Football Ramble

A BIG BLUE TURNAROUND! May 23, 2022

It’s blue ribbons and cowboy hats on today’s Ramble, as Man City claim another consecutive league title and Leeds stayed up by the skin of Wout Weghorst’s foot. Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to recap it all!

Liverpool put up an excellent fight and were left a point short, while Arsenal put on an end-of-year picnic for a job (somewhat) well done. Oh, and Man United lost - paging Erik ten Hag…

The Ramble will continue as normal for the next few weeks, as we get stuck into the Champions League final, playoffs and Nations League. See you tomorrow!

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The Preview Show: Will they let this slip? May 20, 2022

The final weekend of the Premier League is here! Marcus, Jim and Andy are here with a tasty lowdown on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Frank Lampard cemented his status in English football folklore after Everton’s dramatic escape last night, while Leeds survival hopes hang by a thread. At the top end, one man stands between Man City and another glorious title: Steven George Gerrard.

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After Gareth steps down… Pardew? May 19, 2022

Marcus, Luke and Pete recap a tough night for Rangers as their European adventure comes to a bitter end. STOP BRINGING PLAYERS ON FOR PENALTIES!

We also turn our attentions to two former men of this sleazy parish, as José Mourinho fires up the Roma faithful and Alan Pardew joins us from his Sofia bungalow. Single bed, thankfully.

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Get me to the Redmond May 18, 2022

Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to look ahead to the climax of a cracking title race, as Liverpool’s charge was almost derailed by Pep’s sleeper agent, Nathan Redmond.

We also bring you a Wagatha Christie update, as Wayne Rooney remains as clueless as us, while Nottingham Forest are one game away from history!

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Order of the Bruce Empire May 17, 2022

St James’ Park erupted last night and, inevitably, Arsenal were caught choking in the Geordie volcano’s noxious fumes. Bring out the lasagnes!

Marcus, Pete and Jim look back on a disastrous night for the Gunners in their Champions League chase, while Huddersfield battled their way to Wembley. All of which was eclipsed, of course, by Matt Le Tissier, Rickie Lambert and Wayne Rooney’s search for the truth.

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Left foot, right foot, hesitating May 16, 2022

As Liverpool two-step to another trophy in the Wembley sunshine, Ryan Gosling’s goals for West Ham put a spanner in City’s title works. Tense times as the season draws to a close!

Jules, Vish and Andy are here to recap all that, guide Jesse Marsch to full riproarin’ cowboy mode, and celebrate more Christian Eriksen brilliance.

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The Preview Show: Does that make me a gammon? May 13, 2022

Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to pick through the good, the bad and the Rob Holding of last night’s North London Derby. Their two-horse race might be the league’s last interesting one, especially if the Seagulls nab Jesse Marsch’s chips on Sunday.

We also look ahead to Carabao Cup II: And This Time It’s Personal - and it’s the start of the Championship play-offs! Plenty to get through on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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You don’t win friends with salad May 12, 2022

Kate, Andy and Vish are here to watch the jeopardy seep out from both ends of the league table, as Man City tighten their title grip and Leeds shoot themselves in each other’s feet yet again.

Elsewhere, Watford remind Forest Green that sour grapes are indeed vegan and - drumroll - we look ahead to the North London Derby! All from the comfort of Kate’s lonely living room.

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Careful, them ghosts are real May 11, 2022

Careful, them ghosts are real

Liverpool kept their title hopes alive, but Man City have already taken a huge step towards next season’s crown by picking up Area 51’s Erling Haaland in Vincent Kompany’s disused ambulance. Yikes.

Jules, Andy and Pete round-up the action from Villa Park and plenty more big stories, as day one of Wagatha Christie brings some startling revelations and there are accusations that Marcelo got the boot at Lyon for farting too much. Plus, make sure you stick around for Pete's interpretation of Jonathan Woodgate's first LSD experience.

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Which manager could Pete batter? May 10, 2022

Alex Neil? Roy Hodgson? A backtracking Jurgen Klopp? Difficult to say, really - but we’re here to find out!

Pete’s joined by Kate and Luke to wave Sunderland through to the League One play-off final and hear Mark Clattenburg’s footballing masterplan. Speaking of masterplans: we’ve got a Michael Owen NFT update! Tremendous, by the way.

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That’s a paddlin’ May 09, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to rightfully scold Tottenham after they dared to execute a succinct game plan against our brave Merseyside title chasers. Some mild scorn is reserved for Watford, whose grim season comes to an inevitable end.

Elsewhere, Vish documents his stint in purgatory as Man United sink to a seemingly new low, while Peter Shilton reminds us all he’s indeed had the last laugh.

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The Preview Show: My Giddy Ally McCoist May 06, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Jim have the keys to your weekend on another edition of the Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We recap last night’s action, as David Moyes booted West Ham’s European hopes into space and the Rangers surge continues. We also look ahead to another weekend of relegation quicksand and that tasty two-way title tilt. Join us!

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That's what football do to ya May 05, 2022

Man City and Real Madrid settled into their familiar roles last night, as Don Carlo's men refused to lay down and Man City were victims of yet more spectacular circumstances. Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to revel in the morning after the night before!

Elsewhere, Roy the Boy reminds everyone of the real quiz after being awarded a CBE and Maradona's famous shirt collects a chunky sum at auction. Penny for Terry Butcher's thoughts?

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Cricket! May 04, 2022

Villarreal lit the touch paper in spectacular fashion last night, only for Liverpool to douse it just as decisively. Ah, Europe.

Kate, Vish and Andy paint the quadruple bus ahead of the seemingly inevitable, before picking through the wreckage of a ruined relationship in Pep Talks. There’s also chat of a final four Champions League format and Carlo Ancelotti eyes up the Canada job!

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Charlie Kane’s hot girl summer May 03, 2022

Kate, Luke and Pete check in with last night’s performance of Now That’s What I Call Man United, as Ronnie et al reminded us of times gone by.

We also celebrate the return of Bury FC, marvel at more Mitro destruction and look ahead to more disgraceful nonsense from Villarreal.

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Le football avec le Rosbifs May 02, 2022

The secret to Everton's potentially spectacular survival? Jordan Pickford's massive bonce - you heard it here first.

Jules, Jim and Pete catch up with another chaotic weekend as inevitable relegation claims Norwich and approaches Watford, despite Roy the Boy's rascal sunglasses. We also check in with King Carlo's title parade, find Pep under some palm trees and celebrate the greatest slide tackle ever seen.

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The Preview Show: Give it back to Ole, ffs Apr 29, 2022

Some midweek continental capers were rounded off with the Europa & Conference Leagues last night, with British sides struggling across the board. At least we saw the opening night of the John Mossy Moss Farewell Tour up at the King Power.

Marcus, Andy and Jim also look ahead to the weekend's Barclays banter, as Eddie Howe's inspiring man-management might halt Liverpool's title tilt and Norwich could be relegated if Burnley's surge continues. All on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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It’s alright, Des will sort it Apr 28, 2022

We've just about recovered from Villarreal's disgraceful showing to get in for another Euro Ramble round-up. Imagine coming to Anfield and trying to keep it tight! PATHETIC.

Kate, Andy and Luke also look into Antonio Rudiger's confirmed departure from Chelsea, while Roy Keane casts admiring glances north of the border. There's also the small matter of the biggest game in West Ham's modern history and more Missouri brawls!

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Drink Champions League, relax Apr 27, 2022

Man City’s clash with Real Madrid had it all: incredible goals, terrible defending, an outrageous panenka and multiple Pep meltdowns. Bring on next week!

Marcus, Jim and Pete relive it all and wonder who will take the spoils in Madrid. Elsewhere last night, Nottingham Forest set up a tasty shootout with Bournemouth in the Championship and Paul Pogba's only gone and left the Manchester United WhatsApp group. Plus, something about Fizzer and Sven before Marcus loses his mind.

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#NotAllTeams Apr 26, 2022

Kate and Vish are joined by a tanned Jim Campbell for a look into the rumoured departure of comfort’s number one enemy, Antonio Conte. Punch glass for Poch!

Elsewhere, Leeds snagged a much-needed point last night ahead of a tricky few weeks, especially since Everton now have access to the Big Man upstairs, and Tracey Crouch’s fan-led review gets a definitely legitimate endorsement from the UK government.

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Michael Owen’s dossier of shame Apr 25, 2022

Jules, Luke and Pete are here to survey the respective car-crashes that were Man United’s trip to the Emirates and Jules’ Saturday night appearance on Pointless!

We kick off with the Merseyside derby as Everton sink deeper into the quagmire while Burnley and Mike Jackson moonwalk all over it. Elsewhere, Paul Scholes lands Jesse Lingard in bother, Jorginho takes one of the worst penalties in Premier League history, and things take a turn on Planet Mark McGhee!

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The Preview Show: Movin' Too Pards Apr 22, 2022

Everton need to calm their nerves after Burnley took a scary step closer last night - a Merseyside derby at Anfield will be just the tonic.

Kate, Andy and Vish look ahead to a weekend of derbies across the land, as Chelsea take on West Ham and Man Utd will no doubt puncture any joy from the Erik ten Hag announcement by captiluating at Arsenal. All of that and loads more on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Nketiah Freak On Apr 21, 2022

Kate, Andy and Luke recap more midweek Barclays, with Thomas Tuchel furious at his own pitch and an Angry Almiron smashing one top bins - just in time for a transfer!

Also, would you like to hear from managers at half-time? Soon you may be able to - though we realise Dundee boss Mark McGhee is probably not the man to ask.

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Well, that was bad Apr 20, 2022

If you're Manchester United, dragging off Phil Jones at half-time and letting Thiago stroll around like he's on holiday, it's not looking good. Best of luck, Erik ten Hag!

Jules, Vish and Lars look over United's capitulation at Anfield and celebrate Fulham's inevitable promotion. Lars also gives us his thoughts on the Erling Haaland rumours and how he might fit in at Manchester City.

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Rise up, ball boys Apr 19, 2022

Kate, Pete and Vish recap a chaotic afternoon in the EFL which saw Derby County finally relegated from the Championship. We give deserved props to Wayne Rooney and the squad, before asking where the club goes from here.

We also inadvertently start a ball boy revolution, celebrate some good times at St James’ Park and decide every goal is indeed a hit and hope.

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Marcus’ Teeny Tiny Feelings Apr 18, 2022

What a weekend of cup football! Man City laid out the red carpet for Liverpool to moonwalk all over, while Kai Havertz escaped Wembley prison rules with his own ticket to the final.

Elsewhere, hands across Glasgow and Edinburgh served up two cracking Scottish cup semis, while the battle for the Premier League top four takes another bizarre turn.

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The Preview Show: The Speller Swamp Apr 15, 2022

West Ham gave Brassell’s Lyon a battering last night! And Stanley Tucci couldn’t do a thing about it.

Marcus, Luke and Andy discuss a bustling night of European football on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! The Ferryman’s European tour continues and Rangers almost manage - in the words of the great Terry Brown - to stab themselves in the foot.

Elsewhere, a huge weekend beckons for Crystal Palace and we react to the day’s big news: Sean Dyche is gone!

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A European Royal Ramble Apr 14, 2022

A message to all commentators who solemnly declare fans don’t like to see scraps on a football pitch: we absolutely do like to see it.

Kate, Vish and Andy are ringside for City’s rope-a-dope, as we ask why Atlético continually insist on playing the shithouse hits. We also tip the hat to an entertaining one at Anfield, hear from Granit Xhaka about his relationship with Arsenal fans and look ahead to this week’s true title fight: José Mourinho vs Bodø/Glimt.

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Rooting for Darth Vader Apr 13, 2022

Hard luck, Chelsea fans - King Carlo and the old guard were back for one last grift. Rio Ferdinand's certain it was illegal.

Marcus, Vish and Pete are here after a vintage European evening, as Bayern became the latest high-profile victim of The Unai Emery Experience. We also offer Pep Talks advice to a listener ahead of an outrageous job interview and catch up with some elite managerial shithousery in Spain.

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Phil Neville on a hoverbike Apr 12, 2022

Marcus, Luke and Lars check in with the Conte Revolution at Tottenham and look over Luton’s incredible rise as they push for a historic promotion.

Elsewhere, Nasser Al-Khelaifi wants Childish Gambino at BATE Borisov while Thomas Tuchel thinks tonight’s Champions League tie is dead - for now. Ominous stuff!

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Just get him a phone Apr 11, 2022

Man City vs Liverpool was billed as the best clash of the season – and, blimey, for once it actually was!

Jules, Pete and Lars are your chaotic trio for a gloriously chaotic weekend in the Premier League, as Pep channels all his pent up energy into a handshake with Jurgen Klopp and Antonio Conte channels it into some absolutely chilling post-match analysis. Plus, Jules distances herself from some phone-smashing and Pete shares his hatred for Hertha Berlin.

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The Preview Show: A goal from Thor Apr 08, 2022

We're all fuelled up on Europa juice as we take a look back at a bumper night of European action on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway.

Marcus, Pete and Andy reflect on a frustrating night for West Ham and rejoice at Dimitri Payet who may well have just scored the greatest goal of all time. Domestically we look ahead to a HUGE fixture in this season’s edition of the Barclays as Man City take on Liverpool, which will definitely decide the title. Maybe.

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And I eat crayons Apr 07, 2022

Everton were dragged deeper into the mire last night as Sean Dyche’s band of merry men figured out how to kick the ball in the net just in time.

Kate, Andy and Home Alone villain Pete Donaldson react to a dramatic night everywhere you looked, as Karim Benzema extended his Luxury Memory Foam Cushioned Header range to whip Chelsea and Aleksandar Mitrovic claimed another victim to put Fulham closer to the Premier League. And someone else is getting closer to the Prem as well: Shteve, welcome home.

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Give an Ince, take a mile Apr 06, 2022

Liverpool and Man City got off to a dream start last night, despite Diego Simeone’s best efforts to turn his tie into a feverish nightmare for everyone involved, including his own players. Marcus, Andy and Luke feast over those games in an intriguing night of Champions League football!

Elsewhere, unlikely best-man-for-the-job Paul Ince continues to rescue Reading, while there’s huge news for Derby County. And everyone’s favourite University of Life uncle at a wedding Sean Dyche prepares to do battle with the already weary groom, Frank Lampard.

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The Big Bird Bandits Apr 05, 2022

Kate and Jim are joined by Lars Sivertsen to look over a cracking night for Big Pat and Crystal Palace, as they dispatched Arsenal under the lights.

Elsewhere, Lars brings tales of pitchside heroics from Bodø/Glimt and we hear the terrifying tale of the Big Bird Bandits. There's also time for team news ahead of tonight's Champions League ties, as Pep says he'll play with 12 and Jack Grealish signs a loan deal at Gucci!

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Let's be Frank Apr 04, 2022

Jules, Luke and Jim feast on a ten-course Barclays banquet, as a brilliant Brentford swept Chelsea aside and Eddie Howe's 'no fear, no idea' management style came home to roost.

We also get a postmortem from Steve Bruce after the worst game he's ever seen and ask what will come first: a start for Marcus Rashford or relegation for Frank Lampard?

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The Preview Show: Goth Hodgson Apr 01, 2022

After a brief trip over to Speller International Island, we’re welcoming the return of the Premier League on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Kate, Jim and Andy look ahead to a potential title twist – that's if Goth Hodgson fails to drag Liverpool down into the darkness in the weekend’s opener. We also ask how to improve Dele Alli’s fortunes, wonder if Leicester can fade upwards and catch up with Steven Taylor’s Gulf United.

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Jabulani memories Mar 31, 2022

The final pieces of the World Cup puzzle are coming together this week, so Marcus, Andy and Luke settle in with some updates.

Mexico and USA punched their tickets last night, while we saw the unveiling of the tournament's Pocket Rocket 5000 matchball and more ludicrous dismissals of human rights abuses in Qatar. Back home, Joe Hart's opened up about Nuno giving him a pasting and five subs come riding over the hill!

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Mad Serge strikes again Mar 30, 2022

England cantered past Ivory Coast thanks to a vintage Serge Aurier display, in spite of the Boo Boys at Wembley who gave Harry Maguire a hard time.

Jules, Luke and Jim discuss the England team’s reaction to Harry Maguire’s treatment and get stuck into some huge World Cup qualifiers across Europe and Africa, as Cristiano Ronaldo squeezes through the net while Mo Salah misses out. Still, at least he got to record a cover of Waiting For Tonight.

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Inflatable unicorn NFTs Mar 29, 2022

Ahead of a delicious smorgasbord of World Cup qualifiers, Kate, Vish and Pete are here to tell you everything you need to know – and quite a lot of stuff you don’t, to be honest.

They speculate on Wilf Zaha’s celebration plan, Marcus Rashford’s career plan, and all plans go out of the window as Pete returns to the dials for Portmantonio Conte! Plus, Ronaldo becomes music conductor and the entire Nigerian population ready themselves for a huge Jollof Derby.

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Can I have some viennetta with that massage, please Mar 28, 2022

England threw it back to Euro 2020 all over again: coming back from 1-0 down thanks to a late soft penalty at Wembley. In Gareth we trust.

Marcus, Vish and Pete tuck into a buffet of International football, as Greg Rusedski is faced with a dilemma after Canada seal their spot while Mumcini gets stuck into Roberto Mancini in the wake of her son’s exit from the race for qualification.

There’s also the latest edition of our ‘Donaldson Investigates’ series and after RB Leipzig player Ilaix Moriba’s antics, we ask: what food would you like to be fed on a massage table?

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The Preview Show: A seagull took my calzone Mar 25, 2022

Well what a night of international football! Roberto Mancini and his gloved posse have missed out on the World Cup. But fear not – weathered England supporters Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to give Italy fans a lesson in the lost art of clutching at straws.

We also celebrate a special night for Wales and the parasitic insect himself Gareth Bale, as he rolled back the years with a sensational brace. Plus, there are problems for Gareth Southgate’s gang and we salute Jermain Defoe as he finally bows out. All on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Throwing a fridge at Alan Pardew Mar 24, 2022

Fernando Santos is making a fool of himself, Zlatan’s being really humble and Gareth Bale’s back to match fitness – you know what all that means. International football is back, baby!

Kate, Andy and Jim convene to discuss Portugal and Italy’s chances of progress and a huge night for Wales. Plus, King Kazu is a bald fraud and John Carver has a strange story to tell.

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Neil Warnock vs B-Rabbit Mar 23, 2022

As the Chelsea takeover gathers apace Marcus, Andy and Vish discuss the latest and how fans are finally finding their voice on their club’s future. Sadly, Batesy still isn’t in there.

Elsewhere, Neil Warnock spits some bars about Mike Dean, Arsène Wenger prepares his hop from one gravy train to another and there’s a very questionable dilemma in this week’s Pep Talks.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Off he pops Mar 22, 2022

After twenty-two years in showbusiness, Mike Dean has announced he's stepping down at the end of the season. Get your bedazzled whistles out, the Farewell Tour's coming to a town near you.

Kate, Luke and Jim celebrate Daft Deano's amazing career before assessing Manchester United's hunt for the shiniest paper to cover the club's cracks. One person they won't be able to snag is Phil Brown, who has climbed aboard Barrow's own rapidly sinking ship.

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Corinthian Too Casuals Mar 21, 2022

The quadruple is still on for Liverpool after they survived a stern test at a bouncing City Ground last night. There goes Diogo Jota again, must remember to thank him.

Marcus and Jim are joined by Lars Sivertsen for a jam-packed Ramble, as Crystal Palace moonwalked through Everton while Chelsea and City also booked their semi-final tickets. There's also more bonkers Barclays, as Wolves shot themselves in all four paws and Spurs got a vital win against West Ham!

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The Preview Show: Stupid Sexy Jesse Mar 18, 2022

The football gods threw us many a bone last night, as West Ham dethroned the Europa League kings, Everton rescued a vital win and Barça kicked off the Spotify era in style. And now, Ed Sheeran!

Marcus, Vish and Jim also look ahead to the FA Cup quarter-finals where Nottingham Forest and Middlesbrough again shoot for cupset stardom. All that and loads more on a jam-packed Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Running? But we're footballers. Mar 17, 2022

Kate, Luke and Andy get stuck into a cross-continent football feast on today's Ramble, as spirited performances from Arsenal and Lille left them with sod all respectively.

Liverpool and Chelsea thus take the rightful plaudits, while Spurs maintained their consistent inconsistency with a south coast scalp. We also give Juventus a deserved kicking and hear of some fantastical Gaelic football exploits in our email section.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Alas, there will be no silverware Mar 16, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Andy react to another Champions League Groundhog Day, as Man United stuttered to a halt and Atlético looked like their former dastardly selves.

We also start assembling our “Streets Won’t Forget” XI, with Adel Taarabt and tactical wizard Steve Bruce both a shoe-in. Elsewhere, Benfica hope to shake off The Curse and Pep Talks brings us the results of our recent parenting advice. It’s not great…

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He’s still angry with me Mar 15, 2022

Pep Guardiola went about his usual policy of making friends (Crystal Palace's Vicente Guaita) and alienating people (Kyle Walker) after City's draw with peppy Palace. Don't worry, he is so so happy.

Kate, Luke and Jim look over last night's result and Crystal Palace's impressive season as a whole. We also wonder about the future of football ownership as Eddie Howe and some Chelsea fans have a lot to answer for in the wake of football's money obsession.

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A big bath of chips Mar 14, 2022

Jules, Jim and Vish look back over a Barclays Sunday Funday as we hone in on a vintage season finale at both ends.

Arsenal showed their defensive steeliness - even if Vish thinks it’s a bit lame - while Cristiano Ronaldo rolled back the years at the other end. Elsewhere, Everton slip further into the mire, Brentford scrabble away and we search for the league’s most handsome squad.

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Help I Sexted the Football Ramble Mar 13, 2022

Join us for a very special episode ahead of Red Nose Day, as Kate and Jim are joined by presenter Jordan North and etiquette expert William Hanson from the cracking podcast, Help I Sexted My Boss!

As part of this Acast Podcast Mashup, we get together to discuss a subject well outside of William's comfort zone: football. We search for William's inner fan after a lifetime of both intention and unintentional ignorance, and answer his questions about how to behave on the terraces. Jordan also talks us through his fanatical support of his beloved Burnley and recalls some bizarre tales from Turf Moor. It's all in aid of an amazing cause, so get involved!

You have the power to do something incredible this Red Nose Day. Whether it’s a little or a lot, the money you donate will help tackle poverty, take action against violence and bring an end to discrimination. Give now at comicrelief.com/podcastmashup, alternatively Text PODCAST to 70210 to give £10 today.

To donate £10 text the word PODCAST to 70210. Texts cost your donation amount plus your standard network message charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill-payer’s permission. For full terms and conditions visit: comicrelief.com/podcastmashup

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The Preview Show: None of this football makes any sense Mar 11, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Andy take stock of just how warped football has become as Chelsea brushed aside Norwich with numerous sanctions looming over Roman Abramovich.

After a European round-up, we look ahead to a whole host of Premier League crackers as Antonio Conte sets himself up for the inevitable fall and Thomas Frank eyes up a backpacking holiday. All on a jam-packed Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The house always wins Mar 10, 2022

Remember PSG, you can throw endless Qatari money at some of the world’s best players, take the reigns from Leonardo because he’s a fool and win the first leg - but the house always wins.

Join Marcus, Jim and Andy as we recap a Champions League night equal parts dazzling (Karim Benzema) and dull (Man City). We also get the cocktails out on Gareth’s Barge and discover that Eddie Howe’s yet to finalise his Geordie passport.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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You'll Never Walk Around Mar 09, 2022

Job done for Liverpool after a stuttering last 16 display, as Virgil van Dijk suffered his first Anfield defeat since 2018's loss at the hands of Alan Pardew. He'll have that on the CV, no doubt.

Jules, Vish and Pete look back over goals galore in other matches across Europe, as Messrs Lewandowski and Mitrović battle to be crowned Europe's best striker. We also go searching for Chris Wilder's sausages and unveil the official Ramble Handsome Championships.

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Haha no but seriously Mar 08, 2022

At least Frank Lampard was there to watch Harry Kane nearly break his record last night! Haha no but seriously, Everton are genuinely in real trouble.

Kate, Jim and Pete pick through the Evertonian wreckage after Spurs’ demolition job, wave on Nottingham Forest’s cup charge and look over FIFA’s latest underwhelming response to the war in Ukraine.

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Big bangers! Mar 07, 2022

Manchester City mercilessly put Ralf Rangnick’s holiday camp to the sword, as Manchester United looked limp, bereft of ideas, and defensively shot. Or as Pep called it, ‘incredibly impressive’.

Marcus, Pete and Jim recap all of that, ask whether Arsenal should stay in red, and wonder if Phil Coutinho’s spiritual home really is the rainy midlands. Plus, penalty megamind Tim Krul is undone and there’s an overdue update from Britain’s oldest footballer! Dickie’s back!

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com. And go and visit Pete's new website: bigbangers.co.uk!

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The Preview Show: A Fistful of Vibes Mar 04, 2022

Join Marcus, Jim and Vish on our charge towards the weekend via another Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Norwich will hope the spirit of Delia can guide them to victory against Brentford, while Leeds' new sheriff Jesse Marsch comes riding into town with a sack full o' vibes. We also look ahead to the Manchester derby, as Harry Maguire trips over those cracks in the dressing room and Cristiano Ronaldo remains a prat.

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What next for Chelsea? Mar 03, 2022

Jules, Andy and Vish react to the seismic news that Roman Abramovich looks to sell Chelsea after nineteen years. We discuss some myopic reactions from various circles and ask where the club goes from here.

We also pick through last night's FA Cup, as a Romain Perraud worldy helped sink West Ham and Norwich soaked up even more Liverpool punches. Plus, Roy Keane loves horoscopes!

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Get this Vardy started Mar 02, 2022

Burnley's stuttering form was struck by a bolt from the blue last night. A shithousing pest of a bolt in the form of Jamie Vardy - Brendy's cavalry has arrived!

Marcus, Jim and Andy recap a host of last night's game, as Boro's cup strut continues and Jack Grealish reminded Pep he's still knocking about. We also offer our expertise to the Canadian Premier League and a bald ref headbutted a fan in Scotland. Obviously.

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You haven't seen Squid Game, have you? Mar 01, 2022

With FIFA and UEFA banning all Russian clubs and national teams, we wonder if this might prove a watershed moment for football. Or maybe they'll go back to being their sycophantic, self-absorbed selves. Maybe.

Kate, Vish and Pete pull on that thread and wonder what fußball extraordinaire Jesse Marsch can bring to Leeds United. In other contractual news, Gigi Buffon has extended his career *yet again* and former Bayern winger Mario Basler lost a bet and is now a manager. Standard.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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A tale of three goalkeepers Feb 28, 2022

Marcus, Jim and Pete look back over a tense Carabao Cup final where penalty specialist Kepa Arrizabalaga sent the 22nd and final spot-kick into the stratosphere. Wembley karma, perhaps?

Elsewhere, we bid farewell to Marcelo Bielsa and celebrate Christian Eriksen's return. We also discuss the vague, mealy-mouthed responses from various footballing organisations to the game's nefarious links with sports washing amidst Russia's invasion of Ukraine.

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The Preview Show: Sven heads to Pyongyang Feb 25, 2022

Marcus, Jim and Pete pack their bags for a globetrotting episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We've got Fizzer in Miami, McVish at a lively Ibrox and Sven-Göran Eriksson mixing it in North Korea. Yes, you read that correctly.

We also get stuck into some cracking scenes at Arsenal and look ahead to both the Carabao Cup final and another edition of The Scrap™️. Join us!

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Conor Gallagher's High Flying Eagles Feb 24, 2022

Yesterday reminded us we should enjoy Conor Gallagher's sumptuous touch and finish while we can. Before he returns to sit on the Chelsea bench, anyway.

Jules, Vish and Andy recap a whole host of midweek football as Liverpool smash Leeds to pieces and Antonio Conte eyes the door at Tottenham. Atlético Madrid also put up a good fight against Man United in the first leg of the Disaster Derby, even if Cristiano Ronaldo was 35 minutes behind each counterattack.

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Juventus 1-1 Half of Rochdale Feb 23, 2022

Last night's Champions League brought an air of inevitability about it, even if Juventus could only draw with Rochdale's twin city over in Spain.

Kate, Andy and Vish try to fit an expensive array of pieces into the Chelsea puzzle, offer advice on avoiding murderous neighbours and celebrate a historic moment for equal pay in US soccer.

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Aarhus! In the middle of our street Feb 22, 2022

Jack Wilshere's back in town, baby! Never mind the injuries, the age or the penchant for a cheeky dart behind some bins - reserve that man a spot on Gareth's Qatar Barge.

Speaking of second chances for football stalwarts: Paul Ince is back in management! Marcus, Luke and Pete celebrate the news and look ahead to some tasty ties in both the Championship and Champions League tonight.

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Goal - RODRIGO | Assist - EUNICE Feb 21, 2022

Biblical conditions threw up all kinds of curveballs this weekend, including a hatful of goals for Burnley and a crazy game at Elland Road. And at the eye of the storm? Geoff Shreeves' bum.

Kate, Jim and Pete revel in the Barclays aftermath as Man City slipped in the oil left by Charlie Kane's motorbike and Pete escaped from the West Ham home end after a 1-1 draw. Amidst the chaos, there was also time for more of the same from Everton and José Mourinho respectively.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The Preview Show: Beaten by a WiFi password Feb 18, 2022

Come for the defensive capitulations, stay for a Valentine’s Day meal with Claudio Ranieri - we’ve got all bases covered on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Kate, Luke and Andy recap some continental capers for Leicester and Rangers, before looking ahead to a nostalgia throwback of a Premier League weekend: more red cards for Arsenal and Elland Road warming up the cauldron of hate for Manchester United!

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Big Brendy Energy Feb 17, 2022

Kate, Andy and Jim settle in for another Champions League chinwag, as Liverpool kept an enthusiastic Inter at arm's length and Bayern nearly fell victim to a fizzy can of rasenball.

We also remind Brendan Rodgers he's got a game later, unpick some Bodø/Glimt traditions ahead of their trip to Parkhead and toast to the grim inevitability of UEFA's expansion into cryptocurrency.

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Sit down, drink water, relax Feb 16, 2022

Pep Guardiola can take his own advice after his plucky underdogs blew Sporting to smithereens over in Lisbon last night. Strange that they're still only the world's seventh best team, behind Al Ahly and Palmeiras.

Marcus, Pete and Vish work that one out before revelling in more Mbappé magic and Messi mishaps. We also check in with the salty side of Manchester after their win and officially open Nashville's new stadium.

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Duck, duck, duck, Bruce Feb 15, 2022

Plenty of chat to stick into that slither of a gap between the Premier League and European midweeks, as Proper Championship Man Steve Bruce got his West Brom rescue off and running at The Hawthorns. Well, they drew an offensively poor game 0-0, but alas.

Marcus, Vish and Luke also set up camp in the pocket of Big Ralf in his fight against most of Man United’s playing squad, while Fizzer’s had his whispery say from across the pond. We also look ahead to Pep’s latest Champions League charge and the Kylian Mbappé Derby - tasty!

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You’re a wizard, Graham Feb 14, 2022

There’s romance in the air up on Tyneside, as the Kieran Trippier love-in continues and King Kevin Keegan celebrates his 71st birthday. Oo-la-la.

Jules, Pete and Jim sort through the relegation fodder after impressive wins for Everton and Newcastle, while Spurs suffered another self-inflicted stumble - even Antonio Conte’s beautiful hair couldn’t save them. Oh, and Chelsea are world champions, which you definitely missed.

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The Preview Show: On Marcelo's Secret Service Feb 11, 2022

Leeds vs Everton this weekend means Marcus, Luke and Andy can reminisce about Spygate ahead of Lampard vs Bielsa. Any secret report into Everton's training sessions recently would probably just read "my word, they're shite."

Elsewhere, Arsenal and Wolves get down in the mud and Liverpool quietly go about their impressive regeneration. We also whether Palmeiras or Chelsea will be declared the Bestest Team Ever and look ahead to another tasty Premier League weekend - all on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Pep, Jack Grealish and Gary Kasparov walk into a bar Feb 10, 2022

More relegation movers and shakers across last night's Premier League dingdongs, as Palace continue to trust the process while they slide down the table and Brentford's Tweenies cling on. Who will make it out of The Scrap™ alive?

Kate, Vish and Andy also stick some plasters over Spurs' leaky midfield and praise both Leeds and Villa, whose night out featured the reckless abandon of someone without work for a few days.

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Go along, don’t punch anyone Feb 09, 2022

The midweek music stopped on another round of relegation musical chairs, with Newcastle safe for twelve hours at least after they dragged Frank's Everton in for a scrap.

The Premier League's return coincides with Jules Breach's, who joins Pete and Jim to look over Newcastle's epic win and a stern point for Burnley. We also wonder whether Watford can survive and hear about a listener's truly epic FA Cup voyage!

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A Tour of Buffets Feb 08, 2022

Our valiant bid to host the 2030 World Cup has been valiantly shut down, as the Corporate Buffet Tour called into its final stop. Euro 2028 here we come!

Marcus, Jim and Vish lay out the sandwiches for that one and toast the imminent managerial arrivals of Roy Keane and Neil Warnock - provided Barnsley can build the latter an airport. We also despair at some alarmingly good business from Newcastle…

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Don't Colback in anger Feb 07, 2022

Marcus, Jim and Pete catch their breath after a frenetic football weekend as Senegal claim their first AFCON trophy and Kidderminster Harriers almost pulled off the greatest FA Cup shock for a generation.

Elsewhere, Nottingham Forest swatted Leicester City aside thanks to seedless easy peeler Jack Colback, while Boreham Wood secured a cupset for the ages and Super Frank kicked off with a win!

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The Preview Show: New traditions Feb 04, 2022

Kate, Luke and Vish settle in for traditions old and new on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. From Meat Loaf's beloved Hartlepool off on an FA Cup jolly to fans continuing to punch horses, it's all here.

We also look ahead to a crucial relegation six-pointer as Roy the Boy heads to Burnley, brush past some ropey AFCON penalties and enjoy another instalment of Luke Moore’s Frightening Football Sentences.

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Roy The Mermaid Feb 03, 2022

We heard it from Roy himself: he caught Watford's elegant siren song as he sailed past and simply couldn't resist. Never mind about the tradition of ships catastrophically crashing into the rocks.

After Marcus, Luke and Andy hear from Roy, we ask Greg Rusedski who he'll support when England face Canada in the Qatar World Cup final. We also check in with the latest World Cup qualifiers, another AFCON semi-final win for Senegal and West Brom's Geordie lifeline.

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CONMELOLS Feb 02, 2022

Don't mourn the lack of Barclays, for the World Cup Qualifiers still provide that sweet stuff. Goals from Edinson Cavani and Luis Suárez? Bolivian pitches swimming underwater? Romario leading a young Ronaldo astray back in the 90s? Sign us up.

Marcus, Andy and Vish check in with all of that, wonder how West Ham can sustain a top-four challenge and get a Pep Talks update from listener McKain after his Concacaf-interrupted date last week!

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Is that... is that Jermain Defoe? Feb 01, 2022

A whole host of transfers arrived late in the box last night - turns out Frank Lampard is having an influence already.

Marcus, Jim and Pete round up the herd as Dele Alli and Donny van de Beek head to Merseyside, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang bids Arsenal farewell and Roberto Carlos joins a pub team. Even Aaron Ramsey and Jermaine Defoe get another roll of the dice!

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A memory foam bum Jan 31, 2022

Marcus, Jim and Pete look over the latest batch of AFCON drama, as The Mo Salah Experience swept Morocco aside and Burkina Faso continued their impressive recent form with another quarter-final win.

We also update you on the latest Deadline Day happenings as Liverpool sign Luis Díaz and Newcastle snap up everyone else, while Spurs can't tempt a bloke from the Isthmian League.

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The Preview Show: We’re skint, but not that skint Jan 28, 2022

A brief Barclays break means we get to tackle all the glorious chaos that the South American qualifiers regularly serve up. By tackle, we mean kick in the nads - much like Emerson Royal did last night, incidentally.

There is plenty of football for us to look ahead to as Marcus, Luke and Pete check up on both ends of the Championship and preview some tasty AFCON ties. We also get a seismic update on Scott McTominay's infamous Player of the Season award whilst under José's tutelage. Lighters at the ready. All of that on a jam-packed Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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How did your Everton job interview go? Jan 27, 2022

Despite Carlos Queiroz's miserly ways, Egypt lumber on in an AFCON beset with incidents and hot divorced dads, but not many goals.

Kate, Andy and Jim also hear from potential Everton manager Vitor Pereira as part of his bizarre charm offensive, while Aaron Ramsey needs a Turin rescue mission and Ousmane Dembele's agent dazzles us with his underhand shenanigans.

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To my Sevillas for my hundred dolla billas Jan 26, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Andy are answering the big questions on today's Ramble. Will Duván Zapata sign for Newcastle? What next for Anthony Martial? Should one of our listeners threaten the life of a colleague for free tickets to a match?

We also rattle through some quite unbelievable AFCON goals and celebrate the overdue returns of Roy Hodgson and Mario Balotelli - yes, Super Mario's back with the Azzurri.

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By fair means or owl Jan 25, 2022

Watford hit the ejector seat on yet another manager as Claudio Ranieri departs, leaving the club managerless for the 518th time this season. Did someone say Roy the Boy?

We also recap another night of the AFCON, as The Gambia's incredible journey continues while Comoros' heroics are marred by some horrid scenes.

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Shelvey Bassey - Big Spender Jan 24, 2022

Newcastle kicked off their lads holiday to the Middle East in the appropriate fashion, with a Jonjo free-kick snatching some perhaps undeserved points at Leeds.

Kate, Jim and Pete pore over more regulation struggles, as Josh Sargent bought some over-inflated sense of American optimism to Norwich while Watford struggled. We also check in with another Hakim Ziyech worldy and eat some of Pete's earwax. Yep.

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The Preview Show: Let’s have some results, ya wee dirties Jan 21, 2022

In the end, Liverpool and Diogo Jota leisurely strolled back to Wembley without interruption. At least a jet lagged Thomas Partey tried his best, though.

Marcus, Luke and Vish look back on last night and rub their hands over some crucial bottom half battles on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Big Dunc has already been making his feelings clear to his Everton players, while Norwich vs Watford roll their sleeves up for a truly chaotic game of football.

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Just another regular day of Barclays Jan 20, 2022

Nothing to see here! Just two injury-time goals from Steven Bergwijn sending both Kate Mason and the King Power into a tailspin.

Andy and Jim help Kate off the floor before piling through that amazing Spurs win and an oddly efficient performance from Man United. We also cross our Comorian fingers as the AFCON group stages draw to a close and the Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang saga rolls on.

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The Rosetta Stone of Football Podcasting Jan 19, 2022

Marcus, Vish and Andy are now looking for a membership to Sexy Graham Potter's colony of high-flying Seagulls. All assistance is welcome.

We look over their confident display against Chelsea and Fulham's continued destruction of the Championship. There's also a Ghanaian collapse at the AFCON and it's a fresh start for Fizzer Neville as Inter Miami kick off their pre-season with a spring clean.

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Heading in a tin foil hat Jan 18, 2022

For all the yellow ties and #HereWeGo nonsense, the January window does occasionally throw Ramble HQ a few bones. Today, it's potential high-profile returns for Diego Costa, Hatem Ben Arfa and Christian Eriksen - bosh!

Kate, Luke and Pete pick through the good, the bad (more Premier League postponements) and the ugly (Everton's latest plight) on today's Ramble. We also celebrate another Spurs trophy and hear more of Pete's wall-licking exploits.

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Farewell, Paellardyce Jan 17, 2022

There are certain things you need in a relegation scrap. Rafa Benitez is seemingly no longer one of them, but a Jack Harrison topknot looks an absolute must.

Jules, Jim and Pete rattle through the movers and shakers at both ends of the table, as City extended their dull lead at the top and the relegation vortex drags more people in. We also round up the latest from the AFCON and discuss some high profile derby delays.

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The Preview Show: Having Xhaka will be helpful Jan 14, 2022

Realising his team was under the pump, Granit Xhaka did the only thing he could do: get sent off for a reckless high boot and inspire Arsenal to new heights of camaraderie and team spirit. The man’s a revolutionary.

Kate, Luke and Andy discuss last night’s clash at Anfield and look ahead to the battle for North London on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Meanwhile, Neal Maupay preps for the panto and as Man City chase the title, Pep Guardiola must guard against complacency after receiving the best prize of all: Tim Sherwood’s stamp of approval.

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It's King Kazu's music Jan 13, 2022

We've always said that consummate professionals will continue to find work in the game. And so it proves: Chelsea have recalled Kenedy and King Kazu signs a new contract at the ripe old age of 54. Fifty-four!

Marcus, Pete and Jim celebrate the King's return and look over yesterday's matches, as Davíd Moyes continues to annoy everyone and Chelsea put one hand on some Carabao. Plus, some bizarre and heartwarming action at the AFCON!

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The Andy Carroll Weekly Worldy Bonus Jan 12, 2022

As Chris Wood hops from one sinking ship to another, Andy Carroll reminded Newcastle just what they've been missing: two absolutely ridiculous goals, both ruled out for offside.

Jules, Pete and Vish pick those out, look over an oddly slick Southampton win and enjoy some offbeat AFCON goalkeeping. We also try our hand at some tactical analysis of Italian naval warfare. Don't say we don't do anything for you.

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STANDARDS Jan 11, 2022

Much like Pete whenever we enter the studio, Man United fans held up a banner demanding improved standards from their ragtag bunch of jewels and jokers before their 1-0 cup win. Shame they used Eric Cantona and Roy Keane as examples, but alas.

Marcus, Luke and Jim look over that stuttering victory and round up a cagey day at AFCON. We also wonder how long Derby County can afford to stave off an impending Mike Ashley and celebrate the amazing work of Andrew Jennings.

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Are all underdogs confident? Jan 10, 2022

Kate, Jim and Vish are on hand with a thorough breakdown of a cracking weekend of FA Cup action, with some unexpected giant killings alongside the usual underwhelming business for Newcastle United. Sticking to traditions, and all that.

We also hear some pearls of lower league wisdom from Blackpool's Neil Critchley, Tanguy Ndombele compounds his Spurs problems and AFCON kicks off with a bang!

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The Preview Show: Another bald Jan 07, 2022

Marcus, Luke and Pete settle in for a bumper FA Cup Third Round Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We’ve got you covered with a comprehensive guide to celebrities from Swindon, nipple-baring fans, and 39-year-old Wes Hoolahan’s inevitable merry dance around Newcastle’s midfield.

Plus, Kieran Trippier signs for Kayak and an old nemesis gets in touch with some FA Cup reforms.

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We need an exorcist Jan 06, 2022

In a crushing blow to fans of last year’s Carabao Cup Finalists memorabilia, Chelsea planted one foot firmly in next month’s final courtesy of some extraordinary Spursiness.

Luke and Andy join Terry Hurlock Breach to look back on the action. We also check in with Man United, whose canteen cliques have somehow slipped into a full-scale coup, and ponder on Philippe Coutinho’s rumoured link-up with Stevie G.

Tweet us @Football Ramble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Oh Dear! What Can The Blatter Be? Jan 05, 2022

We thought the odd Instagram post apologising for missing a penalty or a sending off was far enough. Now, Romelu Lukaku has broken new bizarre ground with his heartfelt plea for forgiveness - all for speaking Italian nicely.

Kate, Jim and Andy mourn this latest nail in football's coffin ahead of a potentially dominant Chelsea performance against Antonio Conte's impressive Spurs. We also serve up a thorough breakdown of various German sausages and celebrate the return of The King*.

*his words, not ours.

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Wazza's Discount Derby Jan 04, 2022

Wolves were the latest to capitalise on more Man United malaise last night, with their understated win celebrated by an understated Bruno Lage. Kate, Pete and Jim wonder whether their lack of goals at both ends can sustain a Europa League chase.

Elsewhere Wayne Rooney might well be plotting the greatest of escapes, Pete's latest investigative journalism uncovers some deep state Andy Carroll theories and we discuss the latest bizarre batch of footballer retirement plans.

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No knighthood, despite my 47 goals in all competitions Jan 03, 2022

Despite another year without due mentions in the New Year Honours list, Marcus, Vish and Andy are here to kick off another year on the Football Ramble!

There's plenty of meaty stuff to get our chops around, including controversy at the Emirates and a ridiculously good game at the Bridge. Crucially though, we carve out ample time for John Terry's quest for a knighthood and cautiously light Newcastle's first emergency flare of the January window.

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Can I be honest, Joelinton? Dec 28, 2021

Despite idiotic questions from interviewers afterwards, Joelinton proved himself to be the heir to Roy Keane's throne as he dominated Man United's midfield. Odd it was for Newcastle, mind.

Marcus, Vish and Jim are back to find out how deep the Old Trafford rot might go and revel in some buoyant Newcastle support. We also look ahead to some midweek clashes as Brighton continue their quest for Vish's love while Norwich and Leicester desperately search for greener grass.

That's it for Rambles this week - thanks so much for your support this year. We'll be back to our full schedule next week!

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But can this slumpy team be trusted? Dec 27, 2021

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to chew over the latest round of Christmas crackers, with Southampton and Arsenal picking up impressive wins. But should we actually trust either team with them?

Elsewhere, Man City and Leicester played out a ridiculous game - even if Brendy should've put himself on the bench. Harry Kane also impressed against Patrick's Palace, especially after what we assume was a fairly awkward Christmas for the Kane family.

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The Best of the Football Ramble 2021 Dec 22, 2021

To round off the year, we're looking back on some of our favourite moments from this year's Football Ramble! We relive the trauma of the European Super League, revel in our Euros fairytale and celebrate the Hamilton Accies commentator and his wee jobby. We even find time for an extended visit to the North-East for plenty of Keggy, Brucey and takeover-related nonsense.

It’s been a turbulent year but we've had a great laugh making the show every day and hope you've had a cracking time listening in - thanks so much for your support throughout 2021.

Tweet us @Football Ramble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The Festive Football Ramble - Part 2 Dec 21, 2021

Much like the UK Government, we're back with another work Christmas party! Marcus, Kate, Vish and Jim settle in at Ramble HQ for more festive fun.

If you've ever wondered about how Kate ended up with an alpaca one Christmas or the delightful Sri Lankan flavours of Vish's Christmas lunch, then look no further. We also give Demba Barticulate another spin after yesterday's glowing reviews.

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The Festive Football Ramble - Part 1 Dec 20, 2021

Welcome to the first part of the Ramble Christmas jolly! Join Jules, Luke, Andy and Pete as they revel in festive cheer and pick their dream festive line-up for a football-themed Christmas. We also debut our festive game, Demba Barticulate - stupid jingle included.

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The Preview Show: Just give it Jonj Dec 17, 2021

Jonjo Shelvey's return to Liverpool reminded the Anfield faithful what they've been missing: 20-yard screamers, misplaced passes and a general lack of impetus. Sign me up!

Marcus, Andy and Jim browse another porous Newcastle performance and a spirited point from Rafa's cut and shut Everton. We also look ahead to the Nations League's glorious return and wonder just how English football continues amidst further cancellations - all on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway.

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The Fortress of Rob Holdingtude Dec 16, 2021

With a great win over West Ham last night, can we finally say it? The Emirates is... a fortress?

Marcus, Jim and Pete wrestle with that and check in the rest of last night's matches, featuring some worldy skills from James Ward-Prowse and Rúben Neves. We also celebrate Sergio Agüero's amazing career and pull on an alarming Aussie thread.

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The Apprentice has thwacked the Master Dec 15, 2021

As Arsenal's leadership group pass the captaincy parcel around at London Colney, we wonder who can take the bantle on now Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's been dismissed. Those Amazon cameras must be delighted!

Kate, Pete and Vish look over their troubles and check in with a despondent Marcelo Bielsa as the master was absolutely thwacked by the apprentice at the Etihad. There was also a Groundhog Away Day for Dean Smith and a perfect tribute to Diego Maradona by his heir apparent, Philippe Coutinho.

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Any excuse for a buffet Dec 14, 2021

Kate, Vish and Jim settle in for another Ramble after yesterday's botched Champions League draw highlighted what piss-poor pageantry we've come to accept from these bizarre events. At least Michael Owen explained it all clearly on BT Sport...

Elsewhere, we wonder how Dele Alli can revitalise his career ahead of a touted January move and ask just how long football can push its luck amidst skyrocketing Covid-19 cases.

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God Rest Ye Merry Pentlemen Dec 13, 2021

Throughout the festive period, it's important to carve out a bit of indulgent time for yourself. This weekend, pour yourself a fizzy lager and enjoy your team getting pumped 4-0 by laissez-faire Leicester - just what the Donaldson ordered.

Pete's joined by Luke and Jules after another chaotic weekend as Raheem Stirling joined the Hundred Club and Marcelo Bielsa liberated his passions at Stamford Bridge. We also update the Festive Football Naughty List, thanks to a tardy Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and some Major League Stripping from NYCFC boss Ronny Deila.

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The Preview Show: Live laugh love, okee Dec 10, 2021

The Foxes might not have been able to squeeze through the Europa League group stages last night, but at least a dog on Partizan’s pitch during their Europa Conference League game had a lovely old squeeze. Swings and roundabouts for the animal kingdom, eh?

Kate, Luke and Pete cast their eyes over last night’s action and Brendan Rodgers’ chapped lips on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We also preview the best of the weekend’s offerings and find out about the Brazilian signer named after Gary Lineker. Plus, it’s the clash you’ve all been waiting for: MOORE VS MASON!

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Hands on the hologram Dec 09, 2021

It was a landmark moment at Old Trafford last night, as Ralf Rangnick brought Tom Heaton on for his Man United debut 20 years after he first joined. That’s the stuff.

Marcus, Andy and Pete chew over the final chapter of the Champions League group stages, as Barcelona’s journey to a last eight Europa League defeat at the hands of David Moyes begins. Plus, Portmantonio Conte returns and Patrik Schick gets an unusual trophy…

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Killing the golden cash cow Dec 08, 2021

Some say the Champions League group stages are boring. We say look at Porto vs Atlético’s three red cards in ten minutes and try telling us that isn’t world class entertainment.

Jules, Andy and Jim drink in last night’s action as Man City get a surprise in Leipzig. We also look over the fan review recommendations that’s getting Premier League bosses all hot and bothered, Jules gets a valuable lesson in sayings, and there’s bad news for Lionel Messi’s hotel in Spain.

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No Iwobi, No Partey Dec 07, 2021

Arsenal went into Banter Club retrograde last night with a dismal display that helped Everton to a vital three points. Even some picky VAR offsides for Richarlison couldn't save them!

Kate, Vish and Jim pick through Arsenal's torrid turn and wonder if Farhad Moshiri can turn things around at Everton despite all evidence suggesting otherwise. We also call in the Keggycopter to help with some signage at St James' Park, look ahead to tonight's Champions League action and fear for Jude Bellingham after some punchy post-match comments.

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There's the banter Dec 06, 2021

Marcus and Vish are joined by the returning Luke Moore for another post-Barclays bash, as West Ham's latest vintage win left David Moyes a bit *too* happy for our liking.

Elsewhere, Edmund Howe delivered a timely Toon win against struggling Burnley and Ralf Rangick's tactical tinkering was enough to unshackle Fred. We also recap a purrfect win for Chelsea in the Women's FA Cup final and enjoy another Divock Origi cameo - it's jam-packed, so join us!

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The Preview Show: Right, said Fred Dec 03, 2021

Man United welcome in the Ralf Rangnick era with a chaotic win over Arsenal, with Fred epitomising the good, the bad and the batshit that Ralf must contend with. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Marcus, Andy and Jim look ahead to a bumper Barclays weekender on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. There are some huge matches down the bottom of the table, a cross-capital ding dong and the Scott Parker Derby to name a few. Elsewhere, Phil Neville's been telling us about how many friends he wants/needs - poor Fizzer.

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I’m as famous as Troy Deeney Dec 02, 2021

Fresh from catching some courtside NBA action with fellow celeb Troy Deeney, Andy joins Kate and Vish in the studio to look for Saúl Ñíguez. Even Thomas Tuchel doesn't know where he is, ffs.

We also recap a one-sided Merseyside derby and wonder what's next for Everton, retire Jack Grealish's Alice band and enjoy some elite outfield-player-in-net shenanigans in Turkey!

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The Entertainers are back Dec 01, 2021

It seems the Keggy hoodoo is still lurking around every corner at St James' Park, as Eddie Howe is still looking to capture that entertaining allure. Shots on goal: some. Shots in their own feet: several.

Marcus, Jim and Pete also look over Leeds' last gasp win against Crystal Palace, where Raphinha's stuttering penalty run-up was nearly ended by the final whistle. We also bring you an update on robotic offsides and answer some concerning tuxedo problems on this week's edition of Pep Talks!

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Stretching the Geordie blanket Nov 30, 2021

More bizarre football awards ceremonies last night, as Lionel Messi won the Ballon d'Or while Robert Lewandowski had to settle for the Whole Load of Goals prize dreamed up fifteen minutes beforehand.

Marcus, Pete and Vish bask in Lionel's reflected glory and wonder how Ralf Rangnick might get on at Manchester United after completing his move. We also look ahead to two huge Premier League matches, as Leeds search for a spark and Eddie Howe searches for a bigger blanket.

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Dyche Age Nov 29, 2021

Even the blizzards summoned by Łukasz Fabiański this weekend weren't enough to stop either a purring Manchester City from winning or Sean Dyche from putting a jacket on.

Kate, Jim and Lars round up a flurry of Premier League goodness as radio's Ralf Rangnick helped Man United get a point at Stamford Bridge and Graham Potter weathered some unusual booing. We also summarise the game's latest bout of shithousery, stretching from Norway to Uruguay.

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The Preview Show: I prefer to kill them all Nov 26, 2021

Like a rock hard Mitre to the face on a freezing Sunday morning, it’s safe to say Antonio Conte was struck by the size of the task he has at Tottenham after his men were downed by Mura last night. Marcus, Pete and Jim wonder just how many of his players he might run over when he sees them in training on Friday.

Elsewhere there's more European goodness, Manchester United look to be on the verge of a disturbingly wise managerial appointment and we finally get to the bottom of Newcastle’s poor form: biscuity food fights. All on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Do it for The Shamen Nov 25, 2021

Mauricio Pochettino slunk back to Paris with his tail between his legs last night after another fairytale clash with Man City, where Bernardo Silva served up the sauce and Kyle Walker was just really, really fast again.

Marcus, Andy and Jim chew over that and travel to Liverpool as well, where we hail Thiago and check in with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who’s sliding into Gareth’s DMs as we speak. Plus, we find out about the dastardly plans to extend half-time for ‘in-game entertainment’ – fingers on the pulse as ever!

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Jadon and Donny, together at last Nov 24, 2021

They've crawled through a river of shite, but Jadon Sancho and Donny van de Beek have finally reached Redemption. Michael Carrick, take an interim bow.

Pete, Andy and Vish recap last night's Champions League action, as Chelsea's production line delivered some delicious goods and Andy caught Barcelona's *thrilling* 0-0 with Benfica at the Camp Nou. We also make fleeting stops in France (for crowd trouble) and the Polish sixth tier (for 53 goals a game).

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Maybe the trophies are the friends we made along the way Nov 23, 2021

Club legends are ten a penny, nowadays. Whether it's Steve Bruce eyeing up the Manchester United job or Tony Hibbert joining a new club five years since his Everton retirement, you'll find them everywhere.

Marcus, Vish and Lars wonder where Man United go next as they shake off Ole Gunnar Solskjær's sickly sweet vibes - would Mauricio Pochettino make that train journey? Elsewhere, Messrs Southgate and Hibbert put pen to paper and the Champions League returns!

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Now That's What I Call Manchester United! Nov 22, 2021

Well, the inevitable axe has finally fallen: Ole Gunnar Solskjær has been sacked by Manchester United.

Jules, Jim and Pete pore over the dismal performance that broke the panel's back and wonder what's next for the rudderless Reds. We also blast through a load of other amazing results from the weekend, with new managers stirring up the relegation battle and the top three flexing their enormous, financially-enhanced muscles. Join us!

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The Preview Show: I'm sorry, Graeme Nov 19, 2021

Rejoice, for the stars have aligned and brought us three managerial debuts for this weekend's edition of the Barclays! Dean Smith even cut short his espionage mission to New York.

Marcus, Andy and Jim look into their respective matches before checking in with the other end of the table, as in-form Arsenal are the latest sacrificial lamb on the Anfield alter and Brother Brendy's been offended by some trumours. All of that to enjoy on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Does Fabian Delph spark joy? Nov 18, 2021

Kate, Jim and Pete are here with the answers to some of the game's biggest questions: is Zinedine Zidane warming to the prospect of Man United? Are Newcastle victims of a vicious Premier League cartel? How many miles will Dani Alves run in every Barcelona game he starts?

We also revel in some truly obscene scenes from last night's FA Cup first round and hear of more financial struggles in the EFL, with Reading the next club to be handed a points deduction.

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Roberto Martínez: Stylish Mover Nov 17, 2021

Roberto Martínez nearly pulled out some of those saucy moves in that electric Cardiff atmosphere last night, with Beefy Moore's equaliser enough to get Wales a seeded play-off spot.

We get into that, before Marcus and Luke console Lars Sivertsen after Norway's disciplined display bore no fruit against Louis van Gaal and the Deathstar. We also check in with the sorry situation at Derby County and get a *crucial* Inter Miami update, as financial fiddling gives way to Neville nepotism.

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44 buttocks chase a ball around and eventually Che Adams scores Nov 16, 2021

England's marching band stuck ten past San Marino in the final round of Now That's What I Call Competitive, meaning they can turn their attention to the dark cloud coming over the hill.

Kate, Luke and Pete give that a once-over, remind everyone that Scotland invented the passing game after their Danish delight and see Northern Ireland throw the cat among the piccione. We also delve into the ongoing issues around Qatar 2022 and what can be expected of the players and federations heading their next year.

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The Serbian Darren Anderton Nov 15, 2021

Fresh off his latest round of Ibra Watch, Lars Sivertsen joins Jules and Andy at Ramble HQ for a blast through a hefty weekend of international football.

Aleksandar Mitrović and co dented Portugal's World Cup hopes with some last gasp magic, while Harry Maguire drowned out the #haters at Wembley. We also wonder if Dean Smith can save Norwich, remind Scotland they're decent and bring some non-league nonsense to the table!

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Patreon special: The Teams of Our Lives, Leicester 2015/16 Nov 14, 2021

We're here with a special bonus episode, plucked from the Ramble Patreon feed! Today, we’re bringing you an episode of The Teams of Our Lives, a weekly show where Marcus and Andy look back on what made their favourite teams history-makers.

This week, it’s a no-brainer. Come on down Uncle Claudio, we’re living Leicester 2015/16 all over again. Dilly ding dilly dong.

For more bonus content and ad-free episodes across the entire Football Ramble network, head to patreon.com/footballramble to sign up for as little as $5 a month!

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The Preview Show: Didn't even want a Belgium cap Nov 12, 2021

In the era of hyper professionalism, it's refreshing to see Radja Nainggolan determined to never play for Belgium again because he'd rather have a smoke. Ryan Fraser should've used that justification for dropping out of Scary Steve's Scotland squad.

Marcus, Luke and Vish look ahead to some crucial qualifiers as Scotland inspire some confidence, Wales plant some seeds and Harry Kane looks to shake off some poor form. All on today's international Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Captain Cash's Catalonian Kickabouts Nov 11, 2021

Imagine it: you're Matty Cash. You've just turned up to national team training for the first time - having learned the anthem on YouTube - to find Pep Guardiola scampering along the touchline. Rest up, Pep, honestly...

Jules, Jim and Andy check in with two Liverpool legends as they change jobs, as Steven Gerrard takes over Aston Villa and sporting director Michael Edwards will end his incredible tenure later this season. We also get first-hand dentist tales from Jules and dietary advice from England wonderboy Emile Smith-Rowe.

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Signing Jonjo's #cans Nov 10, 2021

The Papa John's Trophy served up some more lukewarm slices last night, with AFC Wimbledon eliminated and Newcastle United U21's battered at Mansfield. At least Jonjo Shelvey's been signing some local cans of lemonade, the good sport.

Jules, Andy and Pete pour some garlic butter over more football nonsense, with Steven Gerrard casting an eye southwards and Xavi putting the Catalan hammer down. We also put ourselves forward for Man United's new handyman job - bicycle not included.

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Do you referee tiddlywinks? Nov 09, 2021

Kate, Luke and Jim get stuck into the big questions right at the heart of the football discourse on today's show: did Arsène Wenger leave Arsenal too late? Did Callum Wilson think he was collecting Eddie Howe from the airport? Who's Stuart Attwell again?

We also wonder how Howe might fare on Tyneside after his appointment was confirmed, hear of some glorious Brazilian shithousery and celebrate Mikel Arteta's impressive centenary.

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The Preview Show: Howedi Arabia Nov 05, 2021

Antonio Conte's back! Eddie Howe's (almost) back! And Marcus is back! Get ready for a Friday feast.

Vish and Jim join Marcus to hail the return of John Wick to the Premier League, get the latest puns from Tyneside, and check in on both Manchester clubs ahead of the big derby tomorrow. Ole Gunnar Solskjær and Donny van de Beek are apparently stuck somewhere on the fourth level of Inception.

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Two balls off the post Nov 04, 2021

Liverpool cantered to another victory over a pretty cantankerous Atlético Madrid last night thanks to some icy refereeing. That doesn’t sound like our Diego.

Kate, Andy and Pete review last night’s Champions League happenings, before turning to important matters like Bournemouth player Ben Pearson’s skincare routine and one of the most outrageous takes we’ve ever heard from Djibril Cissé. Join us!

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All or Nothing or Something or Everything Nov 03, 2021

Watching Man United's trademark comebacks is like flying on a budget airline to a stag do - more disorganised chaos that always seems to get there eventually.

Kate, Luke and Andy call out Ole Gunnar Solskjær for more post-game patronising and praise Chelsea's adaptability. We also debate the merits of Unai Emery, as his trip to Newcastle hangs in the balance, and celebrate a landmark occasion for Neil Wise Old Head Warnock!

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Living it Lage Nov 02, 2021

Kate, Jim and Vish track Wolves' migration up the table after another tidy win, this time against a struggling Everton. We wonder why the bottom half of the table remains a maelstrom of uncertainty - maybe Marcelo Bielsa's translating sherpa can guide us through.

We also look into Antonio Conte's imminent arrival in North London and the embarrassment of managerial riches the Premier League will possess - with or without lonely wanderer Daniel Farke.

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The curse is lifted Nov 01, 2021

The inevitable axe has finally fallen, with Saturday's turgid performance enough to get Nuno Espírito Santo the sack - whether we can blame him for it or not.

Jules, Luke and Jim wonder why it's consistently gone wrong for Spurs since the 2019 Champions League final and who they should turn to next. We also catch up on a load of other results from the week, as Brighton and Palace took on the big boys and Aleksandar Mitrovic bullied some more Championship defenders.

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The Preview Show: Big Gaffer Energy Oct 29, 2021

As the Man United saga rolls on, Sir Alex Ferguson's back at Carrington. It's just to get a suit fitted, apparently - we assume Ole is holding the tape measure.

Kate, Vish and Pete look ahead to more Premier League nonsense, with United travelling to Spurs and The Graeme Jones Experience in town for one weekend only. Elsewhere, Aleksandar Mitrović is out for a spookin' and Norwich City insist they're not as turgid as their results and performances suggest. All on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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More Moyesy Manchester Murders Oct 28, 2021

First United, now City - David Moyes is coming for you, Manchester. That bridge he burned when he took over from Sir Alex Ferguson is still smouldering.

Jules, Luke and Pete bathe in yet more Fizzy Cup action as Leicester squeezed past Brighton thanks to the Seagulls' generosity, while Brentford broke their Stoke hoodoo. We also celebrate some lovely news from Australia and literally redefine the modern footballing lexicon.

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Freight and see Oct 27, 2021

Kate, Vish and Pete dive into another round of the Fizzy Cup as Arsenal continued their lovely autumn stroll and wildman Kepa Arrizabalaga psyched out the entire population of Southampton.

We also get a Lionesses update after another dominant qualifying display that has left people asking about a Women's Nations League, before applying our Owners' and Directors Test to Derby's potential new owner.

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Burn a bridge to light my way Oct 26, 2021

Antonio Conte seems open to scorching the earth on which decades of Manchester United's success has been built, after saying he'd "be open to understanding the project". We all would, I think.

Kate, Jim and Andy run through the latest spins of the managerial merry-go-round, as Newcastle look to finalise Steve Bruce's replacement. We also scrutinise David Beckham's ambassadorial role for Qatar 2022 and hear the latest of Gianni Infantino's World Cup format proposals, both of which we'd rather just went away to be honest.

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When Harry met Salah Oct 25, 2021

Kate, Luke and Andy are here, counter-pressing the notion that Manchester United are any good after a horrendous showing against the Mo Salah Experience.

Elsewhere, we wonder where it's all going wrong for Daniel Farke, rate some increasingly Josh King extroverted celebrations and decide that Pep Guardiola must be stopped - he's coaching random Brighton stewards, for Christ's sake.

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The Preview Show: A Glimt in his eye Oct 22, 2021

Kate, Vish and Luke react to last night's changing of the European guard, with West Ham strutting their stuff and José Mourinho's Roma the victims in a brutal Scandinavian crime drama.

We also look ahead to some tasty Premier League ties, as Leeds look to rediscover some form and Man United find themselves in Liverpool's crosshairs - all on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Keeping Up With The Icardis Oct 21, 2021

Ole Gunnar Solskjær's tribute act got away with another sloppy performance last night, though Ronnie's last-gasp winner couldn't cheer up Paul Scholes.

Kate, Vish and Jim look over another cracking European #matchday before discussing Steve Bruce's unseemly tenure at Newcastle and if anyone can look back fondly on it. Vish also brings us another bizarre update from the Icardi family!

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Combining the red card with the handshake Oct 20, 2021

Liverpool scraped past Atlético Madrid in a thoroughly entertaining dingdong last night, even though a red card sent Simeone's men into near-uncharted levels of shithousery.

Pete, Vish and Jim also check in with the latest on Tyneside, as other Premier League clubs kick up a fuss and Steve Bruce gets sacked live on air, and Ange Postecoglou continues to remain 110% Australian.

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No World Cup, no cry Oct 19, 2021

Patrick Vieira went to Arsenal’s backyard and almost came away with all three points, while Ben White watched on and wondered what all the fuss was about.

Today, we open the Pandora’s Box: Pete is in the chair! He, Luke and Jim chat all things Arsenal vs Crystal Palace. Elsewhere, Keggy a visit to a CBD shop, we discuss England’s stadium ban and there’s Champos action tonight!

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No Tyne like the present Oct 18, 2021

Newcastle's bunch of ragtag mercenaries probably saw yesterday's tussle with Tottenham as a chance to show the new owners what they're all about. So: Callum Wilson scored, Allan Saint-Maximin danced down some blind alleys and Jonjo Shelvey was sent off after 20 minutes. Standard.

Jules, Luke and Pete blast through that and some other cracking games from the weekend, as Wolves and the Foxes complete outrageous comebacks and Liverpool's relentless form continued. Plus a steward scored with a dildo - make of that what you will.

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The Preview Show: And I need you today, Oh Brucey Oct 15, 2021

As the Saudi shadow looms large over Brucey's thousandth game in charge, we wonder which one of the eight million reasons he'll trot out in the pre-game presser on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Marcus, Luke and Pete also catch up with some off-field antics at Leicester, celebrate the return of Uncle Claudio from his Italian sojourn and wonder if Brentford can provide another upset. Join us!

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Even Barça can't mess this up Oct 14, 2021

Jules, Andy and Vish stop buying MesutCoin long enough to take stock of the latest news, with Chelsea impressing over in Turin and Phil Foden securing the quite outrageous bag.

Elsewhere, we look over the slimming down of Ligue 1 and its implications for the rest of Europe, buy some of Özil's new crypto and hear of how a high school striker's 16 goals is causing a national stir.

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You still turn me on Oct 13, 2021

England's swashbucklers cut through precisely sod all last night in an underwhelming draw with Hungary. Maybe we need... *more* attackers?

Kate, Andy and Jim pick through that throwback performance and celebrate a vital derby win for Scotland in the Faroe Islands. We also wonder how Arsène Wenger can tarnish his legacy even further with more biennial World Cup nonsense and get to some of your dilemmas!

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Clubs over country Oct 12, 2021

Gareth Bale’s been watching some golf again, THE LITTLE SLACKER. Turns out his countrymen got the job done without him, as Wales escaped Estonia with a vital three points and no more goalkeeping clangers.

Kate, Jim and Andy round up the rest of the international happenings, with Memphis Depay being his usual generous self from the penalty spot and Timo Werner grabbing a couple. We also hear of some more bizarre driving instructors and more Ben Brereton Diaz magic!

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Fizzer's full barrel Oct 11, 2021

International football served up its usual range of delights this weekend, as France won the Nations League - via the sublime and the ridiculous - while England dispatched Andorra with predictable ease.

Marcus, Luke and Pete get stuck into those and some impressive results from the other home nations. We also hear Pete's thoughts on the Newcastle takeover as Brucey's days look to be numbered and dissect some Deep State MLS conspiracies from our man in Miami. Strap in.

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The Preview Show: There goes Big Mike, must remember to thank him Oct 08, 2021

There were delirious scenes on Tyneside following the official announcement that the PIF takeover of Newcastle United was complete - but we must acknowledge Mike Ashley's noble role in all this.

Marcus, Andy and Vish wonder what Keggy's ambassadorial role will be in the new setup before turning their attention to international football, as the Nations League served up another cracking semi-final and the World Cup qualifiers return. All on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Call Kylian, show him our bridges Oct 07, 2021

Well, it's been close to happening for over a year and it's safe to say many people are disgusted about it: Italy's unbeaten streak is over!

With the Nations League making internationals great again, Kate, Andy and Vish recap a storming affair and some impressive Spanish youngsters. And with the Saudi Arabian takeover of Newcastle set to go through, we wrestle with the dilemma of accepting much-needed investment from extremely questionable sources.

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The Magic of the (stuffed) Cup Oct 06, 2021

We're swimming in garlic dip on today's episode, as Papa John served up a great win for Hartlepool and Barrow's keeper ended up in centre-midfield. Truly magical stuff.

Marcus, Luke and Pete also check in with two seismic football institutions, as Sir Alex Ferguson grows potatoes for war and Ronald Koeman looks sadder by the day. Maybe Barcelona can get Shaun Goater in to flex his administrative muscle and help them search for new signings?

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The Sausageman returns Oct 05, 2021

Like a cosy, familiar jumper you break out at the start of autumn, Claudio Ranieri is back in the Premier League! Let's see if he can last longer than the remainder of British Summer Time.

Kate and Jim welcome Pete back from his holidays to unpack a fresh slice of Newcastle takeover action, consider some bizarre rule changes from Stefano Pioli and get the transfer latest on PSG legends Kylian Mbappé and Serge Aurier.

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Xisco dumped like a truck, truck Oct 04, 2021

Sound the alarm, it's the first managerial sacking of the season - poor old Xisco Munoz. After being so accomodating to a dysfunctioning Leeds, too.

Marcus, Luke and Jim whiz round the barns left burning after another Prem weekender, with City and Liverpool playing out a classic and Leicester holding on for a point at Palace. The big man also made his mark at Old Trafford once again: Andros Townsend, come on down!

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The Preview Show: All I want for Christmas is Jude Oct 01, 2021

Christmas has come early for a certain Marcus Speller, with the latest England squad announcement full of festive cheer- BUT WHY AREN'T JUDE BELLINGHAM AND IVAN TONEY IN THERE?!

Our little drummer boy is joined by Luke and Jim to recap last night's continental crusades as Leicester struggled in Poland and Charlie Kane had the last laugh. We also look ahead to a title tussle at Anfield and another performance from The Andros Townsend Experience - all that on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Ripping your shirt off in a group game Sep 30, 2021

Just another night for Prime Time and his band of Manny men, as Ronaldo shoved a last-minute spanner in the Solskjaer Out operation.

Kate, Andy and Vish look back on last night's Champions League humdingers, as Max Allegri's Juventus impressed and Barcelona continue to implode. There's also a whip round the Championship and some cracking news from the Faroe Islands!

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All of a sudden I see Sheriff Sep 29, 2021

The combined squads on show at the Parc des Princes: €2bn. Real Madrid losing at home to a team from an unrecognised breakaway state in their maiden Champions League season: priceless.

Jules, Jim and Vish recap the first night of matchweek two, with Pep delighted by Lionel Messi's wondergoal and Liverpool putting Porto to the sword yet again. We also solve some more listener dilemmas and get a long-overdue water pistol update!

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The Red Wine Club Sep 28, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Vish discuss a spicy Monday night in the Prem, as the Seagulls spotted Patrick Vieira’s shiny head, swooped down and nicked his precious three points.

There’s also time for the tragic life and times of Mark Clattenburg, featuring fist fights with other refs and Graham Poll’s Red Wine Club. Plus, the European Super League slip through UEFA’s net and the Premier League starts plans to move abroad. All in a good day’s work in villainous football administration, we suppose.

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I'm not scared of Graeme Souness Sep 27, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Jim round up a scorching weekend of Premier League madness, with Arsenal pouring some long lost sauce over an utterly overcooked Spurs.

Elsewhere, Brentford and Liverpool remind us of their strengths, Ole Gunnar Solskjær takes a page from his idol's playbook and José Mourinho plays out the Rome derby in typically understated fashion.

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The Preview Show: From North London to Norway Sep 24, 2021

Marcus and Luke are joined by fellow Ramble clansman Lars Sivertsen on today's episode of the Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

There are plenty of cracking fixtures to look ahead to this weekend, as Pep Guardiola has another crack at Thomas Tuchel and a buoyant Brentford host lethal Liverpool. There's also perhaps the most frivolous North London derby in a long while and Lars makes his Luke's Game debut!

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More Timo Werner conspiracy theories Sep 23, 2021

The magic of the Carabao lives on, as David Moyes got one over his old employers and AFC Wimbledon accepted an invite to the big dance at the Emirates. Shame they lost - can't have it all, Andy.

Andy's joined by Jules and Luke for a roundup of the other League Cup matches, where Chelsea and Spurs scraped through on penalties and the Seagulls did the business again. We also look into the rise of 'support players' and the recent developments around the future of safe standing in football - join us!

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Wycombe Wycombe - Junglist massive Sep 22, 2021

The away end at the Etihad was absolutely pumping for 22 minutes last night and Gareth Ainsworth was delighted - let's just forget the subsequent shellacking from Man City.

Kate, Vish and Luke get in the third round of Carabao, with Brentford turning on the style and QPR and Stoke both claiming big boy scalps. We also address more listener dilemmas without much skill or purpose - similar to FIFA's continued policy around eradicating racism, it turns out.

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The rave's still on Sep 21, 2021

Kate, Vish and Jim take a break from two-stepping around Newcastle's festival scene with Jordan Pickford to assess how Everton have started and what they can expect from this season.

We also look into some peculiar social media action from Arsenal, try to seize the means of footballing production and look ahead to another round of that sweet, sweet Carabao.

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Martin Keown's cave of whispering desires Sep 20, 2021

Premier League strikers beware - Martin Keown knows how to handle you. Especially you, Romelu.

Marcus, Andy and Pete cast their hive mind over the weekend's action, as Spurs crumble to predictable pieces and Man Utd escape West Ham with all three points. There's also time for an impressive win for Watford, the sorry state at Derby County and a reality check for Messrs Neville and Beckham.

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The Preview Show: Kinder egg of a goal Sep 17, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Vish tell you all about the key happenings last night and much more on The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

West Ham returned to Europe with a bang and a cheeky glimmer in David Moyes’ eye. Elsewhere, there’s news that sheep are keeping Cristiano Ronaldo awake but not holding back his coup at Manchester United, while a training ground showdown takes place in Newcastle. Plus, a new story enters the Kevin Keegan hall of infamy and the custard conspiracy takes another dark twist.

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Cross-field salad cream Sep 16, 2021

How is it possible to feel like you’re missing out when you’re watching a 3-2?

Marcus, Andy and Vish fan the flames of a barn-burning night of Champions League action, as Liverpool and Milan serve up another classic while Antonio Conte visits the Cavern Club and everyone has fun at the Etihad, apart from Pep Guardiola.

We also hear more bizarre footballer injuries and learn about the Turkish political party campaigning to get rid of offsides. If the glove fits, I suppose. Come join us!

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Smouldering Champions League embers Sep 15, 2021

The Champos is back with a clang, as Jesse Lingard gifted those Young Boys a victory minutes from time. It was actually reminiscent of a game from last season Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said he never wanted to happen again. Damn it all.

Marcus, Jim and Andy also look over a solid victory for Chelsea and an absolute cakewalk for Bayern Munich over in Barcelona. Demba Ba also announces his retirement and we finally come up with a name for our new Agony Aunt section - ropey jingle included.

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Hedge fund goalie Sep 14, 2021

Arise, Sir Andros of Walton. Kate, Luke and Pete look back on Everton’s storming six minutes last night, as Andros Townsend smashed in a beauty and the Salomón Rondón-Rafa Benítez love story entered a new chapter.

We check in with Leicester after their promising display against Man City at the weekend and wonder whether James Maddison’s lack of hobbies is bringing about his slow demise. There’s also a look ahead to the return of the big shiny Champions League and a brand new shiny game from Pete’s Pandora’s Box. Brace yourselves!

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A friend of mine watched a stream Sep 13, 2021

It was great to see a Man United legend return to Old Trafford on Saturday to such fanfare, freshly bronzed from the Portuguese sunshine. Ronaldo was there, too.

Jules, Luke and Pete discuss a jam-packed weekend of football nonsense, as Man United get off to a flyer with Ronaldo, while Patrick Vieira does one over Spurs – again – and Mo Salah hits 100. There’s also a special José Mourinho milestone, another footballer’s obsession with custard, and a Dutch footballer suffers a truly bizarre injury after… eating a carrot.

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The Preview Show: Tactics and TikToks on Tyneside Sep 10, 2021

There can be no tougher test for Cristiano Ronaldo than a visit from Steve Bruce's tactical titans - just as well no UK fans will be able to watch it, really!

Kate, Luke and Pete also wonder how far Arsenal can slip into the darkness ahead of their game against Norwich, while Scott Carson 'n co will look for Community Shield revenge against Leicester. Plenty of that and loads more on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

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Quick pint of Tennent's, Timo? Sep 09, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Vish assess the state of play after England's set of qualifiers ended with a 1-1 draw in Poland. Another Harry Kane goal, a lack of subs and surrendering a lead - same old story, perhaps?

Elsewhere, Wales and Northern Ireland just about kept themselves in the hunt with a couple of clean sheets and Italy finally won a game. We also hear more of Vish's bizarre takeaway habits and FIFA's version of The Avengers starts to take shape - it seems John Terry is, indeed, inevitable.

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Too much of our Good Thing Sep 08, 2021

Che Adams and Lyndon Dykes continued their stint as Scotland's devastating double act, as their pestering perseverance earned Scotland a vital 1-0 win over Austria.

Kate, Andy and Luke canter through all of last night's highlights, with Andy's AFC Wimbledon on the march and Andy's Turkey on the end of another pasting. We also chat about FIFA's depressing calls for bi-annual World Cups and wonder whether we'll see further opposition to Qatar 2022 in the coming months.

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Interrailing with Jürgen Klopp Sep 07, 2021

Kate, Vish and Jim pick through football's latest happenings, which predictably include detained Argentinians and a 1980s interrailing holiday with the Liverpool boss.

We also hear of a classic tale from the Pep Guardiola back catalogue and tackle some fundamental questions on football broadcasting: should Cristiano Ronaldo’s 3pm debut be televised? And how did a bald man obstruct an entire TV audience?

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Daft little penalty, silly unbeaten record Sep 06, 2021

Jules, Jim and Pete round up a weekend of international football, with Gareth's gang back picking up another serene Wembley win thanks to Executive Vibes Director, Jesse Lingard.

More of the same also occurred across Europe, with Italy *still* unbeaten and Gareth Bale *still* doing the business for Wales. The same can't be said of South America, mind, as four of Argentina's squad were detained mid-game by Brazilian officials! Turns out a fair few people do actually watch them in the Premier League...

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Patreon special: Our football room 101 Sep 05, 2021

Welcome to a special bonus episode of the Football Ramble! This week, we’re bringing you one of our weekly Patreon-exclusive episodes of Ramble On, where we chat about all sorts of nonsense that we don’t have chance to in the week.

Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete compile their own room 101: everything they would like to see banned from the beautiful game, featuring barcodes, throw-ins and… Disney?

For more bonus episodes and ad-free shows across the Football Ramble and Football Ramble Presents, head to patreon.com/footballramble.

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The Preview Show: England fill their bellies Sep 03, 2021

Welcome back to the Football Ramble Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! This time around Jules, Jim and Luke pore over England's big win in Hungary, as Hungarian fans disgrace themselves yet again.

Elsewhere there's Northern Ireland's big result in Lithuania, Cristiano Ronaldo's favourite shirt (bless) and more emails from our listeners that have sold things to footballers, before we get into a seismic Luke's Game as Jules Breach makes her debut. Don't miss it!

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England's vibesmen return Sep 02, 2021

The cream of Europe's striking talent was on show last night as Cristiano Ronaldo broke the men's international scoring record, Erling Haaland smashed in another and Aleksandar Mitrović was... nowhere to be seen.

Marcus, Jim and Pete bounce through last night's results, with Scotland sloppy at the back and the Netherlands confirming they're not the best team around. We also hear of some apparent transfer chicanery and look ahead to England's return!

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The dream begins Sep 01, 2021

Deadline day drama: you couldn’t write it. Except Newcastle’s new signing Santiago Muñóz who is literally a character from a film: yeah, they really did it.

Kate, Luke and Vish are here to discuss Kylian Mbappé, who’s staying right where he is despite being turned into a human clock. Elsewhere, even Sergio Agüero is going to have a tough time propping up Barcelona's attack as they swap Antoine Griezmann for a St James' Park legend.

We also round-up the Premier League’s own serving of nonsense, as Salomón Rondón is reunited with his true love and Arsenal have sounded the centre-back alarm. Plus, we offer some more sage advice for listeners in need!

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Fancy playing for Barnsley? Aug 31, 2021

Kate, Luke and Pete are here to sift through the good, the bad and the questionable from another round of Now That's What I Call Deadline Day.

We're swiping right on Transfer Tinder for likes of Odsonne Edouard and Dan James, while Alex Witsel's coach has snuffed out rumours on Twitter. We also hear of some noble deeds - from Troy Deeney, who leaves Watford after eleven years' service, and Willian, who leaves Arsenal after the world's most ludicrous contract.

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Mesut Özil trusts us, for some reason Aug 30, 2021

Marcus, Vish and Jim take another post-Premier League bath, with a whole host of nonsense to get stuck into. Join us!

Cristiano Ronaldo was off to Man City when we last spoke, but now we wrestle with some mixed feelings ahead of his return to Old Trafford. There's plenty of on-pitch stuff too; Patrick Vieira's youth revolution gets underway at Crystal Palace, the malaise continues to set in at Arsenal, and Chelsea's ten men survive a testing trip to Anfield.

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The Preview Show: And you can tell Bernard Matthews Aug 27, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Pete are here for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We look forward to a couple of huge Premier League games as Liverpool led by a spectacles-less Klopp clash with Chelsea at Anfield. Meanwhile, Brother Brendy has an away trip to Norwich to get back on the horse, but at least he has Scott Brown’s undying affection. Plus, there’s the England squad announcement and a tasty Champions League draw.

We also discuss Arsenal’s trip to the Etihad, where Cristiano Ronaldo’s shadow looms large. And speaking of superstars, Kevin Keegan is due to make a rare public appearance at the Birmingham Hilton. We can barely contain ourselves.

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I’m staying this August Aug 26, 2021

To everyone’s absolute shock, Daniel Levy has outmanoeuvred Charlie Kane and Harry ‘H’ Kane is staying at Spurs after all. But just you wait for the gentleman’s agreement they have lined up for next summer.

Marcus, Jim and Andy discuss the end of the Kane saga, while Pep covers it up by cooking up a fresh one of his own. Elsewhere, Arsenal dine out at the Hawthorns and Steve Bruce refuses to be beaten. Plus, mitten-knuckled fist fights and Belgian break-ins.

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A football Romeo and Juliet Aug 25, 2021

It’s time to… #switchon.

Jules, Andy and Luke ponder on last night’s huge wicked whisper, as Burnley slam down a big wad of cash for Maxwel Cornet. Something’s happening with that Kylian Mbappé fella as well.

Meanwhile, Gareth Bale pulls back the curtain on an incredibly drab existence and Jules shares her favourite transfer of the window. Plus, we down a bit of Carabao, and provide some more expert advice for you listeners, this time featuring a banana tree and a bridge.

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Playmobil Pelé Aug 24, 2021

Just want Michail Antonio to take us in his arms and lift us like one of his cardboard cutouts.

Kate is back to join Pete and Vish for their own merry jig: we look back on West Ham’s duffing of Leicester as David Moyes shows signs of dizziness.

We also wave goodbye to the Minecraft Messi, check in with the latest on Adama Traoré and Eddie Nketiah, while a striker in Brazil spins the ultimate redemption narrative. Plus, Egypt and Liverpool’s stand-off and what it all bodes for the international break (it’s not good).

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An old jumper ravaged by moths Aug 23, 2021

Romelu Lukaku is back and he’s already wreaking havoc.

Marcus, Vish and a chastened Jim Campbell cast their eyes over the second round of the Premier League circus. We discuss Lukaku’s credentials as the next Bond after Arsenal fall to Chelsea, wonder whether Fred might be more effective as a Paul Pogba golf club, and try to find out where Burnley source their players after another valiant battle at Anfield.

There’s also not nice news from Nice and the most exciting Inter Miami update yet. We promise.

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The Preview Show: Follow the cigarette butts Aug 20, 2021

We go again! The Premier League is back for its second weekend. Marcus, Luke and Vish chew over the weekend’s fixtures on your brand new edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We react to news that Charlie Kane has taken a back seat in negotiations with Blofeld, while Steve Bruce hosts a phone in with Newcastle United fans. What could go wrong? Plus, there’s a right old ding dong of a Luke’s Game.

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Admiral Alkmaar Aug 19, 2021

Midweek Championship games under the lights and Neil Warnock absolutely raging at the officials. Club football, we’ve missed you.

Marcus, Jim and Andy take in another round of Championship action, check in with Celtic and Joe Hart, and Jim delivers some FACTS about Martin Ødegaard. Plus, we have our say on one of the biggest kit abominations in recent memory and the ever-benevolent Cristiano Ronaldo opens a hair transplant clinic.

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Rome wasn't torn down in a season Aug 18, 2021

Vish is back in the building! He joins Marcus and Andy for a Championship roundup, as Fulham set their sights on the title and Mick McCarthy brings his usual blend of delight and disgust.

Elsewhere, Moldovan side Sheriff Tiraspol dream of the Champions League and Chelsea have let one of their young fly the nest, as Tammy Abraham joins José at Roma. At least there's a buyback clause, should absence make their hearts grow fonder.

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Pep's giant step forward Aug 17, 2021

Marcus, Pete and Jim saunter through the latest news spouting out from football's fax machine, as Jesse Lingard assesses his options and some Paul Pogba transfer chat arrives right on schedule.

Elsewhere Barcelona look to reduce their wage bill by signing even more players, Granit Xhaka continues to linger and Man City search the lower leagues for the Big Man to accompany Little Man Harry Kane.

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Another underwhelming Paul Pogba performance Aug 16, 2021

Just the four assists and a dominant display from the Man United midfielder? Not interested.

Jules, Luke and Pete revel in the return of the Premier League as Spurs kept Man City at arm's length and Brentford sent a sorry Arsenal packing. There were plenty of great performances, too, with Declan Risotto stirring it up for West Ham and Cucho Hernández scoring a beauty with his first Watford touch in four years.

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The Preview Show: Premier League returns! Aug 13, 2021

The Big Dance kicks off tonight over in Brentford and we're bloody excited - welcome to a brand new episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Kate, Jim and Andy cast their eye over a raft of games, where Jadon Sancho might make his Premier League debut and Arsenal will hope to avoid a sting from their new neighbours. We also find out that Steve Bruce is basing his transfer strategy on Pete's Film Club - terrifying stuff, indeed.

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Maybe you can hire Kepa Arrizabalaga Aug 12, 2021

In a move undoubtedly designed to spite Maurizio Sarri and our own Luke Moore, Kepa subbed himself on for last night's Super Cup shootout - and bloody won it for Chelsea!

Marcus, Andy and Pete celebrate Kepa's noble act, hear Andy's perspective on the Lionel Messi transfer and start to look ahead to the Premier League season. It's back, baby, and Tim Krul's getting the beers in.

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Last Tango in Paris Aug 11, 2021

Well, it's happened: the chickens of football's overindulgence have come home to roost, as Lionel Messi joins the dark side. At least Jules is back for her first Ramble of the season!

She's joined by Jim and Pete to pick through that depressing rubble, recap some tasty action from the Carabao Cup and wonder whether Tanguy Ndombele will ever play again.

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Return of the Mag Aug 10, 2021

Joe Willock looks set to carry on the fairytale at St James' Park, where he'll no doubt continue to score in every single game. Should be quite a season for Frank Lampard incarnate!

Marcus and Jim try to tease some positivity out of Pete about that signing, before turning their attention to other transfer matters. Romelu Lukaku's back for Premier League revenge and Barcelona's money troubles continue - before Marcus provides another positive Fizzer update!

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Not Fast, Too Furious: The José Mourinho story Aug 09, 2021

Has anyone told José that it's still pre-season and a 5-2 loss to Real Betis didn't need five red cards for a mix of Roma players and staff? The Greatest Hits tour continues, it seems...

Kate, Pete and Jim have plenty of football to get stuck into, as the EFL season opened with a bang and Leicester completed their silverware sweep with a crucial Community Shield victory. We also get the latest on the death of football's soul with Lionel Messi's enforced move to the Empire nearing completion.

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There will probably be some supporters in here Aug 06, 2021

Lionel Messi has actually, really left Barcelona. Probably.

Marcus, Luke and Pete react to a seismic night as the Catalan giants hatch plans to turn Messi into a gas meter and Man City unveil their new star boy.

We also look ahead to the return of the Football League, as Marco Silva seeks stability, Derby County scramble for players, and the Sutton United fairytale begins. Plus, it’s the return of Luke’s Game! Can Donaldson pull off an upset?

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Flying without Ings Aug 05, 2021

It seems Aston Villa might well be splashing the Jack Grealish cash already, as Danny Ings slips off to Birmingham in the dead of night.

Marcus, Pete and Andy check in with all the latest transfer happenings as the season looms ever closer. Elsewhere, Barcelona may have been thrown a lifeline and we reserve BIG APPLAUSE for the return of Louis van Gaal - he's back baby!

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Another VAR riddle to solve Aug 04, 2021

After consulting some Proper Football Men, the Premier League has tried to dial back VAR by making it more complicated. Clangers galore!

Kate, Luke and Pete tackle that with minimal contact before looking over the latest Champions League qualifiers, where Rangers legend Steven Davis nabbed a late goal against Malmö. There's also time for a Dani Alves update and the latest around Chelsea as they plot another bid for Romelu Lukaku.

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The shirt off Joelinton's back Aug 03, 2021

First the lack of goals in seasons gone by, now avoiding training altogether? Harry Kane really does hate August.

Marcus, Jim and Pete settle in for a round of ice-cold sagas, with Kane determined to leave Spurs and James Rodríguez seemingly not in Rafa's plans. Callum Wilson has also been spilling some beans about Brucey's tactical folly, Preston North End beat a mystery team and even Fizzer got a win!

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Babysitting in a North London trench Aug 02, 2021

Like John H. Miller charging into the chaos at Omaha Beach, it seems Ben White has quite the job at the centre of Arsenal's defence. Keep the sand out of your boots, Ben.

Kate, Jim and Andy recap the weekend's football, which saw Celtic starting the Scottish Premiership season in disappointing fashion and Arsenal losing an absolutely crucial pre-season fixture. We also assess where it went wrong for Team GB and wonder how Leon Bailey might get on at Aston Villa.

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Hitting the road, Jack? Jul 30, 2021

Kate, Pete and Jim settle in to wonder whether Jack Grealish will soon slide his glorious calves into some walking boots and trudge up to Manchester City.

Elsewhere, Arsène Wenger has been linked to a gloriously suave return to management while his compatriot Raymond Domenech continues to take as much undeserved credit as possible. There's also a return for Virgil van Dijk and the first-ever round of Kate's Game!

We're back with daily episodes Monday-Friday, so make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode!

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Will trade Phil Jones for spaghetti Jul 29, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Jim have competitive club football to report on already, as Celtic's Champions League dreams were dashed for another season. The Europa League (potentially) beckons!

Elsewhere, boardroom manoeuvres won't stop David Moyes trying to bring the Manny band back together and Victor Wanyama's stocking his cupboards. We also dream up a solution for men's football's Olympic problem and check over the new heading regulations being rolled out.

We're back with daily episodes Monday-Friday, so make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode!

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Pete's Amazon purchase history Jul 28, 2021

The Premier League's revolving centre-back door keeps on spinnin', as Kate bids a fond farewell to helmet-haired Toby Alderweireld. Don't worry though, because Spurs want Aaron Ramsey: direct replacement, that.

Luke and Pete join Kate at Ramble Towers with more of the latest from the football circus, as Kepa Arrizabalaga extends Maurizio Sarri an olive branch, Team GB reach the next round at the Olympics and Joaquín's week-long hangover ruled him out of a pre-season game.

We're back with daily episodes Monday-Friday, so make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode!

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That's awful from me Jul 27, 2021

Marcus, Pete and Jim are here to hail the latest cab off the centre-back rank, with Raphaël Varane and Ben White two more risk-free additions expected in the coming days.

Elsewhere, the post-Gareth Bale era winds down at Spurs with Eric Lamela's sad departure, Steve Bruce shoulders the takeover burden and Wayne Rooney looks tired - someone get him some players, my word.

We're back with daily episodes Monday-Friday, so make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode!

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We're back and so is Jadon Sancho! Jul 26, 2021

The Football Ramble is back for the new season, with fans in full stadiums and Fizzer's fantastical flaws just two things we can't wait to enjoy.

Since we've been away Jadon Sancho has returned to Manchester thanks to Smooth Operator Ed Woodward, while Andros Townsend joined Everton. We also check in with Phil Neville's sinking Miami ship and get a jam-packed Olympics update!

We're back with daily episodes Monday-Friday, so make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode!

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2020/21 Showcase: Between The Lines with Melissa Reddy – An interview with Daniel Sturridge Jul 23, 2021

We're rounding off our week of showcase episodes with a cracking interview from the first season of Between The Lines with Melissa Reddy!

Back in October, Melissa spoke to ex-Liverpool and England striker Daniel Sturridge. He talks about some of the highest moments in a storied career and his continued determination to overcome setbacks and get back to the top.

We're showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all this week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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2020/21 Showcase: Between The Lines with Melissa Reddy – No more silence Jul 22, 2021

We're off to another football show on the Stak network today, as we look back at a couple of episodes from the first season of Between The Lines with Melissa Reddy! The show takes a forensic look at football's biggest issues and gets unrivalled insight from the likes of Mauricio Pochettino, Gary Lineker and Adam Lallana.

Today's episode focuses on the immense difficulties faced by women working in football, from harassment to constant questioning of their roles. Women from all around the game join Melissa to share their stories and push for much-needed change.

We're showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all this week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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2020/21 Showcase: Book Club – Out of the Darkness, Matt Piper & Joe Brewin Jul 21, 2021

Today, we're returning to Football Ramble Presents for a classic episode of the Book Club, where Kate and Jim speak to football's finest authors about their work.

Matt Piper spoke to Kate last year about his unflinching autobiography 'Out of the Darkness', which tracks his journey from Leicester City star to life's very bottom, and how he's overcome those dark times. They're also joined by Matt's ghostwriter and FourFourTwo editor, Joe Brewin!

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all this week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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2020/21 Showcase: Ramble Meets... Stuart Pearce Jul 20, 2021

For the next few days, we're looking back through some of our favourite Football Ramble Presents episodes from this season - today, Mark Pougatch is joined by England legend, Stuart Pearce! They discuss Stuart's time as Nottingham Forest captain under Brian Clough, before reflecting on his England career and the aftermath of Euro '96.

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all this week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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A Summer Worth Waiting For: Football Ramble x Jameson Jul 19, 2021

We're back for another bonus episode of the Football Ramble, thanks to our friends at Jameson. Today, Marcus and Kate are looking ahead to a cracking summer of football alongside Sky Sports and TalkSPORT presenter Laura Woods!

With the new season on the horizon, we celebrate the gradual return of fans to stadiums and the passion they bring. We also chat about some of our favourite moments from Euro 2020 and crank up our excitement for the return of football as we know and love.

Join in!

This episode was sponsored by Jameson. Whether you like your Jameson with ginger ale and lime - or in a cocktail - pour out a glass and enjoy Jameson this summer with the ones you love.

18+ please drink responsibly - for more information, head to drinkaware.co.uk.

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2020/21 Showcase: The Teams of Our Lives - Inter, 2010 Jul 16, 2021

We're back with another exclusive episode from our Patreon archive, as we drop the needle on a classic episode of Teams of Our Lives!

As the name suggests, every week Marcus and Andy look back over footballing history's many glorious teams. Ahead of his return to Serie A, we're looking back at a certain Special One and his Internazionale treble winners from 2010.

You can binge all the Teams of Our Lives episodes by signing up to our Patreon, where you'll also get exclusive livestream videos, ad-free episodes of the Ramble and access to our weekly Ramble On podcast episodes - sign up now at patreon.com/footballramble!

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all next week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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2020/21 Showcase: Ramble On – Vish's fantasy football career & Marcus and Jim's dream club Jul 15, 2021

For the rest of this week, we're showcasing some of our favourite podcast episodes we've released exclusively for our Patreon subscribers! In these two episodes of Ramble On, Vish outlines his dream fantasy football career that ends in a brutal murder, before Marcus and Jim build their dream club designed exclusively to annoy West Ham.

You can binge all our Ramble On episodes by signing up to our Patreon, where you can also get access to exclusive livestream videos, ad-free episodes of the Ramble and access to our weekly Teams of Our Lives podcast episodes - sign up now at patreon.com/footballramble!

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network all next week, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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The Best of Euro 2020: Part II Jul 14, 2021

We're back for another Best Of episode, as we look back through the truly brilliant knockout stages of Euro 2020. We've got wooden floor celebrations, a boatload of eazay's, Sunday's Italian Job and even Hatem Ben Arfa! Join us!

Timecodes for the episode are available here.

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network from Thursday, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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The Best of Euro 2020: Part I Jul 13, 2021

What a bloody tournament that was! To celebrate the end of a cracking summer of football, we've cut together a Euro 2020 diary featuring the best clips from every single day of the tournament.

Today, we rattle through the group stages - from England's measured start and Turkey's utter capitulation to that Patrik Schick wondergoal, psychic predictions and supercomputers. Remember those?!

Timecodes for the episode are available here.

We'll be showcasing some of our favourite football shows from across the Stak network from Thursday, before returning with brand new episodes of the Football Ramble from Monday 26th July!

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Better to have loved and lost Jul 12, 2021

Well, there we are: the two tournament's best teams made the Euro 2020 final, where England fell at the final hurdle.

Marcus, Luke and Vish settle in for a pensive postmortem, as England were beaten by a better team after more penalty shoot-out heartbreak. We praise the Italian's steeliness and assess how they took the game away from England, who themselves can be proud of their performances throughout a joyous tournament.

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One step from glory Jul 10, 2021

After fifty matches and 140 goals, the tournament's two best teams remain standing - and Gareth Southgate's England are one of them.

Kate, Luke and Vish look ahead to what should be a cracking final, with intriguing and potentially pivotal individual battles across the pitch. We also take a moment to consider the generational impact this team has had on the country and see just how far a group of nice guys can go.

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How England got here Jul 09, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Jim pull up some chairs in the eye of the storm, with England two days from potential immortality.

We look back on England's route to the final, as Southgate's lambasted pragmatism gradually moulded into the key for all our hearts. Elsewhere, the mind games have started at Gazzetta dello Sport, Sven backs the boys and we get a live Soccer Moses update from Nashville itself!

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Six down, one to go? Jul 08, 2021

We have our Euro 2020 final - and England are only bloody in it for the first time ever. EAAAAZZAAAYY!!!!!

Andy and Pete drag Marcus home from Wembley just in time to revel in England's fantastic win over a spirited Denmark. It's the first time the men's side have reached a final since The Big One, all on the back of another controlled and measured performance that have become a hallmark of glorious Gareth Southgate. Seriously, what on Earth is going on?!

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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The 120-minute Italian Job Jul 07, 2021

One half the tournament ledger has been finalised, with Giorgio Chiellini's ragtag bunch of renegades advancing to the final at Spain's expense.

Kate, Andy and Jim spare a thought for Álvaro Morata, who slid past Gianluigi Donnarumma with one shot and then blew his foot off with another. We also look ahead to England's semi-final against Denmark, as Gareth's gang singlehandedly restore a measured and genuine pride in the England national team. G'wan England!

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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I love this bream Jul 06, 2021

With the semi-finals honing into view, you join us in the back of Patrice Evra's car wearing John Lennon glasses with some fish and chips. Yep.

Jules, Jim and Andy check in on the latest movers and shakers around Europe, as Danny looks to spread his Ings and Barcelona rummage down the back of the sofa for a few euros. We also look ahead to what should be a cracking semi-final where organised chaos (Italy) meet unorganised chaos (Spain).

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

Search ‘Football Ramble’ on social media to find us, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The bald eagle has landed Jul 05, 2021

With a historic semi-final looming, England have finally brought out the big guns: the unicorns have returned. It's business time and we're all for it.

Marcus, Luke and Pete also hear some alarming words of encouragement from Timo Werner and wonder how Patrick Vieira will get on at Crystal Palace. Speaking of Premier League legends, Marcus brings us the latest Phil Neville update and Hatem Ben Arfa's mate thinks he'll return to Newcastle one day....

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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The very definition of Eazay Jul 04, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Jim are as batshit giddy as you'd expect after England sauntered past Ukraine with a casual wave of Harry Maguire's massive bonce.

Gareth Southgate and the entire squad get their due praise as we celebrate England's brilliant brand of organised fun. We also look over their semi-final opponents, with Denmark putting in another impressive performance against a steely Czech Republic.

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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I don't care what Spinning Zola says Jul 03, 2021

Kate, Pete and Jim settle in after Italy took the sheen off Belgium's golden generation thanks to a heady cocktail of swashbuckling shithousery - it's great to see.

Spain's 1476 attacks only yielded one goal in the other quarter-final, but were saved by Switzerland's torrid attempts in the shootout. We also look ahead to England's trip to Rome with a place in the semi-finals up for grabs!

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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One, two, three, bend Jul 02, 2021

We made it through two days without the Euros - well done, everyone. Jules, Luke and Andy charge into the studio to look ahead to the quarter-finals!

We check in on the latest around England, who will head to Rome buoyed by the continued support of Uri Geller. Spain will try to keep their wobbly steam train on the tracks, while Belgium face Italy - break out the 2013 FA Cup final montages!

We're releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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It's frank, le boeuf Jul 01, 2021

Tottenham's search for their new manager has come to an end, almost exactly where it began two months ago. Nuno Espírito Santo, come on down!

Kate, Andy and Pete also check in on a few other managerial moves, as Rafa Benítez crosses Stanley Park and Frank de Boer stepped down from the Netherlands role “in anticipation of the evaluation”. Presumably, the evaluation will be that he's had a mare from start to finish.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

Search ‘Football Ramble’ on social media to find us, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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What you’re looking at is the Master Plan Jun 30, 2021

There's a big old 'eazay!' coming over the hill and there's nothing you can do to stop it; England beat Germany and march on to the quarter-finals!

Marcus, Luke and Vish look back over a cracking England performance, a vital goal for Harry Kane and the ridiculous Wembley atmosphere. We also bid a fond farewell to Joachim Löw and examine Ukraine's last gasp win over Sweden.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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So, what on Earth happened last night? Jun 29, 2021

Kate, Vish and Pete charge into the studio after one of the greatest days in international tournament history - even Álvaro Morata got involved!

France papered over substantial cracks with a brief flurry of attacking brilliance - with Karim Benzema and Paul Pogba showcasing their endless class - before somehow losing to Switzerland. We also rave about an All You Can Score buffet that Spain won and look ahead to England's night of reckoning, soundtracked by the sodding England band.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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It's definitely not Frank de Boer's fault Jun 28, 2021

Marcus, Pete and Jim attend another big team postmortem, as the Netherlands crumbled under a few stern glances from the Czech Republic.

Cristifraud Penaldo is also on his way home after Belgium muscled their way past Portugal, with Lukaku running all night long and Eden Hazard's junk just too strong st-strong, strong strong.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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The Barmy Armani Jun 27, 2021

The unstoppable Danish train rolls on, as Wales become the latest team to be swept aside by Kasper Dolberg 'n co.

Jules, Vish and Jim wonder where it all went wrong for Robert Page's side and find even more reasons to love the Italians, as they knocked out wannabe villain Marko Arnautović and Austria.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Gal-away Goals Girl Jun 25, 2021

On our second day without Euros action we contemplate football's circle of life, as we wave goodbye to away goals and welcome Chile's Ben Brereton.

Kate, Pete and Vish gather some highlights from the group stages and bring you a Copa America update. We also look ahead to the first knockout matches, as the Italians continue to kiss Atillio Lombardo's head and Wales spill their attacking secrets. All of that and loads more on today's episode of the Ramble, sponsored by Betway!

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Hungary for more Jun 24, 2021

The group stages reached their final crescendo last night, with Hungary kicked out of the party despite giving the big boys a run for their money.

With that, Cristiano Ronaldo closes in on immortality and Germany deal themselves a knockout game against England - even as Joachim Löw still shuffles his pack. Join Marcus, Jim and Vish as we pick through all the other goals from last night and see where it leaves us ahead of the knockout stages!

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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We still have a good time with No Way Sis Jun 23, 2021

It wasn’t Nirvana for England last night, but thanks to everyone’s adorable little brother and a pair of magnificent calves it was good enough! Marcus, Luke and Jim react to England’s surprisingly dignified scramble for top spot and Scotland’s heartbreak against Luke Modrić and his merry men.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Great Danes Jun 22, 2021

Bloody hell Denmark. Bloody hell. Jules, Luke and Jim react to an epic night in Copenhagen which had it all: thunderbastards, bandaged leaders and the most extraordinary comeback story.

We also hail the Finns for their brave showing against those bothersome Belgians, who might just whip the trophy out of England’s hands despite Gareth Southgate engineering a genius progression to the last 16. Plus, we test some more tournament formats and turn our attentions to two huge clashes tonight for Scotland and England!

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Please don't take me home Jun 21, 2021

Wales have reached the knockout rounds for the second Euros in a row! Kate, Jim and Pete look over their dogged performance against Italy, who further cemented themselves as suave Bond villains hell-bent on winning it all.

At the other end of the form table lie Turkey who - despite being the tournament's de facto dark horses - finished with one of the worst records in the competition's history. Xherdan Shaqiri's pair of absolute worldies saw to that.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Right, who doubted the Germans? Jun 20, 2021

Even Cristiano Ronaldo couldn't halt a resurgent German performance that's put die katzen amongst the pigeons in Group F.

Marcus, Jim and Pete also offer a shoulder for Álvaro Morata to lean on, as he followed up his first tournament goal with a shoddy miss and then got substituted. Meanwhile, France nearly lost to some unfancied but buoyant underdogs - who on Earth would do that...

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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It was a nothing-nothing result Jun 19, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Pete couldn't construct any clear-cut chances in the studio, so we've left the mics on and Jack Grealish is going to have a go.

England's underwhelming performance contrasted with an impressive Scottish effort, who now have a good chance of qualifying after last night's draw. We also check in on the striking exploits of Patrik Schick and Alexander Isak, two forwards who will no doubt terrorise England later in the tournament.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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The Auld Enemy, together again Jun 18, 2021

Jules, Luke and Pete latch on to a perfectly weighted Kevin De Bruyne through ball and smash in another Ramble episode - boy, is it a big one!

Belgium and the Netherlands both booked their tickets to the next round, with KDB back to his ruthless best and Ronald Koeman doing his best to douse any Dutch hopes. And, of course, we look ahead to England vs Scotland - 'ere we go!

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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A Turkey shoot and a quick Swissmissal Jun 17, 2021

Wales put one foot in the next round after a cracking win over Turkey - that just leaves Kate, Jim and Luke to work out what "eazay!" is in Welsh on today's Ramble sponsored by Betway!

Italy's impressive form continued with three more goals, despite Granit Xhaka rolling out his own Gazza '96 impression, while Aleksei Miranchuk slipped past some Finnish axes and slotted home Russia's first goal of the tournament!

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Boston hotdogs with Bill Clinton Jun 16, 2021

France emerged victorious from the Group of Fun's first tussle, with Paul Pogba and co reminding everyone how much better they are than everyone else.

Marcus, Luke and Jim look over the teams that have impressed them now every country has played a match, while Andy joins us from Budapest where a raucous full stadium watched Cristiano Ronaldo take two steps closer to immortality.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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A rischickulous strike Jun 15, 2021

Vish joins Kate and Pete back in the studio after his trip to Hampden Park, where the unbelievable atmosphere was eventually flattened by Patrik Schick's 60-yard missile. Friday's match against the Auld Enemy should be just the tonic for the Scots.

Elsewhere, the Return of the Mak helped Slovakia to an unlikely win over Poland and Spain passed their way to a 0-0 draw with hotdog enthusiasts Sweden.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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You know what, Luka... Jun 14, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Pete grab some front row seats on the England hype train, as we ruthlessly put Croatia to our (quite blunt) sword.

After deserved praise for the likes of Kalvin Phillips and Raheem Sterling, we turn our attentions to the Goran Pandev fountain of youth and a right humdinger between Ukraine and the Netherlands.

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Much love, Christian Jun 13, 2021

Kate, Andy and Jim reflect on the harrowing events of yesterday involving Denmark’s Christian Eriksen and the truly commendable actions of the medical staff and players from both Denmark and Finland.

We also look over Wales’ performance that earned them an impressive point against Switzerland and Belgium’s ruthless dispatching of Russia, thanks to two more goals from Romelu Lukaku.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Who's Nessun Dorma? Jun 12, 2021

The Euros got underway last night, with those Italian suits too sharp for Turkey's wall of meat.

Jules, Andy and Jim revel in the return of international football on the first of our daily episodes across the group stage! As well as praising Italy, we wonder about the fortunes of Belgium's Golden Generation (who'd have one of those...) and try to temper both the worry and the excitement around England's meeting with Croatia on Sunday.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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The Preview Show: Euro 2020 has arrived! Jun 11, 2021

Grab your waistcoat and jump aboard the barge, everyone: the Euros have finally arrived! Marcus, Luke and Andy hit ten on the giddyometer on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We predict England's chances - with help from a psychic and Pete's supercomputer - give Scotland some love and celebrate the return of Wales' collection of vibesmen. The continental contenders get put through the mill too, as Frank de Boer takes a battering and we celebrate the return of the Italians and their glorious kit.

We'll be releasing even more shows throughout the Euros! Make sure you're subscribed to our feed in your podcast app so you don't miss a thing across the tournament!

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Bruno Lage's arrival, the Maurizio Sarri revival, and Super League survival Jun 10, 2021

Portugal's gradual takeover of English and European football continues apace, with Bruno Lage freshening things up at Wolves and Spurs in advanced talks with the man their former boss just replaced. Best of luck, Paulo Fonseca...

Kate, Andy and Jim also check in with the latest movers and shakers, as Lazio snag Maurizio Sarri and Chelsea are bidding for players already. Turns out those fines for joining the Super League are a drop in an otherwise enormous ocean.

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Gareth Southgate makes us proud, Florentino Pérez comes hat in hand, and Murderball on the streets of Leeds Jun 09, 2021

With just a few days before the Euros starts, Kate's optimism has reached fever pitch. Luke and Jim try their best to keep her feet on the ground, but Gareth Southgate's statesman-like conduct and Phil Foden's new hair are just more fuel on the raging fire.

International football's kept us warm in the meantime, as Olivier Giroud closes in on a record and Ireland draw in Hungary. Elsewhere, Marcelo Bielsa has been coaching a local U11's team and Florentino Pérez wants to rent Atlético's stadium - because he spent Real Madrid's entire fortune on David Alaba's contract.

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Big Dunc’s perfect match, Chris Smalling’s Area 51, and a very old debut Jun 08, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Pete convene to discuss some huge stories: why on earth did Big Dunc and Real Madrid fall through? Why have Valencia and DC Comics fallen out? And, of course, has Chris Smalling really seen a UFO?

We also attend to news of Thomas Tuchel’s new contract at Chelsea and some wicked whispers at Stamford Bridge, while there’s a very late Indian summer for one player in Serie D…

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Another convincing England performance, Scotland win again, and Arsenal’s transfer nous strikes again Jun 07, 2021

Romania are the latest to be put to England’s ruthless sword, with Jordan Henderson’s penalty miss intentionally throwing our rivals off the scent. Nice work, Quiz Boy.

Jules, Pete and Jim celebrate the inclusion of Ben White and yet another Scotland win. We also check in with the usual North London suspects, with Spurs wisely deciding against hiring Antonio Conte and Emi Buendia wisely deciding against signing for Arsenal.

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The Preview Show: Stephen Kenny finally gets a win, Lord Bendtner retires, and the Eagles Dare to re-sign Christian Benteke Jun 04, 2021

It took them twelve attempts, but Ireland finally have a win under Stephen Kenny! Kate, Luke and Pete get their open-top bus tour mapped out on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We also look ahead to England's last game before the Euros kick off, with Trent Alexander-Arnold ruled out of the tournament and the Romanian squad trapped in a late 1990s fever dream. There's even time for episode 27 of So You Want To Sign Wilfried Zaha and the sad news that Lord Bendtner has retired!

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England begin their march to glory, Scotland are up for it, and a late back-post header from Magna Carta Jun 03, 2021

England began their first of eight consecutive victories last night, with all the electrifying dynamism you'd expect from a pre-tournament friendly half-full of squad players. Marcus, Pete and Jim are here to dial up that Euros fever a bit further.

Scotland and Wales impressed in other friendlies, despite Memphis Depay and a 25th-minute red card spoiling their respective parties. We also wonder whether the new Spurs stadium could withstand the Antonio Conte-shaped storm on the horizon and former Newcastle defender Bradley Orr has been invoking Magna Carta - yep...

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Gareth’s barge finally sets sail, Carlo Ancelotti returns to the dark side, and San Marino own the narrative Jun 02, 2021

Well, here we are: Gareth Southgate has settled on his final squad for this summer’s Euros. Kate, Luke and Jim hop on board and set sail for Wembley, with the barge veering right almost immediately.

We also look over Carlo Ancelotti’s time at Everton, as The Uncle heads back to Real Madrid seemingly without warning, and we get the lowdown on the two biggest threats to England’s resplendent summer of glory: Croatia and San Marino.

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The Shrimps swim up to League One, Sergio Agüero heads to Barcelona, and another goalscoring legend hangs up the boots Jun 01, 2021

Morecambe round off the EFL play-off punch-up with an impressive win, meaning they’ll play in the third tier for the first time in their history! G’wan the Shrimps!

Jules, Luke and Vish also check in on two goalscoring legends, as Sergio Agüero joins Barcelona and Glenn Murray hangs up his weathered boots. We also snag some season tickets for our new favourite team over in Las Vegas - groovy!

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Chelsea take Champions League glory, euphoria for Brentford, and the Blackpool redemption May 31, 2021

Man City fell at the final hurdle and thus the Brassell prophecy is complete: Chelsea are champions of Europe, while Pep Guardiola is left frantically drawing up plans for a more sturdy 6-4-0 formation next season.

Marcus, Luke and Vish are to here tuck in to club football’s final tasty offerings as Brentford at long last break into the Premier League (and win Vish’s stony, cold heart) and Blackpool complete a truly remarkable turnaround. Join us!

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The Preview Show: The Champions League final is here, Sheffield United dial up the style, and Jamie Vardy on the silver screen May 28, 2021

Tactics friends turn tormented enemies this weekend, as Pep Guardiola and Thomas Tuchel lock nerdy horns in the Champions League final. Marcus, Vish and Pete look ahead to this continental clash on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We also get an important Jamie Vardy: The Movie update, with Hollywood's elite jostling for a position behind the camera. Elsewhere, Slaviša Jokanović's sexy football arrives at Sheffield United and Brentford take on Swansea City in the Play-off Final.

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Shootout scenes in the Europa League, Mauricio Pochettino's potential return, the Antonio Conte Roadshow leaves town May 27, 2021

The stars aligned and put on their respective shirts, but Unai Emery - the World's Nicest Bond Villain™ - got his hands on a fourth Europa League trophy last night at Man United's expense.

Kate, Andy and Jim pore over 21 beautifully struck penalties and David de Gea's meagre effort, before revving up the managerial merry-go-round. That's right: Zizou and Antonio Conte have left town, Jürgen Klinsmann offers Spurs his services and Mauricio Pochettino may well return to the Promised Lilywhite Land. Dangerous, if you ask me...

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Gareth Southgate's overflowing barge, Sergio Agüero's lasting legacy, and are Brighton better than Real Madrid? May 26, 2021

Jules, Andy and Jim are down at the Wembley docks, waving off Gareth and his brave barge of 33 England warriors. We wonder who's a certainty for the starting XI and whose injuries or inexperience might drag them off the barge and into the chilly waters below.

We also look back on Sergio Agüero's unbelievable legacy and what he'll mean to Premier League fans in years to come, while Jules insists that Spain's Euros squad proves that Brighton are indeed superior to Real Madrid.

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Our first batch of predictions, a Real Madrid spring clean, and Cristiano’s Miami holiday May 25, 2021

The end of the Premier League season can only mean one thing here at Ramble HQ: it’s predictions time! We see which of Marcus, Jim and Pete had a terrible time (spoiler: they all did).

We also wonder what’s next for Nuno Espírito Santo and Wolves after their amicable split, while Real Madrid are looking to offload 12 players, Zinedine Zidane, the new stadium and their “Super League Winners 2022/23” t-shirts to somehow fund a Kylian Mbappé purchase.

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Chelsea's raspberry ripple tipple, Leicester's disappointment, and four more years for Joe Willock May 24, 2021

Far be it from us to hype up an England prospect now the Premier League has finished, but... Joe Willock?

Marcus, Pete and Vish race through the big stories from the final weekend of the season, with Leicester missing out on the top four and West Ham whipping their passports out for the lads. Elsewhere, the chickens came home to roost for Barcelona and Chelsea, as Luis Suárez and a 99 Flake with raspberry sauce wreaked revenge respectively.

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The Preview Show: The Champions League chasers, avoiding the Europa Conference League, and West Ham's Romanian curse May 21, 2021

Well, we've made it: it's the final weekend of the Premier League season! Marcus, Andy and Luke give you the runners and riders in the race to qualify for the Champions League - and avoid the Conference League - on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Scores need to be settled elsewhere too, with Mo Salah vs Harry Kane the undercard for Luke Moore vs Salty Sam Allardyce. We also check in with the great Ronaldo, whose tell-all documentary arrives just in time for Real Valladolid's fan discontent and probable relegation.

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Sam Allardyce slinks off, Arsenal spoil Roy's party, and the topsy-turvy Top Four May 20, 2021

Blink and you'll miss him, ladies and gents: five minutes after West Brom's relegation and Sam Allardyce has said he won't be back next season. Jules, Andy and Jim brace themselves for egotistical tell-alls and some Euro 2020 punditry.

Elsewhere, the European royal rumble continues as sides desperately try to finish either fourth or ninth, nowhere in between. We also tentatively praise a surprisingly ruthless Arsenal as they ruin Roy Hodgson's big day and we reach the zenith of the 'outfield players in goal' genre.

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Chelsea win the rematch, the Seagulls nick Pep's chips, and a standing ovation for Roy the Boy May 19, 2021

Thomas Tracksuit Tuchel got his revenge on Leicester with a seismic win in the race for next season's Champions League. That being said, Kelechi Iheanacho completed a perfect goalscoring week with a game to spare, which is indeed the real quiz.

Marcus, Vish and Pete also celebrate the return of fans, with Brighton snatching a great win from under Pep Guardiola's massive cigar and Edinson Cavani dispatching an absolute beauty against Fulham. There's even time to toast the imminent departure of Roy the Boy Hodgson and the return of Karim Benzema, whose thirty domestic goals and iced out Rolex helped him earn another France call-up.

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The Championship play-offs are here, a fitting football tribute, and where next for Harry Kane? May 18, 2021

Vish and Pete are here to rate Harry Kane's prospective suitors after news of his desire to leave Spurs emerged yesterday, while Kate stares into the middle distance and wonders what's the point of it all.

Elsewhere, it's advantage Bournemouth and Swansea City in the Championship play-off semi-finals after delicious goals put the Final in touching distance. There's also a fitting tribute for former QPR youth-teamer Kiyan Prince and the breaking news that football club owners are indeed wealthy.

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Leicester cross the verge, Alisson bags a magnificent header, and Barcelona smash Chelsea's UCWL hopes May 17, 2021

A cracking weekend of football meant a Steve Bruce attacking masterclass has been pushed alarming far down today's running order. Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to try and squeeze it into a packed ol' Ramble!

Brother Brendy emerged triumphant from a ridiculously tense FA Cup final, with Kasper Schmeichel and Youri Tielemans providing the moments of magic. Elsewhere, Chelsea were blown away by some vintage Barca brilliance in the Women's Champions League final and Alisson grabbed a last-minute winner for Liverpool!

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The Preview Show: Liverpool prise open the door, Brucey's summer holiday plans, and the FA Cup final is here! May 14, 2021

Marcus, Vish and Luke arrive with a load of suggestions to help Ole Gunnar Solskjær tighten up United's defence: keep an eye on Fred, mark Thanos at the back post, etc. All that and a load more on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Elsewhere in dreamland, Leicester will be hoping to make history and snatch the FA Cup trophy from the desperate clutches of Chelsea's Kepa Arrizabalaga, who's been at Wembley since Tuesday. We also hear what Steve Bruce has planned for the holidays and Pep Guardiola looks to improve the classic British night out. Shameful.

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Arsenal desperately scramble, Palace’s Lampard gamble, and Rangers’ unbeaten ramble May 13, 2021

Arsenal scored what might be the most chaotically awful goal of the season to keep their Europa Conference League fire flickering. Jules, Luke and Andy pour scorn over that blaze after some bizarre comments from Mikel Arteta in the post-match.

There’s plenty of time for other nonsense elsewhere, as Plymouth’s vaccination queues inadvertently snake towards Argyle’s club shop and Sir Alex Ferguson gives Steven Gerrard some valuable advice. In relocation news, the Champions League final’s off to Porto and there’s murmurs of Frank Lampard arriving late into the Selhurst Park box, slotting his CV in the net.

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Manchester City achieve greatness, Leicester reach for Europe, and we batter some stanchion owls May 12, 2021

Do you remember when Man City were languishing in 13th and we all thought Pep Guardiola had lost it? Kate, Jim and Andy let off some indoor fireworks to celebrate their remarkable title win.

Leicester's stanchion-loving Luke Thomas sealed the deal for City, with his goal helping the Foxes towards next season's Champions League. We also give owls some more deserved stick, get a Derby County update and try to find an obscure Roy Hodgson film - mainly so he can watch it himself.

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Fulham drop back down, Edinson Cavani goes round again, and we buy a football club May 11, 2021

All their pretty passing and Scott Parker’s svelte knitwear couldn’t keep Fulham in the league, unfortunately. Marcus, Pete and Vish are here to pick through the gently flickering embers from this extremely prolonged car crash.

Speaking of svelte, Edinson Cavani has booked another year on Ole’s Fun Bus – which is now protected by 35-foot concrete walls and Navy SEAL patrols outside Old Trafford. There’s also some big Football Ramble acquisition news, as we look set to manage Tranmere Rovers and take control of Salernitana, ahead of their return to Serie A.

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The fall of Big Sam, Chelsea put Man City’s party on hold, and Wayne’s Film Club May 10, 2021

That’s a wrap on the English Football League, as Wayne Rooney slips into a warm bubble bath in front of Sister Act II and Florentino Perez makes a tantalising offer to endlessly yo-yoing Rotherham. Kate, Jim and Pete are here to look back on a dramatic weekend!

Big Sam furiously edits his CV after West Brom slip through the trapdoor, while Thomas Tuchel outmanoeuvres Pep Guardiola’s indecipherable formation. Plus, Neil Ruddock in the Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championships.

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The Preview Show: Arsenal vanish without a trace, Ole Gunnar Solskjær serves some humble pie, and Tottenham's Lasanniversary May 07, 2021

Kate, Luke and Pete celebrate a momentous anniversary on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. Fifteen years ago today, Spurs ate that lasagne! Ah, good times.

Back in the present, Arsenal suffer an embarrassing knockout at the hands of Unai Emery and Edinson Cavani dragged his Man United teammates to their first final under Ole Gunnar Solskjær. Marcelo Bielsa also needs some new glasses, while the "dark forces" around Newcastle United finally get removed – though Mike Ashley does still own them.

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Eden’s Hazardous return, the Geordie Nation’s saviour, and how to run an A-League team May 06, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to help smuggle Eden Hazard out of Stamford Bridge under a big jacket, such is the furore that awaits him back in Madrid after Chelsea swept aside a threadbare Real Madrid. They’re coming for you, Eden.

Elsewhere, we revel in the glorious rumours linking famed basket case Gennaro Gattuso to famed basket case Newcastle United, get a Mario Balotelli update and wonder whether the Premier League can secure a European finals full house.

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Man City take the next step, José Mourinho’s Roman redemption, and battering drones to death May 05, 2021

PSG just about had enough men left on the pitch to see out the end of a seismic defeat to Man City last night, with Phil Foden's uncanny Lionel Messi impersonation particularly enjoyable.

Kate, Luke and Vish also assume that Rome won’t be rebuilt in a day, especially with José Mourinho at the helm of AS Roma next season, and we prepare for a relegation humdinger in the Championship. We also give some deserved time to egg coin tosses, destroying opposition fans’ drones and Madrid’s electoral processes - join us!

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Mike Dean saves the day, David Moyes packs the suntan lotion, and looking back on the social media boycott May 04, 2021

Big Sam spent all of last night's draw with Wolves just settling scores - first with his careers advisor, then with Sammy Lee after he shook himself dry like a dog. Jules, Vish and Jim are here to paint the bus for the Greatest Escape celebration™️.

Elsewhere, West Ham dream of continental crusades after Michail Antonio's goals put them a step closer to the Europa League. We also look back over the weekend's social media boycott and ask if these good intentions will lead to meaningful, impactful outcomes.

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Protests at Old Trafford, Gareth Bale’s Hotspur hat-trick, and absolute carnage in the EFL May 03, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Andy are here to answer the important questions around the protests that postponed Man United vs Liverpool: what does this mean for the Glazers? Will we see this across the Top Six? Why did nobody bring a ball?

Some matches did take place elsewhere, as Kai Havertz’s knocked one of Fulham’s feet into the grave and Sergio Agüero reminded us all what we’ll soon be missing. We also take stock of some chaos across the EFL, as Peterborough United secure an outrageous promotion and Southend United drop out for the first time in a century. Oh, and Phil Neville says the interview for the Inter Miami job was tricky - make of that what you will…

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The Preview Show: A throwback Manchester United performance, Fulham cling on, and a bad ebening for Arsenal Apr 30, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Andy head straight for the studio after catching last night's encore from Now That's What I Call Man United '99. We take stock of their win and Arsenal's lucky escape on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We also look ahead to some Premier League humdingers, as Fulham desperately search for a lifeline - while Newcastle stroll off into the sunset - and Liverpool rummage for some goals down the back of the sofa.

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Champions League romance, football's social media boycott, and are owls stupid? Apr 29, 2021

PSG and Man City served up a cracking game in last night’s Champions League that has Kate, Jim and Andy in footballing soft power purgatory over which horse they're backing.

We also get an update on the movers looking to shake Arsenal from the hands of the Kroenke's and, with football’s biggest names set to boycott social media this weekend, we look at how these calls for action can no longer fall on disinterested ears.

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A Spanish slip n’ slide, Joey Barton’s doctored CV, and more Pompey things Apr 28, 2021

Chelsea put one cultured boot in the Champions League final after an impressive performance in a Madrid monsoon, despite more wayward finishing from Timo Werner. Jim has had to pull himself and a suspected broken rib out of Regent’s Canal to join Jules and Vish to get stuck into it all!

Elsewhere, Joey Barton confirms he’s just going to ignore Bristol Rovers’ confirmed relegation and Portsmouth found a spectacularly on-brand way to sabotage their promotion hopes. We also assess some sausage roll-related banning orders and Jim takes the reins for another round of Play Your Pards Right!

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Kelechi Iheanacho bags another, Arsenal’s benevolent billionaires, and Spurs’ next coach Apr 27, 2021

Death, taxes and Kelechi Iheanacho netting in 2021: only one of those gives us that tingly feeling. Marcus, Pete and Vish jump on Leicester’s wholesome hype train, calling at all stations to the 2021/22 Champions League.

We also concern ourselves with Arsenal’s new altruistic suitors, who include a tech billionaire and an Invicibles tribute act. Elsewhere, Spurs’ prime targets opts for Bayern Munich and Eric Cantona kung fu kicks for Hall of Fame glory.

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Man City horde another cup, Wolves baffle, and the Watford fairytale continues Apr 26, 2021

Despite an onslaught of passes along the backline from Spurs, Man City lift their first trophy of the season with consummate, bloody ruthless ease. Kate, Pete and Luke convene to reflect on the game and the return of those pesky inconveniences known as ‘legacy fans’.

We also pick over some weird results in the Premier League, as Burnley run riot at Molineux and Joe Willock strikes again for Newcastle.

Elsewhere, Pete gets angry about Carabao pantones, a referee in Spain puts in a stellar display, and heartwarming underdogs Watford confirm their return to the Premier League! Join us!

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The Preview Show: Allardyce is on the run, Arsenal nail the PR, and the Milk Cup final Apr 23, 2021

Kate, Jim and Luke are here for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We’re still reeling after a seismic week in football – and now Sam Allardyce is on the verge of relegation. For the first time, of course. Have a bit of respect.

As Arsenal and Man United suffer push back over the Super League, Spurs prepare for a cup final against Man City with their 29-year-old manager in charge – which can only go well. Plus, Schalke fans egg their team and we ask whether we have been awake longer than the Super League was in existence. Join us!

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Ryan Mason gets his first win, some spicy Phil Foden sauce, and more Florentino Perez madness Apr 22, 2021

After a half shaking off the José Mourinho hoodoo, Ryan Mason’s Spurs managed to overturn a halftime league deficit for the first time this season - it's as easy as that!

Jules, Luke and Andy assess what Spurs' win means for a stuttering Ralph Hasenhüttl, before heaping deserved praise on Nice Humble Lads™️ Phil Foden and Rodri after yet another Man City victory. We also hear more thoughts on the failed European Super League and the Champions League’s new format.

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The ESL battle is won, but the war for football is not over Apr 21, 2021

What were we all worried about?! The European Super League is written off just 48 hours after it began, with the English clubs offering all the remorse of a captured Bond villain. Daft little tournament, silly owners, etc…

Marcus, Vish and Pete are here to celebrate the fans’ victory, but stress the need for further action in a bid to improve football for everyone – not just the elite. We also bid farewell to Ed Woodward, praise the actions of Jordan Henderson and Pep Guardiola and try to work out where the game goes from here. Oh, and rumours are already linking José Mourinho to the Celtic job, so there’s that.

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James Milner preaches the truth, exit José Mourinho, and Fizzer gets off to a flyer Apr 20, 2021

Take the positives, at least the fans of the future will enjoy watching a 60 second shootout in the European Super Duper Bigwigs League. Marcus, Pete and Andy reflect on the whole maelstrom and bring you up to speed with the latest toppings on this colossal turd cake.

Meanwhile, José Mourinho asks to be left alone, a game of football was played, and Fizzer is undone by a former Man United star in Miami.

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The Football Shamble Apr 19, 2021

Kate, Jim and Vish are here, weary-eyed and wounded, to pick through the smouldering wreckage left by the announcement of the European Super League. Twelve clubs, six English sides, four billion dollars and not a single fan consulted.

We then catch the crest of the next breaking news wave, as José Mourinho gets sacked by Tottenham a week before their inevitable Carabao Cup triumph. We also catch up on some actual football from the weekend, as the FA Cup finalists were decided and Sheffield United were finally relegated from the Premier League.

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The Preview Show: The Gunners respect the cannon, some bizarre Man United camouflage, and the FA Cup semi-finals Apr 16, 2021

Arsenal rolled out the cannons for another Europa League turkey shoot last night, with four karmic crackers sinking Slavia Prague. Marcus, Jim and Luke celebrate Arsenal and Man United's continental crusades on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

The FA Cup returns this weekend, with Brother Brendy taking time away from the monastery to plot another Southampton spanking and Thomas Tuchel locking nerdy horns with Pep Guardiola. We also bring updates on the futures of Jesse Lingard, Edinson Cavani and Dulux's Twitter admin.

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Man City break the curse, Liverpool bow out, and Dulux digs Apr 15, 2021

Marcus, Pete and Vish react to another dramatic night in the Champions League – and a dramatic morning for Spurs’ social media team.

We just about convince Pete to talk about the Champions League, as Pep Guardiola breaks his Man City duck and gives Phil Foden a snog. We also try to make sense of the latest developments on that Newcastle take over (not the Michael Chopra one, shame) and today’s deviant quizmaster brings the most challenging Play Your Pards Right yet.

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PSG get their revenge, Chelsea set their sights on the trophy, and chess moves in the Mike Ashley empire Apr 14, 2021

PSG will rate their Champions League chances after Bayern only managed a solitary goal last night. Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to remind you that goalscorer Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting once played for Stoke - join us!

Elsewhere, Porto’s muggy little bicycle kick ended up being the only fly in Edouard Mendy’s ointment and Mesut Özil has resorted to buying his own club so he can then play himself. We also celebrate a momentous anniversary for Newcastle United and Emmanuel Frimpong’s reputation continues to precede him.

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Big Sam scales the prison wall, another Brighton stalemate, and football’s social media boycott Apr 13, 2021

Cue the Mission Impossible theme tune and unwind the heavy-duty cables, because Big Sam’s Great Escape™️ is on! Jules, Vish and Pete are puzzled by their recent goalscoring form, after another win for the Baggies.

We also chat about yet another 0-0 draw for Brighton, hear tales from Vish’s first lads holiday and wonder whether a social media boycott will help in football’s ongoing fight against online abuse.

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West Ham’s European ferry, Pep Guardiola predicting the future, and feeding the Premier League children Apr 12, 2021

Kate, Luke and Jim settle in after another round of barnstorming Barclays, with seismic results at both ends of the table.

José Mourinho and Ole Gunnar Solskjær argued over who should get fed after VAR stuck its unruly nose in, only for it to get switched off when Sean Longstaff got booted in the chin at Burnley. Elsewhere, Pep Guardiola celebrated his defeat to Sensei Bielsa, the Ferryman sails for European shores and we have a new contender for the Death of Football derby.

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The Preview Show: Man United streak ahead, Marcelo Bielsa’s charm offensive, and our new show! Apr 09, 2021

Two inevitabilities reared their predictable heads in last night’s Europa League action, as Bruno Fernandes bagged another penalty and Arsenal couldn’t defend a 1-0 lead. Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to predict their Premier League fortunes on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Pep Guardiola and Marcelo Bielsa shared some love before they come to tactical blows on Saturday, while Gareth Bale has been picking out UFOs across the Tottenham skyline. We also rate Jürgen Klopp’s latest office decorations, play out a vintage edition of Luke’s Game and announce our brand new show to celebrate the upcoming Euros! Vindaloo, vindaloo…

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Mason Mount delights, Kylian Mbappé conquers, and Mike Ashley is courted again Apr 08, 2021

Mason Mount was great and all that, but it's Big Sam who deserves the real credit. Jules, Pete and Andy react to last night’s action as Chelsea strike first in the Champions League against Porto.

Elsewhere, Eric Chopper-Motor and co were outdone by PSG and Kylian Mbappé - who looks like a decent prospect. Meanwhile, Newcastle and Mike Ashley are chatted up by yet another suitor and Derby’s prospective owner makes some frankly outrageous claims about his boxing career. And speaking of outrageous: Portmantonio Conte is back.

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Real Madrid punish Liverpool, Jude Bellingham dazzles, and Norwich nail the topics Apr 07, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Vish look back on some dramatic happenings last night, where Real Madrid beat Liverpool on PES and Jude Bellingham stole our hearts.

We hail Toni Kroos, who is probably still playing triangles now, and consider Erling Haaland’s visit to the Etihad, where he appears to have been duped into signing for them on £5k per week.

Also, Norwich are edging back towards the Premier League like a peak Daniel Farke dancing his way over to you in a nightclub and Harry Redknapp has given Eddie Howe’s move to Celtic his stamp of approval. Join us!

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David Moyes dampens the dream, Roy Hodgson hits back, and Neil Warnock’s trip to the seaside Apr 06, 2021

No matter how much vibes Jesse Lingard keeps bringing to West Ham’s Champions League chase, the Ferryman seems keen to slam the breaks on. Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to fast-track JLingz onto Sir Gareth’s barge.

Elsewhere, some Roy Hodgson digs fuelled a Michy Batshuayi equaliser at Everton and we get stuck into a host of EFL action. There’s even time for Neil Warnock’s summer holiday plans, Uri Geller magical movements and the trickiest round of Play Your Pards Right to date – join us!

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Joelinton is arisen, West Brom run riot, and Arsenal get a schooling Apr 05, 2021

Newcastle turned in a respectable performance, but they’ve still got Big Sam’s sickly breath on their necks. Yum. Kate, Pete and Jim react to a weekend full of goals as the relegation tussle goes on!

While West Brom dismantled Chelsea like they were 1970's Brazil, Scott Parker went back to the watering hole and Mike Ashley prepared to sell Newcastle as a non-fungible token. Elsewhere, Arsenal desperately turned to long ball tactics in the face of Alisson’s powerful moustache and Real Sociedad’s manager put on the best press conference we have ever seen.

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The Preview Show: The Brendan Rodgers parade returns, a Sam Allardyce ultimatum, and Fort William’s triumph Apr 02, 2021

Crack open today’s Ramble Easter egg and join Marcus, Luke and Jim for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Premier League football is back – which means Brendan Rodgers is back, okee? Marcus joins Luiz Felipe Scolari at the head of the Rodgers parade, while Leicester’s opponents Man City have other concerns as their dirty war with their city rivals goes on.

Elsewhere, Sam Allardyce dishes out an ultimatum while Sammy Lee dishes out the treats, and Spurs travel to Newcastle for the Mole-Off. If José Mourinho has finished penning love letters to Sharon Warnock, that is. Plus, a Fort William update and a very pleasant Home Counties derby.

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Beautiful jammy England, Germany’s nightmare, and saucy trims Apr 01, 2021

Vindaloo! Vindaloo! Never in doubt. Jules, Pete and Andy are here to assess just how beyond doubt England’s convincing 2-1 pummelling of Poland was last night.

Elsewhere, we discuss Germany’s astonishing defeat to North Macedonia (*rubs hands*) and Goran Pandev’s bald patch. But while Joachim Löw’s nostrils were filled with the stench of defeat, Spain coach Luis Enrique frankly didn’t know what was going on after he got trapped in a lift.

Plus, Luiz Felipe Scolari has finally got to the bottom of why he was sacked at Chelsea, while Ole Gunnar Solskjaer may have shown why he will almost definitely be sacked in the future. Join us!

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Dan James rises high, Sean Dyche plumbs new lows, and José’s Mourinistas Mar 31, 2021

You didn’t need to add any more spice to Wales’ clash with the Czech Republic last night, but we’re bringing it anyway. Kate, Luke, and Vish look back on an enjoyable gamut of Steven Taylor dives, thrashings, and a trademark towering header from Dan James. Bless him.

We also discuss José Mourinho’s latest war against the world backed up by his army of loyal supports, while Sean Dyche and Neil Warnock have been finding new ways to relax before games, including the most Partridge thing you will ever hear. Join us!

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Sergio Agüero bows out, National League clubs make a stand, and misguided tattoos Mar 30, 2021

It’s official: Sergio Agüero will be leaving Manchester City at the end of the season after a truly illustrious decade at the club. Thankfully, there’s still plenty of time to negotiate a Christian Vieri-style contract with Barcelona to get the Twitch stream up and running.

Marcus, Andy and Pete hail Agüero, while there’s news that another Premier League legend won’t be going anywhere as Dwight Gayle continues his starring role in Office Space.

Elsewhere, Frank Lampard holds courts with England’s star-struck youngsters and we discuss the scandalous situation in the National League, which is tainting the otherwise glorious return of grassroots football. Plus, two titans go head-to-head in Portmantonio Conte.

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Harry Kane gets the job done, no offence to Luxembourg, and Pep's two-floor tactics prison Mar 29, 2021

Poland’s guard of honour is all but a formality. Marcus, Jim and Vish unpeel themselves from the ceiling after England’s latest drubbing.

Mason Mount continues his rise from teacher’s pet to England mainstay, while Harry Kane’s bloodlust is as strong as ever. We also check in with our Junior Brave Boys, who continue to flourish under Aidy Boothroyd's dazzling brand of football.

But it can always be worse: just ask Ireland. We discuss Stephen Kenny’s nigh-on-impossible task of filling the inimitable big Mick’s big shoes. There’s also oversized goalposts in Switzerland, disappearing refs, and Pep Guardiola staring at Ilkay Gundogan while he sleeps. All in a day’s work.

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The Preview Show: England sidle past San Marino, super John McGinn, and super bad Rio Keys Mar 26, 2021

We beat them in the World Cup qualifiers, but San Marino have got Flo Rida for Eurovision and that, ladies and gentlemen, is the real quiz. Kate, Luke and Andy look over last night’s international football on today’s edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We hail Brave Boy Ollie Watkins, who has not only made it to Wembley but made it out of Devon, while an old England favourite – Paul Gascoigne – catches our attention for very, very different reasons.

Elsewhere, Luke puts the boot in Aidy Boothroyd, we check in with Scotland and their new Cuban revolutionary, Che Adams, and Rio Ferdinand has a very reasonable proposal for Newcastle United fans.

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Wales bag a Belgian souvenir, Sepp Blatter's gravy train, and tantalising ham Mar 25, 2021

Wales went down 3-1 to the Belgians and Romelu Lukaku (aka the pawn in The José Mourinho Conspiracy), but at least they came away with one utterly sumptuous goal. Marcus, Andy and Jim are here to welcome the return of the World Cup qualifiers with open arms!

Elsewhere, Aleksandar Mitrović put his shooting boots on for the first time since the last international break, while the Czech Republic seem to be hitting a worrying peak ahead of their summer showdown with Gareth's Brave Boys. Plus, Pippo Inzaghi dusts off his Diadoras and André-Pierre Gignac is wooed with a big slab of ham. Join us!

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A watershed moment for the WSL, the world’s most expensive footballers, and naughty Gareth Bale coverage Mar 24, 2021

Jules, Luke and Vish kick things off with their reflections on the landmark TV deal for the Women’s Super League and its benefits for the English game. Vish also asks whether the change of broadcasters is all Jules’ fault.

Elsewhere, we discuss the heated coverage of Gareth Bale and whether he’s really been using Spurs as a glorified Peloton, and Jules and Vish somehow team up for Play Your Pards Right.

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José Mourinho takes on Generation Z, Xabi Alonso is set to return to Germany, and misplaced emails Mar 23, 2021

There’s more to football than just trophies: spirit. José Mourinho makes a brave new sales pitch, though Marcus, Jim and Pete are not convinced.

There are experts in the art of management everywhere you look on today’s show, as we explore how Sir Alex Ferguson mugged off Ruud van Nistelrooy and how Rafa Benitez has been keeping his mind sharp in lockdown, as well as Trinidad and Tobago manager Terry Fenwick’s unusual approach to dealing with the media. Translation: he’s been accused of head butting his own press officer.

Plus, amusing admin errors at the Cameroon FA and - finally! - there’s a breakthrough in Portmantonio Conte.

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Leicester end Man United’s hunt, West Ham slip up, and Newcastle fall flat on their faces Mar 22, 2021

Marcus, Pete and Vish take a long swig from the weekend’s cocktail of Premier League, FA Cup quarter-finals, and free-scoring goalkeepers.

Man United were terrorised by Kelechi ‘What Are You Looking For’ Iheanacho and Youri Tielemans as Brendy Rodgers marked his 100th game at the King Power in style. Elsewhere, Carlo Ancelotti strangely decided to conceal the opposition from his players as Man City hunt down an appointment with Joey Fatone.

Plus, Jesse Lingard shows his relative intelligence against Arsenal and Scott Parker dons a tweed jacket and hunting rifle to pursue Steve Bruce in the world’s most timid relegation scrap.

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Check out Andy's interview with Fulham midfielder André-Frank Zambo Anguissa on our Instagram here!

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The Preview Show: Spurs’ darkest hour, Gareth Southgate assembles his army, and Shearer dusts off his boots Mar 19, 2021

At least Joe Hart thought it was a job well done.

Marcus, Luke and Vish are here for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We pick through the wreckage of Spurs’ disastrous exit from the Europa League last night as Dinamo Zagreb discover a new version of the manager bounce and José Mourinho enters full self-defence mode.

We’re also itching to discuss the England squad, which features a couple of new faces, a very notable absentee, and an incredibly fortunate Eric Dier. Plus, we propose a new plan for Newcastle to solve their attacking woes, Rafael Benítez flirts with Salomón Rondón, and Matt Le Tissier cheers on his man on Marcus Mount.

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Chelsea munch Atlético, Messi AI, and FIFA’s underground lair Mar 18, 2021

Kate, Luke and Vish discuss last night’s action after Chelsea swatted aside what Joe Cole called “a top Championship side” (brave) as well as any common sense around VAR.

The heartwarming football news doesn’t stop there: Kinglsey Koman’s been fined for using the wrong supercar, while Lionel Messi has been turned into an AI message bot. Plus, Dinamo Zagreb Zoran Mamić nobly falls on his sword after being sentenced to five years in prison and Arsène Wenger has some dastardly plans straight out of Area 51.

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Man City’s striker-less swarm, Sergio Ramos leads Real through, and Steve Clarke’s square sausages Mar 17, 2021

Marcus, Pete, and Andy reflect on last night’s Champions League happenings as Man City activate their FIFA ’99 bug and Pep Guardiola takes a decisive lead in a pointless statistical battle.

We get more numbers from Opta’s Pete Donaldson, discuss Sergio Ramos’ tribute to Robbie Williams, and - oh yes - revel in the news that Alan Pardew is interested in the Pompey job. Plus, we premiere a listener’s jingle masterpiece.

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Liverpool’s dirty three points, tales from the Copa do Brasil, and more brave boys jump ship Mar 16, 2021

Disappearing ballboys and peeing refs: it’s the magic of the cup in Brazil.

Jules, Andy and Jim are here to run the rule over last night’s action, as Jürgen Klopp hailed a dirty win for Liverpool, James Milner broke pre-historic stats, and Leo Messi spun his silk in Spain.

Elsewhere, we check in with the England U21s as another prospect bails on Gareth and discuss the extreme lengths Edward Woodward has gone to to get a seat and a prawn sandwich at Wembley for the FA Cup final between Sheffield United and Bournemouth. Plus, Andy Brassell’s tales from Thailand. Join us!

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Arsenal’s time-benders beat Spurs, the Allardyce plot, and rascal celebrations Mar 15, 2021

Two teams with absolutely zero game management = a cracking North London derby. Marcus, Jim, and Pete get stuck into a veritable fry-up of football!

While José Mourinho lamented his big players ‘hiding’ and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang got stuck in traffic with the Home Alone cast, Erik Lamela was his usual chaotic self at the Emirates. Elsewhere, Kelechi Iheanacho had a lovely old time against Sheffield United, who are still reeling from the news of Sam Allardyce’s imminent arrival. That’s right, we’ve cracked the Allardici Code and uncovered his true plans for this season.

Plus, Sven crushes Marcus’ dreams, Roy Keane throws his hat in the ring for the Celtic job and we hail some truly rascal celebrations from the weekend’s action.

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The Preview Show: The Welsh Mafia take on Arsenal, the Moyesiah returns, and a wee Aberdeen update Mar 12, 2021

Arsenal provided a tantalising taste of the chaos to come this weekend last night. Marcus, Vish and Luke are here to put it under the spotlight - warts and all - on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We discuss Chris Wilder’s mooted exit - far from ideal preparation for facing a pizza-fuelled, pint-filled Jamie Vardy on Sunday. We also look forward to West Ham’s visit to Old Trafford and Vish’s dust-up with Declan Rice – though, in any event, Man United fans will surely be comforted by the news of Avram Glazer’s latest business move.

And we go north of the border for huge developments at Aberdeen and for some reason check in with Ken Bates.

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Liverpool get back on the horse, Man United launch their Jurassic Park lab, and Gattuso’s fork attacks Mar 11, 2021

Liverpool slipped into their comfy old Champions League jumper last night, but Julian Nagelsmann's get-up was sadly very ordinary. Marcus, Andy and Vish are in situ today to digest it all!

We check in at the Parc de Princes too, where Lionel Messi was doing some violent things to a football and Poch Spice was showing some 'little videos'. Hm.

Plus, José Mourinho has some very special plans to treat General Levy to 20 years at Spurs AND massage his ego in one fell swoop, while Man United prepare DNA experiments on Darren Fletcher.

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Some rip-roaring Champions League, a year without fans, and the Mark Noble farewell tour Mar 10, 2021

Father Time’s shadow looms over us all on today’s episode of the Ramble, as Cristiano Ronaldo’s quest for glory stuttered once more and Erling Haaland gleefully smashed more records and more opposition defenders.

Kate, Andy and Luke look back over last night's Champions League and reflect on the past year of football, with fake crowd noise and bubbles replacing molten pies and unfit linesmen. We also raise a glass to Hammers legend Mark Noble who will hang up the torn, weathered Copa Mundials next season.

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West Ham keep cruising, Agnelli’s dark Champions League fantasies, and Fizzer’s Miami vices Mar 09, 2021

Football - aka Gianni Infantino’s tasty gobstopper - stops for no one. Especially Pete and Jim, who are back in the studio with Kate to talk Chelsea and West Ham’s latest scalps!

On the way, we discuss why Leeds are tapping up LL Cool J and what is being claimed to be one of the worst games of football ever played in the Bundesliga. Mustafi was involved, shock.

There’s also time for the world’s most cryptic round of Portmantonio Conte, whose villainous administrators can only be rivalled by Andrea Agnelli and his insidious plans for the Champions League.

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United edge out City, Rangers clinch the title, and Michael Owen’s careless whispers Mar 08, 2021

Jules, Jim and Pete tuck in to another spicy serving of Barclays action, as the relegation zone casts increasingly dark shadows over Newcastle, West Brom and Brighton.

Ole Gunnar Solskjær continued his march towards “yeah, he’s decent” status with another win over Pep Guardiola, while Gareth Bale’s sexy man bun propelled him and Spurs to new heights (sixth). Elsewhere, Michael Owen and Neil Warnock have listened to the devils on their respective shoulders, Liverpool lost again and Steven Gerrard slides through some ale on his way to a historic Scottish Premiership title.

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The Preview Show: Thomas Tuchel uses Frank’s foundations, argy bargy at Newcastle, and a Carlisle Christmas Mar 05, 2021

Welcome to The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Thomas Too-cold pulled it out of the bag again last night, but Marcus, Luke and Andy follow Ashley Cole’s lead and remember to thank Frank’s foundations.

We check in with the chaos at Newcastle, as Steve Bruce takes an interesting approach to diplomacy and Jonj’s Stockholm syndrome worsens. Elsewhere, we look ahead to Full Force Fulham’s visit to Anfield after Marcus just about unpeels himself from the floor and - of course - rub our thighs in anticipation of another goalless draw in Manchester. But at least Pep is having a lovely old time in Shakespeare’s country.

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Sheffield United surpass Derby, Man United’s mist opportunity, and Jamaica are coming for you Mar 04, 2021

Kate, Andy and Pete are here to look back on a momentous night for Sheffield United and a very, very boozy one for Chris Wilder.

There sadly won’t be the same jubilant scenes in Ghana, as we check in with the church of Paul McGrath. Meanwhile, Crystal Palace vs Man United was so bad even Mother Nature tried to conceal it from our eyes.

We also discuss Jamaica’s incredible swoop for talent, while in advertising news, Rangers turn to bitcoin and there’s a turmeric up for the books at Swansea. There will be fewer puns on the show, promise.

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Wolverhampton Possums struggle, Chris Sutton’s help for referees, and TikTok tactics Mar 03, 2021

Pep Guardiola’s team-branded outerwear has kept him warm throughout Man City’s victorious charge through England’s wintery “hell” – and last night they won again, obviously.

Kate, Vish and Jim are here to ask why Wolves didn’t simply play dead and hoped to come away with a draw, before sounding the Dwight Gayle alarm over at Newcastle. We also get into Chris Sutton’s plans to save refereeing, some delightful digs from Victor Moses and Antonio Conte taking his tactics board to Instagram. Bizarre!

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Southampton draw another blank, Barcelona spice, and Mr Blobby bids for 2030 Mar 02, 2021

JWP’s not firing, Southampton need KWP back, and DCL wreaks some havoc. Jules, Luke and Pete cast their eyes over some airport codes and another drab display for the Saints.

Thankfully, Barcelona brought plenty of spice yesterday, as some club VIPs have reportedly been arrested for paying a company to disparage current and former players online. Més que un club ’n all that.

We also check in with the Paul Lambert horror movie and muse on who could front the UK and Ireland’s bid for the 2030 World Cup.

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Arsenal turn the boat around, Gareth Bale’s redemption, and a sly Big Sam grin Mar 01, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Vish are here with just enough time to bid Sam Allardyce farewell, seeing as West Brom will need to sack him before registering another home league win. Sorry, Big Sam, them’s the stats.

Elsewhere, we got a nostalgic reminder of safer times across the rest of the weekend’s action, with both Willian and Gareth Bale looking more like their old selves. Then, Man City reminded us of their previous recent selves with yet another win, and we hear from a listener who is related to Portuguese football royalty! Vai!

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The Preview Show: Liverpool search for a spark, a rejuvenated Alan Pardew, and Mino Raiola’s charm offensive Feb 26, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Andy settle in after the Europa League’s usual mix of the good, bad and ugly to look ahead to some tasty Premier League ties. Join us for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Ahead of a tricky test at Chelsea on Sunday, Man United gave some young players more minutes last night – the rest of the academy went to Lee Sharpe’s for a 2000-person BBQ. Liverpool and West Brom desperately need a win from their respective matches, though Big Sam thinks he’ll just coast into another job soon enough. And speaking of coasting, Alan Pardew has opened up about swapping relegation battles for royal rumbles over at CSKA Sofia.

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Dele recycles the bicycle, Pep’s sparkly cape, and the art of Mike Ashley’s deal Feb 25, 2021

As it turned out, the main sparkle in Man City’s autonomous win over Borussia Mönchengladbach could be found on the sidelines. Kate, Luke and Pete are here to give Pep Guardiola’s ghastly jacket the kicking it truly deserves.

Spurs also continued their leisurely stroll into the last sixteen of the Europa League with another win over Wolfsberger – even Dele Alli and Gareth Bale scored some nice ones! Elsewhere, we look into some sickening details behind the ongoing construction of the 2022 World Cup in Qatar and get the inside scoop on Mike Ashley’s boardroom battles.

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Another Olivier Giroud beauty, Southampton continue to struggle, and yet more football documentaries Feb 24, 2021

Despite VAR’s best efforts, parkour enthusiast Olivier Giroud took a break from his modelling to score an absolute worldie in last night’s Champions League. Kate, Jim and Andy are here to revel in the beauty of the man and his goal.

Elsewhere, we rue Jamail Musiala’s decision to represent Germany rather than our brave boys - when have those serial winners ever even won anything? We also check out Everton’s new waterfront home and pick through the swathes of football documentaries coming to screens (and Andy’s nightmares) very soon.

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Roy Hodgson the robber, Zlatan's longest summer, and Joey Barton’s army Feb 23, 2021

Like a wise old panther used to a heist or two, Roy the Boy comes away from the Amex with all three points. Vish and Pete have the unenviable task of trying to restrain Jules on today’s Ramble!

We look back at the smouldering wreckage last night but also look ahead to better times: being together in the summer, sharing in England’s latest catastrophe and listening to Zlatan Ibrahimović’s concert while our eardrums bleed. Lovely. Elsewhere, we check in with Sunderland’s new infant owner and some concerning developments in Bristol where Barton is mobilising an army…

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A momentous Merseyside victory, West Ham dance on, and the Liberal Lefties' Great Escape Feb 22, 2021

It seems Duncan Ferguson’s chaotic Ying and Carlo Ancelotti’s ice-cool Yang is the perfect recipe for a historic derby win for Everton. What a result for the Toffees!

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here with more news from the Barclays, as Man City win again and Fulham are snapping at Newcastle’s heels. Elsewhere, Jesse Lingard’s relentless vibes keep the West Ham party going, Ryan Shawcross swaps Stoke for Miami and Bristol is braced for a brutal war between Nigel Pearson and Joey Barton. Ouch.

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The Preview Show: Spurs unzip their pockets, the target on Jordan Pickford’s gloves, and football’s most outrageous ban Feb 19, 2021

After a quick whip around the remaining European action, we look ahead to a proper spicy weekend of Premier League football on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Marcus, Vish and Luke wonder whether The Punisher (Gareth Bale) will start against West Ham, as cool cat José Mourinho has started hanging out with the youngsters. Elsewhere, Jurgen Klopp has been stoking the fires ahead of the Merseyside derby, Arsenal dive for cover from another Man City missile and we hear the glorious tale of Europe’s answer to fake footballer extraordinaire, Carlos Kaiser. Join us!

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Man City do their parents proud, Fulham run into a strong jaw, and van Gaal defends his honour Feb 18, 2021

Like an Ehantharajah PE lesson, everyone’s abandoned the title race and pitched up in the beer garden.

Marcus, Andy and Vish react to Man City’s latest cruel display, which had our favourite football tactics pervert purring over Bernardo Silva. Elsewhere, Fulham’s optimism was ground down at Burnley and we take a closer look at how Dyche deals with snakes in the dressing room (it’s absolutely brutal).

There’s also news of the former Juventus defender who has reportedly been arrested for a very unique post-retirement activity. And speaking of retirement, Louis van Gaal has vigorously defended his honour in a very strongly-worded email. Probably a bit late for that, mate.

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Liverpool get back to their roots, a marvellous Kylian Mbappé hat-trick, and Norwich City dial into the matrix Feb 17, 2021

A lads’ trip to Budapest looks to have done the trick for Liverpool’s knackered squad, as they swept aside RB Leipzig and a peculiarly underdressed Julian Nagelsmann last night. Kate, Luke and Pete are here to settle back into that comfy armchair on today’s episode of the Ramble - join us!

We also marvel at the imperious Kylian Mbappé, whose classy hat-trick left the Barcelona defence berating each other and Ronald Koeman scratching his weary head. We also wonder how social media companies can dutifully protect footballers after James McClean’s recent comments and look into Norwich City’s latest purchase: the SoccerBot360. It’s basically Fifa ’98 on a fence.

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It’s Timo time, David Moyes tickles our fancy, and National League chaos Feb 16, 2021

Steve Bruce insisted that nothing about Newcastle’s approach would change without Callum Wilson – and seeing how they underwhelmed and lost handsomely, perhaps he’s right…

Jules, Jim and Andy are here after Chelsea’s clock finally struck Timo Time and David Moyes cast out those poor Sheffield United souls, thus making them available for his next doomed voyage. Elsewhere, there’s chaos in the National League, a recent Chester FC Zoom chat took a saucy turn and the Champions League is back! Though Neymar, predictably, is not.

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Man City pummel Spurs, Liverpool get a karate kick in the teeth, and Keggy turns 70 Feb 15, 2021

Like wee Willie Johnston, Man City have got their foot on the Premier League’s windpipe and they’re not taking it off.

Kate, Jim and Pete cast their eyes over an incredibly aesthetically appeasing weekend of football, ruined only by Fernandes’ dirty little shinned volley.

Elsewhere, Alisson meets his new teammate, Kevin Keegan blows out the candles and Martin Tyler comes up with his own breathy rendition of Chocolate Rain.

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The Preview Show: Chelsea get the job done, Spurs enter the lions’ den, and Jamie Vardy returns Feb 12, 2021

With the latest round of FA Cup fixtures sorted, we turn our attention to this weekend’s Premier League action on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Marcus, Luke and Jim wonder if Spurs will have some commemorative lanyards made should they get a result against Man City. We’ll also see the long-awaited rematch between Ezgjan Alioski and Nicolas Pépé at the Emirates - a game which the polite hosts will almost certainly lose - before the Prodigal Son returns home. That’s right, Brendy Rodgers is heading back to Anfield with a gleeful Jamie Vardy in tow!

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King Carlo’s still got it, Man City march relentlessly on, and Brighton get frozen out Feb 11, 2021

One night there’s none of that Cup Magic™️, the next we’re swimming in it! Marcus, Andy and Vish dust themselves off after that 9-goal humdinger at Goodison Park and settle in for a new episode of the Football Ramble - join us!

Elsewhere in the FA Cup, Man City press pause on the Jaws soundtrack as they continue to swim away from everyone else – but Andy’s still not convinced about their Champions League chances. We also thank Kelechi Iheanacho for doing everyone a favour by avoiding extra-time in Leicester vs Brighton, while Yaya Touré has begun his managerial journey in Ukraine!

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More FA Cup malaise, some Neil Warnock pleasantries, and a toaster from Melwood Feb 10, 2021

Jules, Luke and Vish are here off the back of two of the least interesting cup ties imaginable - where was that Magic™️?! Donny van de Beek struggled on as Man United laboured past West Ham, while Burnley just about got their team sheet submitted in time before losing to Bournemouth.

Thankfully, Neil Warnock provided some sparkle by hurling abuse from the sideline of a Middlesbrough U23s match. Meanwhile, Liverpool auctioned off various sofas and signed Roy Hodgson photos from their old training ground. Who says the magic has faded from football?

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Patrick Bamford hits the century, lockdown advice from Max Kruse, and could Harry Redknapp go round again? Feb 09, 2021

Like many of his Leeds United teammates, Patrick Bamford continues to settle nicely into the Premier League routine - and he’s now scored 100 career goals! Marcus, Pete and Andy are here to celebrate this milestone after Leeds’ win over Crystal Palace.

Elsewhere, some old school André-Pierre Gignac flavour helped Tigres to their first Club World Cup final, where they should face Bayern Munich - if their plane ever takes off from Brandenburg airport. Meanwhile, AFC Bournemouth’s caretaker boss Jonathan Woodgate fired up the Knapp signal and Max Kruse dishes out the usual footballers’ advice over on his Clubhouse account.

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Man City distinguish themselves, Everton salvage a point, and Steve Bruce’s Alright Job Feb 08, 2021

Kate, Jim and Pete are here with a title race postmortem after Man City’s hugely impressive win at Anfield put further distance between themselves and the chasing pack. Unsuprisingly, Roy Keane was full of that reserved, constructive criticism we’ve come to expect from him after those bizarre Alisson errors.

We also look over some other goalfests from this weekend’s action, as Duncan Ferguson’s bear hugs injured several Everton players and Newcastle clung on to the three points that an emotionally battered Southampton tried to prize from their hands. It could be worse for Southampton, mind: we also hear of one Brazilian forward who has received an eight-game ban for whipping out a particular celebration...

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The Preview Show: Mourinho’s poor jobby, Bruce readies the cannon, and big Phil Jones is back Feb 05, 2021

Where else to start other than in Scotland, where a Hamilton commentator set a new gold standard for football broadcasting this week.

Thankfully, Marcus, Andy and Luke are taking no such liberties on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We talk about the fallout from Spurs’ defeat to Chelsea where there are big questions for Mourinho. But do we deserve an answer?

Elsewhere, Bruce takes his cue and readies Andy Carroll and a deep defensive block for the visit of Southampton. Plus, we bid a fond farewell to Marcos Rojo and reacquaint ourselves with an old friend.

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The Seagulls are soaring, J-Lingz returns, and Sean Dyche’s lookey-likeys Feb 04, 2021

Despite another inevitable defeat at the hands of Man City, Sean Dyche showed he is really full of surprises yesterday. Presumably he’s also full of Croydon salad, too.

Jules, Jim and Vish react to Brighton’s latest scalp, as Dan Burn ushers in a new era of incredibly lanky wingers. We also take stock of J-Lingz’s triumphant return - who better act fast if he doesn't want to lose his clothing and pistachio deals to the 8-year-old in Santos who has signed with Nike. Yep, the game’s gone.

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Southampton have done it again, Sheffield United begin the climb, and Arsenal fully lose the plot Feb 03, 2021

Oh dear, Southampton fans. Not only did your team ship nine goals for the second season in a row, but a delighted Luke Moore is on today’s show. He’s joined by Kate and Pete to pick through the startling, smouldering rubble left behind at Old Trafford.

There were some other chaotic results in last night’s Premier League action, as Sheffield United began the long and daunting climb to safety while David Luiz left his grubby, predictable paw prints all over Arsenal’s bizarre loss at Wolves. Speaking of bizarre, André Villas-Boas' reign at Marseille has come to a salty end - is he lining himself up for the Newcastle job? We hope so.

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Newcastle miss out on Neymar, Liverpool sign some cover, and Michael Owen saves the world Feb 02, 2021

A flurry of late transfers rounded off what was a much quieter Deadline Day than usual. Join Kate, Andy and Pete to take stock of the window’s movers and shakers, as Newcastle missed out on Neymar and had to settle for Joe Willock instead.

Liverpool did sign some much needed defensive cover, as Schalke’s Ozan Kabak and Preston North End’s Ben Davies join their depleted ranks. We also reminisce about some delightful pettiness from Jesé, hear of Antonio Cassano’s sugary cravings and celebrate Michael Owen’s new role in the global effort against the pandemic. Well done, Michael, they’re thirteen.

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Newcastle bounce back, Thomas Tuchel has takeoff, and an emotional title win in Brazil Feb 01, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Vish cast their eyes over an all right weekend of football which fortunately threw in a funny named Dutch striker and some goals.

Newcastle get the lift they needed with a European Cup triumph, but Bruce is already flying high with all his fan mail. Elsewhere, Tuchel bagged his first win, but can’t hug Werner into goalscoring form, while over at Leeds everyone's included in Papa Bielsa's warm embrace. Especially Kalvin Phillips, though - apparently he’s free to marry both his daughters.

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Football Ramble x Jameson: Nights Worth Waiting For Jan 30, 2021

In case you missed it, join Marcus Speller and Pete Donaldson for a very special episode of the Football Ramble, where we’re joined by comedian and host of The Last Leg, Alex Brooker!

Thanks to Jameson, we’re here to look ahead to football’s full return and things we can’t wait to get back to. We imagine getting back in full stadiums and sharing those fleeting moments of pure magic, and wonder what aspects of football we’d change upon its full return: watching England games in the bath? Hot water bottles free for every match-going fan? Listen in to find out!

What are your nights that are worth waiting for? Let us know! Tweet us @FootballRamble and @Jameson_uk using #JoinIn, and we’ll read out our favourite responses on a future episode with Jameson.

Join in!

This episode was sponsored by Jameson.

Whether you like your Jameson with ginger ale, on the rocks, or in a cocktail, pour out a glass and toast the return of those nights worth waiting for.

The good times will come again and we’ll share them with Jameson.

18+ please drink responsibly - for more information, head to drinkaware.co.uk.

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The Preview Show: Liverpool find their groove, a relegation six-pointer, and sweet nothings from Paolo Maldini Jan 29, 2021

Is there anything you wouldn’t do if Paolo Maldini phoned up and asked? Marcus, Vish and Luke push that question to its moral edge on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

We also look ahead to another crammed weekend of Premier League football, as Liverpool look to follow up an impressive win against Spurs and West Brom and Fulham face off in a relegation humdinger. There’s even time to check in with some members of the British Managers Club™️, as hovercraft captain David Moyes looks to improve his scouting options and Sam Allardyce looks to sign literally anybody.

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Sheffield United plot their Great Escape, some Thomas Tuchel good vibes, and a vintage Sean Dyche performance Jan 28, 2021

Sheffield United are now just one win away from matching Derby’s unwanted Premier League record – but we’re dreaming bigger. Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to look over the first draft of plans for Chris Wilder’s Great Escape. Coming soon to an empty stadium near you.

Elsewhere in last night’s Premier League, Thomas Tuchel’s stunt double gesticulated wildly from the sideline as Chelsea began their new era with a 0-0 draw. We pore over that, praise another impressive win for Burnley and celebrate a wild Gareth Southgate sighting!

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David Moyes on a hovercraft, another battering for West Brom, and a Welsh legend departs Jan 27, 2021

We can only assume that “genius” doesn’t mean what Pep Guardiola thinks it does, after Man City heartlessly battered Big Sam’s struggling West Brom. Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to pick up the pieces after that demolition on today’s episode of the Ramble!

Elsewhere, there is due praise reserved for West Ham manager and hovercraft captain David Moyes, as they move up to fourth on the back of yet more unsung brilliance. We also check in on two of the game’s defending stalwarts - as a Russian activist tried to disguise himself as Daniel Agger and Welsh legend Ashley Williams hangs up his boots - before picking through Newcastle’s latest underwhelming performance.

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Frank Lampard’s tenure ends, a mixed night for Gareth Bale, and Mick McCarthy’s back from the beach Jan 26, 2021

The uncertainty around Frank Lampard’s future has finally cleared. The club legend was sacked yesterday amidst a poor run of form and ominous signs in the dressing room. Kate, Luke and Andy are here to look over a tenure that offered encouraging signs initially, but seems now to only have been a temporary solution.

Elsewhere, José Mourinho’s duet with Gareth Ainsworth didn’t go as planned after their 4-1 win, one that flattered a misfiring Tottenham side. We also celebrate Mick McCarthy’s triumphant return from faraway lands, get the lowdown from Andy on Martin Ødegaard and hear some of the best distractions shouted at opposition players.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve heard someone shout at an opposition player to put them off? Let us know: email show@footballramble.com!

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Man United edge out a thriller, freaky desires at Man City, and Newcastle continue to plummet Jan 25, 2021

It seems this weekend’s Magic of The Cup™️ was all crammed into a cracking game at Old Trafford, with Man United edging out Liverpool thanks to more Bruno Fernandes wizardry.

Jules, Jim and Pete are here to revel in that glorious game and look across the rest of the weekend’s results, as Man City beat a spirited Cheltenham Town and Southampton knocked out holders Arsenal. Away from the FA Cup, Newcastle maintained their alarming slide down the table and Fenerbahçe are seemingly crowdfunding Mesut Özil’s wages, because that’s just the world we live in now…

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The Preview Show: The Anfield spell is broken, Wolves’ pitch peeves, and the big boys' trip to Cheltenham Jan 22, 2021

Kate, Luke and Andy are here to sniff out some of that Magic of The Cup™️ on today’s episode of the Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Liverpool travel to Man United for round two of this season’s most boring rivalry, after Jürgen Klopp survived a prickly encounter with a gleeful Sean Dyche last night. We also wonder how two Davids will fare against their respective Goliaths, as Cheltenham Town host Man City and Chorley face Wolves on their terrifying pitch of doom. Oh, and this summer’s multi-venue Euro 2020 is in jeopardy - because of course it is.

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Paul Pogba’s pool parties, Dean Smith’s raging fury, and Michail Antonio’s santa sorrows Jan 21, 2021

We barely had time to take in last night’s intriguing game at Craven Cottage, as we were too busy looking at the plans for Fulham’s new stand. Wayne Lineker’s packing his speedos as we speak…

Jules, Luke and Jim are here to look over a right humdinger between Man United and Fulham, as well as Man City’s slightly bizarre victory over Aston Villa and an infuriated Dean Smith. We also hear of Pelé’s plan to wrestle back his goalscoring record from Cristiano Ronaldo and Michail Antonio’s honest assessment of his Christmas Lamborghini crash. Ahh, footballers and their things.

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James Maddison walks the walk, David Moyes dares to dream, and cryptocurrency transfers Jan 20, 2021

Despite Leicester creeping towards the fabled verge, James Maddison was quick to pour blackcurrant cordial over the fires of their title challenge after a cracking win against Chelsea. Join Kate, Vish and Pete as we revel in another dose of that Brendan Rodgers magic!

West Ham piled more misery on Big Sam with their win over West Brom last night, which left David Moyes dreaming and Vish lighting the official ‘Michail Antonio for the Euros’ beacon. We also hear of football’s first transfer funded entirely by bitcoin - Michael Owen was not involved - as well as Diego Costa WhatsApping his CV and wage demands to every manager in the land.

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Mesut Özil bids farewell, Steve Bruce’s unanswered questions, and Fizzer keeps the roof blazin’ Jan 19, 2021

Marcus, Vish and Andy are here to say their heartfelt goodbyes to a few stalwarts of English Football and look over the entirely expected and underwhelming spectacle that was Arsenal 3-0 Newcastle.

First on the plane is Mesut Özil, who closes off his messy final chapter at Arsenal with his expected move to Fenerbahçe. We wonder how he'll be remembered at Arsenal, who cast further doubt over Steve Bruce’s masterplan at Newcastle last night. There’s also time to party in the city where the heat is on, as Phil Neville’s on South Beach until the break of dawn: he’s taking charge of Inter Miami! Danny Drinkwater and Jack Wilshere also look for new starts at Kasımpaşa and Bournemouth respectively.

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Man United and Liverpool share the spoils, another sneaky Leicester victory, and a vital win for Big Sam Jan 18, 2021

The wildly hyped clash at the top of the table failed to deliver much excitement, with both Man United and Liverpool happy with a point apiece. Marcus, Pete and Jim are here to round up that game as well as a load more Premier League action on today’s episode of the Ramble - join us!

Elsewhere, Leicester crept back towards the verge with a win at Southampton and West Brom got a vital win over struggling Wolves. Karl-Heinz Rummenigge also recounts Pep Guardiola’s emotional departure from Bayern, while Steve Bruce insists the gloves are off and he’s “doing it his way” – which makes us wonder exactly whose (infuriating) way it’s been up to this point…

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The Preview Show: A titanic title tussle, war in West London, and Brendan Rodgers’ secret recipe Jan 15, 2021

We’ve got ourselves a proper title race! Join Marcus, Luke and Jim to assess the runners and riders on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway.

Sunday’s Liverpool vs Man United will be a huge game for everyone except Jason McAteer, who is currently fronting the latest media assault on Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s boys. Elsewhere, Leicester have been having a jolly old time of late, with Jamie Vardy pausing his Ibiza plans for some of Brendan Rodgers’ trust workshops. We also hear some alarming revelations from Mark Clattenburg and bid a fond farewell to Chelsea stalwart Lucas Piazon, who left the club after one league appearance in a decade.

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Good vs Evil ends all square, Phil Foden lives every hour for football, and Skynet take over Burnley Jan 14, 2021

José Mourinho had a few things to be angry about after Spurs drew with a spirited Fulham side, chief among which was Scott Parker’s team selection. That’s right, José is seemingly trying to pick the opposition's team as well as his own.

Kate, Andy and Luke are here to question that strategy, before looking over Man City’s latest win on their march up the table. There’s also ample time given to the machines’ gradual takeover of football, as robot pandas invade the Chinese second division and cyborgs slot in at Burnley. Will Marcus Moore finally get a game up top for the Clarets?

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Man United reach the summit, Newcastle hit rock bottom, and an Uncle Avram update Jan 13, 2021

Join Marcus, Vish and Pete to look back on a huge night in the Premier League! That’s right: Ryan Fraser has officially become the shortest player ever to be sent off in Prem history. And Man United did something or other.

Elsewhere, Chris Wilder plans a lovely night in with his wife after the Blades’ wait comes to an end. It was another car crash for Brucey, but it’s all right: David Ginola has stated his intention to come and save the day.

Plus, a particularly hazardous edition of Portmantonio Conte and news that Uncle Avram could be returning to Stamford Bridge.

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West Ham’s dazzling display, Mesut Özil reveals nothing, and King Kazu soldiers on Jan 12, 2021

Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to round off the FA Cup proper, as West Ham laboured past Stockport while Mike Dean and Mark Noble stared pensively into the night sky together. Blissful scenes.

Elsewhere, Mesut Özil’s Twitter exposé didn’t tell us much, apart from revealing his unquestionably legitimate beef with Petr Cech. We also look at how Royston Drenthe and Edgar Davids are getting on in their current jobs and celebrate King Kazu’s latest contract extension! That’s right, the Yokohama FC legend has signed a new deal ahead of his 54th birthday - Pete Donaldson is, of course, absolutely ecstatic.

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Crawley saunter into the next round, Marine’s dream ends, and Bovril vs Skips Jan 11, 2021

Crawley Town had their eyes firmly on The Narrative this weekend, as they rounded off a comprehensive win over Premier League entertainers Leeds by bringing on a reality TV star for his debut. And who says the magic of the Cup is gone?!

Jules, Jim and Vish are here to round up the rest of the weekend’s FA Cup action, as non-league Chorley brushed aside Derby County's kids and Aston Villa’s academy put on an impressive display against Liverpool. We also saw supervillain Carlos Vinicius raise the council tax in the Merseyside area, Big Sam’s struggles continue and a Brighton fan up a tree in Newport.

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The Preview Show: Marine welcome Spurs, Pep’s WhatsApp beef, and West Ham strike again Jan 08, 2021

Marcus, Luke and Andy are here for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! It’s the FA Cup 3rd round - just about. We rejoice in the things we love about it: balls sailing into people’s gardens, Matt wrecking ball Rhead, and dreams of swatting aside a bunch of youth players drafted in at the last minute.

We look ahead to the pick of the bunch - Marine vs Spurs - where Mourinho might have a special invitation while nearby residents could have a very much uninvited ball smashing in through their window.

Detective Speller also investigates Pep’s WhatsApp beef with his Spain teammates, and the Dildo Brothers have pulled off another masterstroke in the transfer window. Plus, Spel Brasico. Jump aboard!

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Man City battle to another final, Mick McCarthy packs his suitcase, and a royal rumble in Antwerp Jan 07, 2021

Kate, Luke and Vish look back on last night’s Manchester derby, where Pep’s City Rollers (one for the youngsters) cruised to a fourth straight League Cup final.

But while Pep and John Stones got dizzy on that sweet, sweet Carabao, it was an all too familiar sinking feeling for Man United and Vish in his bedroom fort. We also pay homage to Mick McCarthy after his latest sacking at APOEL Nicosia - and even more so to poor Jack Byrne. But it’s all good, because Fizzer has been head-hunted for an ambiguous “role” at Inter Miami.

And, of course, we address the giant, Belgian elephant in the room and give our assessment of the most unorthodox attempt to secure a transfer we have ever seen.

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Spurs march on to Wembley, Sergio Ramos stirs the pot (again), and halibut histories Jan 06, 2021

Spurs are through and José Ron Mourinho has done it again! Jules, Vish and Pete look back on a historic night for Spurs - one which briefly hung in the balance before VAR screwed Ivan To-knee and Son Heung-min did his usual ruthless business.

Meanwhile, the Pandora’s Box that is the January transfer window has been lifted and Sergio Ramos has taken his cue. But while he goes fishing for a fresh new contract, we find out about the Norwegian footballer who has genuinely given it all up to become a halibut farmer.

We also doff our caps to the great Colin Bell after the Man City legend sadly passed away yesterday.

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Southampton best Klopp’s men, the Raymond Domenech circus, and Thomas Müller’s sperm factory Jan 05, 2021

We have a title race people. Maybe. Kate, Jim and Andy look back on last night’s action, as Southampton set Man United pulses racing and a teary Alpine Klopp reached new heights.

Elsewhere, once Kate grasped the concept of FIFA, there's more glorious football video game glitches and nostalgia (especially for goal machine Brian Plank). The gang also turn to Europe, where Raymond Domenech got a nasty surprise at his first Nantes training session.

We also ask: who wants to become a sperm millionaire? Thomas Müller, that’s who.

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Man City school Lampard, Son hits a century and Ronaldo vs Bean Dad Jan 04, 2021

Marcus, Jim and Pete look back on a weekend packed with Premier League happenings!

Man City put on a lamps out performance at Stamford Bridge which left everyone reeling - their own keeper most of all. But while Chelsea piss away their title chances, over in the midlands Arsenal just about resist the temptation to make yellow snow and demolish Big Sam’s men.

Elsewhere, José was left feeling hard done by after Reguilón left his Christmas piglet. But over in Brazil Neymar had a quiet night in on New Year's Eve and left his underground nightclub untouched. There’s also news of a dog’s escapades in Bolivia and we ask who is the better father: Cristiano Ronaldo or Bean Dad?

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The Best of the Football Ramble 2020 Dec 31, 2020

To round off the year, we're looking back on some of our favourite moments from this year's Football Ramble! Sure, it's been a horrendous year for many but we've had a great laugh making the show every day and hope you've had a cracking time listening in - thanks so much for your support throughout 2020.

On today's Best Of episode we return to the dizzy heights of Neil Warnock's carefully planned BBQs, Jules' dislike of a rug and the infamous debut of the Carrot Eating Challenge. We even dip back into the archives and revel in some horrendous lockdown nonsense, as Gerard Butler gets an absolute pasting on Pete's Film Club.

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The Preview Show: Arsenal hide from Diego Costa at the Hawthorns, the Man United tribute act rolls on, and Santos foil Messi Dec 30, 2020

Welcome to a brand spanking new edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Marcus, Luke and Jim look ahead to Arteta and Allardyce’s royal rumble, after Leeds give West Brom a cautious thrashing and Romaine Sawyers jeopardises his place in the St Kitts and Nevis squad. We also turn a horrified gaze to a certain Diego Costa galloping onto the horizon.

Manchester United pulled off another smash and grab ahead of their clash with Aston Villa, but Louis van Gaal hasn’t been much impressed (and that’s the real quiz). Plus, the Association of Researchers and Historians of Santos FC assemble…

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The Festive Ramble Extravaganza! (Part 2) Dec 29, 2020

We've had a nap and cleared the plates, so it's time to break out the board games and cram some leftovers into a sandwich: it's round two of the Ramble Christmas party!

Jules, Luke, Jim and Vish are in the festive mood today as we discuss helping our families with the Christmas cooking, watching the likes of Lewes and Gosport Borough on Boxing Day and navigating that dreaded post-lunch slump. Luke also brings some festive frivolity in the form of a few bizarre games for each of his co-hosts. Game on!

This episode was recorded earlier in December.

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The Festive Ramble Extravaganza! (Part 1) Dec 28, 2020

To celebrate the holiday period, join us for the first of two bonus festive episodes of the Football Ramble! Marcus, Kate, Andy and Pete are here to don their Christmas clobber and guzzle on some cheer.

We suspend the usual football chat to talk about our respective Christmas traditions and remember some classics from the Boxing Day football archives. From Peterborough United to Hartlepool - via the West Ham Christmas Party - there's a whole load of nonsense for you to enjoy. We even bring back a classic Ramble game for one day and one day only...Who's under there?

This episode was recorded earlier in December.

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Ramble Meets… Sven-Göran Eriksson Dec 25, 2020

Merry Christmas one and all! You might remember our little chat with a certain Sven-Göran Eriksson back in September. Well, that was far from all.

For this very special Ramble Meets…, Marcus, Luke and Jim chat with the former England manager and a true Ramble legend about all sorts: from Sven’s somewhat hapless playing career, to the Ivory Coast national team’s song about him, to what exactly happened in that 2002 World Cup quarter-final against Brazil. And, of course, we quiz him about his true retirement plans.

So on this fine Christmas morning, here’s a little gift from us to you. You’re going to love this one.

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The Preview Show: Jamie Vardy gets friendly with Man United, Arteta’s fighters go to Chelsea, and Warnock stands up for the little guy Dec 24, 2020

Marcus, Andy and Vish are back for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

It’s crunch time in the Premier League as Ole’s boys head to Leicester for a 'who can leave the ball in the centre circle the longest' competition. Remarkably, Maguire has played the most football of any player in world football - ideal preparation for a Boxing Day afternoon with Vards.

Elsewhere, Arsenal welcome Chelsea, and recent form suggests they will be very hospitable indeed. Plus, Norwegian manager Egil Olsen has chosen a very special name for his mutt, and Big Sam gets ready for his first wind-up as Warnock valiantly comes to his defence. And, to top it all off, Marcus’ game returns!

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Brentford knock Newcastle out, Phil Foden impressed again, and Sepp Blatter rears his head Dec 23, 2020

The Carabao Cup failed to serve up any great surprises last night, as Man City swept aside a meagre Arsenal and Brentford made their first ever semi-final after beating an underwhelming Newcastle.

Marcus, Andy and Vish are here to chew over all of that, watch the fallout from the Scottish Cup tumble out of control and check in on Lionel Messi’s record-breaking quest for immortality. Oh, and FIFA has found some ‘irregularities’ regarding their museum and Sepp Blatter - obviously.

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Burnley get back on the horse, CONCACAF chaos, and Mick McCarthy never forgets Dec 22, 2020

Burnley and Chelsea’s wins rounded off the pre-Christmas fixtures last night. Join Kate, Jim and Andy as we catch our breath before they return on Boxing Day!

One person who certainly won’t be invited round Mick McCarthy’s on Boxing Day is Roy ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’ Keane after Mick revealed a house-wide banning order on his name this week. We discuss that, some hair-pulling chaos in the CONCACAF Champions League, and Mikel Arteta clutching at tactical straws. Oh, and intimate photos of Diego Costa have found their way into a London charity shop, so there’s that…

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Man United turn on the style, Liverpool’s magnificent seven, and Dat Guy strikes again Dec 21, 2020

After Liverpool and Man United repaired some early season damage with boatloads of goals, it seems like all these chaotic scorelines will balance each other out after all. Jules, Jim and Vish are here to chew them over on today's episode of the Ramble!

Leeds and Crystal Palace received these respective pastings, but weren’t the only sides on the end of tough losses this weekend. Sheffield United were denied their first win of the season by 'Dat Guy' Danny Welbeck, while neutrals were denied any kind of enjoyment by Spurs 0-2 Leicester. We also review Big Sam’s return and check in on the latest manager in the hottest of managerial hot seats down at Watford.

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The Preview Show: Man United face an old enemy, Big Sam fills our screens, and André Villas-Boas is on the warpath Dec 18, 2020

Welcome to a brand new edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Take a seat, grab a Petit Filous and settle in with Marcus, Luke and Andy!

An old rival awaits Man United after they bail themselves out at Bramall Lane, while an old friend touches down on the West Brom centre-circle with armfuls of Werther’s.

Elsewhere, the FIFA Best Awards happened, Gennaro Gattuso is getting hot under the collar about Scottish football and André Villas-Boas is taking press conference madness to another level. Join us for all that and more!

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Liverpool best Mourinho’s men, another quiet evening at Elland Road, and Big Sam is back Dec 17, 2020

Jules is back in the building! And she is joined today by Jim and Vish to chew the fat after an action-packed Wednesday night in the Premier League.

Mourinho dusted off some 2005 cue cards after Liverpool snatched a win over Spurs at the death. Over at Elland Road, while Bielsa’s bovril was tasty, the goals were even tastier as Leeds put Newcastle to the sword. Meanwhile, though there’s a brief respite from Arsenal pain for Jim, Arteta is asking people to hit him.

And of course, West Brom fans look towards a bright new future.

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West Brom hold Man City, speedy Wolves undo Chelsea, and how to kidnap the Real Madrid team Dec 16, 2020

Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to try and talk about last night’s action above the ear-splitting noise of the big Sam klaxon.

Those little slugs at West Brom only went and sacked Bilić half an hour after the Ramble record! We reflect on what turned out to be his final game in charge, as Bilić’s boys put up a brave fight against Man City. As did Anthony Taylor, as he wrestled back his board from Guardiola. Elsewhere, N’Golo Kanté takes matters into his own hands, but Lampard’s men still fall to a second consecutive defeat. Meanwhile over in Brazil, Corinthians have Taylor Swift to thank yet again.

There’s also a special Bosman-themed Portmantonio Conte and one emailer goes to quite extraordinary lengths to meet his Real Madrid heroes.

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European knockout draws, Blackburn’s curious scouting techniques, and remembering the great Gérard Houllier Dec 15, 2020

Kate, Luke and Jim are here to size up the tasks for the various English sides left in Europe after yesterday’s Champions League and Europa League draws. Good travels to Evil as Frank Lampard faces up to Diego 'Dark Knight' Simeone, while Man City and Liverpool face stern Bundesliga tests in the form of Borussia Mönchengladbach and RB Leipzig.

Elsewhere, we take a moment to celebrate Gérard Houllier’s amazing career, as numerous stalwarts from across football came together to pay their respects to a humble genius. We also hear the very best and worst of football fandom: namely, your Dad reminding you Cesc Fàbregas doesn’t know you exist and Blackburn Rovers acting on scouting recommendations from an 11-year-old. Probably.

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Dropped points for the big sides, a great result for Fulham, and Newcastle get back on the horse Dec 14, 2020

It seems nobody was fussed about taking advantage of all those dropped points in the Premier League this weekend. Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to look back on a host of results, reminding us that form is temporary and class...is now also temporary.

Fulham were hugely impressive in their draw with Liverpool, as Scott Parker’s dulcet tones left Jürgen Klopp hot under the collar. Elsewhere, Arsenal continued to embarrass themselves, Everton fended off Chelsea and Newcastle piled more misery on Slaven Bilić and West Brom. Join us for all that and a bucketload besides!

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The Preview Show: A huge Manchester derby, a cold Ancelotti derby, and the biggest derby of them all Dec 11, 2020

Marcus, Luke and Vish look ahead to a weekend full of Premier League barn-burners in a brand new episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

First under the Ramble magnifying glass is the Manchester derby, as Fizzer whispers up in support of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and John Stones has finally stopped playing with fire.

Elsewhere, Christian Pulisic is aware of his hamstrings ahead of Chelsea vs Everton, while Gabriel Agbonlahor has an interesting theory for why James Rodriguez hasn’t been cutting it. We’re sceptical, to say the least. And, of course, there’s also a huge round of Luke’s Game with the title belt on the line!

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Football Ramble x Jameson: Nights Worth Waiting For Dec 11, 2020

Join Marcus Speller and Pete Donaldson for a very special episode of the Football Ramble, where we’re joined by comedian and host of The Last Leg, Alex Brooker!

Thanks to Jameson, we’re here to look ahead to football’s full return and things we can’t wait to get back to. We imagine getting back in full stadiums and sharing those fleeting moments of pure magic, and wonder what aspects of football we’d change upon its full return: watching England games in the bath? Hot water bottles free for every match-going fan? Listen in to find out!

What are your nights that are worth waiting for? Let us know! Tweet us @FootballRamble and @Jameson_uk using #JoinIn, and we’ll read out our favourite responses on a future episode with Jameson.

Join in!

This episode was sponsored by Jameson.

Whether you like your Jameson with ginger ale, on the rocks, or in a cocktail, pour out a glass and toast the return of those nights worth waiting for.

The good times will come again and we’ll share them with Jameson.

18+ please drink responsibly - for more information, head to drinkaware.co.uk.

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Liverpool relish the joys of a Danish winter, Ederson’s strong right hook, and Sheffield United’s plight Dec 10, 2020

It was another veritable carnival of VAR in the Champions League for Liverpool last night. What a way to spoil a perfectly good meaningless group stage game, eh?

Kate, Vish and Luke chat about all of last night’s action as ex-Pompey player Brian Priske steers Midtjylland to another point and Agüero gets back in the goals.

Elsewhere, we discuss the news that everyone at City is terrified of Ederson and ask why everything is going wrong at Sheffield United.

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Man United exit the Champions League, PSG and Basaksehir take a stand, and El Diego's legend lives on Dec 09, 2020

Welcome to your all-new episode of the Football Ramble! Marcus is joined by Jim and Andy to dissect all of the big events of the last 24 hours, including Manchester United's unceremonious dumping out of the Champions League at the hands of RB Leipzig.

Elsewhere, the game between PSG and Istanbul Basaksehir is abandoned amid allegations of racism, Qatar look to move themselves into the heart of Europe, and El Diego might be about to get the eulogy he presumably would have wanted.

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VAR clips the Seagulls’ wings, SpongeBob makes his Bundesliga debut, and the 2022 World Cup appears out of thin air Dec 08, 2020

With the much-anticipated 2022 World Cup looming large in the distance we discuss the familiar routes the home nations will take to Qatar, as England book tickets to San Marino and Scotland play Israel for the 326th time.

Jules, Andy and Pete also look back on an ultimately fruitless night for Brighton, as yet another bizarre call from VAR denied the Seagulls an impressive win against Southampton. We also hear from Borussia Dortmund’s latest signing, try not to get on Siniša Mihajlović’s bad side and wonder what’s next for Paul Pogba.

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Mourinho respects Arsenal and the animals, Crystal Palace gub West Brom, and nicking Roy Keane’s chair Dec 07, 2020

Another week, another Mourinho defensive block of despair.

Join Kate, Jim and Pete as they get stuck into the north London derby - where Arsenal looked bereft of ideas up top and Héctor Bellerín could not take a throw-in.

Meanwhile, it's looking much rosier over at Palace after Benteke bagged a brace. But their former boss Neil Warnock ain’t happy about the facilities at Stoke. He ain’t happy at all. Join us for all that and more!

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The Preview Show: Another North London derby showdown, more bizarre dads at football, and Yorkshire Grit vs Flash Cockney Dec 04, 2020

There are some tasty fixtures for us to look ahead to on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Our own trio of flash cockneys - Marcus, Luke and Jim - are here to wet your footballing appetites!

Another edition of the North London derby rolls into view, as Eric Dier and José Mourinho continue to praise every other player and manager across all 92 clubs rather than their own. Arsenal meanwhile welcomed fans back to the Emirates last night with a comfortable, one-touch stroll down memory lane. We also delve into the historic rivalry between Chelsea and Leeds, hear some more bizarre tales of dads at football grounds and see Michael Owen’s furious streak appear before our very eyes. Join us!

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Magnifique from Olivier Giroud, bizarre from Ole Gunnar Solskjær, and cultured from Thierry Henry Dec 03, 2020

Join Marcus, Andy and Pete as we slide - two-footed and studs up - into another night of Champions League on today’s episode of the Football Ramble!

Olivier Giroud showed his venerable class with four glorious goals over in Seville, while Man United were unable to contain the PSG swarm at Old Trafford. We also hear what it was like for fans back in EFL stadiums last night, bring another round of Portmantonio Conte to the table and pave the way for Thierry Henry’s Hollywood adventure!

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Liverpool’s new kids on the block, fans return to stadiums, and sneaking onto the pitch at Wembley Dec 02, 2020

Strap yourselves in for another ride aboard the Ramble mothership! Alongside you are Kate, Vish, Jim...and 31 Champions League-ready youngsters from Liverpool’s academy.

Jürgen’s boys got the job done against Ajax last night, with young goalkeeper Caoimhín Kelleher particularly impressive (even if he only got put there because he doesn’t score). Elsewhere, Pep Guardiola and Sérgio Conceição riled each other up so much that their respective sides forgot to stick any chances away.

We also tentatively celebrate the return of fans to the EFL and look ahead to some worrying plans for a post-Brexit transfer window.

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Fulham can indeed score penalties, West Ham climb to fifth, and head injuries in football Dec 01, 2020

Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents: Fulham have finally scored a penalty! Jules, Luke and Andy are here with reactions after Ivan Cavaleiro’s confident strike gave Fulham a vital win over topsy-turvy Leicester.

Meanwhile, something is bubbling away on the other side of London as West Ham sneak into FIFTH after their win over Aston Villa. We also discuss the fallout from Raúl Jiménez’s nasty injury and what can be done to improve concussion protocols in the game, before hearing a cracking tale about a listener’s dad screaming at a load of French internationals!

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José’s little pony, West Brom get their first win, and Klopp vs Kelly Nov 30, 2020

There’s an absolute boatload of football for our own three little ponies to get stuck into on today’s Ramble, as Marcus, Vish and Pete round off another weekend of football.

Chelsea and Spurs played out a tense draw that left Frank prickly in the post-match, while José Mourinho was his usual calm and thoughtful self. Elsewhere, West Brom finally got their first win of the season, Man United overcame in-form Southampton, and eighth-tier Marine FC advanced to the third round of the FA Cup with a last-gasp winner!

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The Preview Show: Europa League action, Leeds United’s acid test, and Joe Hart’s inswinging deliveries Nov 27, 2020

The Europa League threw up some crackers for Marcus, Luke and Vish to get stuck into on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. We start with yesterday’s football, as Harry Winks turned into David Beckham and Jamie Vardy saved Leicester’s bacon at Braga.

Elsewhere, we look ahead to some of this weekend’s Premier League action as Chelsea try to break down a stubborn Spurs and Leeds face a proper test at Goodison Park. There’s also time for us to touch on our favourite Diego Maradona moments, as we light the fires over in Diego Corner once again.

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Goodbye El Diego, Atalanta punish Liverpool, and Manchester City are back in the knockouts Nov 26, 2020

Diego, thank you for the memories. Join Kate, Andy and Jim as we look back on all that made the man great: his flaws, his wonderful vindictive streak, his belly slides, and the incredible things he could do with a football. It’s a very special Diego Corner indeed.

Elsewhere, football goes on and we spend some time on a difficult night for Liverpool - who suffered their heaviest home defeat under Jürgen Klopp. Plus, Sergio Reguilón has been given a ham for his good work on Sunday and Brendy Rodgers has reportedly been jiving to Tina Turner.

Share your memories of Maradona! Search ‘Football Ramble’ on social media to find us, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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Chelsea march into the Champions League knockouts, Manchester United get revenge, and Steve McClaren is back in business Nov 25, 2020

After a bit of a falling out over who was sitting where in the studio this morning - Emmanuel Dennis style - Marcus, Andy and Pete have made peace for Shteve McClaren’s sake.

We reflect on a return to form in the Champions League for Manchester United and doff our caps to Olivier Giroud’s towering header that clinched Chelsea’s knockout spot. Plus, Pete has a new game - or punishment - for Andy, and we explain why some pilots in Russia have drawn something naughty with their plane to support Zenit striker Artem Dzyuba.

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Fans to return to stadiums, Wolves peg back Southampton, and welcome to the Bulgarian Army! Nov 24, 2020

Football fans: welcome back to your happy place! Alan Pardew: welcome to the army!

Jules, Jim and Luke are here to celebrate the scheduled return of (some) football fans to stadiums and the prospect of some normality. It was certainly back to normality for Burnley last night, as they ground out a win in a 1-0 classic, while the 80s detectives derby saw Theo Walcott bag a goal for Southampton.

Elsewhere, a 9-year-old applies for the Derby job yet is somehow still more qualified than Pards, and Neil Warnock has been headhunted for I’m A Celebrity. Please make it happen. Join us!

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A José Mourinho vintage, Leicester headbutt their ceiling, and Danny Welbeck rolls back the years Nov 23, 2020

If the international break was a scary, alien concept fraught with uncertainty, then this weekend’s Premier League action was like putting on your favourite jumper. Snuggle in with Marcus, Pete and Vish as we mull it all over on today’s episode of the Football Ramble!

A vintage José Mourinho performance - on the touchline and in subsequent interviews - helped Spurs to an important win over Man City. Elsewhere, Liverpool looked like their rabid old selves against Leicester and Danny Welbeck made us all feel safe again with his delightful goal for Brighton – assisted by fellow England throwback, Adam Lallana. Lovely stuff!

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The Preview Show: Pep v José, training ground bust-ups aplenty, and Marcus starts a war with Canada Nov 20, 2020

Welcome to your all-new episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! With that the pesky international break now out of the way, Marcus, Andy and Luke are here to run the rule over the big weekend Premier League games - including Tottenham v Man City, Newcastle v Chelsea and Fulham v Everton.

Elsewhere, there's controversy in the email section as Marcus lays a marker down to an entire nation, and we round things off with a titanic tussle for the ages in the latest instalment of Luke's Game. Don't miss it!

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England put Iceland to the sword, Wales take their seat at the top table, and how to greet Sir Alex Ferguson Nov 19, 2020

That was more like it, wasn’t it? England cruise past Iceland as Phil Foden and Jack Grealish turn on the style. Not that Jules, Vish and Jim allow themselves to get carried away, of course.

Elsewhere, Wales secure a dream promotion to the top tier of the Nations League and Kieffer Moore looks really happy about it, while Scotland go down to Israel but will definitely still boogie on. Plus, we learn how Andrei Kanchelskis greeted a certain Scotsman at Manchester United in the worst - or best? - way possible. Join us!

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Spain batter Germany, Antonio Conte’s got the secret, and content king Ben Foster Nov 18, 2020

The Nations League just keeps throwing us curves, as Spain inadvertently hit Germany for six while out for an evening stroll. Join Kate, Vish and Pete for an equally quaint saunter through the latest footballing nonsense on today’s episode of the Football Ramble!

Away from the Nations League, we hear of Antonio Conte’s astute predictions while he was Chelsea manager and take a tour through Liverpool’s creepy new training ground. There’s also time for Ben Foster’s latest online venture, as his lovely YouTube videos have been met with a measured mix of delight and tentative questions around broadcast rights…

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Managerial moves in the Championship, a Faroe Islands handball update, and José Mourinho loves the international break Nov 17, 2020

This little gap in football's relentless onslaught means Marcus, Luke and Pete have time to talk about some managerial changes in the Championship, as two legends at each end of the managerial spectrum take up new roles. Wayne Rooney stepped up at Derby for the time being, while Tony Pulis began his 11th managerial stint after taking the Sheffield Wednesday job!

Elsewhere, we check in with José Mourinho after an international break jam-packed with fun and frivolity. We also hear the tale of ‘The Google Striker’, catch up with Wrexham’s potential new owners and dial in for our regularly scheduled update from the Faroe Islands handball scene.

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England fail to qualify, Wales keep another clean sheet, and the sad passing of Ray Clemence Nov 16, 2020

That’s it, then. It’s all over: England are out of the Nations League. Dry your eyes, mate - Marcus, Andy and Jim are here to conduct the post-mortem.

England's tentative performance against Belgium saw Jack Grealish impress yet again, but few else were able to stake a meaningful claim for inclusion. We also look over the rest of the weekend’s Nations League action as Scotland’s unbeaten run ended while Wales’ rolls on.

Finally, we take some time to celebrate the wonderful career of former England goalkeeper, Ray Clemence, after his passing on Sunday.

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The Preview Show: Scotland make history, heartbreak for Northern Ireland, and England’s evening stroll Nov 13, 2020

It took them 22 years, but they’re back in the big time: Scotland have qualified for a major tournament! Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to celebrate on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

David Marshall’s penalty heroics helped the Scots claim a famous victory in Serbia, while Northern Irish hearts were broken after a Slovakian winner in extra-time spoiled their Euro 2020 dream.

Elsewhere, we look over England’s straightforward win against Ireland, as Jack Grealish further proved his worth. We also see whether a penalty was scored in Chile just 654 hours after it was awarded.

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Big nights for Scotland and Northern Ireland, a seventeen-year-old scout, and is Ronaldo coming home? Nov 12, 2020

Vish is back and his nerves are jangling for the Scots. But the Snodfather and an intimidatingly jovial Steve Clark appear to be ready for a historic night in Belgrade.

Kate, Andy and Vish also look ahead to Northern Ireland’s crunch tie against Slovakia, reflect on Jude Bellingham’s England call-up and critique Robbie Fowler’s poetry. Plus, we fill our boots with wicked whispers that Ronaldo is returning to Old Trafford. And then promptly empty them again. Join us!

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Greg Clarke resigns from The FA, another dinosaur returns, and Danny Drinkwater puts himself out there Nov 11, 2020

We begin today's episode with the abrupt resignation of Greg Clarke from The FA after he made a string of offensive remarks while discussing diversity in football. Jules, Andy and Jim discuss the fallout and what meaningful actions The FA should take to promote diversity and inclusion within football governance.

Elsewhere, we celebrate the return of Gunnersaurus thanks to a rotating shift of freelancers, applaud Danny Drinkwater's search for a club and worry about the future of the EFL as ten clubs reportedly struggle to pay wages.

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International football stumbles on, Phil Neville’s whispers of support, and our new true-crime podcast Nov 10, 2020

Marcus, the only man on Earth currently excited about international football’s return, joins Jim and Pete for another hard-hitting episode of the Football Ramble. Strap yourselves in.

England’s friendly against Iceland looks set to go ahead - despite quarantine regulations trying their best to disrupt proceedings - while Didier Deschamps is looking forward to Paul Pogba’s break from Man United.

Elsewhere, Philadelphia Union celebrate victory with Captain America’s help and fans of Wrexham AFC will vote on their recent dealings with Hollywood stardom.

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The joys of the FA Cup first round, Liverpool and Man City share the spoils, and Aston Villa impress again Nov 09, 2020

Fancy a bit of extra chaos in your football life? Then get involved with the first round of the FA Cup! Kate, Luke and Pete certainly have on today’s episode of the Football Ramble.

Alongside those upsets, penalty shoot-out wins and goals from inside the halfway line, we look back at a swathe of Premier League action from the weekend. Southampton, Spurs and Leicester jostled for pole position, with the Foxes coming out on top after their win against Wolves. We also pore over Man City and Liverpool’s entertaining draw and try to settle on Pete’s new catchphrase.

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The Preview Show: Liverpool take on Manchester City, Pickford gets Southgate’s support, and PPV set to be scrapped Nov 06, 2020

Marcus, Jim and Luke are here for a bumper edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Liverpool take on Man City this weekend, but are Southampton going to storm aboard and make off with the Premier League booty? Elsewhere, it’s crunch time for Sean Dyche’s Burnley as they face Brighton, who have been without egomaniac Neal Maupay after an "incident".

Gary Southgate’s also announced his latest squad, so we reflect on the break-up of iconic duo Foden & Greenwood and ask whether Reece James is the best of England’s army of right-backs. And, of course, the Lineal Championship belt is decided! The count is not stopping on this one. Join us!

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Demba Ba punishes Manchester United, Chelsea mop up again, and former players join dementia study Nov 05, 2020

Marcus, Pete and Andy pore over another intriguing night in the Champions League after Manchester United were undone by an inspired Demba Ba and some bizarrely forgetful defending. Meanwhile, Chelsea’s miserliness continues and Timo Werner seized penalty-taking duties.

The chaps also talk about football’s troubling connection to dementia after news that 30 former Premier League players have signed up to a study examining early signs of the disease. Plus, they discuss the heartwarming story of a girl that raised over 10k for charity by doing an astonishing 1.12 million keepy-uppies. Join us!

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Jota shines again, Manchester City keep on rolling, and Villas-Boas rallies the troops Nov 04, 2020

Last night’s Champions League saw another set of impressive displays for Liverpool and Manchester City - Pep is even giving his players a day off! Surely there’s got to be a catch.

Marcus, Andy and Jim are back in the studio to review the action as Diogo Jota leads Liverpool’s line with aplomb, Fernan Torres bags another goal, and Andre Villas-Boas delivers an inspirational rallying cry for his Marseille players. Join us!

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Leicester City creep towards the verge, Fulham get their first win, and AFC Wimbledon return to Plough Lane Nov 03, 2020

Whisper it: Leicester City are on the verge of another title. If they play as well as they did last night in their next 31 games, it’s theirs for the taking!

Marcus, Andy and Jim are here with reaction to Leicester’s dismantling of Leeds Utd, who looked a bit more nervous and tentative than in recent games. We also look over Fulham’s first win of the season against fellow relegation strugglers West Brom, while Chelsea’s fourth-choice goalkeeper Petr Cech is keeping it all business. We also look ahead to tonight as, away from the Champions League, AFC Wimbledon return to Plough Lane after their 29-year wait - glorious!

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Southampton climb up the table, Gareth Bale gets off the mark, and Mick McCarthy’s back in business Nov 02, 2020

Each Premier League match seems to be falling into one of two categories: ‘chaotic goal-fest’ or ‘tedious, dull nonsense’. Join Jules, Luke and Pete on today’s episode as we sort through this weekend’s games.

Southampton’s annihilation of Aston Villa certainly fits into the former category, as free-kick extraordinaire James Ward-Prowse showed his class. Man United vs Arsenal, though a great win for the Gunners, was a decidedly torrid affair. We get into those, plus Newcastle’s win over Everton and Mick McCarthy’s new gig, in an action-packed edition of the Football Ramble!

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The Preview Show: José shuffles his cards, Aston Villa want top spot, and the former glories derby Oct 30, 2020

Join Marcus, Luke and Andy for another jam-packed edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! This weekend, we’ve got a shedload of games to look forward to.

José Mourinho was his usual diplomatic self after Spurs’ surprise loss to Royal Antwerp, while Arsenal had a much easier time against plucky Dundalk. This weekend, they take on Man United without any of the usual pomp and circumstance, while Aston Villa host an in-form Southampton - come join us!

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All hail Marcus Rashford, Jack Wilshere’s future, and Chelsea turn on the style Oct 29, 2020

Marcus Rashford can do it all! Last night, he took a break from his admirable social activism to knock a quick hat-trick past RB Leipzig in the Champions League. Marcus, Pete and Andy are here to look over an impressive United performance that was overshadowed by another sartorial swerve from Leipzig coach, Julian Nagelsmann.

Elsewhere, Chelsea return from Krasnodar with three points and a first goal for Hakim Ziyech as Roman Abramovich watched on. We also speculate what’s next for Jack Wilshere and hear of some truly bizarre match preparation from lower down the pyramid.

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Ferran Torres impresses again, Liverpool’s mounting injury woes, and Josep Bartomeu’s understated exit Oct 28, 2020

On today's episode of the Ramble, Kate, Jim and Andy are back to look over another night of impressive European performances.

We kick things off with chat about how a strikerless Man City despatched Marseille and an injury-stricken Liverpool beat FC Midtjylland. We also look over the FA’s new diversity code that aims to improve representation in the higher echelons of English football.

Meanwhile, Barcelona president Josep Bartomeu leaves in a typically understated fashion - by apparently signing up to both a European Super League and an expanded Club World Cup. Classy…

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Harry Kane indeed got the assist, Mike Ashley stands up for the people, and the birth of a new football TV series Oct 27, 2020

In this time of crisis, we all need a man of the people to stand up for what's right. Step forward, Mike Ashley.

Marcus, Vish and Luke are here with reaction to his one-man crusade against the recent pay-per-view proposals, as well as some truly outstanding camera work up at Inverness Caledonian Thistle. There’s also some football to look over, as Spurs look to be mounting a serious title challenge after Son Heung-min and Harry Kane teamed up again, while West Brom and Brighton shared the spoils down at The Amex. Oh, and Vish unveils some more bizarre Aussie slang - join us!

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Southampton halt the Everton train, more goals for Hat-trick Bamford, and the opening sequence of Goal 4? Oct 26, 2020

After Ajax stuck thirteen past VVV Venlo and stole most of the Premier League’s goals, Jules, Jim and Pete are here to pick up the pieces on today’s episode of the Ramble!

We start off with praise for Southampton’s hugely impressive performance as they brought Everton’s unbeaten run to an end, while Man City struggled again as they were held by West Ham. We also look over another barnstorming Leeds win, with pianist Patrick Bamford among the goals, before bricklayer-turned-Newcastle trialist Florent Indalecio reminds us it’s important to dream once in a while. Join us!

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The Preview Show: Old Trafford braces for goals galore, tough times for Sheffield United, and the greatest goal ever scored Oct 23, 2020

The Premier League’s coming over the hill, which can only mean one thing - it’s time for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Kate, Luke and Jim are here to blast through an intriguing round of fixtures, as Man United host Chelsea and Arsenal head to Leicester on the back of a lacklustre European performance.

We also wonder what’s going on at Sheffield United as they search far and wide for a goalscorer, and the Luke’s Game lineal champion defends her crown!

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More goals for Sergio Aguero, more encouragement from Jurgen Klopp, and more mariachi bands in Valencia Oct 22, 2020

After Liverpool stood strong in Amsterdam and Man City swept aside Porto, Kate, Pete and Andy settle in for another roundup of Champions League action on this glorious Thursday. We then look over Mesut Özil’s omission from Arsenal’s Premier League squad and wonder how a player of such undisputed talent has ended up in his position.

We also even have time for some glorious shithousery over in Valencia, as a well-placed mariachi band continue to snap at the heels of the club’s owners.

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Another Parisian dream for Man United, Chelsea achieve the unthinkable, and Pelé’s musical talents Oct 21, 2020

The Champions League can do funny things to a team, it really can. Exhibit A: Chelsea secured their first clean sheet under Frank Lampard! Marcus, Pete and Vish are here to celebrate this momentous occasion on today’s episode of the Ramble.

Man United also impressed last night, beating a wholly underwhelming PSG in their own back yard. We run the rule over that, throw our totally sincere support behind the Super European Premier League Battle Royale and receive a musical blessing from Pelé himself. Vamos!

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Our first goalless draw, Newcastle fans’ admirable work, and the return of the Champions League! Oct 20, 2020

Finally, the Premier League has listened to our warnings about overindulgence and settled down - for now at least. Join Marcus, Jim and Andy for a stroll through some semblance of normality.

We only got one goal from last night’s pair of matches. And that goal was scored by Raúl Jiménez - despite an on-brand Jim insisting it was a Kalvin Phillips own goal - as Wolves continue to get up to speed.

We also look over a damning indictment of pay-per-view football as Burnley vs West Brom finished goalless, while Newcastle fans gloriously ignored the concept altogether. All that plus the return of the Champions League - cue the music!

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Merseyside madness, Chelsea stumble again, and a Manuel Lanzini thwack Oct 19, 2020

After another weekend of chaos across the table, it seems as if this Premier League season won’t ever just calm down! Jules, Luke and Vish are here with all the reaction to a whole host of madness.

The Merseyside derby was as wild as we hoped, with Jordan Pickford making yet more headlines and Dominic Calvert-Lewin sniffing out another goal. Elsewhere, Spurs left the back door open for West Ham’s Manuel Lanzini to smash in a rocket and Chelsea let another three points slip through their grasp.

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The Preview Show: Derbies galore, Gareth Bale nears his return, and The Master vs The Apprentice Oct 16, 2020

It’s cold outside, so wrap yourself up in a warm and familiar blanket: the Premier League returns this weekend! Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to look over it all on today’s jam-packed edition of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

There’s an intriguing Merseyside derby to kick off the weekend’s festivities, and we wonder whether Carlo Ancelotti’s Everton are realistic challengers for the top few spots. Mikel Arteta also takes his Partey bus to Man City to take on Pep Guardiola - how long might he still be in the City dugout? And, brace yourselves everyone – Gareth Bale may finally stroll out onto the green grass of home, only 2710 days after he left. Here we go…

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England see red, Scotland bail out Scotland, and story time with Adil Rami Oct 15, 2020

Oh, England… With one deflected goal giveth, another red card taketh away. Kate, Vish and Jim are here in the aftermath of England’s loss to Denmark, as Harry Maguire’s dismissal reflected a night that just didn’t go the Three Lions’ way.

Elsewhere, we celebrate two more wins for the Home Nations as Scotland and Wales showed their resolve, while Adil Rami sheds some light on his extracurricular activities and we bid a fond farewell to Project Big Picture. All of that and loads more on another packed edition of the Football Ramble – join us!

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England go again, San Marino magic, and the EFL talk Project Big Picture Oct 14, 2020

Jules, Pete and Vish are here to celebrate the magic of the Nations League after San Marino secure a fairytale 0-0 draw with Liechtenstein! There's also more mafioso developments in the Big Project Thing and we discuss yesterday’s crucial meeting of EFL representatives and the reaction of supporters’ groups. Plus, where does the Women’s Super League stand in all this?

Meanwhile, there’s more England beef, a dearth of left feet and the battle between Gary and Jonny M continues. Oh, and Jules absolutely bodies Vish on air. Settle in!

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More fallout from Project Big Picture, Paul Scholes swoops in, and what’s next for Josh King? Oct 13, 2020

We’re here with our own look at football’s big picture, as we take you from South Devon to Salford and everywhere in between on today’s episode of the Football Ramble! Join us!

Kate, Luke and Andy are here with further reaction to the leaked proposals around ‘Project Big Picture’, as some EFL clubs voice their support (while West Ham aren’t so keen). There’s also time for chat on the current situation at the Hammers, with Saïd Benrahma and Josh King the subjects of their latest bids, and a callout for literally any competent footballer in the South Devon area to get themselves down to Stoke Gabriel FC!

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England are on top of the world, Steve Clarke smiles again, and Premier League weasels Oct 12, 2020

Best in the world you call yourselves? Come and have a go! Pete and Jim calm down a giddy Marcus to discuss England’s statement win over Belgium. We then chat Jordan Henderson’s dark arts, the absence of Grazza and the virtues of Gary Southgate’s pragmatic tactics.

There’s also a lot of love for Andy Considine, who made his Scotland debut at the ripe old age of 33, and the 600 Northern Ireland fans whose ironic cheers were heard loud and clear. And, of course, the boys talk about greed. We gape at the madness of PPV and examine Project Big Picture, which at least isn’t completely insane. And remember, no matter how bad it gets, you can always believe in Carlton Cole.

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The Preview Show: Scotland scrape through, debut goals galore for England, and synchronised shootout success Oct 09, 2020

It’s raining cats and dogs on today’s brand new episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Marcus, Vish and Luke are here to chat about England’s debutant success as Dominic Calvert-Lewin gets his first goal, Danny Ings brings it home - even Conor Coady gets involved! Elsewhere, there’s time for qualifiers packed with penalties as Scotland and Northern Ireland advance in the Euros, 4 To Score is back, and we’ve got another cracking high-stakes edition of Luke’s Game!

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Ronaldo vs Ramos, England prepare to face Wales, and Steven Davis is making history Oct 08, 2020

As the international break rolls on, Marcus, Jim and Andy react to Scotland’s squad restrictions after Stuart Armstrong tests positive. Meanwhile, calls for fans to be allowed back into stadiums continue, and Gareth Southgate has a firm word ahead of England’s night with Wales.

Elsewhere, Ferran Soriano suggests bringing B teams to the Premier League, Ramos and Ronaldo set their differences aside after 2 years of Ballon D’or breakup, and we look at what it really takes to be a skilled, hot-dog-throwing mascot. Join us!

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Persistent problems at Man United, Chris Hughton’s back in the game, and Mesut Özil saves the day Oct 07, 2020

On today’s show, we welcome back managers, mascots and presenters alike as Vish finally comes out of hiding! He’s joined by Jules and Luke to discuss whether Mauricio Pochettino can solve Man United’s problems.

Meanwhile, Forest’s dreams of Championship success look bright as Chris Hughton takes charge of the Reds. There’s also time for how far Gordon Strachan can be thrown, sun-tanned Scottish refs emailing in, and mascots sticking together as Ozil makes his big PR move.

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Arsenal pinch Thomas Partey, Edinson Cavani rides into Manchester, and the real reason behind Liverpool’s success Oct 06, 2020

Marcus, Andy and Pete are back after deadline day with a whole host of transfer news, as Partey time comes to the Emirates, and Kevin Mirallas gets a very unique welcome at Gaziantep FK!

Elsewhere, after Liverpool’s mad loss at the weekend, Zeljko Buvac reveals the truth behind Klopp’s success and the world’s best defender has a word with some dissenting fans. Strap yourselves in...

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Premier League chaos, a perfect hat-trick, and Arsenal sack a legend Oct 05, 2020

After an extraordinary weekend of results, Kate, Jim and Pete are here to discuss ALL the goals, shocking incidents and prehistoric mascots.

First things first, there’s chat on Watkins getting both feet and his head involved in a first-half hat-trick which saw Villa thrash the defending champions, while Spurs delivered 6 in a humiliating defeat at Old Trafford. Amongst the madness, there’s even time for Leicester getting hammered, Guardiola’s post-match perfume advice, and Arsenal’s deadline day disaster as the beloved Gunnersaurus is let go.

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The Preview Show: Guardiola takes on Bielsa, Arteta’s Arsenal march on, and Gary Southgate’s latest squad Oct 02, 2020

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back and looking ahead to another Premier League weekend on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

Liverpool’s empire looks on the verge of crumbling after their cup defeat to Arsenal, though they head to Aston Villa with hopes of Premier League salvation. Elsewhere, José Mourinho wants Harry Kane wrapped in cotton wool while on England duty with Gary Southgate. Also on today’s show, excitable student Pep Guardiola takes on steely master Marcelo Bielsa in what should be a cracking encounter.

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Another hat-trick for Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Jonjo Shelvey goads some empty stands, and a Faroese dream Oct 01, 2020

Despite repeated attempts at self-sabotage, Newcastle still managed to scrape past giant-killers Newport County – still, Pete Donaldson ain’t happy. He’s joined by Kate and Andy to look over another night of Carabao Cup action, as Dominic Calvert-Lewin scored a glorious hat-trick and both Manchester sides march on.

Elsewhere, we celebrate a cracking interview with whippet-turned-defender Rafael and cheer on KÍ Klaksvík ahead of one of the biggest games in Faroe Islands history.

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Eric Dier gets the jobbie done, Ross Barkley heads to Villa Park, and Man United haggle themselves in circles Sep 30, 2020

Despite Jose Mourinho dropping the kids off at the Spurs stadium to face Chelsea, they scraped past the Blues on penalties! Jules, Andy and Vish are here to mull over the game that saw Tanguy Ndombele impress and Timo Werner open his Chelsea account.

Further down the leagues, are some promising signs that the government will be helping out National League clubs in the coming weeks and also that some fans will be able to attend FA Cup matches. We also get a transfer update as Man United continue to tie themselves up in knots while Ross Barkley joins Aston Villa on loan!

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Klopp vs Keane, more misery for Fulham, and a worrying picture in the lower leagues Sep 29, 2020

There are a few glorious battles for Kate, Luke and Pete to mull over on today’s episode! Alexandre Lacazette vs Alisson; Roy Keane vs Jürgen Klopp, and Fulham vs impending doom all take turns to bask in the Ramble spotlight.

We also look at the perilous position lots of lower league clubs are in, as their finances continue to be ravaged by the pandemic. We wonder what can be done to help, aside from offering our services as pro bono commentators for clubs looking to broadcast their matches.

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Jamie Vardy’s reign of terror, more bizarre handballs, and a doddering Thiago Silva Sep 28, 2020

After another Premier League weekend passes by with absolutely no moments of controversy, Marcus, Jim and Vish are here to revel in the ridiculous.

Jamie Vardy continued to sap power from his opponents as he scored a hat-trick, while a classy Steve Bruce couldn’t understand how his side won that late penalty. There’s also time for more Pep Guardiola happiness, inevitable handball controversy and a bizarre bus mishap for Oxford United. Join us!

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The Preview Show: Man City have a new superstar, West Brom turn heads, and Bruno Fernandes has a moan Sep 25, 2020

Welcome to a brand new episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Today, Marcus is joined by Luke and Andy to run the rule over all the big upcoming games in the Premier League this weekend, as well as dissecting the big stories from last night's action. Including, but not limited to, Jose Mourinho and goalposts, Rory Delap's son, Slaven Bilic thinking outside the box when it comes to signing a new player, and Nelson Semedo's potential debut for Wolves. There's also Luke's Game, 4 To Score and a brand new patreon competition (http://patreon.com/footballramble)!

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Kai Havertz’s lethal hat-trick, swashbuckling Newcastle United, and Hollywood comes to Wrexham Sep 24, 2020

Goals. And loads of them. All over the bloody shop: six at Stamford Bridge, seven at Fleetwood and two from Newcastle’s lonely wanderer, Joelinton! Settle in alongside Marcus, Luke and Vish as we mull it all over on today’s episode.

As well as that gluttonous gathering of goals, we despair for West Ham fans as their owners continue to disregard their best interests. We then hear some puzzling news around potential new ownership at Wrexham. The party comes to the Racecourse Ground!

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Football struggles amidst the pandemic, Les Ferdinand calls for action, and a thirteen-second Estonian debut Sep 23, 2020

Despite most of last night’s Carabao Cup matches going ahead - with Spurs vs Leyton Orient postponed after positive coronavirus tests - football continues to operate in precarious times. Kate, Andy and Jim are back in the studio to discuss some games that did happen, with Newport County continuing their impressive cup streak and Brentford knocking out West Brom on penalties.

Elsewhere, we discuss Les Ferdinand’s comments around teams taking a knee ahead of matches and celebrate the arrival of Alex Morgan to an increasingly stacked WSL. We even find time time for a youngster’s debut in Estonia that saw him substituted thirteen seconds after the kick-off! How odd…

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Manchester City get back at it, Zlatan Ibrahimović defies ageing, and animal stadium invasions Sep 22, 2020

Marcus, Jim and Andy are here after a paisley-draped Man City saw off a spirited fight from Wolves last night, while Aston Villa got a much-needed result over Sheffield United. Will Kevin De Bruyne establish himself as the best in the world post-Messi and Ronaldo, we wonder?

We also look over some of football’s everlasting constants, as Zlatan Ibrahimović scored yet again and alpacas invade lower league matches. Meanwhile, Diego Simeone’s evil empire continues to grow: Luis Suárez and Diego Costa may soon be their strike partnership. My word.

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Premier League goals galore, more problems for Kepa Arrizabalaga, and what next for Dele Alli? Sep 21, 2020

Jules, Luke and Vish managed to climb out from under a landslide of Premier League goals and made it back in the studio for a brand new episode of the Football Ramble!

Chelsea lost to the Champions after yet more shaky goalkeeping from Kepa Arrizabalaga – how can Frank Lampard continue to play him? There’s also time for Harry Kane’s telepathic relationship with Son Heung-min, questions around Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s improvements at Manchester United and another hatful of goals for Leeds United! Bosh!

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The Preview Show: Spurs’ travelling circus rolls on, Leeds United search for their first win, and Chelsea take on the Champions Sep 18, 2020

Roll up, roll up – Marcus, Vish and Andy are ready to charge into another Premier League weekend on today’s episode of the Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

After they staggered to a 2-1 win in the Europa League last night, Tottenham Hotspur head to Southampton for the beautifully timed Gareth Bale Derby on Sunday. Elsewhere, Leeds United will be hoping to get off the mark as they host Fulham, while Thiago Alcantara’s new club Liverpool take on Chelsea’s various new boys. And, in a dramatic twist, poacher turned gamekeeper Marcus puts his own spin on another cracking edition of Luke’s Game!

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More EFL Cup shoot-outs, shirt sponsor dilemmas, and a sad day for Macclesfield Town Sep 17, 2020

Maybe a season of single-legged Carabao Cup ties will continually throw up some extra drama – it certainly did last night! Marcus, Pete and Jim are back in the studio after Hull City bested Leeds on penalties and Southampton were knocked out by an impressive Brentford.

We also get an update on the Tottenham Hotspur soap opera: former boss Mauricio Pochettino hasn’t watched much of All Or Nothing and, on top of that, their daunting schedule looms into view. There’s also time for Dean Smith dreaming of Europe, the sad developments from Macclesfield Town and the KNVB ensuring rigid standards are maintained...

You can listen to Between The Lines with Melissa Reddy here: hyperurl.co/BTLmelissareddy

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Gareth Bale packs up his clubs, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang commits to Arsenal, and Jude Bellingham makes his mark Sep 16, 2020

Sound the alarm: Gareth Bale may well be returning to Tottenham! Jules, Jim and Andy offer their reactions to these seismic developments, as Spurs rummage around in the back of Real Madrid’s wardrobe for both the Welshman and Sergio Reguilón’s signatures.

Elsewhere, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Jack Grealish sign new contracts at their respective clubs, Bournemouth and Crystal Palace play out a crazy penalty shoot-out and Jude Bellingham scores on his Borussia Dortmund debut – you love to see it!

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Chelsea’s new signings impress, Wolves pick up where they left off, and Gonzalo Higuaín heads for Miami Sep 15, 2020

Marcus, Jim and Vish are here to mull over an impressive display from Chelsea’s newest recruits against Brighton. Elsewhere, Nuno Espírito Santo believes something special is happening up at Wolves after they beat Sheffield United seemingly days after their endless 2019/20 campaign ended.

We also hear a listener’s bizarre proposal to freshen up promotion and relegation, wonder how Gonzalo Higuaín might fare at Inter Miami and unpick Mike Ashley’s latest rallying call against the Premier League. O Captain! My Captain!

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Leeds United bring the party, Everton’s debutants impress, and dinner party nightmares Sep 14, 2020

The cosy old jumper that is the Premier League returned – and what an opening weekend it was! Kate Mason, Pete Donaldson and 5’7” King Vish Ehantharajah settle in for a chat about some of the liveliest games from the opening round of fixtures.

Liverpool and Leeds United slugged it out at Anfield, while a much-improved Everton kept a listless Spurs at arm’s length. We also praise Newcastle’s debutants for actually looking decent, before reeling in confused horror at Damien Delaney’s proposal for a dinner party guestlist.

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The Preview Show: Liverpool host Leeds United, Scott Parker’s tough task, and Neil Warnock’s on the BBQ Sep 11, 2020

The Premier League has returned, so soon after the last! Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to look ahead to a crammed weekend of fixtures on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway.

We’ll finally get to see Marcelo Bielsa in the Premier League, as Leeds are welcomed back to the top flight with a trip to the Champions. We also look ahead to Fulham’s clash with Arsenal, wonder who will slot into Everton’s midfield as they take on Spurs and hear all about Neil Warnock’s lovely routine.

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Mike Ashley throws a hail mary, Abdoulaye Doucouré gets his move, and Kevin De Bruyne revels in the bizarre Sep 10, 2020

As the new Premier League season rolls into view, Kate, Vish and Jim are here to bring you all the latest! Mike Ashley’s doing his best to endear himself to the Newcastle faithful (to not much success) while Abdoulaye Doucouré further bolsters Everton’s midfield.

Elsewhere, lower-league legend Jefferson Louis signs for his fortieth club and Gareth Ainsworth reflects on an amazing few years at Wycombe – rock n’ roll chat very much included…

The first episode of On The Continent will be available later today over on our new channel, Football Ramble Presents! Subscribe here: hyperurl.co/ramblepresents

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Another tepid England performance, Cristiano Ronaldo hits the century, and Ollie Watkins’ Premier League move Sep 09, 2020

Despite England serving up yet another dull affair, there’s still plenty for Marcus, Pete and Vish to get stuck into on today’s episode of the Ramble!

A load of last night's Nations League goals came elsewhere, as Olivier Giroud bagged his 40th for France and Ronaldo brought up his international century with two beauties. We also chat about Ollie Watkins’ potential move to Villa, the ever-impressive Héctor Bellerín and the recent news that all of September's football will be televised.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know which non-footballer you'd sign for your club and why. Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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James Rodríguez joins Everton, more WSL coups, and some odd Nations League results Sep 08, 2020

Kate, Andy and Luke are here to welcome two more celebrated footballers to the Premier League, as Kai Havertz joins Chelsea and James Rodríguez links up with Carlo Ancelotti once again.

We also discuss yet more superstar arrivals as Tobin Heath and Christen Press join Manchester United, while Andy gives us the rundown on Wolves’ new wonder-kid Fábio Silva. There’s even time for a Nations League update, as Scotland beat a bizarre Czech Republic line-up and England head to Denmark without Phil Foden or Mason Greenwood.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know which non-footballer you'd sign for your club and why. Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Some international football failed to excite, Lionel Messi stays put, and Andy Carroll’s community relations Sep 07, 2020

The UEFA Nations League didn’t serve up anything particularly spicy for today’s episode of the Football Ramble, but no matter – Gibraltar and the Faroe Islands both won again!

Marcus, Jim and Pete give a slither of credit to Wales and England after their respective wins, before praising Ansu Fati’s amazing performance against Ukraine. We also hear of Andy Carroll’s latest bout of community relations, try to convince Pete that Newcastle’s new signings are, in fact, worthwhile and marvel at the bizarre situation at West Ham.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know which non-footballer you'd sign for your club and why. Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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An announcement from Ramble HQ about the 20/21 season! Sep 06, 2020

Evening everyone, just a quick announcement about our plans for the 20/21 season here at Football Ramble HQ.

Marcus, Jules, Kate, Andy, Vish, Jim, Pete and Luke are all super excited to be with you through the new season and beyond!

Also, subscribe to Football Ramble Presents here: hyperurl.co/ramblepresents

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The Preview Show: Germany duke out a draw with Spain, Wales and Ireland get positive results, and we look ahead to England v Iceland Sep 04, 2020

Happy Friday everyone! Marcus, Andy and Luke are here to help you usher in the weekend with talk of Germany's encounter with Spain last night, as well as Republic of Ireland's game against Bulgaria and Wales' useful win in Finland!

Elsewhere, there's England chat, Marcus bothering a footballer trying to qualify for his coaching badges, Andy's encounter with Mick McCarthy in Lyon, and the danger of space lobsters in football. The usual stuff, really.

For next week's Topic, we want to know which non-player you'd sign for your club and why! Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

This show is sponsored by Betway.

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Fans back in stadiums, Lionel Messi again, Newcastle digs aplenty, and Michael Owen's new beer Sep 03, 2020

What's going on, everyone! It's time for an all-fresh, brand spanking new episode of the Football Ramble! Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete join forces to deliver the warmest takes on the big football stories of the last 24 hours. They cover the prospect of fans going back into stadiums, Lionel Messi's Dad, Carl Jenkinson in the Crystal Dome, *and* Marcus at Glasgow Garden Festival.

Elsewhere, we examine Pete Donaldson's expenses and why he is also a member of a Zimbabwean whatsapp group, have a group laugh at Newcastle United (again), and discuss Michael Owen's new brand of beer.

Got a suggestion for a new question on tomorrow's edition of The Topics? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Arsenal make a signing, Ivan Rakitic goes home, and Marcus Rashford continues his superhero transformation Sep 02, 2020

Hello and a very warm welcome to today's Football Ramble! Kate is joined by Andy and Jim to take a long, hard look at the latest transfers—including Ivan Rakitic's emotional return to his spiritual home, and Arsenal's new left-footed centre back Gabriel. Looks like dreams can come true!

Other questions the team attempt to answer today: what's it like sitting next to Troy Deeney and Lethal Bizzle at a sporting event? What does erectile dysfunction have to do with Spanish football? And why is a giant beaver milking a cow in Portugal?

Got a suggestion for a new question on tomorrow's edition of The Topics? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Good news for Grealish, great news for Lyon, and Spurs get the All or Nothing treatment Sep 01, 2020

Rejoice at the prospect of a brand new Football Ramble for your listening pleasure! This time around Kate, Pete and Luke are the triumvirate primed and ready to deliver some more red hot football chat to your ears and hearts. So strap yourselves in and get ready!

On today's show, we ruminate on the addition of Jack Grealish to the England squad ahead of the Three Lions' upcoming fixtures. We then marvel at just how good Lyon are after they lifted the Women's Champions League for the fifth time in a row. And we also find the time to talk Lionel Messi, Tom Hardy and Jose Mourinho.

Got a suggestion for a new question on tomorrow's edition of The Topics? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Arsenal lift first silverware of the season, Maitland-Niles and Coady get England nods, and players on the move Aug 31, 2020

Welcome to a brand new week of Football Ramble delights! Here to kick us off today are Marcus, Vish and a delighted Jim. They start by running the rule over Arsenal's triumph against Liverpool in the Community Shield on Saturday.

Elsewhere, there's a couple of additions to Gareth's England squad ahead of the Nations League, the winner of our latest Patreon competition (patreon.com/footballrambledaily), and a round up of players who may well have dived headfirst through the transfer window...

Got a suggestion for a new question on tomorrow's edition of The Topics? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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The Preview Show: Football’s back already, Matt Doherty looks set to join Spurs, and Gareth Barry hangs up the boots Aug 28, 2020

Six days after the last one ended, the next football season’s grand opening is somehow already upon us! Yes, we look ahead now to the Community Shield on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway.

Kate, Luke and Vish then celebrate Gareth Barry’s hugely impressive career after his retirement announcement, before wondering what exactly Matt Doherty would bring to Tottenham’s defence. And wait with baited breath as Kate faces her first challenger since being crowned the current Luke's Game champion!

On next week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: with Tom Hardy voicing the new Spurs documentary, which famous person would you have voicing a series on your club and why? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Ben Chilwell joins Chelsea, the Football League announces streaming, and Newcastle United are having a mare Aug 27, 2020

Ben Chilwell’s flown the nest and joined up with his old muckers at Chelsea! Marcus, Luke and Pete are here to assess Frank Lampard's latest signing and to mull over Lionel Messi’s next destination – might it be Manchester City?

We also highlight Newcastle United’s alarming lack of strikers and celebrate the impressive work of Mathieu Flamini. All in the shadow of a Diego Maradona-shaped rumour looming over La Liga’s newest side, Elche CF.

Got a suggestion for a new question on tomorrow's edition of The Topics? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Lionel Messi requests the unthinkable, England's latest squad, and Louis van Gaal's musings Aug 26, 2020

It seems the grass may well be greener on the other side, even for the GOAT: Lionel Messi has told Barcelona he wants to leave! Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to unpack this startling news and wonder where Messi might end up should he move on. Is Mike Ashley’s long-term plan finally coming to fruition?

We also look over Gareth Southgate's latest squad for England's upcoming Nations League matches, praise friendly neighbourhood superhero Victor Lindelöf and revel in Louis van Gaal’s recent comments about his time at Manchester United.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: if you could choose to dress one football manager, who would you pick and what are they wearing? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Chelsea peruse the transfer market, single-legged European ties, and Dimitri Payet sticks the boot in Aug 25, 2020

With the football schedule briefly on pause, we turn our attentions to the transfer window as Chelsea look to replace their homegrown talents with expensive imported ones. On today's episode, Kate, Pete and Andy are here to discuss Kai Havertz and Thiago Silva’s imminent arrivals as well as Leicester’s James Maddison signing a four-year contract extension in a service station.

We also revel in some more glorious pettiness from various Marseille players, wonder whether these single-legged Champions League ties may be here to stay and reflect on Patrice Evra’s recent interview with Donald McRae.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: if you could choose to dress one football manager, who would you pick and what are they wearing? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Bayern achieve the inevitable, Sevilla win yet another Europa League, and Guus Hiddink heads to the beach Aug 24, 2020

Bayern Munich’s relentless march to glory reached its inevitable conclusion last night with their Champions League victory over PSG. Kate, Jim and Andy are here to discuss how impressive Hansi Flick’s turnaround has been and what’s next for Neymar et al.

We also celebrate yet another win for Sevilla in the Europa League, kick off this week’s question on The Topics and hand Guus Hiddink some suncream as he takes charge of Curaçao.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: if you could choose to dress one football manager, who would you pick and what are they wearing? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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The Preview Show: The European season draws to a close, Nuri Şahin reunites with his nemesis, and more sartorial sins Aug 21, 2020

Kate, Andy and Luke are here to look ahead to the climax of the European football season on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!

PSG will try to stop the Bayern Munich steam train on Sunday, while Sevilla’s resident pest (Éver Banega) hopes to get one over his former club Inter. There are other titanic battles for us to discuss too, as Nuri Şahin reunites with an old enemy at Antalyaspor and Kate looks for revenge in Luke’s Game!

On next week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: if you could choose to dress one football manager, who would you pick and what are they wearing? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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The unstoppable Bayern machine, Gerard Piqué’s London calling, and the new Lionesses head coach Aug 20, 2020

Serge Gnabry and Robert Lewandowski ended Lyon’s Champions League dream last night, despite the Ligue Un side having plenty of chances! We rue those misses on today’s episode of the Football Ramble.

Next, Kate, Vish and Jim look at developments in the women’s game, as Dutch legend Sarina Wiegman becomes the next England head coach and USWNT’s Rose Lavelle joins Man City. There’s even time for some gloriously bizarre transfer rumours – Michael Keane to Barcelona, anyone?

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Julian Nagelsmann’s sartorial swerve, getting fans back in stadiums, and more Premier League predictions Aug 19, 2020

Julian Nagelsmann’s suit belied the usual efficiency of his RB Leipzig side after last night’s semi-final exit. Marcus, Luke and Vish are here with praise for PSG’s outrageous front three and criticism for Nagelsmann’s tactics – among other things…

We also expand on some of the plans being put in place to allow fans back into stadiums, look ahead to Bayern vs Lyon and get a Ronald Koeman update from the president of his fan club, Marcus Speller.

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: what changes would you make to food at football stadiums? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Romelu Lukaku keeps on scoring, David Silva departs, and another reliable Newcastle takeover rumour Aug 18, 2020

Romelu Lukaku’s done it again! Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to celebrate football’s premium bromance as Antonio Conte’s Inter advance to the Europa League final on the back of another cracking performance from the Belgian.

Elsewhere we bid farewell to some European stalwarts moving on to pastures new, as David Silva joins Real Sociedad and Blaise Matuidi links up with former teammate David Beckham at Inter Miami. And, sound the alarm yet again because there’s another Newcastle takeover rumour circling!

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: what changes would you make to food at football stadiums? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Manchester United rue missed chances, Pep Guardiola does it again, and Barcelona crumble Aug 17, 2020

Both European competitions served up some outrageous matches this weekend, which saw both Manchester sides eliminated and Barcelona reduced to rubble by a brutal Bayern Munich.

Marcus, Pete and Jim are here to get into all of that, as we wonder what happens now for the likes of Lionel Messi and Pep Guardiola. There’s also time for Joe Hart’s seismic return and a brand new edition of The Topics!

On this week's edition of The Topics, we want to know: what changes would you make to food at football stadiums? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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The Blizzard: Newcastle United 2-0 Blackpool, 1951 Aug 15, 2020

We celebrate Newcastle United's illustrious FA Cup history on today's episode of Greatest Games, in association with The Blizzard. Historian and author Dan Jackson joins us to look back at the 1951 FA Cup final, the first of three FA Cups Newcastle won in the 1950s!

A Newcastle side featuring legends such as Jackie Milburn and Chilean striker George Robledo beat Joe Smith's Blackpool in front of over 100,000 people at Wembley. We explore Newcastle's illustrious status at the time, as well as their victory in the final itself and its implications in what was a special time for North-East football.

This is the final episode in this season of Greatest Games–thank you all for listening. For more stories from the annals of football history, visit www.theblizzard.co.uk to explore their archives that contain over 700 articles of stories just like this one!

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The Preview Show: RB Leipzig squeeze past Atlético, Neuer vs Ter Stegen, and glorious punditry pettiness Aug 14, 2020

It was another victory for the Champions League underdogs last night, as RB Leipzig knocked out a stuttering Atlético Madrid. Jules, Luke and Andy wonder whether Diego Simeone’s time at Atleti is coming to an end and what we can expect from them in coming seasons.

We also look ahead to a cracking set of Champions League quarter-finals, assess the changes to next season’s schedule and celebrate some glorious pettiness from French pundit Eric Di Meco. Plus, Jules makes her Luke’s Game debut!

For the next question week on The Topics, we want to know: what changes would you make to food at football stadiums? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

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Heartbreak for Atalanta, Mesut Özil's Arsenal future, and Eric Cantona's vineyard Aug 13, 2020

Sadly, Atalanta's Champions League dream is over. Jules, Pete and Jim mourn the bubble that Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting’s last-gasp winner burst, before looking ahead to tonight’s edition of the Champions League Lisbon Extravaganza.

We also discuss the latest on Mesut Özil's situation at Arsenal (after his interview in The Athletic), and get some dating advice from Paul Dummett. There's even time for Eric Cantona's Champions League château and competition newbies Rennes waking up the neighbours!

Email us show@footballrambledaily.com or follow us on Twitter @FootballRamble.

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Wolves call off the hunt, the Champions League heads to Lisbon, and what's next for Daniel Sturridge? Aug 12, 2020

Well, after 59 games and 383 days, Wolves’ season has finally come to a close. Jules, Vish and Pete settle into the roasting hot studio to celebrate their amazing achievement, which culminated in a Europa League quarter-final three years after being in the Championship.

Elsewhere, we wonder what the future holds for Daniel Sturridge as he looks to return to the Premier League. We also get to some more of your Topics suggestions, which include the introduction of Enforcers and comedy aprons - among other filthy scenes…

All this week, we want to know what features you’d introduce to your own summer football tournament. Email us show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet @FootballRamble with #RambleTopics.

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Romelu Lukaku's form continues, turmoil at Bury FC, and Borussia Dortmund stand firm Aug 11, 2020

It wasn’t a vintage Manchester United performance last night against Copenhagen, but they did break through eventually and advanced to the next round. Kate, Jim and Andy are here to look over last night’s Europa League action, notably the incredible goalkeeping from Karl-Johan Johnsson and another cracking Romelu Lukaku performance.

We also catch up with the latest cheekiness from Dortmund and Leverkusen, as the respective Jadon Sancho and Kai Havertz transfer sagas roll on. And, after their application to rejoin the National League was rejected, we take a gander at the tumultuous scenes at Bury FC.

All this week, we want to know what features you’d introduce to your own summer football tournament. Email us show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet @FootballRamble with #RambleTopics.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Andrea Pirlo steps up to the plate, Man City march on, and Lionel Messi does it yet again Aug 10, 2020

The Champions League has returned, and Man City are in with a real chance of winning it all! Kate, Luke and Vish are here to marvel at their dominant win over Real Madrid as well as Pep Guardiola’s choice of novelty t-shirt.

Elsewhere, Barcelona fended off Napoli with some more Lionel Messi brilliance - which massively underwhelmed Vish. Meanwhile, after their loss to Lyon, Juventus have replaced Maurizio Sarri with the sexy work experience kid: Andrea Pirlo. Strange times!

All this week, we want to know what features you’d introduce to your own summer football tournament. Email us show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet @FootballRamble with #RambleTopics.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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The Blizzard: Watford 4-0 QPR, 1982 Aug 08, 2020

We're joined by the Mail On Sunday's Rob Draper for today's episode of Greatest Games (in association with The Blizzard) and we’re discussing a clash of English managerial greats!

When Graham Taylor's Watford took on Terry Venables' QPR in the Second Division in 1982, it represented a pivotal moment in the tactical history of English football. Marcus, Jonathan and Rob sit down to discuss this classic battle of pressing vs possession, and the similarity between this and the modern battles of Pep Guardiola and Jürgen Klopp.

For more stories from the annals of football history, visit www.theblizzard.co.uk to explore their archives that contain over 700 articles of stories just like this one!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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The Preview Show: Wolves’ European adventure continues, the Champions League returns, and our brand new feature! Aug 07, 2020

Get the anthem ready, because the Champions League is back! Marcus, Andy and Luke are here to look ahead to the return of European action, as Man City take on a rejuvenated Real Madrid and Lyon hope to sneak past Juventus.

Elsewhere, we celebrate Wolves advancing to the next round of the Europa League, discuss the new Nicolas Anelka documentary and play out another hugely tense round of Luke’s Game!

For the first question for our new segment, The Topics, we want to know: what features would you introduce in your own summer tournament? Email show@footballrambledaily.com or tweet us using #RambleTopics

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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The Europa League gets underway, Arsenal make several redundancies, and Iker Casillas hangs up his gloves Aug 06, 2020

European football is back! Jules, Pete and Andy are here to round up the first few Europa League matches from last night, before looking ahead to how Wolves and Man United might fare in the competition’s latter stages.

Elsewhere, we discuss Arsenal’s decision to make 55 staff members redundant and celebrate Iker Casillas’ amazing career after his retirement this week. There’s also plenty of chat on hair removal and eating whacking great slabs of meat too—if that’s your thing?

Search ‘Football Ramble’ on social media to find us, and email us here: show@footballram

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