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Having It A.L.L. — Health
Having It A.L.L.

Welcome to Having It A.L.L., the podcast that flips the script on what it means to “have it all” in life. I’m Matthew Bivens, your host and friend, and I’m inviting you to join me in conversations designed to help you radically shift your confidence, self worth, and clarity. In order to create new results in your life – whether that’s in your relationships, your health, your money, your family or your life’s purpose – you must make new decisions and build new habits. This podcast will not only deliver the lessons and action items that will help you move the needle in your life, but also share the vulnerable and honest truth about the challenges of working to improve and ultimately master yourself. Each breakdown can lead to breakthrough, and we cover it all on this podcast. Personal development is not an easy road, but you can create meaningful change that lasts. Let’s do it together one choice at a time. Tune in each week and see that it’s not only possible to have it all, but that you were meant to all along!

Latest Episodes:

Epic Challenge: Learning Compassion and How To Trust Your Intuition with Anthony Strayhorn Dec 07, 2016

Show notes

In today's episode I'm going in with Anthony Strayhorn on his Epic Challenge - an area of his life where he is feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs!

Anthony's Epic Challenge is about learning how to toe the line between consideration and courage with his clients. He is a personal fitness coach and works with people who are looking to shift their fitness, lifestyle and consciousness. Anthony is looking to tap into his compassion more, but not at the expense of tough love. It's the balance of these two things he's striving for.

No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall!

Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen.

What you’ll hear in this episode:Anthony gets honest on his current Epic Challenge and why he’s sought feedback
The real feelings and emotions that come up when you give someone feedback they may not want to hear
How to juggle between coming from the mind and heart

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How Going Off The Beaten Trail Can Help You Find Your Path with Jake Heilbrunn Nov 29, 2016

Show notes

In today's episode I talk to Jake Heilbrunn about his inspiring story of dropping out of college to go on a soul searching journey through Central America, all captured in his new book "Off The Beaten Trail".

This self discovery journey gave Jake the opportunity to overcome fears, expand his perspective, and inspire himself to do (and be) things he didn't think possible.

Not only is the book itself an example of intention at work, but also the way that Jake sought out funding and endorsements.

Jake is also a speaker who uses his story to inspire people to follow their intuition and believe in their own greatness.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Jake’s amazing story of his solo backpacking journey through Central America
Embracing fear and moving through it to accomplish your goals
Simple ways to practice gratitude and abundance

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7 Thoughts On Gratitude You Haven't Heard Before Nov 24, 2016

Show notes

In this episode I'm talking all about Gratitude. I'm giving you 7 things you probably haven't heard before about gratitude. We're talking about gratitude in your personal finances, tools for helping you form a gratitude habit, how gratitude can improve your relationships, the power of gratitude to totally flip your mood, how we feel more gratitude for experiences rather than things, and why gratitude in conflict is more powerful than forgiveness or acceptance.

I used a few resources to create the list for this episode and I'm going to post them all in the show notes at www.FiresideNetwork.com. Just go there, select this show from the Shows list, and click on today's episode.

If you have some tips, thoughts or stories on gratitude, I'd love to hear them. Reach me on my personal email address at mattcbivens@gmail.com. I'd particularly love to hear how you've cultivated a regular gratitude habit into your life. If you send me your tips I'll do a follow up to this episode where I share them on air.

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The Danger Of Seeking Work-Life Balance Nov 19, 2016

Show notes

In this episode I tear apart the concept of “work-life balance” and explain why it’s dangerous, leads to unhealthy living, and why we have to replace it with a healthy and sustainable construct.

We’re all familiar with the idea of work-life balance. It’s a phrase and concept we’ve been fed for years. But have you really thought about the implications? What the phrase implies? And have you been able to create a work-life balance in your life for a significant period of time, and kept it going?!

I consider myself a student of balance. Truly, it’s something that when I realized I needed I got into action (both on the doing AND being side), to create a healthier balance of all things important in my life. For the past almost 4 years I’ve been playing a health and fitness game called the YourDay Balance Game (yup, “balance” is in the title!). I’ve tried different tools and trackers and systems to create balance, and I’ve discovered some powerful things about the concept of “work-life” balance that I want to reveal on this episode.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why we must do away with work-life balance as we know it
A much more powerful construct of balance that’s holistic, realistic and sustainable
An amazing tool to create meaningful and lasting balance in your life

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Epic Challenge: "Who Do I Need To Be To Release Self Judgement?" with Kelly Lynn Prime Nov 10, 2016

Show notes

It’s Epic Challenge time again! That means I’m going in with my guest on the area of their life where they are feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs!

This week I’m joined by Kelly Lynn Prime. Kelly’s Epic Challenge is about releasing self judgement, shifting the conversation of the inner critic, and surrendering to unconditional love.

No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall!

Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen.

What you’ll hear in this episode:Kelly get honest on her current Epic Challenge and why she’s sought feedback
The lenses through which Kelly sees and relates to herself
Methods of deflection used to avoid addressing the Epic Challenge
Raw and honest feedback Kelly received from her community on her Epic Challenge, and how she received it

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Melt Your Fears Like Butter Nov 02, 2016

Show notes

I’ve talked about facing fears a number of times on this show.

Most people who have a "self help" type of show probably talk a lot of about fears. And for great reason: Fears keep us from experiencing LOVE in life.

You can boil your decisions down to a choice between fear and love, and that includes your decision on how and who to BE in life.

So yes, fear is worth talking about!

Today I’m sharing with you a powerful new way to look at your fears, and what it takes to overcome them, that gave me one of those "mind = blown" moments when it was told to me.

This new paradigm around overcoming fears was shared with me by my coach, Day Adeogba, and has completely shifted how I think about and step into fears in my own life.

Chew on this:

“Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire.”

What does this mean? Well, I’m unpacking this powerful statement in today’s episode.

What you’ll hear in the episode.

The meaning of the phrase “Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire”.
A very personal example of me applying that wisdom
How to truly dissolve fears (and not repeat them)

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Do You Know Your Center? The Success Of Your Relationships Depends On It! Oct 27, 2016

Show notes

This episode was inspired by a conversation I had with my father. Like many topics I cover in this podcast, my own life is the testing ground where I attempt to choose LOVE over FEAR, and share with you the things I've learned.

Today I'm talking about the importance of knowing what your center is - the lens through which you see the world and relationship that shapes your values, thoughts and behaviors.

There are many different centers you can have. You can be Spouse centered, Money centered, Family centered, Work centered, Possession centered, Pleasure centered, and more.

Each of these centers has a consequence. The person who is Spouse centered, for example, feels secure when their spouse treats them well, and insecure when they don't. The person who is Money centered derives their sense of self worth from their net work.

Each center carries with it a way of looking at and relating to the world.

As you can see by now, these centers are incredibly important because they shape how we see the world.

Quick note: the centers I'm referring to come straight from Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.

In this podcast episode I share with you a consequence of being Family centered, and how relationships hinge on not only knowing your loved ones center, but also understanding how those centers shape how they perceive the world and how they prefer to be treated.

What you'll hear in this episode:

A breakdown of the consequences of being Family centered
The 5 Love Languages
The importance of knowing not only your center and your Love Language, but that of the people closest to you

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Who Are You When No One Is Watching? Oct 19, 2016

Show notes

The self improvement game is, many times, a public one. Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional self work can all be done in the open or with a group of people. And with group meditation and yoga and other similar things really taking off these days, one could buy into the idea that self improvement is a public act.

But there's something so much more important than the things we're DOING to improve our relationship to our selves, others and life, and that's who we're BEING.

I've talked about Doing vs Being on the podcast before, but today's topic takes it a degree further. Today I'm going in on the question: Who are you when no one is watching?

So, I ask YOU -- when you're alone, in your secrecy, with no one watching and no one holding you accountable except for yourself, who are you? How do you treat yourself? What allowances do you give yourself? What language do you use to describe yourself and those around you?

The way you answer those questions reveals more about your true state of being than other more outward displays of wellness.

It's said that you have between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day. If you were to categorize each as a LOVING thought or FEARFUL thought, what would your ratio be?

What you'll hear in this episode:

How my secret self was exposed recently, and the consequences of my seeing the truth
The self talk that contributes to us playing small
The costs of not doing what you say you will do

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Epic Challenge: Walking Into My Authentic Self with Sandy Chambers Oct 05, 2016

Show notes

On today’s episode we explore another EPIC CHALLENGE!

This time I’m sitting down with my great friend Sandy Chambers as we explore her current challenge: Who do I need to be to feel powerful, healthy and light in my body, and graduate to the Intermediate playing field in the YourDay Balance Game*?

Sandy holds nothing back as she shares why she considers this challenge EPIC, the feedback she received about how she can power through her epic challenge, and the actions she has taken to heal and grow.

Some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears. We talk about some grown folks stuff here!

The YourDay Balance Game is a world class health and fitness game that is governed by balance and love. The YourDay Balance Game (YDBG) has three dimensions (Fitness, Lifestyle and Consciousness) and each of these three dimensions can be measured (through the Gameday, Balance Chart and COI respectively). The fitness assessment (Gameday) measures body composition, strength, endurance and flexibility. There are 5 levels in the Gameday (Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Pro and All Star) with the requirements and exercises in each growing in difficulty as you progress. Sandy is currently a Beginner player in her Gameday, and a major part of her current Epic Challenge is who she needs to be to graduate to the Intermediate level.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Sandy open up on her current Epic Challenge and why she’s sought feedback
The three major areas to address in order to move through the challenge
Some very intentional and powerful actions Sandy has gotten into to create a new experience for herself

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Learning How to Choose Happiness and Create The Life You Want with Heather Gray Sep 29, 2016

Show notes

There’s a fundamental belief that separates the people who feel like they have it all from the people who don’t, and that’s the belief that you have the power to CHOOSE.

It’s all about CHOICE. That’s the difference maker.

People who feel in their heart and soul that they have it all, have made a conscious choice to feel that way. They’ve literally decided that they can have it all in life, and subsequent choices aligned with the core belief.

My guest today is a powerful example and evangelist of that belief!

Heather Gray’s business name says it all: Choose To Have It All. Sounds sort of familiar, huh?

Heather is an executive coach, working with entrepreneurs and business leaders who have achieved that EXTERNAL success - you know, the great career, fat bank account, titles behind their name, but that success has come at the expense of their internal well being. What Heather does is she helps them have the lifestyle and wealth that they want, but also the personal fulfillment that they truly desire.

If you’ve read Stephen Covey’s landmark book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, then you may remember that Habit #1 is “Be Proactive”, and that the essence of that habit (the major takeaway) is CHOICE. Proactive people are aware of their ability to choose: choose their response to circumstances, choose their relationship to themselves, others and life, and choose their level of joy and peace in life.

That’s the recurring theme in my conversation with Heather.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How to tap into your previous experience to find strength and add to your personal toolbox
Why you sometimes have to “embrace the suck” in order to move forward
How to show compassion and empathy in the face of someone else’s struggle

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