Football Cliches

Latest Episodes:

Mowbray vs Brotherton, goalkeepers worth 12 points & Keith Andrews in the building Sep 15, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Match of the Day intro scandal is concluded peacefully, football commentators' names in 14th-century bequeathals, the puzzling punditry quantification of goalkeepers' influence, Scott Parker goes a bit too deep about Burnley's low block, musical commentary from MLS, Keith Andrews' flourishing managerspeak and Richard Keys - yet again - on Manchester United's malaise.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

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Serbian statements, Ange's unfinished business & Cape Verde: the World Cup Blackpool Sep 10, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some niche observations from Serbia 0 England 5, welcoming Cape Verde's imminent World Cup qualification with open arms, the unfinishedness of Ange Postecoglou's business, football commentators’ names in Suffolk castles’ family fun days and a review of Mick McCarthy and Tony Pulis's new podcast

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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The MOTD intro scandal, Taxman FC & the most "cat amongst the pigeons" goal ever Sep 09, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: an unprecedented twist on the "knowledgeable crowd", a listener spots something in the Match of the Day intro, Michael Owen's semi-ironic new era, some exquisite football pedantry in the case of the FA vs Lucas Paqueta, a never-before-considered research project into Premier League draws, the most “cat amongst the pigeons” goal ever and which team is most strongly associated with a badge in the middle of their shirt.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

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The Football Cliches Quiz XXI: Libero Sep 04, 2025

Show notes

In another superb trivia clash, the 21st installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on Jonathan Wilson, Jack Pitt-Brooke and John Brewin from the Libero podcast.

The questions include: World Cup winners with the names of prime ministers, Premier League beanpoles, domestic cup-final losers, top-flight match balls, various football figures dubbed into European languages, some apparently obligatory questions about the 1930 World Cup, and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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Slot's embarrassment of riches, hyperliteral stadium noises & Zidane vs Dyche Sep 01, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Troy Deeney and Joel Ward mangle their punditry clichés, a highly appropriate sound is heard after Brighton score their winner against Man City, the New York Times' crossword shows football no respect, Jack Grealish takes the "great to se him enjoying his football again" crown, mid-game things players have "no right" to do and Keys & Gray get ultra-defensive about the return of the long throw to elite-level football.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Panenka-triggered goalkeepers & empty-net warm-up anxieties: The listeners' loves & hates Aug 28, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the players' disbelieving reactions to team-mates' wondergoals, goalkeepers who react furiously to Panenkas against them, the anxiety of shooting into an empty goal in a 5-a-side warm-up and a never-before-heard grievance about scoring penalty shootouts.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess Peter Crouch's "streets won't forget" 5-a-side lineup and wonder if some lamentable footballspeak in a political drama is not quite as it seems.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dyche goes dating, Dean Ashton's defensive doughnut & textbook piledrivers Aug 26, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Stockley Park canteen saga rumbles on, inexplicable TV cameos from Sean Dyche, the closest we’ve come to locating the end of Graham Potter’s tether, footballing events that are too big to be “sliding-doors moments”, an incredible deployment of “for my sins”, some glorious proverbial-cotton-wool confusion and Richard Keys christens Everton’s new home.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Champion flatulence, football punditry sat navs & Sean Dyche X Big Sam Aug 20, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Jon Champions lowers the commentary tone in the Champions League qualifiers, Sky Sports' on-screen butchering of the embryonic Premier League table, a classic football geography error in Sherlock & Co, a sat-nav voiced by a football pundit and the maximum number of footballing "times of asking".

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Sean Dyche's date with destiny: a long-awaited appearance on Sam Allardyce's podcast.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vertical highlights, Farage's footballspeak & Stockley Park's canteen crisis Aug 18, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Match of the Day's non-evolution, the opening-weekend Premier League verdicts on who to fear for/who'll be fine, the concept of “knocking on the door" of the opposition, a low-key early contender for "game’s gone" moment of the season, a finely-poised "watching football on holiday" dilemma, refereeing clampdowns down in Sunday league, Nigel Farage's unconvincing football campaign and Stockley Park's latest crisis.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://tickets.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

8.55 seconds in Wrexham, Celeste's Sky Sports flame is out & niche 2025-26 predictions Aug 13, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and the Robert Earnshaw of bedwetting.

Meanwhile, the panel run through some niche Premier League predictions for 2025-26, including the first 10 guests on Monday Night Football.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

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