Don't Cut Your Own Bangs - TopPodcast.com

Latest Episodes:

Are You Being Too Hard on Yourself? Oct 31, 2022

Show notes

I started the "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast to explore the "messy middle," that place between the before and after photo. It can also be thought of as the gap between how we are feeling and how we think we should be feeling.

The middle doesn't only exist during the year-end holidays, but as we're closing in on that time of year, the gap between how we feel and how we want to feel can seem especially wide.

To deal with the stress and business of the holiday season, we must first acknowledge the stress within ourselves. Anxiety, depression, and burnout can result when we push for a sense of togetherness and not disappointing loved ones. Before we know it, joy gives way to the pulls of exhaustion and lonliness.

I know that it's easier said than done, but we need to get clear on what we want and how we want to feel if we're going to have a chance at getting through this season.

So, start with some questions:

How am I feeling? How do I want to feel?
How do our holiday traditions make me feel?
How many things am I doing because I want to be doing them? Or, because I feel I have to do them?
Am I being too hard on myself by trying to please others and meet their expectations?
What do I want my holiday season to feel like? How does it usually feel?
How willing am I to acknowledge what I truly want, knowing the discomfort that it might cause?

Remember that "practice makes permanent." Our holiday traditions have a way of continuing even when they no longer serve us. Maybe it's time to make some space for a new approach or even a new tradition or two. We'll revisit this theme in upcoming episodes, so give it some thought.

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Let Her Eat Cake! Danielle and Lauren Rieker, RDN. Oct 17, 2022

Show notes

Lauren Rieker, RDN, is a registered dietitian and owner/manager of Collaborative Counseling & Nutrition, an outpatient nutrition and body image counseling center in Indianapolis. In this episode, I talk with Lauren about her own history with food, exercise, and health—and how it led her to pursue an approach to eating disorders, body image, and intuitive eating that emphasizes compassion, mindfulness, and holistic treatment.

This is not a typical discussion about our bodies and food-related struggles. In today's environment, virtually all women are affected by pervasive ideas—and often misinformation—about body weight, size, and shape. So, I hope you will join us as Lauren shares her experience and perspective on these and related topics:

Eating disorders versus disordered eating
Conventional diet culture and health outcomes
Behaviors, satisfaction, and trusting our bodies
Combining therapy services and nutrition for healthy living

Be sure to register for Lauren's workshop on October 19th to learn more about intuitive eating (Follow her on Social Media to get the deets! All her links are below.)

Connect with Lauren and the team at the links below.

Website: Collab-counseling.com
Instagram: @laurenrieker.rd

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share with Danielle. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of this program and makes it easier for other listeners to find the show.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with Danielle:

The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

When things don't go as planned. Oct 03, 2022

Show notes

Let's face it, sometimes things just don't go as planned. But, how do we respond? Do we hang on fiercely to the original plan? Do we let go and adjust to the new situation? If we let go of the original plan, how do we know when to let go? A lot of my clients have been faced with this question lately. So, in this episode I share a recent experience of my own to explore these questions and more.

We can learn a lot about ourselves when our plans are upended. All of us know the struggle of holding onto the promise of what could be rather than acknowledging the truth of what is. But that challenge, it turns out, can help us clarify what we want, why we want it, and how we want to feel.

Maybe it's time to rethink how we plan so that we can give proper attention to setting realistic expectations, listening to how we feel, and trusting in the idea of "lightly held" plans.

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share with me. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for new listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Need some alone time? Why women need solo retreats. Danielle x Jen Petro. Sep 12, 2022

Show notes

In episode #42 from April 2022, Jen Petro and I discuss the benefits of taking a solo retreat. She first suggested the idea to me while working side by side at Cafe' Patachou.⁣

⁣I remember thinking, "Huh? Just go somewhere by myself, for myself, for no other reason than I want to?"⁣ ⁣It sounded indulgent, a little selfish, and OH SO NECESSARY. Saying yes to myself in this way changed my life. Truly. ⁣

A solo retreat can drop your stress level and help you feel more settled, especially in times of uncertainty. If taking a solo retreat sounds appealing and like something you're able to do, I encourage you to listen to the episode to learn more about this terrific approach to self care. Enjoy!

Jen Petro is a writer, marketing nerd, and owner of Dropleaf Communications. Dropleaf helps brands and businesses clarify their message to connect with customers and drive sales. To connect with Jen:

Website: dropleaf.co/
Instagram: jenspetro
Email: jen@dropleaf.co

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

When's the last time you did something for the first time? Danielle x Danielle Wolter Nolan Sep 05, 2022

Show notes

This episode revisits my discussion with Danielle Wolter Nolan, who has a question for you. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

In episode #42 from April 2020, Danielle and I talked about taking leaps of faith, what it means to push past what you believe is possible, and what it takes to live adventurously.

Danielle and her wife, Kate Nolan, founders of DNK Presents, organize and guide empowering adventure retreats for groups and businesses. They focus on getting people to step outside their comfort zones, try something for the first time, and in turn, gain confidence through experiential learning and adventures.

In 2016, they turned their story and the life changing stories of their fellow adventurers into a documentary film, titled "Live Adventurously," which was accepted to the Heartland Film Festival. To learn more about the film, watch the trailer here.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

Are You Living in a Joy Deficit? - A solocast Aug 15, 2022

Show notes

If the way we want to feel isn't alive somewhere inside us, then we're more likely to stay stuck in the mindset of our problems. While choosing joy in the midst of insanity might feel like a bold and radical choice, joy is the rocket fuel we need to get us where we want to go. In this episode, I discuss tactics that help us tap into the joy that can be lying dormant inside us.

Window-shopping joy
Doubling down on what feels good
Being a student of happiness

By recognizing what feels good and practicing the rhythm of pleasure, we can learn to access the joy that we need.

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that might benefit others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Attracting Loving Relationships Jul 11, 2022

Show notes

Our desire to attract more loving relationships relies on our ability to be honest and loving toward ourselves.

In this listener's favorite episode from January 2021, I revisit what this has looked like in my own life and explore the importance of finding acceptance and comfort in our authentic selves, which can set the stage for growth.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

Fear & Getting Unstuck - A Solocast Jun 07, 2022

Show notes

This episode comes in the wake of another horrific school shooting and many of the people I've encountered over the past week are struggling because of it. So, I'm compelled to use this time to address the concept of fear brought on by secondary trauma and how we can get stuck trying to process that fear.

Through biologic evolution, our bodies have been hardwired with the classic fear responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Often we respond with fear even when the danger or trauma does not pose an immediate physical threat to us. Typically, these reactions are involuntary. Our bodies make the decision to respond in a particular way regardless of whether the danger is real or perceived, primary or secondary.

For many of us, our fear response appears not only because of a specific event or string of events, but also because the news outlets recount stories and images on seemingly endless repeat. We imagine the pain and heartache of the devastated families and consider the vulnerability of our own children. We are affected by the responses of our family, friends, and coworkers as well. Our social media feeds carry the strong emotions from the people we follow, and their reactions are served up right alongside the algorithms that are designed to activate us and keep us engaged as long as possible.

When our bodies carry the weight of these chronic stressors it's easy to get stuck in our corrosive emotions. But there are steps we can take to reduce our involuntary fear response. Here are just a few that I discuss in this episode:

Exercise, go to the park, snuggle a pet, engage in simple touch
Read, rather than watch, the news
Limit the amount of time you spend consuming social media

Most importantly, do what is best for you. If listening to this episode is not what you need right now, that's okay. Come back next week. If you choose to listen, I hope it brings you some relief. Just know that you are not alone in your response to overwhelming tragedy.

Thank you for listening. As always, I welcome your feedback and ask that you rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast if you find value here.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

Compassion Fatigue & Empathy. Danielle and Liesel Mertes May 30, 2022

Show notes

In this Listener's Favorite from November 2020, I revisit compassion fatigue and empathy with Liesel Mertes. Liesel is a workplace empathy consultant and founder of Handle with Care Consulting.

In the wake of Covid, workplace empathy has taken on even greater importance, but so too has the need for compassion and empathy in every aspect of our lives today. For many of us, the lines between work and home and school have been blurred and it seems that nearly everyone is struggling with fatigue and the current and residual stress from worrying about and taking care of ourselves, our loved ones, and our community.

In this episode, Liesel shares her own profound experience with loss. Her journey has changed her perspective on what it means to be well and has transformed her ability to teach valuable lessons on how to be a better partner, a better friend, a better coworker, and a better leader.

Even though loss can be heavy, our discussion is light. We approach the subject in a warm and gentle way. I'm confident that anyone whose life and worldview have been disrupted over the last several years will find benefit in Liesel's experience and insight.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

Connect with Liesel Mertes:

Boundaries & Bubble Baths. Danielle x Leslie Bailey May 16, 2022

Show notes

Women have always known that building community with other women creates a powerful force for good. Leslie Bailey, the co-founder and CEO of Indy Maven, has transformed that knowledge into a lifestyle media company and community for women that epitomizes her spirit of collaboration, support, and inspiration. And now she is creating even more opportunities for the community by launching a new social and networking space that expresses what the Indy Maven team has created digitally. I love the wisdom and vulnerability that she brought to our discussion on these topics and others:

Managing success and all the expectations that come with it
Resisting the urge to give away too much of yourself
Setting boundaries
Understanding that self care is about more than bubble baths
Asking for help when life happens

I'm confident that you'll find useful takeaways in this episode. It's a valuable discussion for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed, in need of support, or out of control despite their achievements.

Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of these discussions and it makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:

Ways to connect with Leslie Bailey & IndyMaven:

Leslie Bailey is the co-founder, CEO, and editor-in-chief of Indy Maven, a lifestyle media company and community for women, by women in Central Indiana. Indy Maven offers an engaging website with free editorial content, an award-winning weekly newsletter, a membership program, events, and more. Before launching Indy Maven, Leslie worked as a freelance writer and editor and held roles including managing editor of AAA Crossroads magazine, lifestyle editor at Indianapolis Monthly magazine and "The Adventuress" columnist for the Indianapolis Star. In 2021, Leslie was listed in the first class of the Forbes Next 1000. In the spring of 2022, she's launching Maven Space, a community and co-working space powered by Mavens.

Leslie is a longstanding board member at Coburn Place and was a founding member of the Indianapolis Museum of Art's Fashion Arts Society. She lives on the northwest side of Indianapolis with her husband, 4-year-old and 1-year-old sons, a bonus 12-year-old son, two cats, and a slobbery Bullmastiff.

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