Flying Free

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**Flying Free**

Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

Latest Episodes:

When All Your Thoughts Are Despairing and Hopeless [141] Oct 19, 2021

Show notes

If you're like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you've tried everything.

You've read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals.

You've paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences.

You've asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends, and the lady in the check-out line.

You've prayed and given up all the fun things to eat and bit your tongue, and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged.

But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse.

You're withering. Your life looks like a wasteland. You feel like a shell of a woman.

So what's the REAL ANSWER? What's THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING?

It's simple. It's free. It’s right in front of you.

In this hope-filled intervention your weary soul needs:

Why you should be looking in the mirror (and it's not to correct yourself)
A simple explanation of faith that can radically change your life
Who your true rescuer is (and why your "rescue" is never over)
What to do with thoughts that feel like facts, like: “I'm not loved. I've lost my faith. There's no hope. I've failed. My life was wasted.”
How to use your brain to your advantage (even when you're completely overwhelmed)
How your ideas about God tangle with your perspective on abuse and yourself
Practical examples from my own life and the lives of the many women I've helped

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

How to Achieve Financial Independence After Abuse [140] Oct 12, 2021

Show notes

Do you picture yourself and your children begging on the streets if you dare to leave?

Are you overwhelmed at the thought of making ends meet as a single mom?

Do you wonder how you'll pay for groceries, much less legal fees, if you escape?

One of the biggest fears for women in abusive marriages is that they won't survive financially.

And it's a fear based on a lot of truth.

But it's not the final say.

Hear from a woman who's been there, done, and literally wrote a book on it. So don't turn back.

If you feel financially trapped, this podcast covers:

Smart tactics for squirreling away money without escalating the abuse in your relationship
Safe maneuvers to keep the peace while you're preparing to leave
A strategy for keeping the lights on when there's more month than money
A valuable list of resources for women in your exact situation
Lydia Dominguez’s story of running, returning, and finding freedom from abuse for good

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Don’t Turn Back: A Reassuring Road Map to Navigating Divorce after Abuse -Legally, Financially, and Spiritually by Lydia Dominguez
Women’s Law: This organization provides legal information and referrals for women in dire straits
The National Association of Crime Victim Compensation Boards Supports state compensation programs to provide financial aid to victims.
Lydia’s website
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Lydia Dominguez currently serves as a technical sergeant in the United States Air Force. She also holds a bachelor of arts degree in business management and has ten years of experience in human resources. She relies on more than a decade of personal experience, as well as the stories of others, to educate and encourage abused women to escape their abusers and start the recovery process. During her own twelve-year physical, emotionally, and financially abusive relationship, she attempted to escape seven times. Each time, Lydia was determined never to go back—until she did. After becoming free for good, she wrote Don’t Turn Back, a book she hopes will promote empowerment, healing, and forgiveness for women in abusive relationships.

But Didn't I Promise to Stay in Sickness and in Health? What about Mental Illness?m [139] Oct 05, 2021

Show notes

When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.

When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.

When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.

When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him.

Which makes you wonder…

If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him? If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better?

And even more confusing…

What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder? What if your traumatic responses seem abusive?

In this episode, I peel back the layers on:

· The ingredients of C-PTSD

· Who you can save before you become leftovers (it’s only ever one person)

· The different flavors of C-PTSD and BPD

· Why the reason behind your husband’s behavior matters less than a hill of beans (and what does)

· A three-step recipe to recover from abuse in your own life

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Finding Joy Even When Life Hurts [138] Sep 28, 2021

Show notes

If your life is already a tough pill to swallow, taking more medicine is the last thing you want to do. Gross.

But what if it's the "best medicine"? The type that makes you laugh-cry, hold your sides, and snort with glee.

Laughter and joy and humor can transform the darkest days, the bleakest seasons, and the hardest nights.

And no matter what you've been through, you really can experience their life-giving power.

I talk with prolific laugher, Sara Richmond, about how.

The surprising highlights of this prescription:

Think you can't laugh and be honest about your pain? Codswallop!
Learn how to steal (okay, borrow) laughter on the worst days
Why surviving a buttload of baloney in your marriage makes you an ideal patient for supreme joy
Completely overwhelmed? Our suggestions: Sing badly, run away, or shriek "Balderdash!" (and what we really mean by self-care during the worst times)
How being quirky and weird (or just exactly who you are) is the way to score free joy for life
A bunch more (because I always overdeliver, from pizza to malarkey to a gaggle of children to my support group)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Does God Love You Less Because Your Marriage is Bad? [137] Sep 21, 2021

Show notes

If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster?

If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat?

Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites.

So why doesn't God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you...only pain?

If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you.

I answer listener questions about:

The SURPRISING thing your abusive marriage tells you about God
The people I DON'T HELP, and what I do instead
Why TRIGGERS are often less about past trauma and more about CORE BELIEFS

How asking questions about fears (like the fear that your husband and family are spying on your social media posts) is a simple way to BREAK THROUGH them

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

How Do I Make an Exit Plan? [136] Sep 14, 2021

Show notes

Getting out of an abusive marriage can seem impossible. Especially when it comes to the money aspect. As in...where will you get it? How will you reenter (or start in) the work force? How are you going to add MORE to your already overflowing plate?

And those emotions. The big ones that feel like a thick sludge up to your hips or a pile of wet blankets on top of you or a deep, aching hollow in your chest. How do you deal with those?

Dear one, it's not easy, but it is simple.

I’ve traveled this way before—alone and with others. So let me share my road map.

This episode paves a path to:

· The proof that knowing all the “hows” (as in, how in the heck is all this going to work out) isn't necessary

· What learning to drive has to do with all of this

· Why I don't tell survivors what to do while still giving them precise, tried-and-true advice

· A way to OWN your valid, real, big emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them

· How your healing ignites all the practical things you haven’t figured out

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Is the Bible Against Women? [135] Sep 07, 2021

Show notes

It took 11 words to change the world. 11 words misinterpreted. 11 words misunderstood. 11 words manipulated.

A single sentence from the mouth of God to the first woman...Eve. A pronouncement. A prediction. A curse. Or was it?

Do you know these words?

Prepare yourself. Because you’re about to learn their TRUE meaning.

It might blow. your. mind. And it will change the world...again.

Why this episode is a must listen:

The What: Bruce’s wife spent seven years researching her doctoral dissertation on 11 words. He followed with his own research on correlating New Testament verses.
The Why: How your understanding of those 11 words affects your view of women, men, God, and your entire existence.
The Are You Kidding Me?: A clear, precise explanation of those 11 words. You may scream. You may dance. You may fist pump several times. You may run around the block screaming incoherently. It’s that good.
WARNING: Bring an extra pair of socks. Because this episode is going to blow them clean off.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

If this podcast made you hungry for more, join listeners in 57 countries: The Eden Podcast
Bruce’s book: “The Book of Eden, Genesis 2-3: God Didn’t Curse Eve (or Adam) or Limit Woman in Any Way (The Eden Book Series)”
The Tru3:16 project was started to correct manipulated Bible interpretations. Check it out.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Bruce C. E. Fleming is a former academic dean and professor of practical theology in French-speaking Africa. He is the author of “The Book of Eden, Genesis 2-3,” founder of the True316 Project, and host of The Eden Podcast\. He hopes to change marriages and the world with the discoveries he’s made about the true meaning in the Genesis story and the Bible, generally.

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part Two [134] Aug 31, 2021

Show notes

Was there a day when you realized he was doing it all on purpose?

After all your tears, your pleading, and explanations, there was no way you could keep excusing his behavior.

His explanations didn’t fly.

You knew you didn’t hold the blame.

Maybe he finally, actually admitted it.

As painful as that realization is, it’s also your secret weapon—knowledge that can empower you.

Sound crazy? In Part 2 of 2, What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You, I’ll prove it.

This episode covers:

The Drama Llama: Where he goes, chaos and division follow. Learn how to put out fires without a hose (or more stress)
The Silver Tongue: Knowing you can’t trust your husband at all doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it
The Funnel: His narrow perspective leads to rigid practices and perspectives. Learn how to avoid becoming a human fossil along with him
The Déjà Vu: The thing you hate the most (that nothing ever changes) is actually an advantage—what you can predict, you can plan for
The Leech: Is your marriage sucking you dry? Learn how to get your lifeblood back

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part One [133] Aug 24, 2021

Show notes

You are married to a bully. If only he'd steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it.

Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news.

Take heart, sweet potato. There's a better way.

I've graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans.

Fair warning: It's gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won't even need karate.

Your road map includes:

The reason your fear that you are abusive is COMPLETE COCKAMAMY
5 common things abusers do (you’re likely dealing with these on an unending loop)
How he’s like an 11-year-old and you’re like a computer program
5 brilliant ways to respond that will CHANGE not just your marriage but YOUR ENTIRE LIFE

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Survivor Story: Marie [132] Aug 17, 2021

Show notes

The length of your marriage. You’ll never forget it. 3 years of holes in the wall. 9 years of sleepless nights. 17 years of pleading. 25 years of silence. 43 years of lowering your standards again and again and again.

While the past can't be changed, and that time is set, your recovery is NOT. It has NO LIMIT. It has NO TIMELINE.

The depth of your pain and suffering do not outweigh your ability to heal. It all comes down to whether you want it.

The evidence?

Women like Marie. She found healing and transformation in community—one that's available to you.

The Takeaways of Marie’s Story:

What’s more important: How busted up you are or how much you want healing
Why acting like an accountant can speed up your healing
The reason your recovery can stagnate...and what to do about it
Why there’s an application process for the Flying Higher group (it has to do with the toilet)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

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