Football Cliches

The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double saves, with Luke Moore Nov 21, 2024

The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transfers "a Bosman" and people whose footballing enthusiasm extends no further than their own team.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel - featuring returning legend Doc Brown - react to a Paraguayan football take on "hang it in the Louvre!", reflect on the quirks of Sky's mid-2000s PlayerCam innovation and unanimously condemn the word "thunderbastard".

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football” Nov 19, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.

Meanwhile, the panel gauge the lowest level a referee could have played at to satisfy the "never played the game" brigade and wonder if a centre-back can be described as a "hotshot”.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy": Cliches meets Sky Sports commentator Bill Leslie Nov 14, 2024

The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players' names.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

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xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathway Nov 12, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's co-comms & the "big five" of cheese Nov 07, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new book, Who Owns Football?

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Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the mid-2010s throw-in scandal Nov 05, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners.

Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of the 20 Premier League clubs and enjoy some sensational data journalism about elite-level throw-ins of the mid-2010s.

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Curses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors & Keysey's philosophers Oct 30, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.

Meanwhile, the panel establish the fundamental footballing differences between a curse and a hoodoo and discuss household objects that they instinctively control like footballs when dropped.

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Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL manager Oct 29, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990s tv quiz show.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown) Oct 23, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowing who your team's next opponents are.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some unexpected Premier League commentary in a Jamaican dancehall track and some rare well-researched football small talk in a TV drama.

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Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Salah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's biscuits & going down like a game of Jenga Oct 22, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the best players for each Premier League kick-off time and discuss how to behave while attending games as a neutral.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The definitive game for every football scoreline Oct 17, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline.

A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]” Oct 14, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places.

Meanwhile, the panel provide a guide to "Doing a [Club X]" and select European stadiums that look more like English ones (and vice versa.)

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches Quiz XV Oct 10, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia.

The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that never were, the 1997 Sony MiniDisc Euro Sixes, the agonising audio of mystery missed sitters, surprisingly unmemorable Premier League mascots, Happy Hunting Grounds and a football-trivia fight to the very end.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathon Oct 08, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on Richard Keys' claim to have watched every Premier League game ever.

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the most “you could see what he was trying to do there” football scenario and decide the most ideal team a stranger could support for the purposes of train-journey small talk.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities & the FPL universe, with Ellis Platten Oct 03, 2024

The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Ellis's selections are football fans with their first names printed on the back of their shirts, random football shirts popping up in unexpected places, the dubious criteria of the ongoing FootyScran project and, quite simply, everything about fantasy football.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel weigh up if a goalkeeper can be a "passenger", wonder how Alan Shearer became involved in the US presidential race, and enjoy the name of a football competition popping up in a 1970s RnB classic.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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An incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungle Sep 30, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" by Tim Sherwood, rugby union claiming a try was a "screamer" and Mick McCarthy going into the jungle.

Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define what it means to "tee up" a team-mate to shoot and take a deep dive into the classic hand gestures of substitutions.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Football's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experiment Sep 26, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the first half, people whose names sound like plausible Carabao Cup fourth-round ties, the best combined-years stat of all time and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a team being "in charge" and ponder a psychological experiment relating to second halves of matches.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Beating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for "nothing doing": The Listeners' fascinations and irritations Sep 24, 2024

Adam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the joys of getting ready for five-a-side much earlier than you need to, the smug satisfaction of noticing something before the commentators do, the under-explored world of football TV studio furniture and the quintessential conditions for "nothing doing".

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Footballing military ranks, Carabao chaos & a phrase only Sean Dyche would use Sep 19, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: amateur league fortresses, Kylian Mbappe ascends to the "If Player X did that" throne, Mark Clattenburg's common-sense overload, some heart-stopping radio commentary from the San Siro, a disgraceful Carabao Cup hat-trick definition, a truly Dychian turn of post-match interview phrase, 2019/20 Brighton squad members popping up in BBC drama series

Meanwhile, the panel detail the military ranks used in football and the do's and don't of goalscoring verbs in headlines

The Football Cliches Live tour is next week! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Jamie Carragher's match-ball voice, promotion fodder & three-sided fortresses Sep 16, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a story of Sunday League admin woe, Jamie Carragher's vocal impression of a match ball waiting to be headed home, some typically made-up-sounding US soccer jargon, Callum Hudson-Odoi's goal-trademarking credentials, Referees Names in Things and the difference between "return fixtures" and "reverse fixtures".

Meanwhile, the panel assure Oxford United that a three-sided stadium still be a "fortress" but fear for the future of the "if Player X had done that, we'd all be raving about it" concept.

The Football Cliches Live tour is next week! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Carsley culture, scorelines you'd take before the game & the most left-footed Premier League club Sep 11, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: predicting the cultural impact of Lee Carsley’s England reign, an Arsenal legend's name in the NFL, the acceptable context to use the word "side" for a team, yet more football-chant confusion in the audiobook world, and Richard Keys and Andy Gray's visit to Jon Obi Mikel's podcast.

Meanwhile, the panel decide which specific scorelines someone could say they would have “taken before the game” and the most left-footed club in Premier League history.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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”Welcome to League C", pointless penalty shootouts & the connoisseur's referee whistle Sep 10, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and, on loan from the Career We Go podcast, Bobby Faghihi. On the agenda: the Nations League receives another stamp of approval from the language of football, some time-bending commentary from the Asian zone of World Cup qualifying, David Pleat provides a poetic twist on a Proper Football Man classic, unacceptable language from the Man Utd ticket office, puzzling penalty shootouts for England Under-18s, Elon Musk's "Earth-Mars transfer window" and the international-break exploits of Richard Keys.

Meanwhile, the panel take a whistle-stop tour of the Acme catalogue of referees' whistles.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Silky Toblerones, Serbian football small talk & telepathic right-backs Sep 05, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the official Football Cliches Sporcle quiz, a beautifully baffling inclusion in a European footballer’s Wikipedia “Style of Play” section, elite-level football small talk in an early-2000s BBC drama series, the rather familiar name of New Zealand's 100m national record holder, an awkward footballing jigsaw-puzzle analogy and some scanning issues in the popular chant of "You're not fit to referee!"

Meanwhile, the panel decide which players in a team can be said to have a "telepathic" partnership and survey the the various proverbial materials that injury-prone footballers can be made out of.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Cometh the minute, poetic Andy Townsend and Keysey's quote-tweet masterpiece Sep 04, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Charlie Eccleshare's Talksport tennis cameo, Peter Drury's new goalscoring surname obsession, Eddie Howe on Oasis goes exactly as you'd imagine, some assorted transfer-window curiosities, Andy Townsend speaks in iambic pentameter and some viral refereeing video content nobody asked for.

Meanwhile, the panel decide if the "minute mark" of a game could ever be a thing, debate whether a lob can be "buried" and enjoy Richard Keys and the greatest quote-tweet of all time.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Adjudication Panel: The minutes left vs blood pressure ratio Aug 28, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Michael Dawson's entry into the "so-called" pantheon, the latest bit of Romanian football-related small talk on Corrie, the threshold for "we owe them one", and the identity of the default Premier League website player silhouette REVEALED.

Meanwhile, the panel marvel at an astonishing bit of agricultural metaphoring thanks to Ipswich Town's return to the Premier League

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Adjudication Panel: Sparking a stroll, rickets vs howlers, and the Champions League anthem revamp Aug 27, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a welcome variation on a 'bit of both' from Gary Neville, the benefits of being as precise as possible when denoting how far out a goal is scored from, David Raya's sextet of goal-adjacent water bottles, and the weirdest 'for my sins' on a football phone-in ever.

Meanwhile, the panel deliver their verdict on the subtle Champions League theme revamp

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Players spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering: The listeners' loves & hates Aug 21, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the anxiety-inducing moment that the score disappears from the screen during a TV game, European superclubs who have other sports teams affiliated with them, players catching a glimpse of themselves on the big screen and when ironic cheering of the referee goes too far.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Adjudication Panel: Big nutmegs, premature pacesetters & footballing disciples Aug 19, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The strangest way yet of expressing how young Brighton's manager is, a factual footballing catastrophe on an episode of Casualty, the most Peter Drury way of describing a player's pre-season performances, pre-game punditry wisdom and a curious story about Ajax's 1995 Champions League-winning team.

Meanwhile, the panel decide when a team can be described as a division's "pacesetters" and who can be a "disciple" of an influential coach.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Adjudication Panel: Transfer limbo, Romania '94 small talk & Merson does Strictly Aug 14, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Diego Forlan as the most "tennis" footballer of modern times, some 8/10 football small talk on Coronation Street, the Premier League's ominous plans to tweet out VAR explanations in real time, the end of an era for the BBC and Garth Crooks, a superb fan-vs-player argument from non-league and Paul Merson's Strictly unveiling.

Meanwhile, the panel reflect on some early teething problems for Sky's blanket EFL coverage and field the first-ever correspondence from a listener in Madagascar.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Adjudication Panel: Sleeping horses and Harry Kane's complex classy touch Aug 12, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: new heights for the concept of "peak Watford", one last round-up of curious Olympic commentary, whether you can "crash out" of the Community Shield, a rusty opening Football League weekend for users of the language of football, the most perfect refereeing appointment in Football League history and Harry Kane refusing to lift a trophy on his return to the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

Meanwhile, the panel sympathise with a Guardian article correction and provide the definitive list of things you can be "handed" in football.

The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester on the 23rd & 24th September with a brand new show. Tickets available at: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The "Summer 2024 Transfers That Just Feel So Right" XI Aug 07, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Nick's unexpectedly gruelling journey to witness Jose Mourinho's managerial return, the continuing battle of the "knowledgeable" Olympic crowds, the most uncompromising coaches imaginable at a kids football camp, a highly-rated League One press officer and some more footballing road-sign inconsistency.

Meanwhile, the panel select a lineup based on this summer's transfers that just seemed destined to happen, including Kasper Schmeichel's inevitable Old Firm move, various Turkish Super Lig signings, elite journeymen...but not Oli McBurnie to Las Palmas.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Adjudication Panel: Carbon-copy commentary & where clubs store their pre-season minutes Aug 05, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some gloriously harmonious Olympic football commentary, some FA Cup revenge 72 years in the making, Man City's kick-off-delaying shame and a definitive analysis of where Premier League teams proverbially store their pre-season minutes.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some niche Olympic highlights and decide which opening-weekend Premier League fixture has the most “watch it in a bar on holiday” energy.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Adjudication Panel: Footballers with Olympicy names & Unexpected Kevin Keegan Jul 31, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the moral implications of winning Most Improved Player two years in a row, the latest soap opera footballing small talk, a former England manager popping up in a 1980s US teen drama, the new Juventus away kit scraping the barrel for its inspiration and Richard Keys rolling back the years.

Meanwhile, the panel select footballers who have overwhelmingly Olympic names.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Adjudication Panel: Steve Coogan is playing Mick McCarthy in a film, what else is there to talk about? Jul 29, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether you can "build a team around" a left-back, a data dive into a flippant newspaper line about Danny Drinkwater’s corner-taking, Steve Coogan's forthcoming role as Mick McCarthy in a film about the Roy Keane incident at the 2002 World Cup, an EFL shirt crisis and some more of society's obscure awards

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up whether Alexandre Lacazette is the textbook overage Olympic football squad member and decide the threshold for holding up an absent team-mate’s shirt during a goal celebration.

Adam also announces his new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, which is available to pre-order:

https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Football Clichés Quiz XIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper Jul 25, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz returns and the latest opposition for the Clichés team are the world football experts from The Sweeper podcast, whose focus is the furthest-flung corners of the footballing globe.

The questions include semi-forgotten all-Welsh strikeforces, title-winning island clubs, Swansea defenders with unexpected royal lineage, countries who don’t have their own league, made-up Dutch internationals, an obscure league where referees show blue cards and some tense FIFA world rankings action.

You can listen to The Sweeper here: https://linktr.ee/SweeperPod

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The Adjudication Panel: "A real plomb", big-match dust-settling & the worst football Q&A night ever Jul 22, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Alan Pardew reacting to the big US politics developments, fully media-trained MLS 14-year-olds, how much attention we should be paying to Olympic football, Nike's last ever Premier League match ball and the lineup for the worst Q&A evening in football history.

Meanwhile, the panel decide how long it takes for "the dust to settle" after a big game and weigh up some technicalities over behind-closed-doors friendlies.

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Squad arrival videos, MOTM substitutes & watching football on holiday: The listeners' loves & hates Jul 17, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are working out how embracing opposition players became friends, the mundane rise of the "squad arrivals" video, watching football in a bar on holiday, late substitutes getting the Player of the Match award, the decline of footballers' autographs and the recent phenomenon of players geeing up the crowd after winning a goal kick.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess the latest Euro 2024 reference in EastEnders and whether you can "slice" a penalty wide.

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The Adjudication Panel: Unhinged pre-match montages & Heartbreak vs Heartache (2024 edition) Jul 15, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the final Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether England's tournament failure was a "heartbreak" or "heartache", the Peak Montage moment of the pre-match coverage, the psychological pay-off of putting yourself through an opposition trophy lift, Chelsea's genre-revitalising marketing spiel for their new kit, a job advert for a VAR operator at Stockley Park and a quindecuple signing in League Two.

Meanwhile, the panel strive for the technical definition of a player “popping it round the corner” to a teammate and decide the threshold for a "big money" transfer in 2024.

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The Adjudication Panel: From Talksport to NATO - a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1 Jul 11, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1 (from Talksport to NATO via spoon-benders, chess grandmasters and The Killers), the true fan anthem of the Euros summer, a questionable chant for an international match and where Ollie Watkins now sits on the England clamour ranking.

Meanwhile, the panel assess whether a Golden Boot winner scoring less than six goals can really be taken seriously and the big pre-season question: can an outswinging corner be described as "vicious"?

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The Adjudication Panel: Euro 2024's future Premier League forgettables & the Jordan Pickford penalty-heroics threshold Jul 08, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an unexpected footballer's name pops up in the General Election polls, a radio commentator synchronising effortlessly with the crowd noise, a potential new twist in "penalties are a lottery" discourse, a cultural review of England's penalty shootout against Switzerland, whether Spain's last-minute win over Germany counts as a "dispatching" and the relative merits of displaying the clock in extra time as 90:00-120:00 (ITV) or 00:00-30:00 (BBC).

Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of game best suits the "never in doubt [wink emoji]" sentiment and assess a list of mid-range Euro 2024 performers who seem destined for a forgettable Premier League future.

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The Adjudication Panel: Misstiano Penaldo, "The Misquoted One” & arm-wrestling with Martin Keown Jul 04, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Wimbledon tennis doing Wimbledon tennis things, a perfectly wrong football analogy on election day, the BBC's Cristiano Ronaldo penalty caption saga, how teams "make friends" at major tournaments, new Brighton manager Fabian Hurzeler gets the Mourinho treatment on day one, the most "high street estate agents" footballer name,

Meanwhile, the panel decide the specific scenario that best suits the observation of "good feet" and enjoy Every News At Ten Report of the Football Match You Watched Just Before News At Ten, Ever

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The Adjudication Panel: The England clamour table, bending your run & dancing on the streets of City X Jul 01, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: which player is at the front of the England clamour queue now, Jude Bellingham's self-referential goal celebration, the joy of Ally McCoist reacting to slow-motion replays, which Euros nations' capital-city streets are most likely to be "danced on", the transferrable football skill of "bending your run" in daily life and some concerning news about Mexican waves.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder the acceptability of the tournament-exit verb "grouped" and whether anything can be "vintage Lamine Yamal".

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The Adjudication Panel: The unifying experience of watching England struggle to play football Jun 27, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Stockholm syndrome of England at their laborious worst, Sir Geoff Hurst's silky-smooth product placement on Sky Sports News, one man's fantasy European competition for second-division clubs, and Keysey's inevitable mid-tournament solution for the Three Lions.

Meanwhile, the panel explore the meaning of the physical footballing state of being "leggy", with some help from Clive Tyldesley and Martin O'Neill.

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The Adjudication Panel: Martin Keown's GCSEs, Pro Evo Jules Kounde & when nations hold their breath Jun 24, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Ali Maxwell for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the depths of Euros short-form video content, a curious commentator intonation for a full-back receiving a pass in their own half, a dramatic VAR development in Major League Soccer, why some England managers get referred to by their first names and Messi/Ronaldo sentiment reaching the world of transfer reporting.

Meanwhile, the panel also explore the nuanced rules of demonymic footballing adjectives and the mid-tournament trigger point for a nation being described as "holding its breath".

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The Adjudication Panel: The vocabulary of an England group-stage draw & Euro 2024’s Commentator’s Curse Jun 21, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024.

The agenda includes: the inevitable keywords of the latest England group-stage non-event, some eerily good Euros predictions from the pod back in December, the rampant Commentator’s Curse of Euro 2024, whether Arda Guler’s wondergoal met the “a star is born” threshold, some classic Andy Townsend punditry, a Dutch take on football clichés discourse, the textbook host-nation scenario and a surprise guest on a YouTube watchalong.

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The Adjudication Panel: The Euros that didn't need to burst into life Jun 17, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024.

The agenda includes: the (very predictable) reaction to England's laborious win over Serbia, Gabriel Clarke (sort of) gives his update on the mood in the Cliches podcast camp, which country are "the most Group C team ever", what makes a shot go "agonisingly wide" and more niche highlights from the Euros so far.

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The Pure European Championship XI Jun 13, 2024

On the eve of Euro 2024, Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to select a lineup of players most inextricably linked with the European Championship.

The deliberations feature a strict Greeks and Czechs quota, the "Kopke vs Toldo" dilemma, a Silver Goal scorer in the heart of the defence, a dinker, a scooper and a disgraced former UEFA president in midfield, a clamour for Alan Dzagoev, a frankly inevitable bias towards Euro 2004, Will Grigg on fire (and on the bench) and a battle of the one-hit wonders up front.

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The Adjudication Panel: 1.4 billion years of hurt, Grealish's mayo hell & the opening-game formula Jun 10, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an alternative methodology for calculating England's "years of hurt", the latest a team can take the lead "inside X minutes", the scourge of midfielders being included among the "forwards" in international squad graphics, the obligatory Euro 2024 "dark horses" debate, the Jack Grealish/Hellmann's mayonnaise Euros marketing calamity and obscure Arsenal figures namechecked in video games

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the merits of Germany vs Scotland as an opening game and field some important listener questions on hailing, left pegs and players who can "slot in".

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Capos, club mentalities & calculating England's actual years of hurt: The listeners' loves & hates Jun 05, 2024

Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the "capo" (the one who conducts the Ultras chants with his back to the game), the joy of just kicking a football right up into the air as high as possible, clubs who have a generation-spanning “mentality” attributed to them, the horrifying split-second when the ball is passed out of frame during a TV game and - once and for all - just how many “years of hurt” it has technically been for England.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on yet another skincrawling moment for footballspeak in the political sphere and pick apart the mandatory pre-tournament custom of team-by-team guides.

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The Adjudication Panel: Mourinho in Turkey, 71 billion calories & a football club every 2.24 seconds Jun 03, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Adam Lallana squeezing in the phrase "football club" three times in just 6.8 seconds, Gareth Bale declaring himself the last piece of Real Madrid's mid-2010s jigsaw, a former Chelsea captain popping up in The Wire, un-highlights-able sports and a very brief history of England's pre-tournament warm-up games.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy the inevitable development that was Jose Mourinho to Fenerbache and decide if you can declare a tournament's "surprise package" in advance.

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Clicheship Years: 2023/24 May 30, 2024

With the curtain now closed on the domestic season, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2023/24. In the style of the bafflingly beloved Premier League Years, this review features:

A protracted summer transfer saga, the Pure La Liga XI, the finer technicalities of “ghosting in”, the birth of quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds, Gary Neville's unexpected Squid Game cameo, Eddie Howe being Eddie Howe, washing machines that sound like referees, The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI, goalscoring chances that get "gobbled up", the Clichés Quiz taking on podcasting all-comers, the complex sovereignty of James Ward-Prowse territory, Andy Gray’s pretend conversations, "Gary Del Neil" and a long-awaited visit from Gary Lineker.

The Football Clichés pod will continue throughout the summer, including Euro 2024 and more.

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The Adjudication Panel: Double swoops, double saves & Down Under with Eddie Howe May 27, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Eddie Howe's trip to the set of Neighbours, a technical query on the Premier League's save of the season, a stunning Match of the Day coincidence, Gus Poyet's JFK secret revealed and some heavy-metal Keys & Gray.

Meanwhile, the panel decide when a club is truly "established" in the Premier League and whether signing two players from different clubs could ever be a "double swoop”.

GET YOUR FOOTBALL CLICHES MERCH HERE: formysins.shop

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The Football Clichés Quiz XIII: Cliches vs Dial F for Football May 23, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz returns and this month's opposition for the Clichés crew is Tayo Popoola, Mark G Smith and Stuart Laws who are the brains behind scripted football comedy podcast Dial F for Football.

The colourful questions include a kit-manufacturer mystery, players who somehow never signed for West Ham, ludicrous La Liga nicknames, Steve McManaman's unique units of footballing measurement, musical footballers, Premier League shortarses, some more classic foreign-language dubbing and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds.

Listen to Dial F for Football here:

https://podfollow.com/1731856306/view

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The Adjudication Panel: Pep's ice cream van, popping up with a goal & an "absolute football club” May 20, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: another commentator answering their own rhetorical question, a brand new "good X for a big man" variation, a tuneful Serie A commentary exclamation, a Match of the Day protocol scandal, a superb rendition of a bragging-rights commentary classic and an all-conquering Manchester ice-cream merchant.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder which goals you can and cannot "pop up" to score and enjoy Keys & Gray's passionately-justified Premier League teams of the season.

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Hi-tech hoardings & tactically illiterate World XIs: The listeners' loves & hates May 15, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the slow-motion facial expression of choice for a missed chance, why players don't take practice swings before dead-ball situations, the cynical optical illusion of double advertising hoardings and the scourge of fantasy XIs that have no tactical balance.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on Ange Postecoglou's emotional week, some more bemoaning of underappreciated English managers and the secret behind Manchester City's era of Premier League dominance.

GET YOUR FOOTBALL CLICHES MERCH HERE: formysins.shop

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The Adjudication Panel: "Why can't they go on and win it?" May 13, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: mangled football chants in sportswear adverts, a textbook crisis-deepener for Manchester United, some re-recorded commentary curiosity, more Football Names in Things and a brief history of last pieces of Premier League jigsaws.

Meanwhile, the panel examine a use of "who else but" for a goalscorer in ice hockey and reassess the "a goal worthy of" threshold.

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The Adjudication Panel: Mid-2000s Premier League antiques & how the square goalpost met its end May 09, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Tom Williams on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: 1930s musical-inspired chants for Premier League right-backs, the mystery player behind a Premier League Player of the Month trophy on eBay, an unlikely after-dinner-speaking football duo, a perfectly-preserved cultural artefact in the men's toilets at Tranmere Rovers, why the EFL needs to fix its promotion-celebration banners, and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy one of European football's cult controversies from Tom's new book Va-Va-Voom: The Modern History of French Football and hear how France has embraced Premier League club nicknames.

Get your Football Cliches merch here:

https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches

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The Adjudication Panel: Four-star Haaland & the most elaborate football analogy in modern politics May 07, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Erling Haaland confounds football's obsession with the star-rating system, Sky Sports News hunting down Arne Slot, Jamie Carragher on the Toy Story franchise, Peter Crouch misunderstanding rollercoasters and Keys & Gray's new refereeing admin nemesis is revealed.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy an above-average moment for football analogies in the political sphere.

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Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more? May 02, 2024

The pod welcomes Gary Lineker for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Match of the Day host and England legend chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Gary's selections are his growing curiosity about expected goals, the psychology of penalty shootouts, the death of strikers rounding goalkeepers, a not-so-radical solution for quick free kicks, overindulgent TV slow-motion replays and the futile duty of pre-match interviews with managers.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel bemoan the misuse of "high-flying" for teams who don't need it and ask Gary a very important question about a Match of the Day tradition.

Get your Football Cliches merch here:

https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches

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The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI Apr 29, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether Arsenal won the north London derby "the hard way", when Sarcastic Pep becomes impossible to separate from Normal Pep, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, teams "sealing" relegation, more footballspeak at the snooker, a footballer-sounding shampoo innovation and Harry Redknapp opening a local supermarket.

Meanwhile, the panel analyse a listener's Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI and enjoy some more vintage Andy Gray co-commentary.

Get your Football Cliches merch here:

https://www.100-percent.co.uk/collections/football-cliches

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The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show Apr 25, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again and this month the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of the Totally Football Show's Michael Cox, Jay Harris and Sasha Goryunov.

The questions include managers who just know their clubs, Monday Night Football hotbeds, Player of the Month merchants, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, 'bit of both' punditry line-ups and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round.

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The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor" Apr 22, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some commentary highlights from the FA Cup semi-finals, a classic anti-VAR put-down, a surprise trumpet player on a George Michael album, football chat at the snooker once again, Guardian Football Weekly debating glancing headers and Thomas Muller ending the most tenuous footballing drought of all time.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss what type of goal is best described as "a peach" and decide the maximum number of players involved in an X-on-Y counter-attack.

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All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis: The listeners' loves & hates Apr 17, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who doesn't know where the ball is, a genuinely worrying peripheral astroturf hang-up, the downsides of teams from the same country being drawn together in Europe and the impact of the iPad on managerial decorum after their team has conceded a very specific type of goal.

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The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way" Apr 15, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: players forgetting it's a cup game in their post-match interview, notably young referees, Wayne Rooney's childhood Match of the Day dream, Barclays-era referees popping up in The Simpsons and Andy Gray answering his own questions.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss teams "trying to score the perfect goal" and enjoy Matt Le Tissier being out-weirded for once.

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Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks Apr 11, 2024

The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the underdog, overseas fans' fascination with English football, the temptation of recency bias, the grilled shrimp at Minnesota United and the overcomplication of football terminology.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel grill their guest on the art of teasing your co-commentator and enjoy his recorded audio for Pro Evolution Soccer 2013.

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The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas Apr 08, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers called Pete and people talking like Richard Keys in unexpected places.

Meanwhile, the panel bemoan some hasty Panenka-declaring and decide the derby most likely to inspire the words "in these parts".

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The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis Apr 03, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist guessing the tune of a football chant, a unique goalscoring verb, Richard Keys on his own Wikipedia page and why there aren't any footballers called "Pete".

Meanwhile, the panel decide if a corner can be described as "[Player X] territory" and whether it's possible to score from a tight angle on the halfway line.

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The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’ Apr 01, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether a very specific type of penalty decision is really in the spirit of the game, Gary Neville on Beyonce, Andy Gray's greatest hits, and Richard Keys’ career advice for Xabi Alonso.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many passes constitute a "string" and whether a player has ever scored a goal with the "middle" kick of the game.

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The Football Cliches Quiz #11 Mar 28, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again as the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of Scottish football experts The Terrace for a three-round Battle of Britain.

The questions include international allegiance switchers, potentially Satanic backwards football audio, Anglo-Scottish exports, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, semi-forgotten Old Firm Englishmen and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round.

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The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale Mar 26, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Being "among the goals" (and, even worse, "among the assists"), whether Endrick really did "light up Wembley", if friendlies count as the "Road to [Tournament Host Nation X]" and whether the word "goalposts" is set for footballing extinction.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder which player has their "prime" cited the most before ranking and rating the terms used for an individual player being a constant threat to a specific team.

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Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics Mar 21, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there will be before the fourth official holds the board aloft, the curious lack of a genuine market leader for shin pads, the aesthetics of long-range efforts going in at the near post and the anxiety of trying to choose which game to follow during the overlapping Premier League games on Amazon Prime.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if you can use "leading the line" for a centre-back and enjoy an egregious example of footballspeak on American TV.

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The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness Mar 19, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jonathan Pearce's most Partridge moment to date, the parameters of a "pivotal" win, some inspired sleep-related footballspeak from Matty Cash, and the first ever recorded example of a commentator heralding an opener by saying "could it be one?".

Meanwhile, the panel ponder what sort of chance would be described as a "good one by his standards" and we look forward to a clash for the ages as Richard Keys' Coventry City are drawn against Erik ten Toast's Manchester United.

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The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden Mar 14, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: footballspeak in the darts world, Rio Ferdinand on locksmiths, League One clubs tweeting like heartbroken teenagers, football-inspired parenting and some planning permission woe for Alan Curbishley.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether a penalty can be put "back where it came from" and whether a goal confirmed by goal-line technology can be described as "fired home".

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The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]" & Knuckleball on Corrie Mar 12, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Guy Mowbray slips back into footballspeak on Gladiators, some free-kick technique on Coronation Street, the use of "over to you" in Premier League title races, a 4/10 Super Sunday promo montage, Anfield's "sucking the ball into the net" tradition turned on its head and some Keys & Gray chat that BeIN Sports didn't want us to hear...

Meanwhile, the panel decide whether a goal can be "taken well" with a header and enjoy a rare, unifying crowd noise from Villa Park.

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The Adjudication Panel: Great White Shark 0 Killer Whale 1 (72 mins) Mar 07, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a new twist for "the streets will never forget", news of a textbook away win for a killer whale, some baffling Football Focus revisionism, the "dropping like flies" threshold, and Keys & Gray get stuck into IFAB's latest tweaks to the laws of the game.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the direction you should write out a starting lineup and run through a Premier League table of nicknames that lend themselves to describing victory or defeat in headlines

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The Adjudication Panel: the Haaland missed sitter incredulity Mar 05, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a comprehensive review of the Haaland missed sitter incredulity, footballspeak finding its way into the World Indoor Athletics Championships, the great gap vs gulf vs chasm debate, Ollie Watkins' Weston-Super-Mare origin story, and yet another attempt by Keys & Gray to identify the next Manchester United manager.

Meanwhile, the panel define the difference between being in the mix, in the conversation, in the hunt and in the shake up.

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The Football Cliches Quiz X Feb 29, 2024

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its tenth edition and, for the first time, the Clichés pod team up to take on the trivia might of the Career We Go Podcast across six rounds of niche football knowledge.

Posers include clubs who’ve never had an Adidas kit, Coventry’s forgotten Euro 2000 star, Premier League one-game wonders, A.I. translations of cult football outbursts, managerial microphilosophies, tantalisingly-revealed career paths and the Cliches pod's very own Happy Hunting Grounds round.

Check out the Career We Go Podcast here: https://linktr.ee/careerwego

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The Adjudication Panel: G-Nev's adjectives, cynical finishes & gobbling up chances Feb 27, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Gary Neville breaking an obscure rule of the English language, "doing the hard bit" before delivering a cross, unexpected Serie A references on Gladiators, the textbook scenario for a striker "gobbling up" a chance, a welcome return for "In & Around" Corner, and Keys & Gray's footballing weekend.

Meanwhile, the panel imagine what a "cynical" finish would look like and what constitutes "the minimum of fuss"

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The Adjudication Panel: Lithuanian ultimate frisbee & how to divide up a league table Feb 22, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the cut-off point for being able to say you work "in football", some curious commentary from the Lithuanian ultimate frisbee scene, a non-league co-commentator who exists almost purely in vowel sounds, the least perilous disciplinary tightrope of all time and the language of Champions League first legs.

Meanwhile, the panel decide the entry requirements for football's "exclusive clubs" and debate where the dotted lines should be drawn on a league table.

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The Adjudication Panel: Sensory football, a 27-second bright start & the war on socks Feb 20, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the shortest bright start ever made to a football match, mid-2000s Man Utd workhorses popping up in US crime serials, the most cited of the five senses in football commentary, Keir Starmer's latest pre-election football analogy and Richard Keys' war on socks.

Meanwhile, the panel decide how far "a stone's throw" from a stadium is allowed to be and uncover a pro-Fulham TV drama conspiracy

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”Genuine height", European banana skins and the listeners' fascinations & irritations Feb 15, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' February entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are mishit shots that turn into crossfield passes, players going to absurd lengths to convince a referee they got the ball in a tackle, when both sets of fans applaud a passage of play, full-backs refusing to readjust their shorts and montages that constantly remind you of a famous goal your team conceded.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if a player can have "genuine height" and if "potential banana skin" is appropriate for the Champions League knockout stages.

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The Adjudication Panel: Midfield "quarterbacks" & Montell Jordan's right-backs Feb 13, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The precise moment we allow ourselves to tell a goalbound free kick to "go on", a soap opera commanders a Premier League cultural cornerstone, Sean Dyche tackles his latest "trendy" scourge of modern football, an unexpected manager in a Siouxsie & The Banshees track and Montell Jordan sings about 1990s English right-backs.

Meanwhile, the panel pinpoint the rise and fall of the "quarterback" role in football, enjoy a very indignant letter to a newspaper about their use of football-club suffixes and decide the least "long-sleeved" position on the pitch.

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Les Dennis, paintbrush volleys & the Quiz Question XI Feb 08, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Les Dennis questions “the woodwork”, a never-before-heard alternative to "meat and drink", a prescient 2016 interview by Harry Redknapp, some unexpected footballer names in Murder, She Wrote and the concept of the "paintbrush volley".

Meanwhile, the panel pick Robert Earnshaw as their captain in a lineup of truly trivial players in the Pure Quiz Question XI.

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The Adjudication Panel: Horror shows, title blows and “different custard” Feb 06, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the parameters for a goalkeeping "horror show", Turkish footballer names in Scandinavian crime dramas, the rigid language of Chelsea home defeats, the charmingly basic logic of England's pre-Euros warm-up opponents and, inevitably, Richard Keys on Arsenal's post-match celebrations.

Meanwhile, the panel examine just what makes a manager "wily" (apart from being Scottish) and decide when it's too much of a lost cause to grab the ball out of the net after a consolation goal.

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Ref sandwiches, "teapot finishes" & the Premier League Mid-Point XI Feb 01, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Chris Wilder's curious refereeing complaint, an uncertain start to Mark Clattenburg's Gladiators role, an unexpected commentator's name on Silent Witness, and Tony Gale gives us the most baffling description of an effort on goal we've ever heard.

Meanwhile, the panel select one of their most delicately-balanced XIs so far: a lineup of players who represent the truest mid-point of Premier League talent, the most mid-table side ever assembled, a celebration of top-flight averageness in its purest sense.

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The Adjudication Panel: FA Cup illusions & Andy Townsend’s octopus goalie Jan 30, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a fascinating audio illusion from West Brom vs Wolves, Ally McCoist & Andy Townsend's analysis of an Animal XI, commentator Jonathan Pearce ruins a French child's birthday, a niche but fundamental error of judgment in Michael Carrick’s autobiography and English football stadiums that sound like people.

Meanwhile, the panel try to envisage "the most FA Cup type of goal" and decide whether "the last kick of the game" can ever be a header.

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The Adjudication Panel: The Lampardian Transition, 2014-2024 Jan 25, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Frank Lampard finally acknowledging his niche habit, some textbook crowd scenes at the snooker, the commentary hero of AFCON 2024 so far, a long-overdue appreciation of the yellow footballs used for indoor 5-a-side and Charlie produces a revelation in For My Sins Corner.

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the the logic of people who hate football and identify the most "you’d run through a brick wall for them" manager.

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The Adjudication Panel: Footholds, foreign contingents & death metal midfielders Jan 23, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The criteria for a club looking to "kick on from here", a Canadian take on the cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke, a Man Utd midfielder popping up in a death metal track, goalkeepers being "beaten all ends up" and Alan Pardew takes on Richard Keys.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the criteria for a team being called "toothless", a side getting a "foothold" in a match and how many players from one country you need for a "contingent".

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The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI Jan 18, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a special January transfer window project: selecting a lineup of players who somehow never turned out for particular clubs.

The selection panel throw around thoughts such as which Old Firm club would have signed Mark Bosnich, just what it is about Younes Kaboul that suits QPR so much, how is it possible that Wayne Routledge spent ten years at Swansea, Peter Crouch: pure Fulham and much, much more.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel appreciate some incredible pub-chat footballspeak, admire Ally McCoist and Andy Townsend in their element on Talksport and listen to a politician colliding with football yet again, with predictably horrific results.

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The Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League fixture there never was Jan 16, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some glorious urging-to-shoot from Watford's away fans, Seamus Coleman and the most loyal 3.67 seconds in football history, a commentator's unexpected darts digression, football words that "get bandied about a lot" and an unacceptably emphatic announcement of added-on time.

Meanwhile, the panel envisage the exact opposite of a "striker's goal" and decide the most surprising fixture the Premier League has never seen.

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A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoia Jan 11, 2024

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal updates from games everyone is watching anyway and some very relatable throw-in paranoia.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a 90s Irish footballer with a glorious name and question if two players can “swap goals” in a 1-1 draw.

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The Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in football history Jan 09, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some ski-jumping commentary, fundamental football words we never knew had been cancelled, the minimum requirement for an FA Cup "journey" and the longest ever delay between a goal being scored and the away fans celebrating at the other end.

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the "It's just like watching Brazil" threshold, decide which stadium PA announcement would get the least response from a crowd and it's Eccleshare vs Miller in a Happy Hunting Grounds quiz-off.

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The Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound like referees Jan 04, 2024

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the first Adjudication Panel of 2024. The agenda includes: Matt Upson co-commentating on the rain, home appliances that sound like football things, barrel-scraping content in elite players' autobiographies, a long-overdue confession from Roque Santa Cruz and Richard Keys' Erik ten Hag impression.

Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of shot constitutes a "piledriver" and whether a chance can be "tucked wide”.

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The Football Cliches Quiz IX Dec 26, 2023

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its ninth edition, and after years of standing on the sidelines it's finally the turn of David Walker to step up to the plate and take on defending champion Adam Hurrey, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare once again assuming the role of quizmaster.

Walker and Hurrey battle it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Stuart Pearce's favourite areas of outstanding natural beauty, who Richard Keys likes to talk to about his blog in the gym, Premier League training ground name battles and much more.

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The Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a Club World Cup? Dec 21, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the final Adjudication Panel of 2023. The agenda includes: the football-as-chess-match analogy going too far, which club are most strongly associated with "languishing", if the current Championship table is the most Championship-looking in recent memory and a concerning new colloquialism among the refereeing family.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how we will consume a 32-team, month-long Club World Cup.

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The Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the bus at the Battle of Kursk Dec 19, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a tenuous talking point from Liverpool 0-0 Man Utd, Brazilian commentators fascinated by the East Anglian derby, an unprecedented new alternative word for "goalkeeper", a former Premier League defender’s name buried in Turkish psychedelic folk and a bumper edition of Keys & Gray Corner.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder an unexpected football reference in a sombre World War II podcast and enjoy an English football phrase that is slowly contaminating US corporate culture.

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Centre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial" Dec 14, 2023

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable thrill of a 50-50 challenge between players with the same shirt number, lumbering centre-backs who suddenly find themselves out on the wing, the unwritten laws of a referee playing advantage and teams not bothering to launch an attack in first-half injury time.

Meanwhile, the Cliché pod announces its 2024 live tour, which visits Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin, Leeds, Bristol and London in February and March.

Join the Adjudication Panel for the most gloriously pedantic night in football history: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

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The Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public transportation" Dec 12, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Sean Dyche's multi-platform campaign against inauthentic goal celebrations, some truly wholesome commentary from the BBC's Jonathan Pearce, "the Mesut Ozil of public transportation", an 8/10 footballer's name in something, a tremendous Premier League Years-related story and the most sensual post-match interviewer of all time.

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up an intriguing "ketchup bottle" metaphor for ending a goal drought, rate Joseph Fiennes' Gareth Southgate voice and speculate what the "sting" is that gets "taken out of the game".

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Copycat knee-sliders & kicking balls into skips: Chloe Petts does Mesut Haaland Dicks Dec 07, 2023

The pod welcomes comedian Chloe Petts for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six most niche fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Chloe's selections are the precarious vocal range of solo football chanters, the rise of copycat goal celebrations, members of the public kicking balls into thing for half-time on-pitch entertainment, the indignity of the unused-sub warm-down, the lack of true toxicity in the WSL and forecasting where managerial touchline fashion trends go next.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel rule on Amazon Prime Video's pioneering addition to the traditional on-screen score graphic and enjoy Eddie Howe's very "football manager" birthday message to a 100-year-old.

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The Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma hides the jam jars" Dec 05, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the 'goalscoring formality' commentator intonation, the best off-pitch storming the Premier League has ever seen, Gary Neville's audio cameo in Squid Game: The Challenge, a new Italian contender to describe the top corner and Richard Keys lays out the future for Manchester United.

Meanwhile, the panel debate what it means for a team to "come unstuck", choose the most Euros-y Euro 2024 group and decide if there should be a height limit to be called a "maestro".

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The Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid? Nov 30, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an inevitable Championship chant, the final reckoning for Harry Redknapp's car window, the first name on the teamsheet for a PGMOL Fast-Tracked Ex-Player Referees XI and a new low for football in films.

Meanwhile, Charlie and David go head-to-head once again in Premier League goalscoring quiz Happy Hunting Grounds.

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The Adjudication Panel: The things in football you can 'ooze' Nov 28, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Peter Drury's weather reports, the crucial difference between being "found out" and "worked out", things you can "ooze" in football, and who can and cannot be said to have "graced the Premier League".

Meanwhile, the panel take a close look at a magnificent YouTube 90s football project and envisage the archetypal "seen 'em given" penalty incident.

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Football freestylers & Sunday league rondo etiquette Nov 23, 2023

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the very deliberate way managers drink their bottled water, a deep dive into amateur-level stud selection, an unfathomable fetish for free kicks into the box that bounce all the way in, the merits of football freestylers, the etiquette of pre-match Sunday League rondos and goalkeepers who look like they've carried the ball out of the box before kicking it from their hands.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel anticipate Richard Keys' TikTok debut and contemplate whether an entire club can be described as "a Rolls-Royce".

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The Adjudication Panel: 'The Scott McTominay of antibiotics' Nov 21, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: bands named after footballers, fixtures being described as "mouthwatering" after they've happened, "the Scott McTominay of antiobiotics" and who exactly a player's "opposite number" is.

Meanwhile, there's a photo-finish in For My Sins Corner and Charlie's out for revenge in Premier League goals quiz Happy Hunting Grounds.

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The Pure EFL XI Nov 16, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Ali Maxwell - co-creator of the Not The Top 20 podcast - to take on the daunting task of selecting a lineup of players that embody the Football League in all its glory.

The selection panel weigh up a long list of ex-England Under-21 goalkeepers, stalwarts who dragged their clubs up through the divisions, players turned pundits, playmakers who dropped down the ladder to shine and cheerfully relentless goal machines.

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The Adjudication Panel: How many errors make a comedy of errors? Nov 14, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the inside story of a viral Sunday League wondergoal, the Premier League's Twitter account crosses a line, a Luton fan's incredibly niche spreadsheet and how Blackburn Rovers briefly got embroiled in the Iraq War

Meanwhile, the panel debate what constitutes a "rasping" shot and set the threshold for a defensive "comedy of errors."

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Gary Neville's parrots, with George Lewis Nov 09, 2023

The pod welcomes comedian, actor and writer George Lewis for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, choosing his six most niche fascinations and irritations of football.

Among George's selections are the HR-defying mythology of the dressing room, kids mindlessly emulating the mannerisms of star players, the rise of the words “we talk about...” in punditry and Coronation Street vs EastEnders in accurately depicting footballspeak.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel analyse some AI commentary of a famous Lionel Messi goal and pick apart some commentary highlights from the chaos of Spurs vs Chelsea.

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The dying art of managers moving upstairs, the 'revelation' threshold, and some low-key FA Cup magic Nov 07, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some low-key FA Cup magic from Horsham FC's Twitter account, yet more footballspeak in the political sphere, what makes a player "a revelation" and the dying art of managers "moving upstairs".

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals constitute a player "helping themselves", which players are permitted to "run a game" and the first-choice verb for collecting assists.

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England's Euro 2024 clamour forecast and a Premier League quiz for the ages Nov 02, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the final word on the "giant clubs" debate, some troubling new verbs emerging in the free-kick department and ex-Premier League wingers popping up in 2006 alt-country album tracks

Meanwhile, the panel forecast England's Euro 2024 clamouring saga and the pod dramatically unveils its new mini-quiz format, Happy Hunting Grounds.

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The most comprehensive definition of 'ghosting in' of all time Oct 31, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether or not a player's nickname can be inspired by a player from the same division, what constitutes a "late show", the art of the fake final whistle, the so-called refereeing "Big Two", an absurd development for Footballers' Names in Things, and which European clubs are eligible to be their country's "giants".

Meanwhile, the panel define which errors are the most 'schoolboy' and try to calculate the maximum speed and distance of a player "ghosting in".

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The Pure La Liga XI Oct 26, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Lang to compile the quintessential lineup of players from the last few decades of Spanish football and its many idiosyncrasies.

The selection panel weigh up "the Spanish Dave Beasant", at least three left-backs called "Fran", the inevitable Joaquin, a 7/10 story about Ruben Baraja, some pretty playmakers, an astonishing number of Serbians and a heartbreaking choice between two ageing Basque goal-getters.

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Sean Dyche's Glasto, cheat codes and a data dive into 'too little, too late' Oct 24, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a triple helping of "footballers' names appearing in things", Sean Dyche describes his Glastonbury weekend exactly as a football manager would, what constitutes a "crisp finish", footballing "cheat codes", early consolation goals and a potential fixture pile-up in an actual farmers' league and Richard Keys's latest irritation.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals behind a team has to be to "have it all to do" and wonder why nobody's ever seen a footballer sneeze mid-game.

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Background pub TV games, flip flaps & the quiet dignity of a club-branded mug Oct 18, 2023

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the political influences on modern-day school playground football, unacceptable names for skill moves, subtle ways to declare your club allegiance to office colleagues and a deep analysis of the lure of a background pub TV game that you didn’t think you'd care about.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some classy co-commentary from Dion Dublin and contemplate the cricket equivalent of footballing "dreamland".

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Electric in the air, the 'chipped in with X goals' threshold & Our Summer With Richard Keys Oct 17, 2023

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as the Cliches podcast returns with the first Adjudication Panel of 2023/24. The agenda includes: how and when a player can be “electric”, some scepticism about Dominik Szoboszlai’s Steven Gerrard-inspired tattoo, a sensational description for a central-midfield partnership and a long-awaited catch-up with Keys & Gray.

Meanwhile, the panel challenge the current “tackles always look worse in slow motion” dogma and decide, once and for all, how many goals constitute “chipping in” to a team’s season.

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The Football Clichés podcast is back! (Trailer) Oct 11, 2023

Why do we talk about football the way we do? Adam Hurrey’s truly unique podcast returns to explore the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés. It’s a podcast about everything we take for granted about the modern game.

Twice a week, the Football Clichés Adjudication Panel will rule on the latest crimes against football’s complex language, select obscure themed XIs, welcome star guests to choose their niche footballing loves and hates, and much more.

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