Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Little T vs. Big T Trauma: What They Are and Why They Matter to Your Mental Health and Recovery | Episode 239 Nov 20, 2023

Show notes

When most people think of trauma, they’re thinking of the trauma that comes to those who have survived hurricanes, sexual assault, war, etc. This type of trauma is what we refer to as big T trauma but this isn’t the only type of trauma. There is another kind of trauma known as little T trauma or relational trauma that happens over time, most often in the context of a relationship. This week’s episode 239 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about big T vs. little T trauma: what they are and why they matter to your mental health and recovery.

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the life experiences that brought on my own big T and little T trauma and how you might be holding onto trauma yourself, without even realizing it.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

The difference between big T and little T trauma and where they stem from.
Many people are in denial about their trauma because they don’t realize they have little T trauma.
How both kinds of trauma can manifest themselves in our feelings and actions when left unidentified and untreated.
The impact that underlying trauma has on a person’s ability to heal.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

ACES Quiz Questions

About ACES

Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families 12 Step Recovery Fellowship (ACA or ACOA)

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Why Self-Care is Not Selfish, It's Self-Preservation | Episode 238 Nov 13, 2023

Show notes

Many of us don't take good care of ourselves. We're completely drained, run ragged, and exhausted and yet, we still try to give to others. Instead of continually pouring from an empty cup, pour from the overflow. And the only way your cup is going to have overflow is if YOU fill it. This week’s episode 238 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why self-care is not selfish, it’s self-preservation!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of practicing self-care and doing things to promote your mental, physical, and spiritual health so that you can go into the world from a point of abundance, not lack.

You cannot expect other people or wait for other people to fill your cup, you have to do it yourself.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

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How Service in Recovery Leads to Our Own Personal Well-Being | Episode 237 Nov 06, 2023

Show notes

There’s a chapter in the ACA fellowship book called The Importance of Service in ACA that I refer to as the ‘stealth chapter.’ I say this because at face value it seems like it is going to be a light chapter but it is one of the heaviest and most relatable chapters in the book. For codependent people like me, service can be so tricky and that’s why I wanted to talk about my revelations from this chapter today. This week’s episode 237 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how service in recovery leads to our own personal well-being!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing what the ACA “Big Red Book” says about the importance of acting in service to others in recovery and my own experience from carrying on the message.

For me, when I am continually telling my story to newcomers, I cannot possibly forget who I am and how far I have come and I cannot forget the importance of my recovery program. Carrying the message on in service of others only strengthens my recovery.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

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How to Go from Hurting to Healing to Helping | Episode 236 Oct 30, 2023

Show notes

Free resources on emotional resilience

One of the things the ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) literature says is “We progress from hurting to healing to helping and we awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew possible.” I can attest, this has proven to be true in my own recovery experience. This week’s episode 236 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to go from hurting to healing to helping!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of working through the process of moving from hurting to healing to helping in that order so you can truly help others. That requires you to reflecting on your journey, process your feelings and experiences, then share what you’ve learned. Much like this structured process, all 12 steps of recovery exist for a reason and they are in the order they’re in for a reason. You don’t wan to move on without completing the step prior.

Nothing will keep you emotionally sober like carrying the message of recovery to another adult child. We can only get to that helping part after the healing part once we have a message of our own hope to share.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

One-on-one coaching (single session or 3-session package)

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Stop Trying to Win the Trauma Olympics By Comparing Your Trauma to Others | Episode 235 Oct 23, 2023

Show notes

Ep 194. How to Know If You’re an Adult Child – part 2: The Other Laundry List

Content Warning: This episode includes brief mentions of abuse and other experiences that can cause trauma.

We so easily compare ourselves to the people around us. While we can admit that comparison is not helpful, it can be especially harmful when we start comparing our trauma because it keeps us from healing. This week’s episode 235 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about trying to win the ‘Trauma Olympics’: stop comparing your trauma to others!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how downplaying your trauma OR putting yourself into a victim mentality by comparing your trauma to others (as better or worse) keeps you from healing and what you can do instead.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

Coming out of denial to see that I did have trauma - even if it didn’t look the same as the people around me.
The difference between “big T” trauma, and “little t” trauma.
Differentiating between PTS, PTSD, and CPTSD.
Participating in the ‘Trauma Olympics’ keeps us from healing and moving forward.

If you must make comparisons, compare yourself to the former you and look to see how far you’ve come.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 193. How to Know If You’re an Adult Child – part 1: The Laundry List

Ep 205. 24 Ways Adult Child Traits Show Up in The Workplace – Part 1

Ep 206. 24 Ways Adult Child Traits Show Up in The Workplace - Part 2

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My Random Recovery Ramblings from the Middle of the Night | Episode 234 Oct 16, 2023

Show notes

You Are a Badass at Making Money

I woke up in the middle of the night and felt compelled to record the thoughts that were running through my head. I wanted to do this to share with you the constant mindset shifts and revelations I have as a result of my recovery journey. This week’s episode 234 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my random recovery ramblings from the middle of the night!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! For early episode access and the bonus content I talked about in this episode, become a Podcast Patron!

Some of the ramblings I go over in this episode include:

Having difficulty seeing when you are wrong as a defense mechanism- even when someone points it out directly to you.
Finding comfort and healing in my teddy bear and doll collection and not caring what others may think of it.
Living into the miracles of the future, not the wreckage of the future.
The money I desire is already here, I just need to get it to me.
Abundance is everywhere and it’s expanding as we speak.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Adult Chair Podcast

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How to Resolve Irreconcilable Differences- Two Powerful Mind Shifts for Stronger Relationships | Episode 233 Oct 09, 2023

Show notes

Every relationship has some type of irreconcilable differences and you are never going to be able to change these things about your partner or turn them into a different kind of person. The way we negotiate how we’re going to handle these differences directly determines the quality of our relationships. This week’s episode 233 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about two tips for how to resolve irreconcilable differences in your relationships!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing two powerful mindset shifts that will help you develop stronger relationships and examples of how these concepts play out in real life scenarios. The two concepts I share in this episode are:

Let go of your expectations of others and meet your own needs.
Stop making things mean things that they don’t.

Most of us believe that it only takes one person to change a relationship. This is true, however, that person is you, not your partner!

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 131. Let go of your expectations of others and meet your own needs

Ep 59. Making Things Mean Things That They Don’t

The Gottman Institute

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What Ruminating and Catastrophizing Are and Two Tools for How to Stop | Episode 232 Oct 02, 2023

Show notes

I’ve come to realize through recovery that, even though I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person, I did a ton of ruminating about the past and catastrophizing about the future. This week’s episode 232 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about what ruminating and catastrophizing are and the tools to stop!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how I used to ruminate about the past and how I would also (& sometimes still do) catastrophize or live into the wreckage of the future. I also share how, through recovery, I have developed the consciousness to recognize when I am doing this and the tools I have learned to get myself out of this mindset.

The tools I share in this episode include:

Get into the present moment and 3 simple practices you can use to do so.
Be purposeful about your thoughts and 3 practices for that too.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

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Tools for How to Enjoy Your Vacation- MYOB and Zip It! | Episode 231 Sep 25, 2023

Show notes

I am reminded of the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?” I know for a fact that before I was in recovery, I wanted to be right. After recovery, my priorities have shifted drastically. This week’s episode 231 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about tools for how to enjoy your vacation!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing an incredible experience of finding out that my grandparent's old house has become a sober living home for women and their children. I also share examples from my recent vacation with my sweetheart where I avoided conflict by using the tools I learned in recovery of learning to mind my business and to zip it, as well as that I’m not responsible for my first thought, but I AM responsible for my second thought and for what comes out of my mouth!

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/

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