Flying Free

Latest Episodes:

Making Health and Fitness Easier for Survivors [151] Dec 28, 2021

Show notes

There’s a reason why people say all abuse is physical abuse. Emotional abuse is a double whammy, destroying your mind and your body.

Long after the abuse stops, you’re still dealing with the fallout.

It can feel like your body has failed you. Like you’re permanently broken. It can feel hopeless and frustrating.

So how do you regain your health and fitness in the aftermath of abuse?

Kylar has a unique approach, one of endless compassion, wisdom, and empathy. Because he’s been there too. And it works. Now he’s healthy and strong, from the inside out and helping others just like you.

Listen to:

The amazing story behind Kylar’s 22 years of abuse and 19-year fitness journey
Why high-intensity workouts are NOT a good idea for survivors (what a relief)
How our perspective on physical health aligns with patriarchy and shame-based fitness culture
The biggest contributor to the aging process (HINT: it’s not time)
How a simple and intuitive approach is the best, with examples

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Find Kylar on Facebook
Check out Kylar’s blog
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Kylar Dunn is a massage therapist, personal trainer, and life coach. He grew up in an abusive, hyper-religious home and later developed complex-PTSD and related health issues. After embracing the courage to leave home at age 22, he became obsessed with the health journey, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Kylar combined education and research with intuitive body awareness to navigate the tightrope of challenging health symptoms, including extreme fatigue and the inability to build muscle. Today, he helps survivors care for their bodies and live the lives they dream.

A Teen's Perspective on Divorce During the Holidays [150] Dec 21, 2021

Show notes

What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?

You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors.

What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t understand. The ones who only know that Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and life, will never be the same again.

Divorce through the eyes of a teen…my own daughter.

This episode is a spotlight on:

A honest report from a teen who had a close relationship with her abusive father
How things changed, year over year, as separation turned into divorce and a “new normal”
The flaws in the idea that everything (traditions, joy, togetherness, fun) has been destroyed by divorce
Why joint custody actually helped lessen the emotional burden of divorce
The fact that every child’s experience is different and why it’s important to consider
A really hopeful “finish” to the story of my family (though it’s far from over)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

How Do I Get My Kids to Believe and Understand That I'm a Victim of Emotional Abuse? [149] Dec 14, 2021

Show notes

It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through.

It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is.

Especially because they’re wired to trust their dad. They’re wired to need his love.

So they still call him good, loving even. They still think you and their dad should be together.

You know better.

And it’s agony.

What now?

In this episode:

Why just showing up makes all the difference in your kids’ lives
How divorce is like an earthquake (and how approaching it from a long-term perspective makes all the difference)
The reason letting your kids go actually gives you a better chance of getting them back
Why allowing your kids to love their dad (and feel all the feels) is important for their well-being, your peace, and your relationship with them
How all of this advice lets you lay down the torment and angst over this topic…for good!

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Managing the Holiday Blues [148] Dec 07, 2021

Show notes

As the year ends, the darkness grows. Minute by minute.

Just before Christmas is the longest night of the year.

The holidays are celebrations of love and generosity and joy.

But they're also bleak and painful to many — like women going through separation and divorce.

So how do you cling to the hope of coming light in your blackest hours?

How do you live with the dark as you wait for the dawn?

Here’s my story and what I’ve learned.

In this episode:

The honest truth about the dark hole I was in for my first two Christmases as a single mom of nine children
Three practical tips for dealing with the pain of busted-up holidays as a survivor (and by practical, I mean easy and doable without causing a mental breakdown)
Why you should ask questions about loneliness and grief instead of resenting or dulling them
How to reframe the idea that you’re just a hot mess (News Flash: Nobody’s life is like their Christmas card)
Proof that your brain is super smart and super ridiculous (and how to utilize the smartness and not the part that keeps you looped in crappy, self-fulfilling prophecies)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Changing Your Role (Chapter Eight of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage) Part Two [147] Nov 30, 2021

Show notes

If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.

You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.

You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.

You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.

But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.

So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.

If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.

If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.

This episode is full to bursting with truths to revolutionize your reality:

4 important truths survivors need to know to experience and create real change in their lives
How I discovered my true identity after decades of abuse
What a spiritually healthy person acts (there are some surprises in here!)
How I went from helpless to empowered (and how you can too)
7 life-changing things I learned that paved the way for more learning, growth, and healing than I could ever imagine
A great way to experience my book Is It Me? with other survivors of emotional abuse

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Would you like to go through this book and companion workbook with other women just like you? Sign up to get on the waiting list for our next groups here: https://flyingfreenow.ck.page/groups

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Changing Your Role (Chapter Eight of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage) Part One [146] Nov 23, 2021

Show notes

Do you wonder why you feel so angry and defeated about the way your husband treats you?

It's not cause you were a closet rage monster before you got married. It's not cause you're crazy or demanding or that you just love drama.

He’s been stomping in your flower beds.

And YOU’VE been told that you had to leave the garden gate open in order to be a good wife and a good Christian.

If you’ve been wondering "Is it me?" then let's make sense of your confusing marriage in this two-part episode.
Episode Highlights:

Boundaries aren't just for countries and sports fields; they're key to healthy relationships and fulfilling, well-balanced lives of peace.
This analogy will cut through the crap you've been fed about why your husband's behavior is your fault (it’s 100% NOT).
I give a pounding to the faulty beliefs that keep you stuck (and make no mistake, beliefs keep us stuck much more often than super glue, bad relationships, a lack of resources, and quicksand combined).
An explanation of your actual responsibility that will SET YOU FREE.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

Would you like to go through this book and companion workbook with other women just like you? Sign up to get on the waiting list for our next groups here: https://flyingfreenow.ck.page/groups

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Dealing with Difficult People During the Holidays [145] Nov 16, 2021

Show notes

The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider.

They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships.

Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief.

If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.

This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me...to you.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Doing Deep Internal Healing Through Spiritual Process Groups [144] Nov 09, 2021

Show notes

“I’ll never heal.”

Has that thought crossed your mind?

There’s too much pain. Too much trauma stored in your body. Too many horrible memories trapped in your mind. It’s an ocean to cross, and you’re just treading water.

You need deep internal healing.

So how do you plunge into the depths of your most profound anguish productively and safely?

With help from compassionate, well-learned people who’ve been in your shoes and have dedicated themselves to helping women like you.

Megan Owen is such a woman. As a trauma counselor, she’s on a mission to provide comprehensive therapy for abuse survivors that brings the deep healing they’ve been seeking.

In this episode, Megan answers these weighty questions and more:

What are spiritual process groups, and how can I join one?
How can theology be thick or thin (and why does it matter)?
What do the Wizard of Oz and glass slippers have to do with any of this?
Why do we need a baseline for healthy relationships?
What are EMDR, IFS, DNMS, and CPTSD (besides a list of acronyms)?
Why do people say other therapy didn’t help but her multi-dimensional, community-based approach made all the difference?
Who is really excited about all that Megan is doing and wants to get the word out? (It’s me. I’m practically squealing. Listen to the episode for proof.)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

You don’t have to navigate trauma alone. Find hope and healing through Mountain City Christian Counseling.
Sign up for spiritual processing groups at the website above or by contacting Casey Chappell.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Megan is most widely known as the founder of Give Her Wings and Give Her Wings Academy. Since 2012, she has been fully certified as a crisis pastoral counselor (MAR, Pastoral Counseling). After stepping down as executive director for Give Her Wings, Megan turned her sights toward offering trauma therapy and spiritual and relational process groups. She aims to help survivors heal from trauma and abuse and even serve “exvangelicals” who are leaving their church but not their faith. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her three amazing teens.

Three False Beliefs My Abusive Relationship Gave to Me [143] Nov 02, 2021

Show notes

Imagine carrying around a backpack full of books from high school.

You aren’t taking those classes anymore, but you always carry the weight anyway.

It digs into your shoulders. It makes you tired. Slows you down. Doesn’t let you truly rest. It keeps others from getting close.

Abuse is like that. It teaches us a lot—lessons no one should ever learn. And lessons we don’t even realize we’re still living out.

So we may escape abusive relationships, but we’re stuck in limbo, carrying the textbooks we think hold the truth about life, love, and ourselves.

Rebecca realized this. She was living out sneaky, destructive beliefs even after her divorce—in her career, her parenting, and in her new marriage.

If you want to be truly free from your past, you’ll love the new lessons this episode has to offer:

FALSE: Boundaries only matter in unhealthy relationships
TRUE: Setting boundaries is a critical part of every healthy relationship (and why she avoided doing this in her new marriage for years)
FALSE: Everything in a new relationship with a safe, good person will be like a Hallmark movie
TRUE: There will still be difficulty, discomfort, and disagreements (but they won’t become atomic bombs)
FALSE: Your career and parenting and mental health will be magically perfect and easy after you escape from your abusive marriage
TRUE: Recovery is an 18-course banquet, not a drive-thru snack, and you’ll still live on Earth (but these don’t have to be major downers)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Four Barriers That Keep Women From Leaving Abusive Relationships [142] Oct 26, 2021

Show notes

Lydia left her abusive husband.

Then she came back.

She found the guts to leave him again.

And returned another time.

In the end, it took SEVEN times for her to get free.

If you've been there or if you're wondering whether you'll ever get out too, she's laying it all on the table in this episode.

The BEST PART? She's thriving. And she's no longer ashamed of her past.

In this raw look at Lydia’s story:

The FOUR reasons that kept her from leaving for good
How she conquered the shame over her broken marriage
Why it was better for her kids to grow up with just one parent
The Bible verse that set her free from condemnation over her divorce
What punching and floating have to do with the divorce/rebuilding process
Why sexual loneliness is a valid concern when you become single (and how she handled it)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected