Flying Free

Latest Episodes:

Finding Your Personal Style After Years of Emotional Abuse [121] Jun 01, 2021

Show notes

Ugly. Fat. Frumpy. Gross. These words ache inside of you and echo in your mind. Maybe they were said to you, maybe they were shown to you, maybe society planted them in your mind. Recovering from abuse isn't just about healing the inside, it's about manifesting life on the outside.

You were created to embody beauty and appreciate it — in your smile, with your clothes, your hair style, even the makeup you choose to wear — and Jill Swanson is an expert in helping women do just that.

In this light-hearted podcast, learn:

The secret to why I look so cute (HINT: It's because of Jill)
Why caring about your clothes/hair/using makeup is NOT SHALLOW or UNBIBLICAL
What covers a multitude of sins? Clothes!
How to use what your mama and the good Lord gave you (don't worry, it's G-rated)
REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES of how/why color coordination makes a huge difference
The heartbreak that led Jill to develop her beauty know-how and start a business helping women

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Work with Jill
Simply Stylish — Look Great, Spend Less! by Jill Swanson
30-Day Makeover — Inside and Out Beauty/Bible Study program
Out the Door in 15 Minutes — How to Look Fabulous Fastby Jill Swanson
20% off discount code for her website: Use CHIC20
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Jill Swanson is a Christian image/style consultant whose passion is to help women feel good about themselves and the way God created them – on the inside and out. Jill understands the second-guessing and insecurity that many of us experience when we look in the mirror. Her goal is to see women blossom as they step into their lives with newfound confidence. With an emphasis on simplicity and affordability, she helps women make the most of what they’ve got, effortlessly, everyday! Jill is the author of several books, including Simply Stylish — Look Great, Spend Less! and the newly released 30 Day Makeover — Inside and Out.

Finding a Healthy Partner After Divorce [120] May 25, 2021

Show notes

Ever feel like the human version of a fly trap, attracting all the wrong guys? You've escaped one horrible relationship only to find yourself being taking advantage of by a new creep or a long string of them. So, what's the key to flipping your magnetic force so you repel toddlers in grown-up bodies and attract only real men?

The secret isn't a dating app, compatibility algorithm, or a 75-step checklist. In fact, it isn't anything outside of you at all. Finding real love after divorce is as much about educating, choosing, and empowering yourself as it is discovering a healthy partner.

If you're hankering for the real deal, hit play to learn:

FIVE facts that will help you identify emotionally stunted/harmful men so you can stay the heck away
Why Christian women are the perfect candidates for abusive relationships (through no fault of their own)
What an emotionally mature man looks likes (yes, they really do exist)
Validation for women who have no interest in a relationship—EVER again
The formula for moving on after abuse (that DOESN'T EXIST, but it is a beautiful process in which you do have the driver's seat)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

How I Encouraged an Abusive System with My Silence and Submission [119] May 18, 2021

Show notes

From husbands as masters to pimps as owners, women were made to be dominated. Meghan saw it firsthand in third-world countries through the practice of female genital mutilation. She saw it in missionary organizations that refused to let women lead. She saw it in her own story.

What we believe about gender roles affects every area of our lives and every corner of the Earth.

The answer to this widespread abuse? A place where faith and feminism meet.

In my interview with Meghan, we discuss:

How everything from barring women from preaching to trafficking them for sex is based on the SAME DAMAGING BELIEFS
The moment that broke her heart wide open and led to a dramatic change in her life, faith, and work
Why there's NEVER a good time to speak up against injustice (so she just does it anyway)
How/why a marriage with EQUAL partners works (though many churches will tell you they don't exist or shouldn't happen)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Women Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice by Meghan Tschanz
Faith and Feminism Podcast
Meghan Tschanz’s Website
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Meghan Tschanz is a writer, speaker, and former missionary who is passionate about empowering women and reclaiming feminism for the Christian faith. She’s a prolific blogger, host of the Faith and Feminism podcast, and an avid traveler. She and her husband, Dustin, live in northeast Georgia.

Why Relationships Are Complicated for Survivors and How to Unhook from Relationship Drama [118] May 11, 2021

Show notes

Living in abusive environments doesn’t just harm our hearts, bodies, and souls, it also wrecks our ability to have healthy relationships. When all you know (or most of what you know) is unhealthy, navigating friendships, family, romance, and even relationships with other survivors can be messy, confusing, and painful.

I answer a listener question about the challenges of relationships after abuse and how survivors can break out of toxic patterns that helped them survive the past but aren’t serving them now.

In this episode:

Why you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t in an abusive relationship (but that doesn’t apply in healthy ones)
Which things you need to GIVE UP and which things you need to TAKE BACK to live in freedom, clarity, and peace
The critical difference between criticism and feedback (and why both are so difficult for survivors)
A mind-blowingly easy technique to reprogram your brain out of negative thought patterns (which are the BIGGEST REASON you feel stuck and miserable and afraid)
Some simple, overarching truths about this entire process. Hint: It’s all about YOU in the best way, and there’s no rush

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Consent in Christian Marriage: Why Your "No" Feels Confusing [117] May 04, 2021

Show notes

Sex is a Catch-22 for you. If you say "yes," it's out of obligation. You feel used, disgusting, disconnected, and sad afterward. If you say "no," you pay for it, 10x over...or he does what he wants to anyway, to you or with something/someone else.

So do you really have the right to say "no" to your husband, or are you stuck in a marriage that is really just domination...and a body that you can't even call your own?

Author and survivor Jessica Ghigliotti and I discuss this hot topic, including:

A clear definition of consent
Why it's such a toxic, confusing issue in many Christian marriages
The TEN most common things abusive/coercive husbands SAY and DO about consent (This list will blow your mind with clarity/truth bombs)
Questions women can start asking themselves if they think they might be in a sexually abusive marriage

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Jessica’s book: Ten Things Your Husband Says After He Rapes You
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Jessica Ghigliotti is an Oklahoma girl, mom of 4, contributing writer for 2 “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books, a newly published author, small business owner, college student, and a survivor.

Can Emotionally Abusive Marriages Be Restored? [116] Apr 27, 2021

Show notes

Some people believe that if your goal is to help people get free from abusive relationships, you can't really love and honor marriage. Many people believe true Christians go to church regularly and always read their Bibles. Most people want easy, clear-cut answers to their difficult, personal questions. But there is no one-size-fits-all approach to faith, marriage, or life. And that's not a bad thing or a cop-out. Want to hear more?

In this episode, I field listener questions:

Why do I ONLY focus on “breaking up” marriages?
Do I care AT ALL about reconciliation or restoration of marriages?
What’s my take on BEING SURE you’ve found a good church and a safe Bible translation?
Which books do I DEFINITELY recommend for women in abusive marriages?
Which relationship books should abused women ALWAYS avoid?

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

How to Become Toxic Person Proof [115] Apr 20, 2021

Show notes

Women who've escaped abusive relationships often become stuck in the healing process. Trauma has disconnected them from their bodies. They obsess over information that explains the pain they've been through. The dreams they had for their life still seem out of reach. They are plagued by self-doubt and self-hatred. Everything still revolves around the past, and their exes.

Sarah Ramsey, a toxic relationship expert and author of Becoming Toxic Person Proof: Clear the Confusion and Learn to Trust Yourself, guides women through strength-based healing so they can recreate themselves and build lives that they love!

In this episode, I interview Sarah about:

The importance of remembering WE ARE HUMAN
How the language we use adds or removes toxic shame
Why abused women are actually high achievers
How to combine your natural strengths AND savviness to protect yourself in the future
Why your abuser's diagnosis won't help and doesn't matter
The basic steps to healing so you can live a life you're excited about!

Sarah K. Ramsey is a Toxic Relationship Specialist, author of the book Becoming Toxic Person Proof, and host of The Toxic Person Proof podcast. She works with women who have experienced toxic relationships to transform their minds and lives by taking back their power, recreating a life they are excited about living, and establishing careers and relationships they love. Her work has been featured in the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit, Healing Narcissistic Trauma Conference, Thrive Global, The Elephant Journal, and The Courageous Woman Summit. Contact Sarah at sarah@sarahkramsey.com.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Becoming Toxic Person Proof: Clear the Confusion and Learn to Trust Yourself by Sarah Ramsey with FREE BONUS access to 50+ hours of content from her Valentine’s Day Summit with leading faith-based coaches. Email Sarah at sarah@sarahkramsey.com after buying her book to receive the Summit!
FREE MASTERCLASS: The Systematic Strategy High-Achieving Women Use to Find Peace, Love, and Confidence After a Toxic Relationship
Her website with access to free e-book “Bounce Back Better”
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Staying Connected to Our Kids Post-Divorce [114] Apr 13, 2021

Show notes

Christian women facing divorce experience tremendous fear around how to protect their children and help them heal.

In today's episode, I answer listener questions about staying connected to your kids post-divorce, how to handle parental alienation, a healthy approach to decision-making, figuring out if your husband is really changing, and more!

In this episode, learn:

Why making tough decisions doesn't have to scare you.
The most important thing you can do for your kid(s) in an abusive situation.
The reasons rejection can be one of the best things that ever happens to us.
The ONE WAY you can be sure your husband is actually changing.
How I help women in tough situations like these every day in my group coaching programs, Flying Free (for women in abusive marriages) and Flying Higher (for divorced women).

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Building Resilience in Children Who Have Experienced Coercive Control [113] Apr 07, 2021

Show notes

Whether you've escaped your abusive marriage or not, your children bear the marks of a toxic home environment. They may even have to see their abuser on a regular basis, through scheduled visitation. Which raises the question: How do we keep our kids from further harm and teach them to protect themselves when home, the very place they are supposed to be safest, is damaging to their bodies, minds, and souls?

Dr. Debra Wingfield explains how consistency, resilience, social competency, boundaries, responsibility, and even imagination have a role in helping children to thrive, despite the challenges of an abusive home.

Listen to learn:

A simple question and several easy approaches to help kids stay protected emotionally and physically while they're around an abusive parent.
How resilience skills are critical for keeping kids safe and empowering them to advocate for themselves in the long term.
Why parenting with love and logic will actually free you from fear, stress, and a lot of drama, and greatly improve your connection with your kids.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Eyes Wide Open: Help! with Control Freak Co-Parents by Debra Wingfield
From Darkness to Light: Your Inner Journey by Debra Wingfield
Through a Child’s Voice by Debra Wingfield
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Debra Wingfield, Ed.D., LPC (retired) educated psychotherapists in small group trainings and university classrooms for over 15 years. She was in private practice for over 20 years, with a focus on treating adult children from dysfunctional families; child abuse victims; domestic violence victims, offenders, and child witness victims. She presented trainings, conferences, workshops, and classroom courses in domestic violence intervention/treatment and addictions related to domestic violence. Her up-to-date courses and training workshops are now available virtually.

Practical Help for Christian Women in Confusing and Painful Marriages [112] Mar 30, 2021

Show notes

We offer a ton of free resources to help Christian women feel some hope and like they aren’t alone in their painful marriages.

But do you know where I personally show up every week to answer the deeper questions from individuals? To coach women on their specific problems? To teach classes and create new workshops and offer in-depth interviews with experts and survivors? To help women of faith create life-changing shifts in their minds and lives?

Not on social media. Not on my public blog. And not on this podcast.

I do that in my private Flying Free Sisterhood program.

In this episode, we sit down for tea (I’ll tell you my favorites — and HERE is a coupon for 20% off August Tea), and I share why a comprehensive program where you will be intensely supported and loved and educated is going to 10X your hope and healing in ways nothing else has ever worked before. (I’m not exaggerating either!)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

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