Having It A.L.L.

Latest Episodes:

I'm Feeling Tired Of Working On Myself Feb 16, 2017

Show notes

I'm coming clean in this episode and am sharing something I've been feeling for a little while now: I'm tired of working on myself.

I'm tired of feeling like I need to constantly improve myself, fix things, heal wounds, grow and transform. At the moment - and I stress that I understand this to be a momentary feeling and not a permanent state, but nevertheless - I feel the desire to unplug, get out of my environment for a bit, and live on a beach. Yes, I want to spend my days in the sun and sand : )

I'm sharing this for a few reasons: First, it's my truth and this show is all about transparency. So there's that. Second, because I know other people out there are feeling similar. You are feeling totally inundated with "self help" stuff. You can't open up your social media without seeing inspirational quotes and videos with dramatic music. You can't walk through a bookstore without someones guide to improving everything that's wrong with you being broadcast from a shelf. You can't hop into a podcast without people giving you tips for how you can "level up" and "hack" your life. I'm probably guilty on that one myself.

But if you're feeling the way I have been feeling lately, then this episode is giving you permission to vent, let it out, confess the mortal sin of feeling fed up with self help, and be a real person.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be Aware Of How Your Thoughts Impact Your Performance Feb 16, 2017

Show notes

In this episode I'm giving two examples of how your thinking impacts your ability to perform. I talk about the consequences on your body of holding loving and empowering thoughts versus fearful and scarce thoughts. And I challenge you to become more aware of the individual thoughts you choose to hold and replay in your mind that are influencing how you feel about yourself, others and life.

Your thoughts have a huge impact on how you show up in life physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. The conversations you have in your head, the beliefs you hold about yourself, others and life, all impact your ability to perform.

My examples today both come from the local gym I'm a member of, and I think gyms are a great place to illustrate the power of your thinking. In a gym, when stress is being applied to our bodies, we are presented with fantastic circumstances to become aware of our thinking and to experience the consequences of those thoughts.

If you hold negative, disempowering thoughts while you're body is under physical stress, you will most likely break under the pressure. In a gym this looks like not making it through an exercise, dropping the weights, screaming breathlessly. But when we hold empowering, loving thoughts, we're able to more easily tap into flow and stay in our power. If you haven't experienced it yourself then simply walk into a gym and observe the people around you. You will see many examples of people's minds dictating their output.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Importance Of Acknowledging Your Own Growth Feb 06, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm talking about how important it is that you periodically take time to acknowledge how far you've come in your personal growth journey. So frequently we are caught up in the pursuit of whatever it is that we're going after -- peace, joy, greatness, self mastery, personal development -- that we neglect to realize how far we've come. We spend our time thinking about how much further we have to go, and totally disregard the tremendous amount of healing and growing we had to do to get where we are today.

I give you a couple of personal examples that I experienced very recently where I had an opportunity to recognize growth: one example with my wife and one example with both my wife and myself.

If you're listening to this show then I can safely bet that you have been doing some sort of "work" on yourself. It will look different to different people, but I'm confident that one of your personal goals is to be a better person today (however you define better) than you were yesterday. I think that's great and love the fact that you're into self improvement.

But I feel that self improvement needs to come with context and a point of reference in order to be truly appreciated, and to not simply become something that you're pursuing without knowing the end in mind.

I share you with you stories and experiences in the hope that you will take something away from them that you can apply to your life. We're all connected, we all experience the same emotions with different catalysts, and in recording this episode I'm giving myself permission to stop and recognize my own healing and growth.

Notes from this episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

QUICK FIX: Learn To Love Life's Hardships Jan 26, 2017

Show notes

In today's quick fix I let you know why you need to learn to love and get excited about life's hardships

--- Rough episode transcript ---

If you’re listening to this podcast then I know that you’re into improving yourself and truly stepping into your badassness, and I can bet that you’ve been practicing. Maybe it’s meditating or journaling or being grateful or facing your fears or practicing humility. Whatever it is, this message for you. WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN IN LIFE, WHICH HAPPENS AND WILL NEVER STOP HAPPENING UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD, YOU NEED TO BE PSYCHED ABOUT IT! Hear me out. You’ve been doing all of these things to improve yourself. You’ve been finding your strength, uncovering your gifts, revealing your mission and purpose. You’ve been practicing getting organized and being compassionate and having courage. You’ve been listening to podcasts and reading books and attending retreats and buying courses. All of these things have been your training, and none of it matters when life is going smoothly. When life is great and everything is working out in your favor and the tides are rising, you’re not asked to be courageous and humble and intelligent and mature. It’s only when shit goes south, when life smacks you in the face with circumstances, that your training is put to the test. So, you have to start relating to life’s circumstances as GAME TIME! Seriously. When you create a fender bender on the way to work, or your kitchen floods, or your kid does something dumb and gets arrested, or your baby won’t stop crying, or your partner is withholding love — THAT is when you will really get a chance to see how far you’ve come. It’s in those moments that all the reps you’ve put in reading and meditating and working on yourself matter. Because when you’re able to respond differently to a situation that you’ve responded to the same way your whole life, you’ve just won and you’ve stepped your game up just a little bit. So get excited when things go south, because it’s in these moments when you actually have an opportunity to grow. As I say all the time, HAVING IT ALL is about your relationship to life and what it serves up, so next time you’re presented with a circumstance that sucks, remember that’s it’s an opportunity to grow into a greater version of yourself. That’s it for today. Check out the show notes for this episode for links to the music. You can find them at Fireside Network.com. Keep the emails coming. I appreciate them. You can hit me up at mattcbivens@gmail.com. If you got something from today’s episode then I’d really appreciate a review on iTunes. Just search “Having it all” and you’ll find it. And I’m out!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

QUICK FIX: What Games Are You Winning At? Jan 10, 2017

Show notes

I 100% believe that you are a winner!

I'm not talking about in the blow smoke up your ass self help type of way.

You are winning at the games you're choosing to play in life.

Some of us are playing the game of VICTIM, others are playing the game of being BROKE, others are playing the game of NOT VALUING THEMSELVES.

What games are you winning at in life?

---- Rough Transcript ----

I watched the College Football National Championship game last night between Clemson and Alabama. Great game, had everything you want in sports: drama, great plays, last minute heroics. Half of the players and fans enjoyed the outcome of the game, half hated it. Reminded me that we are all winning at the games we're playing in life. Here are some common games that we play:

Playing the game of being led by your emotions - There are much bigger games than your emotions. But when you don't see it that way, people show up in your life to ride the emotional roller coaster with you, or to turn that roller coaster into high gear.
Playing the game of “I ain’t got no power, no influence, no voice, no impact”
Playing the game of being an overworked mom
Playing the game of being under-appreciated - People don’t value you. You don’t matter. YOU don’t value you.
Playing the game of being the victim

I’ve certainly won at that game. In my past, I’ve won at the game of “Life doesn’t want me to experience massive joy” I’ve won at the game of “You’re not smart enough, strong enough, clever enough, sexy enough to have the life you want” I’ve won at the game of “You will never experience the abundance that you seek” I’ve certainly won those games. But you know what, someone else can keep those trophies because I’m through with that! These days I’m playing different games:

Playing the game of Self Mastery
Playing the game of personal greatness
Playing the game of positively impacting everyone you contact

SO what games are YOU winning at? And are you enjoying the spoils of your triumphs? If not, why the hell are you still playing them?

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Cope When S*** Hits The Fan Jan 07, 2017

Show notes

In today's episode I'm giving you two new beliefs to wear on for when the stuff hits the fan in your life. If you've ever felt like life keeps dealing you a raw hand, that you keep on being served up trial after trial, and that the next challenge seems bigger than the last, then you want to pay attention!

A while ago I was handed two new beliefs to try on for when circumstances arise. Beliefs are like t-shirts, you can try them on to see how they fit. Keep the ones that work for you and put them on again whenever you need them. Or discard them if they don't work for you. That's the great thing about beliefs, they are abundant!

The things I'm talking about today will help you remain in your power when adversity comes your way.

--- Rough Transcript ---

This week I was presented with circumstances that trusted my Faith. Faith is TRUST + SURRENDER. My basement flooded, destroying some things I had stored down there, and knocking out my hot water. Not the worst situation in the world, but definitely something that I could at one time have made a big deal over. 2 beliefs I’ve adopted that help me deal with circumstances of all sizes:

God, The Universe, whatever NEVER presents you with something you cannot handle.
You’re equipped to handle everything that comes your way. it may not seem that way, it may hurt and you may cry and scream and curse, but if it’s presented to you that means you can handle it. Always. Never fails. Don’t believe me? Think about this: if you’re hearing my voice right now, listening to this podcast, that means that you’ve survived every single hardship that has come your way. No matter how insurmountable it seemed at the time. You made it. Today, in this present
You are always able to choose how you will respond to situations
You may not be able to control what happens, but you can always control how you choose to respond.

The way I chose to relate to my circumstance absolutely impacted how it ended up. People went out of their way to fix our basement for us. They got us a hotel, came over after hours and stayed late into the night in the freezing temps to fix our issue.

The situation was 100% impacted by how I chose to view and respond to the circumstance.

It all comes down to your relationship to the circumstance and your response to the circumstance.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

QUICK FIX: What is your word for 2017? Jan 01, 2017

Show notes

Bonus episode today. This episode is all about being intentional on how you want to experience 2017. It's about mindset and creating the context for how you will approach circumstances that come at you in the next year. It's probably the easiest activity you can do to get clear on how you'll have it all next year.

I was getting my mind focused on 2017, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to experience, and what I wanted to create in the year, and it got me thinking about my word for the year.

Last year my word was "Creation" and I did a whole lot of that during the year. My wife and I created life and welcomed our daughter Maya in September. I created multiple businesses and products. I launched 2 podcasts - this show and Doing It At Home (my home birth podcast with my wife). I created new friends and created new experiences with old friends. I also created countless opportunities to practice humility, surrender, and patience.

This year my word -- well actually my phrase -- is BEAST MODE. To me that means being bold, courageous, fearless and loving. It's the mindset I will have as I step into the fire and uncomfortable circumstances. It's the person I will be in the most important roles in my life. It's how I'll approach business and creating new opportunities.

So what is your word for 2017?

Email me at mattcbivens@gmail.com and tell me your word. Or use the contact form on www.MatthewBivens.com.

The theme music from this episode is called Love by maxzwell - https://soundcloud.com/maxzwell/love

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The #1 Reason You Fail At New Years Resolutions Dec 30, 2016

Show notes

Today we're talking about new year resolutions and why so many of us fail at keeping them going year after year. I look at the statistics behind new years resolution failure, the most common resolutions set each year, and explore some reasons why they fail and tips to avoid failure. I also share an interesting psychological angle into why we don't succeed with our resolutions. But all of this is overshadowed by the #1 reason why we fail to accomplish our new years resolutions, which I share at the end.

It's 2 days before the new year, and I want to talk about NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. I've got some statistics and psychology in this episode, and I'll link to all of the resources that I used in the show notes on Fireside Network. What you'll hear in today's episode:

The research on New Years Resolutions and why they fail
An interesting psychological phenomena that could be hurting your chances of succeeding with your resolutions
My #1 reason why resolutions fail, and what to do about it

Resources from this episode:

* LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684

* CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/

* LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/

* SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Consequences Of Brutal Honesty Dec 21, 2016

Show notes

In today's episode I'm talking about the consequences of brutal honesty. There can be a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety associated with honesty, despite the freeing impact that complete honesty can have on ourselves and in our relationships.

This episode was inspired by an article I read titled "The Pros And Cons Of Brutal Honesty". The following quote from the article sets up this episode perfectly:

"People that stop growing are individuals who decide they can no longer handle brutal honesty. " I believe part of what it means to love someone unconditionally - yourself included - is being honest with them. Honest with how they are showing up, your feelings towards them, how you experience them, what you'd like to experience with them, what you see for them, the impact they have on your life. This show is about rewriting beliefs, moving through fears, discovering your truth, and viewing life through a lens of abundance and love -- and getting there, for most of us, takes growth. What you'll hear in this episode:

The common consequences, both welcomed and not, of being brutally honest
My experience with being deceptive and opaque in relationships
A great free tool to help you practice honesty with yourself

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trusting Yourself and Living Life On Your Terms with Dr. Tiffany Stewart Dec 14, 2016

Show notes

In today’s episode I’m talking with Dr. Tiffany Stewart on living life on your own terms and using visualization and goal setting to create the life you want to live.

***

Remember in grade school when we wanted to be excused from class to go to the bathroom, what did we need to make that happen? A permission slip!

Well, somewhere between then and adulthood many of us neglected to drop that belief when it came to living our most joyful and authentic lives! We believe that permission is needed to create a life that we are passionate to live.

My guest today has built her career off of rescripting that belief and helping people create the life that they want.

Dr. Tiffany Stewart. Tiffany is a mother, coach, professor, counselor, businesswoman and speaker. Her passion is to help individuals who may be stuck in some area of life, tap into their power and give themselves permission to step into their purpose and create the life they want to live. What you'll hear in this episode:What you'll hear in this episode:

Tiffany’s story of rewriting the beliefs of her childhood
How to flip the script on the “imposter syndrome”
5 questions to ask yourself to find your purpose

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected