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    Kids & Family

    IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

    This podcast will help parents of teens keep life’s struggles as a teen, and as a parent of a teen, in perspective. Parents will learn real tools to help them help their teens. They will learn how to build a rock solid relationship with their teen so they will have a powerful impact and a positive influence on their teen’s life.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2022 IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

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    Latest Episodes:
    Interpretations and the Stories We Tell Aug 12, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    How to Be Intentional With Your Interpretations.

    First, you have to be aware of what your interpretations are.

    To do this, practice awareness throughout the day. When you notice an interpretation, identify and label it. "This is an interpretation."

    Thought downloads are also powerful tools to help you identify your interpretations. Any time you find yourself saying things like, "It's not fair," "My teen's lazy," "I'm not good enough," or "This is bad."

    These are all interpretations.

    Second, once you've become aware of your interpretations, you can start to be intentional about how you interpret things. When you identify and label your interpretation, intentionally more your attention to your desired interpretation.

    It might look like this.

    "My son is lazy. Wait, that's an interpretation. I move my attention to the interpretation that my son is doing his best."

    Boom!

    We identified the unintentional interpretation and moved our attention to an intentional interpretation.

    This will impact the rest of the stories that we tell ourselves.

    Third, as you do this, practice new intentional interpretations by doing models. In the first step I invited you to do thought downloads. Once you've done this, you can do an unintentional model and an intentional model based on the thoughts and interpretations that you identified in your thought downloads.

    Call to ACTION!

    My BETA Impact Parenting Program is now live, but the doors close TOMORROW, Friday, Aug. 13th at 11:59 MDT.

    If you want to take your parenting to the next level, I want you to be a part of this program.

    Space is limited! Get in before it's too late.

    Join TODAY!!

    YES! I WANT IN!!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Be the Change LIVE Parent Training Aug 05, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    YOU Have the Power to BE the Change

    Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change.

    They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves.

    You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you change YOU!

    3 Reasons Why Being the Change Is SO Powerful

    #1 You Become the Hero!

    When you commit to BEing the change, you become the hero of your own life. You become the hero in your mind and in the stories that you tell yourself.

    #2 You Focus On ONLY What You CAN Control!

    BEing the change shifts your focus from all of the many, many, things outside of your control to the very few things that you can actually control.

    #3 You Become a Powerful Example!

    BEing the change, positions you as an example. By BEing the change, you model the way of BEing and behaving that you would like others to adopt.

    BEing the Change & Inside-Out vs Outside-In

    OUTSIDE-IN

    Most people try to change things outside of themselves hoping it will change something within themselves. They focus on things outside of themselves and outside of their control, like getting their teen to change or get better grades or have a better attitude, thinking this will change something inside of themselves, like how they think, feel, and/or act.

    One of my clients recently realized that when she tries to change things from the outside in, she goes into “Control Freak Mode.” Her words, not mine.

    When you focus on things outside of your control, you position yourself as the victim in your life and in the stories you tell about yourself. This makes you dependent upon others changing so you can be happy.

    INSIDE-OUT

    This means changing things on the inside of you, trusting it will change things on the outside.

    To do this, you have to let go of your desired results and trust that changing YOU is enough. Your desired results might be for your teen to get better grades, stop looking at porn, or to be kinder to others. You cannot control those outcomes, but you can control how you think about it, feel about it, and act in response.

    When you focus on the few things within your control, for example, how you think, how you feel, and how you act, you gain power over those things.

    When you change from the inside out, you will start to see that things outside of your control begin to change as they are impacted by YOUR internal change.

    Powerful Questions Facilitate Change

    The quality of the questions you are willing to ask yourself will determine the quality of your results. Ask yourself quality questions every day!

    Most people are unwilling to ask and/or answer quality questions, and when they are confronted with powerful questions, most people give the easy answer, “I don’t know.”

    “I don’t know”, simply means, “I’m not willing to figure this out right now.”

    Get in the habit of exploring these and similar questions EVERY DAY!

    Call to ACTION!

    I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact: Parenting Transformation. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.

    Leading up to the launch I'm offering a Free 3 Day Live Be the Change Parent Training Aug. 2nd, 5th, and 9th @ 2PM MDT.

    This free training started on Monday, but when you register, you will get access to the replays and the next live trainings.

    Register for the 3 Day Live Be the Change Training by clicking the link below.

    YES! I WANT IN!!


    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    How to Disrupt Your Parenting Patterns Jul 29, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    We Are Designed To Follow Patterns

    Our brain is designed to identify and create patterns. We do this in an effort to conserve energy, increase our chances of survival, and make life easier.

    This isn't a bad thing. So many of the things that we do are based on patterns that we've picked up. Many of these patterns help us be healthy, productive, and happy humans.

    There are, however, patterns that do not serve us.

    Have you heard the story of the mother who cut the end off the ham before she put it in the pan to cook? When asked why she did this, her answer was something like, "I'm not sure. I think it helps it cook better. I just learned it from my mother." So they called her mother and asked, "Why do we cut the end off the ham to bake it?" She replied, "I don't know. That's just what my mother did." So they called her mother, the grandmother of the original mother, and asked, "Why do we cut the ends off of the ham before baking?" The grandmother replied, "I don't know why you do it, but when I cooked ham we had a small oven and even smaller pan, and I had to cut the ends off so it would fit."

    This is an example of a pattern that simply gets adopted and blindly continued over and over.

    I notice this in my life when I yell at my kids. I sound just like my parents did when they yelled at me.

    This is simply a pattern that I learned and adopted in my own life.

    BUT, there's power in being aware of this! I see that if I disrupt these patterns NOW, my kids will benefit from the new patterns that I establish.

    This goes along with one of my teachings about being herd animals. Following pre-established patterns is part of what we do as heard animals. We do this to help us fit it. It's what we do.

    Notice where you are following the patterns of the herd.

    Find it in your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

    Then intentionally disrupt the pattern and create new patterns.

    YOU Can Be The Pattern Disrupter!

    If you are like most human beings, you're living by a set of patterns that you repeat regularly without really even thinking about what you are doing?

    If you never question your patterns, you will never change!

    You can be the pattern disrupter.

    I've seen this with families that have had abuse be part of the family dynamic for generations. You can be the disruption that changes generations of negative patterns.

    Generations of beliefs, poverty, weight struggles, ways of BEing can all be changed with YOU!

    You have the power to be a pattern disrupter.

    Be the change you want to see!

    I Want To Help You Disrupt Your Patterns!

    Are you stuck in your patterns?

    Have you tried to change over and over, but nothing sticks.

    If you're like most of my clients, you do better for a few weeks, only to get completely derailed by your teen's actions.

    You are likely following a lot of the patterns that your parents followed.

    Commit to going all in.

    BE the disruption.

    Create new intentional patterns!

    If not you, then who? If not now, when?


    Call to ACTION!

    I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact: Parenting Transformation. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.
    Leading up to the launch I'm offering a Free 3 Day Live Be the Change Parent Training starting Aug. 2nd @ 2PM MDT.

    You can register for the 3 Day Live Be the Change Training by clicking the link below.

    YES! I WANT IN!!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Habitual Beliefs Jul 22, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    What are Habitual Beliefs?

    Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you're like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you've thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously.

    Most people believe their habitual thoughts are actually fact or truth. When this happens, you start to incorporate your habitual beliefs as part of your identity.

    Habitual beliefs create habitual emotions. Emotions that underscore other emotions.

    Where Did Your Habitual Beliefs Come From and How Do They Benefit You?

    Developing awareness is one of the most powerful things you can do in all areas of your life. I talk about awareness ALL OF THE TIME! So, here we go again.

    It's powerful to understand where these habitual beliefs came from and when you started developing the habit of thinking this way. This awareness and understanding will give you the power to shift your beliefs.

    Take some time to really explore where your habitual beliefs came from. When did you start thinking this way?

    Next, explore, "How have these beliefs served me"?

    Everything you believe benefits you on some level. Find the benefits so you are fully aware of what's going on.

    How Are Your Habitual Beliefs No Longer Benefiting You?

    When I believe, "I'm not good enough" I hold myself back. I feel regular self-doubt. I don't take risks, and I don't do scary things like building my business.

    How are your beliefs no longer benefiting you?

    One of my clients had the habitual belief, "Bad grades can ruin your life." For her, this belief started at a very young age. She was told that she needed to get good grades to be successful. This belief has benefited her in her life because she earned very good grades. She got scholarships to help her go to college. She learned how to work hard.

    But, she realized that this belief was no longer serving her. When she applied this belief to her teen she felt scared, which led to the action of her trying to control and/or fix her teen and make him get better grades, which created the result of a lot of tension in their relationship.

    Choosing New Habitual Beliefs

    YOU have the power to choose what you will think and believe. You have the power to choose what thoughts and beliefs you will give attention to. You are where your attention is.

    You don't have to be driven by your old habitual beliefs.

    They may have benefited you in the past, but if they are no longer benefiting you, you can choose new beliefs.

    YOU ARE NOT YOUR HABITUAL BELIEFS!

    How to Shift Your Habitual Beliefs

    1. Distance yourself from the habitual belief
    2. This will help you to stop identifying as your habitual belief.
    3. Acknowledge that the belief has served you in the past, but that this belief no longer serves you.
    4. Dismiss the old belief and move your attention to your new belief.

    Call to ACTION!

    I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact Parenting Program. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.

    If you are interested in getting in at founding member pricing (a huge discount) and helping me build something that will benefit parents of teens just like you, click the link below to get on the waitlist, and I'll notify you when I'm ready to launch. It's coming soon!

    YES! I WANT FIRST ACCESS!!
    benpughcoaching.com/waitlist

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Parent with 100% Responsibility! Jul 15, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    100% Responsibility = Power

    We live in a world that often refuses to be responsible and to take responsibility.

    As a result, it's common to blame others.

    Lately, in my own life, I've been extra aware of the blaming that takes place around me, especially when I'm guilty of doing the blaming.

    I've noticed two things over and over, . . .

    #1 Blaming positions you as the victim, every time!

    #2 Taking 100% responsibility empowers you, EVERY TIME!

    What is 100% Responsibility?

    First of all, I want to be 100% clear, taking responsibility is not blaming yourself for everything. It's not taking the fall for everyone else.

    100% Responsibility is taking responsibility for your reality and your part in creating it.

    BEing responsible means accepting that you are the one creating your results and your reality.

    It means that no one is coming to save you or to fix your problems but you.

    It is all up to you, and that's the best news ever!

    Blaming puts your focus on things outside of your control, making you the victim.

    Taking 100% responsibility puts your focus on things within your control, making you in control.

    That is empowering!

    When you are 100% responsible, you have the power to be the change that you are looking for.

    Blaming Turns You Into the Victim.

    Like I said earlier, when you blame others, you shift your focus to things outside of your control. This turns you into a victim. Now, in your mind, you are at the mercy of the person or thing that you are blaming. Rather than having the power to change your circumstances, you depend on others to change.

    I see this a lot with parents who are struggling with their teens. Rather than being 100% responsible, they are willing to be 90% responsible, but they still want to blame their teen for things.

    "I know I'm not perfect, and I'm doing my best, but my teen . . . "

    What if, there is no blame, no fault, and no reason for blame or fault.

    That completely frees you up to focus on what you can control.

    So Now What?

    #1 Increase Your awareness around responsibility and blaming.

    #2 Identify what you can control and take responsibility for that.

    #3 Shift Your Mindset

    #4 Practice, practice, practice


    Call to ACTION!

    I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact Parenting Program. And I want you to help me make it the best program ever.

    If you are interested in getting in at founding member pricing (a huge discount), and helping me build something that will benefit parents of teens just like you, click the link below to get on the waitlist and I'll notify you when I'm ready to launch.

    YES! I WANT FIRST ACCESS!!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    What are your Parenting Values? Jul 08, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    What are Values?

    Values are your beliefs about what is and is not important. Values are our principles, standards, and priorities.

    Values are deep-seated beliefs and ways of thinking that motivate and drive our actions.

    Your values live in your subconscious thoughts. Usually, you don't even know about them, but they still impact your actions and behaviors, such as unconscious habits.

    Your values are a way of BEing. You live and express your values subconsciously without even thinking.

    Your values drive you.

    Your current results and reality are a reflection of your values.

    “Whatever you have and do not have is a reflection of your values.”
    ~ Jim Fortin

    What are YOUR Values?

    If you're like most people, you've never stopped to think, "What are my values? What values am I going to let drive my life today?"

    You've probably just lived your life without putting much thought into your values.

    If you want to know what your values are, look at your current reality.

    What is your current reality and what is it telling you about your values?

    Are you fighting with your teen a lot? You might value control or being right.

    How do you feel in your current relationships? What are your relationships telling you about your values?

    Your Values Belong to You, NOBODY ELSE!

    Your values belong to you and nobody else. You can't force your values on anyone else. You can't expect others to live up to your values, value your values, or meet your needs associated with your values.

    Your values are yours.

    Many of us share values. Some are outer values like religion, politics, sports teams. Many of us share inner values like integrity, hard work, freedom.

    Ultimately it's your job to live aligned with your values.

    It's nice when people value our values, but that's not within our control.

    I invite you to respect and value the values of others. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with them or go against your values, just don't try to change them to embrace your values.

    Love languages is a great example of this.

    You're empowered by knowing your love languages. It's powerful knowing your spouse's love language. But it's not your job to meet their emotional needs. It's yours. Same with values.

    It's Possible to Live Conflicting Values

    Sometimes people live with conflicting values. This causes emotional discomfort.

    Understand & Choose Your Values

    Seek to understand your current values. Look at your current results and reality for evidence of what your values are. When you develop this awareness and understanding, you can develop more intentionality.

    When you understand what values are creating your current reality, you can choose if you want to continue allowing those values to drive your life.

    You have the power to choose your values.

    You have the power to let go of values that no longer serve you.

    Recently I chose to let go of my value of Hard Work. I was raised on a farm. I grew up milking cows, hauling hay, and working with large animals. It was hard work. I learned to value hard work. I believed that my value was tied to my ability to work hard.

    Some of My Current Values

    • Freedom
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Personal Growth
    • Service
    • Honesty
    • Faith
    • Kindness
    • Impact and Influence

    Call to ACTION!

    Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent!

    Join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

    Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Up-level Your Parenting! Jul 01, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    When you judge your teens, you disconnect with them.

    “When I pull back and look at the big picture, does it matter if my kid sleeps all day? (. . .) In the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.”
    ~ Marika Humphreys

    "It was helpful to question and really let go of my expectations of what I thought my kid should be doing, and that was the gateway towards acceptance of who my child really is, and now I see them as the amazing kid they are."
    ~ Marika Humphreys

    "I stopped judging my kid, and I know I'm closer to them than ever before."
    ~ Marika Humphreys

    What if What You Think Is A Problem, Isn't a Problem.

    Many of the problems that we see, are only "problems" because the world around us tells us they are problems.

    Often, it's our judgement that something is a problem that creates our emotional discomfort.

    Don't Try to Control, Change, and/or Fix Their Kids

    When we can let go of control, we start to connect with our teens.

    I Have the Confidence to Trust MYSELF and MY Teen

    It's my job to foster who my kids are, and I can do that! I am the best parent to do this.

    Your teen will help you to grow as a parent.
    Call to ACTION!

    Connect with Marika at www.CoachMarika.com

    Become A Firmly Founded Parent today. You can transform yourself as a parent!

    Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

    This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting.

    Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Parenting on the Same Page: Magical or Mythical? Jun 24, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    The Myth of Parenting on The Same Page

    The myth of parenting on the same page is that it will "fix" all of your problems in your relationship and with your teens.

    The myth is that when you parent on the same page, you will magically agree with everything that your spouse does. Or even better yet, they will magically agree with everything that you do.

    The Problem with "Same Page" Parenting

    I have many problems with same page parenting.

    I've seen spouses manipulate each other in name of "Parenting on the Same Page." I've seen one parent try to control, change, or fix the other parent, convinced that they are the whole problem.

    Oftentimes parents will both abandon their values and inner strengths in an effort to meet in the middle somewhere. Now you've got two parents parenting out of alignment with their personal values and strengths.

    When parents try to parent on the same page, one or both often begin to see themselves as a victim in the relationship, at the mercy of the other.

    Why It's Important to Parent on the Same Team, Not on the Same Page

    By now I'm sure you've noticed that I love sports analogies. They make sense in my brain.

    Look at your parenting relationship with your spouse as being on a team.

    On teams, there are different members of the same team who have different strengths, skills, and values.

    When you parent from the mentality of being on the same team, you empower the other parent to embrace their values, strengths, and skills to be the best that they can be.

    You allow them to be them.

    You trust that what they bring to the team is exactly what is needed. You notice and appreciate what they bring to the table.

    How Parent on the Same Team (even when you're NOT on the same page)

    1. Define Your Own Values
      • If you're like most parents, you've never taken the time to define your own values.
      • DO IT!
      • This will help you know what is truly important to you.
      • Look to your current reality and results.
        • Some values you may want to ditch.
        • Some values you will want to double down on.
    2. Define Your Own Role and Purpose
      • It's no one's job but your own to tell you what your job is as a parent.
      • Clearly define who you want to be as a parent.
      • This will help guide you in tough parenting moments.
    3. Explore Your Own Strengths and Skills
      • Believe it or not you have strengths and skills that no one else has!
      • You are uniquely equipped to help your teen in ways that no one else can.
      • Know your strengths and play to them.
      • Develop and hone your skills as a parent.
    4. Seek to Understand and Appreciate Your Spouse as They Are
      • Your spouse has their own values.
      • They have their own role and purpose.
      • They have their own strengths and skills.
      • Appreciate that they bring things to the table that you simply can't do.
    5. Find Ways to Be on THEIR Team!
      • You don't have to be the team captain.
      • It's usually easier to join their team than to get them to join yours.
      • Find ways to support them and make them look good!
      • Protect them.
      • Help them thrive and succeed.

    Call to ACTION!

    Become A Firmly Founded Parent today. You can transform yourself as a parent!

    Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

    This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting.

    Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    How this Teen Developed Super-Confidence Through Self-Coaching! Jun 17, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    “Once you accept everything, and you become aware of how you're feeling and why your feeling that way, you can then move forward. instead continually just regressing backwards.”
    ~ Abdallah

    Abdallah Was Committed Because He Invested in Himself

    Abdallah's mom invited Abdallah to invest in himself and his future.

    It's painful to part with $500, but he trusted that it would be worth it.

    Teens get more value from coaching when they are fully committed and have invested in themselves.

    This motivated Abdallah to do the work and go ALL IN!

    Weekly Assignments and Why They Work

    The work is easy, but it impacts your life.

    It's one thing to put pen to paper, but when you internalize it and start to own it, that's when change starts to happen.

    It's not enough to do the assignments on a superficial level. It's important to dig deep and get vulnerable and uncomfortable to start seeing change.

    When you give it time to sink in, think about it, and meditate on it, the more powerful they become.

    Growth and Evidence of Growth What is Emotional Health

    Becoming more vulnerable. Having real vulnerable conversations. To have real vulnerable conversations, that I can hardly talk to someone in person about that. I don't think I could have done those kind of conversations. It was still difficult. Understanding that you can be vulnerable with yourself. You don't have to be vulnerable with everyone you meet. You create an environment where it is acceptable to be vulnerable.

    Being vulnerable is how to stop self-deception.

    We try to pretend that we are tough and not feeling negative emotions, but vulnerability is more powerful.

    Increased emotional health.

    After coaching, you know you can experience every and ALL emotions. Not only can you experience the emotions, but you can also identify and process the emotions.

    Most Powerful Coaching Session

    I was taught to not share emotions or get vulnerable. Once you accept everything, and you become aware of how you're feeling and why your feeling that way, you can then move forward. instead continually just regressing backwards.

    Abdallah was avoiding emotions in our coaching sessions. This was just a small sample of what was going on in his life. In wrestling, Abdallah was avoiding experiencing the doubt, fear, and shame that he thought would come with losing.

    When we peeled back the emotions, and experienced them, Abdallah realized that the emotions weren't so bad.

    We created a mental and emotional game plan for Abdallah's wrestling match. The mental and emotional game plan, coupled with the physical game plan set up Abdallah for success in the tournament.

    Once you've experienced the pain, there's no reason to shield yourself from the pain. You can just let lose and go all in.

    Stop over coaching yourself and just trust yourself.

    There was never anything wrong with you. I didn't fix you. I gave you some tools and helped you use them.

    The most powerful thing of the coaching sessions, yes it took some guidance, but EVERYTHING I needed, I already had within me.

    Call to ACTION!

    How would your life be better if you got coaching for yourself?

    How would your life be different if your teen learned the tools of self-coaching?

    You have the power to create real change in your life and the life of your teen.

    We have a group coaching program for both of you. Join TODAY!

    Join Firmly Founded Parent and Teen TODAY!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





    Be the Change from the Inside Out Jun 10, 2021
    Show notes

    "Send Ben a text"

    Times I've Tried to Change From the Outside In.

    I've got to be honest. I am guilty of trying to change things from the outside in. Even with everything that I know, I still find myself trying to change things from the outside in.

    Just yesterday, in fact it was probably today at like 12:30 am on the way home from my oldest son's basketball tournament, I tried to change something from the outside in.

    I wanted my son to go to summer football workouts the next morning and he didn't want to. I tried to change his mind. I tried to help him see that he was missing out on an opportunity to show up when tons of his teammates will be missing football due to the previous late night.

    I tried to help him see that this would be a powerful moment for him to demonstrate his commitment to football to his team and his coaches.

    I wanted to change him, how he was showing up in football, and I was losing this battle.

    I was totally trying to change something outside of myself, hoping it would change something inside of myself.

    I thought, if I could just get him to go to football, he'd be a better football player, he'd dominate the game, everyone would know that my offspring is superior in the sport of football, and I'd be proud!

    Inside Out vs Outside In

    Most people try to change things from the outside in.

    In parenting you might try to change your teen, your spouse, or your teen's choices, all so you can feel better inside.

    When it comes to health, you might try to change your exercise routine, your diet, or your doctor, all so you can be healthier on the inside.

    When it comes to wealth, you might try to work extra hours, get a new job or win the lottery, all so that on the inside you can enjoy the benefits of wealth.

    The problem is, these are all efforts to change something on the outside so you can experience change on the inside.

    Often times when you try to change things outside of yourself, you are focusing on things that you cannot control.

    The most powerful way to change is from the inside out!

    In PARENTING, rather that trying to change your spouse or teen so you can feel peace and confidence, YOU can BE THE CHANGE!
    Change how YOU Think, Feel, and Act. These are all internal changes. Change YOU and how you are BEing.

    When it comes to health, change who you are on the inside. I AM HEALTHY! Then, live from that place. As a healthy person, . . . I only eat food that fuels my body, . . . I enjoy regular vigorous activity.

    See how the change starts from the inside and then radiates outward?

    When it comes to wealth, choose to be wealthy. Choose to be generous and helpful. Choose to be intentional with your money. These all start on the inside.

    How to Change from the Inside Out

    Step #1 - Awareness

    As is the case so often, the first step is awareness. WHERE AM I TRYING TO CHANGE FROM THE OUTSIDE->IN?

    Step #2 - Identify & Shift

    Step #3 - Practice

    Call to ACTION!

    Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent!

    Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

    This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting.

    Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

    Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

    Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

    Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
    Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

    https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz





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