a masterclass called “3 Simple Steps to Mindblowing Sex”. The reason I wanted to do this is that there’s a lot of information, and definitely misinformation, out there, and it can be confusing to even know where to begin when it comes to having better sex. These are the three foundational steps. If you’re not having the kind of sex you’d like to be having, it all comes down to one of these three steps. You’re either not doing one of these things, you’re not doing one of these things enough, or you’re not doing one of these three things correctly.

I also get to share with you something I’ve been working on for months! It’s a group coaching experience, called Better Sex in 90 Days. This is the most comprehensive, accessible program, that you could ever get to help you better your sex life. This takes the topics that I cover in the podcast, and gives you practical and workable ways to get the better sex that we all want, and making that part of who you are. The thing I’m most excited about for this program is because I really feel like something special happens when a group of women gathers and allow themselves to talk about something openly that has been off-limits for so long. When women start opening up and talking about it, you realize you’re not alone. To learn more, go to https://daniellesavory.com/group/

Step 1 - Have Sex

You have to have sex if you want it to get better
The main reasons women aren’t having sex: fear, not being committed to the outcome, having sex the wrong way
Your brain makes things scarier than they turn out to be, and that’s where the fear comes in.
Fear of rejection, being awkward, embarrassed, or that things will not work out as planned. What are we making that mean?
We let sex become optional.
Thinking we have to be “in the mood”
Sex can actually be a “want”, versus an obligation
Remind yourself that you do want the bigger result of becoming a sexually pleasured woman.

In the following episodes, I’ll be covering steps 2 and 3, “get out of your head, and into your body,” and “turn on your ons, and turn off your offs”. It has been my absolute pleasure sharing this with you and covering the foundation of how to have mindblowing sex. Remember to check out my 90-day group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days if you want to take this work to the next level.

Ep. 58: What To Do When You Can't Have Sex Apr 09, 2020

Show notes

Despite all of the things happening in the world, there is still pleasure and the ability to listen in and learn how to get more pleasure. Obviously, we are in unique times in the world. So I really want to take this time to talk about how and what can we do to bring pleasure into our life if sex is off the table. Just because sex isn’t an option, we have to make sure that we aren’t disconnecting from ourselves and our sexuality. In this episode, I share the importance of redefining sex and foreplay, what it means to self-pleasure, and other ways to play and prioritize pleasure.

I also want to let you know that I am doing a free masterclass, 3 Steps to Mindblowing Sex. In this class, I teach you the top 3 things you can focus on that will help you have amazing sex. Sometimes it can feel so complicated to have great sex, so I want to share with you the foundations of what it takes. This masterclass is for you if you’re not having sex, or if you’re having sex and want to take it to the next level. This is for all of you. To learn more and sign up, go to http://daniellesavory.com/masterclass/

Topics in this episode

We can all take time for pleasure

The cultural definition of sex

Give yourself permission to expand your mind

Taking sex off the table could actually be way more fun.

Having the mindset that fun is a possibility

Start with the mind. Let it be open to pleasure and let it be curious.

What do I need to think and believe that’s going to create a sense of playfulness and curiosity?

Self-pleasure vs masturbation

It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this episode with you. I hope it allows you to expand your mind that whether or not sex is on the table, pleasure is possible for you. Sometimes it may be more fun when we give ourselves permission to be creative in a different way.

Ep. 57: Pandemic, Pleasure & Panic - Oh My! Mar 26, 2020

Show notes

It is a crazy time in our world right now, and I thought it was really important for me to get on and do this podcast. I think it is so easy for our brains to put sex on the back burner, especially when we’re experiencing something as life-altering as a pandemic. It is so important for us to remember in times like these is that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, is that pleasure is essential. In this episode, I share with you how to break out of the stress cycle and how to do so, how to respond when our brain is freaking out, and noticing our thoughts in order to change them to a thought that will serve us. The skills we build in this time will continue to train our brain for hard times to come, in regards to the pandemic, and after, which is why this is so important.

Be sure to go to http://daniellesavory.com/ and sign up for my newsletter. I’ve been sending out some helpful resources during this time, and you don’t want to miss them.

Topics in this episode

Why sexual pleasure is so vital right now
How the brain works under stress
Why a trigger feels that much harder when our brain is under stress
When you’re in a more balanced place, you have a chance to connect with your body in a pleasurable way
Our brains have a negativity bias, and it will always default to the negative. Take your attention, on purpose, to focus on the good
The lasting traits of sexual pleasure: connection, safety, and love
Creating space for more pleasure to happen

It’s been my pleasure as always to bring this to you all, and I hope it helps you find pleasure despite the pandemic. We can’t control what is happening in the world, but we can control how we think about it. In the midst of panic, this is always available to you, and I hope you can tap into your body this week and access it.

Ep. 56: Sex Not For Him: Interview with Lindsay Mar 13, 2020

Show notes

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work with me? Have you listened to the podcast and thought about the kind of transformation you could experience if you hired a sex coach? In this episode, I bring on one of my clients, Lindsay Dotzlaf, to discuss her experience of working with me, and the changes she’s gone through since hiring me to work with. I have many clients who come to me even when they are happy with their sex life, and this applied to Lindsay as well. She was having ok sex, but after hearing me talk, she knew it could be better. In our conversation, she shares the observations she was able to make about her sex life, the changes she implemented, and how her life has improved overall now that she is a more pleasured woman.

Topics in this episode:

What compelled Lindsay to reach out for coaching
Sex was an item on the to-do list and breaking out of that mindset
Taking away time from your business to work on something that was fine to begin with
Being resistant to scheduling sex
Discovering some undercover thoughts
What if this is something I want, just because I want it just for me?
The play of pleasure, despite discomfort

Lindsay’s Contact Information:

Website: https://www.lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LDotzCoaching/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf/

It’s been my absolute pleasure some of my client’s insights and changes she’s gone through, and I hope it helps you find your own changes in your own sex life. I think so often you hear me talking about these concepts, but there’s a difference between hearing this information and actually working with someone on this. Integrating this into your own life can be amazing and transformative. If you are interested in taking this work further and deeper, and you know I’m the person you want to work with, go to http://daniellesavory.com/coaching/ and you can apply there.

I am also excited to share with you that very soon I am going to be rolling out a group coaching program. It’s going to be the exact process I’ve been taking clients through, but this time it will be in a group setting. I think this gives you permission to open up, and it’s a safe space to be seen. There will only be a limited amount of spots open, so be sure to go to

http://daniellesavory.com/

and join my mailing list so you know when it launches.

Ep. 55: Your Sex Manual Mar 05, 2020

Show notes

How easy would it be if we could all get a manual that showed us how to have great sex every time? This is essentially what Cosmo magazine has been doing since the start! I get asked my top tips and tricks for how to have better sex all the time. My response to these questions is that each one of us is wired very differently for pleasure. If I could give you a better sex life, I would! The main reason we feel pleasure is due to the wiring in our brains, and creating the structures that are conducive to pleasure, and being curious will lead to the results and mindblowing sex you want.

You can sign up on my new website, http://daniellesavory.com/

Topics in this episode

It’s crucial that you do your own exploration and discovery so that you can find your own hot spots.
The wiring in our brains can be changed with intention and practice
Your pleasure has less to do with your physiology, your mechanical responses, and more to do with your entire mental and emotional state
So what does feel pleasurable? Curiosity. Responsiveness. Presence.
Know the mechanics. You’ve got to know your body and what works and what doesn’t work, but you still have to allow yourself to fall into the flow of what is actually going on for you at that moment.
Focus on being curious, instead of being “successful”

It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this with you. I hope you enjoyed this episode of why a manual doesn’t work. It’s about understanding your body, but not being fixated on a mechanical process to follow. When you let go of the mindset of following a manual, you’re going to be able to fall more in love with the process and be able to follow pleasure.