Football Cliches

Latest Episodes:

Lashing/dabbing a seed/cherry, moral victories, and why do the Aussies hate Bazball? Nov 20, 2025

Show notes

This, is Cricket Cliches, the all-new, slightly strange cousin of your favourite football podcast hosted by commentator Daniel Norcross with cricket journalists Dan Gallan and Dave Tickner, and the soothingly familiar presence of FC regular Nick Miller.

In our very first episode, on the eve of The Ashes, we dive headlong into the Bazball debate… why does it wind Australians up so much? And while we’re at it, just call the ball a ball.

We try to escape the “moral victory” maze and there’s a look back at the article which inspired the show, Dan G’s dictionary of batting vernacular.

And we spend too much time trying to come up with names for a cricketing equivalent of Mesut/Haaland/Dicks before answering our first listener question: what exactly is a ‘heavy ball’?

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The "Club X til I die" loophole & torn hamstrings at the Battle of Hastings: The listeners' loves & hates Nov 20, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are a tiny loophole in pledging your lifelong allegiance to your club, referees waiting patiently to book an injured player, and whether football-specific injuries ever occurred in ancient times.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel take in the sounds of Scotland's World Cup qualification heroics and Mike Dean pluralising referees on The Overlap.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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Premature dark-horsing, false-nine nostalgia & introducing... Cricket Clichés Nov 18, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Ireland's preliminary World Cup heroics, Norway’s World Cup “grey horses”, Dion Dublin partially settles the “Diadora pass” mystery, law firm partners with superbly football surnames, Sean Dyche on his personal finances, unexpected false-nine nostalgia, the lesser-known technicalities of "doing the 92", a fascinating in-tray for Sheffield Wednesday’s administrators, and some manic Brazilian commentary.

Meanwhile, the Clichés empire expands to a whole new ball game: new podcast CRICKET CLICHES will be your alternative Ashes companion, and you can get involved at cricket.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive members only show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

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On toast in his pocket, pulling up trees & The Number-and-a-Half XI Nov 13, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the coining of a superb phrase in Canada, Dua Lipa tests the football hipster threshold, Conor Bradley’s triple lock on Vinicius Junior, an early contender for semi-accidental footballing portmanteau of the season, how to (not) "pull up trees", the celebrity TV equivalent of inevitably signing for West Ham and English football stadiums that could be someone’s name.

Meanwhile, after Thomas Tuchel's description of Phil Foden as a "nine and a half", the panel put together a definitive team of Number and a Halfs.

Vote for Football Clichés as podcast of the year: vote.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit https://nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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Accidentally patronising commentary, the Battle of the Big Dan B's & Keysey meets Piers Nov 11, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Clichés catchphrases in unexpected places, Steve McManaman's accidentally patronising co-commentary, football's earliest proverbial Christmas present, the converging trajectories of Big Dan Burn and Big Dan Ballard, tinpot scenes at the Under-17 World Cup, Tuchel's England get ahead of a classic World Cup issue, and Piers Morgan joining forces with Richard Keys.

Meanwhile, the panel decide the tolerance limit for a big man/small man strike partnership and ask for YOUR help in voting for Football Clichés as the podcast of the year: vote.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit MedExpress.co.uk to check your eligibility and get 30% off with code CLICHES

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Vittorio Angelone on orchestral anthems, Lev Yashin's cap, and badge-avoiding classy touches Nov 06, 2025

Show notes

We’d love your vote for Football Clichés as Podcast of the Year at the FSA Awards: ⁠https://vote.footballcliches.com/⁠

The pod welcomes comedian Vittorio Angelone for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Vittorio's selections are a passionate defence of classical music's influence on football, a brief history of goalkeepers in caps, the sort-of rise and fall of front-flip throw-ins, vanishingly small modern shinpads and players who performatively avoid walking on club badges in the tunnel.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some slightly unnecessary match-report ridicule for Everton's misfiring Thierno Barry and an unprecedented VAR-fuelled crowd noise at Anfield.

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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”Cool as custard”, Reo-Coker's hanky-panky & football's reigning Great Entertainers Nov 04, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the story behind an FA Cup penalty shootout commentary curiosity, a familiar sound effect in a Roman history documentary, the least cool item of clothing ever worn by a top-flight manager, someone selling match-worn Premier League referees' shirts on Vinted and Keys & Gray switch their international allegiance once and for all.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Dave's deep dive on the history of the lineal Great Entertainers title in English football and ponder if a Premier League season could ever be completed without a single managerial sacking.

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

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Rob Morgan on FA Cup engraving, football rhyming slang & overrated wondergoals Oct 30, 2025

Show notes

The pod welcomes comedy creator Rob Morgan for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Rob's selections are the minor obsession with FA Cup trophy engravers, football-inspired rhyming slang, massively overrated halfway-line goals and the ultra-modern habit of defenders celebrating their tackles.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an unusual scenario for a new Celtic manager and the most football-sounding World Series baseball noise ever recorded.

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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Five football clubs in 10 seconds, Ekitike's non-haunting & prime minister Martin Keown Oct 28, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: some very niche feedback on Peter Drury's commentary, a never-before-attempted example of “X of Sport Y" hyperbole, Jonathan Pearce embraces some Champions League pronunciation, Hugo Ekitike and "football's worst hauntings", one of the swiftest commentators curses of all time, a PE teacher sacked for lying about their football career and a comprehensive first-hand list of Richard Keys’s mates.

Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes "the cavalry" in football and tackle a tantalising question about the resale value of a footballer's match-worn football boots.

Visit MedExpress.co.uk to check your eligibility and get 30% off with code CLICHES.

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Scottish League Two scores, leaked fines lists & the sixth penalty taker: The listeners' loves & hates Oct 23, 2025

Show notes

Among the selections are the egalitarian approach of football results shows, the psychological impact of the height of the main camera angle, that moment of uncertainty as a referee indicates a goal kick and not a penalty and one of the most nuanced observations on the language of football the pod has ever faced.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an inevitable Sean Dyche moment and some curious Champions League commentary.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: ⁠https://dreamland.footballcliches.com⁠

Visit ⁠nordvpn.com/cliches⁠ to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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