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Having It A.L.L. — Health
Having It A.L.L.

Welcome to Having It A.L.L., the podcast that flips the script on what it means to “have it all” in life. I’m Matthew Bivens, your host and friend, and I’m inviting you to join me in conversations designed to help you radically shift your confidence, self worth, and clarity. In order to create new results in your life – whether that’s in your relationships, your health, your money, your family or your life’s purpose – you must make new decisions and build new habits. This podcast will not only deliver the lessons and action items that will help you move the needle in your life, but also share the vulnerable and honest truth about the challenges of working to improve and ultimately master yourself. Each breakdown can lead to breakthrough, and we cover it all on this podcast. Personal development is not an easy road, but you can create meaningful change that lasts. Let’s do it together one choice at a time. Tune in each week and see that it’s not only possible to have it all, but that you were meant to all along!

Latest Episodes:

Here's Why You Keep Getting Into Unhealthy Relationships Sep 20, 2016

Show notes

Today's podcast was inspired by an email I received from a listener.

Her situation is something that I think many of us can relate to, and it has to do with RELATIONSHIPS.

Situation: you're in a relationship, it ends for whatever reason, you feel hurt/betrayed/wronged, you do some soul searching, learn a few things about yourself, seek out and find a new relationship, get hurt/betrayed/wronged all over again, and wonder "Why this keeps on happening to me"

Sound familiar?

I'm proposing that you don't need to do more soul searching, meditating, or any of that stuff. What you need to do is develop relationship standards where you get crystal clear on the type of person you will ALLOW into your life (or your bed!) and stick to your damn standards!

The less than healthy relationships you have are due to a lack of accountability and STANDARDS around them.

What you'll hear in this episode:

Why creating relationship standards is only half of the equation
How creating standards can help you manifest the person who will uphold those standards
A simple process to get you started on creating your relationship standards

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What The Birth Of My Child Has Taught Me About Faith (It's Not What You're Thinking) Sep 16, 2016

Show notes

This episode is all about FAITH, but not in the most widely used sense. I’m talking about having supreme confidence and trust in someone or something.

I look at faith like this: FAITH = TRUST + SURRENDER.

On Sunday September 11th, Sarah and I welcomed the birth of our daughter Maya. Through that experience I both witnessed and practiced the most humbling amount of trust and surrender that I have in my life thus far.

Sarah surrendered to her body, to the labor waves, to her coaches. I trusted in our preparation, in the team we assembled, and in my ability to support.

Witnessing what I can only describe as pure faith on the parts of everyone involved, I began to think about the other areas in my life where my personal faith is lacking. Where I’m failing to trust someone or something, and where I’m fighting for control rather than surrendering.

This episode is all about faith, trust and surrender. I briefly talk about Maya’s birth experience, but spend the bulk of the episode diving into what it looks and feels like when we lack faith in our lives.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

A powerful recontextualization of faith that you can apply to your life
Examples of what lacking faith, trust and surrender look and feel like
A call for you to examine what processes you’re hindering through your lack of faith

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Epic Challenge: Knowing Whether to Move On or Dive In with Larry Nichols Sep 07, 2016

Show notes

Since January 2014 my wife and I have been a part of a weekly accountability group called a Circle Of Influence (COI). A standard part of each COI meeting is to cover one person’s Epic Challenge.

Through sitting in dozens and dozens of Epic Challenges (some of them my own), over the past 2.5 years, I’ve experience just how transformational of a process it can be when a person is willing to explore a stuck area in their lives, open to receiving feedback that’s coming from a loving and honest place, and willing to act (or not) on the feedback to impact their growth.

I wanted to bring the power of the Epic Challenge to more people, and that inspired this brand new series in the podcast where we will be diving into people’s Epic Challenges!

First up is Larry Nichols. Larry is a great friend of mine and a true source of inspiration for me and many others. He has an incredibly big heart and does not hold back on pouring love into everyone he meets, from lifelong friends to strangers on an airplane. He’s just one of those people with an infectious smile that makes you think, “Why is this man so happy??”

In this episode Larry talks with me about his current Epic Challenge, which centers on two things: how his current work aligns with his passions, and his ability to maintain his personal integrity in everything he does.

Larry’s challenge is incredibly relatable to anyone who has questioned their job or the business they are in, and who has searched for meaning behind the work they do.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Larry and I dive into his Epic Challenge to uncover the root of where he’s stuck
The feedback Larry received around his Epic Challenge that helped him get unstuck
Actions that Larry has taken to create a new experience for himself

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How To Expand The Great Things In Life Through Focus Aug 30, 2016

Show notes

You've probably heard sayings like"What you think you become." (Buddha) and "What you focus on expands." (T. Harv Eker).

They are great and make for awesome social media quotes and refrigerator magnets.

But I think the fact that they are used (perhaps overused today) so much has watered down the impact of the message.

The things that we choose to focus our time, energy, thoughts and resources on, grow and multiply and become more real for us.

We can all conjure up examples of this in our lives. It doesn't take much mental effort to do.

But I know that for at least myself, I don't take it to heart enough, and I wonder why it may be hard to shake feelings of frustration, sadness or resentment.

It's because I'm focusing on them, instead of the amazing things in life!

This episode was inspired by an Epic Challenge that a friend of mine brought into our accountability group and received feedback on. Part of her feedback was that "the things you focus on expand", and it hit me in a powerful way because of the place that I was in at the time.

In this episode I talk about the Epic Challenge feedback, discuss examples of things that I've been focusing on that have expanded in my world, and provide some solutions for creating and experiencing more great moments and less sad moments.

What you'll learn in this episode:

How to experience more great things in life through focus
9 simple actions to help you form a gratitude habit

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“I Can’t F*&%$#@ Do This” - Breaking Your Fear Patterns Once And For All Aug 17, 2016

Show notes

By now you might have heard of the Tony Robbins documentary “I am not your guru”. It’s been making its way around Netflix and the internet. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you give it a watch!

Well, I checked it out the other day and can honestly say that few other documentaries have inspired me as much as this one.

It wasn’t Tony Robbins who inspired me. I love his approach to personal transformation. I love how raw and real he is. I love his boldness and that he’s not afraid to call people on their bullshit. All of that makes for some compelling tv!

But no, it wasn’t Tony who inspired me.

Instead, I was inspired by the people in the documentary who recognized their opportunity for breakthrough, and boldly stepped into it.

This happens a handful of times in the documentary, and each time it’s amazing to watch them process the situation, become aware of their breakthrough moment, analyze the risk/reward, confront the terror that comes up, and take ACTION!

This episode is about what it really takes to experience a breakthrough in your life. To get unstuck. To start experiencing things in a dramatically different way. It takes action. It takes movement. It takes getting out of your head and getting into your heart and doing something that you know to be the best move for you, but scares you shitless.

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How To Believe In Your Bigness And Quiet Your Limiting Voices with Aaron Anastasi Aug 09, 2016

Show notes

You know that voice in your head, that tells you just what you need to hear so that you shrink back, play small, succumb to fear. Yeah, you do?! Well, so does my guest on today's podcast.

Aaron Anastasi has quite the resume of accomplishments and experiences in his life:

He’s an artist and singer with an insanely popular Youtube channel that has over 11.5 million views and 130k subscribers
He’s a serial entrepreneur with a number of internationally recognized businesses, including the Superior Singing Method
He’s a success coach and author, recently publishing his new book, The Voice Of Your Dreams.
He has a master's from Princeton Theological Seminary, and is known to shred down mountains in Colorado and scale glaciers in Bolivia.

Aaron still has his inner voice, but it's whispering different things to him now.

In our conversation Aaron and I talk about limiting voices, shifting beliefs to shift results, abundance and the power of sexual intimacy for creativity.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

The difference between BEING and DOING
How to quiet your limiting inner voices
The single question that ignited a guttural brushfire within Aaron

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How To Set Yourself Up For A Massively Awesome Life - Honoree Corder Aug 03, 2016

Show notes

Yup, this is a very loaded title. But here's the thing: everything my guest talk about are pieces for a massively awesome life. The tools, practices, mindsets and beliefs she shares, when practiced regularly and with intention, will absolutely set you up for a massively awesome life. Honoree has chosen powerful mentors to help equip her tool belt for life's curveballs.

Read the episode notes for this one, there's a lot in there. If you haven't heard of people like Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins and Hal Elrod, then go check them out. Click the links or Google search them yourself, and see if their messages resonate. They've surely helped millions of people get out of their head and get into living!

So this episode is not about giving you a formula or template. Quite frankly I don't think they exist and I caution any person or source that claims to have the answer. But what Honoree does is give you incredibly powerful tools and beliefs that you can use and try on for yourself, to help you experience life in its full awesomeness!

Things you’ll learn in this episode:

What it means to be “mentally in debt”
Powerful questions to ask when you’re going through life’s stuff
Amazing morning/daily rituals to reduce stress, increase productivity and empower your day

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The 6 F's - HIA Framework Part 3 Jul 26, 2016

Show notes

This is part 3 in my series where I'm breaking down the meaning of A.L.L. - Abundant Loving Life, and where I'm sharing my framework for having it all. In the A.L.L. framework, I've chosen to focus on what I think are 6 key areas of life: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Finance, and Fun. Faith: belief in something bigger than you; believing in something you don't understand.

Not talking about religion specifically. You can have FAITH and not consider yourself religious. That's how I feel about myself.

Family: the people in your innermost circle.

Think of the symbol for Target (dot, circle, circle). The dot is family. Circle 1 is inner friends. Circle 2 is outer friends/acquaintances.
Not always blood.
Listen to my convo with Robert Monroe, and he'll shift how you think about family (Robert was orphaned at age 12, but knows he has a large, loving family, including multiple mothers and fathers)
Includes romantic partners as well (spouse, significant other)

Friends: the people who are in your inner circle. Your personal tribe.

There to support you; see the greatness in you.
Tell it like it is; tell the uncomfortable truth.
Have your back; will defend and stand up for you.
However else you define friends.

Fitness: your health.

Is your body in a state of DETOX or INTOX?
Are you treating your body with kindness?
Being mindful of what you put in your body: food, drink, information, environments, people/conversations
Your ability to heal (HEAL is the root of HEALTH)
LIFEstyle versus DIEt

Finance: your ability to generate what you need to live the life you want

Not talking about being wealthy, although that is the goal of many
Are you living within your means?
What is your relationship like to your finances?
For many years, and still to this day, my relationship to my personal finances has been up and down. At times I feel great about my finances, confident, in control, knowledgable, following a plan -- abundant. Other times I feel lost, without a plan, lacking knowledge -- scarce.
Your quality of life improves as your finances improve, to a point. At around $75,000 per year it rounds off, and then more money doesn't mean more peace, happiness or emotional health. It can actually go down.
It's not about how much you make or spend, it's about your relationship to it all.

Fun: your ability to let your inner kid out, laugh, let go, and enjoy life.

This is where I personally thrive!
Fun means different things to different people. YOU define what fun is for you.
Many of us are not regularly making time for fun. It happens only on the weekends, or maybe even only on vacations. Otherwise we're hustling and working and just surviving.
Plenty of studies out there to support the importance of FUN, so I won't get into that.
You can survive without fun, but I argue that you cannot THRIVE without it!

Measurements (Accountability) on the 6 F's Faith - 10 couple meditations/prayers Family - 15-20 family dinners, 10 family playtimes Friends - 4 couple outings Fitness - Regular weekly exercise, join a running group or fitness class. commit to doing a few small fitness things each day. Finance - Enrolilng in Financial Peace and going through the 7 Baby Steps Fun - 1 vacation out of country, 1 vacation in states

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"You Have To Move Your Feet": A Story About Seeing The Beauty In All Of Life's Circumstances with Robert Monroe Jul 19, 2016

Show notes

Today’s guest is a father to three daughters, a husband to a beautiful wife, friend to myself and so many others, and an economist by profession.

His name is Robert Monroe, and if you met him in person, the first thing you’d probably notice is his smile.

He’s got one of those ear to ear smiles that tends to come with a hearty laugh and come from a place of joy.

But behind the smile is a man who has been some incredibly trying times in his life. At a young age Robert was orphaned and learned some brutal lessons about life. But his smile never faded.

I’m incredibly honored to bring you this conversation with Robert, where we talk about life, family, parenthood, and much more.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

A powerful metaphor for viewing your life as a masterpiece
How to create momentum and velocity in your life
An inspiring definition of "family"

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your Relationships Are Killing You Jul 11, 2016

Show notes

I truly believe that your relationships are the most important factor to your health (and I'm not talking about relationships in the way you might be thinking).

This episode will get you thinking.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

The types of relationships that take away from your health
How to reframe “stress” so you regain your power
A simple process for relating more powerfully to any circumstance

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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