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Having It A.L.L. — Health
Having It A.L.L.

Welcome to Having It A.L.L., the podcast that flips the script on what it means to “have it all” in life. I’m Matthew Bivens, your host and friend, and I’m inviting you to join me in conversations designed to help you radically shift your confidence, self worth, and clarity. In order to create new results in your life – whether that’s in your relationships, your health, your money, your family or your life’s purpose – you must make new decisions and build new habits. This podcast will not only deliver the lessons and action items that will help you move the needle in your life, but also share the vulnerable and honest truth about the challenges of working to improve and ultimately master yourself. Each breakdown can lead to breakthrough, and we cover it all on this podcast. Personal development is not an easy road, but you can create meaningful change that lasts. Let’s do it together one choice at a time. Tune in each week and see that it’s not only possible to have it all, but that you were meant to all along!

Latest Episodes:

The 5 W's Of Radical Self Awareness Apr 21, 2017

Show notes

In this episode I'm giving you the 5 W's of radical self awareness. Each of the 5 W's will give you questions to ponder about your life: the people you surround yourself with, the environments you place yourself in, the path that you're currently on, the destination you want to make it to, the catalysts that will inspire you to leave your safety net.

Now, the credit for this episode has to be given to listener Benjamin Foley. Benjamin reached out to me via email this week and we started a dialogue. I quickly learned that Benjamin has a similar beliefs about health and happiness, and we share a unique relationship to fear and anxiety -- we lean into them.

I also learned that Benjamin is a great writer and shares his thoughts on his blog. That's where I found the article which inspired this podcast episode. That article is called "Advice On Anxiety No One Tells You" (link below).

In this episode you'll get some great tools for introspection that are guaranteed to help you realign your life to healing and love. It takes courage to do this kind of work, but I know you're just the bold person to do it!

Notes from this episode:

Music:

Theme song is “Love” by maxzwell

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A New Way To Think About Life Balance Apr 14, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm introducing a simple and new way to think about life balance. It's called "The Body Vehicle" and in the episode I'm breaking down exactly what the Body Vehicle is, what it reveals about life balance, and how you can apply it to your own life.

This concept of The Body Vehicle is not of my own creation. I learned it through the YourDay Balance Game (a health and fitness game governed by love and balance). Since balance is in the title of the YourDay Balance Game, you can believe that achieving a work-life balance is part of the makeup! The Body Vehicle is actually just one of many different ways I've learned to conceptualize and approach life balance through the YDBG, and I'll be covering a few more of those ways in future episodes.

But today I'm focusing on the Body Vehicle.

Here's a thought for you to chew on: if your body were a car on the road of Life, how smooth is your ride? To take it a step further, if your car had 5 wheels on it (Spiritual, Mental, Social, Emotional and Physical) and the smoothness of your ride was determined by how inflated or deflated those tires were, what does your ride feel like now?

Are you riding through life with a few under-inflated tires?

Is your ride bumpy because you've over-inflated some of your wheels, and maybe don't even have certain wheels at all?

I'm going to break down this helpful analogy further in the episode, explain to you each of the 5 wheels and how they interact, and give you a few things to chew on that will help you evaluate just how smooth or bumpy your ride through life is on your Body Vehicle.

Music:

Theme song is “Love” by maxzwell

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The 8 Habits Of A Humble Badass Apr 04, 2017

Show notes

On this episode I'm joined by my wife Sarah as she breaks down the 8 habits of a Humble Badass. What is a Humble Badass you ask? Well you'll have to tune in to find out!

The premise of this show is looking at how we can create more ABUNDANCE and LOVE in our LIVES so that we can have the experience of life we truly desire. Sarah's message aligns perfectly with that because her approach to wellness (Sarah is a Balance Lifestyle Coach and Personal Trainer) is one that emphasizes the values of the show.

In our conversation we go through the 8 frameworks of Unleash Your Humble Badass, the process that Sarah takes her lifestyle coaching clients through. It's this same process and framework that allows Sarah to show up powerfully in all her roles in life, and I'm super excited to hand these tools over to you and see what you do with them!

Everything we're talking about are simply tools. You may choose to pick them up and use them, or not. There is not one single path to experiencing abundance and love in life (if someone tells you there is, you may want to turn the other way). What I'm offering you up in this episode is a path that might resonate with your spirit.

Check it out and get ready to unleash your Humble Badass!

Show notes:

Learn more about Unleash Your Humble Badass at www.SarahBivens.com/badass
The 5 Love Languages
Simon Sinek "Why"
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People
The YourDay Balance Game
My first conversation with Sarah -- Why Personal Mission Statements Are The Most Powerful Way To Uncover Your Direction And Path

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A Story of Healing: Using Curiosity and Courage to Find Yourself with Monique Ruffin (Rebroadcast) Mar 30, 2017

Show notes

Today's episode is a rebroadcast of an episode from the first few weeks of the podcast. In it, I'm having an amazing conversation with Monique Ruffin.

Monique Ruffin is a celebration of living. She is one of those people that folks say has “A beautiful soul”.

And I completely understand why.

Monique grew up in the neighborhood of Watts in Los Angeles. Yes, that Watts. It's where Sanford And Sons was set, and was where Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke duke it out in Training Day.

That neighborhood is not known for many empowering things, but it’s where Monique called home.

Growing up in an area impacted by crack, with parents in and out of jail, many wouldn’t have been surprised if Monique failed to transcend her environment. But she did, and in a big way.

Monique is a mother, writer, creator, coach, radio host and group facilitator. But most of all she’s an example of what it looks like to live with heart, authenticity, courage, vulnerability and realness.

In our conversation, Monique and I talk about her childhood, the lessons she’s learned as a mother, and how we can all grow beyond our circumstances.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

How to understand yourself so you can navigate life’s challenging circumstances
The power of being curious
2 profound takeaways from motherhood

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The Real Benefit Of Intermittent Fasting Mar 23, 2017

Show notes

In this episode I’m talking about my experience with intermittent fasting - a pattern of eating and fasting that has become popular in the health and fitness community lately. I have been doing intermittent fasting for the past 4 years, yet my reasons for it are probably much different than most.

Intermittent fasting most recently came into public awareness by Terry Crews - the actor and former football player with the crazy fit body and totally weird Old Spice commercials. He was interviewed on Business Insider about his eating patterns. In the interview he shared how intermittent fasting has helped him stay in shape.

Perform a Google search of "intermittent fasting" and you'll see plenty of people in support, and some against.

In this episode I'm not giving you any medical advice on advice on physical health or nutrition. Instead, I'm sharing with you one of the consequences with intermittent fasting, and that's how it reveals your attachments.

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The 3 Mindsets That Have Transformed My Confidence, Relationships and Wealth Mar 15, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm sharing with you three mindsets that have been the biggest catalysts for my personal transformation over the past 4 years. From my self confidence, to the quality of my relationships, to my ability to attract money and create wealth, these 3 things have been the spark for them all.

This episode was inspired by a question I was asked last week, "What would you attribute to the huge transformation you've made in your life over the past 4 years?".

Here's where I was:

I didn't trust myself. I had low confidence that I could do and achieve what I wanted to in life (financially, career wise, goal wise, in relationships, etc.)
I wore a mask of physical confidence -- friends saw me as a person who was confident in my body, but internally I judged, and compared and told myself that I was never big, strong, "black" enough.
I had complete financial immaturity. I was totally scarce minded. Afraid to look at my bank account. Anxious during financial conversation. I was swimming in student loan and credit card debt, and had no plan to get out because I was so scared of my personal finances.
I had a lukewarm intimate relationship with my wife (dating at the time). We both came into the relationship with fears, judgements, negative self talk, and that created a lukewarm bedroom.

Where I am 4 years later:

Insane confidence in myself, that's grounded with humility. I have come to understand things about myself, how I operate, what I'm capable of, that I never knew before. realized I'm stronger, smarter, more resourceful, kind, compassionate, passionate, sexy, courageous than I ever knew possible. Also realized that I don't know it all, that my growth is contingent upon my ability to seek and receive feedback powerfully. That's where my humility comes from.
I have a strong, passionate, loving, trusting relationship with my wife. connected, not attached. Amazing sex and intimacy. We feel confident to explore the parameters of our relationship and what loving one another unconditionally means. For us that looks like non-monogamy. We're married and love each other completely, and we support one another in creating powerful, intimate relationships with other people (physically, spiritually, emotionally....all of that)
Iv'e opened myself up to receive abundance and generate more money today than I ever have, with much less effort. I have confidence in my ability to achieve the goals I set out. I'm able to take risks and do things that no one else around me is doing (quit my job to pursue a passion, right before having a baby, start a podcast, leverage my gifts and talents, build an online empire).

Listen to the episode to hear the 3 mindsets that have led to all of these personal transformations.

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How To Stop Making Fear Based Decision Mar 07, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm sharing with you some steps to help you to stop making fear based decisions in your life, especially around major life decisions, and to start deciding from a place of love.

I think we all know what it's like to be at a crossroads, and to choose the path of fear. I've done it countless times in my past and each time it left me feeling regretful, shameful, guilty or another one of the many fear based emotions that are available to choose from.

Most of us also know what it's like to choose the path of love and growth as well, and we've experienced the freedom, excitement, energy, healing, and possibility that comes from choosing in that state of mind.

In this episode I explore the consequences of both types of decision making, and I give you some tips on how to avoid making fear based decisions that leave you feeling less than.

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The Secret Consequences of Being Authentic and Transparent with Paul Colaianni (Rebroadcast) Mar 02, 2017

Show notes

This episode is a rebroadcast of a powerful conversation I had with Paul Colaianni -- host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast and author of "The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth For Critical Thinkers".

Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals.

In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living

authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self.

Notes From This Episode:

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The Consequence Of Breaking Promises To Yourself Feb 23, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm talking about the importance of keeping the promises you make to yourself. As with many things in life, our ability to keep promises to others is linked to our ability to keep promises to ourselves. If we break internal promises we're more likely to break external promises, both big and small. The idea of integrity is at stake here -- doing what you say you will do. Each time you don't keep a promise to yourself, you let yourself down. Your confidence is shook. You don't believe you'll be able to do it next time. And at that point you're sunk. Failing to keep a promise communicates that you don't value the person you made the promise to, which in this case is YOU. Failing to keep promises erodes trust. It messes with your self esteem, confidence, our experience of life. In short, there are many crappy consequences to failing to keep promises to yourself. Yet we continue to do it. For me, it wasn't until I became aware of (A) just how frequently I was breaking promises to myself, and (B) the impact that breaking those promises was having on my ability to keep my word with other people, that I truly started understanding the significance of my actions, and started making a change. Here's how to keep more of the promises you make to yourself (borrowed from this blog article):

Make it concrete -- smart goals
Write it down
Start small

if you can do the small, you can do the big (opposite is also true: if you CANT do the small, how can you do the big?)

Do it no matter what

you may make excuses, rationalize not doing it, have 100 great reasons why something else is more important -- do it anyway

Hold same standard for others

Notes from this episode:

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How I'm Fixing My F'd Up Relationship Towards Money Feb 16, 2017

Show notes

In this episode I'm talking about an aspect of health and wellness that I don't think gets a lot of attention, and that's your relationship towards money. For 18 years I've had an incredibly disempowering relationship with my personal finances. I went years without looking into the state of my personal finances, dodging creditor phone calls, never checking my credit score, and blowing all my cash as soon as it was payday. What that got me was massive anxiety around just about anything money related.

But things changed for me 2 years ago when I became very intentional about shifting my relationship towards money.

Now, I believe that a healthy relationship towards and knowledge of your personal finances is vital to feeling like you have it all. Remember, A.L.L. stands for "Abundant Loving Life", and Life can be broken down to the 6 F's of: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, FINANCE and Fun. How can you have an abundant and loving relationship with Finance if you're afraid of it?

I'm sharing with you some of the mindset shifts that have happened with me that has ushered me down a new path in how I experience my finances and with what I'm attracting. I'm also sharing with you the tool that Sarah and I use to get out household finances in order and finally feel like we're adults who are on top of things!

Notes from this episode:

The 7 Baby Steps in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace

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